EP Chapter 1.3

The cell leader, seemingly wanting to lighten the heavy mood, made a move towards the bathroom. He stood up but immediately sat back down. Following his gaze, I saw Im Jihoon standing there.

The Im Jihoon from last night, the one who’d shared stories of a past I’d forgotten with a relatively friendly face, was gone. This morning, he stared at me with a chilling expression, like a completely different person.

I instinctively shrank back, not bothering to hide it. Pride wouldn’t feed me. To maintain my position, I had to defer to those in power. Im Jihoon looked away from me and addressed the cell leader.

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“Go ahead and use the bathroom.”

As soon as he spoke, the cell leader scrambled to his feet and entered the bathroom. I quickly pulled on my shirt and sat down, facing away from the bathroom. Im Jihoon sat down beside me. He glanced around the small cell with a calm expression, then turned to look at me, his face blank.

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“You heard something, didn’t you?”

Im Jihoon’s single sentence sparked a flurry of thoughts. 

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What did he mean by that? 

If I admitted I’d heard about getting hit for waking him up or saying his name…

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Would he beat up the lackey who told me, or would he beat me up for being scared? He might not do either, but I didn’t know him well enough to be sure.

I could, however, make one educated guess. He didn’t seem interested in intimidating me. He wanted to treat me like the hyung I was, to be friendly like we were outside, however briefly. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have spoke to me in the same casual tone as yesterday. So, I chose to laugh it off.

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“What are you talking about?”

“Come on… if you hadn’t heard anything, you wouldn’t be trembling like a drowned rat.”

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Im Jihoon’s eyes were cold, but he forced a smile, just the corners of his lips turning up. It was a bit unnerving, but I reminded myself I was once his “hyung” and playfully punched him in the chest.

“What’s with the ‘drowned rat’ talk? You’re the one making scary faces this early in the morning. Do you have low blood pressure?”

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His brow furrowed. I instantly regretted my teasing; maybe I’d gone too far. He didn’t answer, just stared down at the spot where my hand had touched his chest.

Shit, did I screw up?

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My heart pounded. Then, he looked up, his expression suddenly softening.

“Hyung, aren’t you the type who doesn’t care about others? I thought you were…”

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He looked like a child, pleased by the attention. I couldn’t help but smile, letting my amusement show. Just then, Fraud Man 1 popped up between us.

“Time to prepare for roll call.”

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Im Jihoon’s face hardened, an expression I hadn’t seen before. But since roll call was mandatory, he said nothing and just settled into a proper seated position. I sat beside him, and soon after, we heard the officer’s call from the distance.

“Attention, all cells!”

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The familiar command made us straighten up instinctively and several loud greetings followed. Then, a corrections officer appeared at our bars.

“Cell 5. Good morning.”

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“Good morning!”

“Total headcount, six. One in the bathroom.”

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“Six…”

The officer muttered the headcount and moved on to the next cell. We listened to the roll call in the other cells, then returned to our spots. Everyone busied themselves with drinking coffee, reviewing their repentance letters to try and reduce their sentences, and other tasks.

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I hadn’t bothered with a repentance letter. I didn’t care about reducing my sentence, and I didn’t even want coffee. I just sat there, staring blankly ahead. So did Im Jihoon.

I wanted to continue our conversation, but it felt awkward. The abrupt interruption had forced us to acknowledge our current reality. Perhaps that was why even the familiar cramped cell, something I usually accepted, suddenly felt suffocating.

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Then, I wondered why I even wanted to talk to Im Jihoon, given how unnerving I’d found him just moments before. However, there was no proper answer to that question, and it made me feel strangely flustered.

* * *

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“Another day, another mountain of kimchi… Fuck.”

The cell leader grumbled, picking up some kimchi with his chopsticks. Because some idiots used metal chopsticks as weapons, everyone in prison used ridiculously cute green plastic ones. The unappetizing kimchi dangling from those cute chopsticks looked like bland baby food. It tasted just as bad.

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As expected, the cell leader grimaced after a few chews. He glared at his lackey, who cowered under his gaze. The cell leader tried another side dish, continuing to complain.

“What the fuck, are they feeding us like cows… Hey, youngest.”

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“Yes, hyung-nim.”

“Shouldn’t I set this fucking chicken coop on fire and eat some real chicken instead?”

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Despite his scowling face, it was clearly a joke. The lackey, however, took it seriously. I was about to laugh at the absurdity, but then the lackey nodded earnestly.

“Yes… I think you should, hyung-nim.”

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“You’re a chicken trapped in the coop yourself, what are you saying ‘yes’ for, you idiot?”

The leader chuckled at his own lame joke. Fraud Man 1 and 2, after a moment of hesitation, joined in with nervous laughter. I found their pathetic display ridiculous and burst out laughing.

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The leader continued his string of bad jokes. They weren’t funny, but the reactions of the others were, so I kept chuckling. The food was inedible, no matter how I tried to spin it, but the lighthearted atmosphere made it go down easily. And then, once again, I wondered what expression Im Jihoon was making.

Normally, I wouldn’t have acted on that curiosity and just do nothing, but something about being in prison had made me reckless. I found myself glancing at the seat next to me unconsciously. And then I met Jihoon’s impassive gaze.

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He smiled brightly the moment our eyes locked. It was the same childlike smile from before our conversation was interrupted and got startled for some reason so I quickly looked down at my food tray.

I immediately felt like I’d made a mistake. My reaction, avoiding his gaze, must have seemed strange, even to me.

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I wished mealtime wouldn’t end, but it did. The lackey collected the trays, and Fraud Man 2 carried them to the bathroom. Fraud man 1 wiped down the table and folded it, and the lackey reappeared with a broom and started sweeping the floor.

It was a well-organized system, just like any other cell. Except for the fact that the cell population was split evenly: three who worked, and three who didn’t.

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It made me curious. How much of a beating did it take to make someone willingly become a lackey? And why did Im Jihoon,

“Hyung, would you like some coffee?”

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…offer to make me coffee with a chilling expression, as if he was trying to scare me? However, no matter how curious I was, I couldn’t bring myself to ask Im Jihoon directly.

As if he hadn’t even expected an answer from me, he quickly made two cups of coffee and returned. We didn’t speak while I drank the coffee. I deliberately avoided his gaze, looking out the barred window at the scenery, while he stared at me intently, not even bothering to be subtle.

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Im Jihoon was the real boss of the cell, so no one dared to interrupt our strange tea time. It made the experience oddly unsettling, my throat feeling parched even as I drank the coffee.

When I had only a sip left, I felt a wave of nausea. I needed to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything. Thankfully, a welcome sound came from outside the door.

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“Cell 5. Exercise time.”

Finally, it was time for our thirty minutes of fresh air. A corrections officer stood at the door with a flock of “crows” ( the prison’s tactical team, the prison’s equivalent of military police). I’d finally get some time alone, I thought, a flicker of excitement rising within me.

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The six of us were left in the large exercise yard as the officer and the crows retreated. True to his gangster persona, the cell leader headed straight for the exercise equipment at the edge of the yard, his lackey trailing behind him.

Fraud Man 1 and 2 strolled around the yard like a pair of old men on a hike. And Im Jihoon… he stayed glued to my side. My hopes for solitude were dashed.

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He stuck close to me, staring intently at my face with a smile. The autumn air was pleasantly cool, but the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. He took my arm and started walking.

“Hyung, have I done something wrong to you?”

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“No. What would you have done?”

My voice sounded calmer than I expected as I answered him. Im Jihoon glanced down at me and chuckled.

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“Then… do you think I’d hit you, hyung?”

I flinched involuntarily at his question. 

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Even though I had been walking, the tremor from it was entirely different from the involuntary flinch of fear. He didn’t say anything more and just kept pulling me along, across the exercise yard. Before I knew it, Im Jihoon stopped in front of the sit-up bench and made me sit down on it. Then, he looked down at me and flashed a bright, innocent smile.

“You were a rat earlier, and now you’re a terrified rabbit. Did you know pet rabbits scream when they’re scared? But don’t worry. I hit unruly animals, not scared ones.”

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For some reason, he’d decided to drop the act he’d been putting on just for me. His words, meant to be reassuring, only amplified my fear. Im Jihoon sat down next to me, a smile plastered on his face, seemingly indifferent to my reaction.

“When I saw you again, hyung, I kind of wanted to look pathetic in front of you.”

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His hand gently stroked the back of my neck. His large hand, which had been caressing my neck, slowly moved upwards, threading through my hair and gently gripping the back of my head.

“But this is better.”

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