AES Ch1.4

That was it. The conversation didn’t drag on. The setting was quickly finished, and they each moved to their positions. The same scene continued to be shot. There were no major issues, and there were hardly any NGs. Without delay, all the shots where Heetae appeared were completed.

The camera position changed, and the last shot was a solo of Jang Icheon left alone. Heetae didn’t go back to the waiting room but stayed behind Director Cha to watch the monitor. With the “Action” signal, Jang Icheon is seen looking towards where Lee Joohwan left. Did he watch Lee Joohwan’s back with that expression earlier? He was curious for no reason.

Why, he couldn’t take his eyes off Jang Icheon. He found himself scrutinizing every detail of that expression. The more he watched Jang Icheon maintaining his composure while not losing his vigilance, the stranger he felt. That feeling began to take shape.

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Jang Icheon looks at the red cocktail. He’s the one who has secretly acquired what he wanted through gambling and drugs. But recently, he learned that his information had leaked because of a broker. It’s not solid evidence, but it’s unsettling. So, he deliberately spread the information that he frequented this bar while mentioning Representative Kang Jiwon’s name. It was partly for a drink and partly for amusement, to catch anyone who might suspect him in advance.

In fact, Jang Icheon expected at most an undercover cop. If that were the case, it would have been just an amusing episode. Teasing one cop would have been easy.

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But the one Jang Icheon met was Lee Joohwan, who openly approached him. If Lee Joohwan recognizes evil, Jang Icheon recognizes his enemy. He senses that Lee Joohwan is no ordinary adversary. And he faces unexpected anxiety.

Here, Jang Icheon thinks. There’s a variable in the plan. A new design is needed.

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Soon, Jang Icheon receives a call from his confidant, Hajin-young, and gets the identity and information of the man he just met. The plan to eliminate Lee Joohwan is quickly formed. The deputy prosecutor, Lee Joohwan’s superior, is someone Jang Icheon can manipulate, so he can use him. Thus, Jang Icheon creates an escape route in advance and laughs wickedly. Such an expression appears instantly on his innocent-looking face.

Seeing that face, a small chuckle escaped Heetae’s lips. It wasn’t because he was happy. It was because he could now confront his feelings towards Ryu Sihyeon. Inferiority towards Ryu Sihyeon? No, beyond that,

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Twenty-six-year-old Seo Heetae could not have acted like that.

With the “Cut” and “OK” signal, Heetae greeted Director Cha and immediately returned to the waiting room.

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He didn’t know how Ryu Sihyeon started acting, but Seo Heetae’s start was nothing special.

When he was in high school, preparing for the film department, Chaeyeon begged him to appear once in front of the camera. He played the role of a broadcasting club senior that the main character had a crush on. It wasn’t a role with many lines or one that required exceptional acting skills. Chaeyeon even said, “You just need to stand there.”

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Back then, Heetae recited the lines mechanically and did what he was told. That wasn’t even acting; it was just mimicking acting. Still, Heetae found it interesting. The fact that he could do things he wouldn’t normally do under the guise of acting intrigued him.

He went to college for business due to family circumstances but kept doing something akin to acting because of Shin Chaeyeon, who majored in directing at the same university’s theater and film department. She would beg him to appear in her assignments. Then he became friends with Chaeyeon’s new friend, Jung Kiyeon, who also insisted that Seo Heetae was necessary for his assignments since they were helping each other with their projects.

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Up until then, it was just an amusing pastime. It was strange how his acting improved, as the acting majors he worked with would say. Kiyeon always said such things, but at that time, Heetae thought it was just flattery.

Before going to the military, Heetae ended up attending a drinking session where Chaeyeon and Kiyeon were present. There was a professor from the theater and film department who knew Heetae. He was the professor for the class where his friends would bring their assignments every week. It was clear that he recognized Heetae. While pouring Heetae a drink as he was about to go to the military, the professor said:

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“You have talent. It’s hard for a good-looking guy to act well, but you improved quickly.”

He had often heard he was good at whatever he did. People are generous with compliments, so such remarks were common, almost to the point of being boring.

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On the other hand, hearing ‘you have talent’ from someone like a professor was not easy. That was a compliment that wasn’t trivial. Being good at everything could mean not being outstandingly good at one thing, but if you’re going to be good at something similar, it’s better to do what you’re best at. After all, people should live according to their talents.

After being discharged, he chose acting as a double major on that professor’s recommendation. That was the real start of his acting career if one could call it that.

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But when he actually became an actor at twenty-four, it wasn’t as fun as he thought. The roles he got were almost all the same. Either roles where you just need to look good or typical protagonist roles. Even those got boring after a while.

Anyway, that was about as much as twenty-six-year-old Seo Heetae could do. People didn’t see anything beyond the handsome man in Seo Heetae. That was the difference between him and Ryu Sihyeon. Could the young Seo Heetae from back then suddenly have become a character actor? Seeing Ryu Sihyeon now, he realized that wouldn’t have been possible.

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Their talents were fundamentally different. He could sense that instinctively.

After changing his clothes, his manager had already prepared everything for departure. Hyeonghun, the manager, watched Heetae’s mood as he returned with the clothes to be returned to the stylist. Usually, Heetae didn’t show his feelings openly on set, but today, he couldn’t hide his fatigue. Hyeonghun seemed quite taken aback by this rare occurrence.

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“Brother, if you’re tired, how about some coffee…?”

“It’s fine.”

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“Then would you like to eat this?”

What Hyeonghun offered was the chocolate cookie Ryu Sihyeon had given him. It was quite ironic, but not a situation he particularly liked.

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“You eat that.”

His tone was colder than usual. He wanted to go home, so he let out a low sigh into the air, and his eyes met Ryu Sihyeon’s, who was holding clothes to change into. He approached with a smile.

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“Senior, I really enjoyed working with you today. I look forward to working with you again.”

“Okay.”

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He had nothing particular to say to Ryu Sihyeon. He didn’t feel like pretending to be polite as usual. After saying “Okay” without much thought, Heetae handed his clothes to Hyeonghun and left the spot. His footsteps echoing in the hallway sounded cowardly.

For some reason, he felt Ryu Sihyeon’s gaze on his back.

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🌸🍓🌸

Jung Kiyeon set the date to meet everyone on the day “Thirst” was off, but he unilaterally decided on the location – a wine bar in Mapo that he liked. In fact, Heetae didn’t particularly want to see Ryu Sihyeon or Director Choi, but because Jung Kiyeon insisted they should see friends during the break, he had no choice but to drive there.

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After parking and entering a quiet corner seat, he saw a familiar back sitting with Ryu Sihyeon. That back turned around to reveal a Cheshire Cat-like smile. He always smiled like that, but today, his face looked especially pleased. He liked Ryu Sihyeon.

 

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Here is the translation of the text from Korean to English:

“Did Heetae arrive?”

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“Yeah.”

Heetae sat next to Kiyeon and gave a light greeting to Ryu Sihyeon.

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“Today, it’s Malbec.”

At those words, Heetae looked at the bottle of wine in the wine cooler. They seemed to have already ordered and had a glass each.

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“It’s unusual for Jung Kiyeon to come earlier than the scheduled time.”

“I didn’t want to work. I came about a quarter of an hour early.”

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Heetae didn’t bother to talk to Ryu Sihyeon. In fact, he didn’t even make eye contact. He felt that if their eyes met, Ryu Sihyeon would strike up a conversation, and that would make his feelings towards Ryu Sihyeon even more complicated. It was a strange, indescribable feeling because he had never experienced it before, but if he had to express it… he felt trivial when compared to Ryu Sihyeon.

Experiencing it in reality was quite unpleasant. Since he had never met someone like this before, he was both astonished and clueless about how to handle it. Knowing it’s a problem he can’t solve immediately, he understood he should avoid it, but sitting at the same table like this was just amusing.

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The actor sitting across from him was one who truly acted without having to learn from any professor. There’s nothing as impressive as succeeding at such a young age with just one talent. That was what set Ryu Sihyeon apart from most amateurs. With just one outstanding trait, life would be both interesting and easy, much more so than Seo Heetae’s life, which was paved from the start with connections and money.

Heetae accepted the wine Kiyeon poured for him, acting nonchalant. Kiyeon laughed, saying they should finish it before Jeonghyun arrives, but Director Choi arrived soon after. Director Choi Jeonghyun, with his bright and cheerful appearance, seemed like he would get along well with Jung Kiyeon. He was described as lively and sociable. He greeted Heetae warmly and then sat next to Ryu Sihyeon, speaking as if they were long-lost family members. They seemed to be talking about common acquaintances for a while.

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After everyone had a glass of wine and the shared plates they ordered arrived, Director Choi brought up the topic of the script with Ryu Sihyeon.

“Sihyeon, you remember agreeing to star in my film, right? It was about five years ago, though.”

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“Has it been that long already? Time flies.”

“I might look like this, but my debut got good reviews. Right, bro?”

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“Of course. You went to Berlin, Berlin!”

With Kiyeon’s support, Heetae barely contained his laughter. Why was he making such a fuss when he didn’t even go to Berlin himself?

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Director Choi, who was preparing a new script, suddenly wore a nostalgic expression. Just as Heetae thought he was somewhat acting, an unexpected statement came out.

“The project I’m working on now, Changhyeok hyung was really looking forward to it.”

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The atmosphere grew heavy for a moment. As far as Heetae knew, Changhyeok was the director of Ryu Sihyeon’s debut film “Life and Death,” where Choi had worked as an assistant director. The mood turned somber because Changhyeok had passed away at a young age after finishing “Life and Death.”

As a result, Ryu Sihyeon couldn’t refuse Director Choi’s script. The atmosphere was set as if he had to honor the deceased’s wishes.

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While Ryu Sihyeon read Director Choi’s script, a world seemed to form just for the two of them. Choi watched Ryu Sihyeon’s expressions quietly while sipping wine, and Ryu Sihyeon read the script silently. Heetae found it rather comfortable and talked about movies with his friend beside him as usual. The topic was ‘Who is the greatest master among Del Toro, Cuarón, and Iñárritu?’

Kiyeon, possibly drunk, made the outrageous claim that “Del Toro is an overrated director.” Heetae didn’t think Del Toro was the best, but he couldn’t agree with that statement. So, he retorted, “The overrated director is Jung Kiyeon.” Then Kiyeon responded, “Right. I just make movies where Seo Heetae’s face does all the work.” Heetae was momentarily speechless.

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“I shouldn’t appear in any more Jung Kiyeon movies, then.”

“Why not?”

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“First, I want to work with directors who make proper films, and second, I want to do projects that need acting skills, not just my face.”

At that moment, Ryu Sihyeon’s voice came from across the table.

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“Director, I’m sorry. But queer films are a bit…”

That piqued Kiyeon’s interest, and his gaze turned to Ryu Sihyeon sitting opposite. Heetae couldn’t help but look over there, where he saw Director Choi’s shameless face right in front of him, unfazed by Ryu Sihyeon’s refusal.

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“Come on, actor, why not? This kind of film does really well at international film festivals.”

“There’s a bed scene too. My agency probably won’t allow it. They already don’t like indie films.”

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“You don’t need to worry about the bed scene. I don’t direct anything too vulgar. It’s all about the emotions.”

No more words of refusal came from him. Whether he was still considering or couldn’t refuse, Heetae couldn’t tell.

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Suddenly, he got curious about the script. From what he could see, Director Choi was a smart person. He knew how to manipulate people and what kind of films would get attention. He seemed less stubborn than Heetae thought for an auteur director, adept at compromising with reality.

This type of person was easier to understand. The claim that he had written the script with Ryu Sihyeon in mind from the start was likely a lie. Saying that it was a project Changhyeok was looking forward to was probably also an exaggeration. This person seemed more likely to embellish his words to make the best decision and change his initial plans.

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“Director Choi.”

Heetae called out with a smile, and Choi looked at him.

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“If Sihyeon doesn’t want to do it, I’d like to do it instead.”

At that, Kiyeon grabbed Heetae’s arm as expected.

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“Hey, Heetae, you should be in mine.”

“I haven’t signed the contract yet.”

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“What a cold bastard…”

“I thought you wouldn’t do it, senior. Considering your image and all.”

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Director Choi looked somewhat surprised. Well, that’s Seo Heetae’s image for you. Heetae asked with a smile.

“Do I look like I wouldn’t like men?”

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“You do seem like that. Like you’d only walk red carpets.”

“I see that too, but I have no prejudices about this. It’s just acting.”

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His prejudice against queer themes had already been broken by Shin Chaeyeon. Having a childhood friend who is part of the LGBT community changed Seo Heetae’s life. It broadened the boundaries of his common sense. As Director Choi mentioned, if Seo Heetae’s life were only on red carpets, having someone like Shin Chaeyeon around made him look beyond that carpet.

“Please don’t worry about it, Director. If there’s no role that fits my image, that’s just how it is.”

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If Seo Heetae were to star in a queer film, it would definitely be a hot topic. He thought Director Choi wouldn’t miss such an opportunity.

“If senior agrees to star, I would be very grateful. If you really do it, I could even rewrite this script.”

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Director Choi’s voice was somewhat excited, which was the expected reaction. It was amusing how Ryu Sihyeon had become irrelevant in the situation. Thus, the talk about Director Choi’s script was tucked away, but regardless of the outcome, he would be satisfied. He had gained Seo Heetae as a connection.

“Then I guess I’ll have to do my next project with Actor Ryu.”

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Kiyeon spoke with a displeased expression beside him.

“Do whatever you want.”

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Heetae said that, but he knew Kiyeon wouldn’t change his plans easily since he had already written the entire script. Feeling somewhat better, Heetae ordered another bottle of Pinot Noir, and Kiyeon’s expression softened significantly.

While tasting the newly ordered wine, Jung Kiyeon brought up various topics. Being talkative, he dominated most of the conversation at the table. Director Choi was next in line for conversation share. The two of them, being chatty, started to delve into topics only they knew about.

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“By the way, I heard Jeonghyun broke up with his boyfriend, but he seems fine.”

“Yeah, well. It wasn’t like I was really into him. He had a good body and was somewhat handsome.”

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“But?”

“First of all, it was annoying that he couldn’t eat good food because of his body management even during dates.”

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“What, was he an athlete?”

“He did fitness, even competed in some tournaments as a hobby. Sometimes used steroids too. That was the real problem. The side effects of steroids, you know, they don’t get it up easily. Sigh… it was frustrating when a guy who works out can’t perform at night.”

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“Oh, really?”

 

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“No, I was with him because of his body, but when I found out he couldn’t perform… it’s frustrating, you know? There’s such a thing as expectations. How important is it to be good at that? Even if you fight, after you sleep together, you think, ‘Oh, I should forgive him, he’s the best.‘ Sihyeon, remember this.”

“Okay.”

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Ryu Sihyeon smiles innocently even at the sudden remark, seemingly unaware that this could be considered sexual harassment. Heetae clicked his tongue internally at Ryu Sihyeon’s reaction. He couldn’t tell if it was naivety, stupidity, or if he actually liked such talks. Maybe it was all of them.

“Anyway, I got so frustrated during sex one time that I told him to choose between me or his gym.”

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“But, he chose the gym, right?”

“Yeah. Is his brain all muscle too?”

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Heetae responded coldly to that.

“Working out hard doesn’t turn brain fat into muscle.”

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The atmosphere sank instantly. Director Choi, momentarily flustered, gave an awkward laugh.

“Well, that’s true…”

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Kiyeon’s characteristic giggle followed up on Director Choi’s words.

“He’s offended. He doesn’t like this kind of talk, especially about sex, when he’s just met someone. He’s too refined.”

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“Oh, really?”

“Stop talking nonsense.”

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Heetae answered in a flat tone. If they were going to keep talking about unnecessary things, he’d rather go out for some fresh air. Just then, he got a call from his cousin, so Heetae ordered another bottle of wine and stood up.

The bar on the quiet street was dim and sparsely populated. Heetae had a brief conversation outside with his cousin, who called to invite him to a family gathering at the end of the year. He understood the urgency since both sides of the family were competing to set dates around this time.

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After hanging up and deciding to head back in, he suddenly ran into Ryu Sihyeon coming out of the bar. Although they had been sitting at the same table, this was the first time they were properly facing each other that day. Even in the dim light, he could see Ryu Sihyeon’s cheeks were flushed, indicating he had drunk quite a bit of wine. This was a new expression among the many faces Ryu Sihyeon had, which caught Heetae’s attention.

Time passed quietly while they stood facing each other. Feeling that it was impolite to just stand there, Heetae spoke first.

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“Did you drink a lot?”

“A little. I wanted some fresh air.”

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His expression was brighter than expected, quite different from when he was unsure and refusing earlier. Heetae nodded and walked past Ryu Sihyeon, but he stopped when Ryu Sihyeon called out, “Senior.” It was strange. There was a time when he thought Ryu Sihyeon’s voice lacked strength, but at some point, it had gained a pleasant resonance.

Heetae turned around. Their eyes locked as Ryu Sihyeon looked up at him. His brown eyes were speckled with the yellow light from the streetlamp.

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“I’m not Jang Icheon.”

“I know.”

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Did he call out just to say something so random? Slightly puzzled, Heetae asked Ryu Sihyeon, who was lowering his eyes.

“Why suddenly?”

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“Because I’m not a bad person.”

Was he really drunk? Heetae watched him silently. He hadn’t drunk much, yet he was acting in an inexplicable way. No, come to think of it, Ryu Sihyeon was always incomprehensible. What he thinks, who he is.

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Suddenly, he looked Heetae in the eyes again.

“I’m your fan, senior.”

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There was a slight shadow on Ryu Sihyeon’s pale face. A complex expression passed over it, as if he was yearning for something or tense.

“I really like you.”

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It was like watching a scene from a movie, so much so that Heetae momentarily froze, hoping it was true.

Interesting, Ryu Sihyeon.

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You’re really good at acting. Should I believe this?

“Mr. Ryu.”

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“Yes? Yes.”

Heetae slightly lifted the corner of his mouth. Surprised, Ryu Sihyeon answered with wide eyes.

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“You say you’re a fan but didn’t even get my number?”

At that, he could vividly see Ryu Sihyeon’s eyes trembling. The yellow light reflected in his eyes seemed to flicker. He liked the look in his eyes, the way they looked up at him, the slight trembling in his expression.

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“I wanted to ask for it before, but the timing wasn’t right. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”

“No.”

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“Oh, so, your number…”

Ryu Sihyeon fumbled in his coat pocket for his phone. Heetae remembered that Ryu Sihyeon once said he didn’t have a phone.

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…Remembering such unnecessary things.

He entered his number into Ryu Sihyeon’s phone and went back inside. After finishing another bottle of Pinot Noir, the gathering ended quickly. Heetae called for a designated driver, and they left with Kiyeon in the back seat. Whether it was out of kindness to drop him off nearby since their homes were close, or for some other reason, Kiyeon muttered with a smirk.

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“Ryu Sihyeon, he’s really something.”

Kiyeon sometimes says things that are hard to understand. This was one of those times. What was strange about someone who was usually quiet and just laughed at what others said?

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Just then, he got a message from Ryu Sihyeon.

[Senior, I enjoyed today. I’ll see you next time.]

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Contrary to Kiyeon’s words, Ryu Sihyeon’s message was very ordinary.

“Hey, do you want to see our kids?”

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Suddenly, Kiyeon handed him his phone while speaking. Heetae didn’t refuse and took it. As expected, there were photos of a sleeping kitten and puppy on the screen.

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“I need to go home quickly to feed Maria and Dorothy.”

Dorothy was Kiyeon’s cat, and Maria was his dog. Heetae could guess why he was showing these pictures. He was probably trying to cheer him up to bring up the topic of his next project. Playing along, Heetae browsed through the photos of Dorothy and Maria and said:

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“Why are you wandering around when you have a family to look after?”

“That’s harsh, I don’t rest much. I work harder because I have kids to feed. Anyway, you should appreciate Seo Heetae’s meddling.”

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Then, he cautiously asked Heetae.

“So, you’re not doing mine?”

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“Just send me the script. It’s suspicious you haven’t sent it even though you say it’s finished.”

“I’ll send it once you sign the contract.”

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“You’re crazy. What role is it?”

“…A lawyer.”

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“I figured you were hesitating. I’m tired of wearing suits.”

“You’re so picky. Half of your fan club fell for you because of those suits.”

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“Still, from a prosecutor to a lawyer? Isn’t it time for me to try something new?”

“How new do you want it to be?”

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Heetae thought for a moment before saying:

“Like Dustin Hoffman in ‘Rain Man.'”

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“You’d be Tom Cruise in that scenario. Wanting to be Dustin Hoffman is too much. You and an autistic person? It wouldn’t fit.”

Heetae replied calmly while looking at Kiyeon’s phone.

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“I just want to try something ordinary.”

At that, Kiyeon laughed, looking incredulous.

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“You’re so ambitious. You want to do everything? That’s against the fair trade laws, man.”

“You always talk well.”

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“So, instead of ordinary, how about a kind, handsome, and righteous lawyer?”

Heetae chuckled at that.

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“It sounds boring. Besides helping with an unjust case, is there anything else?”

Seemingly having nothing else, Kiyeon cleared his throat and changed the subject.

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“You weren’t born to do fun stuff. Just do what you’re good at. No matter how well you act, if you go up against an actor who’s been a law student, your manager would win. Why? Because he’s actually been through the exam and looks the part. With glasses on, he’s done. You? With glasses, you’re just a celebrity going to a convenience store.”

“Why the sudden lecture… I’m already living by compromising.”

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Kiyeon laughed and leaned back in his seat.

“Yeah, keep doing all the cool stuff. When you get older and your looks fade, maybe you’ll get more diverse roles. For now, just gather experience.”

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“I’ll be handsome even when I’m old.”

“That’s too bad for you then.”

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“Still, the lawyer role doesn’t appeal to me. How about something like a journalist?”

“I don’t know, man. So, you’re considering Choi’s project? Want to go to Cannes again?”

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“The film festival isn’t the goal. It’s still under consideration.”

“Sorry for not taking you to Cannes.”

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Kiyeon’s voice sounded slightly downcast. Heetae took his eyes off the phone to look at his friend beside him.

“What’s with you?”

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When they were with Director Choi earlier, he seemed to have forgotten about his past aspirations for film festivals, being happy about someone else’s success. But apparently, that wasn’t entirely true. Heetae had heard that Kiyeon’s last work was submitted to Cannes’ non-competition section but wasn’t ultimately invited. Feeling a bit sorry, Kiyeon said with a laugh:

“Don’t worry. I have no regrets. I should just do what I’m good at. Make a lot of money and live well.”

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…Though he said that, Kiyeon began to get lost in his own thoughts.

“The problem is Shin Chaeyeon. I should have secured you first. Honestly, is her drama some great masterpiece? She casts well, makes the characters stand out initially, then hooks the audience with sensational and fantastical stories.”

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“That’s harsh.”

“It’s fine. She said it herself.”

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“It’s pretty good, though. Why is everyone so eager to criticize themselves?”

Although he wasn’t good at comforting, Heetae tried with that comment, which made Kiyeon smile slyly.

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“Everyone has a low side. You too, probably.”

Kiyeon sometimes seems to see right through people. Even now, while he’s laughing, his eyes are sharp.

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“But the Seo Heetae that both Chaeyeon and I want to sell isn’t that kind of person. He’s someone people can live through vicariously. Your agency and the public want that Seo Heetae. You have to be an absolutely cool and amazing guy.”

In other words, he was telling him not to stray from his original image. It was advice he had heard to the point of boredom. Apart from being an actor, he had lived without much deviation.

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“Let’s not expect too much from life. I’ll never forget the look on your CEO’s face when he was worried your ads would drop if you played a villain. Even as a villain, you were still a cool bastard… Hey, if you do this lawyer role well, could you win the Daemyung Film Award for Best Actor? To win an award, you have to make the audience cry.”

“Ah, like Ryu Sihyeon?”

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“Yeah, like when he played an independence activist. My mom cried so much. How old was he then?”

“Twenty-five.”

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“Wow, that’s insane.”

“A life to be jealous of. So young, yet…”

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