DMDTY 1.1

[ “Living without me or dying with me. Which would you choose?”

 

“Ha!”

 

Lowell, who was reading a book in front of the fireplace, sighed instead of answering the question he had asked sometime ago.

 

In fact, I added with an embarrassed smile because I thought it was too absurd even for myself.

 

“…Is it too difficult a question?”

 

“No, it’s the opposite. Julie. It’s so obvious that it’s absurd.”

 

“…..”

 

“Of course, it’s the latter. Because it’ll be ten or a hundred times easier than the former.”

 

I was speechless at the confident tone as if there was no room for doubt. ]

 

 

⋆˙🖇️˚.⋆

 

 

Spring had arrived.

 

Spring, which came after winter, was welcomed by everyone.

 

Especially if it was a country that had just escaped from being a vassal state and had won independence.

 

The lush greenery that sprouted with peace rustled in the refreshing breeze.

 

The hills, which had been covered in snow and all white, had also regained their color, and were covered with fluffy grass.

 

If you lay down there and covered yourself with the sky as a blanket, there would be no separate paradise.

 

I thought so, putting down a piece that I didn’t want to play.

 

A faint laugh came from behind.

 

It was Jeremy, who was lying on my bed without permission, reading a book.

 

When I turned around in confusion, I saw the bed decorated with pink lace.

 

Thanks to that, I felt even worse.

 

Really, this was purely my mother’s taste.

 

“I told you to be careful, didn’t I? Behind the closet was too obvious.”

 

“If you knew, you should have helped me hide it.”

 

“I didn’t know my sister would be so stupid that she wouldn’t even notice the sword hilt sticking out.”

 

“I was just in a hurry”

 

“Well, even if I hide it, I get caught every time.”

 

“Hmph, you think you’re any different? There’s no one in the world who can fool Mother.”

 

I grumbled, pouting my lips.

 

I used all sorts of tricks to hide it well, but Mother found the hidden sword right away as soon as she saw my uneasy expression.

 

After that, a long, tiresome nagging was a predictable course of events.

 

I had no idea what such embroidery had to do with being an ideal bride, but I still picked up the needle with a look of repentance.

 

It was because I had already learned that it was the only way to end it quickly.

 

“But even you are something, Sis. You’re not even good at it.”

 

Jeremy glanced at my embroidery and shook his head, scolding me.

 

The clumsy result, which could have been a flower or the sun, seemed funny to him.

 

“Just because you like something doesn’t mean you’re good at it. You like horses, but you can’t ride them well.”

 

“I can so!”

 

“No, you can’t. The riding instructor is very worried.”

 

Riding was always Jeremy’s weakness.

 

Jeremy, who lost the argument again, huffed.

 

In fact, he wasn’t that bad for a boy who had just turned twelve, but he was no match for me, so I could tease him whenever I wanted.

 

“You should practice your embroidery. How are you going to get married like that?”

 

I gave Jeremy, who was making a last-ditch effort, a relaxed winner’s smile.

 

“How about you? No lady will marry a prince who can’t even ride a horse.”

 

Jeremy, who was very angry, puffed out his cheeks.

 

It was quite cute, so I chuckled.

 

Maybe it was because of the big age difference. When I looked at Jeremy, he felt more like a son or nephew than a younger brother.

 

The day Jeremy was born, I learned for the first time that humans could be so small.

 

They were clearly green eyes, the same color as mine, but they were so small that they looked more like stars than eyes.

 

A green star just beginning to form and emit light.

 

He drooled and constantly moved his mouth, and his cheeks were peach-like, with soft fuzz and the same color.

 

As someone with a peach allergy, I felt a tickling sensation in my toes just from looking at him.

 

Jeremy, who had been like that, had grown up so much that he even glared at me, which made me feel proud on the one hand.

 

“Just you wait. I’ll be riding better than you soon.”

 

“Well, you know, I studied abroad. Do you know how good Montague’s horsemanship is?”

 

“Tch, that was two years ago. You’ve hardly ridden since you came back.”

 

A wave of sadness washed over me at Jeremy’s words, and I habitually touched the emerald necklace around my neck.

 

‘…Has it already been that long?’

 

Two years ago, Caple, my homeland and a vassal state of Montague, launched a war of independence in alliance with neighboring countries.

 

As a hostage in Montague at the time, I enthusiastically supported them even in the ominous atmosphere, but I never expected Caple to win against Monter.

 

But Caple miraculously won, and I was finally able to return to my homeland after ten years of being a hostage.

 

I was very happy, but on the other hand, I was a little sad.

 

It was because of the friend I left behind in Montague.

 

The necklace I wore was also given to me by him, who once said it resembled my eyes and put it on me himself.

 

“Are you thinking about Romi again, that person?”

 

Startled by Jeremy’s words, I denied it a little too much.

 

I knew that excessive denial was affirmation, but Romi was always a friend who made me shy.

 

“N-No!”

 

Jeremy narrowed his eyes and stared at me as I shook my head.

 

I pretended not to notice his gaze and picked up the embroidery again.

 

I hoped that my mother’s words that embroidery was the best way to get rid of distracting thoughts would be true.

 

It had already been two years since I had heard from Romi.

 

It was perhaps natural given the precarious political situation between the two countries.

 

Montague and Caple still had many troops stationed on the border, and small-scale battles sometimes broke out.

 

To put all of that aside, he and I were in extremely political positions, so I couldn’t even write him a letter.

 

‘Mother is wrong sometimes.’

 

Even while embroidering, I was constantly lost in thought.

 

In fact, I often thought of him even when I wasn’t embroidering.

 

My friend, my Romi.

 

Jeremy, who had been watching me become depressed at the story of Romi, got up.

 

He stretched lazily like a cat in spring, got out of bed, and glanced at me.

 

“Shall we go outside?”

 

“No, Jeremy. If I don’t finish this embroidery by today, I might not get dinner.”

 

“Hmm… I have a riding lesson soon.”

 

“So?”

 

Jeremy grinned.

 

“Depending on how you do, I might tell Mother that I still can’t get on a horse by myself.”

 

My mood, which had been gloomy for a while, perked up in an instant.

 

I threw the tedious embroidery on the table as if throwing it away and jumped up. Then, I hugged Jeremy, who was looking up at me with a triumphant face.

 

You pretty thing.

 

“Oh my! Our precious royal grandson mustn’t get hurt. I’ll have to ride with you.”

 

Jeremy, who was in my arms, held out his hand as if now was the time.

 

I glared at him for a moment because I knew what he wanted, but Jeremy looked at me with an even more blatant look.

 

“Just this once.”

 

I stood on tiptoe and took out the candy hidden deep in the cupboard, with words that sounded like a promise to Jeremy or to myself.

 

It was brought from Montague and was so sweet that Mother would scold me if she knew, but bribery was necessary for a black market deal with a dark heart.

 

“Then, shall we go?”

 

Jeremy smiled brightly with his mouth full of candy, making one cheek bulge out.

 

I could already hear my mother’s nagging in my ears, but it was a day when the spring sunshine was especially brilliant.

 

If I were to be cooped up in a gloomy room on a day like this and do more embroidery that I wasn’t good at, my whole body might be twisted.

 

‘Well, childcare is also part of bride training.’

 

I roughly dismissed it like that and took Jeremy’s hand.

 

My heart, which had been heavy just a moment ago, bounced lightly with my steps.

 

 

⋆˙🖇️˚.⋆

 

 

 

Unlike his words, Jeremy got on the horse easily by himself and rode it quite skillfully.

 

He seemed to want to show off his riding skills to me, but I was too busy thinking about how to get out of there to watch him properly.

 

Because the riding instructor, Count Ionen, was looking at me with suspicious eyes, I had to pretend to help Jeremy for quite a long time.

 

And finally, when he left for a moment, I didn’t miss the opportunity and quickly rode my white horse to the outskirts of the palace.

 

I finally felt like I could breathe when the refreshing spring breeze tangled in my cheeks.

 

“Haa, I feel like I’m alive.”

 

Unlike my mother’s wishes, I was far from being modest.

 

I had played with boys since I was a child, so I had hardly ever played with dolls, which girls usually do.

 

It was all because of Romi.

 

‘I wonder how he’s doing?’

 

Suddenly, I remembered my first meeting with him.

 

It was less than a month after I started living in Montague.

 

At that time, unlike now-even if I denied it now, Romi still teased me that I was still the same-I was a very timid girl who jumped at even a small bug.

 

What I feared more than bugs was not the unfamiliar foreign land or the King of Montague, who looked at me with cold eyes, but the ‘darkness’ that came every night.

 

So, for the first few days after coming to Montague, I could barely fall asleep only after keeping the lights on brightly.

 

When the maids of Montague found out about this, they wickedly turned off all the lights in the room and even in the hallway when the sun went down.

 

Perhaps they did it to intimidate me, but it was a very harsh measure for me, who was still young.

 

When I was trapped in such pitch-black darkness, I would cover myself with a blanket and curl up, crying until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

 

The day I first met Romi was an unusually bright day.

 

Even considering that it was a full moon, it was brighter outside than inside the building.

 

As usual, I was curled up under the blanket, and I unconsciously got up and left the room like a moth drawn to light.

 

I was staying in an old detached house on the outskirts of the palace.

 

A place where no one would accidentally set foot unless they deliberately came.

 

Therefore, this place was always quiet and peaceful.

 

Well, even if that wasn’t the case, no one would come to visit the princess of a vassal state who was held hostage.

 

I left the room and walked through a small garden overgrown with weeds because no one had touched it.

 

When I reached the wall of the building past there, I leaned against it weakly and squatted down.

 

I basked in the moonlight with my whole body.

 

I tilted my head back as if I were a sunflower longing for the sun and looked at the sky.

 

Looking at the blue moonlight touching my skin, I felt like my body was a cool doll made of porcelain.

 

As if it would break at any moment.

 

I closed my eyes as it was.

 

Being in a place that was even faintly bright made me feel like the darkness that had been invading my body was fading a little.

 

As I was longing for the moon endlessly, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes.

 

My wet eyelashes, which had been wet with tears I had shed on the bed just before, had not even dried yet.

 

“…Mom.”

 

I buried my face in my knees.

 

My longing country,  my family.