EMP Chapter 28

“Can I just get anything?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be back. I haven’t eaten either.”

Kwon Jiwook waved him off dismissively. Whether or not he was watching, Park Juyeon gave a slight nod and slowly stepped away.

The elevator ride to the basement was quick. Arriving alone at the food court, Park Juyeon clutched a 10,000-won bill tightly in his hand and stared blankly at the menu board. Yesterday, thanks to Lee Woojin treating him to a variety of dishes, he had eaten plenty. Everything had been generally tasty, making it all the more difficult to decide what to take back.

In Park Juyeon’s opinion, pork cutlet was a safe choice—one that most people liked. He recalled that even the group he once knew seemed to eat it without complaint. But when he noticed the suspiciously high price, he hesitated.

“Was pork cutlet always 7,000 won?”

Well, it was a bit pricey, but it didn’t matter. The guy was being discharged tomorrow anyway, so it was fine. After some thought, he ordered a pork cutlet and a tuna kimbap roll, then sat down on a chair near the door to wait. In a corner of the food court, a group of men in white coats were gathered, eating an early lunch. Feeling oddly self-conscious, Park Juyeon hunched his shoulders.

Leaning his head lightly against the doorframe, he let out a small sigh. He was just too soft. Why was he taking care of someone who had done such horrible things—assault, school violence, and a host of other misdeeds—just because that person was physically appealing?

If he couldn’t completely let it go, Lee Woojin’s suggestion to seek revenge was likely the most rational course of action. Even Park Juyeon couldn’t deny it. But he couldn’t stop worrying about Kwon Jiwook’s current state. Did the presence or absence of memories change the essence of what had happened? Park Juyeon wasn’t confident in his ability to judge. The current Kwon Jiwook wasn’t the person who had once inflicted unspeakable experiences on him. …Though perhaps this was just an excuse.

Before long, the freshly prepared food was packed into a plastic bag. As he was about to leave the food court, he ran into a familiar face again. At this point, it almost felt as though the other person were deliberately following him. Being polite, Park Juyeon gave a small nod of greeting.

“Hello.”

“Oh, what’s this? I wondered where you’d gone, and here you are. Came back for seconds, huh? The food here’s good, right?”

“Yeah…”

Lee Woojin grinned broadly as he approached. Park Juyeon gave a small, awkward laugh and tried to subtly hide the plastic bag behind his back. But Lee Woojin wasn’t about to let it slide. Without warning, he snatched the bag and peered inside.

“Huh? Didn’t you just eat here? Who’s this for?”

“My mom.”

“Didn’t you text me earlier that your mom took her meds this morning and went back to sleep?”

“It’s for when she wakes up. The rest is for me…”

“And it’s almost lunchtime now?”

His pre-prepared excuse didn’t fly. Lee Woojin stared him down, waiting for a proper explanation. Cornered, Park Juyeon decided it was better to come clean. Even though he could already imagine the scolding he’d get, he had no choice.

“Actually, it’s for Jiwook hyung. He said he hadn’t eaten…”

“What? Hey, wait a minute. Why the hell are you taking care of that bastard?!”

Exactly as he had expected. Park Juyeon bit his lip, while Lee Woojin, his face a mixture of disbelief and fury, grabbed him firmly by the shoulders. Even so, he carefully handed the plastic bag back to Park Juyeon.

“Did you forget what that jerk did to you? Your mom—who’s sleeping off her meds—wasn’t that his fault, too? You can’t let that slide.”

“I know! So stop bringing up my mom!”

“If you know, then why are you doing this? You’re so soft—it’s no wonder Kwon Jiwook toyed with you and tossed you aside.”

“He’s injured. He’s a patient.”

Park Juyeon’s grip on the plastic bag tightened. His muddled emotions spilled out in disjointed words.

“He said he doesn’t remember anything. What am I supposed to say to someone who doesn’t even know what they did?”

“Am I supposed to call this kindness or plain stupidity…?”

“Why are you yelling at me? People’s feelings don’t work the way you want them to!”

His words trailed off into something closer to muttering. Lee Woojin’s expression hardened, his eyes narrowing sharply. Park Juyeon wasn’t the only one who wanted revenge. Lee Woojin had his own goals, and if he could use Park Juyeon to achieve them while also getting back at Kwon Jiwook, it would be perfect. Losing this opportunity was out of the question.

“You… You haven’t suffered enough. Not enough to wake up, anyway. Right?”

“Are you done? Why do you keep cursing me since yesterday?”

“What curse did I put on you? I’m just saying. You don’t know yet how vicious that guy is. Think about it. Do you think his true nature would change just because he forgot about you? No way. If he were a good guy, why would I have been fighting tooth and nail with him for years? I’ve never met anyone as nasty as him in my life.”

“……”

People tend to dig their heels in deeper when others try to dissuade them, especially when they’ve already leaned toward one side. Sometimes, they even end up rebelling against those trying to help. Park Juyeon was a textbook case of this. Lee Woojin’s miscalculation was not realizing how stubborn Park Juyeon could be.

“Do you think this is the first time he’s spread a sex video? There were tons of others before you. The only difference is you were the first guy.”

“Okay, okay. Just stop it already.”

“He has more enemies than you can count. That guy doesn’t need a reason for what he does. He just acts on impulse, so the whole world is against him. Why are you the only one who doesn’t see that?”

Lee Woojin felt like he was losing his mind over Park Juyeon’s stubborn denial. Still, even someone as seemingly indifferent as Park Juyeon had their own inner struggles. As he’d said earlier, if emotions moved as one wished, things wouldn’t have come to this. Since they didn’t, his plan was at least to try talking. Wasn’t it Lee Woojin himself who had urged him to communicate in the first place?

“He’s getting discharged tomorrow, so until then, I just want to have a normal conversation. Without acting like it’s a big deal. Without trembling. Without being scared.”

“Why can’t you let it go already?”

Park Juyeon muttered with a bitter curl of his lips.

“Because the Jiwook Hyung now is the Hyung I used to like back then.”

All the thoughts that had been swirling in Park Juyeon’s head pointed to one conclusion. The words that had just slipped out of his mouth were the starting point of all his turmoil. The Kwon Jiwook who had erased all their shared memories was, at first glance, the same flashy and carefree Kwon Jiwook he had initially fallen for. Despite everything, he hadn’t been able to let go of that time.

On the other hand, Lee Woojin blinked in surprise at the unexpected confession. He’d heard plenty about Kwon Jiwook hooking up with anyone who caught his fancy, but he’d never cared about the emotions or stories behind it. The revelation was startling—but only for a moment.

“You liked Kwon Jiwook…? Ugh. You crazy homo bastard. Fine, whatever. Do what you want. How many times have I said that now? Geez.”

“……”

He clicked his tongue loudly, making sure Juyeon could hear his irritation. Lee Woojin couldn’t understand what anyone could possibly like about Kwon Jiwook, and he had no intention of trying.

Still, hearing those words gave him some clarity about the situation. He didn’t know the full story, but if this was the Kwon Jiwook he knew, he had probably manipulated the feelings of someone who liked him, forcing them into all kinds of messed-up situations. No need to see it firsthand to know. Lee Woojin genuinely pitied Juyeon and hoped he’d get fired up about seeking revenge sooner rather than later. That was only right, after all.

“……”

But for now, that was a secondary concern. Lee Woojin glanced down and peeked again into the plastic bag.

“Why tonkatsu, of all things?”

“Huh?”

“Kwon Jiwook doesn’t really like that. Geez, if you’re so fond of him, you should’ve picked something else, Mr. Park Juyeon.”

“……”

Recalling vague memories, Juyeon gave him a dubious look. That couldn’t be right. He was pretty sure Kwon Jiwook had enjoyed it before. Even if Jiwook truly didn’t like tonkatsu, Juyeon couldn’t understand how Lee Woojin—who could barely stand being in the same room as him—knew his food preferences.

“What are you staring at?”

“……I wasn’t staring.”

What kind of face was I even making? Juyeon brushed his cheek lightly with one hand, lost in thought. Now that he thought about it, there was something he’d been curious about since running into Lee Woojin.

“By the way, why are you at the hospital again today?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“Were you always this interested in Jiwook Hyung…?”

“……? What the hell kind of nonsense is that?”

Lee Woojin looked completely flabbergasted, raising his voice in disbelief. Juyeon, for his part, didn’t even seem aware of why he’d blurted out such a question.

“Do you think Kwon Jiwook is the only one hurt and hospitalized? That guy wrecked some of our people too!”

“Oh.”

“And the guys who hung around him? They ate so much tonkatsu that Jiwook got sick of it and kept complaining. How do you not know that?”

“Really? …….”

Lee Woojin, with unnecessary zeal, answered not only Park Juyeon’s question but also elaborated on details Juyeon hadn’t even asked about. Though it wasn’t exactly intended as an explanation, Juyeon couldn’t help but feel it sounded like one. At the same time, he suddenly felt the food in his hands looked a bit pitiful. Even if Kwon Jiwook ate it with gusto, it didn’t seem like it would bring him much satisfaction. Bowing slightly, Juyeon muttered his thanks and trudged off toward the ward.

“……”

Ugh, that stubborn fool. He has determination, but it’s always misplaced. Watching Juyeon’s retreating figure, Lee Woojin pounded his chest in frustration, as if trying to relieve the pent-up annoyance within him.

* * *

“I’m back.”

“Wow. You actually went and came back?”

“Well, I was hungry too since I haven’t eaten yet…”

Juxtaposing his hunger with casual skill, Park Juyeon raised the bedside table and placed the food he had brought on top. Seeing the spread, Kwon Jiwook’s expression shifted ever so slightly—though not enough for Juyeon to notice.

“Well, since you brought it, I’ll eat it.”

“It might’ve gotten a little cold.”

The brief scuffle with Lee Woojin, which had contributed to the food cooling down, came to mind. Juyeon winced slightly and offered a weak smile. As he unwrapped his gimbap, Jiwook popped open the plastic lid of the tonkatsu and started eating.

For a while, the only sound in the quiet hospital room was that of chewing. It was Jiwook who eventually broke the not-quite-awkward silence.

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“What’s your name?”

This pretty-faced guy seemed to wear his disappointment at being forgotten on his sleeve, yet he didn’t make any real effort to be remembered. If he had at least mentioned his name, maybe Jiwook could have tried to search his mind. But no—there he was, blinking his large eyes without any inclination to answer. Jiwook clicked his tongue in irritation and added,

“Bringing me food like this—isn’t this your way of asking me to remember you? At least give me something to go on if you want me to think about it.”

“Well, you’re not wrong…”

Juyeon’s bitter smile betrayed an irony he likely didn’t even recognize.

“But even if I told you, I doubt it’d matter much.”

“……”

“I heard from Hyung’s friend. Apparently, it’s not just me you’ve forgotten. You lost your memories of the whole past year.”

“That’s true, but—”

“Hyung and I first started hanging out around this time last year, right when the semester started. But honestly, we didn’t make many good memories, so… you don’t have to try remembering me. I’m happy enough just having a normal conversation like this.”

Not only was Juyeon content, but this moment was exactly what he had been hoping for—a return to normalcy after what felt like an eternity in hell. And though the man casually eating lunch in front of him was the very one who had pushed him into that hell, Juyeon savored this irony with a bittersweetness few could understand—least of all someone like Lee Woojin.

“So? How’s the food? Pretty good here, right?”

“Yeah. Not bad. Hand me one of those gimbap rolls.”

Jiwook’s eyes lingered on the gimbap. Juyeon handed him a tuna roll with mayonnaise and perilla leaves. Oddly, Jiwook seemed to enjoy the gimbap more than the tonkatsu. Or maybe it was just Juyeon’s imagination. Either way, after a few bites, Jiwook set his utensils down. Three pieces of tonkatsu remained untouched.

“You’re not finishing it?”

“I’m full.”

Jiwook replied nonchalantly, sipping some water before reclining. His face looked relaxed, almost drowsy, as if his words about being full weren’t entirely untrue. After a moment of slow, deliberate blinking, he spoke again.

“Hey, you mentioned the doctor said something.”

“…About what?”

“They said it’s normal to forget insignificant things. But they also said, ‘You can forget memories you don’t want to recall.’”

“……”

“Do you think you were a good memory for me? I mean… sure, I didn’t just forget you, but it does make me wonder.”

Rarely, very rarely, could one hear Kwon Jiwook’s calm voice. But as he spoke, Park Juyeon frowned deeply. What troubled him was not the tone but the words carried by that low voice. If he wasn’t mistaken, Jiwook had just implied that “Park Juyeon” might be one of the memories he wished to forget.

Juyeon missed his chance to respond. Standing frozen, he struggled to calm the storm raging in his head. He didn’t even know what had happened, yet now Jiwook dared to suggest that Juyeon was an unwanted memory? It was an overly defensive, entirely self-serving statement—a blatant attempt to evade responsibility.

“Don’t Hyung’s friends tell you what happened over the past year?”

“Of course, they told me.”

Told him? Then there was no way Jiwook wouldn’t know about him. Juyeon stared intently at Jiwook’s lips, as if trying to extract more truth from them.

“They said I drank, got into fights. Nothing important happened. Just lived the same way I did in my second year.”

“The same way?”

“Well, there was something unusual. Damn. Saying it out loud is kind of humiliating.”

“If that’s the case, you don’t have to—”

Juyeon offered an awkward smile as he busied himself cleaning the table. He hoped his voice, attempting to sound indifferent, didn’t come off as strange. A glance at the clock told him it was nearly lunchtime—time to wake his mother and prepare her medication. Despite Juyeon’s visibly hurried movements, Jiwook seemed deep in thought. Then, with a trace of amusement in his voice, he finally spoke.

“They said I fucked a guy.”

“……”

Juyeon bit his lower lip hard. That statement felt like a verdict. Otherwise, why else would his heart have plummeted to his feet the moment those words left Jiwook’s mouth? Cursing under his breath, Jiwook continued.

“Hey, but they said you and I knew each other. So you must know too.”

“Know… what?”

“What I did over the past year.”

“…….”

“You tell me. Was what I just said true? Did I really have nothing better to do than go around doing something like that?”

“I-I don’t know anything about that.”

As Juyeon aimlessly cleaned the empty bed table, his gaze locked with Jiwook’s from close range. He found himself trapped, like prey ensnared by those dark eyes. A cold sweat seemed to trickle down his back. It was strange—he had been fine just moments ago, but now his heart pounded erratically, as if in a panic.

“What are you thinking about that’s got you so nervous?”

Jiwook, with a playful expression, slowly sat up.

“How did I do it, I wonder? It’s disgusting, but I’m curious. …Did I do it like this?”

Then, as Juyeon remained frozen, Jiwook brushed his thumb languidly over Juyeon’s lips. In that moment, Juyeon saw it clearly—the suppressed desire for men buried deep within Jiwook’s subconscious, barely hidden in his jet-black eyes. Startled, Juyeon sprang to his feet, sending his chair clattering to the floor.

“Your reaction is hilarious. Are you gay?”

“H-Hyung…”

“Or what, was it you? Are you the guy I fucked?”

The face that had leaned in so close wasn’t his crush’s. It was the face of the rapist he had tried so hard to forget. Juyeon gasped for air, struggling to breathe as panic overtook him. Could it be that Jiwook knew everything and was playing this cruel joke? Was the memory loss just a lie, a ruse to catch him off guard and watch him falter?

Juyeon raised a trembling hand, scrubbing his lips violently. His pale face looked as though he might collapse at any moment. Alarmed by Juyeon’s reaction, Jiwook moved to climb down from the bed.

“What the hell? What’s wrong with you all of a sudden? Hey, it’s a joke. You know that, right?”

“W-wait! Don’t come closer.”

“What do you mean, wait? Just come here for a second.”

As Jiwook lowered the bed’s safety rail and reached for his slippers, Juyeon took two shaky steps back, frantically gesturing for him to stop. Anyone could see that Juyeon’s state was far from normal.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to come closer.”

“You don’t look fine at all.”

“I mean it!”

Juyeon’s voice cracked into a hysterical shout. Whether Jiwook had lost his memories or not, whether he harbored conflicting desires or not, Juyeon could no longer share the same space with him. What had just happened only reinforced the truth he had realized again—he was not safe. If he let his guard down, it could all happen again.

“I-I’m sorry. If I can come back tomorrow… I will.”

“Hey.”

As his foot nearly touched the ground, Kwon Jiwook flinched, but before he could say anything further, Park Juyeon hurriedly added a parting remark and bolted out of the room. Nothing significant had occurred, only that the moment Kwon Jiwook’s fingers brushed against his lips, a sudden wave of nausea surged through him. Oh, I forgot to take out the trash. The thought briefly crossed his mind, but it wasn’t the pressing matter.

Park Juyeon noisily sprinted down the corridor and burst into his mother’s hospital room, practically throwing himself inside. Gripping the doorknob tightly, he took a long moment to steady his ragged breaths. Huff, puff—his panicked gasps filled the quiet room. It felt as if someone had dumped filthy mop water over him while he lay in peaceful slumber. No, even that might have been preferable to his current state.

“Mm…”

Looking up with a pale and drained face, he noticed his mother stirring, seemingly roused by the commotion. As she moved, her fragile figure came into view, and Park Juyeon’s gaze wavered. The moment she woke up, she immediately sought him. “Juyeon, where are you?” Standing by the door, he stepped forward as if on cue, quickly grasping her restrained hand and holding it firmly.

Park Yewon, a woman who had once faced life’s challenges with resilience, had crumbled in the face of a single year of her son’s suffering. It was as if she bore his burden alongside him, breaking down in his place. A chilling sensation crept into Park Juyeon’s chest. She didn’t belong here. She deserved to live a happy life, one he should have shared with her. And whose fault was it that this hadn’t happened?

“Juyeon, my head hurts. Can you get me some medicine?”

The sight of his mother waking up and asking for painkillers first thing in the morning only added to his sense of suffocation. Park Juyeon bit his lower lip hard, a faint crackling sound accompanying the gesture due to his dry lips. As clarity returned to him, anxiety was the dominant emotion that emerged.

Even though the dreams had faded and the illusion he’d momentarily harbored about Kwon Jiwook had been shattered, his life’s direction remained unclear. What he did know, however, was this: even with his memory gone, Kwon Jiwook hadn’t changed, nor would the bleak state of his and Park Yewon’s lives. It also became painfully clear that remaining composed in Jiwook’s presence would always be an uphill battle.

“Mom, are you okay?”

“What about you? Are you okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine. What could possibly happen to me?”

Despite his confident answer, Park Yewon continued to look up at him with concern etched on her face. His forced smile made her tilt her head slightly.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s nothing. You just look tired.”

“…”

“Is it Jiwook? Is he giving you trouble?”

“Mom.”

“Even if he isn’t, if being around him is too much for you, you don’t have to stay close to him. Honestly, I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

Her dry, soft voice trembled with worry.

“If something happens… even if you’re mistreated, remember, it’s not your fault. You know that, don’t you?”

“I’m always on your side.” With those words, her lips sealed tightly, but her hand continued to caress his in quiet reassurance. Park Juyeon repeated her words in his mind over and over again. That’s right. Not everything was his fault. It was all… the result of what Kwon Jiwook had done.

* * *

It was Friday morning. Park Juyeon began his day contemplating whether or not he should visit Kwon Jiwook’s hospital room again. But since he had already cleared his mind, he resolved to follow through on Lee Woojin’s suggestion regarding “revenge.”

The previous night, he had stayed at the hospital, keeping vigil because of his mother’s heightened anxiety. As expected, the small hospital cot left his back stiff. He hadn’t even been able to snatch a decent nap. Rubbing his haggard cheeks, Park Juyeon let out a sigh. Watching him, Kwon Jiwook, who had been lounging with an air of indifference, spoke up irritably.

“Why’d you come back after running off like that yesterday?”

What was the big deal? A little joke had been made—was that enough reason to flee as if he’d encountered something grotesque? Park Juyeon glanced at the sulky man before finally speaking. Despite his lack of sleep, enough time had passed that facing Kwon Jiwook didn’t feel as unbearable as before.

“I have something to say. Isn’t today your last day? I thought it’d be better to settle things properly.”

Kwon Jiwook was already dressed. Apparently, he would check out and leave the ward without being transferred anywhere else. This was trivial information, something Park Juyeon hadn’t gone out of his way to ask. It was all information Kwon Jiwook had volunteered on his own, likely sensing that something was off about Park Juyeon’s behavior the previous day.

Despite the contrast between the trembling, pale figure of yesterday and the composed young man standing before him today, Kwon Jiwook found himself intrigued by Park Juyeon. However, knowing that this was likely their last encounter, he dismissed his curiosity. After all, the boy hadn’t even told him his name. At best, he was just one of the many who hovered around him, nothing more. Smirking lazily, Kwon Jiwook decided it wasn’t worth overthinking.

“Ah, right, right. I had something I wanted to say too.”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry for yesterday.”

Park Juyeon, who had been expressionless, widened his eyes slightly. What was he trying to say by starting like this? As he remained silent and watched, Kwon Jiwook cleared his throat and straightened his voice. Then, with his usual smug expression, he looked down at Park Juyeon.

“No matter how pretty you look, you’d be offended hearing those homo jokes, right? I mean, I wouldn’t have followed you around or shoved myself up some guy’s ass either.”

“…”

“So what I’m saying is… sorry for treating you like that. Loosen up, kid.”

“Chang…”

Kwon Jiwook always managed to exceed Park Juyeon’s expectations, for better or for worse.

The phrase “being lost for words” seemed to fit this situation perfectly. No matter what, the difference between not remembering and pretending it never happened was another issue entirely. A cold, numbing chill spread through Park Juyeon’s body. It was a different feeling from the fear he felt yesterday. The smoldering anger that had been buried deep inside him suddenly began to bubble up from his chest.

“Hyung. Didn’t your friends tell you about it? But you’re saying it can’t be true?”

“No, no.”

Kwon Jiwook clicked his tongue, shaking his head dismissively.

“I think those assholes are just messing with me. I’m sure of it. If I’d been interested in girls before, fine, but with that guy? Never happened.”

“…”

“Maybe if you looked a bit different, I wouldn’t know… Ah, wait. I wasn’t supposed to say that. Forget it, okay?”

Seeing him laugh mischievously, it was clear that Kwon Jiwook was trying to provoke him. While Park Juyeon wanted to lash out, Kwon Jiwook had changed into his civilian clothes to prepare for discharge, and he looked just like the Kwon Jiwook Park Juyeon had always known. As a result, despite the turmoil inside, he couldn’t bring himself to snap back.

A powerless person who tries to act tough is no different from a moth to a flame. At least, that’s how Park Juyeon saw it. So, he held back his desire to retort and instead took a deep, cold breath before speaking the words that had been swirling in his mind.

“I said I had something to say.”

“Yeah? Right.”

“I’m sorry for asking this, Hyung, but… if you—ah, just in case, don’t misunderstand. It’s just a hypothetical.”

“Stop dragging it out and just say it.”

Park Juyeon tried his best not to provoke him. Even though his insides had twisted long ago, there was nothing he could do now.

“What if, Hyung, you were… let’s say, hypothetically, beaten up by someone?”

“It wouldn’t happen… So?”

“If that happened, wouldn’t you want to hit back? But what if the person who did it doesn’t remember? What if they say they don’t remember at all? What would you do then?”

Kwon Jiwook, who had been listening silently, tilted his head slightly. Why was Park Juyeon suddenly bringing this up? Was he trying to figure out if Kwon Jiwook had been tormenting him all this time? Kwon Jiwook’s eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to gauge his intentions.

“Wait, is this about us? Are you being bullied?”

“It’s nothing like that. If I was being bullied, would I be able to talk to you like this?”

Park Juyeon shrugged nonchalantly. Yeah, if he was being bullied, he wouldn’t be able to talk like this. That’s why he was forcing himself to speak, hiding his sweaty palms from the tension. In a way, it was also clever of him to ask so confidently, even though he might be the one responsible for bullying others. It made Park Juyeon realize something. Even if Kwon Jiwook found out what he had done, he would never feel guilty about it.

“Why would he not remember? Is he just pretending to forget?”

“I haven’t figured that part out.”

“Hmm.”

Kwon Jiwook couldn’t understand why Park Juyeon was asking such a question. From the start, he had doubts about whether this was even a legitimate question. Regardless of whether the other person remembered, the fact that they were beaten wouldn’t change, so his answer was simple.

“Who cares? It doesn’t matter. I’ll return the favor, simple as that.”

In that moment, something that had been swirling inside Park Juyeon suddenly stopped. The confusion that had clouded his mind for days, or even the last few months, slowly began to clear. His eyes gradually regained focus, and for the first time, his life felt like it had direction.

“…Is that so?”

Although everything seemed to be going as Lee Woojin had intended, making Park Juyeon feel somewhat uncomfortable, that wasn’t important. What mattered was the realization that it was more foolish to keep things buried inside and pretend nothing was wrong just to protect his pride. He wasn’t Kwon Jiwook, and he didn’t want to live and die by his ego.

“Is that what you wanted to hear?”

When Kwon Jiwook tilted his head and asked, Park Juyeon silently agreed. Perhaps from the start, this was the answer he was hoping for. However, it was only because the withdrawn Park Juyeon couldn’t make up his mind on his own.

From the moment Park Juyeon had seen Kwon Jiwook in the hospital room, things had to unfold this way. But he hadn’t intended to act like they were meeting for the first time and speak so casually. However, Park Juyeon didn’t think that was his fault. In a way, he had learned that Kwon Jiwook hadn’t changed, so it wasn’t a total loss.

It was around the time school was ending. Park Juyeon glanced at the clock in the hospital room and made eye contact with Kwon Jiwook. After their conversation, Kwon Jiwook might ask his friends about it, or he could end up buried in his memory as just an extra in the story of Kwon Jiwook’s life. But at this point, no matter what happened, Park Juyeon didn’t care.

“I’ll go now.”

“You always leave before the others arrive. If you know them, at least say goodbye.”

“It’s fine. They’ve all moved up to high school. I don’t think I’ll see them again.”

Kwon Jiwook nodded in agreement. If he said so, then fine. But it was a shame that Park Juyeon’s pretty face had only appeared in his view for three days. As Park Juyeon slowly blinked, his long eyelashes fluttered.

“Take care, Hyung.”

That was the last thing he said. Of course, he would take care of himself. He had to stay healthy until they met again. He had to be the one to witness Kwon Jiwook’s downfall. Park Juyeon swallowed the rest of his words and left the room. The chances of him and Kwon Jiwook meeting again were slim.

Now, where should he start? It wasn’t enough to drag Kwon Jiwook away and repay him right away. Moreover, Kwon Jiwook had several friends (though they seemed more like lackeys) around him, so it would be easy to draw attention. If they, too, harbored lust for Kwon Jiwook, things would be much easier, but considering his words, they wouldn’t hesitate to play dead. It was obvious how things would go.

Lee Woojin’s usefulness was crucial now. Even if he was still under Kwon Jiwook, his power and nature made him necessary for this situation. Park Juyeon quickly walked to the terrace and immediately called Lee Woojin.

— Hello.

As expected, even though it was during school hours, the great “delinquent” Lee Woojin couldn’t possibly ignore a call.

“Hyung. You want something from me, right?”

— …

“So you keep bringing up revenge and provoking me, don’t you? Am I right?”

— What do you want to say? Have you made up your mind?

“Yes, I’ve made up my mind. I think… I should repay him exactly for what he did to me.”

Park Juyeon, leaning on the terrace railing and casually picking at some nail chips with his thumb, continued.

“This is the hospital’s sky garden. Can you come in 10 minutes?”

— What? Okay, I’ll be there. Wait for me.

This time, instead of the usual impatient or dismissive tone, Lee Woojin’s voice was unusually upbeat, as if he had eagerly taken the bait. As soon as Park Juyeon had thrown it out, Lee Woojin appeared in front of him in less than five minutes. He must have sprinted to get there. Panting heavily, Lee Woojin approached, barely able to catch his breath.

“I’ll help you.”

How nervous had he been until he said that? Lee Woojin swallowed hard before continuing.

“I’ll help you with whatever I can while you take your revenge on that guy. But you have to help me too.”

“You need to be direct. If Sunbae can’t do something, then you should try to make sure I can,” Park Juyeon replied, sounding somewhat smug, as if he already believed he held the upper hand.

Lee Woojin couldn’t say anything in response. What he had needed from Lee Woojin from the start was his wealth. Now that he had his phone number, finding out where he lived, what kind of family he had, or other details would be easy. Lee Woojin, now in a desperate situation, had no choice but to be under Park Juyeon.

Lee Woojin, sensing his own weakness, began to explain his situation in detail. He said that once you join an organization, you gain a different status compared to an ordinary “civilian.” And most larger organizations avoided fighting with civilians because it was seen as disgraceful. That was why, even as a trainee, Lee Woojin had to be cautious.

“But didn’t you get caught by the police?”

“Yeah, that’s what screwed me over.”

Being involved with Kwon Jiwook, a civilian, and getting caught by the police meant that the organization Lee Woojin was part of would be under intense scrutiny. Lee Woojin had to defeat Kwon Jiwook, and to beat the boxer who proudly boasted about his punches, using a weapon would be the most effective. However, Lee Woojin’s mistake was not thinking ahead about the consequences.

“I was just going to bury it and move on if the cops hadn’t shown up… but I don’t know. Every time I ask Hyung, they just keep telling me I’m screwed.”

“The world over there… I just can’t understand it.”

By now, the organization had already dealt with the aftermath. Money had exchanged hands between the police and the organization, so all that needed to be done was pay back with their bodies the amount of money that had been exchanged. And once they kept quiet and quietly left the area, the organization promised they wouldn’t be bothered again.

“Wouldn’t it just be easier to take the beating and end it?”

“It’s easy to say that, but those Hyungs would just die with one punch. What do you mean ‘take the beating’? …Shit, now that I’ve said it, I’m even more nervous. Ugh…”

You never know. When they say “paying back with bodies,” who’s to say they won’t drag you to a mountain and bury you, or sell your organs? The thought of gangsters chasing him, in a situation where anything could happen, made his knees tremble. He was still a high school student with a vivid imagination.

The gist of this long explanation was that Park Juyeon should use his money to pay off the organization’s debt. Park Juyeon thought that Lee Woojin had come up with this idea well enough to be worthy of praise. How could someone target not their own personal money, but their family’s money? He was truly like the next-generation gangster.

“Were you trying to test me from the beginning?”

“I was just casually asking you! What do you mean ‘testing’?”

When Park Juyeon pointed it out, Lee Woojin grumbled with an embarrassed face. It wasn’t a bad suggestion, in fact. At the same time, Park Juyeon vaguely recalled a memory. It was the promise his family had made before he became an adult: that they would help him once, in some way, whenever he needed it. It was also part of their plan to manipulate him into choosing business over his mother.

Now was the time to take that money, or when would he ever be able to? In exchange, he could just flatter them a little. He had sworn never to ask his father’s side for help, but here he was. Honestly, promises were utterly useless. As Park Juyeon thought about it, he spoke.

“If I pay them off, it’ll work, right? I’ll help you out as much as I can with money.”

“Really? So I won’t have to take a beating?”

“Of course. I’ll help as much as I can in every way possible, even with that organization.”

“…Wait a minute. Does your family have that much power?”

“I don’t know. But I think it should work.”

Even though he had been mocked and even had to endure insults from his mother for this rare contact being about gang-related matters, he didn’t mind.

“You said you’d help me. After all, the world is about mutual aid, right?”

A smile, as bright as his character, lingered on Park Juyeon’s lips. Lee Woojin had never seen this side of him before. Even with the sorrowful face that seemed to have given up on everything, there was still a youthful impression left. Just as Park Juyeon was about to continue his idle thoughts, the following words cut through, taking away his brief moment of sentimentality.

“Woojin, what are you doing? You should call your gangster Hyung quickly and get the money.”

“What? What? Woojin?”

“If you don’t like it, you can get beaten up and thrown out with no money, see how well you do…”

“You crazy bastard!”

Lee Woojin, irritated, raised his hand to slap, but Park Juyeon didn’t seem scared at all. Instead, he just shrugged with a smile. It was Lee Woojin who ended up feeling deflated. Yeah, this was my own doing, wasn’t it? Why would I blame you for this? He muttered to himself, rubbing his neck.

At that moment, Lee Woojin had no idea. He didn’t know that Park Juyeon’s revenge would continue for years. It wasn’t until those years passed, and Park Juyeon became a person he had never imagined—no longer a naïve young boy, but a tiger crouching, ready to pounce—that he would understand.

* * *

The powerless, lethargic Park Juyeon of the past was nowhere to be seen. It was as if he had never wavered, quickly regaining the vitality of his daily life. Was this what it meant to find a purpose in life? However, Lee Woojin, who had stuck by his side for all those years, could only see it as precarious. Was it really reasonable to find vitality in life through revenge? Since he was the one who had driven Park Juyeon to make this decision, Lee Woojin couldn’t openly say anything, but secretly, he was worried about him.

But despite everything, Park Juyeon kept busy with his life. With his family’s help, he paid off Lee Woojin’s debt and agreed to live independently by the age of 25. Along the way, another deal was proposed.

They, who had thoroughly understood everything Park Juyeon had gone through, promised to cover the costs for a personal lawyer, medical bills, and counseling. But none of this meant much to Park Juyeon. His ultimate goal was to destroy Kwon Jiwook with his own hands, not to have him judged by the law.

“Hey. I heard Kwon Jiwook is going to college?”

“College?”

It was news he heard about two years after making the decision for revenge. Park Juyeon, wiping the sweat off his face after finishing his workout, responded with a question. At seventeen, having completed the necessary schooling, Park Juyeon no longer had any ambiguous features that would confuse his biological sex.

“Why is he going to college?”

“I heard another group tried to scout that bastard. But do you think someone like him could bow his head and live under someone else? Word is, they said they’d let him go if he entered college.”

“He’s not as persistent as I thought.”

“It just means Kwon Jiwook is that much of a hassle to deal with. They don’t want to keep him, but they can’t stand to let anyone else have him either. Going to college is like saying he’ll focus on academics for the time being. As long as he’s not trying to pick a fight, no one’s going to mess with him.”

Park Juyeon listened quietly to Lee Woojin as he wiped himself down with a towel, finishing his preparations for a shower. After reacting lightly so far, a casual remark suddenly slipped from his lips.

“But how do you even know all that?”

“Do you know how I’ve been making a living since I became a gangster? By managing people. You know my nickname? It’s ‘The Connector,’ man. I know everyone.”

“Hmm, I see.”

Lee Woojin replied proudly but soon caught on to the real meaning behind Park Juyeon’s question, the lingering amusement fading from his face. This bastard, again… Park Juyeon had always been like that. Every time Lee Woojin brought him information about Kwon Jiwook that he didn’t know, he’d prick at him with a pointed question: How do you know that? If asked why he was so defensive, he’d deny it. If asked whether he still liked Jiwook, he’d act as if Woojin was crazy for even suggesting it. Like a damn hedgehog. Lee Woojin had long grown tired of Park Juyeon’s contradictory behavior.

“Woojin. I’m going to take the GED.”

“What? Why all of a sudden?”

“Because that hyung is going to college. I’ll go too.”

It sounded ridiculous. And yet, until Park Juyeon actually passed his GED, scored decently on the college entrance exam, and got into university through regular admissions, Lee Woojin hadn’t believed him.

When the moment finally came, Lee Woojin grabbed Park Juyeon by the collar and shook him furiously. And for good reason—Park Juyeon had applied to a university far beneath what his scores could have secured. What the hell? You idiot. Why did you even bother studying so hard if you were going to settle for this? Unlike Kwon Jiwook, who had no interest in academics, Lee Woojin had always been a bit bitter about his own missed opportunities. He ranted endlessly, only for Park Juyeon to dismiss it all with a single sentence: That’s where Jiwook hyung went.

Orchestrating a meeting disguised as coincidence was no easy feat. Luckily, thanks to Kwon Jiwook’s habit of frequently taking and then returning from academic leaves, Park Juyeon managed to attend the same university even after finishing his military service. That was a relief. Park Juyeon carefully considered how to meet Kwon Jiwook naturally. The answer lay in a central club Jiwook had joined.

He’d always been chasing after him, but they’d rarely had the chance to meet face-to-face. It had been years since they last saw each other. Sitting in front of a drink laced with sleeping pills, Park Juyeon drifted off into his thoughts. …Am I nervous right now? No, his mind felt far too calm for that.

Then, the atmosphere subtly shifted, something only those present could sense. A ripple, a stir. Park Juyeon instinctively knew: Kwon Jiwook had arrived. The kind of man who could seize everyone’s attention wherever he went. Park Juyeon kept his head down for a long time. He didn’t think he could meet his gaze with composure—not this time.

“Hey.”

“…”

In the brief moment their eyes met, Kwon Jiwook looked even more radiant than he did in Juyeon’s memories. It was infuriating. At the same time, he had an overwhelming urge to snuff out that brilliance so no one else could see it. As he mulled over how striking Jiwook had become, a loud noise broke his train of thought. Snapping back to reality, he saw Jiwook breathing heavily, clearly irritated.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

How long had he waited for this moment? Only then did Park Juyeon pull himself out of his own world and smile. His once quiet heart had begun to race again. It was finally time to face the consequences of his actions.