OAO | Chapter 19

“Life is unpredictable. Ten years ago, I couldn’t have imagined being in this relationship with Hyung. It’s the uncertainty of what might happen next that makes life interesting.”

Jaeyoon had said this just a few days ago, lying on Kangyoon’s arm after they had been intimate. Kangyoon had to agree. Life was indeed unpredictable. But this… this wasn’t something that should ever happen.

Kangyoon’s driving was rough. Normally, he would brake at a yellow light, but today he pressed the accelerator, barely making it through before the light changed.

“We’re at the hospital. One of the staff tripped over a cord and collided with the set, causing the equipment to fall on Jaeyoon…”

The rest of the words were a blur. The mention of the hospital had caused his mind to go blank. Yoon Jaeyoon was injured and taken to the hospital. That was all he could process.

He didn’t remember how he got to the hospital. He barely parked the car before calling the manager.

“The bleeding was alarming, but it was just a head wound. The MRI showed no other issues. They stitched it up and moved him to a regular room.”

The manager reassured him, saying it wasn’t a serious wound and that Jaeyoon was still under anesthesia. But without seeing him, Kangyoon couldn’t calm his anxiety. Climbing to the hospital room felt like an eternity. Every second dragged painfully.

Standing outside the room, he took a deep breath and knocked.

“Yes?”

The manager’s voice answered. Opening the door, he saw Jaeyoon sleeping on the hospital bed, his head wrapped in white bandages. Despite being told it was just stitches, seeing Jaeyoon like that made his heart clench.

He hesitated at the door, staring at Jaeyoon until the manager pulled him inside.

“I told you, he’s okay. Relax.”

Only then did he realize how tense his face was. He ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply.

“I’ll get us something to drink. Stay here.”

The manager left them alone, seemingly on purpose. Kangyoon approached the bed and checked Jaeyoon’s face. The thought of him being hurt made Jaeyoon look even paler than he did in the morning.

“Don’t scare me like that.”

He reached out and stroked Jaeyoon’s cheek. He had thought his heart would stop when he heard about the injury. It was a moment of utter darkness.

He pulled a chair next to the bed and held Jaeyoon’s hand. Feeling its warmth calmed him a bit. It was a miracle that the heavy equipment falling on his head only caused a minor injury.

“Lucky guy.”

His words were light, but his face was clouded with worry. Even a scratch during filming would bother him. Seeing Jaeyoon with his head bandaged, even hearing that he was fine, didn’t stop the pain in his heart.

He noticed the ring he had given Jaeyoon on his finger. Seeing it now brought a bitter smile to his face. No matter how much he claimed Jaeyoon as his, such accidents reminded him how easily he could lose him.

He wanted to keep Jaeyoon safe, away from all harm. The thought was irrational, but it grew stronger.

His phone rang, and the caller ID showed it was Ray.

“Hello?”

“Jaeyoon got hurt? I saw it on the news.”

Was it that big of an accident to make the news? Imagining the scene again made his heart tremble. It was a relief that things hadn’t been worse.

“There was a lot of bleeding from a head wound. They stitched it up, and he’s sleeping now.”

“Are you at the hospital?”

“Yes.”

[Junie and I are coming. Tell me the hospital and room number.]

Kangyoon was about to say it was okay, but knowing that the On&On members cared about Jaeyoon too, he obediently gave the hospital and room details.

After the call, he looked back at Jaeyoon. Seeing him still sleeping motionlessly, his anxiety spiked. He reached out and felt the warm breath from Jaeyoon’s nose, finally feeling a bit of relief.

“Wake up soon.”

Seeing Jaeyoon awake and smiling would be the only thing to calm his racing heart.

🎥🎤

Murmurs. Voices of people. Jaeyoon tried to open his eyes, but they wouldn’t obey. His eyelids felt heavy. His head throbbed.

“…Postponed all the ad shoots…”

“…Don’t worry too much…”

“Hey, Jaeyoon’s waking up!”

The faint voices grew clearer until one shouted right next to his ear. The noise made his head buzz, causing him to frown unconsciously.

“Are you awake?”

A familiar voice.

“Should we call the doctor?”

“Yoon Jaeyoon, if you’re awake, open your eyes.”

There wasn’t just one voice. At least three or four. He forced his eyelids open, and bright white light flooded in. The glare made him groan, and someone shielded his eyes with a hand. It became easier to open his eyes.

Blinking slowly, he waited for his blurry vision to clear. When it did, he saw several faces looking down at him. On&On members and the manager. Something felt off.

“Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”

Gyuho asked, touching Jaeyoon’s head and shoulders.

“I’m fine… ugh!”

Trying to get up, Jaeyoon winced in pain. He raised a hand to his throbbing head but stopped when he felt rough fabric instead of hair.

“Huh…?”

He made a dumb sound, looking around and tilting his head. It was definitely a hospital room. Why was he here?

“Did I… get hurt?”

Jaeyoon’s question made the Hyungs look at him as if he was speaking nonsense.

“The set collapsed during filming and fell on your head. Don’t you remember?”

The manager asked. Did that happen? So that’s why his head was bandaged. His memory was fuzzy.

“Sorry for worrying you.”

He didn’t understand everything, but he knew he was injured and in the hospital, causing the members to worry and gather around. He apologized awkwardly, and Kangyoon, who had been leaning against the window, approached. As the distance between them closed, Jaeyoon’s gaze followed.

“You’re awake, and that’s what matters.”

Kangyoon reached out to touch Jaeyoon’s head but stopped midway, probably because of the bandage. He couldn’t ruffle Jaeyoon’s hair like usual.

“Kangyoon Hyung, your face looks really stiff.”

Feeling guilty, he tried to lighten the mood with a playful smile, but Kangyoon’s face remained grim.

“But…”

Jaeyoon looked around at the members surrounding the bed. Something felt off. He tilted his head again.

“Hyungs look a bit strange…”

What was it? Squinting, he suddenly realized.

“You all look like you’ve aged… even the manager.”

His comment made the members frown.

“You wake up and the first thing you say is we’ve aged?”

Gyuho raised his fist as if to smack Jaeyoon but lowered it when Kangyoon gave him a look.

“Where’s Hanjun Hyung? Oh, I guess he didn’t want to bother coming to the hospital.”

Jaeyoon’s words caused everyone’s faces to stiffen. He grimaced, thinking that Hanjun must really dislike him, but seeing the shocked expressions of the members looking at him, he blinked in confusion.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Gyuho asked sternly.

“Huh?”

Not understanding the question, Jaeyoon asked dumbly, but everyone just stared at him with serious expressions, not explaining anything. The gaze felt uncomfortable. Did he do something wrong? That couldn’t be good… This was the only place he had.

“I must have messed up everyone’s schedules. I’m sorry. When can I be discharged? Can I go on stage right away after discharge? Would it look too bad with bandages?”

His thoughts spiraled out of control as he worried about inconveniencing the members. His head still throbbed, but that pain was bearable compared to the thought of ruining their schedules.

“Yoon Jaeyoon.”

Kangyoon called out coolly. All eyes, including Jaeyoon’s, turned to him. Kangyoon seemed angry for some reason. Usually reserved, he rarely expressed displeasure. If he was this upset, Jaeyoon must have really messed up, making his heart pound with anxiety.

“If this is a joke, stop it. It’s not funny.”

Even Kangyoon’s gaze was icy. His cold eyes reflected Jaeyoon’s face. Thump, thump. Jaeyoon’s heart pounded and his head throbbed, making him frown unconsciously. Remembering he was in front of the members, he forced a smile.

“A joke… What are you talking about…?”

He looked at Kangyoon and the members with a confused expression. Ray let out a long sigh.

“Call the doctor.”

“Huh…? Oh!”

At Ray’s command, Gyuho quickly pressed the nurse call button and reported that Jaeyoon had woken up but seemed a bit off.

There’s something wrong with me?

Confused, Jaeyoon’s gaze darted among the members’ faces. His eyes met Kangyoon’s, who had been staring at him.

“Kangyoon Hyung…”

Familiar yet strange. It was definitely Lee Kangyoon, but he seemed more mature and his demeanor was different. Most notably, his gaze felt different. As Jaeyoon tried to ask what he had done wrong, Kangyoon let out a long, silent sigh and turned away. Watching his back as he stood by the window, Jaeyoon’s heart ached inexplicably.

🎥🎤

“Do you know what day it is today?”

The doctor asked Jaeyoon after being briefed by the manager and the members.

“June… 10th, 201X?”

Jaeyoon answered uncertainly, looking at the doctor and the members. Their faces stiffened. The doctor let out a short sigh.

“How old are you?”

The doctor asked, looking at the chart.

“Eighteen…”

Why did stating his age make him feel so small? As expected, the members simultaneously let out sighs.

“We need to refer you to psychiatry for a full diagnosis, but it appears to be dissociative amnesia.”

The doctor explained to the manager.

“Amnesia?”

Jaeyoon asked in shock. Me? Amnesia? My memories are gone? Unable to speak, his mouth moved silently. The manager patted his shoulder reassuringly.

“Can part of one’s memory just disappear?”

The manager asked, and the doctor nodded.

“There are different types of amnesia. Generalized amnesia involves not remembering anything about oneself, but there’s also continuous amnesia, like the patient’s, where they can’t remember events from a certain period to the present. Was there any recent stress or trauma?”

The manager looked at Kangyoon, thinking he’d know best since they lived together. Kangyoon shook his head.

“Not that we’re aware of.”

The manager answered. Recently, Jaeyoon had been more stable than ever, always smiling since moving in with Kangyoon. It wasn’t like the practiced smiles he showed to fans. Even the manager occasionally joked that his facial muscles had relaxed too much, and he needed to control his expressions.

“So it’s unlikely to be psychological. This could be a temporary result of a concussion, so don’t worry too much. Fortunately, he remembers his daily life, so it shouldn’t affect his routine.”

The doctor recited a textbook response and then advised connecting with the psychiatry department for further consultation before leaving. The remaining members just exchanged uneasy glances, unable to find the words. The manager, too, alternated between looking at Kangyoon and Jaeyoon, at a loss for what to say.

Jaeyoon’s activities were postponed due to the accident, so that wasn’t an issue. The news coverage of the accident had garnered understanding from broadcasters and advertisers.

The real problem was…

“Lee Kangyoon.”

Ray called out to Kangyoon, who was standing by the window. Kangyoon’s dark eyes slowly moved to meet Ray’s. He didn’t speak or frown, but the air around him was chillingly tense.

Yoon Jaeyoon couldn’t remember Lee Kangyoon. Specifically, he remembered Lee Kangyoon as a member of On&On, but not as his lover. Ray worried about how Kangyoon would handle this.

“Stay calm. He’ll be fine soon.”

Ray advised, but Kangyoon’s jaw clenched, his cheekbones pronounced. Jaeyoon, not understanding what they were waiting for, watched them nervously.

“For now, rest. You need to rest to recover quickly.”

The manager tried to lighten the mood, telling Jaeyoon to rest and ushering the other members out of the room.

“Kangyoon, you should go home too…”

“I’ll stay in the room.”

The manager tried to send Kangyoon home, but he cut him off, insisting on staying. The manager hesitated, unsure if leaving Jaeyoon alone with Kangyoon in his current state was a good idea.

“Let him be.”

Junie intervened, suggesting the manager leave with them. In the end, Ray, Junie, Gyuho, and the manager left the room.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

The manager fretted, looking back at the door.

“They won’t hurt Jaeyoon. Don’t worry.”

Junie tried to reassure him.

“You never know with Lee Kangyoon. He’s an alpha, obsessed with his omega. You underestimate the possessiveness of alphas.”

Ray countered, making the manager’s face harden again.

“It’s no good. I should stay in the room and send Kangyoon home…”

The manager started to go back in, but Ray blocked him.

“I just told you. Lee Kangyoon is an alpha protecting his own. He won’t leave the room.”

Ray’s firm words made the manager groan and back off.

“Junie might be right; he might handle eighteen-year-old Jaeyoon gently. Or he might try to shake Jaeyoon’s memory.”

Ray glanced toward the room, his brows furrowing slightly with concern.

“It’s their issue. Let them handle it.”

He meant not to interfere. The manager sighed deeply and turned away. Ray was right. Lee Kangyoon and Yoon Jaeyoon weren’t just group members. In Jaeyoon’s current memory, they might be no more than that, but the twenty-nine-year-old Yoon Jaeyoon adored Lee Kangyoon deeply. Even if Kangyoon pushed a bit aggressively, it would be okay. The older Jaeyoon’s feelings were stronger, so he would eventually accept Kangyoon. They had to trust that.

🎥🎤

With the members gone, the room fell into silence. Kangyoon was never a talkative person. In the practice room and the dorm, he spoke only when necessary, making the air always feel quiet around him.

But this was an almost suffocating silence.

“Um…”

Jaeyoon broke the silence, unable to bear the awkwardness, but he couldn’t find the words. Kangyoon’s gaze was fixed on his face. Though he said nothing, just being silently watched made Jaeyoon anxious.

“I’m sorry. I caused trouble for the Hyungs.”

If there had been a schedule and it was canceled, then he had definitely inconvenienced the other members. Hanjun wasn’t there earlier, but he would probably be the most critical, complaining about how someone with no talent was holding others back. But this time, Jaeyoon had no excuses. He had indeed disrupted their plans.

“There’s no need to apologize.”

Kangyoon’s tone was hard, making Jaeyoon bite his lower lip. Not being able to apologize left him unsure of what to do.

Kangyoon sighed deeply, moving from the window to sit by the bed.

“I understand that your memories are stuck at eighteen.”

The doctor had mentioned amnesia, but Jaeyoon still didn’t fully grasp what was happening.

“It’s 202X now, and our group activities ended five years ago.”

“Huh…?”

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened in surprise.

“202X…”

Muttering dumbly, he gasped. Ten years had passed? No wonder Kangyoon, Ray, Junie, and Gyuho all seemed so suddenly mature. Now he understood their speechless and incredulous reactions.

“We’ve been doing individual activities, so no one else was affected.”

Kangyoon stated firmly. Though his tone remained curt, Jaeyoon felt relieved. The sudden leap in time was disorienting, but at least he hadn’t caused trouble for the members.

“So what’s everyone doing now?”

He asked out of genuine curiosity. It was hard to imagine their lives post-idol activities. For eighteen-year-old Jaeyoon, On&On was the only place he belonged.

“Ray Hyung occasionally releases solo hip-hop albums, and Junie Hyung appears on music variety shows thanks to his arranging skills.”

“Ah…”

Jaeyoon nodded, easily accepting the explanations. Ray had originally won a hip-hop survival show. Despite leading an idol group, his passion for hip-hop was always evident, so solo activities in that genre made sense. Junie was talented in arranging music and proficient with all instruments. Before debuting, he had even taught Jaeyoon some piano and guitar basics. Imagining him as a mentor on a music show was plausible.

“What about Gyuho Hyung?”

“Gyuho Hyung…”

Kangyoon checked the time and decided it was easier to show than tell. He found the remote and turned on the TV, flipping channels until he landed on a program.

“Oh, it’s Gyuho Hyung.”

Gyuho appeared on screen, chasing after a toddler and cleaning up the toys they scattered.

“That’s Gyuho Hyung’s child.”

Kangyoon added casually. Jaeyoon couldn’t help but let out a surprised exclamation.

“Gyuho Hyung got married? When?”

“After Hanjun was kicked out of the group for drunk driving and assault, about a year later. Ray Hyung and Junie Hyung were preparing to release an album after returning from studying abroad, but Gyuho’s girlfriend got pregnant. He declared he had to take responsibility, which effectively ended On&On.”

The flood of unexpected information left Jaeyoon gaping. The fact that Hanjun had been expelled from the group and that Gyuho had a premarital pregnancy and marriage were both shocking.

“What about you, Hyung? What are you doing now?”

If the group activities had ended, he wondered what Kangyoon was up to.

“Producing. Composing too.”

The brief answer made Jaeyoon nod. Kangyoon had always created about half of On&On’s songs.

It suits you. You’re probably great at it.

He kept these thoughts to himself.

There was one more thing he wanted to ask, but he couldn’t bring himself to. What about me? What am I doing? In the group, he had been just the visual center. Unlike the other members, who excelled in singing, dancing, or composing, Jaeyoon didn’t have any particular musical talent.

Kangyoon watched him silently, then sighed and reached out to lightly pat Jaeyoon’s bandaged head. Watching his hand briefly touch and withdraw, Jaeyoon felt a strange sense of familiarity.

“You’re acting. You’ve established yourself as an actor. Last year, the first movie you starred in surpassed ten million viewers.”

“Huh…”

Jaeyoon blinked in disbelief. When he was first scouted on the street, he had aspired to be an actor rather than a singer. He joined On&On as the last member due to circumstances, but he wasn’t desperate to become an actor, so he just followed the company’s directions. At that time, it wasn’t about being a singer or an actor; he just needed a place to belong.

Seeing Jaeyoon’s disbelief, Kangyoon searched for the movie on his phone and showed it to him. The poster featured Jaeyoon and an unfamiliar male actor, and the movie information confirmed it had indeed surpassed ten million viewers.

“It was the most talked-about movie last year, sweeping Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, and even Best Couple awards.”

Kangyoon frowned slightly as he mentioned the Best Couple award.

“I can’t believe it.”

“You worked hard for it.”

Kangyoon responded to Jaeyoon’s muttering, adding that it wasn’t just luck but his own skill, making Jaeyoon feel a bit embarrassed.

“Um…”

After hearing about the members’ individual activities, Jaeyoon had another question. Kangyoon met his gaze calmly.

“So, we don’t live in the dorm anymore?”

The dorm was cramped, noisy, and sometimes inconvenient with all the rules, but it was the only place Jaeyoon could return to.

“No.”

The answer that the place was gone made his heart sink. Biting his lip, he heard Kangyoon sigh deeply.

“You’re living with me.”

“Huh?”

Jaeyoon looked up at Kangyoon in surprise. Living together? With Kangyoon Hyung? It was unexpected but somehow reassuring.

“I see.”

Though he had no memory of it, it wasn’t strange that after ten years of working together, some members would live together even during solo activities.

But was I that close to Kangyoon Hyung?

At eighteen, Kangyoon wasn’t someone Jaeyoon felt particularly comfortable with. He was mostly expressionless and spoke little, making it hard to know what he was thinking.

Still, Kangyoon was always the one to quietly step in when Hanjun scolded him. Maybe that’s why they became close enough to live together.

The lack of memory was frustrating. For the first time since waking up, Jaeyoon regretted losing ten years of memories.

How close was I to Kangyoon? If we lived together, we must have been quite close. What brought us together? Kangyoon Hyung doesn’t like mingling with others, so why live with me? If On&On disbanded, he seemed like someone who would live alone…

Trying to force a memory made his head throb. As he frowned from the headache, Kangyoon’s face suddenly came close. Startled, Jaeyoon’s eyes widened.

“Don’t overdo it. Whatever you’re worrying about can wait until tomorrow.”

Kangyoon grabbed Jaeyoon’s shoulders and gently pushed him back onto the bed. He covered him with a blanket, telling him to sleep, and left the room to get some water.

“Ugh.”

Jaeyoon pulled the blanket over his face and groaned.

I thought he was going to kiss me.

The thought made his face flush with heat. Why did that thought even cross his mind? As Kangyoon approached, he had smelled a sweet scent. He knew Kangyoon was an alpha, but he had never been conscious of his alpha pheromones before…

“You’re crazy, Yoon Jaeyoon. What are you thinking about Kangyoon Hyung?”

He squirmed under the blanket, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t know how to face Kangyoon when he returned. He decided to pretend to be asleep. Falling asleep for real would be even better.

🎥🎤

The next day, Jaeyoon had a consultation with a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist echoed the previous doctor’s words, saying it was likely a temporary condition due to the head injury and that his memories would naturally return as he resumed his daily life.

“The doctor said there’s no other issue besides the stitched wound, so you can be discharged.”

The manager conveyed the doctor’s words but suggested it might be good to rest in the hospital while he was there. However, Jaeyoon shook his head. He didn’t want to waste money on hospital bills and felt bad making the manager and other members worry about him.

“You don’t need to worry about hospital bills… Do you know how much you earn in a year?”

Jaeyoon frowned, asking how much a private room costs, making the manager sigh.

“It’s inevitable. Jaeyoon’s sense of money is stuck at eighteen.”

Kangyoon’s comment made the manager groan, realizing he had forgotten that.

“Do I earn a lot?”

Jaeyoon pointed to himself and asked.

“Yes.”

Kangyoon’s simple and clear answer left Jaeyoon stunned. The manager added a bit more detail.

“You earn the most among the members. Last year alone, you shot over ten commercials.”

“Ten?”

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened in surprise, unable to remember his own achievements. Estimating each commercial’s fee to be around 100 million won, Kangyoon and the manager wondered whether to explain that Jaeyoon’s value was now at the A-list celebrity level. When Jaeyoon was eighteen, On&On had just debuted, earning relatively small fees compared to now. So Jaeyoon, with only his eighteen-year-old memories, couldn’t fathom his current earnings.

“What did I do with all that money? Is it in the bank? I wonder if the account password has changed.”

Jaeyoon, curious about how much he had earned, started looking for the bank app on his phone. Kangyoon quickly took the phone from his hand.

“Check it when your memory returns.”

Kangyoon didn’t distrust Jaeyoon, but mentally, he was still only eighteen. There were likely tens of billions in his account, and Kangyoon worried that, without his memories, Jaeyoon might be taken advantage of and waste his money.

Buzz. Jaeyoon’s phone vibrated in Kangyoon’s hand. Seeing the caller ID, Kangyoon’s face hardened slightly.

“Who is it?”

Jaeyoon naturally asked, curious about the call on his phone.

“Hold on.”

Instead of handing the phone to Jaeyoon, Kangyoon answered the call, holding the phone to Jaeyoon’s ear.

“This is Lee Kangyoon.”

After identifying himself, he stepped away from Jaeyoon, moving to the window.

“There was a minor accident… No, he’s fine now. But his memory…”

Jaeyoon watched Kangyoon explain his situation and turned to the manager, mouthing, “Who?” The manager shrugged, indicating he didn’t know either.

“He’ll be discharged today, so there’s no need to worry. The doctor said his memory should return soon… Yes. I’ll tell him to contact you when he’s better.”

After finishing the call, Kangyoon handed the phone back to Jaeyoon. Seeing the caller ID, Jaeyoon’s face hardened involuntarily.

“This… is real?”

He pointed to the last caller’s name on his phone and asked. The screen showed “Mother.” When Kangyoon nodded, Jaeyoon’s expression turned conflicted.

“Mom…”

Muttering “Mom” instead of “Mother,” it hit Kangyoon again that Jaeyoon’s mind was still at eighteen.

“After ten years, I guess I’m in touch with her.”

His response was tinged with bitterness.

“There have been many changes. She wanted to come to the hospital, and I said it was okay. I told her you’d contact her when you’re better.”

Hearing that his mother wanted to come to the hospital left Jaeyoon stunned. Kangyoon knew their relationship had been distant, practically estranged, so Jaeyoon’s reaction wasn’t surprising. Recently, Jaeyoon had been in regular contact with his mother, who was trying to make an effort, but they still weren’t close. Kangyoon had told her not to come, uncertain how Jaeyoon would react in his current state.

Jaeyoon looked at his phone, feeling bewildered. His mother, who rarely answered his calls, had called him first…

“I’m curious now. What happened to me in these ten years?”

“There’s no need to rush. The doctor said your memories will return naturally.”