24ES | Chapter 9.4

But recently, someone like his past self had appeared—another 18-year-old who entered Hanguk University’s medical school. The first since him.

Curiosity flared. Why? It didn’t seem like this person had made the same decision simply to shorten the long path to becoming a doctor, as Yesung had. After all, the guy had even joined the army during pre-med—something everyone avoided and something Yesung himself hadn’t considered. There had to be a reason unique to him. Yesung was curious about that reason, and so he took an interest in the guy.

Yesung stared at him intently, and the coldness in Jung Hageon’s eyes, which had been fixed on Yesung from the start, began to melt. Instead, a strange, indescribable emotion flickered in his gaze. Noticing the distinct change, Yesung widened his eyes.

What is this…? Happiness? Excitement? No, that’s not it. It’s something much hotter and stickier… Right.

This was ecstasy.

But why? The silence between them stretched awkwardly. Yesung blinked wordlessly, and Jung Hageon broke the silence that had dragged on.

“Hello, sunbae. I’ve finally met you.”

His voice trembled slightly, as if suppressing strong emotions. He didn’t seem like the type to initiate conversations, and the greeting itself was a little strange.

What’s this about? Finally met me? Was he actually looking for me all this time?

Jung Hageon smiled stiffly, forcing the corners of his lips to move. Yesung, unable to guess the meaning behind his words, could only stare back in bewilderment.

At that moment, the lively voices of juniors broke the stillness.

“Instead of just standing around like this, why don’t we take a picture together since sunbae managed to make time for us?”

Yesung tore his gaze away from Jung Hageon and looked at the juniors.

“Oh, that sounds good! What do you think, sunbae? We can use it for the exhibition, too!”

As a fourth-year medical student about to graduate, Yesung had been too busy preparing for the national exams to participate in club activities lately. The juniors, aware that their time with him was running out, eagerly made requests to spend more time together.

“Sure, let’s do that.”

With his easy agreement, the juniors bustled about, quickly setting up the camera and preparing for the photo. Naturally, Yesung stood front and center in the first row, while Jung Hageon was pushed to the back due to his tall stature.

From where he stood at the far right edge, Jung Hageon’s gaze was fixed on the back of Yesung’s head. Yesung, aware of that persistent stare, ignored it and focused on the camera.

Click. The photo was taken just like that.

“…Huh.”

After staring at the photo in silence for a while, Yesung let out a gasp. Even with the proof right in front of him, he couldn’t believe it.

“I really forgot about it.”

Completely and utterly. It was like the memory had been wiped from his mind. Why? Why had he—? As he tried to piece things together, Yesung let out a deep sigh and covered his face with his hand.

“Ah… That time…”

After taking the photo, he had gone drinking with the juniors, unable to refuse their enthusiasm. Initially, he hadn’t planned to hang out for so long, but his curiosity about Jung Hageon had been piqued multiple times.

Yesung knew his alcohol tolerance well. But what he hadn’t accounted for that day was the state of his body. Exhausted from days of sleepless studying for the national exams, his body gave out after drinking far less than his usual limit.

That night, his memory had blacked out entirely, wiping away not just the evening’s events but also much of what had happened earlier in the day. It became just another unremarkable, repetitive day in his life.

If he had met Jung Hageon again after that, it might have been different, but there had been no further contact. Over time, the memory naturally faded away.

“So that’s why I thought I had this weird sense of homing instinct…”

Back then, Yesung lived in the university dorms. He didn’t realize it at the time, but that was the first time he’d ever been so drunk he couldn’t take care of himself. When he woke up, the familiar ceiling of his dorm room was the first thing he saw. He had assumed he’d somehow managed to stumble back on his own.

“How could I forget something like that… Alcohol is the enemy. Truly.”

Muttering to himself, Yesung repeated the phrase Kang Baek-o often complained about after a heavy night of drinking. He had never agreed with it before, but now he felt it deeply.

Rubbing his face in frustration, Yesung muttered, “That night at the bar… I think I left with Jung Hageon to talk alone…”

But now, trying to recall memories he had long discarded and given up on, it wasn’t easy. The clearer parts of his memory began to blur as he delved deeper, like trying to navigate through a thick fog. Furrowing his brows, Yesung’s frustration deepened.

Beep-beep-beep—click. The sound of a door lock password being entered and the door opening broke his thoughts.

Jung Hageon had returned home from work.

As soon as he heard the sound, Yesung rushed out of his room, clutching a photo from their university days in his hand.

The door burst open without warning, startling Jung Hageon, who had been taking off his shoes. His eyes widened in surprise.

“Sunbae?”

Though Jung Hageon’s face showed confusion, Yesung didn’t care. He thrust the photo toward him and asked, “You… Was it from back then?”

Jung Hageon’s gaze shifted to the photo Yesung was holding. A faint, emotionless murmur escaped his lips.

“Ah.”

He didn’t look shocked at all. From start to finish, his expression was calm and composed, showing no sign of wavering.

Raising his eyes from the photo, Jung Hageon met Yesung’s gaze directly.

“You finally remembered, huh?”

His voice was unnervingly steady. Yesung barely resisted the urge to frown at the pointed remark. Jung Hageon asked again.

“You remembered after seeing this photo, didn’t you?”

Yesung wanted to say yes, but his memory was still incomplete, so he couldn’t. Frowning, he finally said, “It was just that one day.”

When Yesung spoke, Jung Hageon pressed his lips together tightly. Seeing that, Yesung continued.

“You were my university junior, in the same club as me, so I thought we might have been more closely connected than I remembered. I even wondered if I’d forgotten a significant part of my memory, even though there was no accident.”

“…”

“But it wasn’t like that. It was just that one day. You and I only met on that one day.”

That fact felt absurd and a little hollow. As mixed emotions welled up in him, his voice trailed off. Jung Hageon, who had been quietly watching him, nodded.

“You’re right. That day was the first and last time we met during university.”

For the first time, a trace of emotion seeped into Jung Hageon’s voice. He smiled bitterly—a smile that felt painfully heavy.

His tightly pressed lips twisted slightly. Yesung stared at that faint distortion when Jung Hageon suddenly spoke.

“But, sunbae, that day was unforgettable for me.”

A memory easily erased by a few drinks for one person could be unforgettable for another.

Hearing those words, Yesung was at a loss. He had no response. This was the first time he’d ever been this curious about someone else. Because of that, he could somewhat understand. If not for the alcohol, perhaps that memory would have been special for him, too.

But unlike Jung Hageon, he had erased it so easily. He hadn’t even tried to retrieve it. There was no way their experiences could be the same.

If he hadn’t understood Jung Hageon’s feelings, he might have thought his persistence was incomprehensible, maybe even obsessive. But now, Yesung understood. He had no choice but to ask.

“What made it so special? That one day—for you.”

“It was the day I finally met the sunbae I’d always wanted to meet. We greeted each other and talked.”

The answer came without any hesitation. Jung Hageon, who had been gazing straight at Yesung, smiled faintly.
“You know, too.”

“What?”

“How famous you were in college.”

Yesung certainly knew. How could he not? That reputation was all his own doing, making it even harder to ignore.

Instead of agreeing, Yesung chose silence, and Jung Hageon let out a knowing chuckle as if he’d expected it.

“As soon as I entered college, I don’t know how often I heard about Han Yesung. Everywhere I went, it was Han Yesung this, Han Yesung that. It was all anyone talked about.”

It would’ve been stranger if he hadn’t known, he added with a laugh.

“As much as I heard about the lectures, I heard about the sunbae. Curiosity naturally followed. How could a person named Han Yesung be so talked about everywhere? Even the professors would go on about you during lectures.”

It was all familiar to Yesung. However, hearing it firsthand was a different feeling altogether. Jung Hageon’s gaze, which had been lost in the memories, refocused on Yesung.

“Back then, it was just curiosity. I was curious about the sunbae and wanted to meet you. If I met you… my curiosity would be resolved. I thought I’d return to my usual self who doesn’t care about others, as always.”

Jung Hageon smiled ruefully, as if regretting that past judgment. His dark pupils shimmered.

“It was a perfect misconception, an arrogance. To dismiss the sunbae everyone talked about so much as just another ordinary person…”

A self-mocking laugh escaped him. He stared intently at Yesung, who was much more accessible now than in his elusive college days.

“Now, whenever I want, I can meet Yesung and talk to him.”

The stark contrast to the past almost made him laugh. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he tilted his head.

“So I guess I’m being punished now. Ever since then.”

It was like grasping at sand; no matter how desperately he clung, it always slipped through. Until they faced each other in the club room, it had always been a precarious brush-by. Perhaps that’s why. He found himself pining for the mirage-like entity of Han Yesung.

What he really wanted to say, he swallowed, only voicing what Yesung wanted to hear. The accumulation of past stories and the emotions Jung Hageon felt then resonated in his voice, shaking Yesung’s pupils.

“So, you really have been…”

Yesung couldn’t hide his confusion. His voice shook as he asked, and Jung Hageon slowly shook his head.

“It was indeed then.”

“But…”

“If you ask if I’ve continuously liked you since then, I’m not sure.”

His tone was calm. Jung Hageon continued without inflection.

“After graduating from the school you attended and starting an internship at a different hospital, there was no time to think of anything else but work. As time passed and I became a resident, I thought my feelings for the sunbae had naturally faded.”

He let out a light laugh.