CMT Ch6

2.

“You are the hope of our family, Seoyoon.”

Uncle, now called father by Seoyoon’s adoptive father, had often said that from some point on.

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“You should live loved, our puppy.”

A bit longer ago, before passing away, grandfather used to stroke Seoyoon’s head and recite that like a habit.

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“Our Seoyoon is so pretty. Oh my, oh my? He’s standing up now, standing up!”

Many of the words his adoptive parents must have said to him were now mostly forgotten. Fortunately, a few videos taken when he was young remained, keeping their voices vivid in his ears.

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Though specific memories had eroded with time, the happy feelings and bright atmosphere he felt with his birth parents remained in a corner of Seoyoon’s heart like a faded painting.

“Hey, hey. Han Seoyoon.”

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Sometimes in Seoyoon’s dreams, those once sparkling times would visit. Mainly when he wanted to escape reality, like today.

“Stop lying there sleeping and get up!”

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Seoyoon, immersed in the sweet past, was awakened from his dream by a shout as his hair was grabbed. As soon as he opened his eyes, one of his cheeks stung.

He rubbed his hot cheek with an expressionless face. His eyes met those of his brother, the intruder beside the bed, who was breathing heavily with anger. Naturally, his gaze followed the brother’s right hand. The palm that had just slapped his cheek was unnaturally spread out.

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“Shit, you… How can you sleep so peacefully now? After ruining the family atmosphere, you can sleep comfortably alone? If it were me, I wouldn’t have been able to close my eyes out of guilt towards father.”

Seoyoon silently raised himself. Glancing at the phone clock beside him, it was 4 AM.

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The brother, who seemed to have just come home after a late night of entertaining, reeked of strong alcohol. Sighing, Seoyoon got up from the bed.

“You should go in quietly and sleep. Both of them are sleeping.”

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“You idiot! Do you know how much father and mother struggled to set up that matchmaking meeting? They went around bowing their heads everywhere, sucking up to everyone. Shit, if you went to such a place, shouldn’t you have brought back at least one thing even if it cost you your life? What… you didn’t match? Want your mouth ripped? You should have died instead of coming back, getting rid of that uselessly high-class mouth!”

“He said he doesn’t like men.”

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At Seoyoon’s casually thrown words, his brother blinked with a distorted expression as if he couldn’t understand. A hollow laugh followed, as if to say it was ridiculous.

“What? …Doesn’t like men? Who? You?”

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“Kwon Kijung.”

“Shit, acting all high and mighty… Hey, you alphas and omegas don’t care about that stuff. For you guys, isn’t it just about matching pheromones?”

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“Kwon Kijung seems to care.”

“…Ha, that bastard…. Then why did he agree to the matchmaking first? Did he want to play with our family? If we had known he wasn’t interested in men, father wouldn’t have needed to struggle to push you in.”

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It seemed like their grandfather had insisted on sending someone out without any real interest, but Seoyoon kept his mouth shut, knowing that explaining the truth would only provoke more anger.

As expected, his brother couldn’t calm his anger and raised his voice in a burst.

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“Then you should have just crawled back!”

The room was dark, but sparks flew before his eyes. The sudden impact didn’t even give time to scream.

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Seoyoon only gaped at the sharp pain that attacked near his eyebrow before clenching his teeth tightly. The titanium-framed phone that had hit Seoyoon’s face and fallen to the floor slid back towards the feet of the person who had thrown it.

“Can’t you be quiet!”

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Just as the real beating was about to begin, a thunderous shout came from the open doorway. When the brothers turned their heads to look, their father was standing there with his eyes wide open.

“Han Seokyung! If you crawled in when it’s almost dawn, you should quietly go to sleep, not cause a ruckus when your father and mother are trying to sleep!”

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“Father. Don’t you feel wronged?”

“Will the result change because you’re doing this? If you had done well in the first place, your only brother wouldn’t have needed to go to such a matchmaking meeting.”

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“Father!”

“Get out of here now!”

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Suddenly, loud voices echoed through the previously quiet house. Seoyoon lowered his head silently like a wild animal avoiding thunder. His brother, who had been hesitating, glared at Seoyoon with a face that looked like he wanted to spit, then abruptly left the room.

“That boy, he’s grown older but still hasn’t matured…”

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Clicking his tongue, the father’s gaze turned towards Seoyoon. Seoyoon was still slightly bowing his head. The father clicked his tongue once more.

“You should understand. Seokyung worked hard to set up today’s meeting.”

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“I’m sorry.”

“Even if you’re upset, what can we do? Don’t worry too much. It’s not like Director Kwon is the only suitable alpha out there, I’ll try to arrange another good meeting.”

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He didn’t have the face to say that wasn’t necessary.

“Go back to sleep. I need to go check on your mother. She must have been startled by the sudden loud noise.”

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“Yes, I’m sorry. Please go rest.”

The door closed. Once the argument between father and brother ceased, the house became quiet as if nothing had happened.

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Instead of lying down again, Seoyoon sat at his desk. The outside visible through the window was still pitch black, with not even the dawn light having arrived yet.

Last night, when Seoyoon returned home, he relayed Kwon Kijung’s words to his waiting father and mother. As Kijung had said, that he had come out because his grandfather wanted him to, but they should consider it a mismatch.

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Father complained that it made no sense to say their hearts didn’t match, asking how they could expect to match from the very first meeting. To convince his parents, Seoyoon had no choice but to be honest in the end. He said that Kijung didn’t like male omegas. Just like that.

At that reason, even father seemed to lose his words and fell silent. Like his brother, he muttered “If you didn’t like it, you should have said so from the beginning,” but that was all.

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Although father and mother had apparently put themselves out there to set things up, it was Cheongkwang’s side that first directly proposed the matchmaking, so no one could have predicted that gender would become an issue at the scene.

‘You should have died instead of coming back, getting rid of that uselessly high-class mouth!’

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The brother’s curse, which he had heard so often that it usually didn’t affect him, hurt particularly today. It was hard to ignore.

Though he was the nephew left behind by his deceased brother, his adoptive parents had raised Seoyoon without any shortcomings. He was able to dress, eat, and study as well as others. It’s not just empty words; there were clearly moments when he felt they cared for him even more than their biological son, his brother. He knew that the long-standing resentment his stepbrother harbored towards him stemmed from this favoritism that wasn’t quite favoritism.

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While there must have been a sense of responsibility and familial affection, Seoyoon had long noticed that it was also a kind of investment. They believed that there would be some use for the omega son they had raised with care, even if not specifically for Kwon Kijung.

Although Seoyoon, the person in question, had realized early on that his adoptive parents’ hopes were an unrealistic dream, he couldn’t rebel and tell them to leave him alone like ordinary children would.

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“…Sigh.”

For a moment, his chest felt so tight it was hard to breathe. This had often happened when stress became severe, starting from his mid-teens.

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Was it because while his brother and father at least shouted, he, who was actually the most frustrated, couldn’t say anything? Gasping slowly as if having difficulty breathing, haa, haa, Seoyoon fumbled to open the drawer under the desk.

His breathing became rapidly faster. His hand, moving busily as if searching for an inhaler, picked up a box cutter placed in a corner.

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‘No, I can’t.’

Even as he pushed the button to expose the sharp blade, Seoyoon hesitated. Because of this damned habit, even after being humiliated today, again?

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But his breathing was getting faster and faster. What did it matter? There was also another self in his mind, coldly looking down and criticizing him.

You’re already ruined anyway. You’ll never see Kwon Kijung again, so what does it matter if your forearms become ragged? Instead of always clumsily imitating, why don’t you try slashing decisively and dying? What else is there for you but to be sold off to an even worse place if you keep living?

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“Ugh…”

As if trying to cut off the voice criticizing him, Seoyoon urgently pressed the tip of the blade against his bare skin. Roughly scratching the skin, making his earlier hesitation seem meaningless, drops of red blood formed on the new wound before quickly spreading.

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It didn’t end with just one cut. Each time the blade went back and forth over the pale, delicate skin, new streams of blood rose vividly like painting over wounds that hadn’t fully healed.

As the sharp pain took over his entire body, the voice that had been bothering him like a headache disappeared. His rapid breathing also gradually subsided. Seoyoon looked down at his arm while regulating his recovered breath. Tears that had reflexively formed were slightly pooled at the corners of his eyes.

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The relief of regaining his composure came first, and the pain followed. At the burning sensation as if his flesh was on fire, Seoyoon finally slightly furrowed his brow.

After chasing away pain with pain, the self that couldn’t endure that one moment feels like the most pathetic thing in the world. Letting out a sigh full of self-loathing, he took out disinfectant, cotton, bandages, and the like from the same drawer. His hands treating his own arm were very skillful.

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Unlike Seoyoon’s adoptive parents who were an alpha-omega couple, his uncle and aunt were both betas.

As people who couldn’t have children with special traits, apart from the sorrow of losing their brother, his uncle had been secretly pleased to adopt Seoyoon, an omega, from before. Many betas believed, without clear evidence, that alphas or omegas could grasp greater luck and opportunities than them.

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Until about 30 years ago, it was legally prohibited for alphas or omegas to marry those of the same trait, or betas. As times changed, awareness grew that the state depriving individuals of their right to choose was a violation of basic rights. The law was abolished, and along with the legalization of same-sex marriage, alphas and omegas were also allowed free dating and marriage.

Even the effects of pheromones that once isolated trait-bearers from society was no longer an issue. Just by taking a small pill on time, it became possible to live one’s entire life without publicly revealing one’s trait.

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Nevertheless, the annual survey results showed no change in the fact that the majority of alphas and omegas still chose each other as partners. The most common analysis was that it was due to their unique strong sexual instincts, and there were also many claims that it was because many trait-bearers achieved social success under more favorable conditions thanks to their innate abilities.

Just as wealthy people use marriage connections to protect their assets, it was said that alphas and omegas also seek to meet each other and leave offspring to preserve their achievements and talents derived from their special traits for generations.

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Several days had passed since the day he drank that bitter cup.

The family atmosphere, which seemed about to explode at any moment, gradually calmed down, and family members were regaining their usual life, at least on the surface.

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“Seokyung’s late again today?”

“He’s so busy these days. He needs to meet with companies diligently to win new contracts.”

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“You’re out of medicine, right? Take this with you. Even if you’re busy, take it regularly.”

“You bought more? I told you I don’t need to eat this stuff. It tastes bitter and I don’t want to eat it.”

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“Meals alone aren’t enough for someone so busy with work. Father takes it consistently too.”

As the family situation worsened, mother became particularly attentive to the family’s health. The reason was that to revive the failing family business, the health of those working on the front lines needed to be the foundation.

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Of course, “those working on the front lines” did not include Seoyoon, who did not participate in the business, but he was in no position to feel left out. Seoyoon tried to focus on his meal, pretending not to notice the conversation between his brother preparing for work and his adoptive mother who always gave him nutritional supplements and pills.

Even while talking with mother, his brother did not forget to cast glances at him, treating him like useless trash. Unlike the rest of the family who had pinned their hopes on him, his brother’s anger had not subsided even after several days.

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