EMP Chapter 23

“Mom, can’t you come with me?”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

His reddish lips pouted, and his young face quickly filled with dissatisfaction. The woman found her son’s sulky expression endearing and struggled to suppress a smile.

“Mom has a lot of work to do right now. Besides, the middle school is right next door, and your friends will all be there too. You’ll adjust just fine, right?”

“But still, it’s orientation.”

“I’ll definitely go with you on the first day of school, Juyeon.”

Her gentle reply was accompanied by a warm pat on her son’s head. “Come here, sweetheart. Give Mom a kiss.” She crouched down, and Park Juyeon, abandoning his pouty attitude, scurried over to press a kiss to her cheek. In return, she planted a quick kiss on his round cheek.

“Off you go now. Don’t forget to bring home any handouts they give you.”

“Okay.”

“And Mom’s heading out too.”

“Have a good day!” said Park Juyeon, his still-unchanged voice clear and bright, as he gave a small bow. Though he was disappointed, he tried his best to smile wide so his mom wouldn’t feel bad as she left for work. It was a mature gesture, true to the thoughtful nature of the 14-year-old Park Juyeon.

It was now 8 a.m. The new student orientation was scheduled for 1 p.m.

As soon as the front door closed, Juyeon grabbed his brand-new backpack and padded jacket, bought especially to mark the occasion. Although there were still several hours left, his excitement had him ready to leave in no time.

Just as his mom had said, Juyeon had been assigned to the middle school right next to his elementary school. Most of the incoming students were his elementary school classmates, so the prospect of attending orientation without a parent didn’t feel daunting. He was confident he’d adjust well.

With his bag on his back, he stepped outside to find that the overcast skies of recent days had cleared. The bright blue sky seemed to celebrate his 14th birthday with him. Smiling at his fanciful thought, he carefully avoided patches of ice that had melted and refrozen.

It felt strange how the simple fact of becoming a middle schooler could make him so energized. Technically, it was just another day, not all that different from any other. Yet his shoulders couldn’t help but lift with excitement.

However, as he approached the school, the unfamiliar building and atmosphere began to unnerve him. The path leading there had felt so similar to elementary school that he hadn’t given it much thought, but the middle school exuded a different aura altogether. Looking around with a tense expression, Juyeon took in his surroundings.

Some kids arrived in their parents’ cars, while others clung tightly to their mothers’ hands, staying close by their side. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. Juyeon swallowed nervously, trying to shake off the unease as he made his way to the auditorium.

When he pushed open the auditorium doors, a few kids he vaguely recognized from elementary school noticed him and gave him a nod of acknowledgment. When Juyeon waved back with a cheerful smile, they scurried off, flustered and bashful. He found their reactions amusing and couldn’t help but chuckle to himself.

As Park Juyeon looked around for a seat, he felt the front rows were too intimidating. Moving toward the back, he was soon greeted by a group of friends he used to hang out with, who swarmed over to welcome him.

“Park Juyeon, you’re here?”

“Yeah, you guys came early?”

“We live super close, how could we be late?”

“But Juyeon says he’s late.”

Living close to the school didn’t stop them from teasing him as they burst into laughter. Their voices varied—some had already started to deepen, while others still had the clear, bell-like tones of childhood.

Juyeon grinned, his eyes crinkling, and scratched the back of his neck. Familiarity was the best. He felt the tension that had unconsciously built up melt away, and he let out a small sigh of relief. It was a great way to start.

As the lively chatter continued, it seemed the orientation was about to begin. Teachers’ voices could be heard directing students and parents to their seats, along with the sound of someone adjusting the microphone. “We will now begin the new student orientation. Please take your seats,” came the announcement.

It was still just orientation, but now it felt real—he was officially becoming a middle schooler. Soon, he’d be wearing a uniform. Even though the entrance ceremony was two months away, he couldn’t help but feel excited. His hands fidgeted nervously as he clasped them together, trying to contain his joy.

By the end of the session, they handed out flyers and promotional materials, which Juyeon carefully folded and tucked into his bag. He made a mental note of important details like the date and time of the entrance ceremony, committing them to memory even though it was all written in the booklet. He read over the information again just to be sure.

“Oh man, I should’ve told Mom not to come,” one of the kids said.

“Why?”

“I could’ve gone to the PC bang or something.”

“Then why don’t you just go home with your mom? Hey, Park Juyeon, you’re coming with us, right?”

Juyeon blinked at the noisy group sitting beside him. Maybe it was better that his mom hadn’t come after all—she wasn’t a fan of places like PC bangs or karaoke rooms. No matter how much he tried to convince her they weren’t bad, it never worked.

Thinking, When else would I get a chance to hang out like this? Juyeon nodded quickly.

“Yeah, I’ll come too.”

“Wait, Park Juyeon, do you even play games?”

“Of course.”

Granted, he’d get scolded if he went over his allotted gaming time at home.

“What? Really?”

“That’s crazy! You don’t look like the type to go to a PC bang.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Feeling slightly embarrassed but also a little proud, Juyeon gave a shy smile. Though he wasn’t allowed to play for more than an hour at home, he made the most of it by leveling up and boosting his rankings in record time.

Now was the time to show off his skills. As soon as the event wrapped up and it was clear everyone was ready to leave, Juyeon eagerly led the group toward the PC bang.

It was nearly 1 PM when Park Juyeon left home, and only two hours had passed since. With curfew set at 5 PM, there was still plenty of time. He quickly prepaid 2,000 won and launched a popular FPS game. That’s when it happened.

“…?”

The PC bang, which had been relatively quiet save for Park Juyeon and a few other soon-to-be middle schoolers (they hadn’t even had their entrance ceremony yet), suddenly became noisy. Curiosity sparked, and Juyeon blinked his big eyes as he glanced around.

From the entrance, a group of burly middle schoolers walked in together. Their intimidating demeanor gave the impression they’d start throwing punches if anyone so much as made eye contact. Juyeon, nervous, snuck glances at them from the corner of his eye, watching their behavior.

“Ah, that bitch’s acting up again.”

“Why can’t you just sleep with her once and move on?”

“It’s been ages since we screwed, and she’s still clinging. Even though I said I deleted the video, she doesn’t believe me. What a crazy bitch.”

…Whoa. Their language was absolutely filthy. Especially the tall guy leading the group. Juyeon, already on edge, slowly shifted his gaze back to his monitor. Those delinquent thugs he’d seen in media? They were exactly like this. Juyeon realized the best course of action was to stay as unnoticed as possible, so he quietly hit the game’s start button.

The other kids were in the same boat. As fresh graduates from elementary school, they couldn’t possibly withstand the overwhelming presence of these obviously older and rougher teens. Even kids who fancied themselves the “bosses” of their own elementary school clammed up, focusing intently on the in-game chat instead of their real surroundings.

“…Ugh…”

To be honest, the oppressive atmosphere didn’t bother Juyeon all that much. Compared to awkward family gatherings at his maternal grandparents’ house where some of his relatives subtly criticized his mother, this was way better.

No, the real issue was the thick, gray haze of cigarette smoke that filled the room.

This is insane. Not only were they loudly swearing for everyone to hear, but they were also smoking. Within minutes, Juyeon’s head began to spin, and he felt lightheaded. It seemed especially bad around his seat. He tried to figure out where the smoke was coming from, and, sure enough, cigarette smoke was wafting up from the seat directly in front of him.

Juyeon hated the smell of cigarettes and couldn’t hide his discomfort. Lowering his head, he sniffled slightly, unable to mask his expression.

“Stop texting me about gaming, you stupid bitch,” someone said.

“Just beat the crap out of her. Slap her face hard, and she’ll listen.”

“This must be because I’m so good at screwing. She’s totally obsessed now.”

Their loud, crude voices carried easily over the partition, reaching Juyeon’s ears. Should I have just stayed home? Getting rid of the cigarette smell before going back was going to be a pain. He put on his headset, trying to block out the noise.

Even the kids who claimed to be close with the “cool” older boys at school didn’t swear this much in front of Juyeon. The constant stream of profanity, especially from the boy sitting directly ahead of him, was a cultural shock. Juyeon felt uneasy at the barrage of offensive words but kept his reaction to himself.

“…”

As time passed and Juyeon got more absorbed in his game, the swearing faded into the background, drowned out by the game sounds. But the persistent cigarette smoke was another matter. It annoyed him to no end.

Staring at the steady stream of smoke with growing irritation, Juyeon decided he needed to take a break and get some fresh air. If he stayed here any longer, it felt like his lungs wouldn’t survive. At least, that’s how it felt to him.

[Guys, hang on a sec,] he typed to his friends.

After typing that into the chat, Park Juyeon removed his headset. He wanted to step out to the restroom and breathe some fresh air. As he stood up, he unconsciously took a deep breath. That was a mistake.

“…! Ack, cough, cough…”

The smoke made him choke violently, as if he’d inhaled something wrong. Can you even choke on smoke like this? He kept coughing, his throat tickling unbearably. His face flushed red as he tried to expel the irritation in his throat. It was only then that he realized his coughing had been loud enough to echo through the entire PC bang.

“…”

“…”

In other words, it might’ve sounded like a direct complaint to the smokers.

As proof, the person sitting directly across from Juyeon froze mid-movement. Though the partition blocked most of him, Juyeon could see the guy’s eyes and nose. He paused his conversation, cigarette still dangling from his lips, and stared at Juyeon with sharp, cold eyes.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t just anyone—it was the very same guy who had been hurling the nastiest profanities earlier. Crap. Juyeon rarely swore, but that single word raced through his mind.

Avoiding the intimidating stare of the delinquent, Juyeon quickly darted out of the PC bang and into the restroom. There was no way he could stay there any longer.

“…Cough, ugh…”

No matter how much he tried to calm himself or paced around the restroom, the tense atmosphere still clung to him. Surely it’s fine now. They wouldn’t follow me out here just to extort me… would they?

Judging by the guy’s school uniform, he was undoubtedly a sunbae from the same middle school Juyeon was about to attend. And judging by his demeanor and presence, Juyeon feared he might get targeted for the next three years. Gnawing on his fingernails, Juyeon agonized over what to do before reluctantly returning to the PC bang. What else can I do?

Other boys seated nearby glanced at Juyeon out of the corner of their eyes. They seemed to be trying to appease the boy at the front by tossing crude jokes and playful banter in his direction. Meanwhile, Juyeon’s friends were still pretending to focus intently on their games, their heads buried in their monitors.

Sorry, guys… At that moment, Juyeon felt like some kind of traitor. As he timidly approached his seat, he finally got a good look at the boy’s face.

“…Oh…”

He knew it wasn’t the right time to think this. He knew it didn’t match the boy’s rough demeanor at all, but… Wow, he’s really handsome. Juyeon had thought the guy’s eyes were striking before, but now, seeing his entire face unobstructed, it was like looking at a child actor on TV. No—he might even be better looking than that.

“…”

“…Hmm.”

Could he really be a child actor? No, that couldn’t be right. If an actor went around dressed like this, acting like a delinquent, it would’ve been all over the news with school bullying scandals or something.

Juyeon slid his chair back up to the desk and sat down, covering his face with both hands. Is it because I washed my hands in cold water? Why does my face feel so hot?

Even so, he hadn’t stared directly at the boy; it had only been a brief, nervous glance. And yet, the sharp gaze he had received lingered in his memory.

Unable to shake his curiosity, Juyeon glanced over the partition, sneaking another peek. He wanted to take a closer look—just once.

When their eyes met, the boy couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from Park Juyeon either. Juyeon couldn’t tell if it was the look of someone preparing to confront him or simply a casual, meaningless glance.

“…Ah. I’m already in a foul mood today. Maybe I should just head home.”

“Huh? You’re really leaving?”

“Yeah, what, you think I’m joking? Get up.”

The sound of chairs scraping and rustling movements from the front row signaled that they were getting ready to leave. When Juyeon hesitantly raised his head, the boy who could easily be called the “leader” of the group was standing right in front of him, silently looking down at him. Startled, Juyeon shrank back.

“…”

The boy stared at Juyeon for a moment, then turned abruptly and walked out without a word.

It wasn’t until the group of delinquents had left that the other kids, including Juyeon’s soon-to-be middle school peers, could finally breathe again.

“Whoa, did you see that guy? He was terrifying,” they laughed, finally finding their voices after only speaking through game chat earlier.

“Park Juyeon, you’re so gutsy! How did you cough like that in that situation?”

“I wasn’t trying to—it just happened…”

“Hey, but did you see the guy at the front? He looked scary as hell,” one of them remarked.

“Huh? No, not at all,” Juyeon retorted immediately.

The others gave him puzzled looks, curious about what he meant. Juyeon, now slightly flustered, answered with an oddly flushed face and a serious tone.

“He wasn’t scary. He was… really handsome.”

* * *

School, cram school, home. School, home, cram school, home. Park Juyeon’s life was a repetitive cycle of the same pattern, day in and day out, unless it was a particularly special occasion. Even a hamster running on a wheel might have a more varied routine than he did.

Living so close to school, he would head straight home as soon as classes ended, avoiding any encounters with troublesome groups entirely. Because of this, Juyeon had no idea who these people were, what they were like, or how much influence they wielded in the area. His focus was entirely on his school life.

It wasn’t until about a month into the new school term that he learned about their identities through his classmates. Based on the descriptions, they were clearly people to avoid at all costs. Yet, deep down, Juyeon had an inexplicable streak of defiance. While everyone else tried their hardest to steer clear of them, Juyeon found himself quietly hoping for an encounter.

He began wandering places he thought they might frequent—up the stairwell to the rooftop, behind the school near the trash area, or the dark, secluded parking lot. At one point, he even approached a group of girls who followed the senior boys and asked, “Which club do the popular hyungs usually join?” He learned that it was supposedly the band club, though later he found out they had lazily signed up for the literature club to avoid actual participation.

The thought of something bad happening if they met never crossed his mind. Juyeon had lived such a sheltered life that the most “trouble” he had experienced was being scolded by his mother. He couldn’t even imagine what might go wrong. Instead, he entertained the idea of running into them with an unspoken anticipation.

It seemed that his subtle yet persistent efforts didn’t go to waste.

One breezy spring afternoon during lunch, Juyeon noticed something different as he cautiously pushed open the rooftop door—it wasn’t locked. He took it as a sign of good fortune. Though the idea crossed his mind, he didn’t let himself hope too much for a meeting, as he’d missed them so many times before. Instead, he was simply excited to explore a new space.

He momentarily forgot that sneaking onto the rooftop could land him in hot water with the school’s disciplinary office. Approaching the railing, he looked down at the schoolyard from above. So this is what our field looks like from here. The spring breeze was still chilly, but it felt refreshing nonetheless.

Park Juyeon had been staring down at the wide sports field for a while, holding onto the railing, when suddenly, someone tapped him on the shoulder from behind.

“Hey.”

“!”

It was a voice he had heard before. Startled, Park Juyeon’s body swayed violently, and he almost fell forward. The railing was there, so he wouldn’t fall, but just losing his balance made his heart skip a beat. At that moment, the person behind him grabbed his waist and yanked him back.

“…”

Before he realized what happened, Juyeon found himself leaning against the person’s chest. He quickly blinked, still trying to process what was going on. As he tried to calm his racing heart, he heard a tongue click from above.

“What are you doing here? Are you an idiot?”

“Ah, no…”

“Or are you just some loner? Why are you sneaking in here alone trying to fall?”

Park Juyeon slowly raised his head to see the person holding him. The familiar, yet unfamiliar, scent of cigarettes hit him immediately. The boy, looking effortlessly handsome, furrowed his brow as he looked down at Juyeon. For a moment, Park Juyeon’s eyes widened.

“…? Wait. I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere.”

Juyeon’s heart skipped again, dropping slightly at first, then spreading warmth and a subtle vibration through his body. It felt like his ears were burning for no reason. It was a physical reaction he wasn’t even fully aware of.

“…”

Embarrassed, Juyeon struggled to speak. He kept his mouth tightly shut and just stared at the boy’s face.

The boy seemed just as confused. He continued to scowl, looking at Juyeon, who was still leaning against him. Damn, this kid’s really pretty. The boy muttered to himself. He wasn’t great at remembering faces, but one like this would be hard to forget.

“Ah, I remember now. Hey, we’ve met before.”

“Huh?”

“Stop pretending you don’t know, damn it. You were sitting in front of me at the PC bang. Don’t you remember?”

“Ah, yeah, yeah. You’re right.”

So he remembered. He remembered me. Park Juyeon forgot the tense atmosphere from back then and smiled softly, his eyes narrowing. It was then that the boy’s face, which had been scowling the whole time, showed a brief hint of confusion. The boy, as if to snap out of it, pushed Juyeon away.

“Hey, hey. Get lost.”

“Huh?”

“Get lost. I’m gonna smoke now.”

Usually, when someone acted so rough like this, others would back off, but this small kid didn’t budge, not even averting his gaze from the boy’s face. The boy felt oddly irritated.

“Fuck. I was gonna let you go nicely since you’re kinda cute, but why aren’t you leaving…?”

“Could you tell me your name?”

“What?”

“I’m Park Juyeon.”

The delicate face, which had probably never experienced anything harsh in life, once again broke into a bright smile. The boy, forgetting even to light the cigarette in his mouth, stared at Park Juyeon blankly, just like how the kid had looked at him.

“Heh…”

What kind of kid is this? To the boy, Park Juyeon seemed like a rather interesting person.

First, it was funny how he still acted like he didn’t know the boy, even though he had been at the school first. Then there was his bright and untroubled expression and behavior, which was curious. Wow, damn. This kid must’ve been raised in a really fancy way. Is he from a rich family? The boy thought to himself as he lit the cigarette. After a deep drag, he exhaled and answered casually.

“Kwon Jiwook.”

“Can I call you Hyung?”

“What? Hyung?”

“Yes, Jiwook Hyung.”

Kwon Jiwook raised an eyebrow, as if he had heard something unbelievable. Park Juyeon, still smiling, nodded.

“I want to call you Hyung.”

“…Sure.”

“Thank you.”

After speaking so boldly up until now, it was a little amusing how Park Juyeon now bowed politely, almost to the point of being too formal. Kwon Jiwook chuckled and gestured for him to leave. The bell for the 5th period had just rung.

Park Juyeon bowed again, feeling proud, and opened the rooftop door. Just as he did, a group of boys, presumably Kwon Jiwook’s friends, walked in, bumping into him. Their gazes met in the air.

There was a trace of confusion about the unfamiliar presence in their eyes. It lasted only a moment, though. They passed by Park Juyeon nonchalantly, greeted Kwon Jiwook like old friends, and gathered around him. Park Juyeon tilted his head in confusion and quickly descended the rooftop stairs. From a distance, he could hear their usual noisy chatter, laced with curses.

“…”

It wasn’t until he entered the classroom that Park Juyeon realized why his heart was pounding. He had been ignoring it until now, but as soon as he saw him, his face flushed, and it was impossible not to notice. Every time he recalled that brief moment they crossed paths, his chest fluttered. Park Juyeon couldn’t help but cover his mouth. Really, he’s so handsome.

Living a life with no failures, the well-kept boy, Park Juyeon, became quite proactive in seeking out Kwon Jiwook after that day. Finding him wasn’t easy. It was obvious. It was hard to search the entire school in just a 10-minute break, and skipping classes wasn’t an option either. They only occasionally met on the rooftop, where they had first encountered each other after the school year began.

The first meeting became a second, then a third, and eventually it became a daily routine. The rooftop during lunch hours slowly became an unspoken meeting spot for them.

At some point, Kwon Jiwook stopped smoking in front of Park Juyeon. He started matching Juyeon’s rhythm, joining in on his conversations and exchanging casual jokes. Whenever Park Juyeon smiled brightly, Kwon Jiwook would smile back, a charming grin of his own. One day, when Kwon Jiwook poked Park Juyeon’s cheek with his finger, Juyeon finally understood what it meant to feel like his heart might explode. It happened even more so when the boy ruffled his hair. The excitement kept building up, little by little. When they were alone together, Park Juyeon never found Kwon Jiwook scary.

If he had to point out something unusual, it would be that Kwon Jiwook completely ignores Park Juyeon when he’s with his group. Toward the end of lunch, when his friends show up, or sometimes when they run into each other in the hallway, Kwon Jiwook walks right past Park Juyeon coldly. There was one time when Park Juyeon tried talking to him, but Kwon Jiwook glared at him so fiercely that he flinched.

Still, Park Juyeon was fine with it. He knew Kwon Jiwook’s kind side, something only he had witnessed. If anyone else had been in his place, it was clear that Kwon Jiwook would have shown a rougher attitude, even when they were alone.

“But why does he say things to me when there are other people around?”

“…Did someone curse at you?”

The woman, who had been quietly chewing her food while listening to her son’s chatter, widened her eyes in surprise.

“Yes. Um. But I think that’s just the way Hyung is. It’s his personality, I guess.”

“Still, cursing… that’s a bit…”

She immediately put down her chopsticks, unable to hide her discomfort. Park Juyeon’s mother, Park Yewon, who looked so much like her son that it was almost uncanny, covered her mouth with a serious expression as she mumbled to herself.

“Is this the issue when you start middle school? Friendships, I mean?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind. Eat your food.”

Even without her saying it, Park Juyeon was calmly eating without any problem. What should she say about this? Should she say something, or should she stay quiet? Park Yewon’s instincts told her that this was the turning point in her son’s school life. Whether he would make good friends or bad ones would likely be decided now, at this moment. After a brief moment of hesitation, she added more.

“Juyeon, if you’re around friends like that, your personality might get a little brighter, since you’re usually so shy… but…”

“I have a lot of fun with my friends outside.”

“Yeah, let’s say that. But I don’t think that Hyung is a good influence on you.”

“Why?”

“He’s the type who just messes around. He curses at you too.”

It was Park Yewon’s honest opinion. From the way her son talked about him, that boy didn’t just mess around; he was what you’d call a troublemaker. Putting her precious son in a situation like that? It was absolutely not a good idea. The saying don’t go where the crows play wasn’t made up for nothing.

“He’s nice to me, though.”

“But doesn’t he say stuff when other people are around? Is that really being nice?”

“…”

“When cursing escalates, it turns into violence, and when violence escalates, it turns into murder. Think carefully. Is that really a good kid?”

Park Juyeon put his spoon down with a sulky expression, and his mother’s heart softened as she saw him like that. She couldn’t help but feel her heart melt as a mother, so she tried to comfort him with a more gentle expression.

“Sweetheart, I’m not scolding you right now. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

“Juyeon, do you really like that Hyung?”

“I do.”

“…”

It was rare for her son to express his likes and dislikes so clearly. Unsure whether this was a good sign or not, Park Ye-won tried to hide her uneasy feelings and forced a smile.

“Alright, if something happens, you have to tell me right away.”

“I’m fine. Nothing’s going to happen.”

Park Juyeon vaguely sensed his mother’s anxiety. He roughly knew what she was worried about. But he believed it was just an overreaction. Even from an objective perspective, his relationship with Kwon Jiwook wasn’t bad at all, so there was no reason to worry.

* * *

As time passed, it became more common for Park Juyeon to show up in the eyes of the bullies. It was inevitable. Sometimes, it was difficult to avoid crossing paths with Kwon Jiwook and his friends. At first, Kwon Jiwook was hesitant to meet Park Juyeon when he was with someone else, but over time, he got used to it. Eventually, he even began to laugh and play along when Park Juyeon would joke around with him in front of his group. The days when Kwon Jiwook would tell him to get lost were long gone. Park Juyeon, who had been making his presence known everywhere, had become a part of their group.

He’d even convinced his mother to tailor his uniform to fit his growing frame, had tried smoking once, and visited someone’s house to drink or watch explicit videos. The only real difference between Park Juyeon and Kwon Jiwook’s third-year group was how much they paid attention in class.

At home, he was a well-behaved model student who listened to his mother. Among his classmates, everyone knew who he hung out with, and no one dared to mess with him. It meant there was no one around to warn him about anything strange. So, Park Juyeon just went along and had fun. Everything he did with Kwon Jiwook was exciting.

Sometimes, when people teased them, asking if they were dating, Park Juyeon would notice Kwon Jiwook’s stiff expression, but even then, imagining such a scenario felt so sweet that he didn’t care. This was what it meant to truly like someone. Even if they did bad things, the person still shone brightly in his eyes. He could tell that he had completely fallen for Kwon Jiwook.

It was such an embarrassing thought that he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, but the truth was, Park Juyeon had imagined dating Kwon Jiwook. After all, the person Kwon Jiwook had been most considerate of, at least in the first year, was Park Juyeon. So it wasn’t strange for him to have hopes.

However, not everything about school life could be so satisfying. As Park Juyeon spent more time with Kwon Jiwook’s group, he naturally grew distant from his first-year peers. He had become distant from the classmates he had gotten along with at the start of the semester, and even friends from elementary school had become distant, with only a brief greeting when they passed by. Whenever Park Juyeon approached them, they would either avert their eyes or avoid him completely.

“…”

“…?”

He hated that. No matter how rough the people around him were, Park Juyeon’s true nature wasn’t like that. He didn’t want to become someone others would avoid, and he always longed for affection from everyone. Yet, Kwon Jiwook seemed to enjoy that mix of awe and fear from others, which was fascinating to him.

“Hey. What are you thinking about?”

Kwon Jiwook, who had been noisily talking with swear words, noticed Park Juyeon lost in thought. He bent down to match his height and met Park Juyeon’s gaze. Park Juyeon’s eyelashes fluttered rapidly, as if startled.

“Huh? I wasn’t thinking about anything.”

“You’re lying. Did you hear what I just said or not?”

“…….”

“I knew it.”

Kwon Jiwook, who had been teasing him, poked Park Juyeon’s small head with his finger. Park Juyeon pouted his lips, feeling Kwon Jiwook’s gaze just below his eyes, but he didn’t take it too seriously.

“Hey. Say it again. He didn’t hear you.”

“Ugh, Park Juyeon is so annoying.”

“I’m sorry.”

Park Juyeon apologized with a sweet, cheeky smile. This was usually enough for them to let it slide. The boy who had been chatting quickly cleared his throat and repeated himself.

“No, let’s drink at my house tonight.”

“You guys drank just a few days ago, right?”

“Tonight, we’re staying up and drinking. No one’s home at my place.”

“Huh? Ah….”

“Don’t back out. Don’t back out, Park Juyeon. Jiwook, you keep him close. Got it?!”

“Uh….”

An overnight stay wasn’t something Park Juyeon had expected. It sounded absurd. The Hyungs had always let him come home early before. Stuck in a dilemma, Park Juyeon cautiously spoke up, not knowing what to do.

“My mom’s definitely not going to let me stay out overnight….”

“Hey, idiot, did your mom let you smoke or drink all those times?”

“Well, even so….”

He already smelled like cigarettes from hanging out with them, and his mother had started to grow suspicious, even though he didn’t actually smoke. Park Juyeon furrowed his brows in frustration. Kwon Jiwook, who had been silently watching, shrugged his shoulders and casually spoke.

“If you say you don’t want to, what can we do? If you don’t come, you’re just going to be out of the group. You’ll get a beating.”

“Hyung!”

“I’m joking.”

“Getting a beating, huh?” Park Juyeon looked at Kwon Jiwook, feeling irritated. Kwon Jiwook immediately answered with a grin, then playfully grabbed Park Juyeon’s cheek, stretching it until it hurt, making him wince. Tears almost welled up in his eyes.

“I’m just kidding. Are you mad?”

Park Juyeon couldn’t bring himself to say anything and just rubbed his cheek sulkily. Kwon Jiwook’s handsome face twisted into a mischievous expression, and his playful smile made him look so carefree and refreshing.

That was Kwon Jiwook. Even though he acted tough, he occasionally showed a vulnerable side in front of Park Juyeon. For the other kids, who had spent at least two more years than Park Juyeon, it was easy to see that, and it made them think of the word “homo.” But thinking back to the time he’d joked about it and got beaten up on a rainy day by a different friend (who was still undergoing treatment), Park Juyeon awkwardly laughed instead of saying anything.