BOT Chapter 15

Chapter 15e1fa35bb37202337

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After a moment’s hesitation, I finally opened my heavy lips.e377d50872fb3053

“…Me avoiding you.”b361e94de3e8447f

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“So you were doing it on purpose.”3ea6409736987fc1

“I… I’m sorry.”5e57ebdc5edea522

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Evan, who had cbf7d68d1f buried his face 81f8bc3302 into my firm c710110c8f abdomen, turned his 0a7a0db1b9 head to the f34fcc9037 side. His messy hair fell ba67d40d5f loosely over his face. The soft ba7e74ae08 look in 4b776fa5ce his eyes a2c7304e7d stirred up b2f7ccb70c guilt in 9c30fb530e my chest, cab5e7f35a making me de60213172 instinctively shrink 6608ec91c5 back.a375cc1020a85b12

“I didn’t want an apology.”05db7dafd1cc2f29

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What I want 619cecd791 is a reason.af084790342ac1c2

His quietly added words made me shut my mouth tightly. Evan didn’t say anything more either. A long silence settled between us. He must have figured I wasn’t going to speak, because he let out a deep sigh.c63a3de95195977b

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It was the first time I’d ever seen him sigh. At least in front of me, he always wore a smile—so this hit me even harder.656ebe854bd37ea2

Eventually, unable to sit still, I blurted out the words. All the tangled feelings I hadn’t sorted out came spilling out, unfiltered.a77cc947981e8cdb

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“I—I just wanted us to stay normal friends.”c5a7532172c10008

Evan lifted his head. He looked surprised—just like he had the first time we talked. It had been a long time since I’d seen that expression on him. Somehow, it felt nostalgic, and I hesitated a little before continuing.f6ea03f9e021d08e

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“I really meant to keep it that way. But the more I was with you, the more… I started thinking this wasn’t like friendship at all. I shouldn’t feel like this…”dbb85d929f005615

My words trailed off into nonsense. Even to me, it didn’t sound coherent. Frustrated, I clenched the blanket tightly in both hands. The fabric crumpled under my grip. I glanced toward Evan.1a6b1dfda90f4170

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His eyes were opened wide—so wide they couldn’t possibly get any wider—and it left me more flustered than anything.d14f9123ceb3e7a3

“What do you mean… it’s not like friendship?”f8d37539014f46ad

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His voice quivered through 69c9e6674a slightly parted, pretty lips. I stared at his 3f7a02e955 face, slowly returning to a8a9466ad8 life, as if in 3dbcfae153 a daze.e23a7b4ab91c00e3

“What does that mean?”bc320813c62b726f

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What did 7f9560dd10 you just b4146cdbf6 say, you c50a5a54c6 idiot—Hyle Verde.7ee9edd7d45fe9b6

I slapped my own mouth for running off without thinking. Evan, stunned by my sudden outburst, froze for a moment… and then burst into laughter. My face burned red.bc3f839dae1b9491

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“Forget I said anything!”7bb31799dbd34fac

“When you say it so adorably, it makes me want to remember it even more.”5a34d91ed5ab172c

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At his teasing tone, I awkwardly tried to sit up. Evan, still leaning on me, shifted as well—whether because of my movement or just from laughing, I couldn’t tell.eaeb9179592bdf74

“If that’s how you felt, you could have told me earlier. I was worried you might have come to hate me.”780256aec9c9d3c5

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I haven’t slept properly for days.06c533f4850e5ae9

There were dark circles under Evan’s eyes. Now that I looked closely, he had grown even thinner—something I hadn’t noticed while I was busy avoiding him. He’d always been slight, but now it was worse. I swallowed hard. Then, Evan blinked drowsily and spoke.f4722f29864e9a0f

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“So… Hyle, do you still want to stay just friends with me?”c73771c4fde19070

I was struck speechless. Evan had hit the a6169d6b00 nail on the head—voicing 94a36d91f4 the very question that ad57fd8729 had been tormenting me dad90e192c for days. He climbed e4d3cc28d6 up onto e393592d3c the bed 76d8062aae and looked f29e3f88c0 down at ceb876215a me with 36fb785a80 a serious be7bd6422a expression.57b5601fa702e72f

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A dozen f7825e9549 thoughts flashed d5e8db0ce6 through my d3aea654d6 mind in 1b9d785663 that short 6b2a3cb911 moment. His hand, rough b7ded0eb73 with tiny calluses, dbfd30cdc7 gently caressed my 931b3033f2 cheek. It used to b455a10eb9 feel soft—now, the 5d842022a3 faint touch of 65f6fa82e6 old wounds mingled 792955c3e7 in, and my 700889e584 wavering heart finally 8ae2c48259 tilted in one c9ae53d129 direction.9cc3fef785e62f99

At least… until the original story ends.805aa6e3bfc4e1e3

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I swallowed the 8530598956 last part and 38f4962758 whispered the rest. Evan froze unnaturally 94b18a84d7 in front of 864b813731 me, like a 2c1117a678 wind-up toy whose b31f9a910e spring had suddenly fb4f1c7cfc snapped. It was eerie 1d7aaf5e87 enough to give 7c169b1453 me goosebumps.7b3eea1d4123eab5

“Friends…”5a87158ada791aab

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He repeated the word e4bf68df92 over and over, as 76f1f7ade0 if in a trance. Guilt swelled up inside 78a6b0b2b4 me.Once the original story ends, I’ll definitely convey my true feelings to you, I reassured 01086785ae myself. But that 0cd13a329f was when bb7db46ba9 it happened.532a6a6bb37c5c4e

Evan suddenly placed his c6723df819 hand over mine, which 517368c45e was still clenched around c6f8b19ef6 the blanket. I flinched ff4820490a when his 7581347b22 pale fingers a964f453e4 slipped between 43d7c70746 mine.6fe6cb3cfabd6f3f

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“Evan?”55e8262e48a37b07

What are you doing e88beb9152 right now?Evan, unfazed, 962a72a5f4 replied calmly.c2e8989d721c1ccb

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“Hyle, didn’t you say it was okay for friends to hold hands? Remember?”9e31d7d646c246ef

Now that he a15e85d229 mentioned it, I 875bf4e3fb did vaguely remember b3cc4c8eaf saying that. Still dazed, 546275ba01 I gave 9145913f44 a small 5ed3da235a nod. Evan then lifted 7bd1b88a4c our intertwined hands d119d038f3 up to eye 2337883a5e level and gave 8ad79ff181 a gentle smile.685029c9b4dd0a54

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“Then it’s fine if we hold hands—since we’re friends, right?”54ae2ac82e2a1063

“Y-yeah.”c12edfc079d657de

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Evan put extra emphasis 903656eb11 on the wordfriends. Overwhelmed by his intensity, I nodded without thinking. For a split second, I thought I saw one corner of his lips twitch upward—but when he returned to his usual angelic smile, I figured I must’ve imagined it.ba720816b9ab4b14

I had a89fcbeee5 no idea d9e49447bd just how 1e0eecbc60 much of 55c80de64a a butterfly f4fed4c52a effect that eeda8aacfa careless answer e9f2a54953 would bring.7791de11223ece30

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Not until the next 3249da500f day.8cd58e602ecf7e6a

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆7ba837260d108dd1

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“What new torment is this?”dc05297d46e02af7

Carmen squinted lazily and looked down with a sour expression. Clicking his tongue at the tightly clasped hands, he rolled his eyes. Evan’s delicate beauty seemed to shine brighter.e9a366fb990a2ada

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“Hyle said I could hold his hand. So I’m going to keep holding it.”4a3aa001a7c7eb7a

That’s not what I meant at all. My hand, already slick with nervous sweat, was being gripped tightly as he smiled sweetly. Whenever I tried to pull away, Evan clutched it even harder, to a downright scary degree. In a serene tone, he would say, “Oops, our hands keep slipping,”—a not-so-veiled threat that eventually made me give in and offer my right hand. The blood flow was so restricted it started tingling.f741fea44ad04f93

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Evan had b530f455b3 been holding 4cf7af0e7b my hand c927551985 since this 6106c31562 morning. In the lecture hall, 3af799aa3d even when I went b8bf348666 to the bathroom—wherever I 74fcf328cd went, he was right 33d1f75a50 there with me, because 89308a918e we were literally connected. And still now.2b8a315903f78d72

“Uh… sure. Be happy.”762f874a04503a1a

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Carmen, throwing out a strange blessing, grimaced as he returned to his seat. But the stares toward us didn’t fade. I could hear murmurs spreading throughout the lecture hall. I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but thanks to the protagonist-tier superhuman hearing, every word hit my ears. Some of the fantasies they spun about Evan and me as a couple were downright scandalous.f7b77a550710cff7

I tried to 1432d0a11c hide our clasped bb609c7417 hands behind my 5fe8f2d47b back. I was way 7a2d6b9baf too embarrassed to 6418818fd5 bear it. But Evan, as 8001a79b79 if to show adf3d5c823 off, lifted our 9ee1cc39ab hands high. The whispering only 48600739c8 grew louder.89eac5b35038e268

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“Everyone’s watching…”c9bd6357f8232e65

I whispered near 239dd061e7 his ear, bending 4f6adc28f6 slightly. Evan brought our clasped f42b89acd4 hands up to his 2602282858 lips. Something soft 5eb5f9a460 and moist c585159a3d touched the e32166a3e4 back of f9077c0d97 my hand be5562282b between our 90b26ffda2 interlaced fingers.c67b467a8ace9c23

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“So what if they watch? You said this much is normal between friends, didn’t you?”90e52ddc46b3a5bd

Evan’s clear smile sent a chill down my spine. I could tell he was still upset about what I said yesterday. Turns out, Evan’s more petty than I thought.c73b47e555227c5a

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Living while holding 1ec5a51592 hands with someone 273cdee1f2 was more inconvenient bf3aa4cc6a than I imagined. Especially during meals.a0665bdf8445106d

I’m right-handed, and of course, Evan had my right hand locked in his. My fork kept missing the food. I couldn’t even take proper notes in class earlier, and now I couldn’t even eat—frustrated didn’t even begin to cover it. I didn’t have the nerve to glare at Evan, so I stared angrily at our joined hands instead.960f2cdf0e62300c

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There were already 7294dedf62 a few meatballs 0fbcc555b2 rolling on the b401f141a0 floor. I was miserably bent 6fec91e708 over, barely managing to db02600f2e nibble what little I cc8c244be4 could, when—9e06b6b311fc5a43

“What will we do if you keep spilling like this?”60cf17231683f5d5

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Though his tone suggested concern, Evan’s face showed no trace of actual regret. With an elegant gesture, he picked up food from the plate.a2b9a1814fbdef32

“Here, say ah—”704c7f7557e3ccbf

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I didn’t understand at first and just sat there blankly, until his delicate hand tapped at my lips.044e0d10a34d62aa

“Open up, Hyle.”87398eb7e5d524e8

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This kind of thing—wasn’t this what newlywed couples did in cheesy dramas? My fork, already loosely held, clattered to the floor. When I hesitated, Evan smiled even more sweetly. Behind him, I could practically see lilies blooming in a radiant fantasy.530d7f63caeed7f1

“Do you want me to feed you that badly?”0758751c545ed09b

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He whispered in my 05fe1df102 ear, but since Carmen ad04037de2 was sitting right next 22fe7f4a30 to us, I tried 1c83724740 my best to look 77980ffdfb unfazed. My face, however, was 54a0281db2 turning red uncontrollably. To make 017ee091cd things worse, 0021cb875b Evan pressed 1981abcef9 his thumb 791bb346dd against my bea4926a81 upper lip.30113444becb604a

His finger 994c524c15 pried between 1ee27f1197 my lips 0741c4ff61 and pushed 3ea48ca79e down on 7231f0f5fc my jaw adbecdaf21 roughly, forcing f008a5a033 my mouth 93680b555b open wide. The thing 4afe566b83 that had ccdfdc5c16 been teasing 24a052c0d1 my tongue 0de7d56050 vanished, replaced cc9d5dc6cd with a c207337f6e round, warm 504f5e018f meatball.58fd3db755d27fc7

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This seemed beyond even what dating couples would do. No matter how much I protested, Evan just kept using the excuse, “But Hyle said it was fine,” bringing up the whole friendship label again and again. Though his finger disappeared from my mouth, I still couldn’t bring myself to chew. He gently pressed my mouth shut and coaxed me like a child.8c44aa966013547e

“You need to chew it properly.”8deccc9332d6e324

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Another fork dropped to 8c0d01f737 the floor. Carmen, sitting next 7121854497 to us, trying 9814103776 his best to c3a56c931d eat, had gone e63741f856 pale and finally 059b376451 managed to speak.8b9e05558e988dee

“…I should’ve just eaten with my damn roommate instead of you two.”40a7203c192b1acd

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What is this, a lovey-dovey drama? I feel like I’m from a different planet. Carmen muttered in regret, 80691baf91 wearing a face full 6ab13e049f of misery. A wave 5e88ab86e1 of guilt 48c15419eb began to dfa93a802d creep over 046e529d9a me.7010d68ec51b1170

In the end, I held hands with Evan all day long. My brain was fried. For the first time in my life, I seriously considered just passing out. I couldn’t wait to get back to the dorm. Just walking through the halls, or even sitting still in the lecture hall, the stares from people around us were brutal.423d8a1c105f39e8

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Who knew holding hands could be this mentally exhausting? I just wanted to run to my bed, but since Evan wouldn’t let go, I was stuck by his side, helpless, when—00664635df907e5e

“Today was really fun, wasn’t it?”9f0fac467623b896

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Not fun at all. It was uncomfortable, embarrassing… and sometimes a little exciting.2c27a34cb247d8e9

I stared at Evan with a sullen face, and he chuckled softly. Feeling like I’d been toyed with all day, I shook off our hands. I hadn’t used that much force, but after holding hands for so long, they came apart easily.ca1a04ca79966dab

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“Let’s hold hands again tomorrow, Hyle.”7671bf3da342bf21

Evan said this as he gently caressed the hand that had just let go, smiling radiantly. I shook my head in horror, but it didn’t seem like Evan was planning to give up anytime soon.76dfa892c73b24f7

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