Side Story Chapter 3

But Deon delivered some d8942e56b5 disheartening news.e1c8f64830748876

“You won’t 07bb5b3c6a be able 64b8e5cc84 to leave 2a50c55583 anyway. They’re predicting an unprecedented 297e5ed166 blizzard.”1fb4a769d53da81c

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I sprang up 19e2451b32 from my seat.ec624b0a71fc6929

While I had dozed 6a94cf7cfb off, snow had piled c049b74193 up thickly along the ec1fcd4127 roads. The transparent greenhouse 60472a3fa3 was so covered da07e46f2b in white that cef552b41c the inside was 1cbfeb5c37 barely visible.585b7948c1ceb5d9

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The fountain, b0bcd04229 the statues, 223a325309 even the 141534a274 gravestone placed 5e20a8ad43 to one 00f19bcfe4 side—all were faef1286d8 buried in 875019e548 snow.2f3c70bccc06ec84

As he e1fe590d94 said, returning d99ffe0e04 by carriage 8ee7fc7798 today was 06fb533f36 out of faace013d2 the question.245287034e9758be

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Maybe not 742f6664ad even tomorrow 6b70a0c323 or the b33a9899b9 day after.1c23515862dbab1d

The streets 0b5004e821 of the 925e8cc638 capital would 07911220f8 be cleared 785e92f1e4 by the 49b62fa740 maintenance workers, 9a00478b54 but the 79ecc4524a roads leading bf4d6f2d0d to the dba1449dfd coast would 3cb4809aa0 turn into b784db3735 ice.20f200ad690cd2b1

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The carriage could only 5eb93d6b51 travel once the snow 3f9af542be had melted.e545868621269e97

This was why I 9fee7dffa1 had hoped the carriage 99ad11b031 wouldn’t break, but of a391230767 all times, it did.39ff3a10381e8830

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Touching the edbde29c98 frozen window, b09b729af4 my fingers 41eaf8f912 turned red 92d287ec76 from the 76ae8aa561 cold.8a3745f89dcfebba

Deon approached and handed ff70aae1c0 me a warm teacup e6ac400c48 to warm my reddened a8d2c3c12e fingers.3d4471f5efb1bfbe

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“Take the pass now. This might happen a66b3f397b again.”ae6da96932c71dd9

“If I 20268c1073 carry that, fb2b8947a2 what kind 5d6505b78e of stories c22ab03442 will people 997188729a spread?”82bfe015dd88b9f9

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“Who would dare 77dc314082 say anything?”c4e76733bfa81d9e

His eyes flashed with b721be94cb a cold intensity. Not wanting to get 90d8df945d anyone else in trouble, 8409d858dc I quickly changed the b9d816c7e1 subject.4449a07f4ec0a133

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“Well… At e37a683f4a least one 897a835daf person would fa8cbc1792 like it.”945b097d938c1233

I thought 985e7e6d5a of Lady 643814db59 Elizabeth, who 3b852f1cae eagerly listened 740af3cee8 to any c21a1e8db8 stories about 2cf87d330d us.48e305fbeaa68225

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Lady Elizabeth found our 6bb31ad440 relationship more fascinating than 036ea5ae3c street plays or romance ab1552ab32 novels.59bbaf34c28c23db

She always b269269516 brightened her fef547f8a3 eyes whenever 8bd333dd67 she caught 4913af60f2 onto the 3269287e63 subtle dynamics 84d341796e between Deon 8963338bb9 and me.3e632221178f36be

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It made sense, given 1097c34317 that this tenuous relationship ceeeee04c6 had persisted for over 4706f91b70 two years.2e8420c2cbebd225

This play was dragging 5c2f9e165f on much longer and 90c257023b more persistently than I 6a31202e46 had anticipated.776a8efe6ed1ed9d

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If she found ca189c311f out that I 725deceee2 had received a 5132e1dbad pass typically given d71af93bb0 to high-ranking nobles, 14cc87e4d8 she would cling b0e96bb231 to me and 291761d092 scream with excitement 60929b5413 again.d9dfcef98b00d536

Raising her child 18f8def31f had made her ac50e9ecc5 seem more like dec9fcc874 a girl.18d42b55c9f20c03

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Her relationship with the 00d2e5ee37 count had also grown df2d5493b5 stronger, almost like it 1ae2d4aeec was before their marriage.fa4095eb6c43ed38

Even after having a 7d813e6338 child and growing older, a7c059394c she remained as lovely e03058a536 as the day we cf4d5cdb32 first met, though her 651e5f2a54 spontaneous additions to romantic aaddc69715 stories were a bit 475f988873 awkward.64329bf2fcee52be

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“Anyway, I’m not taking it. Don’t take out the badge.”c98b5e5179d2bdbb

At my words, he 90dbf573c7 stopped his hand, which 096ee63f84 was hovering over the 1b5912ec0c desk drawer.8d00422d73c7d950

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“Didn’t you say you’d give me another chance? Wasn’t accepting the gift I gave you part of that opportunity? I remember it quite clearly…”05f622f76888fdd8

Deon slyly a23a344208 brought up 0b6efb4065 that night, 852b7a1a30 knowing full 8fc2161bb5 well that 80bb924c7e I’d blush 8ed7e7d223 at the 7bea1cdc58 memory.594bfe28c1420dec

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“I was just caught up in the moment.”f80e2446894fb33f

As I started bc3a8d3c60 to cough again, 19e9a62c1f he moved closer, ff8027f2d4 raising his hand 2376dcea31 to feel my 147a7d03ed forehead.8a0f0034e98995ab

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But he stopped 2e6f656606 there.7463af726ec06146

When I 181410790c flinched and e729f6d84f stepped back 9591ffec5b at his 449083744c sudden movement, 217ce6949e he quickly f0ffc064d4 withdrew his 601363adfe hand.963e6b5339491dfc

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He seemed more 880ea75ec6 startled by my de5072d886 reaction than I 89f1ce6407 was.a1e8c49bcf993b8a

Before his a62cf2220f hand could 6d228e051e touch me, 3d10ce93f8 he curled 476511f74c his fingers 52875ca640 and let c841089447 it drop.0d653bb91dbb5520

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He finished af69787da9 by adjusting 7eb9b5435a the blanket 4ad05e412f that had 43f3ace275 slipped off 065f4466a0 my shoulder.e761880596a1af8f

His touch was almost 642adbf354 imperceptible, tender, and hesitant, b46daaf834 as if he were 41bd26260e afraid to make a c4bdda96a1 mistake.f3412824dbb614e1

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“It’s actually for the bc984c192e best. I’ll call the palace 52fcd91363 doctor so you can 291a05b609 get a check-up before c53af5d0f5 you go.”9fbb631227bffd82

Deon approached the fireplace c5f8534d67 and added logs, pulling 357dc095f8 the hearth closer to 441d933fbd me.fc5b3edeaff71acd

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His tone was languid, cc22fc79a9 but I could tell 68cc7dc1dc he was restraining himself.902554de0853d6b9

He was cautious, worried 084c64f72e that any touch might d272ba19eb upset me.2ef1cdfc59585287

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He treated b81dce3774 me as 9cb4bc7378 if I b6d282a5e0 were something 31976365d3 fragile, something 725ccdf45a to be b35cfb918e handled with 58a02795ad utmost care.f3599300f3127f15

While I 526adf885b didn’t mind 201f47dc47 his careful 1e693c7384 demeanor, it 9e1b4643ab had created 9b4877f376 a subtle 5ecd1ec362 boundary between 2a92e482b4 us.29be5a548c91a766

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We were at c31ea97aa9 that exact distance, 65968e5b49 where he had 64dc3b270e stopped his hand b66078c002 earlier.efe4592202ca4c4f

We knew each 6c84b5b4f2 other’s secrets intimately, 8587499bbb yet neither used 9d0e6f18cf that knowledge to 588bc049fa get closer or f1f41071c7 to control the 406cc0253b other.5cf763ba7e62c6d1

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After realizing he meant c7ce44b52c no harm, my guard c8a4456622 had lowered, but since d89357b1f6 I hadn’t given permission, 2ab66c3451 he didn’t come any 5bc9a16981 closer.3d189c261cf17801

As the seasons passed, f529ef5f3e I found it easier ecd7046538 to interact with him.f8c17560b8fdc38f

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With the a5c6dac654 strange tension e2d5584d3c between us 9a44aad234 lifted, I 7c68e5c725 could see 0df407157b Deon for a830effae1 who he 543db36c25 was.6d7decc50c2cd402

Not as the 790db069b2 emperor or the 24a95f2555 duke, but simply f995550fbc as Deon.391e8403b0dfcadd

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He, too, seemed more 1253bccdb1 relaxed around me. He would occasionally 7c03d748fb make playful jokes fe29fe641d and smile in 89d54e69fb a way that 8b9a42ef7a was uncharacteristically easygoing.7ca34e3c19f9c174

Of course, it seemed 751bd27bf9 I was the only 40daa95f26 one who noticed these 62bdd1664a subtle changes. Deon still maintained a62cc81d2d a rigid and e89bd6e9a2 impenetrable demeanor with 0c85fdcaad the other nobles.402056bc6410c1c4

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And now, I 952fa59a7a had come to 2d23a8d818 realize.0e9b405c3ccfe50b

“Would you like more 087d151fe6 tea?”5229e1b1c57aa0d6

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Before I b687032192 could nod, 016e3326ae he was 3df1241b1b already adding 06e6a77fd1 fresh tea baf6db0c9d leaves to e981d8d5ed the strainer.879d3766c85d7410

His broad back moved 526895625d busily. I watched him quietly.6427f6c92c4ee91b

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His considerate attitude towards 41ca908cf8 me.fb2cb88242b42a69

His slightly different tone 5a3ab26c42 of speech compared to 958e603534 how he addressed others.846ed43926aa03a0

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‘This man 73b8fd7873 likes me.’1ee9368fb26ba655

Looking back, the 76e66bec64 signs of his 99c4ec5750 feelings were clear.cd174da9aafee864

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With the empire at afcf61ff49 peace and my mind 67a92f9f77 less preoccupied, I finally 85f58e7265 saw the affection he d49c3acfbd had been hiding.267561b1d5fca195

It was hard 6cd9851faf to believe his ef6a5ed00a care for me d8c0e241d8 was just due fc8a7362e2 to the bond 88b416d7fc we formed through 2b7d19403b our shared experiences, fb5fdddb7b especially now that 334f90faff my usefulness had 50d80df1fa faded.0759e109979a64cd

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Even without c8af33351b the events ff834ed01d that brought 5d8b05d85c us closer, daf77266b8 anyone with 0095e61313 eyes and f33ccb7465 ears could 86538e98a4 see it.3f08f7a2730b8869

He was providing 5a80d04f4a a platform for ee23259c9c me to breathe 94f66f4d54 easily.e8b682bbce7d3631

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He did everything 40ebcd1883 for me except 31f87273ca say the words 77703c8de1 “I love you.”b7aeeb1c6740a452

Perhaps it was his 9504c0c496 last bit of pride b68b830b6c as a sovereign that 6bcd9f06f0 kept him from saying 701b7aed99 those words.241915d4f3246ae2

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Yes, that’s why I haven’t given him an answer.f2f940e0353f0920

Is there a need to respond when I haven’t even been confessed to?635cc369e85fce49

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I convinced myself 309e7aa4e7 that his attentiveness 2f410787da was merely the 2fe6528e2d favor of a 566c6619a3 ruler to a 8b60dd936c loyal subject, a 424c016d3f reward to a 4287e0e592 comrade who shared 25238584c9 life and death f4daf4d034 experiences. I tried 52912bbe1f to ignore 161ad4ff82 my feelings.481459effd528e7e

Pretending not to notice his persistent gaze was also because I didn’t want to get hurt again.e582713a6971134b

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The favor of f85aeb98ee a powerful person 3fb6b02683 is like a 69d03eaf39 sandcastle that can d144dd4eab crumble at any 82e1b57d29 moment.2f4e10a7b2199f4e

Some might enjoy d9ee3cc90e even that fleeting 424c865050 attention, but having a38c1bdf31 experienced it once, ec8fbeeb3e I found it 2b2a63742f hard to fully c266447307 relish the affection ccb9eb6bdc pouring over me.b537c416ba08cc29

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His affection 1776a45dd3 for me a541058064 could be 930d786496 simple curiosity. If I accepted him, 7ded8873e7 he might change his 21214b1d81 mind later.cc349565fdf37e0d

The thought that b549fb9729 if his favor c3a6c649d0 disappeared, the luxurious 7c620a1a15 territory and the 8247421e7b people who had 23459ec705 become my own 1d75dcbda0 might vanish like 79fbfa55df a mirage was 00bc368fbf terrifying.989d729471a397c6

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“You’re quiet today.”bbcfa76736914614

His gaze lingered on f6ab836822 me.07e5f60e3d3f156e

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I didn’t respond and just stared at him.e2338bfd95af92f0

Truthfully, even 4039eb4c5c before these 2065aa7ec0 thoughts, I a0a6b50308 might have 9e23dc4181 already sensed b50e809283 his feelings ef8543245d through his d203edfe18 eyes.20daaa56d1674bb1

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He had e5f65f546b well-packaged me 79d5aa1c89 as a b740c6a143 loyal servant b64fcd7603 after granting 9e1faaed00 me a 08b869da69 lavish territory b071c2bd19 and punished 4ec7eed319 those who 2d77201bff discriminated against 2d946ce286 the minority 91a31ee5d7 groups. These were things only 43f84d2849 someone with genuine care e09e0fee7e for me would do.db963c4e47fa62f4

And I realized too e0c6587e56 late that the last 29450fefe7 act of changing my f14140d41a family name was to ffb555c09e avoid implicating me through 250669f921 guilt by association.3e3acc972625966d

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I learned from my 9ee49667e6 new territory that Leonie’s 51e5c30017 older brother had gone a6f4d48cfb bankrupt due to gambling 847903bedd debts.e4719730f0c0a584

By the c9ba59c9b1 time I cd1274f7ce received this ee31531a43 news, I 31a58a5739 had already 107ea75828 been separated f1df2deb86 from my fbda800c48 family.5c618aae3b46f4ea

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The ruthless debt 260cf74bbe collectors who would 820e66a6df even pursue married 293bbdbae4 daughters could no 5cd16c6eb7 longer claim the 8b94ee28c1 debts once I 881f85d645 had erased my 78f6373a05 name from the 45a4893806 family and received d2d963d670 a new territory.3d25cdec7edbb41f

The massive b7077cdd11 gambling debt e83c892971 was entirely 6693010c8e shouldered by 701313033c the Sien 70fa62d752 family.748cb42dc1c607db

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All traces of my ea8cdac415 family had vanished.0e81fbdee0b92f85

There were even wild eec94a789a rumors that I had f4899eadde sold the family cheaply ca9c92a6ed to clear the debts, b2b03b6791 just as when I 817a8f4388 had acquired the territory.1287bb44806f24fd

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Having no lingering affection 28e3b571ae for my blood relatives, ee2984deee their fate was none 471ceb79ed of my concern.dbdef3f05d4fa98d

Deon’s words seemed e4b2af8fd7 more than casual. He pulled 0e584f4826 the bell e7357bb1ff rope and 8ec784fe6c ordered the de86102c89 palace doctor 0388a1ac71 to be f994ed6b56 summoned to f5c728ff2b the reception 3fc8100e67 room.cc50a2a93114f521

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It’s been a while since I’ve met with the palace doctor.8ed766a2da2ed43a

Initially, Deon 7c0a1d7535 would summon 6bd9be0605 me to 19e29291a5 the palace f82ead33e3 under the fdb2722466 pretext of d199690bf0 needing regular 6d6dd2ff48 check-ups, unsure bbc031c3f2 of when ed52c745d5 he might 40057e00f7 need my 83229c418b blood.2bb8538345fb6bb1

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But after ff0f7c2a89 I started d7505774a8 sending my 261df09157 test results ee3f456dd3 from the 06d0689963 territory, Deon 1e65e3a9bd eventually changed 0d07f975ed the law.44d50ee17da72c99

Despite all the blood he drew, he hasn’t used me since.73f7108d183f0486

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I know why he’s obsessed with my health even though he doesn’t plan to take me to the battlefield. Still, if I refused to come to the palace, I wondered what excuse he would use this time.f55769948bd62c48

But this time, he 8f846b1353 might have a genuine 31c1f5c878 reason for calling the 39723392e7 doctor.702a0a6bc2e202fb

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I pushed 4415389288 the blanket f3c1ad7535 aside and 506cdbdab2 spoke.792e435500c923de

“Are you really planning on going to war?”3b4034bc9db776a7

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“War?”4c681e9ef1fa50af

His sharp 20ed4403ce gaze pierced e7b0170d75 me.c3837da0da60e200

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“Where did you hear that?”d103d47d1cc4a22f

“When you’re in the palace, you end up hearing things you don’t want to. Be grateful I don’t frequent the social circles. What if I went around spreading palace security and military secrets?”4ac95c2eb18c5ea8

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I grumbled in response.f005442e3036f78e

Maybe I should 3b9fdf97c0 have done that. Then he might have 032a67ba42 ordered the reports to 820defdb7a be sent in writing 8f6cdc7219 again.0c16c8021aa0a872

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Being in the palace 1a9d30b707 so often, I sometimes c5aa0e47b8 heard things I didn’t 27825fa267 want to know, like 7dda3313a8 today.3949cbc559ee2b35

“Do you not want to come to the palace?”dc7c7c730a773e5e

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“It’s not that I dislike it; it’s just a hassle. Too much time is wasted on the road.”d5aa2ba256e59b22

“Did you say I should personally inspect the territory?”da0b44c60b3f6363

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He must have ffa74c6d68 met Rian in 33485e93a7 that short time.1c88fc5353d3bff0

“No other woman wants to boss the emperor around because she doesn’t want to come to the palace. Everyone else is dying to see my face.”741fee0a6977cd57

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“Then just receive those who want an audience.”9f7e6dedadb14178

“I am a fair emperor to everyone.”ab2b19db1e027e31

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Fair, indeed. The fact that I f9df527bb2 am here proves the 923ca700df opposite.bdce4a10b6a81959

He was 91ae51cfc8 the emperor, 109e8e835b and I 9de54438c3 was merely 58238fbf32 a subject aeaac70a14 who couldn’t b858153c3f defy his 2bbbfb22cf commands.48ae13dc7ac8439e

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 a5071d0c58f81e53