C | Chapter 11.3 | Conclusion | Crack in the Perm

It wasn’t Leo Sebastian.

The man who had aimed the gun at Leo had been shot.

“Wha… What?”

Still clutching Ian tightly, Lloyd dove aside. Leo did too, but unfortunately, Lloyd was quicker. He swiftly picked up the gun dropped by the fallen man and pointed it into the darkness.

“Who’s there? Who are you?!”

Ian struggled to escape from Lloyd’s grip. Lloyd then pulled Ian close, using him as a human shield.

“Whoever you are, come out! Or else, this…”

“Ian.”

From the shadows, the Revenant’s voice reached out. Ian’s eyes widened.

How was he here? Every time, he appeared at the most desperate moments. Ian’s eyes filled with tears. Unlike the fear that slowly receded, a wave of longing rose up, nearly unbearable in this moment. He missed him so much.

“Where… where are you? Where are you… I…”

“Don’t move a muscle.”

The Revenant’s deep, heavy voice spread through the darkness.

“You have nothing to fear. As long as I’m here, you won’t be hurt. Just stay exactly as you are.”

“Who are you?!”

Lloyd fired towards the voice. Bang! But then, another voice came from a different direction.

“Good. Stay still.”

“Where are you?! Where are you hiding?!”

Lloyd spun around, chasing the voice. Bang!

“One last time.”

Another voice came, this time from yet another angle. Before Lloyd could finish hearing the words, he fired even more desperately.

Bang!

There was only one gunshot. Just like all the others before.

“Ugh… Ahh!”

Ian smelled the warm, fresh scent of blood coming from behind him. In a daze, he shoved Lloyd Gillen away and ran. The next moment, warm arms wrapped around him.

“Leo!”

Ian instinctively called out the most familiar name.

“Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Good… Good. Thank goodness.”

Revenant held Ian in his arms, his lips moving faintly, though Ian couldn’t make out the words. To Ian, Revenant’s expression looked almost like someone in prayer. The pounding rhythm of their chests pressed together, each heartbeat blaring against Ian’s eardrums. He could tell that something was boiling over within Revenant, just as fiercely as it was within him.

“Don’t move away from me.”

With Ian in one arm, Revenant took slow, measured steps towards Lloyd Gillen. On the ground, Gillen was dragging himself forward with his left arm, his right arm already injured. He was reaching for the gun he’d just dropped, but this time Leo Sebastian was faster. Leo snatched it up right before Gillen’s eyes, almost as if taunting him.

“Damn it, give me that gun!”

Leo furrowed his brow, clearly unimpressed.

“Would you hand it over if you were me? Are you stupid?”

Lloyd swung his arm furiously.

“Hand it over, now!”

Thwack! Before Leo even had a chance to react in fear, Revenant kicked Gillen’s arm away. A loud thud echoed as Lloyd toppled forward. Revenant pretended to merely nudge Lloyd’s arm with his foot, only to stomp down on it with force. With a sickening crack, Lloyd’s arm twisted. It seemed like a bone had broken.

“Argh!”

Lloyd screamed, and Leo yelled, “Ah! Don’t kill him!” but Revenant didn’t pay any attention.

“Planning to run?”

Revenant asked, staring down at Lloyd, whose face was twisted with pain and rage as he glared back.

“If you say you’ll go, I’ll let you. Try running on your two legs. A person can run even without using their arms, right?”

“…”

“Sometimes they can even manage with just one working leg.”

Thud! Crack!

“Aaaagh!”

This time, Revenant stomped down on his ankle. The impact came down on the top of Lloyd’s foot, shattering the navicular bone with a crunch.

“Let’s see if you can still run without either leg.”

Only then did Lloyd attempt to stand, staggering as he dragged one leg and his limp arms, stumbling into a frantic run. Leo Sebastian shouted after him.

“Hey! He shouldn’t be getting away! He’s a killer! We have to turn him in to the police!”

“Ahh…” Revenant murmured, biting down as if chewing on his own words.

“I let him go on purpose. Any longer, and I might’ve actually killed him.”

The chilling tone in his voice made Leo’s chest tighten, though he wasn’t exactly frightened.

“Good thing—I went through all that trouble to gather evidence.”

Ian, who had been clinging breathlessly to Revenant, turned his head.

“Wait… evidence?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not totally sure it’s solid.”

Leo pointed to the music box he’d left on the charred desk.

“I had the camera rolling while that murderer was ranting. If we’re lucky, it recorded. And even if the camera’s damaged, the police can recover the footage.”

“Wow…” Leo grinned smugly. “Not bad, huh? I told you, didn’t I? I asked if he’d killed Marcus Winchell. And he didn’t even respond. A sharp prosecutor would tear him apart over that.”

“Le-Leo…”

“So don’t go doing anything stupid, Ian. This whole plan of yours to confess to killing your stepfather… Your lover wouldn’t be happy if you went and took the blame for murder on his behalf. Right?”

“…”

Revenant turned slightly to look at Ian, still holding him tightly, his embrace unyielding despite the awkward position. Ian didn’t protest, even though it strained his neck to look up at him from such a close distance. He simply kept staring. In his mind, Ian thought how wonderful it would be if he could just stay like this, looking at Revenant forever, doing nothing else for the rest of his life.

Revenant’s face filled his gaze, so close, with no other details in view, and slowly, he parted his lips.

“…Was that really your plan?”

“What happened? You were captured. How did you get out?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s a foolish idea for a kid.”

“I’m asking how you got out. Did you post bail or something? Could that happen in just a day? Weren’t you detained by the CIA?”

“Answer me. Promise you won’t do something like that.”

“Don’t tell me you broke out! You answer me first.”

“…”

Revenant pressed his lips together, briefly at a loss for words as Ian stood firm, unrelenting. Leo took this moment to interject.

“Hey, just listen. Since we have that evidence, no one has to become the killer,” he explained, but neither Ian nor Revenant paid him any mind.

“Answer me. What happened? I need to know to decide what to do!”

“And you…”

Revenant grabbed Ian’s hand that was clutching his collar tightly.

“How much do you remember? That I killed your stepfather?”

“No! You didn’t kill him!”

Ian threw his arms around the Revenant, pressing his cheek to his chest. He could hear the pounding heartbeat, thudding in his ears. The beat of the Revenant’s heart flowed into Ian, just like back then—when the sound of the Revenant’s footsteps had become Ian’s own pulse. The rhythm of the Revenant’s heart had become his heartbeat. Ian wished he could just become his heart entirely.

Then, I’d live inside you forever. I’d keep you alive with my movements. I’d beat for you, every single day.

“I had to kill him. I did it. You did nothing wrong.”

The Revenant’s hand reached out, gripping the back of Ian’s neck, pulling him close.

“…So, you’ve remembered everything.”

“…Yeah.”

Tears filled Ian’s eyes.

“And so… here we are. You’ve become a murderer and had to leave this country, my mom got killed trying to gather evidence, and I… I went insane.”

A tear rolled off his cheek and fell onto the Revenant’s chest, touching not only his skin but his unseen heart as well. The Revenant’s fingers dug into Ian’s hair, turning white with tension.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not even your fault. Why are you apologizing?”

“If…”

If, back then, when you were fifteen, I had just admitted to being a monster. Then this whole tragedy could’ve ended with me alone.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m the one who made you a murderer… that day.”

Ian hugged him tighter, rubbing his damp eyes on the hem of his clothes.

“If I hadn’t been so foolish… if I hadn’t thought of something as dumb as dying… If I hadn’t left the gun there, you wouldn’t have killed him.”

“That’s a stupid thought. Even without the gun, I would’ve killed that man.”

“No, Leo. No. I made you a murderer.”

“No. I would’ve killed him. If there was no gun, I’d have done it with my bare hands.”

Ian lifted his head slightly, looking up at him. The tear streaks on his face seemed to shatter like glass under the weight of the moment.

“Leo…”

“I’ve always been like this.”

I’m not human. I’m a beast, kid.

The Revenant let Ian go. As the warmth left him, Ian suddenly felt a chilling cold, instinctively stepping forward, but the Revenant had already put distance between them.

“Why… are you doing this?”

“I need to leave.”

The chill in his voice matched the cold in Ian’s chest, prompting him to shout.

“W-Where?”

“Like you said… I ran away.”

Director Oakley had promised to send Walter Stone and a team after him. The Revenant had told him to shove it and pushed him aside, storming out of the interrogation room. He didn’t forget to snatch the executive phone on his way out. After slipping out of the CIA building disguised as a factory, he called Georg, who picked him up in ten minutes.

Clearly, Director Oakley had let him go. Reporting that a detainee had escaped CIA custody without casualties would bring Oakley a headache with the Department of Defense and the Justice Department. He intended to leave this debt unpaid until he could ensure Ian’s safety, planning to return and settle things later. After all, when he made his escape, he still had unfinished business with the CIA.

But Ian had remembered everything, even the things he’d hoped to keep hidden. Yet, Ian seemed okay. Thank goodness. He thought if Ian remembered everything Marcus Winchell had done to him, he’d face something even worse. But Ian was alright. He was truly alright. As always, Ian made him feel like he was alright too.

Now, he could leave—with this strange sense of peace, with the guilt entirely his own, almost contentedly resting on his shoulders.

It really was a relief.

“I need to go before they catch me. So then—”

Just as the Revenant took a step away, Ian rushed forward and grabbed him, not giving him a chance to pull away. The Revenant was slightly shocked that Ian had moved faster than him.

“Kid…”

“You don’t have to run, you don’t! You didn’t kill anyone. I killed him!”

“…Ian—”

“I’ll be fine. I’m crazy, remember? They’ll send me to a hospital instead of prison. Then you can visit me anytime. That’s what they did at Rose Hillman too. You don’t have to keep running. This time, I’ll save you.”

“…What nonsense are you spouting, kid? My leaving has nothing to do with that.”

If he had to go to an American prison for a murder he’d committed four years before gaining Hevaoulis citizenship, Edouard would be furious. Not to mention King Konrad III would naturally threaten to tear up the military equipment trade agreements with the U.S., and Congress would pass a law to withdraw all their loans from the U.S. the following year. That’s just how they were. Thriving on conflict like it was a divine gift.

As he tried to create space, Ian quickly closed it again.

“Are you going to abandon me again?”

“What—”

“Then take me with you.”

Ian’s fingers gripped him tightly, knuckles turning white.

“You’re all mine. Why would you leave by yourself? Where’s that right?”

“Ha…”

The Revenant hesitated, embracing Ian briefly, then quickly pulled his hand away. Ian had that effect, loosening him up, only to bring him back to a tension that burned even hotter. Whenever he saw someone point a gun at Ian, the feeling that surged within him was something he couldn’t define. The only thing he knew was that if it was all because of him, he could never return to being human again. And in the next moment, as he reassured himself of Ian’s safety, the relief that flooded over him was intense and violent. The Revenant never knew relief could feel so overwhelming.

That’s why he had to leave. He couldn’t tear open Ian’s wounds, inflicted by this beast, condemning them to never heal.

“Let go, kid.”

“Don’t order me around. You’re mine, remember?”

“I’m not the Leo you love.”

“…Why are you saying this? Do you think I still don’t know?”

The Revenant forcibly detached Ian from himself, though Ian resisted with enough force to make his face turn white with strain. The Revenant held him at a distance, staring directly into his eyes.

“The Leo you know is a decent man. Kind, polite to you, and even pretty patient. But that’s not me.”

Ian gritted his teeth, muttering a reply.

“Stop talking like a schizophrenic. That Leo is you. I’m the crazy one, not you.”

“I can never love you the way he did. Never again.”

“…Why are you doing this? What’s the reason?”

“The man thought he was human. I don’t.”

“Stop playing word games. It’s not funny.”

“This isn’t a joke. Do you really not remember what kind of man Marcus Winchell was?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

The Revenant released Ian’s arm, glancing around the study before walking toward the desk. He kicked the half-burned drawer, scattering ash and debris on the floor.

“It’s still here.”

The Revenant bent down, picking up an item from the drawer’s charred remains. It was a picture frame Marcus Winchell had shoved in there carelessly, now blackened but intact due to its heavy metal frame. Turning back, the Revenant handed it to Ian.

“Look.”

“…”

Ian stared at the Revenant with a puzzled expression, taking the frame. Leo Sebastian, looking curious, peeked over Ian’s shoulder to see the picture.

“Gasp.”

The sharp intake of breath came from Leo Sebastian’s lips.

The frame that the Revenant handed Ian was like a neatly folded nightmare, just big enough to hold in one’s hands.

“…….”

Ian let go of the frame with both hands. Even after the fall, the frame, which had remained calm amidst the fire, stayed intact. The nightmare contained within it shimmered oddly in the dim light seeping in from outside the window.

Ian alternated between staring at the photo in the frame lying on the floor and the Revenant standing before him. No matter how much he shifted his gaze until his head ached, neither changed even a bit.

In the photograph, worn by time, was a man with black hair and blue eyes holding his wife and son in his arms. The son also had the same black hair and blue eyes as his father. Though the photo didn’t convey warmth or happiness, it was clear at a glance that it was a family portrait. The man in the photo looked a little older, but he had the same face as the Revenant.

“I’m the same kind of person as that beast.”

The Revenant spoke in a tone devoid of even self-mockery.

“I don’t deserve to have you.”