DWWWB Ch 2 part 2

“Sounds good to me.”

I answered without hesitation.

“I’ll reserve the tickets. How does this Saturday sound? If we want time to write the report, it’s best to see it as soon as possible. If we see it right before the due date, we won’t have enough time to write.”

“Yes, this week works for me.”

Even if it didn’t work, I’d make it work. I felt like I could make time out of nothing. Just thinking about sitting in a theater, just the two of us, and watching a play made my heart pound so hard that it hurt. Of course, there would be other audience members around us, but still.

“Nice. Let’s meet at the Hyehwa Station Exit 3 this Saturday at around 6:30. The play starts at 7.”

“Then would you like to meet a little earlier and grab dinner together?”

It took me a lot of courage to say that.

“I don’t think that’ll work for me.”

It felt as if my heart was being torn by his immediate rejection.

“I have training.”

“Ah, so you train on Saturdays, too.”

Sometimes I forget that he’s a road cyclist. His skin is pale, which seems uncharacteristic of someone who rides a bike on the road under the sun all day.

From my experience up until high school, my friends who played sports were not big on studying. There were some who worked hard to study foreign languages for competitions overseas. But overall, there was a terrible prejudice that athletes were far from intelligent.

“Death of a Salesman was written by Arthur Miller, an American playwright. He was Marilyn Monroe’s husband, and there’s a story that he married her not because he was in love with her but because he wanted to use her star power. It’s difficult to confirm whether that’s the truth or not, but when you look at the female characters in Arthur Miller’s plays, it makes some sense.

But he had a considerable depth of knowledge in various fields.

“How do you know all that?”

“I saw it on a documentary. When I’m training indoors, there are times when I get really bored. At times like that, I turn on a documentary and run.”

Although his answer was very humble, he read a lot of books, too.

“Is it your first time seeing this play?”

“It’s my first time seeing it performed, but I know the story. I read the play.”

He said he knew about the entire plot through a book published by the World Literature Collection. As a sociology major who was required to know many aspects of society, I was drawn by his intelligence.

“I should read the play before I see it, too.”

“Do you want me to lend you the book?”

Although it was a casual question, it was filled with kind consideration.

“Yes!”

“Do you have class tomorrow? I can bring it with me tomorrow.”

Meeting him once a week for class was a small source of pleasure. No, it was the sole source of joy in my life these days. Even if our relationship wasn’t anything special, it felt wholesome to regularly spend time with a good person.

“Yes, then do you want to grab lunch together tomorrow? I have 4th period free.”

“Sorry, I need to keep training.”

As if he felt awkward for having to reject me a second time, he started his rejection off with an apology.

“No, that’s okay! Then should I meet you in front of the gym?”

“Yeah. 4th period?”

“Yes, I’ll head over to the front of the gym during 4th period and call you.”

He gave me a lukewarm smile.

“Do you know my phone number?”

Come to think of it, we didn’t even know each other’s phone numbers.

“You can just give me your number now.”

I held my phone out to him. He looked at the background and burst into laughter. Even though his laugh was silent, I could feel its presence like the waves of the sea. The faint vibration of his smile reached my heart and made it throb.

“Pay for your happiness in advance and don’t regret it?”

It was a phrase in a photo that was set as my phone wallpaper.

“I wasn’t like this in high school, but lately I’ve been procrastinating when it comes to studying, so…”

“Where’s the quote from?”

“Me.”

He nodded his head as he dialed his number into my phone before pressing the call button. The phone that usually touched the side of my face was now touching the side of his.

“The call went through.”

He checked his phone that was in his other hand.

“0425. Are the final four numbers your birthday?”

“No, my birthday is November 11th.”

“It’s the day when my favorite number comes together.”

I guess his favorite number as an athlete is 1. He only said it was his favorite number, but my heart grew elated at his nuanced, roundabout compliment.

“What about you, Sunbae-nim?”

“What about me?”

“When is your birthday?”

“The last four digits of my phone number.”

I took the cell phone he handed back to me and checked the number. 0630. So his birthday was next month.”

“Ah, I see.”

We exchanged numbers and asked each other for our birthdays. We only knew a few more numbers than before, but the illusion of being closer grew exponentially.

“Call me.”

“Okay!”

I answered in a boisterous voice and left the classroom. A gentle breeze seemed to blow through my chest at the thought of meeting him again tomorrow.

The next day, the steady spring rain faintly smelled of dust. I was grateful for the rain because it washed away the severe cloud of fine dust that had been plaguing the air for a while now. However, I heard that the cherry blossoms would reach their peak over the weekend, and I was worried the rain would cause the buds to fall.

Because Mujin-sunbae and I had planned on meeting at Daehak-ro this weekend.

The thought of meeting him somewhere outside of school made my toes squirm. And now that I was in front of the gym, I felt that way now. I couldn’t sleep last night, wondering what he’d look like today.

I stopped in front of the gym and called him. He picked up the phone after a few rings as if he’d been waiting for my call.

— Are you here?

“Yes, I’m in front of the gym right now.”

— I’ll head out now.

His voice through his phone sounded ragged. Imagining him sweating as he worked his body to the limit, I suddenly felt a warmth rise up the back of my neck, causing my heart to pound.

Oh Milhee, think nice thoughts.

I didn’t even have the skill to vividly imagine such lewd scenes. I began to walk around to cool my feverish face.

“Milhee.”

I heard a friendly voice call out behind me.

Wasn’t this the first time… he was calling my first name by itself?”

It was as if my feet were floating. I felt like I could fly into the falling rain.

“Ah, Sunbae-nim. You came out so quickly.”

The moment I turned around towards the voice, a sudden gust of rainy wind blew down against me. The wind blew against my umbrella, and I lost my balance and began to stagger.

He came up to me in an instant and grabbed my backpack. I swayed like clothes fluttering on a hanger as I tried to regain my balance.

“Are you feeling sick?”

“No, the wind suddenly blew my umbrella.”

I whined as I blamed the wind.

“I don’t think so… Your face is red. Are you feeling feverish?”

He placed the back of his hand on my forehead. His warm hand was wet from the rain. I felt my heart stiffen and sink.

“I guess it’s because I walked over here from the main library.”

I wasn’t so weak that I would faint from walking from the main library to the gym, but I needed an excuse. While I was making up this lame excuse, he walked underneath my umbrella. He had no umbrella and only had a large towel with the school logo wrapped around his back.

He was wearing a sleeveless T-shirt and shorts. His skin was soaked with what could be sweat or rain. Whether it was because of the rain or because he was trapped under the umbrella, the humidity around us rose. The scent of his body seemed more sensual than usual.

“Should I put the book in your bag?”

“Yes.”

I was confused. My head was dizzy as if I were drunk on pheromones, and my heart raced. I held the umbrella handle so tightly that the umbrella began to tremble. He opened the zipper of my backpack and put a thin book inside.

“Do you have class during 5th period?”

He asked as he checked the digital watch on his wrist.

“Yes.”

“What are you going to eat for lunch?”

“Something like kimbap, I guess.”

My heart rate spiked again as I watched him draw in a deep breath.

Are you worried about my lunch?

“Don’t just eat one roll. Eat two. Look at your wrist…”

His gaze was fixed on my hand gripping the umbrella handle.

“You’re too skinny.”

My heart felt like it was going to burst due to the soft voice ringing inside the umbrella. But…

“Looks like I can snap it in half.”

I was taken aback by what he said.

“I think I just heard something really scary.”

“Eat well.”

He added quickly as he stepped out of the umbrella.

“You should go. I need to head back inside.”

He ran into the gym without looking back. I couldn’t move a single step until his back disappeared behind the curtain of transparent rain.

On Saturday evening, the area in front of Hyehwa Station Exit 3 was crowded with people. I must not have bundled up enough because I felt a chill. I closed the front of my cardigan and hunched my shoulders. The sun had not set yet when I left my house, so the temperature wasn’t as low as it was now.

I wore a pink chiffon dress with a white cardigan with gold buttons, transparent stockings, and beige heels. Instead of the blue backpack I always carried around school, I brought a palm-sized beige tote bag with gold chain straps.

As the sun began to set, the temperature gradually dropped. It quickly became a little too cold to endure the chill with the clothes I had carefully chosen to wear today. I shivered as I waited for him to come.

I hurried to the place where we agreed to meet because I was afraid I’d be late, but I arrived twenty minutes early. It was too late to wait in a cafe and sip on a warm drink.

As I looked down the stairs, I noticed a man in a black tracksuit in the crowd. I let out a hollow laugh. He looked exactly like he did at school. I felt embarrassed for dressing up so much.

“Sunbae-nim!”

Even though I called out in a soft voice, he quickly turned his head from looking down at the ground and looked up. He couldn’t find me and looked around.

“Over here!”

When his gaze almost reached the top of the stairs, it slowly moved to where I was standing. Suddenly, a man who was hurriedly climbing the stairs bumped into my shoulder as he passed by.

My body swayed, and my feet cramped in the stiff, new shoes, causing me to wobble.

“Are you alright?”

Mujin-sunbae came over to me and asked as he gently grabbed my elbow.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

My ankle slightly throbbed.

“Why is that guy just running into people and leaving without a word?”

His eyes were frighteningly cold as he stared in the direction where the man had disappeared.

“It’s okay. It’s my fault for standing at the exit during a crowded time.

His eyes, which had been looking into the distance, slowly turned to me. There was no longer any aggression in his gaze as he looked down. Only the corners of his eyes were slightly red as they examined me.

“I almost didn’t recognize you.”

He mumbled quietly as he walked with his hand on my elbow.

“Why not?”

I asked even though I knew the reason why. I had dressed up and taken great care of my appearance, completely different from how I was at school. I wanted him to say something nice, and my heart pounded with anticipation.

“Because your outfit is too…”

“…Too?”

I widened my eyes gleefully.

“Too different.”

The anticipation that had inflated like a balloon suddenly deflated.

“Because it’s the weekend.”

I retorted out a ridiculous reason. I was starting to feel a bit irritated. I guess I was in the wrong for expecting the word ‘pretty’ to come from a man who brought me a latte, was watching a play with me, lent me a book, felt my forehead to see if I was feeling warm, and worried about my lunch.

“I need to grab the tickets, so can you wait here for a moment?”

As we entered the theater lobby, he asked in a nonchalant voice. I nodded without saying a word. I watched him walk to the ticket booth, feeling a little annoyed.

Was I being mistaken just because he was being nice to me? Was he merely showing his good intention and taking care of a hoobae who was taking the same class as him?

My mood took a nosedive.

“Excuse me.”

I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even realize someone was next to me. It was a man in a black suit who looked to be in his early 30’s. He was tall and muscular, but he wasn’t better than Gong Mujin.

“I’m sorry for not seeing you at the subway station exit earlier. I was in a hurry because something urgent was going on, so I didn’t see you.”

I think he was the guy who ran into me a little while ago at the Hyehwa Station Exit 3.

“Ah, yes. That’s okay.”

I sprained my ankle for a moment, but it was fine now.

“You almost fell. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

I glanced at the booth where Gong Mujin was standing. He was receiving the tickets from a window clerk.

“Here’s my business card. If you ever need to go to the hospital, please contact me.”

The man kept repeating that he was truly sorry. I cautiously accepted the business card he handed me. He was a manager in the planning department of a large corporation that anyone in Korea would recognize.

“If you feel any discomfort at all, please contact me.”

“Yes, I’ll contact you if that is the case.”

The man looked relieved when I told him I’d contact him.

“What’s going on?”

A familiar yet slightly unfamiliar voice suddenly interrupted us. I quickly turned my head towards the cold voice that sounded different from his usual tone. Gong Mujin glared at the man with sharp eyes.

A large hand grabbed my wrist. His hand trembled as it held my wrist. The tremor reached my heart in an instant.

He stood in front of me and approached the man menacingly.

“I think I pushed your girlfriend at the subway station exit earlier. I apologized and was checking to see if she felt any discomfort.”

Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend…

The word that the man uttered echoed without end.

“You should have apologized and checked with her earlier.”

“I apologize to the boyfriend as well. I was in a hurry earlier because something urgent came up… I saw her here by coincidence, so I came here to check on her.”

Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend…

The word the man uttered echoed again.

“Do you feel unwell somewhere?”

He turned his head and asked.

“I’m fine. I sprained my ankle earlier, but it’s okay now. Like spraining it slightly while walking in heels. It wasn’t much. It’s fine now, look.”

I pretended to walk around, clicking my heels underneath my feet like a robot.

He turned his head to look down at me, and a faint smile appeared on his lips. He bit his lower lip as if he were trying to hold in his laughter.

I caught a glimpse of the man that was standing in front of us. His face seemed to say, ‘Are they serious?’ It seemed like he had completely misunderstood our situation. I didn’t want our relationship to be subtly influenced by someone else’s words like this.

“And this person isn’t my boyfriend. I’m not his girlfriend either. I will contact you later if I’m feeling unwell. Thank you for your concern. Goodbye.”

I bowed as if I were a customer service representative. The man’s face twitched. Today, two men held back their laughter in front of me. I guess I have a knack for making people laugh at the most ridiculous moments. At this rate, I should have studied comedy instead of sociology.

The man seemed to think it was now an appropriate time to step away, so he bowed like me and turned around.

I looked up at the man who was still holding my wrist.

“Did you get the tickets?”

“Yeah.”

A chill seemed to drip from his answer. I don’t know why the temperature suddenly dropped so much. Wasn’t he just trying to hold in his laughter when I showed him how I walked step by step?

Suddenly, an announcement rang in the air, indicating the play would start in fifteen minutes.

“Let’s head inside.”

His hand that had been holding my wrist pulled away. My wrist now felt cold because he had been holding it so tightly.

The play ended at 10 PM. Late at night, the Hyehwa Station area was packed with people pouring out of the theater. As I was being pushed around, a large hand grabbed my shoulder.

“Come here.”

My heart throbbed at his low whisper. He pulled my shoulders into his large arms and hugged me. The temperature had dropped significantly since. His body temperature that was transmitting through my collar was warm. He walked with my shoulders in his arms until we reached a relatively quiet alleyway.

“Want me to catch you a taxi?”

He asked.

“Where do you live?”

Come to think of it, we didn’t even know where the other person lived.

“In Junggye-dong. I can take Line 4 and transfer to a bus. Or I can take a bus, but it will go around for a bit.”

“It’s late. Take a taxi.”

My breath caught. I couldn’t figure out what his concern meant.

Should I confess? He’ll probably reject me too, right? But he’s being so nice to me.

A sigh escaped me as if the ground was collapsing underneath my feet.

“What’s wrong?”

He asked in a concerned voice.

“I guess the theater was a bit stuffy. I’ll walk around a bit before I go. Go home first. And give me your bank account number. I’ll send you the money for the ticket. Goodbye.”

The moment I was about to take a step, he grabbed my wrist.

“Where are you going to walk at this time of night?”

“Well, there’s Naksan Park right over there…”

“Fine, let’s go. Let’s go together.”

There was a hint of annoyance in his tone. I grew irritated. I had no idea what was going on. He had a tendency to confuse people, acting like he liked me and then being indifferent a little while later, and then being kind when I finally let go of my attachment.

We walked through Naksan Park in silence. The night view of Seoul unfolded beneath the city walls that had been built hundreds of years ago. Due to my new shoes, my heels began to hurt a bit. I felt my chest sting for no particular reason. My pace gradually slowed down.

“I heard every human being wears a mask.”

I looked down the wall and spoke quietly. He listened without saying anything.

“It’s not anything like a mental illness or some kind of sickness, but there are cases where people unconsciously wear masks in their daily lives. A good student, a devoted housewife, a hard worker… But they say these people are anxious that their true selves hidden behind the mask will be revealed.”

“Willie wore a mask, too.”

Willie was a character in Death of a Salesman, and Sunbae’s thoughts were in line with mine.

“He wore the mask of a successful salesman and forced his son to wear a mask too. He pretended to be well off, to be okay.”

“When his incompetence was revealed and he was fired, the mask was taken away, so he chose death. He probably couldn’t bear it. His anxiety became his reality.”

Same as me. I could feel my anxiety growing uncontrollably.

“His son Biff was the same way. He became crooked the moment his honest father’s mask was removed. But maybe his own mask of being a good student came off before then. Maybe that’s when things started going wrong.”

“I guess the moment when a mask I put on to become who I want to be is taken off, it’s just that scary.”

I took a moment to catch my breath and continued.

“I feel like I have to do that scary thing right now.”

“Huh?”

He stopped walking first. I also stopped following him. The eyes that looked down at me were so dark that I couldn’t read the emotions behind them.

“I’ve been wearing the mask of being a good hoobae all this time. I’m not usually that nice. I don’t do things like buy a latte just because I’m taking a class with a sunbae whose phone number I don’t even know.”

I became even more anxious because there was no response. But I couldn’t take back the words that had already been said.

“I think I like you, Sunbae.”