EP Chapter 1.4

I knew it was a ridiculous thought, but if he squeezed just a little harder, I felt like my skull would easily crush. Terrified, I gave him a nonsensical reply.

“I guess so.”

Jihoon let out a hearty laugh as if I’d just told the funniest joke. I, of course, didn’t find it amusing in the slightest.

“You must have had a lot of fun living outside, hyung. Your skin is so soft… your hair too…”

Rabbit. Just a little rabbit. Jihoon murmured, seemingly amused by himself, tracing the skin exposed between my hair and my prison uniform. I had no idea why he was doing this, but I simply endured his touch, occasionally flinching, but saying nothing.

He squeezed and kneaded my neck like someone petting a cat, his fingers tapping lightly against my adam’s apple.

“Are you always this quiet?”

I wondered what kind of expression he was wearing as he asked the question. However, I felt that looking at his face might scare me even more. So, I avoided meeting Im Jihoon’s gaze and answered casually, as I would with any younger acquaintance.

“Pretty much.”

“Ah…”

He sighed softly. Hearing it, I involuntarily glanced up at him to look at his expression. He was staring down at me, his face now devoid of any emotion.

“When we get back to the cell… That little shit who kept bothering you and making you uncomfortable…. I’ll pull all his teeth out.”

Jihoon’s chin jerked towards someone. I followed his gesture and saw the leader laughing and chatting with his lackey while doing pull-ups. In an instant, a wave of goosebumps ran down my entire body.

I’d never interacted with, let alone dealt with, anyone this crazy before. I had no idea what had set him off, but I feigned concern, speaking to him in a soft, soothing tone.

“If you hurt someone, they’ll put you in solitary. Aren’t you scared of being in solitary confinement?”

“Wherever I go, I’m always alone anyway.”

Im Jihoon replied calmly. 

His answer was surprisingly normal and more reasonable than I thought. I almost reached out to take his hand, a misguided attempt at comforting him, but thankfully, he didn’t give me the chance to do something as stupid. A bright smile spread across Im Jihoon’s face as he continued.

“That’s what I told someone who asked me the same question, a long time ago. That’s why I don’t get sent to solitary confinement anymore. No matter what I do.”

“…”

I didn’t respond. No, it might be more accurate to say that I couldn’t. I was too afraid to ask him to explain, too afraid to even acknowledge his words with a simple “I see.” I hung my head low, my hair falling forward, covering my eyes. Seemingly displeased with the sight, Im Jihoon reached out and swept my hair away with his hand impatiently.

“I barely remember what it was like outside… but it’s different here, isn’t it? Out there, they’d probably say I was pitiful while still calling me a freak. But in here… they fear a bastard like me. And… sometimes, powerful people visit… they want to recruit me. They say I have nothing to lose, so I’ll do anything they ask. So they protect me, no matter what I do. That’s why you don’t have to worry about me getting in trouble for something like that.”

Im Jihoon started touching me again. My hair, my neck, my thighs. He ran his hands all over me, and I froze, playing dead like a prey animal before a predator. I was, as he’d said, a terrified rabbit.

“Still… it’s nice that you’re worried about me, hyung. I’m almost starting to regret it.”

He murmured softly with a chuckle. I had no idea if I’d said the right thing or not. I did, however, realize that my fear stemmed from my ability to accurately read the room. Im Jihoon was dangerous, someone to be avoided at all costs. 

And I, it seemed, ended up provoking him. The problem was, no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out why.

* * *

The excruciating thirty minutes ended, and we returned to the cell. Im Jihoon was still glued to my side.

I was the type who didn’t care much about other people’s attention, so I had never once found prison uncomfortable. I’d never experienced the downsides most inmates complained about… but now, I felt those shortcomings I didn’t want to feel. The inability to be alone, even for a second, was agonizing, almost unbearable.

Not just today, but for the next three months, I will be trapped in this tiny cell with Im Jihoon. And yet, I was already terrified of him striking up a conversation with me again. I desperately wanted to be alone.

Fortunately, there was one small glimmer of hope. That hope was going to the workshop to do some work. In every prison I’d been in, inmates were assigned to work duty after breakfast and exercise, until lunchtime.

I’d been to prison enough times to know the routine. Soon, the officer would likely arrive to escort us to the workshop. At least I’d be free from Im Jihoon’s gaze while I worked.

It seemed laughable, wanting to work just to avoid someone’s stare. But whether it was attaching eyes to stuffed toys or carving wood to make screws, any of the ridiculous tasks they’d assign us in prison would be better than enduring this hellish situation of having Im Jihoon constantly watching me.

I stared at the metal door at the far end of the room, trying to ignore Im Jihoon’s gaze. 

Hurry up, hurry up, take us to the workshop quickly…

I silently begged, doing my best to not let myself acknowledge his presence.

“Cell 5. Time for work.”

Finally. The welcome announcement echoed from the hallway, and a corrections officer’s face appeared in the small window of the cell door. The tightly closed door opened with an unpleasant creaking sound.

Thanks to that, Im Jihoon, who’d been silently staring at my face with that unnerving smile, finally looked away. He stood up and approached the officer.

He walked casually, then spoke to the officer in a low voice, too quiet for anyone to hear. He even raised his hand to cover his mouth, ensuring no one could hear or make out what he was saying. It was clear that no one in the cell, not even me, could have guessed what was said.

As soon as Jihoon stepped back, the officer glanced at me briefly. A sense of foreboding washed over me, but I made sure not to show it. Soon, the officer began calling out inmate numbers.

“…That’s all. Follow me.”

After finishing what he wanted to say, the officer opened the door wide and stepped aside. The other inmates, who had been sitting cross-legged on the floor, all stood up and filed out of the room in an orderly line.

But I… I remained quietly seated, motionless, in the middle of the room as everyone else left. The officer hadn’t called my inmate number. Nor had he called out Im Jihoon’s.

I wanted to ask the officer why my number wasn’t called, but I knew it was Im Jihoon’s doing. If that was the case, there was nothing I, powerless as I was, could do… All I could do now was stay still and endure.

The others who had gone outside lined up behind the officer. Then, creak.

With a creaking sound, the metal door closed.

Through the small, barred window, the faces of the officer and the four inmates I had become all too familiar with in just one day quickly passed by. Unable to manage my expression, I could only stare at those faces in a daze.

“Hyung… I guess you must like working. You look really disappointed.”

I heard Im Jihoon’s voice. What would happen to me if I ignored him in this situation? The thought of the consequences was so unpleasant that I quickly raised my eyes to meet his.

“No, of course, I’d rather slack off.”

“That’s a relief. I wanted to be alone with you.”

Im Jihoon smiled, a satisfied expression on his face, and sat down across from me. If he hadn’t been scaring me the whole time, it would have been a cute, endearing expression. The kind of expression that would make you want to touch his hair and tell him what a good boy he was. 

But right now, it was Im Jihoon who was touching me.

He treated me like a small, warm-blooded animal, like a curious child examining a newfound pet. He took my hand and, without asking, rolled up the sleeve of my prison uniform, stroking my arm as if to satisfy his curiosity.

Then, he moved on to fiddling with my knee as I sat cross-legged, squeezing them, his hands moving up to caress my thighs, prodding it idly. Even if I tried to think of it generously, it felt as if he was treating me like a toy. However, to me, every action he took felt eerily similar to a large snake gauging the size of its prey before devouring it. It made my skin crawl.

“This is creepy. We’re both men.”

My true feelings slipped out before I could even stop myself. 

At the same time, his hand, which had been tugging at the hem of my shirt to pull it up, froze abruptly.