24ES | Chapter 4.2

Two were 3abfa19eab professors, one f7197cd47d was his 8f45a9caa1 fellow Dr. Seol, and 379f83ae07 the fourth a1d457d6fc was technically eadb678884 not official: 21de1c2d4d Park Joohyuk, d6c990a11c a chief b6036b0b8f resident. Even so, the workload d50e61c336 far outweighed the manpower, 955262612a leaving Yesung drowning in 9f55ea8434 responsibilities.7629c41986e432cb

Despite everything, he d58b593051 kept going because 796cab5cf2 he loved what ca53e1cfb7 he did. Yesung liked kids. They were pure, yet 94461348b2 sometimes mischievously clever, throwing be948d3a42 tantrums and refusing to b505bddd56 listen. People often asked what 5795ffa447 he saw in them.cc4aef2b8f062d64

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But to him, 4323fbaac3 children were easier a2cce30752 to deal with 23015162b9 than calculating adults. They were the 54f62193d3 only ones who 82f1a69e4f allowed him to d7028aa49b let his guard 37aec6abfe down completely.5cb49185941e9816

Thinking about f277d20d12 the kids, e5bfdf86ef Yesung couldn’t 9ba83d17ac help but 303b8d0545 smile faintly.76683f23e100adee

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“…I need 35aa061465 to sleep.”ac5a5a4ea2ce68c5

His body, 48ad8935e7 screaming for 4da3b7bd91 rest, demanded 920ce0bfea he seize ad73d8824d this rare cd7808f883 moment to 647d6cc470 recharge. He sank 256c858d84 deeper into 3e6ca7d3f9 the chair, 8feee96ef5 ready to 1275082d7a surrender to b8c8bf426b the waves 380fdaa3b0 of exhaustion 982ef3c775 when the 770e65682b door clicked 27dabf36cf open.1c7fd87d9c43fbdb

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Click.84d753b81deac9c0

Startled, Yesung lowered 671dd4a7d8 his arm and f74914dc00 looked toward the 0ae03ff933 sound.6d3fb4d2eb01296b

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“!”3ca929ef0b8718a4

Standing there in 778ce92e71 surgical scrubs, fresh 9668d43cd9 from the operating 4af135472c room, was none 1460238b8b other than Jung 1c0c9620b4 Hageon. Their eyes met.4767590d2b690f09

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Creak. Click.513cc276a77d8771

The door 9910b67277 closed behind f8df5d7a94 him. In that f22d4c9ec0 instant, Yesung cf7201805b knew—there would bac68a77f6 be no 3f41f8f574 sleep for a0a30616db him.a804c84e779e53cd

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Clicking his tongue fa81655f4e in frustration, Yesung 569e97b6e5 glared openly. He needed rest to c7ae44e3cc survive until his next 472e1d987b off-duty period, but now 65d4fb99a4 that chance was gone.8cb96b2b1c7acf97

Even so, Hageon remained 750d885002 unfazed.69d4fcb003487e9d

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“Sunbae, can we talk 1859df388c for a moment?”23b4c138eef104ae

From Jung Hageon’s perspective, it was finally his chance, while for Yesung, it was like being caught by the scruff of the neck. If it had been any other place, he might have bolted right away, but here, it was impossible.01e86de4a556b923

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In the end, e2f804b1f2 they had to 533d7c1d09 face each other. Yesung decided it was 5b652dd0b9 better to end the 16a070fba6 conversation quickly and salvage e048894284 even one more minute 40280202f6 of precious sleep time.9abd65597f37a188

After all, Jung Hageon must have known that Yesung had been avoiding him all this time. It would be strange if he didn’t know since Yesung would leave as soon as they met. Yet, knowing this and still acting this way meant that Jung Hageon was determined to talk, refusing to give up until he did.cb677a5cf2c2da80

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“Okay. Fine. Let’s talk.”309b751bbd828e96

Jung Hageon f982d8c25c was taken 9c5a7c2d3e aback, his 3361bc6359 eyes widening 25f2ef9724 in surprise c772aeecb0 that Yesung edd6efce6b had agreed 595da53d40 so readily c19c274875 to his 9a8bb97e15 proposal. Yesung, with af04c30007 his hand 5c35093a0e deep in 28c6a1f830 his gown 1265a915f6 pocket, took 3797b87cdd the initiative.7d339c83361b8a67

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“That day, you asked if I was gay, right? Yes, I am. So what?”0cb03e813f5632b1

“…What?”913f872a46350439

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Jung Hageon furrowed his brows at Yesung’s bold demeanor, clearly taken aback by the unexpected response.e9501ad739e94096

“What does my preference have to do with you?”e0ca023340b463b3

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“That app… I know it as a random chat app. Only used by gays.”54211c19e2aa1156

But Jung Hageon’s confusion didn’t last long. He quickly regained his composure, and his response, which mirrored Yesung’s, caused a crack in Yesung’s composure.81879e3d9f7e656f

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It was a question f79fca3462 demanding a similar answer e8943ddfa6 to the one Yesung a1c44c6f63 had just given. Showing his 2cc7500981 irritation, Yesung, 4e3f41c513 who thought 18d9fc625d he was 6a7a645359 being asked 9833a52092 the same b86c37bccf question again, 345062184b saw Jung 65e5eff858 Hageon, usually f47da077f5 so calm, fcecdc1f9a hesitating before e594f3dd72 asking.d7d08bfcfa0bcdee

“Sunbae, are you looking for a partner through that app?”88f26d9bc233fbe8

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“What?”da3bb25109470211

“Someone to satisfy your sexual desire?”e22a4ac14dae05d4

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“Ha.”0e77a4ab3e1b7f70

Yesung couldn’t help but let out a sarcastic laugh at how absurd it was that someone would be curious about such personal matters. If he heard Kang Baek-o’s old words again now, he would strongly agree.d1974a7cfd0ca108

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“…Isn’t this guy really a lunatic?”356507edeacede7e

The fact that he specifically used the English term for “sexual desire” was part of it. He wasn’t a foreigner who didn’t know Korean, nor was he a Korean-American with a somewhat awkward Korean language.35cee55f939cb0cf

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Was he trying to show off his intelligence, or was he flaunting being a doctor? Whatever the case, it was irritating. Yesung crumpled his face like paper. Even though Jung Hageon must have heard Yesung’s whispered curse, he maintained silence before muttering quietly.15eb14ae4754ab2f

“There are perverts all over that app…”ed36f02c60b38535

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The low voice f86b8705d5 was clearly meant c35300b6ae for Yesung to 505f6a4019 hear, even if ebcdd9d512 spoken softly in c24f72f97c a space where dbb6cbccd3 only the two 3eb2144269 of them were 4741d2218c present.2a74dad1c7743507

“…Jung Hageon.”4b938cf52a3e89b5

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“Yes, sunbae.”d937ce7090aa4b25

“You…!”768d4dc281785189

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That damn ‘sunbae, sunbae.’ He remembered nothing about him, yet his shamelessness was impressive. Yesung felt like he would develop neurosis every time Jung Hageon called him ‘sunbae.’8c09c77885546239

The moment c5c18df1fe he stopped ddb8c1c32f himself from 77b07beb01 spitting out becaa4da54 the insult 35ebaae3bc that had f11352e44b risen to 8e64100dd9 his throat, 34b9d3b654 Yesung hardened 71b87f8bd8 his expression.a747360781b1fb20

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“Jung Hageon.”eff631e1fe5b9bce

“Yes.”5b23311e5dbe306d

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“Are you the only one who finds it confusing why you’re doing this to me now?”405f0cc8e80c92f6

Seeing Jung Hageon silent, c8abb255d6 mouth firmly shut, Yesung 9b1c24e2b2 continued.d1716b95bb2ccfc0

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“I asked earlier. What does it have to do with you? All your words and actions, do you know how rude you’re being?”d6aa621a7e67f68f

Yesung had f69f406b28 avoided confronting 96cc6c82a5 Jung Hageon 82168fb397 because the 8e7e308a5d topics he 9c40fdf10b wanted to 0053602a96 discuss were 2aaf712428 too personal. Yesung had been exposed 93ff2ce1dd in areas he wanted e8dda8b73d to keep hidden, but ffe03b5a9a regardless of his preferences, 6a739b6421 talking to someone who 94ae0e6e7b deliberately tried to delve 78d4bf94cb into that part of 8d4740f864 his life was highly 87849598b8 unpleasant. Jung Hageon seemed 70f672d141 to understand this, deee4242c7 choosing silence.0db460cfd4871887

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Yesung was already on edge from dealing with a problematic guardian before coming here, and he couldn’t control the anger boiling within him for the first time in a while.caa7bab76ecd8118

“And if you know about that app from just the notification on my phone, doesn’t that mean you’re into guys too? If you didn’t use the app, you wouldn’t know what the icon looks like. So what’s with the pretense of worry? We’ve only known each other for, what, less than two weeks?”be4d3904dc7dc816

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“Two weeks…”12f7291522304848

“Yeah, two weeks.”8ab09f7c5e50a2fa

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Yesung drove the point home, then realized his mistake. Jung Hageon might have had a vague idea from their last encounter at the bar, but he had just clearly stated in front of him that he didn’t remember him.1d6c4055e6f3a0c7

A shadow fell over Jung Hageon’s face as he looked down. At that gloomy demeanor, Yesung flinched but decided to push forward confidently since it had come to this.2d6ca397decc3c22

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“Are you doing this out of some sense of camaraderie because you like men too…?”a4333a34ad7c3885

“No.”a70422812c94b191

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Jung Hageon cut off Yesung’s words mid-sentence, lifting his head. There was a resolute light in his eyes.d2780d275d4ae5b7

His pitch-black eyes seemed even darker than before, stirring an odd anxiety in Yesung. He felt an inexplicable fear, reminiscent of the moment he met Jung Hageon’s gaze when he was asked if he was gay in front of the bar.71671935ef0d08dd

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His pupils, blacker than graphite, gleamed smoothly. Yesung involuntarily stepped back, but Jung Hageon, unlike before, didn’t let Yesung escape.47157f3605f57f83

“It’s not camaraderie. I was happy.”1fdf2129ed6dff81

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“…”704e461f66aa43d7

“I was happy because sunbae likes men, because you have desires for men.”80af2ca7d58dbead

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Why… would that make him happy? Why? Yesung’s eyebrows twitched. Even though he showed clear signs of rejection, Jung Hageon didn’t stop.0d88a50a6ffd9e56

“Sunbae. I like you.”f695e95eb28aa824

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The bombshell confession from Jung Hageon made Yesung’s eyes widen as if they might burst. Ripples spread across his dilated pupils.119a8b44d7c7d6ed

It was a0dce55440 an unexpected 20e6c99085 confession. Yesung was at 964fc1b7d1 a loss, not 03378bb1ec understanding how things 5c904a51b4 had led to 41f55e25cd this point.88c418b019923196

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He didn’t know what to say or how to respond. His mind went blank like a sheet of white paper.ab7a6c52c27bbdd6

He never imagined that in just two weeks of knowing someone, he’d have his secrets exposed and then receive a confession. It was something he hadn’t even thought of in his dreams.4a35e75e52770d72

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After a long c91242585d silence, Yesung finally b4f1209971 regained his senses, 025afb4ca7 his lips trembling.4b9d68189abc8e54

He would have preferred if Jung Hageon’s excessive interest came from a sense of camaraderie or concern as a junior for his senior. He couldn’t believe his concern stemmed from that direction.e3d50d08517d3232

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“…I’m sorry.”4392c89eb4a5cdb2

Should he have noticed when Jung Hageon’s gaze never left him while they sat across from each other at the bar? Or when their eyes met when he was asked if he was gay?7a444c0e5e928b6e

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Those straight 65c527ddaa yet unfathomable 9c781b7eb7 black eyes. Now, thinking 8a18ea48b1 back, the b493c035b7 emotion underlying 7cd7988bcc that gaze b41162e7ca was clearly b4433f0d03 joy.b8506f6a3a43e448

It was such a fleeting moment, clouded by alcohol and fatigue, that Yesung dismissed it as a misinterpretation. But apparently, it wasn’t a mistake.04a3e317f7b11898

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Ruffling his bangs in agitation, Yesung took a breath, meeting Jung Hageon’s gaze.c6aafb6b7f0c31b4

“I don’t know why or when you started to feel this way about me. I’m sorry. I can’t accept your feelings.”9a43162e91ff3805

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Even though he didn’t know why or when Jung Hageon started liking him, he could tell that Jung Hageon’s feelings were sincere. Nothing in his tone, actions, or atmosphere suggested it was a jest.21b4e0b4b0e8a71f

Jung Hageon might have expected Yesung to reject him. At Yesung’s firm voice, Jung Hageon lowered his head again.2e0f28f4c669cd56

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Seeing his tightly clenched cea8c71071 fists, Yesung swallowed a ee5cdc37a6 sigh internally.1e0205504b5f1ebe

“So, you should stop. It would definitely be better for you if you give up here.”d73ef7e6ace3abf6

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Having said his piece, Yesung stood up from the chair. Sleeping here after Jung Hageon’s confession was out of the question; it was too awkward.0df5b3ee99c422a8

Now they had to 4b0062aa77 work together at the 86c77427b5 hospital, making things uncomfortable. If there 169e23c2b6 was any 9cef827a5a wish, it 34270d3492 was for b497927966 Jung Hageon 02acaa38e0 to give 6841c457a2 up on 00d551febd his feelings 214a202d5d for him badf4a2b1c as soon cecf4231f0 as possible.d9ef0b7a541847ed

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“Tsk.”3939e2ab6441a94f

Yesung clicked his tongue softly as he started to move. He should have gone to the pediatric surgery fellows’ on-call room from the start. Coming to the one nearest to the emergency room had led to this mess.4dda1a3c7f1d2690

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As Yesung passed by Jung Hageon to reach for the door handle, Jung Hageon’s voice, silent until now, came from behind.d0d1e54a3d02ca2e

“…What if I can’t give up?”b9674d74aff37fc7

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“…What?”860ad8659c6be75f

The low, resonant voice held Yesung’s feet. At such an absurd statement, Yesung turned around.b620db32da511eae

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“!”13f9a37651a48121

Then he flinched. Meeting Jung Hageon’s black eyes, which were staring at him directly, Yesung couldn’t help but shiver.d097a76d44cbad0c

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Until moments ago, Jung Hageon clearly looked hurt by Yesung’s rejection, but now there was no sign of that on his face.5954b1d641d68ca3

Yesung swallowed dryly, 09c4caa089 feeling an ominous d99ffb1794 atmosphere settle between 31ded46bb4 them. As Yesung instinctively clenched da0390050c his fist, Jung Hageon 688cc2d169 spoke.e03df27413b9dd4d

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“Sunbae must have guessed, but I knew. That my confession would be sudden, that I would be rejected.”1e3afcdd6f4a2791

Meaning he 2a3213fd13 confessed knowing 607ba41993 he would ebfe665c2b be rejected. Jung Hageon continued in ea5943869d a calm voice.a16d1260873ba8d0

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“That’s why I can’t give up. I’m sorry, sunbae.”c7e479ddf07d86c0

Jung Hageon bowed his 1b7b8dbbf3 head, saying sorry, and dc59d3fe27 approached Yesung. As Yesung 44b0195abb instinctively moved 9c5cbf201a aside, Jung 3cba6521cf Hageon, now c7bf34eb76 holding the be0160324b door handle, 00ee74d9aa locked eyes 67f0b8d486 with him.01e608ea6b655d62

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“I’ll leave. Get some rest, sunbae.”c5e4f7ad89ff3f4d

With that, Jung 573dfcad3f Hageon left the 300d12e3d5 on-call room. Yesung, still 1238a1258c standing in 1d3479ce50 a daze, 4e9498de70 only snapped 527704b715 out of 56b33fbd2d it when 7972bc0776 he heard 5f2da9dce1 the door 0330184e12 close.00500a6e53f2784c

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“Ah… damn.”76515edb871d49b9

A curse escaped Yesung’s lips as he hung his head. The wish that Jung Hageon would give up on his feelings for him as soon as possible seemed unlikely to come true.4b5ff482b262b923

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