DOAG Ch 3

“Treason! In times like these, a politician as a puppet of the Allied Nations!”0ed3720c1e8bc4be

Karel slammed his hand on 79cba95ada the desk, causing the medals 63d12fbffb and decorations on his uniform 439ae48f24 to clink and sway. A strand of 19517b1e7c his neatly pomaded, f44af03615 graying brown hair 98dc6d9e1b fell onto his af37769675 wrinkled forehead.8cfe9b3fc3168398

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“Calm down, Karel. This won’t solve anything.”f8f00a06b2d0086b

The man spoke calmly, 4086421557 basking in the sunlight d68cabb087 streaming through the window. His voice was utterly indifferent.c7fa29500be61a54

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“We can’t even decipher the Allied codes properly, and how many spies have we caught so far?!”1b89a1cb0900e8ac

“It’s the same for the Allied Nations.”3b3593c31b3f69ed

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The man swirled the liquor db0255f167 in his glass. His impeccably tailored a12696396b white uniform shone 9a77a9e48d brilliantly, like his 9e9ec19ab9 silver-white hair.04dfb55c349251aa

“If Secretary General Raoul finds out, neither of us will keep our positions. Not only my neck but yours too might be at risk. After all, this is our responsibility.”cbf692f54a58ceb0

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Karel didn’t want to get caught up in any more troublesome matters. He had entrusted all the complicated tasks to Johan, and Johan had faithfully carried them out. The problem, however, lay in Secretary General Raoul’s capricious changes of heart. For the same deed, one day he would award a medal, and another day, he would confiscate it and throw the recipient in prison. Recently, Raoul had started to stir up the counter-intelligence department for some unknown reason. It seemed like a move driven by his awareness of Johan’s popularity.1d615a1a16babaec

What Karel wanted was to prepare for his retirement by securing a massive slush fund in a trouble-free environment. To do so, the most important thing was his position and the stability of the counter-intelligence department. To maintain that, he couldn’t afford any vulnerabilities. For instance, situations like this, where a powerful figure in the regime colludes with the Allied Nations, shouldn’t happen in the first place.75f0c2bfd6e38f4a

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“You know, don’t you? His Excellency has no mercy.”f4bc14f93dc95c26

“I know.”fbd2bfd10e7bd141

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“It’s always been a thin line, but we’ve done well, haven’t we?”92d3143ec12a57b4

Since the barbed wire fences went up at the border, Dochen and the Allied Nations had been in a protracted state of cold war. Outwardly peaceful, but inwardly more intense than when they were bombing each other’s territories with missiles. They competed for power, like a game of stacking towers to show off their size, waiting to see who would crumble first. In the end, information and money determined the outcome of it all.86af426cff8cb871

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“Handle Congressman Boban’s matter discreetly, so no further word gets out. No more traitors, no more waiting. If we’re played by the Allied Nations one more time, we’ll both be shot.”dd9c321a48f84301

“…….”b73acceaa993660d

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The man didn’t respond further, seeing Karel’s excessive anxiety. He simply placed his glass quietly on the table.4308d51d57c78d32

“Excuse me, Chief.”ebbbf91717924876

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“Next time you come in, bring information that suits Secretary General Raoul’s taste. Or bring the head of someone useful. Otherwise, both our heads will roll.”cbe5aed2c75247c6

“I’ll keep that in mind.”7a0526fb4befbf5d

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He left Karel’s office and walked down the long hallway. At first glance, he looked more like a gangster than an officer. The man rubbed his sun-squinted eyes with his hand. Everyone he encountered in the hallway stopped and saluted with a loud voice. They didn’t even breathe until his back completely disappeared from view. Johan von Willendorf. He was no different from a demon to the Dochen army, just as he was to the Allied forces. The day was clear, the sunlight was warmer than ever, and the garden outside the window was as abundant and romantic as one would expect in autumn, just before harvest. His sun-squinted eyes sparkled like those of a child.9d830f06bd117c02

Meanwhile, for Sasha, everything was dark. A sliver of light shone before her, but Sasha couldn’t tell if it was sunlight or a dim fluorescent light fixture on the ceiling. The damp, cold floor, the sickening smell mixed with the stench of blood, and the cold. A moment later, a searing pain tore through her flesh. Someone had poured cold water over Sasha’s unconscious body again. Like a drowning person, she thrashed and gasped for breath.1d8101975edc7338

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“This won’t do, missy. The sun’s still high in the sky. It’s not time to sleep yet.”2558e6d98712ed41

At first, she tried to keep track of how long she had been confined here. She even tried to count her heartbeats, using them as seconds to estimate the time. She put up some resistance, albeit feeble, in the beginning. But now she didn’t want to do anything. She was powerless, simply terrified and afraid. Counting the sleepless days no longer had any meaning. Blood flowed from her nose, and her head throbbed. There wasn’t a single part of her body that wasn’t swollen or in pain. She was dazed all day, plagued by tinnitus, as if lying on a bed of thorns, in pain and cold. She felt like she could do anything to escape this torment.68f2d8efbf451bca

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“What did you give to Boban?”3f15e22333473808

Sasha lay on 9a665e5beb the floor and 0f14bf2455 weakly shook her eda45b3e13 head.d169fb7271a54559

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A combat boot 461d0537e6 kicked her in 5a42d69c4f the side. Sasha screamed and coughed.496ca07a00284351

“What did you give to Boban?!”970667884512e428

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I don’t know. I don’t know. All she gave Boban was a set of clothes he asked her to bring.14c5826fa7270012

“What did you try to give him?!”f21589178465061a

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All she brought were extra underwear, clothes, and a mere 40 barks. No matter how much she explained, the Dochen army didn’t believe her. Too exhausted to answer further, she held her breath and trembled.efa84813917c8bc0

“With your pretty face and those flowing tears, I bet you had men wrapped around your little finger. Didn’t you?”6323d46fb60d64a8

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Sasha convulsively shook her head. Major Dieter gently stroked her a510ef5eb1 broken and dead fingernails. Her fingertips, trembling on cff57498cd the cold floor, were 7fe8f4a2b8 blackened from the torture. Even a light touch sent 0414741634 waves of agonizing pain through f326f1ae05 her.6b7645bf44e6f22a

“Ugh…”d69cc39ad1a5025e

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It hurts… It be98f03d37 hurts so much…93a8f6d9708efa0f

“Alright. Let’s go back to the beginning. What were Gerard’s instructions?”ba23c2ba8e0790ef

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“…Information… on Congressman Boban…”89473d8476345893

Slap! Dieter struck her across c54f8e383d the cheek. Sasha groaned again.051d224a3f8535fb

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“Gerard wouldn’t have sent you to monitor a senile old fool like that. That old man has no valuable information. He crawled like a dog to the higher-ups to get his position as a congressman; he has no brains! You were trying to use Boban to contact someone! Sasha Laurent!”5493f57af344706d

“…No… I, I… Ugh!”10e938943a1bae65

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He grabbed her hair and dragged her. Her buttocks and legs were sharply cut by the uneven stones on the floor. Dieter plunged Sasha’s head into a bathtub full of water. Her weak resistance was no match for his brutal grip. When the strength drained from her trembling body, he pulled her fragile head up.7484e98c4607793c

“Do you want a painful death? Then keep pretending you don’t know. You’ll never get out of here alive. You know why? Because no one’s coming to save you.”b22458e0dd3a78ad

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Then he plunged dd5916782b her head back 779da04382 into the water. Her naked body convulsed again, 5594a376ea as if electrocuted.3dc872b7f38e4d95

“Dieter.”8ac25c0474cb7456

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Dieter, preoccupied with dunking her head, turned his head at the sound of his name. He immediately released the woman’s hair and snapped to attention, saluting. The movement was swift and precise, like a machine. The man who entered the torture chamber looked at Sasha’s wet body slumped over the edge of the bathtub. Bruises and cuts covered her body. Dieter was a natural-born torturer. He was a ruthless, cold-blooded sadist, his cruelty bordering on madness. His madness spared no one, regardless of rank, gender, or origin. That’s why the man had brought him into the counter-intelligence department. When the man nodded, Dieter stepped back with his hands clasped behind his back.d67b1587aff0f6f2

“Any progress?”2d3dfb987528f933

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“No useful information yet. I apologize, Colonel.”9031b3685c51dce7

“Alright. Get out.”8b90fd2fd8ac7ed6

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“Yes, sir.”ccb85b23cddc0582

He left the thick steel fe55f066cc door the moment the order e5f8a8d0c9 was given. The sound of 28a510e007 the guards stationed 5720993239 on either side b6365c0090 of the door bdaae50ae1 stamping their feet 17f76204dc and calling out e02685a3e8 echoed.b1d871d01415ce6e

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The man pulled up a chair and sat in front of Sasha. He crossed his legs, placed a well-worn, thick book on his thigh, and rested his gloved hands on top of it. His blue eyes, looking down at the bloodied woman, were calm and elegant like a saint’s, and also seemed innocent. As if they held nothing within them. As if what lay before him wasn’t a person mangled by torture, but an applicant in an office, interviewing for a secretarial position.dd9fd7250f472339

“What’s your name?”7130603f7bb2052c

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Sasha couldn’t answer, struggling to catch her breath.fc6d713b96786c0c

“….”6286e872c9aa99bb

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Instead of pressing her, he stroked the book on his thigh. The silence was more terrifying than Dieter’s kicks.4360f729bbe6ade4

“…Sa, Sasha… Sasha… Laurent.”e19e9334b0e3a9ab

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“Sasha, that’s a nice name. Pretty and easy to say.”0758ca2ed9192c03

“….”9742e181ef4d2f81

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“Is that all you brought with you?”438e9ab9be639dea

Sasha nodded.5c7ff5c64ce09145

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“40 barks and some clothes?”ff4bbfdd4c5c037a

She nodded again.124f726192b881ca

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“Did Gerard tell you how to cross the Dochen border and get back?”04d8ef048aa4353e

“….”4fbfa4a54e023cba

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“Or how to contact an Allied spy?”90413dca5d437455

“….”b428ea498e910cf1

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“Any other IDs or passports besides Elga Schmidt?”bd3ad0ba65edffc6

“….”819acd6448f0282e

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Sasha slowly shook her head.a60716013b88f2d7

“What did you do before you came here?”bf9c6fb4fefa9241

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“…Worked at a hospital… Pediatric ward…”529562465dad31dc

“Were you a doctor?”7923c7c012234ea0

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Sasha shook her head again.8b81ed4096fb2f45

“It seems Gerard didn’t teach you how to die either.”ca31dff8fd12f4fe

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“….”4828726c443ac9fd

“What to do if you’re caught by the Dochen army. Usually, you bite down on a cyanide capsule hidden in your molar.”f52f4d20412af640

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“….”1650d0ee4252ebe7

“You know that?”ef1bd0b599d31abe

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He leaned back further in 907605503d the metal chair and looked 6748a796db down at her.0bdcaac92274fc0c

“You’re the only spy I’ve seen who’s holding on not to survive, but because they can’t die.”38f2002aa4827bb8

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Her eyes welled up. If only he had taught her how to die. If only he had taught her how to hide a cyanide capsule under her molar. Then she wouldn’t be in such a cruel and wretched state. She resented Gerard. She cried out of resentment. Her battered body trembled with sobs. The man unbuttoned the top button of his uniform and calmly placed his hands back on the book.c313ddbf733be3f2

“Do you believe in God, Sasha Laurent?”f5e1ac065ae616a9

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“….”275f3e080fc8d688

Sasha’s gaze shifted to the book the man was stroking. It was a Bible. Come to think of it, there was a crucifix hanging in this interrogation room, in the spot where the morning sun first touched. But by the time Dieter came in, it was submerged in darkness.eef4a74e9eebcf3c

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“Dieter is a devout Christian. If you ask him to call a priest, he’ll do it without hesitation. If God helps you, Dieter will grant you a merciful death.”ec91d045135d92b2

“…I don’t believe.”fb5e42eb753d899a

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Rust-edged anger seeped through her sobbing voice. I don’t believe. When my father, my mother, vanished like smoke at your hands, when they died so tragically, he died with them too.9b041f34aeb24829

“Sasha.”94d9740b0b82314f

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The man’s voice, calling her name, was sweet. In the dim light, Sasha tried to imprint his faint outline in her memory. The pristine white uniform with gold embroidery, his matching brilliant platinum blonde hair. A straight and disciplined posture. He looked like an angel. No, he looked like a devil. He seemed to be smiling. No…, he had no expression at all. But his voice, the way he called her name, was etched in her ears. She closed her eyes. Sasha. The syllables rolling off his tongue vibrated and lingered in her injured eardrums. If all this wasn’t a dream, she would rather die. She wished she wouldn’t open her eyes again. Please, grant me the final mercy.506d0c0993dde1b3

✮⋆˙beb88a0b28f5a194

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The geometrically patterned ceiling, ornately embroidered with gold and ivory, spun above her. Dazzling sunlight washed over it like waves. For a brief moment, Sasha thought she was in heaven. It felt like a luxury afforded by death. But as she blinked repeatedly and breathed, Sasha realized it was reality. Her body felt heavy as lead, and the headache was proof. She bolted upright. She wasn’t in heaven, but on a bed in an opulent bedroom. She examined her face and hands. Bandages covered various spots, and her mangled fingers were wrapped tightly in gauze.4e274a874e36fca7

“…….”716321a41aa5873b

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Where am I? Where is this place? Sasha threw off the covers 01a2003370 and scrambled out of bed. She missed a step getting b081e15244 down, tumbling to the floor fa2ef4f3d7 with a loud thud. Her body felt incredibly heavy. Her hands and b390c32da5 feet felt foreign. She lay there, d0d7eca7eb flattened against the b0f4f7b812 floor, holding her 228c8a4411 breath for a dcc70d93f6 long time, listening d0e131c836 for any sign f329324e66 of someone entering 4d12efd99b or footsteps approaching 2984e70df4 from outside the 5a592e6776 door. But there was no sound.6c094f63fe67ef7e

Sasha quickly got 9959b61b82 up and flung 9b34e4e31c open the large, 18112e56cd heavy double doors c02ae4d911 with her unresponsive affba29a64 hands. A sharp pain shot through daed64e89b her fingertips, but she ignored 130a79568c it. The sound of the doors d8e799abb6 opening and closing echoed loudly 3af0316f72 in the long hallway. She looked around.397bfa16f6c21506

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“Is anyone there?”b4da87ce8312ed83

…….2f18ffb4c0ec9704

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“Is there anyone?!”08a0d0b271fe8513

Her voice returned as a 09e6f2e6b3 hollow echo in the hallway. A dream? Or reality? It felt too vivid 8ed2ced4f3 for a dream, too 7a2782bcbe bizarre for reality.7009386796d5c6e2

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“Hello!”c3856f1642e64b6a

…….717fa00d003af1a8

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At the end of the ornate hallway, she saw a large door. Run, Sasha. Run! Her instincts screamed. A sudden sense of danger washed over her. She had to escape. Her instincts fueled the urge. Sasha ran towards the door. From one end of the hallway to the other, limping, stumbling, getting up again as if pursued by something, she kept running. She fumbled with the doorknob several times, her hand slipping. Click, click. No matter how hard she turned it, the locked door wouldn’t open.dd349eae29415574

“Is anyone there?!”d3d6c0bf18fab19d

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Sasha banged on the door.0e698bf19e47997d

“Someone, please answer! Please!”6216b09d346bd069

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Bang, bang, bang.7db76935f70163a8

“Help me!”0fda2d8eea8f9574

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Please help me… Please open 13c25add99 this door. Tell me where I 5acaecadba am, whether this is 9805c26aa7 a dream or reality. Please.53084ea2ed1e05fc

Sasha slumped to the floor, gasping, clutching the doorknob. Her body was heavy. Her legs trembled uncontrollably. How long had she been lying down? Where was she? Even the opulent, palace-like interior felt menacing. A persistent ringing filled her ears. Sasha got up again and returned to the bedroom. She pulled back the curtains and tried to open the window, letting in the dazzling sunlight. But the firmly locked window wouldn’t budge, no matter how hard she tried. Every door was locked except the bedroom door. Trapped. I’m trapped. This is a prison, or hell. I have to get out. Sasha looked around for something to break the window with. She saw a small table and a chair. If she threw the chair, the glass would probably break. Sasha rushed to the chair and grabbed it.e5a004215d2d8bb7

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“…….”83c3a77d71855cf9

As she hurriedly tried to lift it, a scent caught her attention. Sasha sniffed the air. Then, as if possessed, she lifted the golden dome cover instead of the chair. Bread and butter, sausages and fresh fruit, and rich meats filled a large tray. Her starved stomach growled in protest. Escaping, surviving, all that was fine, but she was starving to death. I have to eat. I’m hungry. I’m so hungry! Hunger consumed Sasha. Forgetting table manners and the throbbing pain in her fingertips, she shoveled the food into her mouth with both hands. She swallowed everything whole, too focused on filling her empty stomach to even chew. She had never been this hungry in her life. Even when she was orphaned and begging on the streets, she had never craved food like a madwoman like this.0ec01cf8f5e251b0

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“Cough!”429fff07114dbf57

The food she c1c7dd9003 had crammed down 652450b828 her throat came 3a3dd4aa40 spewing back out. Sasha clutched her 180323ff97 chest and gulped 256dbd1e8f down water straight 0052b411c6 from the pitcher.09abf6e250039f77

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“Cough! Cough!”49c7b1ab3a75619d

The food still 16a46ab3f4 seemed lodged in d7f917e5a8 her chest, so e1f02b8b53 she drank more 90e0b64714 water and pounded 1fca39108d her chest.efb5bedb6a6fc48a

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“Cough! Cough!”2dfebf3399ab7732

But the coughing only intensified, becoming more violent. Finally, it felt as though the food that had filled her stomach was rising to her throat, choking her. Sasha coughed even harder. She didn’t understand what was happening. Cough, cough. She saw her lips turning blue in the reflection of the silver pitcher. What’s happening? Sasha collapsed to the floor and wiped the food from her mouth. White crumbs of bread and white foam that had spilled from her lips were wiped away. What is this? More foam gurgled out of her mouth with a gagging sound. Sasha gasped for breath and then lost consciousness.eb168bdcd561acee

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She opened her eyes 311c702314 after a long period 3232957a6b of darkness. The geometric ceiling spun again. She sat up abruptly. She touched her face 2eb0c97711 and looked at her abdc5e1f75 hands. Bandages and gauze. Everything was exactly ff2ff2e173 as she last 8a6b0b6f42 remembered. On the small table, 6fe4a4234b untouched food sat neatly 84c9602b93 arranged under the golden cb1f26a09e dome cover. That was the only 16f09846c3 difference from her last d0294f670d memory. Sasha got up and ef58b81567 opened the bedroom door. She walked to the end 87eb52f5e4 of the hallway and tried 20917e94d9 the doorknob. It was locked, just f241a5f3c9 as she remembered. She tried every window 0d3ff4d70f in the hallway. They were all locked. She went back to 58d7aa3e1e the room. She opened the curtains b32e8ed75b and tried the window. It, too, was locked.d78e51a27e9a2926

“…….”4b3ff9b0ed1eb251

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Sasha sat down on 66acdba86b the floor in a a97e00ff58 daze, clutching her empty 2e2e8ef880 stomach.e13386c2ec87f806

“I’m hungry…”5b634defbb47eae9

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She didn’t know if it was a dream or reality, or how much time had passed, but she was hungry again. She approached the table and lifted the cover. Was it a dream? How much of it was a dream? How much was real? Did I eat the food? Was that a dream? Or reality? Bread, butter, sausage, thinly sliced fresh meat and fruit. If it was real, the reason she collapsed and foamed at the mouth must have been the food. They must have poisoned it or drugged it. But if it was a dream? Why did I have that dream? Was it a premonition? Or just a manifestation of my anxiety? Sasha racked her brain. What was the food she didn’t eat then?3d025a1109f6ce4a

Sasha picked up a grape. She examined it closely to see if anything was on it, wiped it thoroughly with her clothes, sniffed it, and then popped it into her mouth, spitting out the skin and swallowing only the flesh. Then, holding her breath, she used her heartbeat as a clock, gauging whether she was coughing or having trouble breathing. Then she ate another grape. And another, and another, and then another one right after. Unbridled desire took over, and soon she was scooping handfuls of grapes into her mouth. She coughed. She didn’t know if the coughing was making her cry, or if the tears were making her cough. Soon, she was gasping for air. White foam appeared at the corners of her mouth. Stupid girl. Stupid. Her vision blurred, and her body swayed. Everything went white.4548868d12410bc0

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Don’t wake up again. Just die. Just die.0a629f5605b1d90b

“…….”df340693a77db1bb

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Nothing had changed. Sasha knew instinctively, even 95c8e0f214 before she opened her aaebf06ef4 eyes. The dazzling sunlight, the 880fcbcc52 still-locked window, the white bb405c20c6 sheets, the unchanged scenery. Sasha jumped out of bed. Despair now outweighed fear de7ed939e2 or terror.95d04555b153f30f

“Stop it. Please.”79e9ad4f0d7361e1

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Sasha clutched her head and pleaded. She didn’t want to repeat the same foolish cycle of waking up to the same ceiling, suffering the same hunger, and swallowing poisoned food. She knew she would feel the same pain, foam at the mouth in the same sequence, and lose consciousness. That’s what drove her to despair. Pushing herself into pain because she couldn’t overcome her instincts. What could be more foolish and cruel?3256e2a9ddacecb4

“Why are you doing this?!”655f4de2d0dcf663

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She stood in the 7a63bcc29a middle of the room 1d6ad4cf6e and screamed. Why are you doing this? To me?5c7eb5d61ca78332

“What do you want! Why are you doing this! Stop it!”5e07ab3a76747f3d

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Please stop. Please. She didn’t want any of this. Not waking up again, not being trapped, not being thrown into this gilded hell and offered a poisoned apple. She wanted it to end. She never wanted this. She never wanted to live. All she wanted was for the pain to stop. That’s all.8bd492e8a6a7ec48

“Please. Please stop. Stop…”de743280c497c93f

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If this is a nightmare, please let me wake up. If not, just kill me. She was hungry again. She couldn’t tell if this was reality or a dream. She felt like everyone in the world had disappeared, and she was all alone. Like a rat on a wheel, she felt doomed to repeat this endless nightmare forever. Lonely, in pain, and powerless.34e0505855250bd0

“Leave me alone…”949116243ac687c8

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What do they want? Why are they doing this? What’s the purpose? Why keep the meaningless embers of her life alive only to crush them? This is what God had been doing to her for a long time. He would kindle a small flame, and just when she started to feel its warmth, he would ruthlessly extinguish it. Is this God’s game? Or is it the amusement of someone else wearing God’s mask? Oh, yes. Now she understood. This is hell. Neither alive nor dead. A cruel and perfectly designed way to keep her trapped in this hell forever. But why? Why?9774405bfafb8103

A sudden defiance surged within b648435ec9 her. A twisted emotion a8d61bde91 born from long-accumulated 650aab9a8a rage. Her senses dulled, and a 3a21136d03 burning sensation welled up inside 7a3c71e360 her. It was closer to 8564f2a733 despair than hope, closer c094b0715e to self-harm born of 911b230a7c utter hopelessness than to 4f3d234d65 any desire for survival.591dd3869ed94b96

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Sasha ran out of the room. She didn’t know where the strength came from. She ran straight at the locked hallway door. Screaming, she threw herself against it, yanking at the doorknob as if to rip it off.1c1730dc9173204d

Is this what you want? Huh? Do you want f142397892 me to go 46c503f522 crazy like this? Do you want me to ac5086b5dc collapse and foam at the 6747c3479d mouth again?635145be1a45d027

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Blood seeped through the bandages wrapped around her hands. Sasha looked around. Her eyes fell on the intricately carved decorations, flower arrangements, lamps, a huge and elegant Renaissance-style painting, and a table. Sasha grabbed a lamp and hurled it at the door. With a loud crash, the lamp shattered against the door and fell to the floor. Then a vase, a marble statue. As if that wasn’t enough, Sasha ran back into the room and dragged out a chair. Screaming, she threw it at the door with all her might. The force of the throw sent her tumbling to the floor. The wreckage of broken objects lay scattered in front of the door. But the sturdy door remained unscathed, unyielding. Sasha lay there, face down, consumed by rage and tears.7d2cacdc59bdf279

They want her to exhaust b9937825a4 herself like this all day, 0ebc35959d only to tear at bread ba797e369a again out of hunger. And then, the eb8e554d76 next day, she 7f66d203ea would wake up 30b80cbcf5 staring at the 36ca549ac0 same ceiling. And then their bb4a7960b2 game would begin c1aedf6ddf anew.41fff961328f1449

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Oh God. Why?bc0dea6f506684c5

She had grown eff25b4c10 up strong despite 0c538e4f6b the hardships. She had endured a painful f56a26f6d6 life without complaint. She had never lived for 0a8eae808c herself… Always enduring, always serving. If life was this ee564ccff1 painful, she wanted to 93f439ffa4 be happy after death.32d99cbddfe40191

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Sister Aresa had 175e60163e said that after 8c6633d1f0 this brief, painful a6c9847cb0 life, she could 94a2140e2f go to a 426c7a97dd beautiful heaven ruled 5df75e7af8 by God. So she prayed. She prayed to 6f5f6e4aaf Him in vain. She prayed for a shining 1d586968d5 path to open at the e42069544a end of her life. But He had trapped her. Neither dead nor alive, He 80bc1122e9 made her repeat this endless fdcb70a1c5 suffering. Why, why is there ac0000ea52 only pain for me?76ee74c0d3006ab1

Why. Why. Why.7c74724e839927c9

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Is this the 74b314f721 price of my 266c3df09a life? Is this the 805991c693 life you wanted df956f17b0 for me?3b46343739d645b8

Sasha staggered to her feet. Wiping away her 9740e31928 tears, she returned 35e3f9d07a to the bedroom, df76d5335b swept the food abd6a04fe5 off the table, 7f41ffba18 and with all 1506572203 her remaining strength, 66d3cf32dc lifted the heavy 7b2a9b5397 wooden table. With a piercing scream, a 4166bebd99 sharp cry of rage, she 85c771d2cb hurled the table. It crashed through the window 0833240e41 and fell to the ground e85f871f61 below.51329cd95ca0fdf7

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Sasha collapsed on the floor, gasping for air. The tempting aroma of the spilled food filled her nostrils. Sasha swallowed her tears. It was miserable. I won’t eat again. I won’t play your twisted game anymore. She picked up a sharp shard of glass. I’ll die. If you won’t kill me, I’ll kill myself. For a split second, something glinted in the scattered food, reflecting the light. The glint caught her eye. It definitely wasn’t a piece of glass. There were no glass fragments near it.dd183448c9fec056

“…….”21b72b65807b590a

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Sasha turned her gaze, 2c15361d32 focusing on what she f92b93955d had glimpsed. Then, she dropped c0457ab8fa the shard of 23c3af9037 glass and crawled 62f9fff05f towards the mess 0d5b2f26d9 of food, rummaging da987f0e78 through it. Beneath the mixed sausages and 1ff542a3af lettuce, she saw what was e6cb1d1523 clearly a key.f778a66e98f9e213

“…….”a7aeb454a355ea3a

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Amidst the chaos, Sasha picked 6b6264c227 it up. Why? Why is a key here? She thought of the locked 0553d6883d door at the end of aa8c0aff69 the hallway. Suddenly, her heart pounded. The hazy reality b9331ac779 became abruptly clear. Her heart beat 876ce78852 as if it dc22ac4b39 were truly alive. Was it hidden under 3c4b0834cb the food? Or under the tray? Was this just a test? Was this key the 040d4680fd answer to everything? Sasha wiped away bffe30d54f her tears and, 0aa78c69db despite the uncertainty, 5fdf0f9e46 left the room 3e9c51b52b with the key 1229acacc8 in hand, walking b8517b8440 down the hallway. As if possessed, dazed 04beafd45a and thoughtless, she moved 4c05a00aea on instinct. She cleared the 3c1334df2d debris in front 862366cc86 of the door c205670f09 she had smashed ebffc457ef and inserted the d3b5aa9a21 key into the 98050d1b88 tightly locked keyhole. Click. The key turned.6f079c429c3172dc

“…….”452c8ecb22d95fed

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She hesitated for a moment 0181c6e9f2 before opening it. The sudden liberation 45a99d5505 brought back the 761fa8d171 fear she had 38b0977c4d forgotten. She looked back. The ornate hallway, empty. A place filled with 694fa368c5 loneliness and silence. Would opening this c00250233e door lead to 3a1a4723d5 even greater pain? Would she end e6a57ce1c2 up missing this 33cf588ca1 place? A vague anxiety washed 39fd5bf98f over her. But whether this was d2b136adfc a dream or reality, 860e26447f Sasha had to open 1bd3b3bb5b that door. Even if it led 77fe4c6d8f to another hell, this 52908a5bfa was her only hope 22cc717d99 of escaping this place, ce52e9a948 at least for now. Sasha turned the doorknob 4d3540f6d6 and pulled.91026f32baf7038f

“Ah.”02433c1f7b6de57b

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A moan escaped her lips, like a sigh. It was a single sound, devoid of despair, hope, surprise, or fear. A pitch-black wall loomed in the lightless darkness. Damp cement, like death encountered behind a door with no exit. Sasha touched it with her hand. Cold and rough. The despair was already familiar, it didn’t hurt. It only fueled her madness.36c733abb930672d

“Stop it.”d3de73478bd61b00

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Sasha muttered. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Please stop it. Then, anger surged again. She banged her cdbfabf838 head against the 19dd4f9ec5 dark wall. Bang. Bang. Bang. The blood flowing from 2a4b6b9ca4 her forehead obscured her b46e4de679 vision. Her ragged breathing was 85591b7bd0 no different from when 554df9388c she foamed at the 85c62f10f0 mouth and collapsed.6d3edb9f350a2983

“Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!”aedb9ac9385615d1

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Oh God. I’m so tired. I’m sick of this. If this is your test, I can’t pass it. Look at me. I’m just going to keep repeating the same stupid mistakes and suffering forever. Please let me go now. Stop it. Please don’t let me wake up again. Please. Please.ed60569ca1f86418

And then she 373c876bcf lost consciousness again.c9ea93e0841ede48

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Sasha opened her eyes. The ivory and gold ceiling.8dc2e6329a4b5102

“Sob…”39e1552dd98037e9

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Tears burst forth. She had prayed so hard. So desperately. So pathetically. Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why…?33f12c991bcc55b6

“Sob…”9bcb05385677bce9

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She gritted her teeth, b25d1af5af but her lips trembled. Her whole body shook.326468feb8a270b2

“Get up.”2bde3796cf900739

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“…….”dc84fa3419996822

Sasha, forgetting her sobs, bolted upright at the unfamiliar man’s voice. Someone was in the unchanging room. The chair and table she had thrown were back in their places, and someone was even sitting there. He had placed his gloves neatly on the table and was flipping through a movie magazine. He folded the magazine, placed it on the table, and stood up. He put his hands in his pockets and, for a long moment, carefully observed Sasha, who was sitting on the bed, stunned. His gaze traveled from the top of Sasha’s red hair, down her face, past her eyes, nose, and mouth, to the clean bandages newly wrapped around her hands, to her toes hidden under the covers, and then back up to her eyes. Sasha remembered him. He was the last person she saw before losing consciousness in the torture chamber. Sasha thought it would be the last image she saw alive. His image was that vividly etched in her memory.18423505511870d3

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“Follow me.”efd67af0a435dbeb

“…….”25dc84bef3784d66

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He walked to the c27c0d0b6f bedroom door and waited c6817e05ac for her to come ccfac0653d out.e97d7dc982bb6159

“Wh, where, where are we going?”c716af64be7dfbd8

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Instead of answering, the ab24988c89 man held up a bfc0689026 key. The key she had 61736f6aa9 found amongst the food. He dangled it before 88c60de748 her, his eyes calm 55e79c7941 and cruel.96c2d0399106eb45

“Come on.”e3b2b26fc61851f5

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He jerked his head, urging 3fc402b66d Sasha forward. His presence was both terrifying 9e7d801eb0 and strangely reassuring. Or rather, the true terror f7b7f610dc lay in refusing his offer. Sasha got up b7d2da24b9 from the bed 35c83ea6b9 and stumbled towards 34567583e9 him. When she was close enough, 11736296f8 he strode towards the end 4d01e314ec of the hallway. Sasha followed and said,d9d1267f5f3fc446

“There’s a wall there.”bf0e9dc60149f153

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“…….”dfd323e2de695ab0

“I tried. There’s a wall there.”5176ad3487511c30

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He glanced back c11fbf913c at her and 56a4e35b9f replied indifferently,d87e0c67fe218f3c

“Is that so?”694f4d945ee7e264

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Then, instead of the b91ea876df wall at the end 1125438c71 of the hallway, he df5aa905ee went to the very 9cc803354a last room in the b808cb8d84 hallway and inserted the 55a82c1ad9 key into the doorknob.a145a9ddbe3e0696

“That key…”0723fd1608632e77

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That key is 3000cfa7d3 for the wall, 9d9b504f15 she wanted to 2b26ce4e94 say.8c2a61655befcdf6

Click. The sound of the 4648fcbbde lock disengaging.8d13fe6ef963b037

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“…….”6355dc4d1e72ffe2

Sasha looked up 3a97185a9f at him with dce39fd055 a bewildered expression. The man replied nonchalantly,c822a27a78842b84

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“One key for one door. Such a tedious notion.”7ed304a89dca4a70

“…….”33e8c57d3523aa2a

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“Come in.”75814e355c43046e

He acted as if he were at home. Was he so comfortable here because he’d been here many times? Or was he an actor, playing a role?0558961b9420b32b

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“Who are you?”c8e03c73ea5aa5f7

She frowned, her contemplation interrupted c52d1acdba by the sight of a b1eedf8d2c feast laid out on a a227a7db83 massive dining table.2d66758b43b150c4

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“Sit down.”26a0e80126a5bed2

He pulled out a 6f4b91c104 chair for her and 1b3b2d9722 then went to sit e2535b3bdd opposite her. Sasha just stood ff9124f7c0 there by the 87264715ce door, gaping, unable fa994d3675 to bring herself d9faed3eb0 to sit. He sighed, took off his db33f3be18 uniform blazer, draped it over d0f89792fe the chair, and gently tugged 76cb5df160 at her sleeve.6f54e32e665523d6

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“Sit.”bb428f021d7e6d15

Sasha sat down as 6979b02af0 if she were about 3654d99eba to collapse. He pushed her 5a2bd31e76 chair closer to 72912c32c8 the table and 0e3b262357 returned to his 6a58659f2f seat. A coercive yet gentlemanly manner. What a bizarre combination. Sasha frowned and asked,ff0fea14813cf06f

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“What are you doing?”dfd0e3c6a65aaa57

The man picked up da62dc78fc his fork and knife, 37a5ee47b8 glancing at her.2ce53b5119b45545

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“Eating.”634285e976f94e75

“…….”f774d9b30d9626ef

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He scanned the spread bcaafb8773 on the table, considering e3675ee7c4 what to eat first.929177305b027538

“Eat, Sasha. You better eat. Unless you want to starve to death.”6bacc57549e2b685

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He took a 22c489f6dd slice of thinly 19bd239d81 sliced veal, placed 2e8c6f40ee it on his 30d85dd8fb plate, and cut 54846a8c83 it with his 2d8f7b221d knife as if dea8561db3 to demonstrate. Sasha flinched.5ceb10e7802adb1a

“The food is poisoned. Someone poisoned it.”bb98a0cebedb4db9

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He chuckled, as if 6b7ebdd787 he had heard an 8a484bca4c amusing joke.c6329399722e2733

“What’s so funny?”b0431c33151bee78

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“I didn’t poison the food. I put the poison on your fingertips.”7a5c202939df3931

“…….”b08be10bac66b66c

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He elegantly skewered 272992deee a piece of 1093fe750d veal with his 237a797d43 fork and put e3c145db1b it in his 14c57d754a mouth. Sasha looked at her 5a6aab6dc7 fingertips, now covered with 5e713785f0 clean, new bandages. Here? Then she looked up at e8f590167e him. He simply raised and lowered 7102533573 his eyebrows mischievously.2b61b37db77de782

“How…”08b5cf263d5fa503

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“If you had used a fork and knife, this wouldn’t have happened.”f7c8ae133223acf3

He seemed unwilling to answer her question about his identity. Moreover, his response was incredibly casual compared to her stunned, stammering questions. He knows everything. Is it this man? Was this hell not created by God, but by this man? Sasha’s hands trembled.d45d1db096edfab5

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“Why? Why did you put poison on my hands? Where am I? If you wanted to kill me, you could have just left me alone. Why did you make me repeat that over and over again?”336e35b1c1d505d1

“Just to remind you that a lady should maintain her composure under any circumstances.”df9c5b1a9ce1de75

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Composure! After putting her through all this, he talks about composure! After toying with her and enjoying her suffering every day, he dares to utter such noble words! Sasha couldn’t hold back and threw her fork at him. But the errant fork didn’t even come close to him.d1d341d7a83a501c

“Well done. Why don’t you try eating with your hands again?”450f9d502e277bb2

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“…….”49a569664d55f49f

Tears welled up in Sasha’s wide eyes again. She wanted to flip the table over. The frustration was overwhelming. A burning sensation rose within her, reaching her eyes. She was crying because she was so angry. She realized that only now.c91e3840638b9496

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“Crying at the dinner table spoils your appetite.”d41be002e15f3c73

“Sob…”b68ede7453211c18

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The man sighed, dd80af3650 wiped his fork 3a5a482324 with a napkin, ca917f867a and placed it 7c15e7e3df in front of b2c1f53cdc her.dc20e85d41c11d75

“Here.”4c7f413ad4959db5

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“…….”0523d6e2eef9246e

Then he held out 444724b6e0 his hands.eecabee2af71f086

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“My hands aren’t poisoned.”8a9fcac05d8c8e27

He picked up e9b5bbb6e5 a piece of 41654c26a1 bread with his 88e4f870ed hand, broke it 3d5f1f5ff8 in half, and de23b2649f put it in 8864811721 his mouth.31e4b71f47597921

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“It’s been four weeks since you’ve had a proper meal. Drugs can only do so much. Put something in your mouth and chew.”f91db2bf92591e44

“It’s because you poisoned me! Because you tried to kill me!”4eea9ad0810a5011

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“I never tried to kill you. If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead already.”f91d2dbf42214b0f

“I never wanted to live! I begged you to kill me, over and over!”e8b98bdcc91c762b

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“Fork and knife.”4cee46ee33aed958

“Why are you doing this? What are you doing this to me for?!”1117f47ad5f616bb

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He rubbed his forehead with his hand. He seemed a little exasperated by Sasha’s defiant tone.53fc822fa706b65b

“I won’t explain anything unless you eat at least something.”73db0824920f05e1

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“…….”af6c4e56f13d2ee7

“Fork and knife.”6532c27bd22a3608

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He emphasized again, and cfdab8fefc Sasha picked up the 8ee30be2a7 knife. What is with his composure? Is he crazy? Is he toying with me? His calmness was beyond aaffa283d5 absurd, his motives utterly b465f7a623 unfathomable. What is he doing? What does he want 1b98d999e6 from me?b916500cb58f56d8

He watched Sasha’s hands trembling as if she were about to throw the cutlery and quipped,663bad19d89a4c3e

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“Planning to deprive me of everything I own?”5b6257ef51676b08

“…….”af14a205a7c148c0

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“You’re quite a handful.”7cd1347c3b0eeca7

He wiped his mouth f743fea993 with a napkin, stood e0fcf38263 up, and speared a a0ebd9464c large piece of steak 58685c123b with his fork, placing b993f28a8c it on her plate.40bef9eebcfe8a34

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“Here.”053fb6ac63d18ff1

A deliciously cooked piece 9e6642cdd7 of meat. Just looking at it 2f9f6f4030 made her mouth water. He was right. She was constantly hungry. She would fill her stomach, d7a6f40526 inevitably collapse, foaming at the b94c09d73c mouth, and then wake up 60a3f2ea87 with a gnawing hunger. Four weeks. To think she had been b6fbf68723 captive for so long. And yet, there 4c6a1fdb6a was no one add0db9f4c she truly missed 923b672afe or worried about. Sister Aresa and Bobby. Even those were a6ba4e9f4f just vague longings, 6164856188 not tangible enough 07839134ab to grasp. It was because she d80606d4e8 had never truly given f0a625e208 her heart to anyone. Because her heart was barren.12fdf230d1785a2c

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“Surely you don’t expect me to feed you?”52fffdf1b004d16a

He asked, chewing on his bread. Who is this unpredictable man? Sasha still didn’t know who he was. The man who tortured her was deferential to him, so he must be of a higher rank than a major. Yes, they called him Colonel back then. He seems insane. Of course, the Dochen army is full of insane people. But most of them are terrifying, like monsters. Like that Dieter. Terrifying like that madman. But this man is ambiguous. That ambiguity is truly unsettling.8db4a0bc43b8a3a7

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Sasha reluctantly picked up her fork and knife, cutting the meat and glancing at him sideways. He now seemed completely uninhibited, stabbing at various foods with his knife and popping them directly into his mouth. His actions seemed carefree, yet there was a heavy, oppressive aura about him. Was it his neatly combed platinum blonde hair? Or the aura of his impeccable uniform? Or was it…? Sasha put a small piece of meat in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. Then, without thinking, she took another piece, and another.5e292012eb639028

“Where am I?”cf772984d6d98f5f

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“…….”ecd201f9610b452c

“You said you’d answer if I ate.”7147a1d7552e67c3

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“This is a fortress. Sasha, you’re still my prisoner, still in my prison.”df597bcdf7e92c10

A prison? This place? Sasha looked at the elegant 8dfd359169 chandeliers and the luxurious marble. What other prison was df6714c2ff this lavish? Still being in a fortress 57c7b31f35 meant she was in the 3f842f8d51 same place she arrived at a1097ba07c initially. Just the environment had changed.d34f5f7bd606b594

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“Eat slowly.”a8ce230690b2e6f4

He said, as she 1d022e2c66 started to chew and d055875875 swallow the meat more 98bfbefc40 quickly.2f86ef31caece28e

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Now that she 11120b16f3 thought about it, ecae765091 she felt like 0a79678cb2 she had seen 955eb69324 him somewhere before. Not in the torture chamber, 52a0481d05 but somewhere else.c26086459f0fbf99

“Cough.”8b2f59418673b2d4

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A slight cough 19c759f653 escaped her lips. Perhaps she ate too quickly.2100c47b22c0d1b9

“Cough, cough.”d9a86eb0ad4eefdd

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No, that’s not it. Sasha covered her mouth, coughing, and looked at him, her face turning blue.c3dbef38c51f212a

“Cough! Cough! Cough!”086075c648bd2baa

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The cough became violent. The food! The man burst into laughter. Her esophagus burned, 350d9f0210 and her airway e49dc359ef constricted.3e559524987fc12a

“Cough! Cough! Cough!”329dadd291ad2d9e

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“Hahaha!”b3212c6b42b78faa

He clutched his stomach and laughed. Sasha reached for the table but slipped and fell to the floor. Crash, a chair fell with her. The man continued to laugh. White foam flowed from Sasha’s mouth. She clawed at the floor, gagging. The man laughed louder.745e3cac1ec4aab3

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“Hahaha! You idiot!”c78fbce257fd20a3

Oh, I know. I remember. This man. She saw him when fde0a0a749 she first arrived in 26718c50cf Nerha. In the newspaper the boarding 83992d0821 house gave her.57a61fbe54943caa

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Johan von Willendorf. How could she forget? She should never have crossed the border. Spying didn’t suit her. He was right. Sasha Laurent, you are an idiot.65fe691d3ab29f74

“Sasha.”ab30ef520373e9c0

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He called her name tenderly. This damn bastard. Sasha coughed and then, disgustingly, 80c9f7015a once again, lost consciousness.23792bdc96cdce68