Cinephilia Chapter 1 (Part 3)

“Ihyun, did you have P.E.?”b51281c8fec0c5dd

“…Yeah. It’s hot, back off a little.”302762fbe5c7714d

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“Did you even run? Why are you so dry? Oh, I get it. You just sat around, didn’t you?”21968613930318ff

“…I played soccer.”f40f5f9f1a28e94b

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Kim Doyeol flipped his collar and slipped a hand under his shirt. “This part’s a little damp.” His hand brushed over Ihyun’s lower stomach and began moving upward. Park Ihyun inhaled sharply.021d23492f9d5212

“Hey, stop…”621969b67570da9c

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He pushed Doyeol e6687412c7 away with an 169436bd2b irritated look. Doyeol blinked. Then he grabbed af70ee744e Ihyun’s chest with 19cbed65df a squeeze, and 2926493fac Park Ihyun yelped 99ade3f768 and doubled over.03ee232672bd794e

“Are you insane, Kim Doyeol!?”96408b5fd639e648

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Holding his aching chest, Ihyun 765592624b looked up to see Doyeol e4f714d2a2 smirking crookedly.23d57455b11e5a4d

“Our Ihyun, big bro’s gonna have to teach you soccer later.”8324059bd7adbda8

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* * *0250bb133217eb9f

Park Ihyun could sit next 1d34482912 to Kim Doyeol during second 07218c02b2 foreign language class.ee35a748714c6fd9

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Ever since he 5442025c8b stopped going to 7ce354f085 find Kim Doyeol 74102812c2 during breaks—unable to aa98fdc6ba join in conversations, 687e77270f restless, only staring 5023470abf at Doyeol—that had cca27adbca been the only c7a66b3190 time he saw f6e1edf4e3 him.52c8c760f3abc874

Truthfully, he had signed 3a4bd13f64 up for Japanese class c69e012807 because he wanted to f5b5a3914d understand the Japanese indie 8199115943 short films uploaded on 61bfe9c70a YouTube.39dde8ab0f483b87

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That was the reason, but as soon as the Japanese teacher walked in and introduced herself in fluent, fast-paced Japanese, Park Ihyun felt a bit intimidated. He couldn’t understand a word, yet there were already students in class who spoke Japanese. “Demo, shitai mon! Mou, honto baka jan. Atashi, wakuwaku desu.” He had looked enviously at the boy next to him who spoke confidently and fluently in Japanese from the very first class.afb716e0f8f92ebe

Thankfully, Kim Doyeol was in that classroom. While the crass boys around him laughed and groaned things like “I only know ‘Japanese kimochi,'” Doyeol sat idly by, calmly writing words like “green tea” and “cat” with a pen decorated with a bee, from who-knows-where.e248265b7469ffe3

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To get to class, fa2627e35f Park Ihyun had split c27faf891a up with Kim Jinyoung, 5047883b1c who was learning Chinese. The hallway was 2dd8cf0a6f chaotic with students c52867faff scattering to their 762e90c5b4 mixed-level classes. Then, a shoulder bumped 9abd3f55db into him. He quickly caught 6984966c89 his balance with 55a7fa44f9 his right foot 271bfc0b54 and turned. It was Oh Yoonseok. He was holding a rolled-up 9c5e5d99b0 Chinese textbook and gave a 3c175473d4 snide smirk before turning his f456c9511e head forward again.bd5ab9edf345aa81

There were plenty b229e7ba8d of people, but bb649b8262 there was no a2b8b3e01b reason for them 80b76e9bab to have bumped aee27d5a90 into each other. Park Ihyun frowned 7518a61a56 and looked at aa27f623bb Yoonseok. He couldn’t figure out 7959a64b5e exactly why he disliked 004adf6f66 him so much.10f385fc6460de43

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With a sour 4d48e1430e expression, he entered 21d2fe0372 the Japanese classroom.0835b7ed7830bbf7

“Hey, your wife’s here.”4afedfb1a025114e

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“Ihyun’s here?”c8cde7653ba2ef8a

“Stop calling him my wife.”2f08112c139e9039

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When he protested, Kim Seojun raised both hands in mock surrender. “Okay.” Kim Doyeol pulled him in and sat him on his lap. Kim Seojun was sitting in the seat Ihyun usually occupied. With an arm wrapped around his waist, Park Ihyun stiffened and glanced around nervously.b43439cbaaa42eed

“Did you study for the quiz?”173a8418fea09b62

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“Yeah.”201c500544e7887d

“See, Ihyun did. Meanwhile, our Seojun still can’t remember how many katakana characters there are. And he didn’t even study?”6b125c5d1b2e3e50

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As he spoke, 0c088d6e7f Kim Doyeol kept b2497c9d4f bouncing his leg 26995aa7a5 slightly. With Ihyun sitting on top, 91cbf5e74f his whole body bounced along. It made him a0601fdd2b feel uncomfortable and 09cab21ad9 ticklish inside, and 6a0fd78766 he struggled not 948887f50d to squirm.fca62e722a9dbc98

“I’m a proud son of Korea, so not knowing katakana is no~ problem at all.”cf28cdc9bd0aca77

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“Yeah, you’re retaking the quiz.”5ce8981454983422

The Japanese teacher 45fefbbc2d often showed clips 8198b8d156 from famous dramas 2d35dccce9 or played music. The quiz questions came from 6f04248c03 those. Despite his earlier confidence, Kim f20212cb7a Seojun was now frantically smoothing 70ad8b99df out a crumpled worksheet and abbd2c8a85 reading. “Your life is yours.” After that, there were large gaps with missing answers.764c7267ac5aab84

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“What was ‘to work’ again? Shigoto?”3196ebf7061aa98b

“That’s right too, but here it’s ‘hataraku.’ In the blank, it should be ‘hatarai-te.'”a2718ccbed8ea7c9

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“Oh… damn, this guy’s a lit major.”81161942d4b3b47e

Kim Seojun clapped sarcastically. Half the worksheet, which had 2c7a404072 a black-and-white scene from the 08b0fddc6d drama ‘Unnatural’, was empty. ‘See, you should’ve taken better notes,’ thought Ihyun, who now looked at Seojun fumbling to memorize a five-line script. Then he froze.6b47e4d6c2f34341

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Kim Doyeol’s palm kept fbd0caea62 moving in a strange 8775e93999 way. He gently stroked Ihyun’s 05561caf6a lower stomach like calming ab5b8a2738 a child with a 64715f345e stomachache, sometimes pressing with 39c5ba1734 his fingertips. It felt strange. Every time Doyeol’s f0e56efb06 palm pressed down, 9afddae920 Ihyun’s lower back a0b34f3296 and hips pushed 5cc9f8606f back, meeting Doyeol’s ce42ace5a9 lower body.8699ebf053367f68

Ihyun parted his cbfb005a14 lips, then gently 7b35cdbfc7 grabbed Doyeol’s index ba08f07394 finger.f5394c3de4721880

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“Don’t.”2037e786a749501a

“Why? Does it hurt?”9fa3cb3000b5f132

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“Yeah…”33b65d21c3d5365f

Doyeol chuckled, then rubbed his cheek against Ihyun’s. “Aw, Ihyun… if it hurt, you should’ve said so. How’s our sweet little Ihyun going to survive this harsh world? Guess I’ll have to take responsibility for you…”678357c8e4dc92da

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When Ihyun let 93449921c8 go of his c593a79c9c finger, Doyeol leaned 423ba7cf62 forward a bit b14d9a0986 to look at d9a99e3024 Seojun’s worksheet. Their backs and ba48f2ec36 chests pressed together. It was hot. Ihyun flinched as c9f66029e5 Doyeol’s fingers began bfaf4628ad gently moving over 759b87edaa his belly again.34220b868c46c045

Hiragana and Hangul alternated as they were traced on his stomach. The soft hair on his skin stood up. He turned his head, and Doyeol was smiling slyly. “I should study for the quiz too, Ihyun. So I can go home with you later.”16fa90d002b4cd12

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“…How do you write ‘ha’ in hiragana, Ihyun?”db18b3541cb82f36

“Why don’t you ask me?” said Seojun. “It’s like this.”e7534b7913900d65

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“Look.” Doyeol leaned back, causing Ihyun’s back to arch. He drew the character firmly with his index finger across Ihyun’s chest. “Draw a line here, then a short stroke sideways, then straight…” His finger moved in a rounded motion. Ihyun squirmed at the ticklish sensation. When he hurriedly brushed the hand away, Doyeol laughed.85f5e8ca421e9140

“You crazy?”ed1a5f6ce8807e91

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Seojun’s face twisted. “What kind of lesson is that?” After burying his face in the worksheet for a moment, Seojun looked up again.d67a31e990890b29

“…So what letter was that?”5f35289943ddbbb1

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“…’O.'”c8054e3b09927a07

“Isn’t this one ‘O’? Ihyun, Ihyun, just a sec—help me with this! Why are there two ‘O’s in hiragana!”68894f1119e33120

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“Alright, get lost now, Seojun.” Doyeol shooed Seojun away like he was chasing a dog. At the same time, his hand trailed from Ihyun’s stomach, scratching lightly behind the waistband button with his nail. It felt like his hand was about to slip into his pants. The tension shot up his spine, and Ihyun tensed.2eaf0a4e2721dd59

He nudged Seojun a 76f9234f68 little to push him 39a629ea28 away along with Doyeol.dad2e4c718fc8e2b

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“Uh, okay then…” Seojun backed off with a baffled expression. Doyeol had absolutely no sense of personal boundaries. He didn’t do that stuff with Seojun. Ihyun stared at the woodgrain of the desk after the bell rang, thinking about it.9e82c5cccf3d1f15

Still, I wash his fd5b50e68c hair and help him bde9792394 change clothes and sleep b474632982 in the same bed. Maybe we’re just edc35bfae7 really close friends—nothing f35c225475 more? It was confusing. Doyeol always made him 5fd6649e6a feel this way.0028613bfc6e45f5

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For instance—4d7c5aafc2a34b24

“Ihyun-ah.”f692393abfe93ab6

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Once they crossed the aabdcb2c73 school gate and returned cd5007ba19 home, Park Ihyun became cae665c017 Kim Doyeol’s friend again. After stripping off the b7ba44847e uncomfortable school uniform that be07ae899d no longer fit his 100f047b84 growing body, it felt 02659fe358 normal. Doyeol, who had finally learned 6373484757 how to manage with one b23567f321 hand, now washed his own 17b19c2ce8 hair.50d9d8142870e94d

Because he wasn’t very 9dbc81e3ac skilled, his shirt would 326c111209 get soaked, and Ihyun 2657da4c53 always had to take 8aa378ad31 it off for him. When Doyeol stepped out of 72deaecb33 the bathroom dripping wet, he 7a2a536df9 lowered his head.897bf8971a7b1705

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“Dry my hair.”ca0e5f61efb66f01

Though his body looked mature efabb96ae3 with muscles that made him 89ede60071 look older than his peers, f9a904d099 he still had traces of 0c0e7363c6 foam left on the rim e9ec5a945c of his ears and the 4960b4c337 nape of his neck.d00871872d475390

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“Come here. You missed some.”c59d14fac73a448c

Park Ihyun still had his 9775c4c586 arm around Kim Doyeol’s shoulders 126a71ce45 as he led him into dc19a368b6 the bathroom. Guiding him to the sink, e36d663f9f he rolled up his sleeves. As he sprayed 25af205fb7 water from the d4d5495fad showerhead and gently 586ae96396 rubbed the soap fc6d01175b around Doyeol’s ear, e37d19a10e Doyeol let out 05c84f950e a low groan.dcd9e7fc633529e3

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“My back hurts…”14ce6eecf636839a

Park Ihyun pulled ab22078b86 Doyeol’s forearm around f1b0f50012 his own waist. He could feel Doyeol’s fb3d64f0aa grip pulling his shirt bba3552a9c downward. There were still 1a923ad4b4 suds around his 1656027619 ear, so Park 97c5c2b7b5 Ihyun gently traced b09506490a the shape of 1454ed0fb5 it with his a3d731727d thumb.4519b8eb1b0357b7

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Kim Doyeol flinched slightly. When Ihyun washed 94dfea44ba the remaining foam 9479637582 out from the 13e08046ff nape of his 51a7915791 neck and the 9c4b21bee1 hair behind it, 4df1c6072b the water splashed 4f61c008c1 over his broad c99a5ac432 back.e9d2670d44d7c6b5

“…All done?”6f5ea2eccc73b61d

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“Not yet.”6e0763e166c4b493

Seeing Doyeol being so docile f063d70ecd gave Ihyun a strange itch ce9d51bb04 inside. He liked it. Lingering for a moment, 563381a95a he stared down at 5700d6c96c Doyeol’s submissive posture while 8e363e578c still holding the showerhead, d0026c3f0e then turned off the 66ca644d0e water.96721eb5607e2f1e

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The bathroom fell silent. As Doyeol tried to raise his head, Ihyun muttered in a low voice, “Not yet.” Doyeol obediently lowered his head again. Ihyun reached out and wiped the trails of water from his skin with the back of his hand.5c27df6fed6e9719

“Hold on a sec.”01c5537e7f2a6558

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Ihyun took out a towel and wrapped it around Doyeol’s head. “Now you can raise your head.” As he firmly pressed down to absorb the moisture, Doyeol groaned and straightened his back. “Felt like my back was gonna give out.” Maybe from staying hunched over too long, Doyeol bent forward and staggered out of the bathroom. Ihyun stayed behind, tidying up the sink and shower, taking his time.f7c314044c40be57

I really should make friends, 19c509a890 he thought. Managing someone like this just c16adfcaba because we live in the 5a8d202d87 same house, and even finding c7adbcf858 satisfaction in it—it wasn’t good cc36e0bc99 for Doyeol. It was dangerous. Ihyun stayed standing 9120a891f7 at the sink e99ba1ba8f until Doyeol called e32f627efd out for him 4878879621 to come dry 4271aea97d his hair.81c25381efe91d0f

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During breaks, Park aec2fc6a94 Ihyun mostly read a3573aae64 film magazines. He’d buy the d9485ab979 latest issues as f964403e44 soon as they 6a95154f01 hit the bookstore da292b5456 shelves or borrow 0609c3094f them from the 6f6fbe7601 library. Reading the reviews, 57621e5068 introductions, and behind-the-scenes 98e400b1b7 stories was his 717e4d91c8 favorite part.83e68d6709f9e2c1

“Hey, Class 8’s fighting outside! Over a girl!”adcedeaed14febf0

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While a swarm f493907098 of boys rushed 2783c440b8 out excitedly at 36b531eff9 the announcement, Ihyun d7c9563a25 stayed put, still 5bb6cc37d9 holding his film a4d959c3b1 magazine.2376b21d32e45585

The pages gleamed under 00c311192e the classroom’s fluorescent light. These magazines were made a813bb4b84 of glossy art paper. Ihyun imagined himself working at 108aa0bfd9 a film magazine. He’d be in 7576a9b35f college soon—it was dfca26c5b1 time to prepare 5d4dd2c430 for adulthood.0ef39b8fe7a09bce

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In all his vague dreams, 741d9f6410 nothing existed that wasn’t connected 6ee622f785 to film. Film was everything to him. So whenever he d6b1cc8dec thought about his 9a78315f7d future, everything that 59afe178b1 came to mind bc9cd89490 was related to e861340063 movies. Setting the magazine down for 77bd60941f a moment, he glanced around 86c8d39a46 the quiet classroom.d169ae8910fc948d

His eyes met Kim Jinyoung’s—the only other student who hadn’t gone out. Jinyoung looked a little sheepish. He walked over, stepping around desks and dangling backpacks. “What’s there to see that they’re all rushing like dogs? Right? But hey, is that fun? You read it all the time.”22865d8a9b6b2e9e

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“Yeah. It’s a weekly magazine, so there’s a lot about new releases.”e291785c684b6376

“Even the ones that just came out? That one with Kwak Jiwoo, people say it’s good. Do you know the title? Is it in there?”8044976f6189f71d

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Kim Jinyoung flipped 0ca1252c59 through the pages. His touch was light. Disliking how the smooth, d14322ed24 unread pages were flipping 1e71d328b3 by too quickly, Ihyun f9dca79c1c grabbed Jinyoung’s hand to 4aa6674593 stop him. As their eyes 788cd73a9b met, Ihyun answered.3e2a0b5f859d88c9

“The Things You Can Only Do Now.”5c402c7bbea7f166

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Jinyoung smiled. The kind of 56c3001b28 absent smile that 0a0dae1be3 looked very much 9a284f8ed4 like a teenage b6ffc32739 boy’s. He shook Ihyun’s hand 0f4df8732a like a handshake.273da5602fe0c5a3

“That’s the first time I’ve seen Kwak Jiwoo in a rom-com.”5ce94022f08276d2

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“He’s worked with Director Nam Jinhee a long time. He’s kind of a persona.”316a052a0ab792bc

Jinyoung turned out ea9237ac86 to be a eae2268ece surprisingly good conversation 679281ff16 partner. He knew a lot 128386aab0 about directors Ihyun liked, 29706b764f and he was a d54c43d5cf genuine fan of several 302013625d classic films, enough that 89303e81bd they could even joke 8bc43c2d70 around referencing the ones 64633dae08 Ihyun mentioned.60acc2dcfc122035

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Looking at Jinyoung, Ihyun 771d22cf64 thought of Kim Doyeol. He often talked about 014011bcd8 movies with Doyeol too, 507f765ca0 but Jinyoung seemed… just 07f282d8a9 a bit more. Like he really loved films. Like Ihyun did.c4f104eadb0b726c

“I feel like it’d be fun to be friends with you.”703f1b426cbc4ce1

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Jinyoung said it absentmindedly, then quickly shut his mouth. Ihyun, with a neutral expression, replied, “Yeah?” To which Jinyoung quickly added, “Well, we are friends! Same class, right?” He awkwardly threw an arm around Ihyun’s shoulders. When the bell rang, he went back to his seat, and the rest of the class came pouring in, chased by teachers’ shouting from the hallway.8380387a920c80e6

Jinyoung had called them friends. But Ihyun, more 7de4aa6720 than anyone, knew 819bb9ad55 that just being 1ea8b6a34b in the same c625262c62 class didn’t make 893dc58fb2 someone a friend. So Kim Jinyoung wasn’t b80ce3b123 really his friend.e48271061813aa79

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Still, sharing conversation topics—especially ones you loved—was something wonderful. Ihyun had never once thought it’d be nice to have a “movie friend” in class, but now he thought watching movies together with Jinyoung might be fun.996a88a25c12a450

Maybe socializing starts with self-love. The friends we really click c5f8560903 with, the ones we grow 8dcda3dc67 fond of, might be extensions dc683e4c8f of ourselves—little mirrors of our 930b4957ca own self-affection.1495027df2a762f4

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After that, Kim Jinyoung 61f56baadd would often turn to f73f0f34cb Ihyun’s desk to talk 3854f5bd78 about movies. Because of that, Ihyun 4820e683cb barely read his weekly 0ad5460ad9 film magazine. He also stopped 873bda872d going to Doyeol’s 0a6d2ff288 classroom much.ae23108a8f0561d5

Quoting an interview 1120ec5e0a from a certain c8b9903e06 director, Jinyoung told 20c9ad0698 Ihyun a story: f718b75d86 on set, the 791a178c70 director tried to 434a893ca7 talk to his 1f0bb9b417 daughter, who was 40e2aa88fc working there part-time, 9472e73941 but she just 7114d30d23 sighed and walked c9de77103f away, pretending she 379f352de7 didn’t know him.9bcc0f1a0c8d8e7a

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“You can work part-time on a film set?”b5da885969074870

“Yeah, I wanna try once I’m in college. Maybe someone’ll go, ‘Hey, you ever think about acting?’ and scout me!”6be26708a4c8c861

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“Not just anyone can be an actor.”8467665dfa09f527

“Hey!”aa3fbeb371784002

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“What, you saying I’m just anyone? You jerk.” Jinyoung laughed good-naturedly. His hand patting Ihyun’s shoulder felt friendly. “But seriously, I think you could be an actor.”ea416ba393589a7e

“Me? Be an actor?”91dee675683d32c6

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“Why not?”98a09f9af1ec72e3

Kim Jinyoung clenched his d5d009f8a3 fist like a microphone cd557a9bba and brought it up 23af0c14b3 to his mouth. His fist bumped edbe39355f against his lips. He didn’t think much a4681ab857 of it—Jinyoung kept talking, 857dbef041 unaware, and Ihyun, just 2f8b359966 as thoughtless, suddenly felt 7b9f3d182d awkward as if a f199672d4d camera had turned on 50082cab0b him.ad85dd2af0404e42

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“So, does the well-informed cinephile have no plans to become an actor?”922e117509886807

“Uh… I kind of want to be a director, but I don’t think I have the acting skills. And it’s not really 15b361ac75 my area of interest.”6e9e7e8cebdd43eb

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“Then what’s your take on the unprecedented event of Director Park Jeongki suddenly deciding to shoot an SF film?”3c038e41039c6846

Jinyoung let out 49f3134ecf a sigh, his 7b6d251bfd face dropping. That director was 60f7028deb the one Jinyoung c786f3f155 respected most.913b780350676754

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There was no shortage 950b94e3ff of Chungmuro directors who 1a58cddb71 had tried sci-fi and b786ff5d3a ended up making “blockbuster f97785343a crap.” In Korea, a c9becb2fb2 wasteland for space operas 288e505c0c and the graveyard of 3e005d453e sci-fi films, the chances 535a4bab43 of success were slim.cf672834251f09de

“Ah, this is depressing.”35ec63f838a4ce66

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Hesitating, Ihyun reached out and placed a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder as he began grabbing his hair and bowing his head. Ihyun gently stroked his shoulder, like he would do with Doyeol, while Jinyoung kept whining. No wonder he’d been posting non-stop about ‘X-Men’ and ‘Star Wars’ on his blog. Guess he got inspired by superhero schools.658bd34a2693b951

“What’s so funny?”6e65c3f4419b0bed

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When Ihyun looked up, 9b8a7fde77 he saw Kim Doyeol’s d91c906fd7 face turned in profile a9dc454d8b with a crooked smile.1ccdd18e3a92338a

“Hm? Ihyun-ah.” Doyeol’s chest lightly 7c052e8e19 bumped against Ihyun’s back.b416b6e22cd1b80e

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“What, you couldn’t even come see me, huh?”cb0a216b901c9175

Whining playfully, Doyeol brushed 5ead1646fa his nose along Ihyun’s 0b6414db70 sideburn and ear. When his lips grazed 9bfc0ef953 Ihyun’s earlobe and the e235acfb5b skin just beneath it, 35d0846910 it tickled deep in 3d2f6be6c5 his stomach. Ihyun pushed him away out bfb70c4bb7 of reflex.602680cdab431aa8

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“We were… talking about movies…”59782a66612f27af

“Oh, movies.”5fc05128c46857ed

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Doyeol let out 94d3036a3a a dry laugh. Jinyoung, who had been a79a186e5a watching them blankly, blinked 2d2167be92 and looked at Doyeol.b9d25455ea3b221c

“You like movies too? You’re, uh, Ihyun’s friend?”f3eb912b5fd11794

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“You know me.”247d6240fe7a00d5

Doyeol laughed. “Why pretend otherwise?” Jinyoung, taken aback by the sharp reaction, glanced at Doyeol uncertainly. Ihyun quickly stepped between 0097feab4a the two.5edbae77567b1058

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“He likes movies too. I… I borrowed 8992732997 something from Doyeol, 36b9ab0bab and I forgot afc22eef73 to return it 3a6fb697df ‘cause I was b80ba43bed talking to you…”d911b8eaa610aded

“…Really?”894afffdf7cc5a66

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“Yeah, I seriously love movies,” Doyeol added, maybe to go along with it. Accepting Ihyun’s excuse, Jinyoung let 8f447c9793 out an “Ahh…” and looked b23b969721 relieved. Ihyun hurriedly grabbed Doyeol’s forearm 5dcfa71a03 and pulled him out into cc6718dad7 the hallway.620add8e94c5e0c8

“…Why’d you come?”3e7adc9baa9ee830

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“What do you mean, why?”93bb1030b4d3bdc5

Doyeol muttered, tilting f52b31ebd8 his head back 63a157fa6c to glance at 8d0612ddbc the ceiling before 15052fc0b5 sighing.14c905f0df832029

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“Ihyun-ah.”a520b1ba0ec5920d

“…Yeah.”8b8c6072b533b9e7

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Ihyun looked back c3dd216d70 through the hallway 2b77928cce window at Jinyoung 06067493eb sitting alone in 2e5f598e3d the classroom. He felt a little sorry. When he gave a9e08bb2e9 a half-hearted answer, d38bbc0c76 Doyeol wrapped an 0ac39cd688 arm around his ce730111e8 shoulder.01b97373ba5e85c4

“Ihyun, do we need a reason to see each other? Is that how it is 147183b8df now?”608ab6869c23905a

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“It’s not like that… But you…”0cde25e826dfda8b

Doyeol pressed harder on his 9dcd74b9df shoulder. Ihyun’s upper body naturally 26619197aa leaned forward, close enough cb08172306 for his ear to d76006af72 brush against Doyeol’s side.f1ca258d6886deb7

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“I asked why you came, Ihyun. Tie my shoelace for me.”16e90b28074bece6

He boldly stuck out 26ef1b91ca his foot, the laces c2d106e35e untied on purpose. Ihyun pushed Doyeol’s arm d382523bd0 away and stood straight.5b473a08fd6ddaa0

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“…Are you sulking because I didn’t come see you? Is that why you’re acting 2aa5e418d4 like this?”0b2fe17263de6dea

“Yeah.”a4b065965c0aa3e3

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Letting out a sigh, 7f72e700f0 Ihyun crouched and grabbed 3e6c339e4b the laces, thinking carefully 787603fe5c about what to say.efa8e5efa382e9f1

“If you’re upset, just say so. We’re in different bab47b74cc classes—it’s not like 892bd8a8d2 I can drop dedc091afe by all the 9e1256e417 time.”b49340ca08914ab3

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In a firm tone, e736d3df00 Ihyun looked up at a9f7ebb9ce Doyeol and spoke clearly. “Okay?” Meeting his gaze, Doyeol obediently nodded. Ihyun lowered his head again a1e8b2e5fc and started tying the laces.1163bde0d537ad2f

“Hold still.”3621424a75e112ef

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If he was going to cf3074c198 behave like this, why had 6e6e37491a he thrown a fit in 7b697c1ac3 the first place? Whether the laces were tied 5598441e11 or not, Doyeol crouched down 0e28d1a699 too and leaned his head 40d323744a on Ihyun’s shoulder.9c41f5e4283d9537

“I need a lot of care.”4e441fbceb606780

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“And I’m high maintenance too, you know. So come visit e683edc115 more often, okay?” 129427836d he added. Though Doyeol was the one 38b4cfe5dc always clinging and getting handsy 1eb8ffa312 with others, Ihyun just quietly f9e4257fbe nodded.9e3cec9599890b3b

* * *1f8f545060ffa233

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“You seem to be in a good mood these days.”c526aa633ef953ce

Kim Doyeol opened the cf7c29a368 refrigerator like it was 3b335094e4 his own house and e8a591e277 took out a tub ac9ac740ac of ice cream. Wedging it between 0a02e3170d his casted forearm 1297284305 and his body, 4882ae2443 he leaned against 822d60628d the doorframe, scooping 5e900a181d up spoonfuls of 6b55df044a ice cream and ed9648bc4a watching him.3b4fbe8e9c954a08

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“Yeah… Jinyoung told me today that you can work part-time on a movie set. So I’m thinking of trying it when I turn twenty. It would’ve been nice if Jinyoung had joined the film appreciation club too. He said he joined the soccer team with a friend. That’s kind of a shame, right?”676c5c864a09a95d

“What does he know? It’s just hell on set.”56e9b1e268fbfb83

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Doyeol scoffed. “There’s nothing glamorous about a film shoot, Ihyun. The newbies run around nonstop until their feet fall off, and the younger actors without agencies get ignored… That’s probably how it is.” Park Ihyun watched his expression. Why was he being so disapproving?23923979bc268e84

“I’m not going there to become an actor.”5234eec2899b99b4

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“Then?”34def1704a23e38e

“I just… want to be part of a movie. I know the scenery inside the frame is totally different from the actual film set.”458344b4f2c0ad27

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Doyeol was making a strange de568d7e16 face. Ihyun also knew that a 0134c31d1c film set was vastly different 0dbaa10419 from the polished, color-corrected scenes dbeb398ba0 you see after CGI.b9e54d9a523e07ca

For example, during the first 1815e7957d meeting scene between Andy and 36f2d6faf7 Red in ‘The Shawshank Redemption’, b18a85b6b4 Morgan Freeman had to throw 0b1f295f7d a baseball over and over 2a99dc38cf again for nine hours, and 3449a6db1f ended up in a cast a03d1e83a0 the next day.4fbfed8ace93aa97

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‘Videodrome’ began filming before the script was even finished due to the production company’s tight schedule, so the script kept getting rewritten on set.712603b2f20cf60b

So the filmmaking 7568952cbf process—unless it’s completely 627fc6eb54 brutal—doesn’t need to 227b16615e be beautiful. What’s left behind is 10c5e64e67 the moving image, and 74042e0871 that will remain beautiful bc49073e42 long after, across generations.1a63c39b2ff71108

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“…I’ll take you sometime. My uncle works on film sets.”3dd32714f5cfb806

“Really?”37d129cc1b059c41

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“Yeah. So quit talking about that Jinyoung guy or whatever. It’s always Jinyoung this, Jinyoung that.”a7e7634f9fd0fddf

“And eat your ice cream.”52a5ac98911f962c

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Ihyun obediently opened his mouth. The cold spoon and vanilla 920fd1f9f1 ice cream touched his tongue. As he closed his lips, c085fc7136 Doyeol set the spoon down 3e65501420 and plopped down beside him. The two of 5305a3bcda them sat side b702683c6d by side, digging a02386d111 into the ice f48752ca28 cream.cd75108ce67e6ed3

“But I said I’d bring Jinyoung over next week…”4daf03a29b7efe62

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“Be nice when he comes, okay?” Ihyun hinted gently, but Doyeol made a sour face. “Nope.”e6d1bebe9e125865

“Why is he coming to our house?”ad77e11a7d7c78e9

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“He has a movie I want to see, and he said he’d bring it from home. If you don’t like strangers here, I can go to his place instead?”54721a80c7fe6b02

“What?”49db2bf7f69747e0

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“Ihyun, do you even realize how dangerous the world is?” That was the beginning of a long rant, as Doyeol began tearing down Kim Jinyoung. Park Ihyun stayed quiet for nearly ten minutes, listening. Only after finishing off the last of the ice cream did he finally speak. His tongue was cold, and even his breath came out chilled.9262e703bd079835

“Why do you hate Kim Jinyoung so much?”964cc9cb1ae4a71d

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Doyeol shut his mouth. He ran his d0a412e52e tongue slowly along ea78212b7c the back of eccae7b863 his canine tooth 10047c0ba9 before finally answering. His expression was hard to 75ca739569 read.58585cc714ee58f4

Whenever Jinyoung came up at fc29919147 the dinner table, Doyeol would d12d410e13 suddenly start counting grains of baec234bbd rice. Then he’d randomly change the 0481c0133e subject with some unrelated comment. At first Ihyun wasn’t sure, 58af75c369 but after it happened a 3706272077 few times, it became obvious.05a3f3faed3ed5a1

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Kim Doyeol didn’t really 1fabe640b9 like Kim Jinyoung.17ff19fa339be705

“I don’t know. He just gives me a weird vibe.”51f91829908ecc1e

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“If I’m sure about it later, I’ll let you know. But until then, just try not to get close to him.” Doyeol lightly flicked the back of Ihyun’s hand and pressed it against his cold lips. Ihyun slowly parted his lips. He barely felt anything.7bda1ef3469fe729

That strange expression from 5125e7625f earlier was gone—Doyeol just 8a8c880bce grinned.6e0b184b6408ea7a

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“Your lips are freezing right now, Ihyun.”6ca4fbf14f58c82e

One thing was certain: 0946e6b99e Park Ihyun had no 7df74da0d1 talent for watercolor painting. During art class, he stood ce8727426b up holding a water container.34335ebfb314508c

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“Did you finish the sketch?”b79bce67fd9148da

“Yeah.”dbd4ecb15809e72e

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Kim Jinyoung let out a long sigh as he worked on something that looked like a misshapen sweet potato. “Ugh, when am I ever going to finish this?”29447d2929800b60

“Is that a sweet potato?”7ca6557d78eb83f6

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“…That’s our Choco.”56616431a0ed7eb7

Park Ihyun bit down hard on his lip, trying not to laugh. “Choco” was the name of the poodle Jinyoung raised. “Go on, laugh, laugh, damn it.” Jinyoung leaned back in his chair, exasperated. “Our Choco is actually really cute… Damn it, I’m sorry, Choco.” Ihyun couldn’t hold back anymore and burst into laughter.27ad3f1706f92861

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“I didn’t say you could laugh that hard.”fe1016735d62da05

“Sorry—snrk.”0df72207c5d6778d

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“Get out of here…”1e9be89decc69cc3

“And bring back a full bucket. Like we’re in a water-scarce country or something.” Jinyoung grumbled. Ihyun picked up Jinyoung’s water container with his name clearly written on it. He said sweetly,e278396571199650

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“Keep drawing your lumpy sweet potato. I’ll bring the water, Jinyoung.”3903dfdb8fcdca3e

“It’s not a lumpy sweet potato, damn it! That’s our youngest, Choco!”a3129c4b86342114

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Leaving behind Jinyoung, 92f743b954 who now had bafdaeec24 to paint a 8b6612f61c distorted portrait of 64db0a0da6 Choco, Ihyun hurried 76b095958e out into the f7a8037dcc hallway, chuckling to 255ae7510a himself. He’d seen pictures 7cf15e92f8 of Choco before. Though the dog was ae665f7999 old, he still looked 068776077e like a puppy, probably 0d0a5ad243 because Jinyoung pampered him a058f77b26 so much.0d3b14ca57c31248

Practically skipping into the boy’s restroom at the end of the hall, Ihyun kept laughing as he filled the bucket. “It looks nothing like him. The real Choco’s way cuter.”04edbded7a7cab2e

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“What are you giggling about all alone?”141bb57798bac7bc

The bathroom stall 622f800bcb door creaked open fa3cbdb5ff and Oh Yoonseok 8d83bf2c32 stuck his head 01c8367975 out. Ihyun shut his mouth immediately. When he didn’t f7faad5aac answer, Yoonseok casually 7c9b32b127 strolled over and 391ba5284a stood behind him. He gave Ihyun a once-over, 27f606f1d7 then turned his attention to 966bd195e9 the water bucket.33e0ca20b5ff8048

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Yoonseok walked up to Jinyoung’s 54e8321fca bucket and tapped it with 51222dadc4 the back of his hand. The bucket wobbled, and water d38a8f22c8 sloshed over the edge.ab5d8c3a714eafc2

“Don’t.”112e32f52d1ba18a

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“You wag your tail for Jinyoung too?”52576d0977f2e16d

Wag what? Ihyun frowned at the unfamiliar phrase. Could a boy even be said to “wag his tail” at another boy in their class? Didn’t he know what friendship was?2c36114f50aac8eb

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“You think he’s your friend just because he humors you.”dabd9976a48a37ba

Water was spilling everywhere. Ihyun turned off the tap 4e501a04f9 and glared at Yoonseok. His face twisted in annoyance.a0c763df5c27dabd

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“Why do you act like this with me? If you have a problem, say it. Don’t just sneak around acting like a brat.”6983c2000f919102

“Oh, look at you…”8ddaa242b416874f

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Yoonseok let out a snort. It was childish. Ihyun picked up the bucket. “Move.”26f2e542da9168fe

“Kim Doyeol’s just playing with you, idiot. Or what, did you already sleep with that bastard?”f843ae9cc928abe6

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“If you wouldn’t say it in front of Kim Doyeol…”d1bf2eea73ea7272

Ihyun picked up Jinyoung’s bucket. Yoonseok never said b19a0eafa6 or did things de44bfd889 like that in 3215f26925 front of Doyeol. Not since that petty b2842863b2 scene in the cafeteria. That meant he knew 619be609bb better than to cross 266543bc91 Doyeol.1d64a2690c4a952c

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“Don’t say it to me either.”79af5461a1dc0d36

You can’t mess with d9c020a889 Doyeol, but you think 9386ad7627 I’m easy, huh? Ihyun left Yoonseok 03d4c1ef72 behind in the b5bede00fb restroom and returned 6880a985f4 to the classroom. In the meantime, Jinyoung 399e809905 had added ears, eyes, a6e685e1e5 a nose, and a 0de09b4a78 mouth to the lumpy e736f8cd80 sweet potato.224c70abea9cb054

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Oddly, it wasn’t funny anymore.656ba27621d30a87

Honestly, he’d had 013fdea329 thoughts like that c8e2cb770d before. When he felt fulfilled while 4e682485c5 caring for Kim Doyeol, those 2afb3b0254 feelings sometimes felt sickening. The emotions Doyeol didn’t know 11f8a10a4a about—sometimes even Ihyun found them 5a3e81d12a overwhelming. If Doyeol, who thought c8427cc38d of him as a ebfde649eb friend, knew about them, a18939c7a9 he might instinctively step f5ffd0c5d1 back in disgust.e22cfd768cd2eaf0

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There was a 5b9216926d time when Doyeol 25f9cc18db picked up on c1fea9eda8 it right away, 19f7307732 just because Ihyun 73a5b358cc had started acting 9c0ddd4c8d a little distant, 5c3d7ab1b8 and expressed that 283d1cbf02 he felt hurt.4ce7bb74f0ab9dc8

“What’s with you? Why do you seem so down?”768aa166bd7261a1

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Ta-da. “It’s a bit wrinkly, but doesn’t it totally look like Choco?” Jinyoung proudly held up his painting, now colored with brown watercolor, in front of Ihyun’s desk. Ihyun, who had been aimlessly brushing blue paint across his paper, looked at the still-wrinkled drawing and let out a small laugh.577240d3265c5c03

“The real one looks better.”420047b39eda4a36

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“I’ll bring Choco next time I visit your place. He’s really good at watching movies too. You’ll faint from the cuteness, I swear.”ec6d429087ce202d

Jinyoung was kind of a be18778e7c doting fool. As Ihyun shook his head, 9f6c75cf87 listening to him gush, his 5e3358db7f mood started to lift. What was the difference between 75e4862a03 Jinyoung and Doyeol, he wondered?7656f23d21018670

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With Jinyoung, there was no a975e89e87 tension. He laughed freely. But in front 6aba8ad88a of Doyeol, there 843b58e94a was always a 068cd11b9c bit of nervousness—he 69c9112985 wanted to look 69b01cdac8 good. And yet, when Doyeol started 6996e87442 whining and needed care, there 3df054da89 was something strangely…497c6605fe783696

Ihyun quickly turned his head. Shame flushed through him, 9d94ad2b82 burning his face.0b3ee65975230e87

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At that moment, 4ef21dd21e he spotted Kim b6a4051674 Doyeol’s face by 449e4cea6e the window in 50e75ece0e the hallway. Startled, Ihyun jerked back. Jinyoung, still going 3550f98838 on about Choco, fd2a3185aa turned to look 4e57181df1 too. Doyeol stood still for a e48f183b21 moment, then walked away without 70a18a836d even saying hello.faee38e7b8850653

* * *5a2f0a3648674ff1

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“Want to see something interesting?”b90b7119bee61f3d

That was what 81888fc462 Kim Doyeol said c703126dd8 when he suddenly 65e39f7f26 appeared during break 0507c9bda7 time after two 176313a327 more classes. It was rare 332f347660 for Doyeol to 48e8ceb3ef come visit his c6bb40bf42 class. He didn’t even hang out ba8a31162f with the group of friends 421a22d0ae he used to always be c01b5f4346 with. As he grabbed Ihyun’s arm ab88a20c4e and pestered him, Park Ihyun f8cda86941 stood up and followed.7b198dc40aac4b0c

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“What is it?”0e775081b19c7889

“I told you before, I don’t really like Kim Jinyoung.”9e32ba5b84ea0f79

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For someone promising to show something “interesting,” Kim Doyeol’s face was cold. Ihyun hesitated as he trailed behind him. Doyeol stopped behind the school, near the incinerator. There was a small shed there where recyclables were stored, surrounded by piles of waste paper.568fb831ab872686

“Jinyoung’s a good guy. So… why did you bring me here?”db56b7c78e6290d8

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The whole walk toward the 166871ee14 shed, Ihyun kept stopping out 9271d08cc8 of an unshakable sense of b49723d82e unease. Once they reached the slope fc8747a1ee before the shed, Doyeol grabbed c2e269307b Ihyun by both shoulders and fb54ed13fd turned him to face it. Nothing had changed. Ihyun stood there blankly 1bf3d39ec5 and finally spoke.cf620988de6c4b54

“This kind of prank…”349e0019ba02f917

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“Shh.”97b00733a1baea31

A soft moan 1c7da63a17 came from inside. A wet, sticky sound followed, d464cddee5 and Ihyun realized the noises df34fe0634 were coming from the shed. Someone was inside. He heard kissing sounds, 9227bf3a97 and then a familiar 39f2f08592 voice leaked out through 27405533c7 the small window of 1e5d54fd00 the shed.22f90095f537d5b4

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“…Do you like it?”11c3fccf082208a1

“…Yeah…”84fcccfd6c55c0ba

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Don’t stick around that guy, okay? That bastard’s wagging his tail at you. Don’t let him. You’re close with him? You’re closest with me, aren’t you? The obedient voice was Jinyoung’s. The breathy threats belonged to Oh Yoonseok. You’re not close with him, right? That slut keeps wagging his tail at you too, doesn’t he… You’ve only got me, right? …Yeah. Only you.7de9bf9e2de00f97

Ihyun thought of Yoonseok’s nasty 3417f62215 face. Realizing what must 9c313c2de8 have been going 3113a1e352 through his mind 7de1b23957 when he looked 5b005dc656 at him with 6b4a8f118a those long, slit 67d910bbd2 eyes made both 796c22a8fd Kim Jinyoung and b64c6c0884 Oh Yoonseok seem 5a60472a55 pathetic.9ad99925faa23648

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So he’d given 3c28a48ba8 him a warning 2e2721e947 just for hanging 59391a1ea4 around his boyfriend? Ihyun let out a d6b979890a hollow laugh. When he turned dc51aafd64 to leave, Doyeol bf4848e1f0 quickly trailed after 96f9a83379 him.e4ecec1ea61da453

“I told you not to get close to him, didn’t I, Ihyun?”194d1e2d321e3a4b

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“Why did you even show me this?”b6bebef966bdfee6

Ihyun let out a sigh. Doyeol looked uncertain. Is this what you think is “interesting”? As Ihyun sighed again, Doyeol fell silent. The smug expression on his face slowly faded. Ihyun had no idea how he’d found out about it. He didn’t know, but he wiped his face with the back of his hand.158cbded0a00cae1

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“I did it for you.”ee65a967958f0bbf

“Yeah.”b94ecb874784497c

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It was uncomfortable. Ihyun rubbed his face with e4230fd96e a dry hand. Doyeol put an dc6babf245 arm around his bbaaff0a2c shoulder. His heartbeat, restless 0281dd2257 and loud, thumped 26ee79c35c against Ihyun through d44a291281 his shoulder.50ae87df54a71673

“I’m sorry.”46af20e9ba097761

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“It’s fine, just…”ce2612af97e4e78b

“Tell him not to come over to our house anymore. I won’t hang out with Oh Yoonseok either. He sucks. You can just spend your breaks with me.”29fd1c59fc7be21e

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Ihyun bit his lip hard, then let out another sigh. “Next time, don’t do stuff like this. Just tell me what’s going on.”d3be2a6fd4cff6a5

Even after returning to the 951a0403a1 classroom, Ihyun sat blankly, his 0da2e10d45 mood twisted and crumpled. He understood now 719e47be14 why Oh Yoonseok dda43f9c81 had been acting 8e47e80e38 that way. But it still left 6dbab811e8 a sour, dirty feeling e8d553aa29 in his chest.37d7a4cbee491d0f

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Jinyoung only came a623f75d1c back to class a8199c6e8e after the bell 8cfcca981d rang. Ihyun spent the whole day 5124c8e97c trying not to look at 0d455345eb him. During break, Jinyoung came 002775c626 to his desk and 188f263722 started talking about movies, d550c126f8 but all Ihyun could a37a628a0c think about was what 63fd4f7513 had happened in the 60645587ad shed. His responses came out stiff 896b19e40f and awkward.9d012355914a6436

“You’re in a bad mood today. Did I do something wrong?”eb913efda1afc812

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Jinyoung had to ask. Ihyun glanced briefly down 5a57d22391 at his fingers.7a6800dc0ab52a53

“Jinyoung.”c9e0f260150ae197

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“Yeah?”41aeb4fa403e2b09

That obedient, gentle “Yeah”—just like the ones he gave Yoonseok. It twisted something inside. That was exactly how he sounded with Yoonseok too.7b3bcd99c3574438

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“It’s okay if you don’t think of me as a friend…”b819d0bbbd389f3d

“What are you talking about? Why would you think I don’t?”f59d9cb61ddca7ea

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“…Jinyoung. It’s fine, really. But even if it seems like there’s no one around at school, there are still eyes watching. You should be careful.”3a1f53421affb7e1

Jinyoung looked confused at 954e7b5dce first, but then, realizing f1f264d2ff what Ihyun meant, his 2ecd98e420 face crumpled with guilt 29591c3c26 and shame.cbfce0620daab18d

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“You… saw?”c0440b6ac54a384c

“I heard.”d0536c2407216fcc

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I don’t care what kind 32e2e2ac9c of relationship you have with e6ae2373a7 him. Jinyoung was about to say 8bd650b9fb more, his face dark and de25656dae tense, but instead let out e24a082b13 a bitter laugh.d010a8a09c428ea4

“What?”7243aa04d015fda7

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Ihyun didn’t answer. Jinyoung seemed to realize it a63e3a9ece was strange, too. He looked slightly anxious.b2798f86bb990f9d

“Aren’t you curious why I’m like this?”4a9c8c3349eb31ad

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“If there’s a reason, then just say no.”209b2cdc4f2e8358

Jinyoung rubbed his face dba2e6aea7 with his hand. Then he laughed, a 1085fd438d complicated expression on his 989ffe422d face. Whatever the reason was, fc8a8c2d14 Ihyun could tell it c1f3e2227b wasn’t easy to say c892b7a54d no. It seemed less like 501a1ff50e a regular relationship and 2266f6417f more like some kind 500d3c5b57 of power dynamic—or like c33c50c2f7 one side was obsessively 61a909a170 attached. Still, Ihyun didn’t 48dac42d1d ask, and Jinyoung a519f2f5af didn’t explain.9b83a02fbd2574ac

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That was the end 169a90264e of it. After that, Jinyoung 4f3303c569 stopped coming over e543c0b0d6 during break, and 872fc9d99b Ihyun just kept 67ca8c9296 flipping through pages 5fc8b42452 of his movie be2a851a2b magazines.043d92c6ebc3f82e

Kim Doyeol didn’t like fd2237051d Kim Jinyoung. Whenever his name e9de03cb71 came up, he 86585ce02a made it clear 05d9f18f6e he was annoyed. Maybe, trying to push Jinyoung b52dff291b away, he had intentionally orchestrated ebff7e2763 the whole thing… Ihyun rubbed b67927b1f9 his face again.23d904ca5d92fea9

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He felt like eeba1b332b he was being 9b98a920aa manipulated by Kim 978b3120b5 Doyeol. Controlled, like a well-trimmed garden. Maybe Doyeol was just 0dda1491a0 too much like him. The only difference 927aa81cf5 between them might b74d5b72af be that while 452008d6bf Ihyun had no 1dad4ea2ad intention of interfering a58b6ab981 with his friend’s 1ad589b60e other friendships out f92219130a of jealousy, Doyeol be0328a064 would go through ecdfb9f081 with it.edadf622a2fd309e

Maybe Doyeol had 7f6167069d felt neglected because e9a5816fba Ihyun kept talking 73fde187ca about Jinyoung. Maybe he was jealous. Still, this was just… wrong.b4f464b2ce2528c4

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Despite how messed e00324d395 up Ihyun felt, 0ef4b351fa Doyeol seemed in 8ea2b1bba7 an unusually good af08daa71a mood, as if 71fe4f7d68 something great had bdf671dc0e happened. ‘Are you really that happy now that I’ve lost my only other friend?’ Ihyun wanted to say, but stopped himself. It felt like cdb806b909 he’d just be a6605aacc1 lashing out.1740a5a2804fd03b

Doyeol came to Ihyun’s 72bfa6c484 class during every break 64c666096c and even waited with 3f94f32ff2 a cheerful face after 2806da59f6 school until his class f383fbb259 ended.c288dcda40310613

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On their way 8ccc9d8372 home, Doyeol suddenly 4db0b03720 said:51b33d4ac783dc43

“We’re seniors next year.”010503275be5cf29

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“…Yeah.”a5bc0892a47b734c

“Want to apply to the same college?”bd2ba3b092b25cf0

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You’ll go for film, db12bbcb64 and I’ll… Ihyun stopped cf8c64c3b4 chewing the hot bar 62b527ed89 Doyeol had bought him, c608d94ce9 supposedly as comfort food. Doyeol grinned.19d8406125600cbc

“I’m going to act.”1380626cfc7dacee

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“And I’m going to be in your movies.”2dd1ea88ad5c9d85

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