C | Chapter 8.2 | Breakdown | Crack in the Perfection

“Tell me why a fifteen-year-old shouldn’t have sex.”

Even though he was only fifteen, in Korean age, that’s seventeen, a high school freshman. At that age, about a third typically had some sexual experience. For someone in Ian’s class, the figure was more than half. Ian couldn’t see why age should be an issue.

“Because I’m not fifteen.”

Leo chuckled, tossing the basketball he had been playing with in his palm as he sat. Despite the distance, the ball flew easily and cleanly through the hoop in the yard.

“Wow, no way.”

Ian, his hair damp with sweat, shook his head vigorously as he glared at Leo.

“How can you be so good?”

“Ah, that was just luck.”

“Liar.”

“Really.”

Leo flashed that mischievous smile again. His sleeveless shirt was soaked with sweat from playing basketball for over two hours. When the wind blew, the smell of sweat spread. Ian, without realizing it, took a deep breath. He liked Leo’s scent. The mix of body warmth and scent was always warm and comforting.

“It’s not like I’m good at everything.”

“Wow, you really were annoying just now. You enjoy saying that, don’t you?”

Leo reached out and ruffled Ian’s hair.

“Just playing modestly so the kid doesn’t feel down. Unlucky, he says.”

His scent was warm and affectionate. Kind and gentle. Just like he mingled effortlessly with Ian, who was twelve years younger. That’s why Ian wanted to be by his side, not just now, but always.

“I want to sleep with Leo.”

Ian’s voice dropped to a whisper, causing Leo to stop what he was doing. He turned his head away and flopped down on the lawn.

“Little kids should sleep with other little kids, not with an old guy like me. Plus, you don’t even know if you’re gay or not. You should make that decision after you’re sick of using your dick with little girls.”

“Leo is young. And I’m not interested in girls.”

“I’m old enough to be an uncle to you. And you should try being with a girl before deciding whether you’re interested or not.”

Ian lay down next to Leo. The fluttering blue sky somehow made his eyes sting.

“Don’t you like me?”

“It’s not about liking or not liking. You’re just not a sexual object to me.”

“Why?”

“In this country, it’s usual. You go to jail if you sleep with a fifteen-year-old.”

“You think I would report it? Don’t you trust me?”

“Plus, I’m a civil servant. Come on, kid. Because of you, I can’t just kick my newly blossoming career to the curb.”

Ian’s eyes widened.

“Leo is a civil servant?”

“Well, for now.”

“But you’re not even working.”

“I told you, I’m on vacation. Did you forget?”

“Is the vacation this long?”

“It’s just three weeks. Not long at all. It’s a reward for passing the promotion exam. Plus, once I get my official orders, I might not be able to return to this country for about ten years.”

“What?”

Ian bolted upright.

“You’re going to be abroad for ten years? Where?”

Leo reached out and grabbed the hem of Ian’s clothes.

“Lie down, kid. Why are you so agitated?”

As Leo said, Ian was agitated. He clung to Leo’s clothes as if he would tear them.

“Where are you going? Tell me, hurry!”

As Ian raised his voice, Leo clicked his tongue lightly.

“Tch. I wasn’t supposed to tell you… Europe or North Africa. Spain or Algeria maybe. If you’re asking if you can visit during vacation, the answer is obviously no. Even if it’s Europe, you couldn’t even find the place where I’ll be stuck.”

Countries he had never visited felt too far away. Yet now he was told that even in those distant lands, he’d be in an even more remote place. A tremendous sense of despair weighed down Ian’s shoulders.

He grabbed Leo by the collar and pulled him close. Tears burst out first. Ian, weeping, kissed Leo. Leo’s lips tasted of salty seawater. As Leo left Ian’s lips clumsily explore inside his mouth, he quietly stroked Ian’s head while the kiss continued. When Ian pulled away from the kiss, Leo asked.

“Were you satisfied, kid?”

No way. A brief kiss couldn’t satisfy him. Ian wanted to be a part of Leo. He wanted to be tightly attached to him, never separated, anywhere.

“You might think sex is a huge deal at fifteen, but it really isn’t. After the first time, things calm down pretty fast. Don’t just throw yourself at someone for just that.”

Leo was wrong. Ian didn’t desire him out of lust. He wanted Leo to love him, just as he loved Leo.

Because then he wouldn’t leave.

No, because then he wouldn’t abandon him.

“I want to sleep with Leo.”

Ian said again, his face pale, still shedding tears. Leo gently wiped his face with the back of his hand and responded.

“I guess that’s not possible. Not just because I’m a civil servant.”

“What else then?”

“My dick is too big for you.”

Leo laughed darkly, as if to scare him.

“You’d be crying and begging for forgiveness before I even got it all in. Have you ever had anything up your ass? I hear it’s awful even if you just stick a pen up there. Not that I’m saying you’re getting above your station, kid. Oh, are you into that sort of thing?”

Leo’s mischievous blue eyes stared down at Ian as he grasped his neck. With a sharp sound, their foreheads collided. Tears flowed again.

“That’s your punishment for such impudent thoughts. How dare you.”

Ian remained frozen, weeping silently, until Leo slipped his finger under Ian’s chin and tilted his head up.

“Hey, kid. Does it hurt that much?”

“…”

“Having my dick in your ass would hurt a hundred times more. How about it, has your cheeky libido calmed down yet?”

“…”

“Hey, kid. Are you mad?”

“…”

“So, you really want to poke my ass, huh? That would be really troublesome.”

“…”

“Kid, say something. Why are you crying so much?”

As Leo continued to press him, Ian eventually spoke in a breathless, strained voice.

“There… was…”

“What was?”

“I’ve… put it… in before.”

“What…?”

Leo’s face turned icy cold. His usually warm blue eyes were too chilling, making Ian feel like his whole body was cooling down.

***

“…”

Ian’s eyelids flickered open. The blurred line between dream and memory had abruptly ended. Someone placed a cold glass against his foggy forehead.

“Drink.”

It was Revenant, freshly showered, wearing a bathrobe.

“Ah,”

Ian took the glass, sipping the cool water, then grimaced. His lips were sore.

“It hurts.”

“Looks like you’ve got a wound.”

Revenant snatched the cup back and set it down carelessly nearby. He leaned in, gripped Ian’s chin, and pried his mouth open to carefully inspect inside. Suddenly, he stuck out his tongue and licked the torn inside of Ian’s lip.

“Ouch!”

Ian flinched and clutched at Revenant, who looked at him with a mischievously furrowed brow and smirked. Ian pushed his face away with the palm of his hand.

“Don’t laugh. It’s your fault I’m hurt, you beast.”

“Me? No, you bit yourself.”

“What?”

“You forget too easily. Georg walked in on us tangled up together, said he’d wait until we were done, then left. After that, you insisted on making no noise at all…”

“Shut up!”

Ian reached out to push Revenant away, but Revenant quickly caught his wrist. In a moment, their bodies overlapped, and Ian, regretting his attempt to rise, was pressed back down onto the bed.

Revenant grabbed Ian’s wrists with one hand, pinning them above his head, and with his free hand, he began to slide under the sheets. His thumb started to tease Ian’s still-swollen nipples due to the night’s activities. Ian twisted his waist, a tingling pain spreading through him.

“This is why you’re a beast. Thinking about it again so early?”

“It’s already past four in the afternoon.”

How long had they been at it?

They had arrived at the hotel a little after eight the evening before. As soon as they had entered the room, Revenant had pounced, so…

“Beast.”

Revenant chuckled, pulling down the bedsheet with his lips.

“If you’re trying to dissuade me, you might want to try something else. Calling me a beast hardly sounds like an insult.”

“Lecher.”

“Anything else?”

“A sex maniac. A sex junkie.”

Laughter grew louder.

“That’s rather exciting.”

It was undeniable—the pressure of something hard and hot pressing down was unmistakable. Ian startled and seriously tried to push Revenant away.

“Are you insane? After last night?”

“I’m serious. That’s why I didn’t bother putting on clothes after showering. I figured they’d come off soon anyway. And you slept quite a bit longer.”

Which meant he had been in a state of frustration all morning.

“You’re insane. Stop it. Too much sex will kill you.”

“I’m still alive.”

“Not you, me!”

Ian pretended to yank Revenant by the neck, then headbutted him. A slight painful sound echoed. Ignoring the tears forming at the corners of his eyes, Ian shouted.

“Your dick hurts a hundred times worse than this in my ass!”

“…”

Revenant said nothing. Memories related to Leo never elicited any reaction from him.

“Sorry it hurt, but it’s unavoidable.”

A moment later, Revenant murmured in a nonchalant tone. Ian, still squirming in his embrace, replied.

“How would you like it if I did that to you?”

“That’s unlikely.”

“Then let’s not do it at all.”

“I didn’t say to whine during sex.”

“I’m not joking. Do you know why I can’t move under you? Because you were so intense last night that I don’t have the energy to run away.”

Revenant tilted his head and sucked Ian’s lips. After releasing them, his eyes were intensely dark.

“Your words are quite provocative. Keep going.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“About how hard you fuck. That’s filthy.”

“Keep going. You like my dick, don’t you? Begging for it, licking it.”

“That was because you started it…!”

“Next time, don’t just lick, suck. Your ass sucks it in as if it’s going to gulp it down. Learn from that.”

“Hey, you shameless… Shut up!”

“No joke. How well can you suck? Let me know.”

Revenant grabbed Ian’s fingers and shoved them into his mouth. Watching Revenant thoroughly lick his fingers, Ian’s face turned pale.

“What are you trying to do?”

Instead of answering, Revenant let out a deep laugh and pulled the sheet all the way off, exposing Ian’s naked body. Ian truly felt frightened.

“What are you doing? Stop…”

Revenant gripped Ian’s wet fingers and directed them towards his legs. The fingers that still throbbed enticingly touched the entrance. Ian jumped.

“Are you crazy? Stop!”

Revenant pulled Ian’s neck toward his chest with one arm, and with the other hand, he guided Ian’s hand between his legs. Their fingers pressed together at the entrance. As Ian startled, Revenant pulled his face in and held him tightly.

“Slowly. Feel it.”

Thump, thump.

More than anything, Revenant’s heartbeat thundered through the cheek pressed against him.

Thump, thump, thump.

His heart raced as if its brakes had failed.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Heat began to rise in Ian’s head.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.

Two fingers slid inside, the pulsing inner walls clutching at them. Revenant’s fingers moved inside, teaching the way. Ian followed, moving his own hand. He prodded and scraped something inside.

“Ah, mmm…”

A strange noise leaked between his lips. Ian was startled to find himself inserting fingers into his own ass and moaning. Revenant leaned down to nibble on Ian’s earlobe and whispered.

“You’re irresistible. Addictively so. I can’t control myself.”

“Huh,”

At those words, Ian’s penis, still tender, began to swell. The two fingers moving inside him loosened the tight entrance. Revenant undid the knot of his bathrobe and became naked too. His mercilessly erect penis advanced toward Ian.

“Review time. Start sucking.”

Ian glared at him, frowning. Revenant licked his lips.

“You have no idea how sexy you look when you stare like that.”

Ian grumbled and brought his lips to Revenant’s penis.

As if he’d let Revenant have all the fun. Right after waking up to such stimulation. It couldn’t be good for his heart.

Ian opened his mouth wide and took in Revenant’s penis. From above, Revenant’s voice came.

“Don’t stop with the fingers, either.”

You shameless man.

Ian wanted to curse, but his heart kept pounding. He gripped Revenant’s thick penis with one hand, his lips clenching around it, while his other hand probed deeper inside. Behind him, a terrifying force pulled at his fingers. Inside his mouth, the thick penis ravaged his tongue.

“Mm…hmpf.”

Ian couldn’t swallow all the saliva and it dribbled down. Revenant wiped it with his fingers.

“I can’t hold back any longer.”

The penis slipped out of his mouth. With eyes dark as night, Revenant laid Ian down on the bed. Removing Ian’s fingers, Revenant replaced them with his tongue.

“Ah, oh, what,”

Revenant lifted one of Ian’s legs onto his shoulder, and the other was raised, leaving his lower half completely exposed and loudly sucked. Looking down, Ian could see Revenant’s tongue undulating. Ian felt like he was about to burst as air filled his lungs, his body flushing red, and the inside heated even more fiercely.

“Ah, stop… stop,”

As Ian twisted his waist and cried out, Revenant merely lifted his head slightly.

“Stop?”

“That, stop… stop putting it… in.”

Revenant’s tongue swept over the entrance.

“Ask me to fuck you.”

“Damn… pervert.”

“Just once.”

The tongue lightly prodded the entrance, which seemed to crave to suck something in.

Really going crazy.

What to do?

Damn, is sex supposed to be this humiliating?

Ah, damn it. I feel like I’m going insane.

Ian looked miserable as he spoke.

“Fuck… fuck me… ah, damn it,”

The next moment, it felt like his body lifted before Revenant’s penis plunged in.

“Ah!”

Ian let out a muffled moan as he pulled Revenant closer. Revenant embraced Ian in return.

The warm embrace felt as caring and tender as when Ian was fifteen. Their bodies collided, the constricting walls, the boiling desire, the surging pleasure all made the moment intensely real.

I’m not fifteen anymore.

You’re only holding me now.

“Your dick is too big for me.”

Ian murmured between moans. Revenant looked at him with a breathless, shameless grin.

“So, you dislike it?”

“You’re really annoying right now.”

You’ve only just come back to me. At fifteen, you made me cry like this. When Ian had said he wanted to sleep, Leo had hit his forehead and said it would hurt even more. Ian had clutched his clothes and wept. Leo had joked and comforted Ian.

He tried to comfort him. But the tears didn’t stop. Ian had told him through tears.

-I’ve actually done it.

“What?”

In the throes of pleasure, Ian suddenly stiffened, shocked.

“Ian?”

Revenant stopped moving and called out to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah, just remembered something,”

Just then, like Leo’s eyes then, Revenant’s eyes were becoming cold now. Ian felt a chill and wrapped his arms around himself. Something was wrong.

-I’ve actually done it.

He should never have said that. No matter what. Especially not to Leo.

“But why?”

The question blurted out wasn’t really meant for Revenant. It was directed at his own tightly sealed memories.

“Ian…”

Revenant reached out slowly as if to embrace him, but Ian dodged and abruptly sat up.

“I’m just remembering something…”

That’s when it happened.

The ringing of a telephone cut through the silence of the closed room. Soon after, the sound of knocking followed by Georg’s dry yet polite voice flowed through.

“Mr. Winchell, you have a call. Mr. Leo Sebastian is…”

Revenant shouted angrily.

“Hang up!”

“…I was going to, but he insists it’s very urgent and important to talk now.”

Ian scrambled up, grabbing at the sheets and ran to the door. He flung it open and reached out to Georg.

“Where’s the phone?”

“…”

Georg, uncharacteristically, lost his words for a moment as he looked at Ian. Ian didn’t realize just how pale and trembling he was standing there.