DKVM Ch 26

Chapter 26

The next day, Vivian went with the two to find the memorial.

There was a tombstone in a quiet, sunny spot on one side of the cemetery.

<Isela Edelwein>

Vivian released her grip on Rahel’s hand and pulled a paper flower from her bag.

Yesterday, against Rahel’s protests, she’d managed to gather them.

When Vivian let go of Rahel’s hand, she paused for a moment but then waited patiently.

Karlz watched Vivian and the flower as she weighed it down with a stone to keep it from being blown away by the wind.

It was Isela’s favorite flower, the one she had made him a crown from.

He hadn’t told Vivian about the flowers, so Rachel must have told her.

A child who remembered her mother’s favorite flowers would surely want to come to her grave.

Karlz swallowed hard at his own foolishness in realizing this in hindsight.

He turned to Vivian and asked.

“Do you know how to honor the dead?”

“Yes, I do this every time I pray to my mom.”

Vivian nodded her head and put her little hands together to demonstrate.

“Okay, just do what you’re doing.”

Karlz bowed his head, and Vivian followed suit.

Looking at Vivian, Rahel also bowed her head.

After a few rustling sounds of leaves in the spring breeze, Rahel looked away and made eye contact with Karlz, who was looking at him [Rahel].

At that moment, his heart sank as he remembered the old man’s tears at Isela’s funeral.

Rahel quickly lowered his head again, but…

“Rahel.”

Karlz’s voice had followed.

“I need to find a way to save you, Isela, or else…!”

His heart raced and his breath caught in his throat as he waited to hear what came next.

He wanted to run away, but he couldn’t, because of Vivian, who held his hand gently. He couldn’t abandon this child and run away.

“Your mother will be so happy to see you.”

But the voice that followed, and the look in his grandfather’s eyes, was not the anger Rahel had imagined, nor the overwhelming sadness.

“If I had known things were like this, I would have brought you here sooner.”

There was a deep longing.

It intensified the moment their eyes met.

Rahel stared blankly at Karlz as he gently stroked his mother’s tombstone as if stroking a child’s hair.

“I thought you were…afraid of me. It was a cowardly rationalization.”

“…”

“Actually, it was me who didn’t have the courage to face you. Every time I look at you, I choke on the thought that I killed your mother.”

Karlz’s eyes narrowed painfully, a mixture of self-pity and regret.

But there was no resentment or anger in his eyes.

As Rahel watched him speak, for the first time he saw a resemblance between his grandfather and himself.

His blue eyes held sadness.

“I regretted it all my life. I wish I hadn’t let your mother go, right then, like that…”

“…”

“But I realize now that it’s too late to regret it, and I know I’ll regret it again when this moment passes.”

He paused, his hand stroking the tombstone, and turned his head to look at Rahel.

“I shouldn’t have let my feelings get the best of me and left you alone.”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

Rahel’s eyes widened, shaking like a tidal wave.

Karlz’s eyes and lips began to tremble as he looked at his grandchild.

He pursed his lips for a long time before he spoke.

“…This old man is foolish, and he realized it too late.”

Rahel was stunned by the sincerity of his grandfather’s words.

‘Is this something I wanted to hear? Am I angry? Or am I….’

He didn’t honestly know, but he felt a lump in his throat.

Rahel turned away, turning away from the emotions that threatened to sweep over him and walked away.

Karlz watched Rahel’s retreating backside with bitter eyes, but he didn’t call out to the child.

Vivian remained by his side.

“I don’t think it’s because she doesn’t like the Duke, just like when my dad and I had a fight and then made up, but it was awkward for a while.”

“…”

“She’s been upset for a very long time, and it’s going to take a lot longer than that.”

“…”

“But…you’ll wait, won’t you?”

The child’s thoughtful golden eyes seemed to comfort him as she asked that.

Looking into those eyes, Karlz grinned and nodded.

“…Of course.”

He could wait as long as that child had been waiting, no even longer than that.

Vivian grinned.

“Then I’ll wait with you.”

“…With me?”

“Oh, first I have to go to Rahel…to the Princess.”

The girl asked for forgiveness and pointed over to Karlz’s grandson.

When Karlz nodded in agreement, Vivian trotted straight in the direction Rahel had run.

Grinning broadly at him.

Karlz watched her pink hair flutter away, his eyes as calm as an afternoon lake.

“…Be well, Isela.”

He felt like he could move on from the irreversible past and live in the present without her.

Moreover, he wondered about the future.

“We’ll take care of ourselves.”

With those last words, Karlz walked up the path where the children had disappeared, a beat too late.

* * *

As Vivian wandered through the mansion looking for Rahel, she spotted a familiar shadow in the library.

Rahel was crouched among the bookshelves.

“You’re here?”

Vivian walked over and sat down next to her, not trying to be subtle at all.

Rahel didn’t look up, but she didn’t move away either.

After taking a moment to gauge her mood, Vivian opened her mouth cautiously.

“Rahel, did you leave earlier because you were embarrassed?”

“…”

“Or because you hate the duke?”

Rahel didn’t answer, didn’t react.

Rahel didn’t know what to call this heart-breaking emotion, so he didn’t want to show this side of himself to Vivian.

But Vivian didn’t give up.

“I want to know how you feel, Rahel.”

“…”

“I don’t know how you feel, so I don’t know what to say to you.”

She wanted to see into my feelings, to touch something I didn’t even know I had. Her careful words reflected that. [Rahel’s thoughts]

Suddenly, I remembered something Vivian had once told me.

“Friends share secrets, You comfort each other when you’re upset, you defend each other when you’re angry, you share secrets you can’t talk about, and that’s what makes them better friends.”

Even if it’s a mess of emotions, even if it’s unstable because I don’t know what to do with them…

If it’s you, you would understand.

Rahel pursed his lips and hesitated, then shook his head.

“…I don’t know.”

Happy or sad, I don’t know what I want to make of my grandfather.

Meeting Rahel’s confused eyes, Vivian blinked in surprise for a moment, before crouching down in the same position as Rahel.

“Then I’ll stay with you until you know how you feel.”

“…”

“If you cry, I’ll comfort you, if you laugh, I’ll laugh with you, if you’re angry, I’ll be angry with you.”

“…”

“Because I’m on your side.”

At that moment, her gently curving amber-gold eyes caught the sunlight and sparkled.

It was more beautiful than any gemstone.

As Rahel gazed into those eyes, the ripples in his own eyes slowly subsided.

In the midst of his confusion, Rahel was certain of this moment’s emotions.

Those eyes sparkling back at me…

I like her so much.