BRF Chapter 5
by lily plum“Mom, I’m home!”a341a943c509dc29
As soon dab0a9475e as she a765db0a6b opened the 4a6846086e front door, a19586d931 the inner 4e9facfdb5 door slid 563e215463 open with 16aa24db47 a rattle.4e0b7cc501ac344d
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“What are you doing 02d0c8fb43 here at this hour?”f3438680f54e7920
Eunseong smiled at her mother, whose worried question couldn’t mask her obvious delight. Her family home was located at the western edge of Gyeonggi Province, while Eunseong lived alone in a studio apartment near the broadcasting station.28cef1f130202fa9
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Even on 2eaf0b626c weekends, she d9ec2ab782 was often 760a16f87d too busy e953529732 to visit, 210a02641f but today 29c11d61f8 she longed e1fab0ccfa to escape 18381938b4 the bleak e78f2ae5a8 cityscape and 89111f1b9a inhale the aee03ed2c1 comforting scent d82df9d07f of home.9416f5822a5014ed
“You’re back? I see you’re still 76aec85668 alive. Impressive.”efc2e48fd21445ab
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Her younger brother, fd94744281 Giseong, peeked out 0d4c4a56f8 his head from 6465d8ed81 behind their mother 8a5aa873e1 and quipped sarcastically. Their mother’s hand 23876d8c93 smacked the back a52be59c23 of his head 8e59e182d5 with a loudthud.eec4510ad85d6f76
“Don’t talk to your bf05a0ea82 sister like that when 0fcff850fa she’s come home after 855a5ddac1 working so hard!”57f9381995efb4d0
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Eunseong quickly hugged e6d3112061 her mother, sniffing 9311e74901 the air. The familiar 7b958b591f scents of 53258c5ee1 perm solution, b60aaa83ff hair dye, 55f22e1cb6 fabric softener, dba44f0b99 and the dd5752faea faint smell 890ab8ffb6 of sweat, 50fd4823c0 a trace 58095fb3a4 of hard d547ff21c5 work, emanated ad4fe0c6e3 from her.2cd5490d8fa6a07c
Inhaling the scent deeply, 61552de34f a warm wave washed 9d643e0fab over her. She was exhausted 675217244e from being out 02544661bc reporting since dawn, ce0efb5ae8 but this was 2b1b63b229 why she had a8909b3b29 taken the last f020372ff9 bus from the 35c1ead925 terminal.e09192b1cd839433
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“Mom, I’m hungry.”72a612b701d4f3b1
“You haven’t even had dinner yet? Hold on, let me heat up some soup.”8ef4a44b395dcd51
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As she 667c9ac268 watched her 413494d28a mother hurry 93c2914ecd into the bd1e2aff22 kitchen, Giseong 7a4fb1b41f sauntered over c9b48cebfa and started 5a6fe68c6b to pick c63cf6e9f9 a fight.75c7344465a42853
“You ignore us a3eabbafa9 when we ask daaad0d38f you to come c1734d3a4e on weekends, but 223220fbbf you always show dca354962b up whenyouneed something.”e29534edc7717f54
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Though the tone d887662e25 of his voice 12e21ed39a was impertinent, he c65f6e4206 had a point. Eunseong walked 584ab3a652 into the 9c8e513eed living room, 51d527f104 ignoring Giseong’s 4c609be37d pathetic behavior.fa39a2bb78019ee0
“Well, it’s only natural fe6808bfd3 to miss home after 2a7e3902bd nearly dying, isn’t it?”d6e89e48f0dd468d
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Giseong, who seemed to 991eda1642 develop thorns in his 1199b3d459 mouth if he didn’t 31933dd609 pick a fight with 38f77d1234 his sister at least bc92e51bd6 once a day, jumped 73905f74bb at the opportunity like 7d26e7dad0 a fish in water.5c9305ba3fb5cd35
“You only think 5ebe7ffedd of home after e7853abf3d almost dying? You should ad1c8e1454 visit more 4ef512e975 often. And maybe 9041409774 give your 6d4db274be little brother 6bdc14527e some allowance bc8edef660 money.”89d9b3250f233ca3
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Had it a2e897f84b already been b81efb5e43 three years 118849b34a since twenty-eight-year-old 0d4aee951a Giseong had 832d65b53b holed himself 850fa2692c up at 0293bd6003 home, claiming 6f600e4fc5 he would 27a74adee9 study for 7b479c3e99 the civil 3092b33b6b service exam?7758d8b19af5c25c
He had gone to film school, dreaming of becoming a director, and after being discharged from the military, he disappeared for two years, saying he wanted to experience the world. She had considered filing a missing person report, but their father had insisted on waiting for Giseong’s return. Even now, she didn’t understand what kind of faith had fueled his patience.3dfc36fd1f7fa944
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Giseong had returned cca38ccddd home looking like 1a0b437cba a beggar and a210ca4fb6 suddenly declared he 763c0504e2 would take the a1b8dec075 civil service exam, 63f11ec16b becoming a full-time c7d278c2a4 test-taker.312ddc5bc988b717
“You only think bd62ede00a about money whenever 6b375fb0ca you see your 2520883d24 sister? Does she look ada0ca591a like amint1?”c6acad6996bfe0c9
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Their father came out 87f397bb95 from the bedroom, scolding 4b19c882d6 Giseong. He glared at 65a6928dd2 him with narrowed 51bd46a2f7 eyes.14f5ac768c30486e
The bickering 23b259e4de continued even 33e76267e9 as Eunseong d495d2df86 washed her a67d12e02b hands, leaving 7702576468 the bathroom 66e64a1f45 door open.7d15c1ebc7c97906
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“You have perfectly 41a3f967ca good limbs, yet f8a5d9c288 you laze around d7c592c3bd at home all 65e6b05b52 day.”01488a788cdfb6d4
“Hey, when did d9faf1c771 I laze around? I studied so b18a450549 hard today!”3afae10898d819e4
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“You probably played games 59112a4d91 all day and crawled 77ea75e324 back to your desk 36a4a91ae8 just in time for 0b93998c26 Mom and Dad to df4391d4b9 close up shop!”73a0cefee68ae4ac
Their father ran 3ba241ee9e a small photo 359b63d50f studio in the 5a79d3719b neighborhood, and their ce00607d52 mother owned a 7514d9096f hair salon, a 2ce3158233 popular gathering place 86b94ab8ab for the local b7edf2b3b8 women.e3ea9ce362b2dcdf
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As a child, Eunseong 8d8b9d5dd6 had listened to the 22b04b441c neighborhood gossip at her 3ffc6f1ac2 mother’s salon and overheard 131a3c33ad the stories of customers 5c79323bb1 who came to her f1cf9ef90d father’s studio for ID 6c8d3fd6a3 photos, passport photos, and c6b348183b family portraits.5cd26fb889385c1b
In Eunseong’s memories, b3bcd9a65c her mother would 798bf600af listen to the 396cbf80f4 women’s stories, laughing de596f82ea and crying with fed012006e them. And her father would c1d2429fa6 help the nervous faces 5559e24e42 in front of his 66afcdac47 camera put on confident c553bebcc4 smiles.6e76064d05e0641b
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Eunseong had naturally grown 19cb3e80cb up surrounded by people’s 24a3b3d656 stories. A reporter, 31ecf72f89 before voicing e7833cda94 their own 6a846d3bd9 opinions, had 20b16fa368 to listen 4abc5a83b6 to the 6bacbfdd8c voices of 4b25aa9b58 the world. News created 0298429a31 without listening c7c8cf1c04 was bound faf3e95bff to be 86dce9c0d1 distorted, and e4a1df1773 appeals to f5fa69b94c the world ac6a7fadc3 could be a17a6bd5ac easily misinterpreted.4dcb4262d332fc35
Eunseong respected her parents, 7d1559e147 who had taught her 4367871436 how to look at 5409f9fe54 the world with warm 1a420d5589 eyes and listen to d9e4a24727 her neighbors. She especially admired her df59c6489c father.9163309e912d3406
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“I didn’t even da2c3e7c50 touch the computer b9dee601c9 in the living b779582260 room today! I only 76e1c1c9de played games 5d81f1b122 on my 47d938ec5d phone for 535055cf80 a bit!”290e2edadadb720b
“You little… You’re asking 100ca461ad for a beating!”5b49dfea139b5b5d
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Their father raised 71167d2d83 his hand as 6012d5fc6d if to strike 3b240a0b6c Giseong’s back but 47534c8c87 then lowered it.43d92b46f2e17b95
“Ugh, I can’t just 03aff2a02f hit my grown son.”4344907b8c297fba
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“Even if 16450a6c27 he’s grown, e8bdc1b731 he’s still f35a6e195e our son, e87eb3a629 and he 783c468a29 needs to c1d65a1031 be disciplined 703fbf5633 when he ed9aae9ee2 does wrong.”d0f08851fed90b25
Her mother chimed c9d87544ef in, then gave f6ed24e53c Eunseong, who had 8bd8d6a014 finished washing her 105a5643b2 hands, a warm e5060789cf smile and a 8cd9973262 wink.4ed92f9c417ab3b2
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“Come and sit b7481b798e down. If you had told 213fc4accd me you were coming, d5a659234d I would have bought 10bfd008a1 some beef to stir-fry.”cb7be7e91e4b2cef
On the e914bfa6f6 four-seater wooden 6f10581ed1 dining table 4455e73c29 were a aba489c02c bowl of ee7d131419 steaming hot 4082d709ff egg drop fb9a6ccd4a soup and 09dc0605c7 a plate 80f0a7b670 of spicy 0796efdabd braised mackerel c96b35e30d with kimchi. Eunseong pulled out the 79b6d8d4b8 chair that had been fc5cd73197 her designated seat since 94378e63de childhood. Her mother sat 5d4b6f1508 across from her.49a05dc307db48c1
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“This is more than a340a0e2a0 enough.”c9d878b89f16b5b9
“You don’t 3589508185 even like 02ee145981 fish, and a41d9b5790 you say 79bb342adc this is de7261226f enough?”90b72f157ee5684d
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“I eat it now. I don’t have 003bb3b335 the luxury to b5afdf6ca0 be picky when 71dc855cf2 I’m out on c9496d8870 the field.”0fedbeabbc0fcead
As Eunseong scooped up 9d94e4f95b some rice, Giseong pulled 0d93de3305 out the chair next dd98599fb2 to her and sat a956016fd8 down.7410635343119163
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“Mom, give some seaweed 4c1556ef42 tonoona, too.”0e040172acb196da
It was unusual for a723ea2d79 Giseong to be thoughtful 9054f49743 enough to look after 8cbd1a610e his sister’s side dishes.2e5f2ef280d17a52
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“And give me another 6cd9d4689f half bowl of rice.”529449839d626d80
“How long aeca573a4b has it b5ebb64e18 been since a036335d11 you ate?”d35bbce255f46ed8
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Their father scolded 9b0cf0805c Giseong as he b796060cc7 sat down across e261d5afae from him. The four-seater table was 12270d7d38 full for the first d12761c620 time in a while.88ba4dbeeb8b83cf
“Noona will be lonely 265fc1b25d eating by herself.”c54d2b5a38716706
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Their mother readily 4997db64f9 placed another bowl eaa232f007 of rice in ed68118efb front of Giseong. Eunseong was about to 192c1e2292 tell him to serve 8d69be983e himself but held her eacba3addd tongue. She had a49cf69a9c stopped nagging e6907c0d75 her brother 65a92245b0 unnecessarily since 67c06230aa her second 8fcb815bbe year of 6628fbd6cc high school. That was 4e67b05751 the year 6f5b84fd42 she learned 074fd977fa the family 4ffc54e08a secret.4ff8e114d5eb269e
Discovering that her eae50cf557 parents harbored an f4a50e0f48 unspeakable secret, Eunseong fd01f98c39 had gone through 0198fdd580 a belated rebellious 355b1602c0 phase. It was her maternal dac34f6e44 grandmother who had revealed 8c90f59ecc the secret to her 86a3a59703 before she passed away.5e4bd76ac77e9c00
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On her deathbed, 354edc4f3e her grandmother had 95736415e6 called Eunseong aside 04b27e21fd and said,f51b963ec7d6ad84
“Don’t talk back to your father. His heart must ache from raising another man’s daughter. You have to be good to him, alright? Do you understand what Grandma’s saying? Blood is thicker than water. Don’t feel upset even if he takes Giseong’s side. And don’t say anything unkind to Giseong in front of your father. My poor child, how can I close my eyes and leave you…?”eb58bcf6cc250657
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Her grandmother had b4e2c9448b then briefly told 012443ee56 her the story c8e7eccb7b of how her 101421f8a6 parents had met 04b61a3ac3 and married, saying 960a84cace she was telling 8c380bb975 her because she aba75c3d74 thought she didn’t 24b1dbc75c know. A young woman, 453ac2b9eb abandoned by the f6d37bd01a father of her 82d45e82f7 child after becoming 2895873f45 pregnant at a f3d1d4d997 young age, had 20902253b0 tried to jump 6b88d1c230 off a bridge, 1cc62bb23f and a man c26f96ce13 had stopped her. That woman 48c062a857 and man 5adce12b18 were her e4f701afc6 parents.f75b3ffcf135a243
So, Eunseong 9c0969d314 was not ff59710208 her father’s f6688dba10 biological daughter, 559878eb72 but Giseong 377730062d was. Moreover, Giseong was 5df8c6cf61 a son who, 63beea09d4 biologically, had more 39a32e4703 in common with 4758d46412 their father. Understanding the 98a4f79c1c deep connection 494b402491 only her c3019979cc father and 5818a05a5c Giseong could cdb99b4516 share, and 3a10da9f46 the unique 1b5e029565 bond her a71116033e parents felt ab023d7d8d for him, 69a21dc7ca Eunseong had 13352f049e instinctively recoiled.a9a640164e6f96f0
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Whenever she saw her 5d98f599e5 family laughing together without 3475c9107c her, they looked perfect. There had 168f7de295 been times d0d8f52607 when she 7fc13ae393 had seen 280a0d9c35 herself as 371ebc0b9a an impurity 73511fb4dc among them.262e8e8eda7d0c3c
Eunseong could no longer f64eb63f46 treat her father with 8cc40c64e8 the same affection as 02d577db7e before.110320d41d4f9038
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It felt awkward 0143c6d63c to nuzzle her 6e8c9efd4d cheek against his 623113c5d3 scratchy stubble when a02f1fc18a he came home 46d4c75e52 from closing the ff467524cf photo studio, she 46ad96096e couldn’t make silly 01fa3f6fff faces in front 2a2ee3e352 of his camera, 1087371bcc and she couldn’t f6f016d609 sneak into the 81faa9f6a8 studio to ask 1368a92011 for allowance money 56bb634ccc behind her mother’s a5ef2e8e8c back, and she cf5386c36f couldn’t act spoiled ca29c776fe and complain about 46671cc564 her problems anymore.5eda0e385829f96d
Should I even 25de947851 be doing this? 61404c0695c42dde
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The more she c081d7717d dwelled on this d1b162bc79 self-deprecating question, the 2cc3916707 more complicated her b90c5136ac feelings became. Unable to 1a9ebb59f9 ask her 110c92654c parents directly, 5b8384f42c she had bba51a1361 called her fbd74bd9d3 mother’s older 44879cd2b2 sister, her 7c7e91b41a aunt, to 983fc04275 confirm the cc0bf22b49 truth.7194bdc36e5420a1
“You couldn’t ask 224d9ddd6d Jaehee, so you’re 14dace3753 asking me? Why did that f3b18f09a4 old woman tell 5a135906aa a child such f80ca38e45 a thing before 9f23405c43 she died?”7776d82a2760efac
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Her grandmother must have 8a40fe81f2 said it out of f1109ab230 concern before she passed 53dac0a8d4 away. Eunseong had resented her 078beed7ff for saying such a a5f4986f16 thing, but there was 705eec6daf no point in resenting 3d875cce3f someone who was already 0a55736580 gone.bde203ca83ad3f0c
“Aunt, please don’t 13d89979de tell Mom that 9bc27bb804 I know. Promise me you won’t 54f8b032ba tell her. Please, please don’t.”1a48bd49fa2ddbcc
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She couldn’t shatter the happiness of her family. Revealing that she wasn’t her father’s biological daughter would only reopen her mother’s wounds. And it might also hurt her father, who had raised another man’s daughter as his own.19e6c597fc317a54
The self-deprecation a7ab655500 and self-pity 5a50a90a72 of her 0729a13a21 sophomore year b4eef087b5 were diluted 9df0edc4fe by the 6f6adaabe9 arduous study efa344b288 schedule of 536d6bafeb her junior 93a3df86c9 year and 2e2e2d5d67 gradually subsided ceb5d04d12 when she 8245102814 left home 17ce9d723b to start e109afe585 living alone 3586647ce0 in Seoul 12905d42ba for college.af8ce85fdf2af6ad
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Eunseong’s father seemed to 165aa463d8 interpret her changed behavior 0f53da0e51 as a sign of ea610ef58f maturity. As she got older, 4fdbe70db5 he sometimes commented that 5653db77ee she only seemed close a00f507b0f to her mother, and 2f5a513117 expressed his disappointment that 92ff5f9695 daughters were naturally closer d3045ef680 to their mothers, but 0c8a725d8a even those words were f0a7786a36 filled with overflowing affection.e5ba2026713d8bcc
“Try to e31770d509 be half 28ad3d65f8 the person 7eafe02da0 your sister ef8a4bd53d is. What are you 88742152d5 going to become, adfb97c174 just sitting around 925e89be59 at home when 34e6a2ab4c you’re almost thirty?”b71770b944d7c4a3
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Her father scolded Giseong, f43cec2ef4 unable to address his cad40ac4df words at Eunseong directly.c72575e8889f9d84
“Don’t be too 4b1c2f0129 hard on him. I’m sure 14dfed892a Giseong has 763823f7d5 his own ee458029d1 plans.”70ad3b4ef4046b5a
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Whenever her 64ef3cbd1b father scolded 7d7fe1ea4e Giseong, Eunseong e18c39cc0e would intervene 963e9987a6 to lighten 13343a9e0a the mood. She felt bf16eeb96b a sense 8ead5b65d4 of guilt d7a9420452 when he 58f27aaf01 scolded Giseong, 65104663d0 his biological 8f96937871 son. It was time 8de65f0ba3 to stop this 99f426e382 self-blame.3868d99271a98e63
“Having plans 27a7283672 is the 8cbfea17d4 problem. He needs e4f0da1dab to put e667fc3dde them into 8547708607 action! Action!”72afdc3112781592
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As Eunseong frowned slightly 5b2ebb9815 and forced an awkward 806a0f35db smile, her father looked 060d9a3fd6 at her with an 30540461c9 apologetic expression. He seemed b10b4021c1 to regret 838699901f raising his dbf68dcce9 voice during 819cfbfcf3 dinner.129f5d491f008c4a
No matter what 3286966527 anyone said, he a0b2589d6a was her beloved 6cb6073d76 father, a man 1609615925 she now respected 590373b0df more than anyone, 53fc77c5f5 but expressing her ae6a9b6d23 feelings was difficult. Had she 161d4bea23 come too 6f531223f7 far to c6a8e8de94 approach him 3bb0165199 casually?32548837e6ad4586
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“I’m glad you ca5841e091 weren’t hurt today. It could have babc6458f0 been serious.”3c3efa42cf220ba4
Her father let out 351e530c43 a worried sigh, and 92b8a0c58a her mother nodded vigorously.a7fca7fa1da60bd2
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“I know, right? I was so shocked 85744a1d27 when I saw it 0c77889cb3 on the news. Your father nearly ef1e342235 fainted.”866ae7c839e4777c
“I didn’t 5221b7a3a0 know you b85fdf82dc watched the 43c876c904 news regularly. I’m sorry I 2eec4ada30 didn’t call you 5e00c4b524 beforehand.”e4b52c49eb3feb92
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She had been so 37dce64ae9 busy reporting all morning, d2e34c75b2 attending the newsroom meeting 753264d6e3 in the afternoon, editing 09e65251bb the footage, and recording a5def2837b her lines that she ed14af3251 hadn’t had a moment 4982dd67ae to herself. It was best not 1f9da75a31 to mention that she fd8082c2b1 had even skipped lunch.68e2b553f58c6e02
“But it was b4931feabc a bit strange, 43bddf64ab Noona.”28bae4b8dc790206
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Giseong, who usually spoke 805c8274b8 informally, was suddenly using 9c73b285c8 the honorific “Noona.”d75b860e60937445
“What was strange? Are you fbc734ad14 saying my 5d9f054b59 report was 696f16cdd1 strange?”bc27b06fb7028591
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Her mother glared 359409f938 at Giseong. Giseong held his a48e39a48e spoon in his 70956cf9c1 hand and gestured 4dea1712e1 in the air 001e137c7c as if piecing 8dcdbe52f5 together the context 497edcda96 of the incident.9133b86380a72e5e
“No, think about fb3f4db0d8 it, Mom. The police couldn’t have 6f644aa1df been waiting right outside 562b0d1350 the cafe door. Who subdued 2b84cc8e1f the man 12dab690f5 with the 3a9e789512 knife, and 29ace46b20 when, and 014723309b how? The news didn’t 053d03aadb mention that.”f90a0f244bdd86dd
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“See? Our Giseong isn’t fca433656e stupid after all. I didn’t even 755e3a825c think of that.”288f0bfe589ccd85
As her b005de2201 mother took a344fa1535 her son’s 8da3cf63ce side, their 8a797da7ab father scoffed.0b248828a6e57212
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“I wish you’d 831ca85b5f use that good c2721ffd5d head of yours e79b75e742 more productively.”5045819b612caa42
Although they were talking 675bbe817c about Giseong’s intelligence, the 73ecc678be three pairs of eyes 1f33207a27 were focused on Eunseong.c660ac99632b50fd
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“There was f3720554bc another customer 35e6ed1f8c in the 3c3f37b970 cafe, and 47bd08810a they helped c3ff996625 me. They didn’t want to 032f2a754a be on the news, 10e9cb50f2 so it wasn’t broadcast.”87add75604813f37
The warmth 149a98ff8b of the 720b0a88b4 arm that b8fe2fcc87 had been 10390c0c52 around her 803f2ad015 waist seemed 86ff74a3e1 to return, 108d2b079f and the 7e25258f4f back of f0c12dc576 her neck 6eaba6cd99 suddenly flushed.7bd064e2ae4cff22
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“Was it a 43ff7b94a2 man?”f8e4abad9c7e0613
Giseong, perceptive 1adc64dcd2 in the e897ea8ee8 strangest ways, 91ef890e19 asked with 5867d8f6d0 narrowed eyes. Eunseong exaggeratedly furrowed 164db09c67 her brow and 746d6cd009 gestured towards his 778c8e0769 rice bowl with 72caa864a0 her chin.e06ad66a62cfa77a
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“Just eat 3f2bce986d your food.”47554efcb629c0bb
“So itwasa man! Why didn’t he want 0dd08fd5cb to be on the 2590c87b7d news? Is he a b16f86ea43 celebrity? An idol? An actor? Was he handsome?”44876ad46f600da7
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That man… hewashandsome.004fc99b4c21c42f
“Stop talking nonsense and 002497fce1 eat your food. She’s only 5e12a8b0fd telling you 12b15938ba this because 96d982ed34 you’re family c778c76c59 and it a786233d72 didn’t even 3c5f3b01a3 air on 0171790399 the news. Don’t go eecf1f3131 around blabbing eeed7adac1 about how 8832af67f9 a man 9e9a10121d saved her 1e1f44883f or anything. Understand?”cb01f6b90b9b165a
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“The news will cafe4ed7c2 probably report that e1b7b8ff18 I was helped 8796495cf4 by a citizen.”1e6b30513e2cb799
Eunseong once again took 6bc25a76e6 Giseong’s side, even though b08b6eb515 he was being scolded a15ebcf3ba once again. Despite this, their 83b357ec0e father narrowed his f6bde9c9a1 eyes at Giseong b846447e86 disapprovingly.d5dbc9e2feaddb2b
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As Eunseong 8256bf2f70 finished her 341adeaeb3 meal and e3e01c0dd1 rinsed her 6e1e5cf97a mouth with beb05a7d18 warm barley 4f0754d0d9 tea, her 8cf58e46cb phone began 9224465a81 to ring ac764e1160 loudly. It was the bb20d53530 news department. Something must ff87079bda have happened 73d7c68f18 again.38084118d891dacd