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    Warning: NSFW

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    He must have just washed up because the room smelled of fragrant body products.

    “What is it that you want to say?”

    “Why are you doing this to me?”

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    I asked directly.

    “Who was the one who made the mistake first?”

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    We didn’t answer each other’s questions and merely asked our own questions in response.

    “Why are you asking me about my relationship with PD Han?”

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    “I believe I already told you.”

    My chest was taut with something that might have been anger or tension. He was wearing a black T-shirt and black shorts. His half-dry hair was damp, and his eyes were also dark and moist.

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    He took a big step closer. I didn’t want to lose, so I didn’t back down. Then he took another big step. My heart began to beat a little faster. The aroma of wet tangerines was strong. I opened my eyes wide and glared at him. He was so tall that I had to tilt my head and look up at him, which was annoying.

    “What do you want to do, Oh Milhee?”

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    A moment ago, he asked me what I wanted to say. But this time, he asked me what I wanted to do. My throat was so stiff that I couldn’t even swallow. He slowly raised his hand and carefully wrapped the tip of my hair around his long index finger.

    “What do you mean?”

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    His face drew closer.

    “Is there something you want to do with me?”

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    His breath brushed against my cheek. It was as if an irresistible sensuality had engulfed my entire body, and I couldn’t move a single muscle.

    “No.”

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    My trembling voice seeped out.

    “I have something I want to do.”

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    His soulful voice was low. It sounded as if it would evaporate at any moment. I merely turned my eyes slightly and stared at him. His face tilted down so that our eyes were now on the same level.

    “Try it.”

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    My voice held no provocation, but he still moved. My lips were devoured in an instant. He slightly bent his knees and propped his arms underneath my bottom and lifted me up into his embrace. My feet dangled in the air.

    He walked briskly to the bed while holding me in his arms. My heart was pounding as if it were going to burst out of my throat. As soon as my back touched the bed, he sat up.

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    He took off his T-shirt while kneeling between my spread legs. Since he was an ambassador for a famous sports brand, I have always seen his naked chest in pictorials. However, now that I was seeing it in person after a long time, it was so sexy that it took my breath away. Maybe it looks even more erotic because I know the amount of power that body emits when it explodes.

    He took off my worn sneakers and threw them under the bed. He quickly pushed up the hem of my hooded dress from my knees up to my chest. As if I were possessed, I frantically pulled the dress over my head.

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    “Haa.”

    He brushed my bangs away from my forehead and scanned my body. My neck, my collarbone, my rapidly rising and falling chest, my light yellow bra, my flat stomach, and my white panties… D*mn, my underwear didn’t even match. It’s amazing that I could still have such trivial thoughts in a moment like this.

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    A large hand suddenly grabbed my left breast.

    “Haa.”

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    The moment I exhaled a hot sigh, our lips met. My mouth opened too quickly, so our teeth clacked together, but neither of us cared. He caressed my breast over my lace bra and slid his fingertips underneath the band.

    He twisted my nipple, which was now hard and tingling, between his index and middle fingers. A shiver immediately ran down my entire body.

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    “Mmm.”

    A suggestive moan rang in the air. He sucked my tongue as if he were swallowing my moan. The strong suction made the base of my tongue go numb, and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. He brought his hand behind my back and tried to unhook the bra. His large hand trembled. His hand kept wandering as if it were having a difficult time unhooking the bra.

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    He seemed overwhelmed by desire, and his erection bobbed up and down as it pressed up against my belly. My heart raced in anticipation as I recalled the tight pressure and burning pleasure it brought me in the past.

    I quickly stretched both hands behind my back and unhooked the bra myself. Long fingers grabbed the shoulder straps and pulled them down as if they had been waiting to do this all along. My lips parted, and saliva dripped down the corner of my mouth. I quickly stuck out my tongue and licked my lips.

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    He looked at me with his dark eyes and lowered his head to my chest. He kissed my swollen breast and let out a hot, wretched groan. My whole body felt like it was burning. The only thing that could put out the flames were his hands, his lips, and his violent thrusts.

    After teasing my nipple with his fingertips, he gently bit down on it with his lips and looked up at me.

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    “Hnng.”

    Every time he pursed his alluring lips, a moan escaped mine. After teasing me with his lips for a while, he suddenly brought the nipple into his mouth and sucked hard.

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    “Ah…!”

    My head naturally tilted back. A large hand gently squeezed my neck as if it were strangling me. The warm hand quickly skimmed over my skin and then traveled down. I lifted my head and watched his hand stroke down my body.

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    He was looking up at me with half-lidded eyes, his mouth full of my breast. I reached out and stroked the back of his head. His face was flushed as if he were drunk, and he closed his eyes. His hand, which had been caressing my right breast, gradually moved downwards and grabbed the band of my panties.

    I instinctively lifted my hips to help him take them off. His eyes widened like a pioneer who had discovered new territory. He lifted his lips from my chest and suddenly sat up as he brought his hands underneath my knees and lifted them.

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    His breath brushed over my entrance as my arousal seeped out.

    “Hnnng.”

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    Hotels generally have poor soundproofing. If I screamed out like I used to, the people next door would have called the front desk and told them that a strange noise was coming from the next room. I suppressed my moans and looked down at the man who was kissing my entrance.

    It was as if we had gone back in time. Like the days when we felt like we couldn’t survive without the other. When even our arguments were over trivial things and we were just happy and antsy to see each other.

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    His tongue slid into the tight, narrow passage. He moved his tongue in and out and slightly opened his eyes. I liked how his eyes looked dazed as if he were enchanted. The moment he scraped my clitoris with his teeth, my mouth opened wide as the breath caught inside my throat.

    He took the hand that was supporting my right knee and grabbed my breast. My body trembled from the pain of his intense grasp as he squeezed my flesh for the first time in a long while as well as from the pleasure of having my deepest part touched by another person since we broke up.

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    “Hnng. I… have to hurry up and go back down.”

    Since I was sharing a room with an AD, I couldn’t stay out of the room for long. I didn’t join them for dinner because I was so deathly exhausted. If they saw that I wasn’t even in my room, they’d grow worried. I didn’t want to cause unnecessary strife to my fellow production staff.

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    He sat up and wiped his chin with his palm. His tilted head looked so handsome. This man, who was covered in traces of the arousal that was flowing from my body, looked absolutely delicious.

    He got out of the bed and picked up his pants that he had hung on a chair by the table. As he took out his black wallet from his pants pocket, I recalled what had happened at Naksan Park. He took out what we called his lucky charm from inside his wallet.

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    When I thought of how he might have carried condoms for another woman and not me, my mood sank uncontrollably. I pulled the disheveled blanket over my legs and chest, barely covering them. He examined the condom package.

    As he carefully examined the packaging, I asked in a cautious voice.

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    “What are you doing?”

    “Looking at the expiration date.”

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    “Sounds like it’s been a while since you put it in your wallet.”

    As the director of photography said, after we broke up, he was in scandals. Like Writer Park said, a lot of them were merely rumors and hearsay. But a man with a healthy body, a man who was always hungry for me, wouldn’t have stayed celibate all this time.

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    He nodded once he confirmed the expiration date and pulled down his shorts and underwear in one motion. Only then did his distant gaze turn to my face. I looked up at him with mixed feelings.

    “Oh Milhee.”

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    He grabbed the blanket and called my name.

    “I don’t know what kind of misunderstanding has gotten inside your head, but…”

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    The blanket covering my body slid down.

    “I’ve only ever used this with one woman in my life.”

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    My eyes stung. My breaths grew shaky. I felt like I had to say something, but my mind went blank.

    “Sounds like the other woman was on birth control.”

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    I was talking nonsense. Did I want him to tell me the specific details? I wanted to know how his years had flowed while we weren’t with each other. My heart was filled with intense longing, I wish you would tell me these things again.

    He put the condom on his throbbing penis and brought his body against mine.

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    There was something I really wanted to hear. That you missed me. That you wanted to see me like crazy. That you regretted breaking up the way we did…

    The blunt head of his penis touched my entrance. He lowered his hand between my legs and rubbed the wet flesh.

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    “Hnnnng.”

    A heavy pressure pushed inside.

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    “Haa.”

    With only the tip inside, he let out a hot breath. His neck was red. His skin was thin, so it quickly turned red whenever he got excited. His earlobes and cheeks were also dyed with his arousal.

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    “I…”

    If voices had colors, his voice right now would be an obscene shade of red.

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    “Hmm.”

    Even my voice sounded lewd as I responded to him.

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    “I’ve only buried my body inside one woman. Only one.”

    “Aaah!”

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    As soon as he finished speaking, he pushed inside my tight passage. The feeling of my insides being swept away was unfamiliar. Maybe it was because it had been so long since I had sex, but it was painful like the first time.

    I grabbed his broad shoulder with my hand. My fingernails dug into his pale skin, creating red marks. The pain was worse when he pulled out than when he pushed in. It was as if he were scraping my flesh with a sharp tool.

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    My closed eyes grew wet.

    “Haa, Milhee.”

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    My name bloomed from his lips.

    “Nnng.”

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    I groaned as if I were answering his call. He violently thrust in as if he couldn’t bear it anymore. I barely raised my eyelids. I wondered what kind of face he had while he took me.

    My heart stopped beating as I locked eyes with him. His eyes were as bright with joy as when we first embraced each other.

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    There he was, far away yet so close. With a distant face, he was panting hot breaths as his body continued to ram into mine.

    “Hnnnng.”

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    I lifted my upper body and hugged his neck tightly. He buried his face in the crook of my neck as his body moved against mine.

    “Haaa!”

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    My moans grew more intense. I could feel him using all his might to suppress his violent urge to thrust harder. He had been worried every time he held me, saying that if he exerted even a little bit of strength, I might break.

    Even now, I could feel his deep concern and consideration. But that didn’t mean I felt like it wasn’t enough. He was tireless, and he dug in several times throughout the night because he couldn’t push me too hard. Every time, I pushed myself to my limit and exhausted all my strength, but he couldn’t hide his hungry eyes.

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    “It’s been way too long.”

    He whispered in my ear.

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    “It’ll be over very soon. Hmm.”

    His voice was soaked in pleasure as a groan escaped his lips. And then he kept pushing me until I was completely exhausted.

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    “Aaahng.”

    I buried my lips against his shoulder, feeling like I’d scream if I didn’t. I sucked and bit his smooth skin, engraving my moans all over his body. The pain quickly turned into light shivers of pleasure. It felt like he was scratching all the ticklish spots at once, making my jaw tremble.

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    As I twisted my hips to align it with his body, he hooked my left leg over his right arm. The sensation of his thrust grew deeper.

    “Aah.”

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    As I tilted my neck back, his hot tongue touched my skin. He licked, sucked, and rubbed his lips all over. I moaned without realizing that he was leaving marks behind. Wet lips moved up my jawline and touched my lips. I sucked and swallowed his lips first. I pushed my tongue inside and thoroughly licked his mouth.

    Below, he was inside. But above, I was inside. It was as if our flesh were connected endlessly. I loved the moment when we were completely connected without any gaps. It was like ecstasy. It was as if we had been one human being from the very beginning. As if our body, mind, and thoughts were all one.

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    This sense of fulfillment that could not be shared with anyone else. S*x with Gong Mujin was not simply a passing act. It was love itself, giving everything and taking everything. So now…? I don’t know. It was hard to gauge the value of this act that has not changed at all from the past.

    Even his remark that he had buried his body inside only one woman was not enough to fill the empty space that had been created over the years. This may just be his vain attempt at relieving his sexual urges with a woman he was familiar with.

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    But what about me?

    My arms tightened around him. My yearning for him was too strong for this to be considered an impulsive act. Tears welled up in my eyes. Our interlocked lips pulled apart.

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    Tears flowed down the corners of my eyes. His soft, swollen lips brushed against my eyes. His habit of licking away my tears had not changed at all.

    “Hnnng.”

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    A sobbing moan escaped my lips.

    “Milhee.”

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    He breathed out my name as if he were emitting a fragrance.

    “Aaah!”

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    As I reached my climax, I couldn’t even moan and just trembled. The familiar thrill washed over me in an instant. It started from my lower abdomen and squeezed through me until it reached the tips of my toes. Only my heart beat wildly inside my chest as if to prove that I was alive.

    “Mm… Aah…”

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    He let out a guttural groan as his body shook. His huge body twitched as if it were impatient because he couldn’t push further inside. I could clearly feel his swollen desire bursting out. I buried my face in his neck and shoulder and tried to suppress my sobs. Once the sorrowful pleasure burst out, it didn’t easily go away.

    After he finished ejaculating, he buried his body against mine and pressed a kiss on my right cheek. From my cheek to the corner of my eye, from the corner of my eye to the bridge of my nose, from the bridge of my nose to my forehead, from my forehead to my temple, from my temple to the side of my head, and then back up to my cheek and lips. It was as if he couldn’t stop kissing me.

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    “I need to go now.”

    I muttered quietly.

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    “Stay a little longer before you go.”

    He whispered.

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    “I share a room with the AD. I said I was tired and came back first… She’d think I was being weird if I wasn’t in the room.”

    He pulled back and looked down at me.

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    “You came back first?”

    His frown was the same as before.

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    “Everyone went out to eat dinner, but I came back first.”

    “Then you haven’t eaten dinner? Even though it’s this late?”

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    He was always upset whenever I missed a meal. He quickly got up, took off the condom, tied the end, and threw it into the trash can. There was a considerable amount of semen inside the transparent pouch. Feeling embarrassed for no particular reason, I grabbed the end of the blanket and covered myself with it.

    “Please hand me my dress.”

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    He frowned and pretended not to hear me. He took the hotel pamphlet out of the drawer and began looking through the room service menu.

    “Eat something before you go.”

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    “I’ll go to my room and eat.”

    “You’re just going to go to your room and sleep because you’re tired.”

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    “Skipping a meal won’t kill me.”

    He glared at me with scary eyes.

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    “You didn’t even eat all your lunch earlier.”

    Since we kissed last night, I felt anxious as if I were floating in air. When something bothers me, I stop eating. It’s better not to eat than to eat and get sick.

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    “How do you know that?”

    “It was obvious. Why wouldn’t I know?”

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    “Other people don’t know. They don’t know I don’t eat.”

    My voice sounded choked up. Gong Mujin always noticed things that others missed.

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    “Because other people don’t only look at you.”

    He blurted it out as if it was obvious. He called the front desk to order some dried pollack soup. As if he knew that my digestion was poor whenever I was anxious about something.

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    Wearing only a pair of black shorts, he came to the bed.

    He sat down on the edge of the mattress and gently cupped my cheek with his large hand. His hand nearly covered the entire side of my head.

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    “Are you feeling anxious because of me? Because of what happened yesterday?”

    I couldn’t answer him. I merely stared at him while I layed in bed.

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    “It’s not just because of yesterday…”

    My voice faded away. If I kissed a man with whom I did not share a tangled past, would it have been less complicated?

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    “I think we need to sort some things out…”

    I cautiously began to talk. Just because we broke up, reunited, and slept together once, doesn’t mean our relationship will be restored to normal.

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    “I have nothing to sort out.”

    He replied with a firm voice.

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    What did he mean by that?

    ‘I think we have something we need to discuss… Do you have anything you’d like to explain to me?’

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    In our last phone call just before we broke up, he answered my question just as firmly as he did now.

    ‘I don’t.’

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    We broke up a month later. They say history repeats itself.

    Is it possible that our foolish obsession is leading us to repeat the relationship of our youth?

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    I don’t want that. I don’t want to fall into a pit of despair. Once was enough.

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