DWWWB Ch 4

His left hand went under the desk. Seeing this, I lowered my right hand. His thick fingers dug between my slender ones. Our hands locked. He gripped my small hand tightly before I could tighten my grasp. The moment we touched without a single gap between her hands, my breath caught.

“Spring Awakening is a German expressionist play. The play, which depicts the conflict between adolescent sexual impulses and the existing society, was written around 1890, but it was not performed on stage until 1912. It is natural for adults to have sexual desires. However, it is also natural for parents to worry about their children. Later generations are always ahead of the previous generation. It is also natural to fear the generation that is ahead. I understand the criticism of the old generation. Spring Awakening, a play that is made up of the conflict of things that come naturally, is also a tragedy.”

Frank Wedekind, who titled his work ‘Spring Awakening’, seemed to be saying how clear, dangerous, and natural the desire for one’s first love is. The professor’s voice went in one ear and out the other. Spring was blooming at my fingertips and opening my eyes to the man who brought a new era into my life.

He must have felt the same way. He was fidgeting with my hand, holding it tightly then loosening his grasp, tickling the back of my hand with his fingers then pushing his thumb between our palms. It felt like he was doing all kinds of lewd things with his hands.

Every time he scratched my palm with his thick thumb, the inside of my thighs twitched. I sat with my thighs pressed together and bit my lower lip. My shoulders trembled whenever he touched the tender flesh between my fingers. Every time I changed my posture, feeling a surge of passion, he also pressed his lips together and tried to suppress the faint smile from stretching across his face.

It was so dangerous to have your eyes opened. He was only smiling, but it looked sexy.

“I will replace the final exam with a critique of Spring Awakening. The submission form will be the same as before.”

The last class was over. Because we had taken all the major exams, it was the end of the semester. He had one major exam left to take on Friday. I thought physical education was all about using the body, but I almost fainted from shock when I saw the muscle anatomy textbook he was studying.

“You said your muscle anatomy test was on Friday?”

I asked as if I cared very much about his schedule.

“Yeah. Third period this Friday. I’m dying. I can’t seem to memorize it.”

It was cute when he moaned.

“Do you want me to help you memorize it?”

He tilted his head and smiled.

“Didn’t you almost faint when you saw the textbook cover?”

“I’ll try to power through it!”

I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the feeling of his large hand stroking my head. I narrowed my eyes and smiled like a docile lamb.

“Are you really going to help me?”

I nodded vigorously. He opened his laptop again and logged into the school portal. Unfortunately, the central library seminar rooms were not open to reserve. There was no way there would be any seats left during the exam period.

“The training room will probably be empty since it’s the exam period.”

“Sounds good to me!”

I wondered what the indoor space where he trained looked like. Of course, I’m curious about everything that has to do with him now.

After leaving the classroom, we held hands and walked toward the gym. The campus that felt so wide when I walked across it alone now seemed infinitely smaller when I was with him.

“Aren’t you two hot? Don’t you have sweat rashes on your hands?”

It was Kim Daehwan, last year’s chairman of the club association. As soon as I heard his sharp voice behind me, I let go of Gong Mujin’s hand. When my heart suddenly sank with regret, a strong arm grabbed my shoulder in an embrace. My right shoulder was completely buried against his flat chest. My face immediately flushed.

“Hey, do you think I’m going to eat Oh Milhee? Quit glaring.”

Kim Daehwan continued to ramble as he shook his head.

“You fought with Heesu, didn’t you? Is that why you’re picking a fight?”

I tilted my head and looked up at the man who was my boyfriend. The first thing I saw was his sharp jawline followed by his red, plump lips and his steep nose. After seeing Kim Daehwan, I stared at the man who seemed way more handsome.

“Hm?”

He felt my gaze and looked down at me with gentle eyes. I don’t know what Kim Daehwan meant when he told him to stop glaring. His eyes were so kind. Suddenly, he lowered his head and left a smacking kiss on my forehead.

“Ah, you’re such a jerk. F*cking crazy bastard.”

Kim Daehwan spat out a curse.

“You came to my house…”

“Hey!”

Kim Daehwan jumped at his words.

“It didn’t seem like Heesu could sleep all night. Call her. I’m sure she’ll pick up right away.”

Kim Daehwan nodded obediently as if he were waiting to hear those words. Then Gong Mujin turned around while still holding my shoulder.

“What did Daehwan-sunbae do when he went to your house, Oppa?”

I asked innocently. Even though I was blushing in his arms, I didn’t even have the ability to imagine the lewd behaviors of other couples. I was still naive.

“Just some stuff.”

He lowered his head again and kissed my temple.

The greenery was thick as summer drew near. The green before the dark green was like youth before falling in love. It was a season where we ran with all our might towards the hot melting point, and in that sense, our relationship was similar to the month of June.

The training room was unexpectedly empty. There was a thick mat leaning against one wall, and another wall had a full-length mirror. There was a lot of exercise equipment, but it felt empty, perhaps because it was filled with metallic objects.

He brought his own mat out and laid it out on the floor. Then he wiped it thoroughly with a disinfectant wipe. The smell of disinfectant coming from the wipe caused a shiver to run down my spine.

“Sit.”

I nodded and sat down on the edge of the mat. The mat was much thicker than a yoga mat, and it was quite poofy. He sat down facing me. Then he took the muscle anatomy textbook out of his bag. I flinched again when I saw the cover with red muscle ridges flowing across the surface.

“How can you help me study when you keep reacting like that?”

He laughed cheerfully. I snatched the book out of his hands and opened it to the page he told me he needed to memorize.

“Biceps brachii?”

My voice rang through the training room as I recited the name of the muscle. His eyes slightly trembled at the sound.

“Here.”

He said as he gently squeezed the inside of my right forearm with his hand. I thought he was only going to point at my body, so my heart raced at the unexpected touch. But my eyes had already opened to a new era, and I looked back down at the anatomy diagram, wondering which muscle he would touch next. The disgusting anatomy diagram suddenly seemed romantic.

“Sternocleidomastoid muscle.”

This time, instead of touching my body, he touched his own shoulder. I’m disappointed, Gong Mujin. I bit my lower lip and frowned.

“External oblique muscle.”

He reached out to me as we sat across from each other. His large hand gently grabbed my side, just above my waist. I held my breath and tightened my stomach. He shook his head slightly and laughed.

Shall we go a little bolder?

“Adductor muscle.”

He looked up at the ceiling and laughed before pointing to his inner thigh. Ding! You’re wrong, Gong Mujin. It’s not there! I held back the urge to shout this out. The muscle location was correct. The only problem was that it wasn’t my muscle.

“Splenius cervicis.”

I muttered in a somewhat stiff voice. Then he drew closer until we were sitting right in front of each other. He grabbed my flowing hair with both hands and pushed it over my shoulder.

His head slowly tilted down. I felt his breath on the sensitive skin below my ear, and then his lips softly touched my skin before it pulled away. I held my breath as my shoulders slightly shrugged.

“Here.”

His lips moved against the back of my neck.

“Splenius capitis muscle.”

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even tell where his breaths were going.

“Levator scapulae.”

He buried his lips against the nape of my neck and muttered the names of the muscles.

“And here is the suborbital muscle, also known as the muscle that lowers the corners of your mouth.”

His lips were just below mine. I turned my head to capture his lips, but he grabbed the back of my neck, making it difficult for me to move.

“Risorius muscle. Also known as the muscle that lifts the corners of your mouth.”

He kissed the muscle that pulled the corner of my mouth and licked the area just above my upper lip with his tongue.

“This is the masticatory muscle. Also known as the biting muscle.”

Then he gently sucked my upper lip.

“Nnng.”

A groan escaped my lips without me realizing. I stuck out my tongue and gently licked his lower lip.

“This is probably the transversus linguae.”

He bit my lips as his tongue brushed against mine.

“Mmmm.”

The tension in my neck began to ease, and my body began to grow limp as he gently rubbed my nape. The tongue that pushed into my mouth felt hot. The dizzying sensation of the bumps of my tongue being rubbed made my breath catch in my throat.

He pushed me back with a strength that I couldn’t resist. My upper body tilted back. The muscle anatomy textbook felt heavy against my chest. I was already out of breath, and the book was too heavy. As I struggled to push the book away, his lips gently pulled away.

He looked down at me with dark eyes. His face was still so close that our breaths mingled together. His gaze searched my face and then turned downward. He quietly pushed aside the book that had been covering my chest. My thin T-shirt was pushed up.

“Hnng. Rectus abdominis?”

I groaned as I named the muscles his hands were brushing against. His hands moved up my flat stomach. He smiled and brushed his pointed nose against my cheek. My eyes slowly closed as his breath hit my flushed cheek.

“Ah…”

My bra was pushed up. Before I could even remember what underwear I was wearing today, his head lowered. The tip of my breast was sucked into his moist mouth. My breaths quickened, and my chest rose and fell rapidly.

I turned my head because it was too overwhelming, and I could clearly see the two people reflected in the mirror. He was holding the mat with one arm and supporting my lower back with the other as he sucked my breast. His ears and neck were red. I could see the muscles of his back trembling as his thin T-shirt hung down.

I reached out and was about to stroke the back of his head. Suddenly, the door outside the training room rattled. Without saying a word, I sat up. I quickly straightened my clothes as if nothing had happened and picked up the muscle anatomy textbook. My heartbeat was so fast that it felt like my heart was about to snap.

The sound of footsteps passed outside the training room and went somewhere far away. We held our breath until we could no longer hear the footsteps.

Then laughter broke out. I don’t know if I laughed first or if he laughed first.

Through the small window that was on the ceiling of the training room, I could see the branches of a weeping willow. Our laughter was as refreshing and as exciting as the green leaves swaying in the breeze.

* * *

It was a garden where all the beautiful roses in the world seemed to have been gathered. Red, pink, white, yellow, orange, and yellow roses were literally in full bloom. The rose festival was in full swing in the amusement park modeled after European buildings and gardens.

June 30th, it was his first birthday we were celebrating together. When I asked him what he wanted to do, he said he wanted to go to an amusement park. For a man who had such a large frame and was often told that he seemed scary, his wish was quite innocent.

“But you’re not scary at all.”

I looked up at him and smiled.

“So I’m not scared of you at all.”

Heesu initially said he had a sensitive, cranky, and aggressive personality. However, the man in front of me was soft, gentle and tender.

‘Oppa isn’t like that. He’s very gentle.’

When I told her this, Heesu felt that she had been mistaken and changed her mind.

The season was leading up to full-blown summer, and the sunlight was dazzling. He was wearing a sky blue polo shirt, beige cotton pants, and white sneakers. I asked him what he was going to wear beforehand and chose clothes and shoes of similar colors. I wore an ivory dress, a light sky blue cardigan, and white canvas shoes.

“Your sneakers aren’t black.”

He laughed when he saw my sneakers.

“You’re not wearing black either, Oppa.”

I tried to imitate his nuances, and he laughed along with me. I couldn’t help but laugh because I felt so good.

“Let’s take a picture here.”

The entire wall was covered with roses. He stood in front of the wall and stood about six or seven steps away. He was holding a film camera in his hand. The classic shape of the camera, which was said to have been used by his father when he was young, strangely matched his sophisticated appearance.

“We’re not taking a picture with your phone?”

“I can’t handle the photos I take with my cell phone. I’ll take the picture with the film camera and develop them later.”

His desire to keep a physical photo sounded romantic, and I smiled. Click, the sound rang out.

“I’ll take a picture of you too, Oppa.”

I reached out and was about to take a step forward.

“Huh?”

His eyes widened in surprise.

“What is it?”

I also grew surprised and asked.

“Stay still. Don’t move. There’s a bee.”

“Really?”

I froze, my shoulders rose up to my ears.

“Did it go away?”

I asked in a trembling voice.

“No.”

He shook his head and drew closer.

“Stay away! I have to stay still for it to leave.”

“I’ll chase it away.”

“What if it stings you?!”

The moment I shouted out in fear, he drew closer and pressed a peck on my lips. As soon as I looked up at him with wide eyes, I heard the sound of a camera shutter.

“The bee left. Let’s go, too.”

He wrapped his large hand around my shoulder and briskly walked us away.

“There was no bee, was there?”

“There was. Why would I lie?”

He frowned and smiled. I felt like I had been tricked, but since he denied it, I couldn’t ask any further.

“You need to give me a copy of the photos once they’re developed.”

“Okay. I’ll scan the film and send it to you as a digital file, too.”

“You can do that?”

As he nodded, a drop of water fell from the sky and landed on his sharp nose.

“Huh? It’s raining!”

There was no word of rain today, but the sky suddenly grew dark. Seeing the low, dark clouds gathered overhead, it seemed like it was going to rain.

“Let’s run!”

“No! Oppa, where could we possibly run to? Let’s just ride that!”

I pointed to the Ferris wheel.

“That?”

“If we ride that, we can avoid the rain.”

I brought my hand to my forehead to cover my eyes and ran towards the Ferris wheel. He hesitated for a moment before running after me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started running with me. Before we knew it, the water that had soaked the ground was splashing onto my calves.

The sudden rainfall caused people to disperse, and we were able to board the Ferris wheel as soon as we arrived. The Ferris wheel compartment we got into was red like a ripe apple. The round capsule slowly rose into the sky as it shook back and forth.

“Milhee.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t laugh when I tell you this.”

I nodded.

“You see… I… have a fear of heights.”

My heart sank when I saw him frowning so seriously.

“You should have told me sooner!”

“I didn’t have time to say anything. And if you got even wetter, your…”

His gaze turned to my chest. The silhouette of my underwear was faintly visible through the ivory fabric of my dress that was now soaked in rainwater.

“Aagh.”

I was so surprised that I covered my face by crossing my arms into an ‘X’ shape.

“What’s the point of covering it now? I already saw it all.”

He only saw it once ten days ago at the training room in the gym. But he still smiled and teased me.

“Don’t tease me. I didn’t tease you about your fear of heights.”

The compartment rattled for a moment. Before he had a chance to show his surprise, I was even more startled. I quickly moved to his side.

“Are you okay?”

I held his hand, which was wet from the rain.

“It’s a little scary.”

His gaze that had been glancing out the window shifted to me. His face was also soaked with rainwater. I slowly swept the rainwater from his cheek with the back of my finger. His face slowly tilted towards me as I lowered my finger.

His cold, wet lips met mine, and our hot tongues tangled. Perhaps due to the moisture, it felt more sensual than the other times we kissed. Our wet clothes clung to our heated skin. The hand that had been brushing his cheek stretched out and hugged the nape of his neck.

The hot air rose inside the capsule. The windows of the Ferris wheel were slightly open, but it was not enough to let the heated air out. Our breaths dazedly reached towards each other before scattering in the air.

His firm arms tightened around my back.

“Hmm.”

A scorching groan escaped as if my body was melting. His hand, which was holding the tip of my chin, trembled. The Ferris wheel compartment was now reaching its highest point. I don’t know if his trembling was due to fear or because of me.

If it was due to fear, I wanted to hug him tighter. I got up and sat down on his lap. He hugged my waist tightly, and I also wrapped my arms around his neck.

My head tilted to the side, and our kiss deepened. His tongue almost slid down my throat and licked the tender flesh of my mouth as if he were trying to swallow food. His tongue was sweeter than any food I’d ever tasted. I sucked fiercely on his tongue. His body twitched.

Our lips pulled away for a moment.

“It hurts. At this rate, you’re going to pull my tongue out.”

He muttered quietly. I couldn’t help but giggle. With a clank, I heard the door of the Ferris wheel capsule open from outside. We jumped off the ride as if we were running away. The rain had stopped, and there was no one waiting to board.

“Milhee.”

“Hm?”

His back was to the large, round Ferris wheel.

“Want to ride it one more time?”

The man with a fear of heights smiled bashfully as he pointed to the Ferris wheel. He looked like he could ride it a hundred times.

On the bus ride back to Seoul, we sat side by side in the back seat where there were only a few people. As people got on the bus one by one, I recited a chant in my head.

Don’t come here. Don’t come here. Don’t come back here. Please don’t come to the back!

The amusement park was relatively empty on weekdays, and the buses that ran every fifteen minutes were also pretty relaxed. The bus was only carrying three or four more passengers as it left the stop, and it moved at a leisurely pace.

As the bus passed the Masung interchange, the interior lights went out. I sat by the window and rested my head on his shoulder as he sat in the aisle seat. We held hands and slowly played with our fingers. We clasped and unclasped, rubbed the soft flesh on the inside of our palms and kneaded them. He grabbed my wrist, carefully lifted it, and silently kissed my palm.

My head spun from the ticklish sensation that seemed to travel up from my palm. I felt my underwear grow wet. Now, when I got excited, my underwear grew wet, and I could feel the area between my thighs twitch. I didn’t hate it. No, I was anxious to make this feel even better.

I stuck my chin out first. He craned his neck, looked down the aisle, and then gently pressed his lips to mine. I wanted the sound of the bus engine and the tires grinding against the asphalt to drown out our kiss.

His tongue swirling in my mouth was sweeter than ever. I couldn’t moan, but the intense stimulation continued, making me lose my breath. I pulled my head back and brought my lips away. He moved closer and nibbled on my lips. Wanting to deepen the kiss, I brushed the trembling corner of his lips with my fingers.

“You’re so soft.”

He quietly muttered the words against my fingers. My lips automatically parted at his words. A hot breath escaped. His lips were buried under my ear.

“It’s so soft here, too.”

His voice wavered dangerously like the swaying heat over a blazing fire. His hand cautiously held my waist. His body, leaning sideways against the backrest, was completely turned towards me.

“You’re so soft that I want to keep putting my lips on your skin.”

He whispered, his hot breath brushing against my collarbone.

“I wonder how much softer it will be inside.”

When I heard his murmur, I squeezed my eyes shut. An unbearable heat surged. We didn’t move at all until the bus passed through the Seoul tollgate. We continued to tightly hold onto each other. As we passed the Yangjae interchange, the aisle lights began to flicker.

Even though no one was watching, we flinched and sat up straight in our seats. Looking at his stiff face, I began to laugh. Why was I laughing so much these days? I have never laughed so much in my life, but now my personality was changing little by little because of this man.

“You know…”

I quietly parted my lips.

“Hm?”

His stiff face grew surprised as he asked back.

“Should we go on a trip during summer break?”

It was a question with an obvious answer.

“I don’t know what my schedule will look like once I start my summer training.”

I recalled his warning that it might become difficult to see each other’s faces soon.

“Then let’s go when you have some free time, Oppa.”

Even though he wasn’t rejecting me because he didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but feel a bit depressed. When I was young, whenever I would suddenly lose my temper after being fine for a while, my grandmother would say the following words: Our Milhee’s temper is as fickle as boiling red bean porridge on market day. Even though I knew this, I tried to suppress my poor disposition and held back a sigh.

I turned my head to the window and watched the cars whiz by.

“I think this weekend will be okay. My coach will probably go on vacation around this time as well.”

He showed me the calendar on his cell phone and pointed to the Independence Day weekend.

“Really?”

My heart melted as if it had never been frozen in the first place.

“Yeah. I’ll try to take some time off then.”

“Sounds good.”

I started calculating the date of my expected period in my head, and based on my 28-day cycle, it was way off from when I expected my next period.

I was so happy I could die.

“Is there a place you want to go?”

“I want to go to Sokcho!”

He flashed me a crooked smile.

“Sokcho is too far. I’m only able to take time off for one night and two days, so I’ll just be driving the whole time.”

“Oppa, you know how to drive?”

I didn’t think he could drive since we came to the amusement park by bus.

“Yeah. Can’t you?”

“No, I can’t drive. In fact, I’m not good with anything that has wheels. I can’t even ride a bike.”

“What?”

His voice suddenly rose.

“You can’t ride a bike?”

“Be quiet.”

I covered his mouth with my hand and craned my neck to look at the other passengers. Fortunately, no one looked back.

“How can a road cyclist’s girlfriend not know how to ride a bike?!”

I couldn’t argue with my boyfriend. As a sociology major, how did I not know how to do a major social phenomenon? Unfortunately, he was smarter than me. I was someone who had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the various tutoring centers around the Junggye-dong bank intersection area.

“Then learn it from me. I’ll teach you.”

“If you do that, you’ll get scolded by my dad.”

His face grew stiff.

“My older brother tried to teach me how to ride a bike, and I fell over. My older brother got in a lot of trouble at the time.”

“He should have been scolded! Even now, you look like you’ll break a bone the moment you fall. If you had fallen when you were little, I can see how worried your father must have been! Don’t worry. You won’t fall if you’re with me. Absolutely not. I won’t let you get hurt.”

It was so cute to see a road cyclist bragging about teaching me how to ride a bike. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“That was your brother’s fault. He should have been watching you better.”

“Oppa.”

“Hm?”

I spoke in a frightening tone.

“My older brother graduated from our school’s business administration department.”

He looked at me with wide eyes.

“The one who gave you some pocket money back then?”

“Yeah. I only have one sibling, and he’s my older brother.”

“What’s his name?”

“Oh Hyunho.”

This time, his mouth fell open.

“Oh Hyunho? The Oh Hyunho who graduated at the top of his class in business administration last year?”

“Do you know each other?”

He nodded slightly.

“I’ve greeted him before.”

Business administration was a department with many double majors.

“Are you telling me this now as a way to tell me not to badmouth your older brother? Because he’s my sunbae?”

He frowned as he hit the nail on the head.

“Yeah.”

“You’re seriously…”

He laughed as he ruffled my bangs. I tightly hugged his thick arm.

“I get jealous whenever you talk about your older brother. Stop it now.”

I really liked the honest Gong Mujin.

“I feel the same way whenever Heesu talks about you, Oppa.”

I could feel his upper body grow tense. His already firm body grew even harder.

“Heesu… talked about me?”

“Yeah.”

“What did she say?”

“Just this and that.”

There was nothing that stood out in particular.

“I see.”

He muttered nonchalantly.

“Can I choose where we go for our trip?”

He suddenly asked in a bright voice.

“Okay.”

Actually, for me, it didn’t really matter where we went. What mattered was that it was happening during the days when I wouldn’t be having my period. That it was going to be two days and one night. And that I could be with him the whole time.

I didn’t know it then, but I was quite a cunning woman.