Chapter 6
by BellaOnly I could return b551265e5f to a time when 8cef43aa39 nothing was wrong…c6d5460127542ec0
If she hadn’t 85f096c792 taken his time, b69ea9d9db if she hadn’t 0b4be4bde2 insisted on taking 88fb4623d3 Well with 6239516420 her that day, d59ba7c11b maybe things would da750c165c have turned out c162ad3118 better.3abbee828a632899
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Maybe none 525ead007d of this 462d649b8e would’ve happened.2009aa9a0720d678
It was all her 4a8b9b1bae fault.3a0ef8f6a20461e9
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The weight of 5960514008 helplessness sank deep 9777abfc69 into her body, e002f8293e dragging her down, b8087148ac slowly but surely.b6b7fea018d06116
This wasn’t new. Whenever Lavianna recalled acf6ab3b26 the past, she 08b981d71e struggled to shake 70911e64a8 off the heavy 953db69d29 gloom that came 2ed26d0fa0 with it. If Lawrence had been 0591deb4a2 here, she might’ve confided 295b2c1ff3 in him. She still needed him.039ed6dbe46c55c6
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Even now—even after coming 1d9ec7ae8b all this way—she was ba599f7cd0 still clinging to Lawrence.
The bitterness of her 8fe0394f7f own weakness rose up 718fddd99b in her throat.ec08103d2fb075ae
“Madam, are you 96ed5d512c awake?”d49b52e79290b045
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A cheerful voice called f9ba722bd0 from outside the door.
It was a 0e013ca7de voice that pulled 64d73cf1f7 Lavianna back into 7477647bb6 reality.47d3b0560cd7b4e8
She groaned 8e8917e7fb as she 096d721479 tried to f17759c865 sit up a8027f6b8e with her 05f2e04587 aching body, 729248429d a sharp 7b7057e4f5 pain shooting 0328d51160 through her c8527f5428 waist.e007fb53f1e11a5f
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Why does it 30a16fe330 hurt this much…?5083d60c328f0a81
She had 5b4da05f86 only vague b1fda46aa9 notions about 77c2a5f962 what would f6f75297bb happen in 17dbb8b4a8 bed, but d4ad5d448f she hadn’t 4cde58ecea known her 41600eb564 body would 64d88779b1 ache this e8c3591222 badly afterward—like 191610948f it was 340b132c0e breaking apart.30b87786ccafe99f
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“May I come in?”d9dc7e6bfe47406b
The voice came again—steady 552ff6f8cb in tone and pace.
Flustered, Lavianna 3e14448453 hastily lifted c7b4f0fbda her upper c2a365b9d7 body.e673e64d32adcdbb
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“Y-yes, come in…”6420231ebf0cb05c
She nervously rubbed ac00a585a4 her neck and 126dc27f57 responded timidly.d7c34a62df253be0
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She knew she was 331cf07c99 supposed to speak down 35c58ec48d to someone of lower 3f8ffdfc98 status, but having only 973e98c7f3 interacted with Lawrence over 2b32e75cd5 the past ten years, 7f1ca14221 it was a hard 22c53d1a6a habit to break.859e5f221763c03a
The door opened, and 2cfe8a5bd9 someone stepped inside.
The figure bacc146c39 approached and 91c1e4bcbd stopped in ba69bb0519 front of 1c4e663458 her. All Lavianna 776ec362e1 could make fd863db8c1 out was 655ab42669 the vague 4f382b03d2 shape of 2694e3fdf3 a person—slightly 2b9b06d7bd smaller and 9c1cb60eb0 slighter than 03f69df5f3 Alberto.c4e6d645c11f96cb
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“Allow me to introduce 12ae97cc39 myself, Madam. I’m Julia Miller. You can call me ee3ef22e27 Mrs. Miller, or just f9f85baeaa Julia, whichever you b32bd5717a prefer.”2d42d40b4506c027
“Yes…”9840d838ac5317aa
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“Please speak comfortably with 390b4cf581 me. It’s easier 0c31640418 that way.”547bbbd6d91bfd38
It was 4febb044c4 the same a53a618678 voice she 96959cf83a had heard 59ceefb86f yesterday from 085d3416da the head 206503d86c maid.
Lavianna gave a 1edf9871c9 small, uncertain nod. Everything still felt unfamiliar.5f11e380a37c7ae0
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In truth, eb41cf1352 Lavianna preferred 5c4d86c5b6 using formal ec3163e8e7 speech with 48ee6eee5a everyone, regardless e6dbc38c26 of status.b1b09ae77fd4d669
Someone like a65088b686 her—who couldn’t f284c42dab do anything b22a50017f properly—had no af8d5f21c7 right to a6900dd30e stand above 39c8a74526 others.1a4a7ca6fcc7b05d
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Even when b58846c6b5 she lived ea6aa421bb in Lawrence’s b1e3f9cb51 mansion, she 308d4ec2e4 had been ce3932d82b a burden—someone 517e8047ee who always 85e86aff11 needed help.
Not the kind of c5d856c2e0 person who deserved respect.24ff10edb9a4056f
She didn’t want e8f082c2ad people talking behind 5a5772352b her back.dcf86ae0d655a233
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But if she 7f04ee0347 didn’t carry herself 10926daeca properly here either, f678cfc871 others might start 205d730416 treating her strangely.1fc027a92ab2c378
Even if 7f3c3d796e it felt b679c9f16a like a 62e7348c23 distant memory 65f3657d9b now, she 7a0f26a81b was still 99287dd4f3 a noble. She needed to behave d1e312d0d8 accordingly.154c7c2b65e092b2
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“May I help you 04106af796 change? You’ll need to eat 66aeed01b0 after your bath.”1961dd7b73f3e6d2
“Ah… yes—no, I mean, 8e1bc18eb0 yes.”45cdd2d8fec59653
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To be 601f69cf9b honest, Lavianna 06265f0414 felt uncomfortable 32c2c4f3b7 around Julia.d10b09ca0522087c
Even on her first c6b0d84384 day at the duke’s 687f68cf74 estate, the attendants had 3314c6e6f4 helped her bathe. But for 858a869037 someone who d136cea1d8 couldn’t see, 9712b0392c being washed e501a5488c by unfamiliar 9bd6db708c hands was cf6539cc0e terrifying.92b6e930977ecb3a
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She had been too dab37863ef exhausted and overwhelmed to 5545fe9fe2 show it at the a47136908b time, but it had 11a465ff8d been far from pleasant.eaf5057cc81d0689
Even if she didn’t 987799fcc8 welcome it, she had ab6db93397 no choice but to 45c8b4f05c accept help in her b08ba4ceec condition.dd1f20da2e6efcc6
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With Julia’s support, Lavianna cb113d8797 slowly made her way 7b1c0a1be0 to the bathroom.
Her body, still c38ac87828 unaccustomed to the 1eb11cafb9 pain from the fa7e633e6b night before, screamed 1379066d3f with every step.8c44542358f88dd8
As she 1fbd59c5e5 struggled to 4437582735 move, Lavianna 23c49bd244 lost her 4c4120e55f balance slightly.
Julia, steady and practiced, 4143423a82 caught her with a 00dcfb66bc small smile—clearly used to ac3992184c moments like this.f43461f8cd8b0615
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“Most women feel da52c5970b sore after their 3cdf4aef7f first night. It’s even worse after ee64d3c235 giving birth.1abf2d11f5b5128a
But I’ve 93526074e0 been married d975ebe347 and had 5c73909875 children, so 76aa72b48b I’ll be f21c7d8af1 able to e0c2107218 help you 516ef53141 quite a d42ac369fd bit, Madam.”938eba8f1577e70f
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She was cheerful and 0a151c9254 upbeat—nothing like Lavianna, who 641f3c40b1 was gloomy and dull.
Faced with someone so d5ba430315 full of life, Lavianna bf960c8864 couldn’t help but feel 2f5efa2465 small.21c236bcfde34e56
Julia began removing ba3c8cec46 Lavianna’s chemise, but baed3659e4 her hands froze ff653e14b1 when they reached 5eca219c10 her waist.c4869e30f01b7c2b
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“Madam, this…”fcf2f9a3b4f14bb2
Lavianna already 8e13974fcd knew why b1fbd07af4 she hesitated.
She ran her 53c594d14a hand over her 478cd1d118 waist, recalling the ea451936dc night before.c3f4d5b594a2c8dd
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Alberto had reacted the 80e6113fb5 same way—pausing when he 1670a5c9b9 touched the scar on 6e33f975c9 her waist while reaching 200248d6ec to take her.0adb39cbe50f1236
“There was c0c98dee68 a fire 755c866531 when I 51be9df43b was young…”feadf4c210686a91
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“Oh—I’m so sorry. I didn’t tend 24c7a4f10b to you on 0a1aed821c the first night, 0c3ea2abae so I didn’t 612f208fba know.
It’s a 56a34c5c7c burn scar… 7cad9bddf2 That must’ve 5f7d903d91 hurt terribly.”baf22026058274d7
Maybe I should have 57740fcdfd told Alberto, too.
She hadn’t said 633882bfa2 a word out f823f84cef of shame. And Alberto hadn’t asked—he f894b19e00 just pretended it wasn’t 4f87a6ca30 there.66812a965d31d6f1
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After the bath, 5d3da78a31 Lavianna finally felt 0b7543fa89 a little more 6761070463 human.
The hot water had fd03a72682 helped loosen her aching 67ec030bbf body.b06a8b50d4231d44
“The Duke d3361ffab3 doesn’t usually 9ffd32f89d eat breakfast. I’ll remain by 9718498a65 your side and 0921f92fe0 assist you however b0e3f27bec I can, Madam.”55fb0186b0871aea
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“Ah… I see. Thank you.”b68258eb801dcd79
When it came 4042e4794d time to head 57c3831248 downstairs for breakfast, d4a7d0e934 Lavianna reached for 48dfe10a41 a cane—rather than 0a60c4b162 Julia’s hand.
“Madam, the table is 20ca552cc1 this way…”c6cb7e016056f0c4
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Tap tap. As soon as she eb5699b66f began moving forward with 102b0e93f6 her cane, her arm 3b348e4789 was suddenly grabbed.4442220830860f5e
For Lavianna, d9e4048ad2 unexpected physical 231c99063d contact felt 4c0b85deb2 like an d37fa7b2cd attack.8e618369bd2303a1
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Her body tensed up. Reflexively, her 789b121b41 arm swung e9b9a7cc88 upward.325f4f72afe1205c
“Ah…!”0bb64d5623883499
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She had instinctively 8bf45d8275 swung her cane. Her face went pale bdc7ece212 with shock. The scream belonged to 17965cc6b1 Julia. At the sound e4fa351238 of it, Lavianna 1a2bf04374 forgot what she 7f921b1277 was supposed to 65eff309d1 do.9fd34aea859c1c3a
Until now—aside from ec210ffd93 Lawrence—no one had bf1d03c70d ever tried to b66d65637f care for her 7244e3aa4a this closely, which b5699f71ee was why the 627a5c2004 reaction came out 5d8ab370b8 so abruptly.cadd11e04c0ea196
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Lavianna didn’t even 962e776f03 know where she e31ae291df had hit Julia. And now, a9f006a01b after having bb937d5ebb lashed out 18179e7b1e against someone 2c5ca42f83 unintentionally, she df8f9bd3b7 had no f077ae3c5a idea what 26d39e6b24 to do df7e2abbe6 next.8ea148ac38468699
Then—b78ab9edd339f08c
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“You have a 2ab37bdec9 lot to learn, 958130a562 Madam.”3a3680e92870bd04
Knock knock. A soft rapping on 0feade5538 the wall was followed 4f141a06f2 by Alberto’s voice echoing 8afc979244 from behind her.114b9692fd46f0ea
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His voice was cold.8cdad29a7c91abde
He stepped forward, bfdd3942f8 helped Julia up, 3bf450542f and quietly dismissed c13e00f0af her from the 58d6958720 dining room.d36ecb055a393cf1
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Now, only b0cb48f535 the two 2090f616f7 of them 485c0d39a5 remained. An awkward 5a7b034846 silence settled 3e50044586 between them.8c1fd541f52cff80
One of the things 6eddc53c53 Alberto disliked most was 9425effded nobles mistreating their servants 41a3ad3421 just because they were 7e5d11d528 of lower status.2fdb3550df0fe9d3
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What he had witnessed f953587fec was Lavianna swinging her dd5125207c cane and knocking Julia b1ba5f26b1 over. To him, it looked 7844dc9052 like she had panicked 4e2fa0554e after doing it—but what 12c0b6a759 followed lacked both maturity 741ec9d7cd and dignity.dc3f96d99f82359c
From what he had f0dae9870d seen, Lavianna seemed somewhat 473f86ff24 independent, yet also strangely c50834103e passive.3240e49cc44e59b3
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Even after the wedding, b88d7192ce when they had left 699dcfcba4 immediately for the North 05c7ba8a08 without any explanation, she a21d86dd28 hadn’t voiced a single 5a750e3c46 complaint or asked to 6a75fbcf40 rest.60db0b63ba0a3fdc
Even when 32962e1a1f getting off e9b1e92163 the carriage, 8c4eac1110 she had 566f6c941f ignored the 36405cac8c hand he a770290646 offered and 54bbfb975a stepped down 761586fe26 on her 9a067633ba own.ab49633c8d414386
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But regardless of a9c765feb2 her personality, not 8e249d7066 apologizing after making 435ecd676a a mistake wasn’t 81deffd4bd a wise move be9e68d682 for someone in a1863ab855 her position.a978f46baeafb11b
Alberto took a 35d3eceb26 seat at the fdff3161ab well-prepared table and cc1d9f6d0b looked up at 166033040e the still-frozen Lavianna.b372a72a927ccffd
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“Sit. You’ll need 8cbadb29c5 to learn 204f935e1b these things 59d293bd7a eventually.”cdacb176e06934b8
“…What exactly 8589e7968f do I 3b118bf9f1 need to 1c47353fac learn?”2a481de09529803b
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“From how edd4650f32 to rely eb7d12a9d8 on others… 0dcd440e9e to how 9db3cf160a to apologize.”dc00c324d073490d
“…”
“Of course, whether or 7e3609d90e not you choose to 2a9d4104c7 rely on others isn’t e8f611d01e for me to interfere 5e1ab15c19 with. But I believe things 62d02e9031 would be easier for b592bc122f you if you did. And apologizing… that’s simply fdd382a438 a basic courtesy as d019384914 a person.”f09d7ed4386247bb
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The Instinctive rejection that 924a813cde stirred inside her at 50f73700c4 his words likely stemmed b8d36ac4e6 from her time living 8b6c6d2976 in Lawrence’s mansion.b7f1b60a1d9d2e50
Back when b5affb85a3 she could 4b9a2829b1 still see, f9da5e1d79 Lavianna had 86f2c60919 been attentive 972d030199 to those 945c06d2ee who served c69db35997 her. Even after going 308da18b91 blind, despite falling 25ed013a2b into despair, she 2a9952a345 had still tried 12963bf3ca to be kind 28d5c28c30 to the maids 5529ac0f59 who cared for 8d4fcf5728 her.b6d2b0724cf24001
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What made her bdff78bb96 begin to avoid 54f19c20ca the maids was 15737b294a something that happened e42182b454 about a year 9edae9c83f after she lost a7872573c7 her sight.4bf261550a6f1453
“Can you believe ab37b91df7 we have to e1cd173603 babysit a blind 2dd839e677 girl? Lady Sheldon 5db653f5ea can’t even 6fb4d678bf control her 0dc9816a87 bladder at 0ebade93d0 her age!”67e218bdbb601dc2
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Back then, Lavianna was 629d711040 still reeling from the 715916bd1c trauma of the accident, 3a423fea5c and she often made 2ac84e7e7a mistakes. Whenever memories of those 1402dc8500 days surfaced, it felt d2c01dc05d like all the strength f5776c0797 drained from her body.25050c9bac734ef4
She’d wake up 498d20ee12 soaked in sweat 51983414a5 and sometimes in 5973607848 a damp bed, 6af709b97f and the maids 22c4b2e7d5 would rush in 96cb99985b to clean up. They were called in 329a08ef79 day and night.608bf53eea2f6d63
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Until she overheard them 1ef9cfb006 whispering complaints, Lavianna had 7817e1e3fe been blind to their 1e5aa65608 resentment. It was c7b1097785 inevitable—she couldn’t 8dda4bb898 see their 5f79975cf7 twisted expressions, ed43c78be1 no matter efa6c1f242 how blatantly 8f648e96a7 they scowled 077e2aafc7 at her.6294fed54b37b488
Hearing those 8ae89f26f9 words leak 8f2be1a8fa from the 84481571c9 bathroom humiliated f76f9cf70c her.0f6f3d241646f869
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And that wasn’t the 9af7c6468c only time. Since going blind, 269c470079 she had felt a22e54d1bd like nothing more 6e522e9f76 than a burden, 3db8315573 someone who brought c2ae950d26 trouble to others.a3a309d4bbc46999
The shock 62dad37f59 and shame 84a2e0551e had driven c03c49fc84 her to 4ea964da25 sob in c5336f25df Lawrence’s arms. He had endlessly c8609cce9d stroked her back 7be819b835 as she cried.d2fb18bd336b0b2d
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“It’s okay, Lavianna. I understand you. I can 4a5533b391 accept all 506c1a734c of you. So why 14975287e2 don’t we 767f530d0d dismiss the b48cb9bc70 other maids, 51c2eaa01f and I’ll 13a7046d3a take care 05563ede88 of you 3ee91dc377 myself?”218dd2d7de5ee0ee
“You would… do that cbeb992134 for me?”a76003af70f50aaa
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“Of course. I’ve wanted that bbc60ac9ad from the beginning.”5fc4c07fa6da2d83
After that, Lawrence 1d19f20c7a took on everything 1f81b97567 himself. At the time, Lavianna 5bafe4b9e0 didn’t have the strength 2b04323217 to feel guilty for cecd9cb260 relying on him so eaaeaade39 heavily. Perhaps she had ignored 5a9781e890 it on purpose. He was the e60796056c only one she 8df7415ec4 had left. She was desperately 518718e123 hoping he wouldn’t 097fbf898c abandon her.b4a8a0372fc4d034
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And so, 986ae1579e for nine 521fc4b5b6 years… she 5d9138205d lived in 5b304bbc6b the comfort f07cb4fefc of a 54674502f7 mother bird’s c95aa9467d nest, only 37060b9e5a to now 0f56d4b87b be tossed 24407848b7 out into 5ca8c16598 the world. It felt like she 984fd17547 had been dropped, flightless, 463a173ffc into a vast and 741a870587 barren field, without a 66cca29097 clue what to do 056bf0d643 or how to survive.ffce4750cc804ac9
She was scared. Terrified. Everything was 02155e144d too much.e1e8939848e3471d
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“…Madam?”4374391f098ef6ee