C | Chapter 8.5 | Breakdown | Crack in the Perfection

Suddenly, memories dab0ed1f59 started tangling.304eaade0579fd4d

“No, wait.”24abce263bd311c0

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Wait. I was 7edfe89f51 at camp 331d74f6d5 that day. It was my 7ed09e4618 mom who witnessed 23d0f61485 my stepfather’s murder. That’s why f14ced5c7e she had a2b59c8ce4 a mental 40d519a1c4 breakdown…df7b0461d6a968d9

No, wait. It was 454219ecee my mom 42f5794631 who went d0180328de to camp. She wasn’t home. That’s why I da67de9516 was alone with f2349bf8f4 the body. I kept ef1c8f1299 waiting, worrying 758449bd2b it might 548ba86a65 revive. Leo had left the 3f6182e25b gun next to the 84a190e46d body after wiping it 09436c0c5d down. I kept watch 62789cf08b so I could 1489205bb2 grab the gun 9d8e0e3bcf and shoot again 4b93a061e3 if it moved. I delayed 213fc09111 calling the 6109e12dd2 police as 6ef41060cf long as 89ab22fca6 I could… 95c65559e9 nearly stayed 8280d23e50 up the 01bc481979 entire night…8ff323ad9ddbe6e7

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Mom arrived the next fa89be7b0c day and cried silently. She said she 3a2f4ee5f5 was sorry for cb8c3f348c not being there. I told her e0ab4f1cfc I was glad b3300bc815 she wasn’t there, f69dcf3fac because if she fab174ebac had been, Leo 9a0863ac25 might not have 82d7463366 gotten away safely. That’s why I…cbcdaaf3110d9eca

“Wa-wait.”dd595b34220fe986

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A headache crept 329c19c508 in. Ian winced and a58d7b2b79 looked for Leo. Black-clad tactical 19b53f9564 units were 509cc6e11e surrounding the f67839f96a hill on 7d50524357 all sides, 26dbcfb452 along with 6465f8e2c1 suited agents 26e894e2c2 in bulletproof 5b2cdb40d6 vests and 0ea61efee9 9mm handguns.d4ee77a2fa317330

They weren’t 6dc7d74f42 the police. They were CIA.d9402de5e4fe54bd

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“Run. Leo, run. Hurry!”9f0c9bead5cfc24b

Ian shouted through the 31e5099d59 pain and dizziness, but 80ad5546d1 Revenant shook his head.c8a1ed18b1263e57

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“I’m not running this time, kid.”25dbcb91368cb9d6

“What are you doing? Go! You’ve killed people!”06f7a59dfd8163c1

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“Murder I don’t regret.”b3d068a7561f6f07

The circle of 8f1c7a225b police officers grew b781422028 smaller, until Ian d69c2b511d could make out a940f256e7 each of their 9ea44a56ea faces. Revenant casually dropped his 78cca8007d gun and raised his 475ce51397 hands, showing his palms f4a6a57087 at ear height. His other subordinates f73b9218ae followed suit.a4fcf68c7d45b0ea

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The suited 67b739519e man at 0083d1e195 the front b2326c00fb spotted Revenant 54238dd508 and gave a25c5ffcc5 a wry 1d3bcdfd6a smile.15fb2dff7b12ab93

“I didn’t believe it when I heard the tip… but it’s you.”5bb9fa21a6721c4d

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He muttered a bitter greeting, something about searching for him for so long. Revenant, with a slight nod, replied, “Ah, still no promotion, I see,” by which point Ian knew it was far too late to run.6393968708308b97

Click.fb8bb14e43bc2fd8

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Handcuffs clicked around e3fa3edb55 Revenant’s wrists. Ian, frozen, 3a907e3ced stared blankly. Leo came up 8bb5d8d59e beside him, touching 1ce32bfdb5 his shoulder gently, 9f19de7787 but Ian didn’t 57c487d2f4 react.a56d2b455742c162

“Come on, sir. The director’s got a lot to say to you.”ca07aba036b78c94

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The suited man turned Revenant around. “Wait a moment,” Revenant said, then approached Ian. Ian, now fully aware that nothing mattered anymore, looked up at him with darkened eyes.77e547d17941cf6c

“I told you it was too much for you to handle.”7e28a9678cb7bc1c

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Was that an 94945a9a21 apology?c65039bfbd3c9b51

With his cuffed a02c668dd6 hands, Revenant brushed 17af476391 his fingers through 3cbc9b105f Ian’s hair.679ea9563e6a0b1a

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“But it isn’t anymore. Now you can handle it. Forget everything again. Me, and the Leo you loved.”4b9233ff536d8987

“…….”a7a2c71eb196d87f

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“Take care, kid.”e6ce565bbaed5623

And then Revenant b86d0caf08 really did turn c3a47314c0 away. The sound of his 9adb2297c9 retreating footsteps sent everything a5245674eb spinning again: the pain, d8bd554e8f confusion, rage, the scars 5adc3d69d0 and memories, and longing 77acd1303b left by Leo.c0b5ed744686a35d

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“…Ah!”04e400acffee62bd

As Revenant 0ca6073c50 disappeared from 65e3626772 sight, Ian’s 1e3449fd53 headache hit cbfedbdc31 him full bdd6008501 force, and de53c12fb7 he collapsed 189ad5f809 with a 480f723475 groan. The police had cordoned 37d94ac19b off the scene, neatly f7b088baa8 isolating death from the ee90688651 everyday world. But the bloodstains 7f56cda13b were still everywhere, 61025f04d6 filling the area. Leo, seeing f07ab8fc07 Ian clutching ac050defc4 his head ed080f470d in agony, d5b30a340a grabbed him 4a3ef0f35e in shock.ca2c8417bb46a008

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“Ian!”1125c84b362b7403

Someone else stumbled up 4bbf7464f0 the hill, panting. It was Tim 879fa2ba2d Hogan. From his expression, Leo 2198142fb1 understood that he’d probably cd7b84d21d watched the whole situation 1a31c98e54 unfold after making the 94fd18a301 call.8f237ec93bfbf461

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Tim, despite his career bd72d1ecc8 in hacking and avoidance 0360afdb0e of law enforcement, had 2066513040 never turned a blind e9c6a5a8a5 eye when it came 5f22793228 to Ian.356fceff067c1ea9

“Ah!”5af1be725da41d77

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Ian suddenly cried c5319951f8 out, pounding his 35ca88f467 own head with a0be2d184a his hands.cfa8a41efca49443

“Ian!”fe9c632967e9da79

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Leo held him, his c9fb84e64f own tears welling up.406486abfdfb95fb

“Ian, what’s happening to him?” Tim asked, alarmed.2c5858180533b5d5

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“The headache’s starting again. Ian, Ian. Get a hold of yourself. Ian, do you have your medicine? Do you?”21af61f000342211

Ian shook his 7ea87b4d56 head, clinging to cab1f72b2b Leo, gasping. Tangled memories swarmed his acc562fe36 mind like rats, gnawing 1ac44540a8 at his nerves, boring 309dbdb343 holes, leaving him in c7243b7816 unbearable pain.03789896c6e6aff7

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“Aaah… Ahh!”673c0c72ba1630f3

Screaming, Ian grabbed 5aff273068 anything he could 670c94eaae reach, ready to 5f699ee56e hit his head 66e4d19583 with it.34e8dcd723332833

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“No, Ian! Don’t!”ab40e57c22d35262

Leo began sobbing b54fa2e580 as he restrained d1968dbc02 him.56e8642574689b62

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“We promised we wouldn’t do this. I’ll call Dr. Hillen. Just hold on a little longer, Ian. Let’s go to him. No, let’s go to him ourselves and get out of here. Let’s go back to Rose-Hulman.”0c5fa749c98c7416

Leo hugged 9289979752 him tightly, f80b4fdada crying.4edf6374adad77f8

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“Let’s go back, Ian. Let’s go back. We’ll live together again, just the two of us at Rose-Hulman.”9c93acb2492ea690

Leo looked up, 850c6bd3f0 his face wet 4a50082596 with tears, and be5a7f5148 told Tim they adbc0fbe2d needed a cab. The two of them 559c901d5c practically carried the trembling, 781f157440 intermittently screaming Ian down f812712daa the hill.e52a9742c0f001c9

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The dark path, though ae5ea8f1f4 feeling long, wasn’t far 14df54e9aa at all. Tim Hogan flagged a be211b1dd9 taxi in the middle 3f6fa77c15 of the road as 17d57ce486 Ian screamed a few e0afbf1e83 more times. Ian and Leo 1c2730ea5a got in, and e298544fcd after hesitating, Tim 715dce5e12 squeezed in as 08810a3a54 well.b81b968fb4f3dae2

“Take us to Ains Hill.”10c1d4d742990045

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As Leo 180ddf52da gave the cfa94b65fc address to da469a7d26 the driver, 334537d49a the taxi fbe0a9b818 started moving. Leo was still 599196f8df crying. Holding Ian fd1f83890e tightly, he db58be9167 wept like f848391643 he was b9491463c8 the one f710af32cf in pain.8a1117617d869d8b

Aside from the d2f1147774 occasional moan that 3207384259 escaped through Leo’s ca0d02ed39 sobs, the taxi 0a239489c6 was filled with eb2df79397 silence. Tim clenched and unclenched 43783e5db6 his fists, his face 0f25a701cc taut with helplessness. Though he didn’t know 31d6365fd0 Ian as intimately, he, b8a94c2cbc too, wanted to comfort e71af79338 him but found it 09aadfe955 difficult to reach out.e698321142929584

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“Ian, Ian… You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Don’t hurt, Ian. Please, Ian…”24db853448b446c6

Leo’s tearful 44808b849f murmurs continued 482be2c1d4 like a c306392be9 prayer. As his 8ef52c2b71 crying slowly 8fb170be74 subsided, Ian’s 83c07b2730 groans also 4a7fb504de gradually quieted. Ian closed 03a9a4c185 his eyes, e59c02a68a and Leo, bbcdc5fe8d holding his f1ebe22d5a breath, watched 93815fe176 as his 3cbe7ecd1c eyelids twitched. Eventually, the dd44646ab9 taxi left 04a9d268b0 the city cce43f61cb lights behind, e087a913f2 merging onto 0f598e1722 the dark, 13842b7400 empty freeway, 0e7f612f95 cloaked in 27f1aaf41b silence. Suddenly, Ian opened aee92587b7 his eyes and 715debfc31 asked abruptly.a9edda4215cd7f5a

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“Where are we going?”adc282a86967562a

Both Leo 1679607d65 and Tim 2b670ea4a7 screamed his 7b10936d23 name in eddbe806a7 unison.52d350f1fdbfecbe

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“Ian!”31816f4b97fcfe71

“Are you okay now? Hey, Ian. Say something.”5559fc739742b008

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Ian, his gaze c1d5c623d5 unfocused, pointed out 5e28931695 the window.aae0a87355e5504d

“Where are we going?”f037c528ad7ce9fa

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Leo wiped f40db0d1bd his face 5032d83ac4 with his 1251d629d3 fist and c0f1f8ac1d laughed awkwardly. His tear-stained 045ca08fe8 eyes curled 82aebfef49 into a 32d76103b6 crescent shape, 7b87db9401 making him 045162ac5f look even 55c200b1db more pained.d1f721f71fb9f5fb

“Thank goodness. Really… thank goodness, Ian. We’re going to Rose-Hulman. You’re not well… so we’re…”2f22ac3d2d40cb38

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“If I’m sick, why are we going to Rose-Hulman?”bdf33b53a62e4152

“Huh? Because… you’re not well…”90c04177b34d4c11

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Ian frowned bf4bbb745b as he 2dc757b4ca looked at 19bec39ded Leo.f11a662e5217d383

“Why would we go to school if I’m sick? Besides, Rose-Hulman is in Indiana, right? This isn’t the way to the airport.”16f9cf78caa21bd6

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“…….”26ca09c61609a41e

Leo’s mouth 05af2941f0 fell open, d93f4a462f his pupils 5dd94eca7b dilated in 938bdc0357 shock. Tim Hogan, noticing Leo’s 4289657d06 reaction, bit his lip. Even he, a dd51deb29a stranger to their eb4a65a454 circumstances, could sense 561b27c235 that something was 419347fa7d wrong.aacc62ab39ceabdc

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Stuttering, Leo 69d2dde913 managed to 6c6b9d9223 speak.f3214fa2b67d042b

“Ian… Did you… Did you think Rose-Hulman was a university?”3bacfc0b98717ac6

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“What?”28ae680331c4f6d9

Ian, shaking his 1b2744bee1 head at Leo’s c2c7e2cf1d strange question, replied.9156ed3f12ad7c12

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“What are you talking about? Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. That’s where we met. You told me we were roommates there.”acd0e9a4cc143355

“No, Ian.”2029ef46471c7a60

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Leo’s face, pale in 6f3b178e26 the dark, responded in 5c37c19d12 a small voice.e16ba3e7fcef05d6

“We didn’t meet at the Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology in Indiana.”3bc2d46913cf1b46

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To Ian, Leo’s 6f7338e8f3 face looked like 9522648a43 a ghost lost c0f5a275c4 in despair, just 42c0b7880c as the endless a320eb9e8a road was swallowed c40ea44fc1 by darkness, hiding fd1e6b547b their destination.7ad6279a77f743bf

“It was Rose-Hulman Psychiatric Hospital.”fd6a139313ed07d8

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“What?”dbc8a0d13bc8ef08

Ian stared, horrified, alternating fd1d519bca his gaze between Leo aa07694cea and Tim. In that moment, f2d57448ea he understood. The people he c0c2c4ab17 thought were ghosts 1e5922a0f1 were actually real, 412b7a65c3 and he was 32a46d92f0 the one who 67a3ceb8a1 had been a aa144330e5 ghost all along.ff06f67c66012956

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Everything Ian b5432b3a59 had believed 010372a20d in shattered 24e01756e8 all at a9531bcbc6 once, like 7843c6e6c0 the climactic 631fde5538 twist of cd513921e4 a movie. The difference between the 4668778f8c movies and reality, however, 57af9662ce was that reality’s twist ce77be33db came with real pain.5e44e3f1de4e4c4c

“Ah… Aaaah!”8d02ebc3e0de5cc3

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Amidst the mind-ripping d8459da749 pain, the only cd2e746e86 thing Ian could ad5fe36c27 do was lose d961237d13 consciousness.4e8a7f1757b630c5