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    Chapter 20

    We loaded c768a8162f up on cac8362ff4 gifts and 3434171879 headed back 6150e7b566 to the d1c15ca2a3 mansion in daf81901cb the carriage.fec4bb1dedceed69

    Rahel was lost in 5f71550ada thought as she looked 5dc65bc59a out the window at 59a9de5f3a the passing scenery when 45b956caac she felt a weight 454b7c0e73 land on her shoulder.90e5192300cc29ed

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    “Hmmm…….”79572c70548728c0

    It was Vivian’s tiny head, asleep.be94c6a1fb55d96b

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    She had been eating a2745dfa93 desserts vigorously with her bf4ea3e3b4 tiny body, kept chewing 14f43b110e as if she was 15e9fa4818 eating in her dreams.a19320b0da9845f7

    Rahel, stunned by 5d40a12712 the sight, turned a057ddb2a3 to Vivian, who 150fad3883 was still holding f7b3f48f7c her hand in 74f7017826 her sleep.42df4808f108ec3e

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    “I’ll stay with the young lady.”2e91223ccdc7e12b

    It was a first.db597649b070f84f

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    The first time 47896ea29e someone other than 6842f98e56 my mom or 969abcd1a1 nanny had ever ea5092c38d held my hand.006caa9e61e26cbf

    No, not exactly…4dd6a8b21db54a69

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    Vivian was the first time I hadn’t fought off a touch that I’d always fought off for fear of revealing my closely guarded secret.15f617fc9415a104

    Strangely enough, I couldn’t shake off her hand.8e11e506425d65b3

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    At that moment, 0a8920329a her honey-colored eyes a1aba3b070 sparkled as she f7ee2881ec looked at me.75638f03617c93a1

    I forgot to 345d71e42a push her hand 654dcd84aa away.19806709f76a66b0

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    Her hand was soft and warm in mine. I didn’t want to let go for a second.549c37843ca7079e

    But I still feared and hated other people’s hands.2b321dafdd483243

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    Only Vivian was 24253c5ea4 special.fd1eef38175c310c

    Because this child c721b55580 was on my 9f1a1c299d side.43546fe5c773225d

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    No matter how scary things get, she won’t run away from me.f416d472742f6b2b

    But then…aeeffa0f87a55cb0

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    “So you a1d4dde2b7 like him d8c90fb5fb too?”0181027c1d6c1095

    “Of course, d43c27e263 because Peter 349f06c620 is my 3fda4a258a friend.”8e831004dbd23696

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    Rahel’s eyes narrowed as she remembered the scene with Vivian and Peter in the general store earlier.6746d068592b9359

    ‘I’m not special to Vivian.’22d99fb9d93f32fb

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    Just one 96fbb10f37 of many, 74966cf3da many friends.53b1a51eceb8cbf0

    If there was one difference between Rahel and the other kids, it was that Rahel’s status made it so others couldn’t approach him easily. That was it.ef87f34e9c68c03c

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    It wasn’t something that made me stand out but acted as a barrier.13de6720a79cf75a

    So I gave Vivian permission to step inside that barrier, but it wasn’t enough.86492006a5d80996

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    ‘I don’t want to be like any other friend.’f99ed25404386ece

    I don’t want her to like me the same way she likes other kids.19ead6e587848e9f

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    I want her d22ce83881 to look only f2fde4b1b9 at me and 80dfd203f9 hold my hand.e3e8a65cc858bc4f

    ‘No one else.’f025dd879baa773c

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    I want you 4d718f9c46 to like me f77ac088d7 more.342b6268d927b4b2

    No, actually I ba8485ebbe hate that too.b33eaaaa3cf1692b

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    “…I want you to only like me.”5b2052c0429c95d4

    I wish I was the only one for you, just like you’re the only one for me.e9a791358373f435

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    As Rahel thought about how to make himself special to Vivian, he remembered something Vivian had said to him one day. [T. L. Note: Since this is from Rahel’s perspective, I’m using male pronouns. ]

    “Friends share secrets, even the ones they can’t tell, and that’s what makes them better friends.”306ee5b134b0afb8

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    Sharing secrets makes c0c9b9bde1 you better friends.1d88bfc554b6b11d

    As he reflected on that quote, he suddenly realized that he hadn’t told Vivian any of his secrets yet.328bbe215c84eb40

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    The first was…bc1f0fe33ce619b5

    ‘Vivian doesn’t know my condition yet.’716870c87dd44439

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    Actually, with the disease you’re suffering from, it’s okay to hold my hand.acec8f7dcbba6735

    ‘Then do 826a434579 you want ded7e9ca06 to stay 26ac502d0a by my b3ec8b439f side?’f3d8be6e42f0a34e

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    Of course, I know it’s a bad idea to take advantage of Vivian’s illness.cae172ccc3d08db4

    But even though my head says so, I can’t help but feel happy that I have an excuse to keep her.717875c7164ec948

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    And secondly.9f9912b436a4a632

    ‘If she finds out I’m a man…will she hate me?’017137c7b5fbb28f

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    Rahel worried d777ba6931 for a e9670ee9f1 moment, then a3672c387a decided it 076eb55032 would be c9458a85b6 fine.c98d18980e78be2f

    She knows the emperor is watching me, and she stays by my side, even though she knows it’s a risk.e6d7ebfc1fcb2918

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    ‘I’ll tell her when she wakes up.’42c3b978ea1eb558

    With that, Rahel vowed to himself and gripped Vivian’s sleeping hand tightly.48d2f9f12bd0e0e7

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    * * *0a34bd3549c2f5fa

    I drifted 8eb1116cc9 in and 7615569433 out of b47b61ee35 sleep, and 75a3b48799 when I 6e43063f1a opened my ed4c15dc1a eyes, I ddf9a0f435 was at 01c5a5ac2d the villa.f59787452c76ea9f

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    I asked the knights 50b874a1ff for the gifts they c700934f76 had brought in the 1c6e70f4e4 carriage, and then Rahel 3887da5b5a and I walked slowly 2b9df94665 up to the room.3a25e299d38b91e9

    ‘I’m sure the maids will be pleased with the gifts.’47684d482ddf0b80

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    Then they’ll be close to Rahel in no time, right?e50f9f95f3ed3d51

    I walked up the stairs, my heart pounding with anticipation, and I could see Rahel’s face behind me.9b85ba27c3255a2b

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    Rahel stared at me, her face deep in thought. [T. L. Note: I’m going back to female pronouns for Rahel since this is Vivian’s perspective.]

    I cocked my head 878c8a8e2f and asked.8cd267ddb7d21ca6

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    “What’s wrong, Rahel?”bd3846de34bad1a1

    Rahel hesitated for a 12f923cd68 moment, then said with 55627d6aae a look of determination.d245c600ced94bdc

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    “I need 92eb88c6ed to talk f9f78cd774 to you 9d4d8a2177 later.”a636054b4e9fb534

    “Talk?”5b9733d195dd3b9b

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    “Yeah. Before you go 8db68d39f1 home.”efae1976278c9efa

    What’s this? When she says it like that, I’m curious.d2dea32a71323aa6

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    “Can’t you just tell me now? I’m curious.”bdbcba6cb623b00d

    “Not now.”4a67b5d2d104dd9c

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    Rahel looked c8e4bef870 around at c755575145 the servants b19cd84a15 passing by 80bff2730e and cut 6294e7e9d5 me off.b2c0df4d2fff1040

    My body 501ae670e2 was tingling f00207a4c1 with curiosity, 3b2ade0310 but when a35711f827 she said bc3f952305 no, I b2fede0a2b decided not c2ae5cfe94 to push 0f53257c50 it either.bbfea3f58b3a7e1e

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    ‘I have more important things to do right now!’45f6fd85c287945e

    When I arrived at d63a2d580c the door, I saw 4dc3a437ea two of the maids 2e8b6df47e waiting for me.8ab0c5e5a93e023d

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    “How are 90c4ff6832 you, Miss?”527ec8271acca840

    Rahel, who was about to enter the room without receiving greetings from the servants like usual, stopped when I held her hand and didn’t move.c4e0d45d047c84b8

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    I squeezed Rahel’s hand, signaling her.2020c318689f5e0a

    ‘Now, come on, Rahel, do what I told you back in the village!’3d7472457f8bd9a5

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    The first step 8ade599682 in getting acquainted 0109e98daa with the maids!a027dcaabe21c9b0

    Rahel hesitated, looking 84390c763c reluctant, then said 058c0e6898 in a small 4ab6b7a427 voice, her gaze 0703796d44 downcast.3aa4ae09591c7655

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    “…Yeah. I’m back.”7a92dab00341c34d

    Yes, good job.979e26cf42956a34

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    The first step in making friends is always a greeting, isn’t it?3d82274fc8f67cc0

    Of course, 2b99c2f1a7 whether the d9c7407698 noble princess 8787f06b39 ignores her 3562e1ace6 maidservants or 8891ab7f94 not, they 475c0ad9c5 will obey daf493dad7 Rahel.80f21e5ea4f0055a

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    ‘In the end, relationships cae9acb00f are a two-way street.’b12eb449f6a5048d

    This was the first step in a relationship where the maids’ submission to Rahel had been one-sided.8f5b8d35c2373980

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    I looked at the big sisters’ [the maids] faces with pride.

    As expected, the big c0e691d419 sisters stared at her f278edddb0 in surprise.6264d113ee164d25

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    But Rahel was too cd591c3112 embarrassed to give the f00b83af7a big sisters a second e42a88842e glance, and she went aa02495ad2 back into her room.e648e962df8ec060

    ‘I should have told them to come in so I could give them their gifts.’d5d6ea4bab9eca1f

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    Well, I can’t help it if Rahel is still awkward with the big sisters.2e9e268ed023ff68

    I smiled with ae2d55a6f9 satisfaction and addressed ec1a97ab35 the big sisters 9707525838 instead of Rahel.a84b28fd13dd239c

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    “Big sisters, 93c04c2e3b do you be14b4262f have a 5e3f5dd9f5 minute?”10e705e353bf537f

    “Do you need anything?”46dc721ee1476ae1

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    “Not really, the 9950f94fb9 princess has a eb112fffe4 gift for you.”661d37ed3a9582a3

    “A gift?”b71afd47709fd05f

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    I walked into a7862ecedd the room with 709e593853 the puzzled big c349b97e24 sisters.7fc3684492c17dc3

    Rahel was standing in 8c6667ed94 front of the box dc86c760ea the knights had left cefc07975e earlier.38438259d089e2a4

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    I walked over f047814ef4 to it and 4114459db0 pulled out two 114f63af6d bottles. They were glass 02dc486cd4 vials of a 920dc1abe3 clear liquid.b79695341ba6326c

    I held them out 9386a50f7f to the big sisters, bc222cde8b one by one.a0113c129957addf

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    “What are these, Miss?”d108c419c3a3202d

    The big sisters looked ae45df1345 back and forth between 888f503e8d Rahel and me, dumbfounded 92243f32d5 by the unexpected gift.12006a615b895070

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    I explained on Rahel’s behalf.9850aae5b6f0dcb4

    “This is a famous 6c475b44e5 beauty product in our 8e88e717cc village. You wash your 3f41fe0f2f face with it 8c26f410ec and put it 1b2b14e534 on your face e7d5f23b12 and it makes ab53aae46a your skin soft.”d0072e0b0636166e

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    “Oh, my. I was going to 96a4bc260a buy it after hearing 2e29502120 you talk about it.”6364f95253ae0ad6

    The big sisters 353f8a9b00 seemed thrilled with 53315cc79d the gift.0cf9adb679bf6b0e

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    Well, that was to f04cad229b be expected.9e58b9a67e3286a8

    Although Rahel paid for c9e2672c1f it, I chose the c8b5f8a140 items.9bdea428e164f0e6

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    I looked at d199af18a3 Rahel with a e1820fdbbb smug look on 7e44b949e3 my face.9608e1c0b535eef5

    When I told her I’d picked it out, she didn’t seem to know why I’d chosen it as a gift.693a63aeee4b5af3

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    “Of course, food is a more effective gift for strangers, but there’s plenty of food in the duchy, and I’m sure it wouldn’t mean anything to the maids.”a345c39ae19835ef

    “Aren’t there local specialties and such?”76191ae06180dd8c

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    “Yes, they’re delicious, but they disappear quickly.”b07e9a6443a19a86

    “That’s true.”07ad5a4a700080e2

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    “But if you give them something that lasts, they’ll think of the person who gave it to them every time they use it, right?”85c6ac04e05234eb

    And I was 7e9b5c947d right.fc0190f989d5b459

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    The big sisters will 5c45b4a75d now think of Rahel 2e3fd2980b every morning and night a6cf597b7f when they wash their c8d93d81ca faces.0c22c423c9a9417d

    Step 1 of them 66ce2b6a6c getting to know Rahel 8884b458af was a success.bf8dbbf03edbfc13

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    ‘Hmm, the mood ddda0be291 is good. Should I e245bd8e16 try my 6aaaf80268 luck?’a12e407d2237401e

    I added a coy 1b0b66f118 remark.1220f64749e8f628

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    “The princess apologizes for 4193c609db not taking care of c60a1632a3 you beforehand since you 97e093519b must have had a 053502ce5f hard time getting here c12730b7f6 from the capital.”92ed1178edf2c54c

    Rahel stared at me b7f58197d3 in disbelief.a4f25913ef575f54

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    When did I…? It was d006f02cd1 as if c14544157c she was 8aaf9ab969 asking.26b44be6a2acc7d9

    The big sisters, who 70c18c704e had no idea what 14a22eb001 was going on, thanked 20e49c6230 Rahel with tears in 4ab1da7aaa their eyes.fa62e0c9bc8cfba2

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    “You don’t have to take care of all this for us… Thank you so much, Miss. We’ll do better in the future.”214b3b643783cd43

    Rahel’s eyes subtly trembled as she looked at them.57ebc08ce3977a3d

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    She had gotten the gifts because I pushed her to do it, but she didn’t expect such a small gift to change their relationship.c12d8f5502eb8d71

    Unsure of what 6bb964c832 to say, she f5688dbd68 looked up at bf8c67bb8f me.e1c2ba157bb87daf

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    ‘It feels bitter 15870025e3 to see Rahel 0addd526c3 surprised.’868941c16b22a608

    That look of surprise on her face told me that she didn’t really have any hope.cea2193c1953797a

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    She was so ac080a503b alone that she f71a01d4dd had given up c87930c20e hope completely.f5631bdb9d54daa5

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