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    In my defense, I didn’t have time for a long explanation, nor was this the right place.

     

    And I couldn’t think of a sentence that would clear up all the misunderstandings.

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    Evan’s misunderstanding, Adrian’s interpretation. When I said it, their reactions were mixed. 

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    Adrian was happy, and Evan was like…

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    ‘Hmm… what was that look?’

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    I wondered why Evan was so good at showing his emotions on his face, but I couldn’t read his mind.

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    It was neither happy nor sad. If I had to define it, it was more like negative.

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    Not that I expected him to be jumping for joy, but I thought he’d be relieved not to have to fight.

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    Now that Evan knew I was Adrian’s friend, was he trying to keep his distance?

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    Or did he realize that all that fighting and getting hurt was for nothing? Or maybe he’s angry because he thinks I’ve been manipulative and deceitful?

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    The longer Evan’s silence lengthened, the more pessimistic my imagination became.

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    Glancing up at him, I realized he still didn’t meet my eyes.

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    ‘That felt weird.’ 

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    After all, I was the one who tried to push him away, and now?

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    I’d offered to heal him, but a tinge of regret creeps in, wondering if I should have known it would be so awkward.

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    ‘Should I have just followed Adrian?’ 

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    Adrian had let me go right after my mediation because he was busy with things at the Tower.

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    He seemed a little peeved that I’d forced him to go when he didn’t want to, but a Master’s got to do what a Master’s got to do.

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    Adrian, who was sulking, told me that we had to go to the Crystal Chamber to stop the monster, so I told him all about Evan’s divine powers.

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    Quietly, of course, so Evan wouldn’t hear.

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    ‘Don’t worry, it’s okay if you stay with Evan, I’ll tell you the details later.’

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    ‘…’

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    His eyes turned uneasy, but there was no excuse for him to stay, so he left the conference room with a word that he would send someone.

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    And with that, Adrian was gone, and we didn’t speak a word. No, we didn’t.

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    There was no end in sight to the time when no one spoke, and eventually I, the one who couldn’t stand it the most, spoke up.

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    “Um, hey…”

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    Clearing my throat, my voice sounded awkward in the silence.

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    It’s awkward to say, but I have no other choice. If we don’t talk about it, it could lead to unnecessary misunderstandings like the one we have now.

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    First, I need to hear what they have to say about the assumptions I’ve made.

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    “You fought to save me, right?”

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    “…”

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    No answer, but silence means yes, right?

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    “Thank you.”

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    Evan raised his bowed head.

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    The shade had lifted from his face, unlike what I’d feared would happen if it continued to rain.

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    It was a relief to see his sunken eyes light up and his face brighten. I wasn’t sure whether to start with an apology or a thank you, but I guess it worked.

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    Now that I’ve thanked him, here goes…

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    “I wasn’t really trying to get away from Adrian, but the circumstances made it look like I was… and I’m sorry you got hurt trying to help me…”

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    He started to apologize, but Evan, who hadn’t said a word until now, spoke up.

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    “No, don’t. Don’t apologize.”

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    Surprised, I didn’t expect him to say this.

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    “Why?”

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    I couldn’t help but ask.

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    Evan’s answer was so firm.

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    “Because it’s what I want to do.”

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    Rowan’s eyes were filled with a look that said, ‘That guy…’

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    Evan’s blue eyes never wavered. To my relief, he didn’t seem to feel betrayed by me.

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    Still, I wanted to apologize apart from that.

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    “I’m so sorry I… Oh, I see.”

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    Evan’s expression began to regain the shade it had lost.

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    ‘Ugh, it’s getting dark.’ 

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    Checking his mood, I hastily changed the subject.

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    “Then I won’t apologize, but please accept my thanks.”

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    “Okay.”

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    As I watched his face brighten, I suddenly realized that it was okay.

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    ‘He’s kind of cute.’ 

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    There’s an innocence about Evan that I’ve always sensed, but never found in my friends that I had to search hard to find.

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    At this point, it’s time to admit that it’s not easy to push him away.

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    Not ‘not easy’, but ‘I don’t want to push him away.’ 

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    For some reason, it was hard to be negative towards him after all the hurtful things I’d said and things that had happened, but he kept showing me a favor.

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    ‘Yeah, Evan made a mistake.’

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    That doesn’t mean I’m going to hang out with him.

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    There’s still an insurmountable wall between him and me, the wall of being friends with the dark villains. At least I could encourage his dreams.

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    Besides, there are a lot of things I’ve said to him that I’ve tried to draw the line at.

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    It’s not like I’m going to suddenly reverse my attitude.

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    Who knows if Evan still wants to be with me or not?

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    As I was thinking about all this, I looked at Evan and noticed a strand of hair sticking out the side of his face.

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    Involuntarily, I lifted my hand to tidy it up and then pulled it back down.

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    ‘Oops, I didn’t mean to. I shouldn’t do that, it’s like I’m trying to be too friendly.’

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    Evan’s gaze slid down to my hand. I thought I was mistaken, he looked a little wistful.

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    He quickly composes himself and pulls away with difficulty.

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    “I need to ask you something.”

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    “Sure, feel free to ask.”

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    “Is it true? When you said you were friends…”

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    “With Adrian?”

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    “Yes, with… him… with the Master…”

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    I nodded.

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    “You might not believe it, but it’s true. We were friends before he became the Master, and I haven’t seen him since he became the Master of the tower because I’ve been… sick.”

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    For a moment, I wondered what I could say to explain why I hadn’t seen him for so long, so I told him as briefly as I could.

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    “I see…”

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    Evan nodded, but he didn’t seem to like it.

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    The next question would be, if he was a friend, why did he forcibly capture me?

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    Anyway, his question came out of nowhere, breaking my expectation that we would talk about an unintentional misunderstanding.

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    “Even after what he did?”

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    “What?”

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    It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement of unguarded sincerity.

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    When our eyes met, I could see Evan’s fluttering pupils.

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    “The… earrings.”

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    “Uh…”

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    Evan hesitated for a moment, then spoke with determination.

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    I hadn’t expected him to be so blunt. At my stunned expression, Evan looked and sounded concerned.

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    “Do you have any idea what kind of magic is involved?”

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    How could I not know if I’d gotten it directly from Adrian?

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    “Of course.”

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    Even if using this magic would leave me dead, even if I knew I shouldn’t.

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    Still, the things I could never give up made me this way.

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    ‘It’s a product of my greed, but…’ 

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    All the things I wanted to accomplish, even if it meant failing.

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    To be strong, to escape, to survive, to stop the war from happening.

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    ‘No, there’s still time to fix it.’ 

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    And even if it was corrupt magic, I don’t think it was Adrian’s fault. Rather, I feel sorry for him.

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    But I hadn’t thought about how it would look to others.

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    “Did he force you to take it…”

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    “No.”

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    “Are you sure?”

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    “I know the misunderstanding.”

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    “Misunderstanding?”

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    If greed was a sin, then of course I should take all the punishment.

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    So any misunderstanding Adrian has or might receive should be my responsibility to clear up, no matter what.

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    Even if I have to let go of that desire, because his concession belongs to me now.

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    “Yeah, I got it because I wanted it.”

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    The words were meant to reassure Evan, but he just looked sad.

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    “…Bella, are you sure you know what’s happening to you?”

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    “You mean my heart isn’t beating?”

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    “…”

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    “Of course, I didn’t want this to happen, it’s just a side effect. Thanks for your concern, but I’m really fine.”

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    “Why, why did you have to…!”

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    Rowan, who had been looking away, seemingly uninterested in Evan’s rising tone, turned his head in our direction.

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    Before answering, I smiled.

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    To make my words sound credible and confident.

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    “Because I can’t let anyone die, not me, not anyone around me.”

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    So that not an ounce of sadness could be detected.

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    “…”

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    “It was the best thing I could do, because I wanted to keep everyone alive.”

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    It was the only way I could become stronger, not having the amount of mana I was born with.

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