DMG Chapter 10 (Part 2) – End

LONG CHAPTER AHEAD

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The alarm wasn’t even set, yet Kang I-won woke up early. Out of habit, he got up, ate breakfast, washed up, and changed into fresh clothes. But all that preparation ended up being pointless as he found himself crawling back into bed.

There was no need to head to the center anymore. No reason to train every day like before. Kang I-won lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling.

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Without work, there was nothing to do. The empty hours felt strangely awkward, a glaring void he wasn’t used to.

If he wanted, there was something he could do—the thing he had longed for so deeply. This time, there was no fear of failure, no one to stand in his way.

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It was the perfect moment to act.

And yet, he didn’t feel like it. Am I scared now? After all this time? Closing his eyes, Kang I-won thought of his own death.

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He had faced the pain of dying dozens, maybe hundreds of times. Still, the agony of severe injuries never got easier. It always hurt—there was no avoiding that.

But fear of death itself? He had none. To Kang I-won, death was something he had awaited—a long-desired peace and rest.

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Even so, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. This thing he had wanted for so long… felt oddly unappealing. Back then, and even now.

Setting it aside again, Kang I-won lay still, staring blankly at the ceiling until a familiar sensation washed over him—Heo Do-gyeong’s emotions, unbidden as always. But today, they carried an unusual sense of cheerfulness.

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The moment he noticed, an inexplicable irritation welled up in him. What’s he so happy about?

But the feeling didn’t last long. Soon, Kang I-won emptied his thoughts again, gazing aimlessly at the ceiling.

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There was truly nothing to do. He didn’t even feel like doing anything. No motivation, no drive.

While he lay there in a daze, a knock sounded at the door. His head turned toward the sound. Was he imagining it? The sound of the doorbell soon followed, shattering that thought.

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“No one’s supposed to come here…” he muttered to himself, slowly pushing himself off the bed.

The doorbell rang again. Kang I-won tilted his head in confusion and shuffled to the door. When he opened it—

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“…Huh?”

A startled sound escaped his lips as he stared at the person standing on the other side. Unable to say anything, he just gawked, his mind frozen.

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Heo Do-gyeong stood at the door and, without waiting for an invitation, spoke.

“I’m coming in.”

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At those words, Kang I-won unconsciously stepped aside, allowing Heo Do-gyeong to squeeze past him and enter the apartment. Kang I-won stared blankly at his back as he stepped inside, but quickly regained his senses and grabbed Heo Do-gyeong’s arm to stop him.

“Wait—why are you here at my house, Guide Heo Do-gyeong?”

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“Why else? I told you I’d do things my way from now on.”

Kang I-won remembered that. But he hadn’t imagined it would mean barging into his home unannounced. And what was with that suitcase? Heo Do-gyeong, noticing his gaze fixed on the black suitcase in his hand, smirked and replied.

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“Oh, that? Well…”

“What is that?”

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“I’m planning to stay here for a while.”

“…What?”

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“If you don’t like it, you can come live at my place instead. I wouldn’t mind that, either.”

“What—why would I go live at your place? And why are you staying here?”

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“What else? It’s my luggage. I told you, I’m planning to stay here for a while.”

Kang I-won silently reeled in disbelief. How can someone be this shameless? Pressing a hand to his forehead, he asked, “This is way too sudden. I don’t understand. You’re staying at my place? Why?”

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“Because I’m worried you’ll end up dead if I leave you alone.”

“…”

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The blunt answer hit its mark, leaving Kang I-won momentarily speechless. Feeling exposed, he quickly tried to change the subject.

“What about work? Aren’t you going to the office?”

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“I took a leave of absence on the condition that I’d return to Seoul afterward. That’s why I was busy yesterday. Sorry I missed your farewell party. Were you upset?”

“No,” Kang I-won denied instinctively, dodging the question.

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“By the way, what do you mean by ‘returning after it’s over’? What’s over?”

“It’s simple,” Heo Do-gyeong replied, meeting Kang I-won’s confused gaze. “If one of us gives up, it’s over. Either you give up, or I do.”

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“What do you mean by ‘give up’?” Kang I-won asked, puzzled.

“If I give up, you can do whatever you want. I won’t stop you. But if you give up…”

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Heo Do-gyeong’s lips curled into a sly smile.

“Then our relationship will change. In the way I want it to.”

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Only then did Kang I-won begin to grasp what Heo Do-gyeong was implying.

Good grief. Are all kids these days this brazen? Kang I-won rubbed his forehead in exasperation. Being swept up in this whirlwind of Heo Do-gyeong’s boldness, he felt like he was losing his mind. What was even worse—he didn’t find it unpleasant or annoying.

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The strength drained from Kang I-won’s hand, releasing its grip on Heo Do-gyeong’s arm. Freed, Heo Do-gyeong began wandering around the apartment as if it were his own.

The place wasn’t particularly large, so it didn’t take him long to explore. Within a few steps, he’d finished surveying the entire apartment.

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“Nice place. Cozy,” Heo Do-gyeong said with a polite, if insincere, compliment as he removed his coat.

“By the way, do you have a coat rack or something? I’d like to hang this up.”

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“Over there in the closet…”

Kang I-won gestured toward the closet out of habit, only to freeze as he remembered the coat. The coat Heo Do-gyeong had discarded but he had kept.

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“W-wait a second!”

Before Kang I-won could stop him, Heo Do-gyeong swung open the closet door. His sharp eyes immediately landed on the distinctly out-of-place coat hanging inside. He raised an eyebrow.

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“What’s this? Why do you still have it? Didn’t I tell you to get rid of it?”

“…It was expensive.”

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“It’s not even that expensive,” Heo Do-gyeong replied dismissively, losing interest in his coat and turning his attention to the rest of the closet.

The closet was filled with nothing but training clothes and plain T-shirts. Clicking his tongue, Heo Do-gyeong shook his head.

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“What’s with this selection? No wonder you always wear those shabby clothes.”

Shabby clothes? Kang I-won looked down at his current outfit—a tracksuit provided for free by the center. For something handed out at no cost, it wasn’t bad at all.

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Halfway through hanging up his coat, Heo Do-gyeong suddenly put it back on and gestured toward the door with a nod.

“Let’s go. We’re getting you some proper clothes.”

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“These are still fine. They’re sturdy.”

“Do you think ‘sturdy’ is all that matters? I’ll pay. Let’s go.”

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Sturdy wasn’t enough? Kang I-won thought it was perfectly reasonable. But there was something more pressing to address.

“Why do you care about my clothes in the first place?”

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Instead of answering, Heo Do-gyeong changed the subject with a smirk.

“By the way, how long are you going to keep calling me ‘Guide’? Isn’t it about time you started calling me something more casual? You’re not even an Esper anymore.”

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That hit a nerve, and a faint sense of indignation flared in Kang I-won.

“I’m still an Esper, technically. I’m just on leave for now.”

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“And what difference does that make? You’re quitting soon anyway.”

“Not yet. I’m still technically employed,” Kang I-won replied firmly.

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“It’s a leave of absence. You’re not working, so how does that still make you an Esper?”

It seemed like Heo Do-gyeong wouldn’t back down, even once.

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“So, just call me something more casual. Anything but ‘Guide.’ I’ll do the same for you. What should I call you? I-won? Or hyung?”

“…‘Kang I-won’ is fine.”

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“That’s so boring. Well, whatever. We’ll change that gradually. For now, let me call you what I want.”

Kang I-won paused, deep in thought. The reason he hadn’t addressed Heo Do-gyeong casually was because he feared it might bring them closer. But considering he was already feeling Heo Do-gyeong’s emotions without restraint, what difference would a name make?

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After hesitating briefly, Kang I-won finally answered, though the words and tone felt awkward.

“…Why are you buying my clothes? …Do-gyeong.”

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The repeated question went unanswered. Instead, Heo Do-gyeong’s face flushed bright red, and he quickly raised a hand to cover it.

Is he really reacting like that, just from hearing his name? Kang I-won’s own face began to heat up, tickled by the strange feelings bubbling up from within.

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Trying to ignore it, Kang I-won pressed the question again for the third time.

“Why are you buying my clothes, Guide Heo Do-gyeong?”

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The third repetition finally got a response. Still blushing, Heo Do-gyeong furrowed his brows in mock annoyance and pouted like a child.

“Why are you calling me ‘Guide’ again? Call me like you just did, ‘Do-gyeong.’”

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What is he, a kid? And why is he acting so cute?

No, not cute. Grinding his teeth, Kang I-won found himself relieved that the mark had been unilateral. At least Heo Do-gyeong couldn’t feel what he was feeling now.

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“When are you going to answer my question?” Kang I-won asked again, exasperated.

“I want to buy them for you, that’s why. Now, call me ‘Do-gyeong’ again. I liked the way it sounded.”

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Liked it? Kang I-won’s lips twitched as he struggled with himself. Saying the name had been embarrassing enough the first time, but now, with Heo Do-gyeong looking at him expectantly, it felt even harder. His gaze shifted away awkwardly as he murmured, “…Maybe once I’m more used to it.”

“Taking it back already? How is this so hard for you?” Heo Do-gyeong muttered, unable to hide his disappointment.

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When he kept insisting, Kang I-won, flustered and cornered, escaped by heading straight out the door.

“Not that way—this way,” Heo Do-gyeong called after him, easily overtaking him with long strides.

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Ahead of them, a familiar car was parked at the edge of the alley.

“Get in,” Heo Do-gyeong said, gesturing toward the vehicle.

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Obeying, Kang I-won climbed into the car and immediately buckled his seatbelt, his mind still spinning from their earlier conversation.

Kang I-won hadn’t intended to leave the house, yet here he was, dragged out in a roundabout way. Did he do this on purpose? Unable to hide his awkward expression, he glanced at Heo Do-gyeong, who settled into the driver’s seat. Soon, the car started moving smoothly.

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Resigned, Kang I-won leaned back into the seat.

“By the way, where are we going?”

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“I told you—we’re going to buy clothes.”

“But this isn’t the direction to the city center.”

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“Why would we go there? There’s a department store nearby. That’s where we’re headed.”

“To buy clothes? At a department store?”

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There were plenty of clothing shops in the city. Why go all the way to a department store?

“Where else would we go?”

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“Those places over there,” Kang I-won said, pointing to a few clothing stores they passed.

Heo Do-gyeong chuckled lightly and replied, “Do you think I’d buy you clothes from those places?”

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What, does he think he’s buying me something amazing? Kang I-won stared at him incredulously, and by the time they arrived at the department store, he couldn’t hide his growing dread.

“This size looks about right. This color is nice. Oh, this one too. And this. Want to try this on?”

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“…No.”

Feeling overwhelmed, Kang I-won shook his head.

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“You can try it on. Fine, how about this one too?”

The pile of clothes grew higher and higher. Department store staff diligently packed the selected items into shopping bags. As the bags multiplied, so did the look of exhaustion on Kang I-won’s face.

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Initially, he had planned to let this play out and see where it went. But at this rate, it seemed like it would never end.

“This one would look good too.”

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“I don’t need this much,” Kang I-won protested.

“Why not? You barely have any clothes.”

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The audacity of that statement left him speechless. After all, hadn’t Heo Do-gyeong seen his closet stuffed with tracksuits?

“This one is nice too,” Heo Do-gyeong added, holding up another outfit.

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“No, seriously, this is too much. There won’t even be room in my closet for all of this.”

“Then just get a new closet. What’s the big deal?”

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The sheer nonchalance in his tone irritated Kang I-won so much that, for the first time in a while, he ground his teeth in genuine frustration at him.

“There’s no space for a new closet either.”

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“Ah.”

Pausing briefly, Heo Do-gyeong turned to one of the staff and murmured something quietly. The employee nodded and set aside about two-thirds of the clothes.

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While the remaining items were still substantial, the noticeable reduction in volume made Kang I-won let out a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, without asking about the prices, Heo Do-gyeong swiftly completed the payment.

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“Isn’t this a bit too much?” Kang I-won asked, watching the transaction with unease.

“This much? Don’t be ridiculous,” Heo Do-gyeong said, brushing it off as if it were nothing.

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Heo Do-gyeong scoffed lightly, dismissing the expense with ease. To him, this level of spending was nothing.

Well, if it’s his money, he can do whatever he wants with it. Kang I-won sighed briefly, pushing aside any concern about Heo Do-gyeong’s wallet. In his current state, who was he to worry about someone else’s finances?

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“We’ve bought enough clothes. Let’s grab something to eat,” Heo Do-gyeong suggested.

Kang I-won nodded. He’d eaten breakfast, but after moving around a bit, he already felt hungry again. Though most of his abilities had disappeared, leaving him less ravenous than before, the slight unease in his stomach was still noticeable.

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“Anything you want to eat?”

“Anything is fine,” Kang I-won replied.

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“In that case, I know just the place. There’s a nice spot nearby.”

Still feeling a little out of his element, Kang I-won followed as Heo Do-gyeong led the way. They arrived at an elegant restaurant with a refined atmosphere. As they stepped inside, someone greeted Heo Do-gyeong warmly, as if they were acquainted, before leading them to a private room.

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“This is a restaurant someone my father knows runs as a hobby. It’s pretty good—clean and trustworthy. I already ordered for us,” Heo Do-gyeong explained as they took their seats.

Right on cue, the appetizers arrived.

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While the dishes were the same, the portions were vastly different. The plate in front of Kang I-won looked more like a full meal than an appetizer. Noticing his bewildered gaze alternating between the plates, Heo Do-gyeong pointed to his own and explained, “I figured this wouldn’t even make a dent for you.”

“…Thank you,” Kang I-won murmured, feeling awkward but grateful as he picked up his spoon.

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The dish was adorned with so many unfamiliar components that he couldn’t even guess what it would taste like. Cautiously, he took a bite.

His eyes widened as soon as the flavors hit his tongue. It was a completely new and unfamiliar taste, but it was delicious. His pace quickened as he ate.

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The courses kept coming, one after another. As soon as a plate was cleared, another full one was set down in its place. Each dish was so good that Kang I-won found himself wishing he could eat more, barely sparing time to talk to Heo Do-gyeong.

However, as the courses progressed, his pace began to slow.

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Noticing the change, Heo Do-gyeong asked in a curious tone, “Doesn’t suit your taste? Don’t force yourself to eat if you don’t like it. Just leave it.”

“No, it’s delicious. It’s just… I’m starting to get full,” Kang I-won admitted, looking slightly embarrassed.

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“You haven’t even eaten that much compared to before. Your appetite must’ve shrunk,” Heo Do-gyeong commented thoughtfully.

He was right. Kang I-won’s appetite had noticeably diminished. He placed a hand over his stomach, his expression shifting to one of mild discomfort.

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Kang I-won’s insatiable hunger stemmed from his regeneration ability. With much of that ability now diminished, it was only natural that his appetite had decreased. If his power were to completely vanish, his meals would likely shrink even further.

After hesitating, Kang I-won offered an apology.

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“Sorry you went to all this trouble for me.”

“That’s nothing to apologize for. You don’t need to feel bad about it—it’s no big deal.”

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“Still…”

“Don’t force yourself to eat more than you can handle.”

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When a server arrived with the next course, Heo Do-gyeong spoke briefly to them, and the dish was promptly taken back, replaced with dessert.

“Let’s just finish this and head out,” he suggested.

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Kang I-won nodded, feeling a twinge of regret for the uneaten food.

After finishing their meal, they returned to Kang I-won’s apartment. The first thing Heo Do-gyeong did was clear out the tracksuits from Kang I-won’s closet, replacing them with the new clothes he’d bought.

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Next, he rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, inspecting the refrigerator with a dissatisfied look, and then went through the storage spaces. Finally, he neatly spread out a blanket on the floor beside Kang I-won’s bed and declared he would shower first.

He disappeared into the bathroom with fresh clothes in hand, and soon the sound of water running echoed faintly through the less-than-soundproof walls. The noise felt strangely foreign and awkward, making Kang I-won uncomfortably aware of another person’s presence in his space. It was disconcerting and oddly embarrassing. He busied himself by wiping down surfaces and tidying up unnecessarily.

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By the time he grew too tired to continue, Heo Do-gyeong emerged from the bathroom in comfortable clothes, his hair damp and carrying the familiar scent of his shampoo. The fragrance, one Kang I-won had often associated with him, brought a strange feeling of familiarity.

It’s almost like… The thought brought a flush of heat to his face. Kang I-won quickly shut it down, retreating to the bathroom and turning on the shower.

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As the cold water hit his head, the heat subsided, and his thoughts cleared. He’s fed me and given me things. Fine, I’ll let him stay for tonight. But tomorrow, he’s out.

Muttering to himself, Kang I-won finished his shower and stepped out, only to see Heo Do-gyeong lying comfortably on the floor next to his bed. The sight made him chuckle dryly.

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So much for his supposed germophobia. The Heo Do-gyeong who used to discard gloves after every guiding session because they felt “dirty” was now casually lying on the floor. It was hard to believe they were the same person.

Drying his hair with a towel, Kang I-won sat on the edge of his bed and asked, with a mixture of amusement and incredulity, “Did you cure your germophobia or something?”

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He wasn’t sure if germophobia was something that could even be “cured,” but seeing how different Heo Do-gyeong’s behavior was, he couldn’t help but ask.

Heo Do-gyeong replied in an unconcerned tone, “Not really. I still find it unpleasant when other people touch me. But strangely enough, I don’t mind when it’s you. It doesn’t bother me at all.”

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His words carried an unmistakable sincerity that left Kang I-won’s face burning. Why did I even ask?

Flustered, Kang I-won threw himself onto the bed and pulled the blanket over his head, trying to hide his flushed face.

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“Are you not going to dry your hair?”

Seeing Kang I-won lying down with his hair still damp and unbrushed, Heo Do-gyeong frowned and sat up slightly. From under the blanket, Kang I-won peeked his face out and replied, “…I can just lay a towel down and sleep.”

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“Dry it first. What are you…”

“Why? Because it’s dirty?”

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The question slipped out as memories of the past resurfaced. At this, Heo Do-gyeong looked at him incredulously and retorted, “We’ve already shared more than just germs. Do you really think I’d call this dirty now? I mean, it’s not just germs—”

Before he could finish, Kang I-won quickly pressed a hand over his mouth, his face burning. Why does he have to bring that up now? What does that even have to do with this?

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While Kang I-won tried to calm his racing heart, Heo Do-gyeong stood up and fetched a hair dryer.

“Sit up. I’ll dry it for you.”

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Reluctantly, Kang I-won sat up on the bed, still avoiding eye contact. Heo Do-gyeong plugged in the hair dryer, and soon, the loud hum of the machine filled the room as warm air blew out.

The warmth of the dryer was accompanied by the sensation of Heo Do-gyeong’s fingers brushing through his hair. Every time his fingertips grazed Kang I-won’s scalp, it sent a small shiver down his spine.

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This was the first time someone had ever dried his hair for him. It felt strange. The faint presence of someone behind him made his shoulders instinctively hunch, and the soft tickle in his chest returned, unsettlingly persistent.

The moisture in his hair quickly disappeared, and the dryer’s noise faded. Kang I-won reached up to touch his hair, still warm from the heat.

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His hair had grown quite a bit while he’d been neglecting it. It was probably time for a haircut. For a brief moment, he wondered if it was really necessary, but he quickly decided it was.

As he coiled the dryer’s cord, Heo Do-gyeong glanced at Kang I-won, who was absentmindedly fiddling with his hair.

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“Are you going to cut it? It’s gotten pretty long.”

“I was planning to soon.”

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“Then let’s go together tomorrow. Do you have anything else you want to do?”

“No, not really,” Kang I-won answered nonchalantly.

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After a moment of quiet contemplation, Heo Do-gyeong asked, “Do you like exhibitions?”

* * *

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The snipping sound of scissors filled the air as strands of hair fell past the tip of Kang I-won’s nose. His long bangs, which had once obscured his vision, were cut short, revealing his eyes and the faintly lighter dark circles beneath them. The hairstylist let out a small exclamation of admiration and continued the cut with practiced skill.

“Your eyes are so beautiful. Why were you hiding them?”

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Unused to such compliments, Kang I-won scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“…I was too lazy to cut it.”

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“But wasn’t it inconvenient at that length? It must’ve felt stuffy, blocking your view.”

“I got used to it.”

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Sensing Kang I-won’s discomfort with the conversation, the stylist quickly finished trimming his hair without further chatter.

Once the cut was complete, they styled his hair lightly, transforming his appearance entirely. The stylist let out another quiet exclamation. Even the faint dark circles beneath his eyes, which gave him a slightly somber look, somehow added to his charm.

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Seeing the final result, Heo Do-gyeong smiled in satisfaction, the corners of his lips curling up.

“Much better.”

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Feeling self-conscious at the praise, Kang I-won rubbed the back of his neck. The reflection in the mirror felt unfamiliar.

“Shall we go?”

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Still adjusting to his new look, Kang I-won nodded hesitantly, running a hand through his freshly styled hair.

After an hour-long drive in Heo Do-gyeong’s car, they arrived at an exhibition hall. Being a weekday, it was relatively quiet.

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Kang I-won looked around with curious eyes, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. It was his first time at an exhibition. Life had always been too busy for him to indulge in this kind of leisure.

Everything about the exhibition felt new. Paintings he had never seen before lined the walls, and the atmosphere was serene and tranquil.

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“This is your first time at an exhibition, right?” asked Heo Do-gyeong, his voice soft but teasing.

Kang I-won nodded, still looking around in quiet amazement.

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Kang I-won nodded along, listening to Heo Do-gyeong’s soft and steady voice as he explained things throughout the exhibition. He didn’t understand most of what was being said, but there was something comforting about the sound of his voice, so he nodded absentmindedly as if he did.

For two or three hours, they wandered the exhibit, viewing the paintings while listening to Heo Do-gyeong’s commentary. After the tour, they shared a meal, visited a café for dessert that Heo Do-gyeong insisted on buying, and eventually returned home. Before Kang I-won knew it, another day had vanished in the blink of an eye.

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By the time he gathered his thoughts, he found himself lying on his bed, face buried in the pillow.

Yesterday, today—both days had been a blur, spent being pulled along by Heo Do-gyeong. I was going to send him off today. Kang I-won glanced over at Heo Do-gyeong, who was lying completely still, and buried his face in the pillow again.

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It’s too late to kick him out now. I’ll do it tomorrow, he promised himself before closing his eyes.

But the next day came, and the day after that, and Kang I-won still couldn’t bring himself to send Heo Do-gyeong away.

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Every day, Heo Do-gyeong would whisk him away to do something new, leaving him too drained to think by the time night fell. Musical shows, leisurely walks along trails, aimless drives—each day was unsettlingly peaceful and idle. Despite knowing this wasn’t sustainable, Kang I-won kept telling himself, Tomorrow. I’ll send him away tomorrow.

As the days passed, spending time with Heo Do-gyeong became easier, even comfortable.

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“Do-gyeong,” Kang I-won called out one day without even realizing the shift in how he addressed him.

The seasons had quietly changed, and yet, a faint trace of Kang I-won’s ability lingered. Because of that, the bond of the imprint remained intact. Feeling the steady stream of affection from the other side, Kang I-won asked hesitantly, “Doesn’t it bother you that I’m the only one who feels your emotions?”

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“Not at all,” Heo Do-gyeong replied without hesitation.

“…Why?”

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“Because I actually like it. Thanks to the imprint, you can’t claim it’s all in my head or deny my feelings anymore.”

A cool breeze passed, ruffling Kang I-won’s hair.

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“Hold still for a second,” Heo Do-gyeong said with a smile he couldn’t hide as he reached out and plucked a small leaf caught in Kang I-won’s hair.

Kang I-won’s gaze followed his hand, eventually settling on his face.

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The ordinary, everyday moments with Heo Do-gyeong felt fresh and unfamiliar.

These days together created attachment, and that attachment in turn became a weight, holding him back.

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The happiness of those moments made it easier to ignore the growing guilt tightening around his ankles. And so, he let himself be pulled along by Heo Do-gyeong, day after day.

I’ll send him away tomorrow. He repeated it like a mantra. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

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But that “tomorrow” never seemed to arrive.

* * *

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As the seasons passed, memories accumulated. The happiness that Kang I-won could barely hold in one hand before now overflowed both hands, spilling over as if endless. The abundance of these cherished moments piled up around him, like a sea of leaves blanketing the ground.

The days were so joyous that he felt as though he could suffocate on that happiness and still die content.

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Tomorrow, he had kept telling himself. But as green leaves turned shades of red and yellow, scattered in the wind, and left bare branches behind, tomorrow continued to elude him.

Even then, the imprint remained—faint, tenuous, like a candle flame flickering precariously in the wind. It looked ready to extinguish at any moment, yet somehow it endured, burning on stubbornly.

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It was while staring at the bare branches that Kang I-won realized how much time had passed. As the realization hit, the guilt he had pushed aside for so long, buried beneath heaps of happiness, reemerged, tearing through those joyful memories like a storm.

That guilt, once an amorphous weight, began to take form. Slowly, it shaped itself into a figure: Kang I-won’s own reflection.

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The guilt, now a shadow of himself, asked, “How long are you going to keep doing this?”

It crept closer, its cold fingers brushing against his neck before wrapping around his throat with both hands.

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“You know, don’t you? Everyone you care about ends up dead, while you’re always the one left behind.”

No… Kang I-won wanted to deny it. At least Choi Soo-bin and the members of Team 5 in Gyeonggi didn’t die. They were alive. But the guilt’s grip tightened, choking off any words he might have spoken.

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The shadow’s distorted face leaned in, lips curling into a mocking grin.

“Choi Soo-bin? She’s stronger than you! Who do you think you’re protecting? And Team 5?”

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The guilt burst into laughter, loud and cruel, echoing in his ears.

“Did you ever really cherish that team? Compare them to what you actually care about!”

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The laughter abruptly stopped, replaced by a chilling, blank expression.

“Kang I-won,” the guilt said, voice cold and cutting, “why are you still like this?”

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The hands tightening around Kang I-won’s throat squeezed harder, making it feel as though all air had been cut off. His guilt spoke again, its voice dripping with malice.

“Do you really think you can protect anything now, without even that pathetic ability?”

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It uttered the fear Kang I-won had desperately tried to ignore.

“What if Heo Do-gyeong ends up dead because of you?”

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You can’t protect anyone. You never could. The guilt laughed—or maybe it was crying. It was hard to tell. But one thing was clear: its voice carried biting mockery and bitter self-loathing.

The sound—whether laughter or sobbing—echoed, growing faint as if it were retreating. The grip on his throat vanished, and his legs wavered, making him stumble. Beneath him, his foot pressed against something soft and cold.

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A sickening sensation crawled up his spine as Kang I-won’s eyes shifted downward.

Lying there, lifeless on the floor, was Heo Do-gyeong’s body.

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Someone he couldn’t protect.

The fear he had buried deep inside now stood starkly before him, vivid and undeniable. Kang I-won’s mouth slowly opened, but no sound came out. A silent scream clawed its way out of his throat, yet nothing could escape. The overwhelming terror choked him, leaving him gasping for breath.

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Just as he thought he might pass out from the suffocating panic, his eyes snapped open.

He woke abruptly, his chest heaving as he gasped for air. His rapid breathing echoed in the quiet room, his heart pounding uncontrollably. Gradually, as his breathing steadied and his mind calmed, he became aware of a familiar scent tickling his nose.

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Kang I-won sat up hurriedly and got out of bed, his movements still frantic. He headed toward the kitchen, where a familiar figure stood, leisurely preparing breakfast with smooth, practiced motions.

For a moment, Kang I-won simply stood there, watching silently.

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This sight had become familiar. When had it become so natural, so ingrained?

Sensing his presence, Heo Do-gyeong turned to look at him, a warm smile curving his lips.

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“Did you sleep well?”

The gentle rise of his lips was accompanied by a pleasant, steady beat from his heart, a rhythm that resonated deeply within Kang I-won. He placed a hand over his own chest. Thump, thump. His heartbeat was faster than usual.

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Was this his own heart? Or was it Heo Do-gyeong’s? For so long, he had dismissed it as simply Heo Do-gyeong’s, but now, it no longer mattered whose it was. The distinction felt meaningless.

Feeling the rhythm in his chest, Kang I-won realized one thing: I can’t delay this any longer.

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“What are you standing there for?” Heo Do-gyeong asked, his tone light and teasing.

Kang I-won hesitated for a moment before finally opening his mouth.

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“Do-gyeong.”

“Yes?”

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“Let me treat you to a meal.”

It was time to stop delaying, to finally take a step forward.

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At Kang I-won’s unexpected offer, Heo Do-gyeong gave him a puzzled look.

“Suddenly?”

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“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever treated you before,” Kang I-won replied, his voice quiet but steady.

After a brief moment of consideration, Heo Do-gyeong nodded.

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“Alright. But for now, sit down and eat. You woke up just in time,” he said, placing the last plate on the table.

Kang I-won walked over slowly and sat across from him. The familiar routine felt strangely unfamiliar today.

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The portion of food in front of Kang I-won was still larger than Heo Do-gyeong’s, but compared to his past meals, it was shockingly small.

His appetite, which had been gradually decreasing, had reached a point where it was almost on par with an ordinary person’s by winter. He still ate more than average, but the endless hunger that had once consumed him was now a distant memory.

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Noticing Kang I-won staring blankly at the table without touching his food, Heo Do-gyeong reached out and placed a hand on his forehead, his expression filled with concern.

“Are you feeling unwell? No fever… Or are you just still sleepy? Why do you seem so out of it today?”

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“Just… a little tired,” Kang I-won murmured, picking up a piece of golden-brown toast and taking a bite. The rich, buttery aroma tickled his nose.

As he quietly chewed on the breakfast prepared by Heo Do-gyeong, a notification buzzed on the latter’s smartphone.

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[Secretary Kim]

Glancing at the screen, Heo Do-gyeong frowned and declined the call.

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“You should take it,” Kang I-won said, watching him.

“It’s fine. It’s nothing important,” Heo Do-gyeong replied casually, placing the phone face down on the table.

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But the slight tension in his shoulders didn’t go unnoticed.

Heo Do-gyeong declined the call once more, but the phone immediately rang again. The repeated interruptions, seemingly endless, finally made him rise from his seat.

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“I’ll take this outside for a bit,” he said, his tone sharp with suppressed irritation.

Kang I-won, mid-bite of his egg, nodded silently.

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Stepping into the bedroom, Heo Do-gyeong answered the call, his voice lowered. Though faint, frustration seeped through, along with snippets of his conversation.

“I told you, I’ll handle it. Stop meddling. I’m not a child… Yes, I’ll return when I’m ready. I said I’ll take care of it! Fine. I’ll call you back later. Bye.”

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Lately, it seemed as if every other call to Heo Do-gyeong was about his return to the Center. The messages were always the same: urging him to come back, asking when he planned to resume his duties, or insisting that he had been given enough time off.

Kang I-won silently counted the months on his fingers. Three months.

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That’s long enough, he thought, closing his hand into a fist and turning his focus back to his meal.

Before long, Heo Do-gyeong returned to the dining table, his expression casual, as if the call had been nothing of importance.

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“Who was it?” Kang I-won asked, feigning ignorance.

“…My father. He wants me to stop by and see him,” Heo Do-gyeong replied, shrugging it off.

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“He mentioned that last time, didn’t he? Why not go up and visit?”

“Then come with me,” Heo Do-gyeong countered immediately.

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“That’s… not happening.”

“If you won’t come, why are you telling me to go alone?”

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It was clear Heo Do-gyeong still didn’t fully trust Kang I-won to be left alone. Over the past three months, he had structured his life entirely around Kang I-won’s, unwavering in his resolve to stay close.

Though that steadfastness was something Kang I-won had grown to rely on, it was also why he knew it was time to let him go. Prolonging this any further wouldn’t be good for either of them.

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“…Next time, we’ll go together,” Kang I-won said, his tone quieter than usual.

“Out of nowhere?” Heo Do-gyeong asked, glancing at him suspiciously.

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“I said I’d treat you to a meal, didn’t I? Let’s go to Seoul, and I’ll buy you something nice.”

And after that, he thought, I’ll leave him there and come back alone. Then I can finally take care of the things I’ve been putting off.

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The very thought of what he planned made his stomach churn. If Heo Do-gyeong found out, he would likely hate him for it.

Pushing the last piece of toast into his mouth, Kang I-won quietly studied Heo Do-gyeong’s face, as if memorizing every detail.

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* * *

The days passed in a blur, indistinguishable from one another. From the moment Kang I-won opened his eyes to the moment he closed them—and even in the moments after—each day was spent with Heo Do-gyeong. Time slipped away so quickly that it felt almost cruel. If time had a tangible form, Kang I-won might have tried to grab hold of its ankles to slow it down.

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The days flowed by peacefully, uninterrupted. Whether that was a blessing or a curse, Kang I-won couldn’t tell. Even up to the day before their planned trip, nothing out of the ordinary happened.

On the morning of their promised outing, Kang I-won woke to find snow falling outside his window. He stared blankly at the sight until a familiar voice pulled him out of his daze.

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“I was about to wake you, but you’re already up.”

“…Yeah. Did you sleep well?”

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“I did. How about you?”

“Yeah.”

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“Oh, did you see that? They’re saying it’s the first snow of the year.”

Heo Do-gyeong pointed out the window, and Kang I-won’s gaze followed his hand to the falling snow outside.

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“…I saw it.”

Watching the snow drift down, Kang I-won thought to himself, Today must be the day I send you away.

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In the past, it had always snowed when he had to say goodbye to someone.