AES Ch2.3

He couldn’t share the detailed news for fear his manager would be saddened. Later, he only told the doctor honestly. The doctor, wrapping up the session, said:

“It’s the first time Sihyeon has talked about friends. That’s a good thing.”

“Is it?”

“Later on, you’ll be doing ordinary love consultations. Don’t you think so?”

At that, Sihyeon let out a small chuckle.

“Oh, no way that’s ever going to happen.”

The doctor didn’t confirm or deny this. While scribbling something on paper, he said:

“Do you know actress Min Hyejin, Sihyeon? I saw her in a drama recently, and she acted really well.”

“I’ve heard of her.”

“You heard about her story, right? Her family all passed away in an accident right before she went for a college interview. But she overcame it bravely and became a great actress. I think Sihyeon could be like that too.”

Sihyeon gave an awkward smile and said:

“I don’t think I could be such an incredible person… It’s amazing to me that someone would make all that past public. I could never do that.”

“Ha ha, I’m not saying you should publicize it. I’m saying you can overcome it. Well, some people are genetically prone to depression. For those people, medication helps if taken consistently. But from what I see, Sihyeon isn’t like that, and you need other means too. That’s why I’m doing these extended sessions. I usually don’t do them this long.”

“Ah… thank you.”

“In a year, five years from now, things will get better little by little.”

Sihyeon didn’t believe in the future. He just mechanically said, “Yes.” The doctor seemed to notice but only smiled.

“I still remember what you said when you first came here. You couldn’t imagine your future five or ten years from now. But how about now? Can’t you imagine at least five years ahead, even if not ten?”

“Well…”

“You can. What do you think Ryu Sihyeon will be like at twenty-six?”

Twenty-six… isn’t that too far in the future? After thinking for a long time, Sihyeon answered:

“If I’m alive… I might still be acting.”

The doctor looked satisfied and said, “That’s good.”

“By then, Sihyeon might also be starring in dramas like Min Hyejin. I’m really looking forward to Sihyeon’s future.”

Sihyeon blinked but said nothing. However, the doctor spoke with conviction:

“You will be like that one day.”

✦✦✦

Five years is a long time. During that time, his manager Cheol-joo bought a house with a loan, got promoted to manager, and got a girlfriend.

At twenty-six, Sihyeon was confirmed as the lead in his first drama, titled <Thirst>. It was said to be a collaboration between a renowned director and a young, famous writer.

On the day of the first meeting, Cheol-joo arrived in a van. Sihyeon was used to riding in smaller cars, so he was a bit surprised by the size of the van.

“Is it okay for me to ride in this?”

“It’s fine. These days, if the lead actor doesn’t ride something like this, it’s a loss of face. Jeonghoon can take the Carnival.”

“I don’t mind losing face.”

“Oh, I can’t let that happen.”

“Yoonhyung said this isn’t fuel-efficient.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll use it just to make a strong impression today.”

Sihyeon’s company hadn’t grown much since he joined, and maintaining such a large van was a burden. Most of the revenue was brought in by Sihyeon.

As Sihyeon got into the van, he thought, hoping the maintenance costs would be deducted from his settlements… It was the company that needed the money, not Ryu Sihyeon.

The CEO was also in the van. Seeing him come along to the meeting indicated how much they expected from this project. He smiled broadly at Sihyeon and said:

“You need to impress the director and the writer.”

“Yes.”

“Who else is cast besides our Sihyeon?”

He asked Cheol-joo, who responded with a grin:

“Min Hyejin is confirmed.”

“Wow.”

“Seo Heetae is under discussion.”

At this, the CEO clapped his hands in delight.

“Seo Heetae? Wow, this is huge. Have you ever met Seo Heetae?”

“Probably not.”

“Think about it, Sihyeon’s name comes before even the great Seo Heetae. Isn’t that something?”

Cheol-joo, who was driving, answered cheerfully:

“Seo Heetae doesn’t care about that. That’s what the writer said.”

“Really? He sounds like a good person, just like the rumors.”

Sihyeon had heard many good things about Seo Heetae. He was the first actor to visit the memorial of a deceased staff member on set, was voted as the most wanted co-star by Chungmuro staff, and donated billions every year… These were stories you hear often in this industry. It was surprising how he managed to maintain such a perfect image.

The biggest twist to that image was last year’s movie <Deceiver>. Sihyeon had gone to see it with his friend Jinoh. Seo Heetae played a private detective who turned out to be a psychopathic killer. His overwhelming height and chiseled features were eerie.

After watching the movie, Jinoh said there’s a saying in famous screenwriting books that even villains should be cool. If he were to become a villain, he’d want to be like him. People like that kind of villain. Seo Heetae’s character, Kang Yoohan, was exactly that. Sihyeon kept thinking about it. Would he have lived better if he were born like that?

Maybe he could have even fought back against his uncle instead of being beaten or assaulted. Now he was taller and more muscular than back in high school, but back then, he wasn’t like he is now, so he just took it. But someone like Seo Heetae could have knocked his uncle out easily.

That bastard died just by getting hit by a car? That was too easy.

Seo Heetae’s gleaming eyes in the movie seemed to say that.

It would have been great if someone like him had killed him. Sihyeon had watched the movie imagining Kang Yoohan’s large hands killing his uncle. Was it wrong to think like that? He felt a slight pang of guilt, but that’s the kind of person Ryu Sihyeon was. Not quite good, not quite bad, just a weak human in between.

On the other hand, Seo Heetae was clearly in a different league.

Later, Sihyeon met Seo Heetae at an awards ceremony. He was exhausted, having just filmed a torture scene, both physically and mentally drained. Walking to his designated seat without much thought, he spotted Seo Heetae. He was so tall and imposing that he couldn’t help but stand out. Even while talking casually with other actors, the arrogant face from the movie flashed in Sihyeon’s mind. He cautiously greeted him and passed by, but Seo Heetae spoke first.

“I enjoyed your movie.”

The tall man looked down with a smile. For a senior to speak to an unknown junior like that… it felt good and strange at the same time. He seemed as kind as the rumors suggested. Seeing such gentlemanly behavior, it really hit home that he wasn’t the killer from the movie. He was just as they say, a good person.

Back then, I just thought that way.

“He’s not just an actor, Seo Heetae. You have to look really good.”

The CEO said seriously.

“Why?”

“This is quite a famous story; he has an incredible network.”

“I see. I didn’t know that.”

“Well, he’s known to be very gentle and nice, so there shouldn’t be any issues. But if any noise arises with him, it would be quite troublesome.”

“How can he have such a good network?”

“Who knows? There are lots of rumors. Some say he comes from a good family, or he had connections with GBN from the start. They say he spends money well.”

“There’s something with CinemaPick, right? Almost all the movies Seo Heetae has been in were distributed by CinemaPick.”

The driver chimed in.

CinemaPick was a subsidiary of a conglomerate that owned TBS, the largest film investment and distribution company in South Korea. Sihyeon was amazed by the scale beyond her expectations. Although she didn’t usually surf the internet much, she searched for Seo Heetae on her phone. His handsome face and a simple profile popped up right away. There was a piece of information that caught her eye immediately.

“Wow, 187 cm tall. That’s really tall.”

“They say that’s even reduced.”

Sihyeon laughed at the CEO’s comment.

“I added some.”

“The harsh reality, huh?”

“He graduated from K University’s Business School. What a life to envy.”

“Haha, if you had gone to K University’s Business School, would you have acted?”

“I wonder.”

Although she said that, if she had lived a normal life where she went to K University’s Business School, she probably wouldn’t have even thought about acting. The first reason for acting was livelihood, and the second was to live off others’ lives.

Why would someone with such a normal and good life want to borrow other people’s lives? It makes no sense.

Unlike Ryu Sihyeon, Seo Heetae was a person who looked cool even when he was just standing still. But with all the additional information, he seemed even more impressive. Let’s not stand out or make enemies… Sihyeon thought so.

“This industry is all about connections.”

The CEO muttered.

“Sihyeon, you’re doing well, but it would be nice if other kids could shine too. Look at guys like Jeonghoon. They’re so good. Even if they graduated from K University like Seo Heetae, their lives are so different, right?”

“That’s true.”

Jo Jeonghoon, a senior from the same company, was fun and good at acting, but he didn’t get many significant roles. Perhaps this was why the CEO was going to this meeting today. To give the company’s actors’ profiles and try to get more roles.

While Jeonghoon struggled for even one decent supporting role, Seo Heetae had an estimated network that was not just one or two. The world is truly unfair. Of course, it wasn’t anything new.

At the production company’s office, they met the writer. Since the casting was already confirmed, it was more like a formal meeting. The CEO chatted with the writer before the director arrived. “I’ve been raising Sihyeon since her debut,” the CEO began, his words endless.

“Juhee seems to be taking the role of Jang I-jin.”

That was what the new writer said. If the CEO boasted about his actors, the writer boasted about the casting.

“Ah, actress Yeo Juhee?”

Sihyeon, of course, knew Yeo Juhee. She was one of Korea’s top beauties. The first time Sihyeon saw her was at the premiere of “Life and Death.” She had come with CinemaPick’s Lee Jung-ho, the head of the department. After that day, they became somewhat friendly, occasionally having meals together or keeping in touch.

The mention of Yeo Juhee caused the senior next to her to get excited. The CEO, feigning calmness, asked,

“Is the role of Prosecutor Lee Joohwan… confirmed for actor Seo Heetae?”

“It’s almost confirmed.”

The word ‘almost’ made Sihyeon think it could fall through, but it seemed the CEO and the senior didn’t consider that possibility. Cheolju, seated next to her, grinned broadly and nudged her.

“Sihyeon, you like Seo Heetae, don’t you?”

“Ah, yes.”

Although she didn’t really think about it, she went along with it.

“Oh, Heetae would be thrilled to hear that.”

“Are you very close with actor Seo?”

In response to the senior’s question, the writer replied without hesitation.

“Heetae and I are childhood friends.”

“Wow, that close?”

The senior laughed and patted Sihyeon’s shoulder.

“Our Sihyeon is shy, so she needs senior actors to guide her. Please say good things about her to the seniors.”

“If Hyejin and Heetae are there, it’s fine. Hyejin is always reliable, and Heetae… well, he’s kind enough.”

There seemed to be some implication in ‘kind enough,’ but it didn’t seem like anyone but Sihyeon noticed. Everyone was laughing, excited about the casting, thinking it would be a hit.

While the CEO and senior handed out the actors’ profiles, Sihyeon stepped outside for a smoke. The senior soon joined her.

“This feels good.”

He said with a broad smile.

“I heard they’ve talked with big seniors like Na Seonyoung and Joo Yongjin.”

“Really?”

The senior emphasized it, patting Sihyeon’s shoulder.

“Sihyeon, I’m getting more ambitious? Yoonhyung is good, but it would be great if you had some close senior friends too. This lineup of seniors is just amazing, right?”

Sihyeon just laughed. For her, networking was close to zero value. Even if you managed it hard, it was fleeting. Life is short anyway, and at her funeral, even if lots of people came and left condolence money, there wouldn’t be family to take it, and friends would refuse it if offered. So, she didn’t have many close juniors or seniors, just maintaining decent relations, just enough not to be hated.

“The writer said she’ll talk to Seo Heetae about you. They say Seo Heetae is the type to take good care of those around him. He’ll look after you well, they said.”

The senior seemed to believe the writer’s words wholeheartedly, but Sihyeon inhaled both the cigarette smoke and a bit of doubt. Would he? That kind? Why would someone like that be so kind?

The light smoke dispersed from her lips. Suddenly, she remembered the handsome face from the awards ceremony, the voice that spoke to her gently. Maybe… given his reputation for good deeds and greeting even unknown juniors warmly, it could be so.

The first reading was in the fall.

Readings were always tough. Even if you prepared, it was no use. When you see other actors moving and living beside you, all the preparation you did alone seems to vanish, and your mind goes blank. So, during readings, the focus was on vividly capturing in your mind how the other characters looked, sounded, and moved.

Entering the large conference room on the 12th floor of TBS, Sihyeon greeted the impressive writer and senior actors. Then she noticed her name, ‘Ryu Sihyeon,’ placed near the director’s seat. Only then did she truly realize she was the lead in this drama.

Sitting down, Sihyeon looked down, enjoying the ambient noise around her, which slowly eased her tension. As she took out the script, she noticed the hand of the person next to her. It was the hand she’d seen in movies – large, elegant, with long fingers. A hand where the bones were neatly defined, stained with blood. Somehow, her eyes lingered on Seo Heetae’s hand for a moment.

Finally, he looked around at the people flipping through their scripts and talking to each other. Next to Min Hyejin, who was thoroughly reading her script, and right in front of him, was Yeo Juhee. She was looking forward, but not at him. Her gaze was slightly averted, looking beside herself. It was clear her gaze was fixed on Seo Heetae. Just as he realized this, he felt a gaze from the side. It felt like Seo Heetae was watching him. How long had he been looking?

Just as he was about to turn his head to meet Seo Heetae’s gaze, he heard Juhee’s voice calling, “Seo Heetae.”

“Yes.”

“Why are you staring so hard?”

Juhee asked with a bright smile, to which Seo Heetae replied, also smiling nonchalantly.

“What do you mean?”

It seemed they were close.

He had given up on the first read-through from the beginning. The character Jang Yicheon, whom he was to play, was still unfamiliar. Without a complete immersion, he felt awkward and couldn’t focus. So, he was blankly watching the other actors’ performances. That’s how he got a feel for it. It was always like this.

“Why did Gi bribe Congressman Kang Jiwon?”

Just like now, he heard a low voice beside him. It was Prosecutor Lee Juhwan’s voice. He looked at Juhwan, with his chiseled profile giving a solemn impression, and realized he was Jang Yicheon’s greatest rival.

“Obviously, Gi has something fishy.”

Across from him was Prosecutor Han Saeyoung. He examined her. She appeared more rigid and persistent than he had imagined while reading the script, but she also had a somewhat crafty side.

“So why Kang Jiwon?”

And then, with the next line, he locked eyes with Lee Juhwan. Instead of wondering why he was being looked at, another thought arose.

“I don’t know. I was chasing Gi’s Jang Yijin, but it wasn’t Jang Yijin who caused this.”

A thought so captivating that he couldn’t hear Han Saeyoung’s voice. This is the essence of Lee Juhwan.

“If it’s not Jang Yijin, then who? Could it be Gi’s illegitimate son, Jang Yicheon?”

Lee Juhwan, sitting before him, opened his mouth. The corners of his lips slowly rose. He instinctively knew: this was a sneer directed at Jang Yicheon.

“Does he even have the capability for that?”

Here he was, the very Lee Juhwan who despised him, pursued him, and would ultimately imprison him, mocking him right in front of him…

Somewhere within, Jang Yicheon’s senses began to sprout.

“You are nothing.”

It was the end of the second episode read-through. Everyone around was Jang Yicheon’s enemy. The pinnacle of that feeling came from his mother’s mouth.

Nothing. If that was the truth, it was the only commonality between Jang Yicheon and Ryu Sihyeon.

But Jang Yicheon is not Ryu Sihyeon. Jang Yicheon dreams of revenge against the parents who treated him with cold disdain and contempt. He had carefully laid out his plans to achieve his ambitions. He would never submit again. The meaning of a single line in the script was just that. He instinctively understood the subtext.

Jang Yicheon had endured a long period, waiting for this moment. The time to end his endurance had come. The moment to bring down Chairman Yu had arrived. He had himself, and he had his determination.

“Why the hell are you doing this to me?”

Instinctively, he looked at his mother. And then he immediately realized his mistake.

It felt like all the strength drained from his body. There was a silence that felt like fear all around.

He had lost it. Even if it was acting, he had cursed at a senior actor with a line not in the script. Not to mention, he had altered the writer’s script arbitrarily. His hands trembled. He remembered a similar mistake he had made long ago and being reprimanded by a senior actor. “Don’t overdo it, do you think you’re something?” they had said.

How had it ended back then…

Why do people repeat the same mistakes? He silently exhaled, drenched in fear, but thankfully the writer spoke up and saved him.

“Actor, you know ‘that word’ won’t pass the censors, right?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I was just very nervous…”

He deliberately smiled shyly. Pretending to be innocent, as if it were just a simple mistake. He had learned to get by in life like that. People were less guarded with a kind-looking face. So, pretending to be kind and smiling allowed for a few mistakes to be overlooked.

Living as an actor, he had used people’s tendencies and his own face to his advantage. This time, fortunately, the result was similar to usual. People laughed and treated it as a funny incident. He tried to smile and move on like everyone else. But,

The person right next to him made no sound. Only Seo Heetae didn’t laugh. Realizing this, he froze.

Did he think I overdid it? Maybe, just as Lee Juhwan despised Jang Yicheon, Seo Heetae also disliked Ryu Sihyeon. The sharp look Lee Juhwan had given him flashed back, making it feel like a plausible theory. He couldn’t bear to look beside him, fearing that Seo Heetae genuinely disliked him.

The sensation in his right ear became sharp. It was the side Seo Heetae sat on. The still air seemed to brush his ear. He recognized this state. Silence. Even now, silence scared him the most.

So,

One,

Two,

Three, and again four. Counting the passing time, he hoped Seo Heetae would say something, even just smile a little. But nothing special happened. Soon he felt lost about what to do, but he gathered his courage. Just as he was about to glance at the person beside him, Seo Heetae stood up and walked away.

He had heard that Seo Heetae was a good person, and he seemed to be. But today, he seemed different from the person he had seen at the awards ceremony. He didn’t smile as he had back then, and his gaze felt different too.

…What if he has come to dislike me?

It was terrifying to have someone in the same space harboring hostility. So it was impossible not to care.

He worried if his mistake had been too fatal. But then again, Seo Heetae hadn’t been very friendly when they first greeted each other today. He had simply nodded and stared silently.

He remembered his boss’s advice to avoid any friction with Seo Heetae. Having heard only good things about him, he never imagined something like this would happen. He thought they could just get along. Now what?

He noticed Seo Heetae, with his model-like height, walking to the corner tea table. Even though he himself was above average height, standing next to Seo Heetae, he felt small. People were relative, after all. Just like how a delinquent like Jo Yuseong’s life seemed better than Ryu Seongwoo’s.

He quickly got up and approached Seo Heetae. Standing beside him, he awkwardly picked up a snack, pondering how to start a conversation. Even performing a simple action like this made him nervous. The cheerful chatter of others echoed in his ears.

As he mechanically reached for the last snack, a firm hand grabbed it first. Without realizing, he looked up at the owner of the hand.

He met Seo Heetae’s gaze. It felt like he was examining him closely.

Up close, Seo Heetae was indeed tall. Probably over 190 cm. Despite wearing casual clothes, there was an aura of authority, making anyone want to bow before him.

“Have it.”

Seo Heetae handed the snack to him nonchalantly. There was none of the warm smile he had shown at the awards ceremony. “Thank you” was all he could say. He wished he had smiled brighter, but he was too nervous. Seo Heetae soon turned away, leaving him with the single snack in his hand.

He felt strangely.

As he followed Seo Heetae into an empty room with an employee’s guidance, that strange feeling persisted. It was a sense of helplessness. It wasn’t a new feeling, just one he hadn’t felt in a while. The reason for this feeling now was… because the difference between him and Seo Heetae hit him.

Someone who was superior in every way, who didn’t need to be mindful of others, and whom the word “perfect” suited. When such a person gave him a single snack, he briefly wondered, “Does he not hate me?” It felt pathetic to cling to such a small hope.

Ryu Sihyeon thought he would look small standing next to such a person. However, that thought itself is an insult to Jang Yicheon. He is someone who never wants to appear weak. Thus, he is excellent at defending himself and instinctively recognizes disdainful glances.

He saw such a glance during the reading earlier—Lee Juhwan’s glance. It might have been a glance carrying Seo Heetae’s true feelings too.

Jang Yicheon had grown up receiving such glances from his parents every day, every moment. Unlike Ryu Sihyeon, he does not succumb to it. At least Jang Yicheon is a person with pride. Jang Yicheon’s instincts tell him not to submit, not to feel miserable.

He followed the staff’s instructions and filmed a simple video greeting for the viewers. He stood right next to Seo Heetae, but at that moment, he wasn’t that nervous. Just for today, he tried to be Jang Yicheon. At least, until that point.

After the filming ended, Seo Heetae looked at him again. For some reason, he kept looking at him. It didn’t seem like he was looking because he liked him, as Seo Heetae mumbled as he left the room.

“You act so well, huh.”

It was certainly directed at him. Sihyeon stared blankly at Seo Heetae’s retreating figure.

Meeting Shin, the writer, at the end of the hallway, his lips curled into a smile. Sihyeon captured even that image. That smile seemed to be the basic face he showed to others. It seemed that Ryu Sihyeon was excluded from those ‘others.’

✦✦✦

After the reading, they went to a Chinese restaurant with the president and manager Cheolju. Needless to say, the president was very interested in <Thirst>.

“Did you do well in the reading?”

The president asked, and Sihyeon turned his gaze to the Dongpo pork and answered.

“I did alright.”

In truth, he performed terribly…. Luckily, his manager didn’t say much. Instead of testifying how poorly Sihyeon did, he brought up another topic.

“Hey, Sihyeon. Min Hyejin is really pretty, isn’t she? It’s my first time seeing her in person.”

“Yes, she is.”

“My brother-in-law is a fan; I’ll have to brag about it later. My brother-in-law said that Min Hyejin was the top student in the K University Film Department. Yeo Juhee was the second. They were rivals, it seems. I think this casting is intentional. I’ll bet a hamburger they’ll use this for promotion later.”

“Ha ha.”

The president, who was listening with interest, asked.

“Sihyeon, is it Min Hyejin or Yeo Juhee for you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Who’s more your type?”

Such questions were always awkward to hear. He had never really thought about it.

“Well… I’m not sure.”

“Cheolju, don’t you think Sihyeon should have a relationship at least once? At this point, even if there’s a dating rumor, it won’t affect him much.”

Cheolju waved his hand and answered.

“Nah, Sihyeon isn’t interested. Besides, Sihyeon is too innocent, so he might suffer if he dates the wrong person. Make sure you get approval from your manager before dating anyone.”

“Ah, yes.”

However, the president’s curiosity did not stop there. He asked Sihyeon again out of curiosity.

“Since you don’t talk about women, I can’t tell. You don’t like men, do you?”

“Ha ha, that’s not it.”

He answered with an awkward laugh. If you don’t talk about women or your ideal type, you’re treated as weird. Sihyeon didn’t agree with such social standards, but he was aware of them.

“Then tell me about your ideal type. I need to know so I can introduce someone later. Between Yeo Juhee and Min Hyejin, who do you prefer?”

“Well… Yeo Juhee sunbaenim? She looks like my first love.”

“Wow, your first love must have been really pretty.”

“Yes. I suppose.”

“Sihyeon, don’t talk about that in front of Seo Heetae.”

Suddenly, his manager said. It was certainly meant as a joke, but… hearing Seo Heetae’s name made him tense.

“Why, why?”

“Didn’t you know? There was a scandal between Seo Heetae and Yeo Juhee. It was really hot back then, and the paparazzi photos looked like a photoshoot.”

“Didn’t you know? There was a scandal between Seo Heetae and Yeo Juhee. It was really hot back then, and the paparazzi photos looked like they were straight out of a photoshoot.”

He searched ‘Seo Heetae Yeo Juhee’ on the internet and showed it to Sihyeon. With just those two names, paparazzi photos appeared at the top of the screen. There were several pictures of them dining together at a brunch café and chatting while holding take-out coffee. The scene looked so much like a staged photoshoot that it was hard to look away. Seo Heetae’s relaxed expression made him seem like someone who had everything.

Seo Heetae’s silent presence reminded Sihyeon of him. Why doesn’t he smile at me like that? He seemed so friendly before. Seo Heetae’s silence and the way he looked at him kept lingering in Sihyeon’s mind.

“But, hyung, what if that senior hates me?”

“Seo Heetae?”

“Yes.”

“Why would he hate you?”

The CEO burst into laughter at Sihyeon’s worried question.

“I mean, just in case.”

“They say he’s got a good personality. Our Sihyeon is handsome, acts well, is kind, and polite. Who would hate you?”

But the CEO added one more line with a suddenly serious expression.

“…But it’s still good to make a good impression.”

“Ah.”

“Sihyeon, now that you’re starring in a leading drama, who would dare to say anything? As long as the ratings are good, you don’t have to worry about that.”

Hyung tried to comfort Sihyeon. Sihyeon looked at him and murmured softly.

“Ratings… they’ll be good, right?”

“Probably…”

Why does he always add ambiguous words at the end? It made Sihyeon even more uneasy, not knowing whether to worry or not. He absentmindedly reached for the sweet and sour pork with his chopsticks,

“Sihyeon.”

The CEO called him.

“Yes?”

“Don’t eat fried food. You have to take care of your body now that you’re starting a new project.”

The chopsticks halted in mid-air. As he blinked, the CEO burst into laughter.

“Alright, just one or two. I always give in so easily, it’s a problem.”

The CEO then emphatically asked Hyung, “I can’t do it, so you take good care of him.”

Sihyeon had plans to meet friends that evening, so the car stopped at the meeting place. Before getting out, he carefully asked Hyung,

“Hyung, can I drink a little?”

Hyung looked at him with a stern expression. It wasn’t that scary, but… he would be sad if he couldn’t drink. Alcohol and cigarettes were big comforts in life. Feeling a bit down, Sihyeon looked at Hyung in silence. Finally, Hyung sighed and said,

“Doesn’t Yoonhyung take care of himself?”

“Yoonhyung eats whatever he wants now that his movie is over.”

“Then, you drink just a little.”

“Yes.”

A slight smile appeared. Hyung then said, “Smile more often.” Though he laughed a lot in front of others, Hyung seemed not to be satisfied. Probably never could be.

“Ask if the drama will do well.”

As Sihyeon got out of the car, Hyung kept talking.

“And ask what kind of girl would suit you.”

“Didn’t you say not to date anyone earlier?”

“Hey, when did I say that? I meant you should meet someone good.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Sihyeon replied with a deliberately brighter smile and got out of the car. But he had no intention of actually asking those things. It wasn’t likely he could meet such a person anyway.

The meeting place was a famous fortune teller’s office. The office wasn’t very big, so it felt full with three men inside. Sihyeon carefully observed the bearded fortune teller writing something on a piece of paper.

After finishing Sihyeon’s fortune, the fortune teller finally spoke.

“Your teenage years were very bad.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Quite severely bad. This fortune indicates early loss of parents.”

Sihyeon straightened his posture and moved closer to the fortune teller.

“I’ve heard that before.”

If he had known earlier, he could have prepared his mind. Thinking that his parents were destined to leave early made him feel slightly better.

“But from your twenties, things will go very well. No need to worry.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. Especially from the mid-twenties, it gets very good. Your career fortune, reputation, everything is good. You’ve won some awards, right?”

“Wow, yes.”

When Yoonhyung laughed incredulously, Jinoh lightly nudged him. Jinoh didn’t exactly believe in fortune-telling but found it interesting. He asked on Sihyeon’s behalf,

“Sihyeon is entering a drama. Will it do well?”

“Hmm, maybe not a huge hit, but it will do reasonably well. Things will go smoothly for you.”

However, such words made Sihyeon more anxious. It wasn’t that he blindly believed in fortune-telling. He was only interested in negative forecasts.

“Will there be no major issues this year and next?”

There was always one purpose. To know about bad things in advance and prepare mentally.

“There might be some minor hurdles.”

The fortune teller stared at the paper filled with unreadable characters and said,

“…But it won’t be anything serious. This year might have some issues, but… there’s one major thing next year. You need to be careful about that.”

“Next year?”

“Around May. Everything will be good after that.”

He continued speaking,

“Don’t take any flights during the first half of next year. Don’t go abroad.”

“Ah, okay.”

“When is it best for Sihyeon to get married?”

Suddenly, Jinoh asked an unexpected question.

“The sooner, the better according to his fortune. But, he has no luck in love.”

“There are many women who like him.”

Yoonhyung responded curtly.

“But there’s no woman in his fortune. Especially this year, it’s really bad. It will only get better the year after next…”

“I don’t care about love.”

Sihyeon carefully opened his mouth.

“Is there anything I should be careful about during this shoot? Like issues in human relationships…”

“You should always be cautious with people. Don’t act arrogantly.”

“Yes.”

“And your health is the concern. Take care of your health. Besides that, everything will go well. Especially your liver, according to your fortune.”

“Ah, my liver…”

He glanced at his friends. Should he avoid drinking? His resolve to have a drink today wavered.

…But he couldn’t resist the temptation of alcohol. As planned, Sihyeon sat in a room at Jinoh’s favorite bar in Sangam.

“That guy can’t say anything but bad luck in love.”

Yoonhyung, who had heard the same thing during a fortune-telling session, grumbled. He poured a drink for Sihyeon and said,

“It’s funny to tell someone in their twenties to worry about their liver.”

“Ah, is it?”

If so, there would be no need to worry about his liver in this life. One less worry.

“Yoonhyung, you’re upset because of love talk.”

Jinoh teased, and Yoonhyung grumbled back,

“You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Lucky you, for being good at love.”

“What’s the problem this time?”

“…I can’t tell if the other person has feelings for me or not. How do you figure that out?”

“Don’t you just know?”

Yoonhyung looked at Jinoh with a doubtful gaze. As always, Sihyeon listened to their conversation while sipping his drink. It wasn’t quiet being with them because their conversation never ceased. It was comfortable.

“In my recent case, what was it? Someone suddenly said they weren’t feeling well. They handed me their hand and asked me to press an acupressure point. Said they’d feel better right away. Since we had to get back to filming quickly, I did as asked.”

“Then?”

“And then it hit me. This person was trying to pull something. Their face showed they weren’t in pain at all.”

“How do they come up with such excuses? That’s a high-level move.”

“Haha, is it? But Sihyeon must find this boring.”

Jinoh showed the problematic acupressure point on his palm to Sihyeon and said,

“No, I’m listening.”

“Your eyes are closing.”

He heard the laughter of his friends. In truth, Sihyeon had little interest in love talk. It had too little to do with him. While it seemed there were many fans and people who liked him… they only liked the image of actor Ryu Sihyeon. He was grateful to them, but it didn’t evoke enough affection to attach the word ‘like.’ If they knew the real Ryu Sihyeon, they wouldn’t like him as they used to.

“You know I’ll wake up soon, anyway…”

They exchanged drinks and had another round. Yoonhyung mixed beer and soju and said,

“That guy told you to be careful about people. I think it’s all a scam. It’s obvious you need to be cautious of people everywhere, don’t you think?”

“That’s true.”

Sihyeon answered with sleepy eyes. The beer-soju mix Yoonhyung made was quite good.

“All that talk about planes was just to make you anxious. No one will think badly of you. Remember the good parts and let the rest go.”

“Is that so?”

His friend’s words reassured him. If that’s the case, there was no need to worry. Most of the people from this project wouldn’t be seen again after it ended…

Ah, but there was one person he had to make a good impression on.

“I think there’s someone who dislikes me.”

Sihyeon murmured. Both Jinoh and Yoonhyung looked at him simultaneously.

“…Who?”

“Senior Seo Heetae.”

“Why?”

At Yoonhyung’s question, Sihyeon thought for a moment and answered,

“Maybe because I didn’t do well in the reading.”

“It’s okay. Just do well during the shoot. Don’t worry so early.”

Jinoh’s comforting words put Sihyeon more at ease. Sihyeon’s drowsy body collapsed onto the table. The cool marble surface felt nice against his cheek.

“Right?”

His eyes gradually closed. From beside him, he faintly heard Yoonhyung saying, “Who is so difficult?” As Sihyeon closed his eyes, he murmured,

“In fact, he was really kind when I first met him…”

✦✦✦

Though the only thing he knew how to do was act, he learned many things while living in this world. One thing he particularly worked hard on was living inconspicuously and blending in naturally. His goal was to get along without being disliked.

Still, there had been minor issues. He never told anyone, but there had been a conflict once. Yet it wasn’t an insurmountable obstacle. Compared to what his uncle went through, it was nothing. And as the years went by, people became kinder to him.

So this project should be okay too, right? At the launch party of <Thirst>, Sihyeon thought so. The cinematographer he already knew, and Yeo Juhee were kind from the beginning. Even people like Park Yeeun, whom he got to know during the production, treated him well.

“Honestly, I was a bit disappointed at first. I had high expectations.”

Min Hyejin said this while smoking with Sihyeon outside the restaurant. Amidst the cloudy night sky and cool air, cigarette smoke drifted by.

“I’m sorry. I was too nervous then. I’ll work harder.”

When Sihyeon answered with a smile, Min Hyejin gave him various pieces of advice. All of them were sincere.

Some people criticized Min Hyejin for using her past to promote herself sentimentally. But regardless of that, she didn’t care. How could she be so bold?

In a way, writer Shin’s words were somewhat accurate. As he said, Min Hyejin was reliable and a good senior. After smoking, she even got a cocoa from the vending machine for him. The old vending machine under the tiled roof didn’t match the surroundings well, but it had its own charm.

“Oh, is that Heetae?”

Min Hyejin’s voice made him turn his head. Seo Heetae was coming out of the restaurant. Although Sihyeon had briefly sat at the same table with Seo Heetae today, he didn’t exchange a word with him because he soon moved to writer Shin’s table.

“What are you doing?”

Seo Heetae asked. The sound of gravel crunching grew closer as he walked toward them. Unconsciously, Sihyeon tightly gripped the paper cup of cocoa.

“Just giving some advice as a senior. Trying not to sound too much like a bossy elder.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Don’t you have anything to say to Sihyeon?”

“Not really.”

After thinking for a moment, he told Min Hyejin,

“Juhee was looking for you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Just go and see her.”

After chatting for a bit, Min Hyejin bid goodbye and went back into the BBQ restaurant. It seemed that Seo Heetae was close with Min Hyejin too. Why does it feel like everyone is close except me? He wondered, remembering what his brother said. Yeo Juhee and Min Hyejin were classmates at K University, and Seo Heetae also graduated from K University. Perhaps it was due to connections in the entertainment industry.

Sihyeon feigned a slight smile and gauged Seo Heetae’s reaction.

“Would you like some cocoa, senior?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay…”

It was a cold rejection. It’s true, cocoa or vending machine coffee didn’t suit him. It wasn’t because he disliked me, I decided to think. Briefly making eye contact with Seo Heetae, Sihyeon smiled again. It was a habitual smile. Seo Heetae looked at him and asked,

“Do you like cocoa?”

“Uh, just so-so.”

Then he fell silent. The joy he felt when Seo Heetae first spoke to him faded. As the surrounding silence made him more nervous, a raindrop suddenly fell on his nose. Seo Heetae’s gaze lingered on the raindrop that landed on Sihyeon’s nose. When Sihyeon looked up at him, he abruptly spoke.

“Let’s move under the roof.”

“Oh, okay.”

Sihyeon awkwardly moved under the tiled roof and stood beside Seo Heetae. He didn’t smile at him. He seemed to have something to say, but also looked displeased. Did I do something wrong again today? No, I swear I didn’t make any mistakes today. I diligently grilled meat and poured drinks. That’s all.

Suddenly, it started pouring. Watching the rain from under the eaves was quite picturesque. The sound of rain was pleasant too. It was amazing to listen to the rain and watch the scene together with Seo Heetae. It seemed to diffuse the stiff atmosphere between them, creating a strange feeling.

…Why isn’t he leaving? He seemed to be heading home. As he wondered,

“Sorry. Did you wait?”

An all-too-familiar voice came from the restaurant door. It was writer Shin. Just then, a large van approached. Writer Shin greeted brightly and headed towards the van with Seo Heetae under an umbrella. Seo Heetae only slightly nodded his head. Sheltering writer Shin with an umbrella, he looked like a gentleman from a painting.

Were childhood friends usually this close even if they were of the opposite sex? They almost looked like lovers.

✦✦✦

Apart from being a K University graduate, there wasn’t much information about Yeo Juhee’s past. She maintained a mysterious image and rarely gave interviews. The fact that no graduation photo of her surfaced even led to rumors that her face was entirely reconstructed. But Yeo Juhee didn’t pay attention to such rumors. She was the opposite of Min Hyejin, who had revealed her entire past.

From the beginning, Sihyeon’s agency aimed for him to be a mysterious actor like Yeo Juhee. They didn’t disclose more than necessary information about Sihyeon. Since Ryu Sihyeon had already succeeded from his debut, there wasn’t a need for another story. Sihyeon also didn’t have any particular story he wanted to reveal, so it wasn’t a problem. From his experience, the more honest he was, the more people left. So it was best to conceal as much as possible.

Other than that, there were almost no similarities between Yeo Juhee and Ryu Sihyeon. They were fundamentally different. First of all, Yeo Juhee was a free-spirited person. It was noticeable every time they met, even on the day of <Thirst>’s poster shoot. That day, he kept shooting with Yeo Juhee, and her informal manner made him feel comfortable. But while Yeo Juhee was doing her solo shoot, he had to stay with Seo Heetae and Min Hyejin.