AA Chapter 11.2

Amber wasn’t some reckless fool willing to throw his life away, but knowing that Tennessee would only do this for him sent a surge of pleasure shooting through him like a sudden, sharp horn.

‘Hold the head well, and rub it with your tongue.’

As if possessed, Amber babbled all sorts of things while losing his reason.

Hng, I’m going to come soon. You’ll swallow it, right? Do you know how long I’ve waited for this moment? You’ve never had someone finish on your face, right? I’m going to– in your throat–

“Amber.”

Amber, who had called Tennessee shameless when he was actually the most shameless person, snapped out of his reverie. As soon as he heard the call, Amber crossed to the bedroom.

Tennessee was sitting on the bed, having woken up at some point. He was stretching his neck and shoulders. The line from his neck down to his shoulder was smooth. Every time he tilted his head back, his prominent Adam’s apple caught Amber’s gaze. Amber barely collected himself and held out a cup to him.

“Coffee.”

“Thanks.”

But Amber didn’t let Tennessee take the cup. Easily avoiding his hand, Amber brought the cup directly to his lips. When Tennessee didn’t part his lips, Amber lightly pressed his thumb against them in protest. With a sigh, Tennessee’s red lips parted slightly. Amber tilted the cup bit by bit with gentle movements.

That sensual neck was right there beneath his hand.

Each time Tennessee’s Adam’s apple bobbed like waves, Amber anxiously licked his lips.

“Water too.”

“Here.”

Amber always kept a water glass by the bed for Tennessee.

“Haah…”

Tennessee, drinking water, suddenly felt hot breath and looked up. As he moistened his throat until the cup showed its bottom, Amber’s hand cradling his jaw felt increasingly burning.

“How’s your body?”

But Amber’s tone was nothing but calm. Which was the real Amber? The burning hand that had lost control, or the voice that maintained its center and remained grounded?

“Fine.”

Since he wasn’t fully recovered, Tennessee thought Amber was just asking out of habit

“Then it should be okay.”

“Hm?”

Amber carelessly put down the water glass and climbed onto the bed. Before he could react, Tennessee found himself lying back down. Above him was Amber, already showing his prominent erection.

“Will you use your hand this time?”

Tennessee couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Right, there was no point in wondering which was the real Amber. Because Amber would burn then turn cold, rage then become calm. And Tennessee welcomed even those variations and temperature differences.

“Haven’t you experienced this? When you don’t realize you’re hungry until you take one bite of something, then hunger hits you like a monster?”

Amber’s tone was light, as if telling a comedic story. But Tennessee realized Amber’s gaze was clearly tracing him from head to toe. It was a persistent, probing look, like someone carefully removing bones from fish, dissecting him piece by piece—his flesh, emotions, and reason.

“You awakened my hunger, so you must take responsibility.”

He gently bit Tennessee’s lips. He took those lips that always spoke harsh words yet could never be hated fully into his mouth, biting them, and when the lower lip had turned red, he sucked deeply.

Excitement rose quickly. Even without that, Amber’s body was naturally stimulated by Tennessee. And because Tennessee was never passive in bed, the sparks of excitement soon turned into a massive flame that completely burned away Amber’s reason.

Tennessee’s tongue entered welcomingly, gently parting his lips. Amber’s waist rose sharply at the pleasure that ignited him. It was an instinctive movement to make as much contact as possible.

Meanwhile, Tennessee held the back of Amber’s neck firmly as if wondering when he’d been receiving his kisses, and tasted and stimulated every corner of his mouth. When he firmly pressed down on Amber’s tongue, which didn’t know what to do, Amber’s arms momentarily lost strength.

“Tennessee…”

Ragged breaths mixed between them.

They both remembered the pleasure they felt yesterday perfectly.

“Undress me.”

Even while pinned under Amber, Tennessee skillfully removed his clothes with just one hand. Amber felt slightly uncomfortable at the skilled handling, but he knew it was pointless jealousy. After all, he was now Tennessee’s last lover. His lover for life.

After tossing aside his briefs, Amber guided Tennessee’s hand to his heated erection. A cool touch met the burning hot cock.

Surely Tennessee had done this alone before, and it wasn’t like this was his first time seeing it, but he touched the tip carefully, then pushed up the skin and moved his hand as if measuring the thickness. A trembling breath unconsciously escaped Amber’s mouth.

Despite the tingling pleasure already rising, Amber didn’t demand more. He just moaned softly, lowered his head, and kept gazing at Tennessee.

“I want to suck it.”

When Amber put his hands on Tennessee’s waist, Tennessee lifted his hips to help. Tennessee could appear ascetic at times, maintaining his restrained nature even when completely naked without any sensuality. He was the kind of person who restraint until the end. The fact that such a person was breathing shakily with a slightly flushed face made Amber boil with desire.

He took the half-erect member directly into his mouth and sucked hard. Carefully managing his teeth to avoid causing him pain, he suddenly pushed Tennessee’s length all the way to the back of his throat. Even though he didn’t have a good technique, Tennessee’s cock grew impressively without difficulty. Wet sounds escaped every time Amber moved his lips.

“Ah… it’s already filling my mouth.”

Tennessee’s was visibly large, requiring Amber to consciously relax to take it all the way. However, being a newbie at this, Amber soon had to release it with a cough. Even so, Amber’s own erection showed no signs of softening.

“Don’t force yourself.”

Tennessee meant it as concern,but Amber immediately retorted.

“Force myself? I’ve never forced myself except when holding back.”

As if it were the natural progression, Tennessee’s laughter followed.

***

Twice? No, they must have done it three times. First with hands as Amber had suggested, then with his mouth, and later, claiming he was taking a shower, they ended up going at it again in the bathroom.

Tennessee was internally surprised to discover such sexual desire in himself, having thought he was rather reserved. Shaking his head in disbelief, he felt Amber press against him from behind with a moan.

“You’re so warm. Should we take a nap like this? Or are you hungry?”

He was hungry, but Amber’s desire to stay by Tennessee’s side was much stronger than his hunger. Come to think of it, Tennessee’s embrace had always been warm. He just hadn’t given him many chances to feel that temperature.

“I’m not.”

It was already 3 PM, and skipping meals had dulled his appetite.

“Then don’t get up and hold me tight.”

Though Tennessee felt the requests were mounting, he complied, wrapping his arm around Amber’s shoulder. With his other arm under Amber’s neck, he pulled him close.

“…This is driving me crazy.”

Amber spoke softly while deeply breathing in Tennessee’s scent. It was a moment as warm and cozy as a sunset. But Tennessee was merciless.

“Let go.”

“…Meanie.”

Amber’s argument was that since he was now Tennessee’s lover, Tennessee had more obligation to sincerely comply with his requests. His grinning smile seemed both ill-fitting and perfectly fitting with his large frame.

“Don’t leave me now.”

Amber kept reconfirming their relationship, saying that since they were dating now, leaving wasn’t allowed anymore.

“Come to Michigan for July 4th. We always gather as a family, and I want to properly introduce you then.”

That’s how Amber’s bucket list started being revealed.

“For Thanksgiving, let’s go to Texas. The Dexleys always hold a big party there when everyone gathers. I always went alone, even though my dimwitted cousin Xander brought his girlfriend. Come spend Christmas together too. Or I can go to Chicago. Let’s spend New Year’s in New York, and have a fancy dinner date on Valentine’s Day.”

It felt as if he had been persistently imagining such things for years, making Tennessee’s back shiver.

“Ah… this is so nice.”

Embracing the warm Tennessee, Amber enjoyed his body heat and contact for a long while, as if trying to fill the void of connection Tennessee had left unfulfilled for so long.

“I’ll graduate soon, get settled and become independent. I can’t wait to live with you.”

“We’re already living together.”

“Not just staying here.”

Amber whined.

“I mean a proper, equal relationship where we can file joint tax returns.”

Joint tax returns… Good grief.

“I may not be able to be your ‘daddy,’ but I can be your sugar daddy.”

Tennessee teased, asking if Amber remembered calling him ‘daddy’ before.

“No way.”

It was obviously a lie.

“I don’t want that.”

Sugar daddy… he didn’t want to be a young lover who snagged an older man just to bleed him dry… Amber was thinking this when he raised his head at an internal ‘wait.’

“…There is something I want.”

Tennessee pulled back with an expression suggesting this was an unexpected answer.

“A car? House? College tuition?”

Not knowing that Tennessee had been saving a whopping ten thousand dollars monthly for several years already, Amber thought the scale was too large. He wasn’t used to Tennessee’s newfound clinginess yet. Amber just smiled until his eyelids curved from happiness.

“I’ll ask for it later.”

Amber wanted a ring. A ring that would suit Tennessee’s long fingers with their distinct knuckles. He knew Tennessee didn’t wear any accessories, but he would give in if he insisted enough, as he always had.

“Alright then.”

And Tennessee tensed his body, saying he needed to get up. No. Don’t go. Amber held on while dragging out his words, and Tennessee heartlessly shook him off, saying he needed to exercise. But no matter how much he shook him off, Tennessee always found it puzzling how he always lost. He clearly seemed to have pushed Amber away, but somehow he was back on the bed with Amber on top of him.

“Ah…”

Hot breath spread, and looking down, Amber was pressing his erect penis against him again. The hot shaft was pressed directly against bare skin, grinding sticky and slow.

Tennessee was flustered, unlike his usual self.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“We just finished.”

Tennessee. Amber’s eyes curved widely as if genuinely amused.

“You do know my age when you ask that, right?”

If there was one thing Tennessee had overlooked, it was the insatiable libido of a robust man in his early twenties whose long-awaited first love had finally come true.

***

Tennessee was only able to leave the bedroom after a full day had passed.

By then, Tennessee began to wonder if Amber might have a talent for confinement. When he tried to leave, Amber would bind his limbs; when he said he was hungry, Amber would quickly make something; when he felt sticky, Amber would wash him instantly; and after repeating this cycle just twice, the sun was already rising again.

At least he wasn’t starved or kept from sleeping, so perhaps he should count himself lucky. Tennessee got up from the bed with a slight sigh. Amber was deep in sweet sleep.

As Tennessee put on the sweatpants that had fallen to the floor, Amber stirred. Except for when he was young, it had usually been Tennessee who slept while Amber stayed awake, so he had rarely watched Amber sleeping.

Half-asleep, Amber’s hand stretched out to the side of the bed. His sturdy arm with moderate muscle swept across the bed. Feeling around, his fingertips moved as if measuring the bed sheets, but all he touched was the cooled bedding.

An empty bed. Realizing this fact, Amber’s eyes flew open.

“Tennessee?”

Watching the raw possessiveness unfold, Tennessee clicked his tongue.

“Yeah?”

The alertness that had completely replaced any trace of sleepiness in his eyes began to slowly fill with softness.

“Good morning. Why did you get up first?”

“Just because… And you?”

Though the sun was clearly high in the sky, Amber rather showed signs of extreme fatigue. He looked gaunt and even yawned. He had seemed more energetic right until going to sleep.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“Haha. No.”

Amber naturally avoided eye contact.

Even when drowsiness overtook him and he nodded off, his eyes would suddenly open as if splashed with cold water. And reflexively, he had to check Tennessee beside him. Tennessee, sleeping more soundly than ever, didn’t wake even when Amber’s hands carefully measured his arms and neck.

Only after savoring the sound of his regular breathing could Amber calm down. He repeated this many times. It was a sweet pain.

Tennessee immediately caught the faint signs in Amber’s expression.

“Are you in pain?”

“No.”

“You should rest.”

Sleep is important. Tennessee, having experienced chronic sleep deprivation and insomnia, knew this well. Amber burrowed into Tennessee’s embrace as if about to confess about his fatigue and anxiety from the previous night. Or at least, he tried to.

Tennessee found it somewhat burdensome when Amber leaned his large body against him. Though Amber thought he was nestled securely in Tennessee’s arms, in reality, Tennessee’s arm was just awkwardly draped over Amber’s shoulder.

They say big dogs still think they’re puppies even after growing up…

Tennessee let out a light laugh as he observed himself ending up consumed in Amber’s embrace. Amber, resting his chin on top of Tennessee’s head and forcefully scrunching his shoulders, burrowed into the embrace.

“I’ve always wanted to do this.”

“Move your head.”

“No.”

I’m stuck to you, so I can’t move.

A warm body pressed tightly against him. But Tennessee insisted that it was really time to leave the bedroom now.

“Tennessee, kiss me.”

Then I’ll wake up from my eternal slumber.

“Are you Snow White?”

“I ate the poisoned apple and fell asleep, what should I do?”

Tennessee stroked Amber’s head while pushing him away, but Amber wouldn’t back down easily.

“You should take responsibility after devouring your young lover in one bite.”

“This is ridiculous.”

Who was the one who seduced someone who said no?

“Kiss me, quickly. If not-”

“If not? You…”

When that hard thing from earlier touched his thigh, Tennessee pushed Amber away forcefully.

In the short time Tennessee had been doing various things with Amber, he learned that Amber had no hesitation in trying new things, and due to his inexperience, small stimulations resulted in big reactions.

He also had an impossibly bigger penis that would get hard at the most inappropriate times.

Gripping the back of Amber’s short hair, Tennessee bit his lips. Now Amber naturally parts his lips and shows his red tongue, as if following an expected sequence. When Tennessee pressed deeply against his lips, that hot temperature naturally surged forward. However, Tennessee kept his lips firmly closed and wouldn’t open them.

When Amber twisted his head in protest, a small gap formed between their locked lips. As Amber’s hot breath and tongue tried to slip in, Tennessee pulled his neck back with full force.

“…Why?”

Beyond those blue eyes, one could see sulkiness, confusion, and faint anxiety.

Ah, now I really need to leave the bedroom.

Even while thinking this, Tennessee couldn’t ignore Amber’s obvious anxiety. Tennessee grabbed the back of Amber’s neck as he urgently examined him.

“Amber, what should you say when you’re asking for something?”

The fear that had stretched itself thin slowly faded. Through those distinct lips came a desperate plea.

“…Please.”

“Good boy.”

Haah…

With a faint moan, their lips touched once more.

***

Amber was gradually learning more about Tennessee as they lived together. He thought he knew more about him than others since he had known him for a long time, but Amber learned something new every day to the point where that assumption felt laughable.

Tennessee liked Mexican food, but he still preferred the mac and cheese Amber made over tacos bought in a restaurant. He might have been lying when he said that, but it seemed like his taste had been conditioned, as his fork naturally went toward it, almost on instinct.

He didn’t like sugary carbonated drinks or sweet tea, but he drank sparkling water like regular water, and whenever asked if he wanted dessert, he would always shake his head, but when Amber put some on his plate, he would eat it without complaint. He ate ice cream more often than fudge or brownies, and preferred cheese dip over salsa with chips. The difference was very subtle, so Tennessee would eat whatever was given to him, but to Amber, who always keenly observed him, these faint preferences were clear.

“You don’t need to do this every time.”

Tennessee said when Amber brought peach cobbler.

He’s so kind, Amber thought. Although Amber was deeply in love, he hadn’t lost his sense of reality. He had a fairly accurate understanding of Tennessee, and even though he was an exceptional villain among villains, at that moment, he genuinely believed Tennessee was kind.

To Amber, it seemed Tennessee sometimes viewed his efforts as a sacrifice, carrying a faint sense of obligation as well.

Amber didn’t think at all that he was doing it out of obligation or making sacrifices. It was his greed clearly disguised. Amber wanted to naturally seep into his life, to seep deeply into his core until he couldn’t remove him even if he came to his senses later.

So Amber couldn’t be happier about Tennessee’s palate becoming accustomed to his food, how he accepted his touch as if it was natural, and how his gaze would naturally circle around looking for him when the house felt empty.

“How is it?”

“Fine.”

Tennessee’s ‘fine’ meant delicious. Amber watched him empty a plate of cobbler with a bright smile. Being Tennessee’s perfect husband was one of Amber’s desperate wishes.

When he tried to put the empty plate in the sink, Tennessee stood up, shaking his head. As Amber was about to say he would do it, Tennessee’s palm lightly stroked his head. While Amber was momentarily dazed, Tennessee quietly finished cleaning up and turned on the sink water.

Against the background of rushing water, Amber asked,

“Do you want to go downtown today?”

The faint sound of friction between the brush and plates could be heard.

“Why?”

“Just because.”

Tennessee was someone who didn’t do anything without a reason.

After neatly putting the dishes in the dishwasher, Tennessee dried his wet hands. Amber sat with his chin propped up, anticipating his answer.

“Alright.”

He was truly indulgent toward himself, as he rightfully should be. After all, Tennessee was his lover.

***

However, his lover didn’t overlook everything.

“Step back.”

“Why?”

“When I say step back, step back.”

It was when something occurred to Amber as they were walking along the Chicago River. Amber had stuck close to Tennessee, who was walking a couple of steps ahead, and hugged him from behind. Tennessee tolerated that much. But when Amber rested his chin on top of his head, he said those words sharply. Amber, however, didn’t feel disheartened in the slightest.

Finally!

With his chin rested on top of that neat head, Amber felt as if he could hear a military band playing behind him. His wish to grow taller than him someday and rest his chin on his head had come true. One item had just been crossed off Amber’s bucket list.

And though Tennessee didn’t know it, Amber had hundreds of items on his bucket list, and more than half of them were quite creepy.

“Move your head.”

When Tennessee’s voice turned ominous, Amber regretfully backed away. At least he achieved one wish, so it was a gain.

Following behind Tennessee, Amber looked at the night view spread out beside them. Even after the sun set and darkness deepened, Chicago never dimmed. When the sun falls, a new radiance rises in Chicago. The bustling metropolis, its ceaseless energy, and the lights blooming like bellflowers. Amber had now become used to the night view of Chicago.

Becoming accustomed to wonder was a luxury of new sensations. Amber hoped to grow accustomed to the wonder of being with Tennessee. A life of intertwining their fingers as if it was only natural, and leaning on each other – that was the life he craved.

“Amber.”

Lost in thought while looking at the night view, Amber’s steps had slowed. Tennessee, whom he thought had walked straight ahead, was waiting for him up there.

“Yes, Tennessee?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, let’s go.”

Amber quickly moved his feet. Reaching him, he carefully grabbed his wrist.

Could he hold his hand? Could he kiss him? Would he allow it? He couldn’t tell what he would tolerate. Amber knew exactly what lines shouldn’t be crossed, but since becoming lovers, he was seized by the greed to smudge that line. No, he wanted to pull that thin boundary taut until it snapped completely.

“Can I… kiss you?”

Amber didn’t give Tennessee time to close his eyes. Until now, expecting a clear answer from Amber was a luxury and close to pretension. Tennessee would say no, but he would always forgive him even if he hadn’t complied with his rejection, so it was simpler not to hear the rejection at all.

That begging from a few days ago was Amber’s boldest gamble.

Like snowflakes falling, Amber closed his eyelids and gently lowered his head. It was like a butterfly landing.

The kiss lasted only 2 seconds, but it was definitely a magical moment.

Amber opened his eyes, unconsciously letting out a trembling breath. It was time to wake up from the magical moment now.

However, even when he opened his eyes, even when the noisy backtrack of life rushed back like waves and the night city’s lights pierced his eyes, the magic didn’t break.

He had been living in a miracle all along.

“Satisfied?”

The cold wind lightly brushed his hair against his forehead. Tennessee asked, raising his strong, dark, masculine eyebrows. Amber barely managed to nod, being at a loss for words.

“What about you?”

Amber caught Tennessee as he was about to turn away and asked.

What about you? What do you think? How do you feel? Do you feel this way too? Are you so happy it’s actually scary? Are you happy but anxious at the same time?

“Answer me, Tennessee. Are you happy?”

This sudden question left Tennessee momentarily flustered, not expecting to be asked that. His lips, always smoothly wet, closed, and his gaze that had been carefully examining Amber went up to the left and then fell to the bottom right.

“Tennessee, please, answer me.”

Just as his mouth was about to open, a group of men came from behind with boisterous noise and bumped Amber’s shoulder. Ah. When Amber was pushed back a step, he thought he might have heard something.

“It’s strange. Like I’m not sure if this is okay.”

Tennessee was suddenly standing in front of Amber.

“…That’s enough.”

“Don’t try so hard to mask the dissatisfaction.”

Was I not hiding it well? Amber rubbed his eyes.

“Let’s go back.”

“…Yes, Tennessee.”

Along with the answer, Amber grabbed Tennessee’s wrist. Even if Tennessee refused, Amber wouldn’t let him escape. And Tennessee willingly accepted that indulgence.

***

After returning home, Tennessee naturally yawned. He was internally surprised when he looked at the clock. It was already past midnight. They had only gone downtown for dinner and walked a little, yet so much time had passed.

“Are you going to bed?”

When Amber asked Tennessee’s back as he headed to the bathroom, he briefly answered with a ‘yeah.

“Can I… sleep there today?”

Tennessee’s hand stopped as he was reaching for his toothbrush. Although he surely couldn’t be seen from the bathroom, Amber added, as if sensing Tennessee’s hesitation.

“I want to be in bed together. If you want, you can tie my hands.”

“No need.”

“Let me stroke your head while you sleep.”

It wasn’t a request to stroke his own hair, but a plea to be allowed to stroke Tennessee’s. With a faint laugh, Tennessee answered firmly.

“No.”

“I’m sorry, was that too sudden?”

As he put the toothbrush in his mouth, Amber’s voice came from the hallway in front of the bathroom, along with footsteps.

Tennessee was dumbfounded every time Amber treated him like a shy meerkat. Should he be annoyed, or should he ignore it altogether?

“Was I too pushy?”

This was it. Tennessee found himself repeatedly falling for Amber’s obvious schemes even while seeing right through them whenever Amber lowered himself like this. And every time Amber pretended to be pitiful and immature, Tennessee realized just how much he had matured.

The younger Amber had been an impatient child, desperate to grow up, agonizing over every glance, terrified of seeming even slightly immature. That had also been Amber’s Achilles’ heel.

But now, Amber unhesitatingly portrayed himself as weak and innocent, as if fully aware that Tennessee could no longer see him as a child, no matter how hard he tried.

So sly.

Spitting out the foam, Tennessee opened the door.

Sure enough, Amber’s eyes drooped pitifully.

“Just for tonight.”

Amber’s lips curved up smoothly and his face brightened. It was a smile laced with thorns, yet brittle enough to snap. It was the smile of one who knew his venom was harmless.