This work has NO-LOVE trope, containing potentially triggering themes (graphic sexual assault and violence), including coercive relationships, relationships with multiple partners, gaslighting, and Stockholm syndrome. Please practice discretion as you proceed.
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There have been many questions about the translated version, so to clarify, this is the uncensored, original version of the novel. The revised and censored version is still ongoing and serializing on its official site. Please follow the disclaimer, as it reflects the nature of the novel and what you can expect.
EMP Chapter 18
by mimiKwon Jiwook wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out, and his lips just twitched intermittently. The sensation of blood rushing through his body made him hold his breath.
“Hyung?”
Kwon Jiwook’s face paled, and his breathing became increasingly rough. Park Juyeon, noticing the change, stopped his conversation with Kim Suhyeok and turned around.
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Far away, there was a figure with a build that would draw attention just by standing up. It was a threatening face that Kwon Jiwook could never forget. Seeing that disgusting face and not recognizing it would be idiotic.
Lee Sangjin, dressed in a neat outfit that didn’t suit him, soon felt Kwon Jiwook’s gaze and met his eyes.
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As their eyes met, a wave of anger surged through Kwon Jiwook, darkening his vision. He had to beat the shit out of that bastard, no matter what. Even though he was now under Park Juyeon’s control, spending his days with his ass in the air, this had been Kwon Jiwook’s goal all along.
A surge of heat filled his previously empty body. Kwon Jiwook slammed his fist on the table and stood up, his vision narrowing so that he couldn’t see anyone around him. He clenched his fists, ready to pounce at any moment. His entire body trembled with tension, and his racing heart felt unpleasant.
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Lee Sangjin, with a smirk of contempt, slowly rose from his seat. His eyes turned malicious as he approached Kwon Jiwook. Kwon Jiwook’s breathing became more labored the closer Lee Sangjin got. His teeth gritted audibly.
“…”
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Park Juyeon, noticing Lee Sangjin approaching, smiled uncomfortably. He didn’t like this atmosphere—the tense, hostile air before a fight between arrogant bastards. He watched Lee Sangjin silently, but the real action was about to happen nearby.
Just as Kwon Jiwook was about to lunge and throw a punch, Park Juyeon spoke softly.
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“Hyung, sit down.”
“Park Juyeon, you…!”
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“I said sit down. You can’t even follow my words now that we’re outside.”
“…”
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Frustratingly, there was something in Park Juyeon’s words that Kwon Jiwook couldn’t defy. As if obedience was the only answer, Kwon Jiwook sat back down, trembling and glaring at both Lee Sangjin and Park Juyeon.
Fuck, fuck…Even trying to calm down, curses kept repeating in his mind. Could it be that Park Juyeon was talking to that bastard earlier? Right in front of me? What was his intention? Did he think I wouldn’t care?
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Park Juyeon shouldn’t have done that. If he remembered what he had done to Kwon Jiwook, he shouldn’t have talked to Lee Sangjin in front of him, and he shouldn’t have brought Kwon Jiwook here. His hand, resting on his knee, trembled helplessly.
Lee Sangjin, stopped by Park Juyeon, lost his reason to stand up. However, he didn’t return to his seat, so Park Juyeon asked him with a friendly smile.
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“Why? Do you have business here?”
For a moment, Lee Sangjin’s face filled with confusion. He had only heard of Park Juyeon but had never seen his face. Park Juyeon’s smile was unsettling to him. This one seemed even more delicious than the other.
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Lee Sangjin barely tore his gaze away from Park Juyeon’s face. Next to the still emotionally charged Kwon Jiwook was Kim Suhyeok, already trembling after assessing the situation. Kim Suhyeok’s face was even paler than when he had seen Park Juyeon.
“Suhyeok Hyung. Long time no see?”
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“…”
“I thought something happened since you weren’t answering DMs or anything, but you seem fine. Well, why are you so frozen?”
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“I, I, I need to use the bathroom. I suddenly feel like I’m going to throw up…ugh.”
Kim Suhyeok covered his mouth, genuinely feeling nauseous. Seeing them so calm in front of Kwon Jiwook made him feel sick. The uncomfortable faces made him unable to bear the guilt any longer.
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How can you both be so calm, talking like this in front of him? It was unbelievable. Kim Suhyeok grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s arm, tears in his eyes.
“Ji, Jiwook, let’s go together. Please? Will you come with me?”
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Even as Kim Suhyeok desperately clung to him, Kwon Jiwook was still consumed by anger, his face a mix of confusion and rage as he glared at the edge of the table. Park Juyeon, resting his chin on his hand, looked at Kwon Jiwook with a slight tilt of his head.
“Are you going?”
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“…”
“Why aren’t you answering? You need to tell me so I can give you permission.”
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Ignoring Lee Sangjin’s sticky gaze, Park Juyeon focused solely on Kwon Jiwook’s reaction. However, Kwon Jiwook remained motionless.
“You won’t try to escape by pretending to go to the bathroom.”
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“…Ha…”
Kwon Jiwook found the situation incredibly frustrating. The anger that had surged like boiling water finally subsided. As his mind calmed, it felt empty. The rare, clear emotion was too overwhelming, leaving him exhausted.
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I just want to smack that smug face over there, but why is everyone telling me what to do?
Kwon Jiwook, expressionless, replied to Kim Suhyeok instead of Park Juyeon.
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“If you need to go, go alone. Go throw up or whatever you need to do. I’m going to be busy.”
“Jiwook…”
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“Kim Suhyeok. You know that guy, right? He’s your junior.”
Kwon Jiwook’s anger hadn’t dissipated; it was still simmering. His red-rimmed eyes were filled with concentrated rage. He spoke, emphasizing each syllable.
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“I’m sorry if he’s your junior, but I have a score to settle with him. I don’t care about you right now, understand? Am I in your way? Should I move? If I get up, can you go alone?”
“No, I, I have something to tell you. Please come with me. It’ll just take a moment…”
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Kim Suhyeok was almost begging, his expression desperate. Kwon Jiwook had never seen him like this. He unconsciously gritted his teeth, feeling a sense of foreboding.
“…What’s so important that you need to tell me?”
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“I’ll tell you everything when we get there. I’ll tell you everything…”
As Kim Suhyeok pleaded tearfully, Park Juyeon suddenly froze, staring at Kim Suhyeok’s mouth. It wasn’t a special action, but a chill ran down his spine.
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…Something must have happened.
Kwon Jiwook couldn’t say anything in that situation. Inside, he wanted to follow Kim Suhyeok, or grab his collar and demand to know what was going on. Kwon Jiwook roughly brushed off Kim Suhyeok’s hand from his shoulder.
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“Ji, Jiwook…”
“If you say anything useless, you’re dead.”
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Kwon Jiwook prepared to stand up. The gaze of the burly man watching the situation was disgusting, but with Park Juyeon openly stopping the fight, there was nothing he could do.
And at that moment, Kwon Jiwook didn’t want to look at Park Juyeon. Lee Sangjin and Park Juyeon. The feeling of suspecting something between them and confirming it with his own eyes was very different.
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But Park Juyeon stopped Kwon Jiwook with an even more anxious expression.
“I said answer before you go.”
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“…”
Kwon Jiwook looked at Park Juyeon, who was holding him back with words. Why didn’t Park Juyeon understand? Why didn’t he realize that his suspicious attitude was shaking him even more?
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“I’ll be back. But I’m not running away. And, I really…can’t look at you right now. I’m sorry.”
“Hyung.”
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“I don’t care what you do to me. But please, just this once, look away. I’m begging you.”
He said he wouldn’t run away, but Kwon Jiwook stood up urgently, as if he were actually escaping. He roughly grabbed Kim Suhyeok’s collar, who was still trembling, and dragged him towards the bathroom without looking back.
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Clack.
Park Juyeon started to get up to follow them, but Lee Sangjin suddenly grabbed his arm. Park Juyeon’s eyes flared with anger as he turned to glare at Lee Sangjin with a fierce gaze. Lee Sangjin, not knowing his place, casually spoke up.
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“Let’s talk.”
“…”
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What an idiot with no sense. Park Juyeon unconsciously bit his lower lip, looking back and forth between the retreating figures of the two and Lee Sangjin’s face. He couldn’t understand why he was feeling so anxious.
***
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Bang!
“Ah!”
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A loud noise echoed as something collided. Kim Suhyeok, who had been forcefully pushed against the bathroom stall, grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s hand, which was gripping his collar.
“Th, this…let go, huff…”
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“Hey. What’s going on with you?”
Compared to Kwon Jiwook, Kim Suhyeok’s smaller frame was lifted high, his heels barely touching the ground, making it hard for him to breathe. Kwon Jiwook, undeterred by Kim Suhyeok’s struggle, growled threateningly.
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“What’s going on with you? Why are you saying that? Why are you making people anxious in front of those guys?”
“Ugh, ugh…huff…”
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Kwon Jiwook gripped Kim Suhyeok’s collar tighter, but no answer came. Kim Suhyeok couldn’t bring himself to speak, face to face with Kwon Jiwook. A mix of guilt and fear weighed heavily on his chest.
“You, don’t tell me…”
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Kwon Jiwook’s eyes widened.
He had a hunch but couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. Kim Suhyeok finally began to show tears. The hand gripping his collar trembled, as if it might lose its strength at any moment and let go. Let go of not just his body, but everything.
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“…Do you know?”
“Huaaah…”
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“…”
A chill ran down his spine. The ground beneath him seemed to give way, making him dizzy. Kwon Jiwook closed his eyes tightly, then finally let go of Kim Suhyeok’s collar. Kim Suhyeok’s body slid down the wall, crumpling to the dirty floor. He huddled there, terrified.
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Fuck. This is fucking awful.
There was no other way to describe it. Awful.
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He closed his eyes, trying to organize his thoughts, but it only made him feel more dizzy. Was it the alcohol, or the bright lights of the bathroom? It was too bright, making it hard to think. Ironically, even in the bright light, he felt like he was sinking into a deep quagmire.
Why did he feel so miserable? Why did he have to be so miserable?
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…He still had some pride left, it seemed. At least in front of Kim Suhyeok, he didn’t want to show any sign of defeat. He had believed he was superior, but that was long gone.
He had been the only one who didn’t know. Everyone around him already knew what he had been through, how he had been humiliated.
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“Tell me.”
“Wh, what do you want me to say…”
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“…Tell me what you heard, what the situation was, what you did. Tell me everything.”
Kim Suhyeok wasn’t used to Kwon Jiwook being so angry with him. Even if Kwon Jiwook looked down on him, he never threatened him like this. Kim Suhyeok’s voice trembled, fearing he might actually get hit.
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“Can I, can I really say it…?”
“Fuck, you said you would talk!!”
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Kwon Jiwook shouted in anger. Bang! He kicked the stall door, making Kim Suhyeok jump and look up at him with wide, tearful eyes. Kwon Jiwook’s eyes twitched at the sight. He found Kim Suhyeok’s gaze unsettling.
“…”
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“Hic…”
“…”
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In truth, what Kwon Jiwook felt most strongly at that moment was self-loathing. His disgust at Kim Suhyeok’s gaze was rooted in self-loathing.
He had always hated the idea of men having sex, yet there he was, covered in semen, with a cock in his gaping asshole. No matter how shameless he had been, the photo could change anyone’s perception of him. The person in the photo was him.
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And now, here he was, threatening Kim Suhyeok. Did it make him feel superior?
Realizing this, a sense of futility washed over him. He felt like nothing he did now would have any effect on Kim Suhyeok. He would feel the same way too. The guy who acted all tough in front, but behind the scenes, had been sexually repressed all along. He had given up even his most prized possession—his pride. It would be laughable.
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Kwon Jiwook staggered back, leaning against the wall opposite Kim Suhyeok.
After a long while, Kim Suhyeok finally calmed down enough to speak, sniffling. Kwon Jiwook lifted his gaze from the floor.
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“That time, hic, when I was drinking with Lee Sangjin and the others…”
“…”
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So that bastard’s name was Lee Sangjin. Everyone but Kwon Jiwook must have known that.
“Park Juyeon, he, hiccup, asked who I was with, and told me to send the contact information of the people I was with…”
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“And you sent it.”
“What was I supposed to do? That bastard said he would kill me if I didn’t send it. He threatened me, saying he would show me what would happen. What could I do…? I sent the contact information, and then you, your photos came…”
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Watching Kim Suhyeok tremble and spill his words, Kwon Jiwook felt a sense of detachment. Who or what was Kim Suhyeok afraid of? It seemed like Kwon Jiwook himself wasn’t part of that fear.
“I sent the contact information, and then those photos were sent to everyone. My vision went dark. I should have told you…”
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Kwon Jiwook hated it when people cried over trivial things, especially men. Kim Suhyeok knew this, so he tried to hold back his tears, but letting out his pent-up words was like releasing a flood of emotions. A surge of pity welled up in him. His tense lips trembled. Kim Suhyeok’s sobs echoed, feeling like they would linger.
“After that, hic, Park Juyeon received the video of you and that guy, and he sent it to me too…”
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“……You saw it.”
“…Ugh…”
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Kim Suhyeok closed his eyes tightly, nodding. His reddened face was streaked with tears. A hollow laugh escaped Kwon Jiwook. Why are you crying? I’m the one who wants to cry. He swallowed the weak words that rose to his throat.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
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“…Hic, hic…”
“Why didn’t you tell me, you bastard? I’m asking you.”
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Kim Suhyeok didn’t answer. Kwon Jiwook laughed as if he had lost his mind.
“Did you keep it a secret and watch it? Why are you silent?”
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“Huaaah…”
“Wow, I thought I was going to die that day. I thought my world was ending. But you saw that and didn’t think anything of it? Or…did you want to join in too?”
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Kwon Jiwook’s sharp words struck Kim Suhyeok like a blow. Startled, Kim Suhyeok quickly shook his head. His body trembled as if it might shatter. Perhaps he was shocked by Kwon Jiwook’s words. Kwon Jiwook was that deeply shaken.
“No, no! I was just worried about you. I, I was going to report it. I was, but…I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was too shocked and scared at the time…”
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“You’re not talking about reporting it.”
“…That…”
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“Why didn’t you tell me? That’s what I’m asking.”
His voice was weary. Kim Suhyeok looked up at Kwon Jiwook in disbelief. Seeing Kwon Jiwook so pale was a first for him. Everything felt like his fault.
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But wasn’t it? No matter how much he was at fault, his mistakes were nothing compared to Lee Sangjin’s or Park Juyeon’s. Kim Suhyeok raised his voice, sniffling.
“You, you…do you know why I couldn’t tell you? Because I was afraid you’d hit me. I was scared of you getting angry.
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“…”
“If I reported it, you would hate even the fact that those photos exist. That’s what Park Juyeon said too. He said you’d want to hide the fact that it happened. He was right! Think about how you usually act!”
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There was a hint of resentment in Kim Suhyeok’s voice. If what he said was true, it meant he had met with Park Juyeon after the incident. But even then, neither of them had given Kwon Jiwook any hint of it.
Kwon Jiwook pressed his forehead, feeling the heat. His palm was also hot, offering no relief. Dizzy and disoriented, Kim Suhyeok’s continuing voice was the only thing grounding him in reality.
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“But I wanted to help you, so I kept calling, but you didn’t answer…I’m not the only one at fault!”
“You’re…using that as an excuse.”
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“Hic…Why, it’s true! Kwon Jiwook, you always treat me like I’m nothing. You always look down on me. I know that. That’s why I always feel small. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. But why are you making it sound like it’s all my fault?
It had been building up, and finally, Kim Suhyeok shouted at Kwon Jiwook.
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“Why did you say nothing happened? Why? Why wouldn’t you let me apologize? Why wouldn’t you give me a chance to explain? Did I mean so little to you? What did you think of me?”
“…”
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“Even if others didn’t care, I wanted to apologize. If I had known something happened to you, I would have done anything to help! But you didn’t answer my calls, and you never said anything to me after that…Why are you being so cold to me, why…”
Kwon Jiwook couldn’t hide his desolate feelings. Where did it all go wrong? Wasn’t he the victim? But Park Juyeon and Kim Suhyeok both blamed his past self, making him feel like it was all his fault.
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“Ha…”
In the midst of it all, Kim Suhyeok’s tearful, pitying gaze only fueled Kwon Jiwook’s anger. The last remnants of his self-respect crumbled away. Receiving pity from Kim Suhyeok, of all people, was unbearable.
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Furious, Kwon Jiwook approached Kim Suhyeok again. He kicked him without hesitation, but Kim Suhyeok clung to his leg, desperate. However, Kwon Jiwook, now devoid of any restraint, kicked him off forcefully. Kim Suhyeok crumpled to the floor, sobbing.
Fuck, does this weakling really pity me? Even that was annoying. Kwon Jiwook roughly brushed back his hair.
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“Do you think I’m pathetic now? Why are you looking at me like that…!”
“Ji, Jiwook, stop this. Come out of there. Please? I’ll report it or something, just come out first. You’re being held by Park Juyeon, right? That’s why you ignored my calls, right! I’ll help you.”
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Kim Suhyeok grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s pants leg again, looking up at him with desperate, apologetic eyes.
“I saw it all. The marks on your arm and neck…Why are they still there…”
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“…”
“Please don’t pretend you don’t know. Please…don’t pretend you don’t know…”
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“…Let go, fuck…”
“I want you to say it’s not because of me…”
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Kim Suhyeok’s choked voice made Kwon Jiwook’s breath hitch. So this was the extent of Kim Suhyeok’s cunning. Kwon Jiwook gritted his teeth and kicked him away forcefully. This time, Kim Suhyeok was truly thrown off, clutching his chest and groaning.
“Were you always this clever?”
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“Hic, ugh…”
“Yeah, you’re right. Everything you thought is true. Park Juyeon is using me because of that, and I’m locked in a room, enduring all sorts of humiliations, barely keeping my sanity, not even thinking about my phone.
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Kim Suhyeok felt a wave of nausea, both from the blow to his chest and Kwon Jiwook’s words.
“But what can you do to help me?”
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“Ugh…”
Kim Suhyeok, trembling, half-rose and stumbled into the stall, leaning over the toilet bowl and retching. Kwon Jiwook watched him with a sneer.
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“Why? Does it make you sick to hear it? Disgusted?”
“No, no, I’m sorry, really…”
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“Hey, I was just starting to live again. You know? I was just trying to survive, constantly resisting, throwing away all my pride, living with a cock in my ass. Why did you have to interfere and ruin everything? Why?”
Kwon Jiwook grabbed Kim Suhyeok’s hair, forcing him to look up.
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“Suhyeok, forget Park Juyeon. Just seeing that big bastard makes my whole body shake with rage. I’m so fucking angry.”
“Ji, Jiwook…”
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“I didn’t want to say this, fuck. I really didn’t want to say this in front of you…”
“…”
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“Honestly, I’m scared. You know? I’m terrified that those two might conspire again, and this time, I might really die. You don’t understand.”
The moment Kwon Jiwook admitted his fear, his fierce expression crumbled, and he looked like he might cry.
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“But were you in on it too? Wow, fuck…So, if you hadn’t given Park Juyeon my contact info, none of this would have happened.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
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“Wow, I feel so fucked up right now, Suhyeok.”
Kwon Jiwook let go of Kim Suhyeok’s head. No matter how coerced he was, Kim Suhyeok had been an accomplice.
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“…”
Moreover, Kim Suhyeok’s persistent attempts to contact him were not out of genuine concern for his well-being, but out of guilt and a desire to make amends.
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The truth was, Park Juyeon was the one at fault.
“I…”
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“Huh, what?”
“It was me…”
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Kim Suhyeok’s eyes filled with tears again. He bit his lip, his face wet with tears, and looked down helplessly.
“No, I hate it. Come with me. If Park Juyeon is alone with you…”
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“Don’t you dare say his name again.”
“…”
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“…If you say his name one more time, I’ll kill you first.”
Kim Suhyeok struggled to stand, not even bothering to fix his disheveled appearance. His tearful gaze made Kwon Jiwook feel even more miserable.
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“…”
In an instant, Kwon Jiwook felt like everything he had built up had been swept away in a storm. He stood in front of the sink, looking at his reflection. He looked as miserable as Kim Suhyeok.
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The conversation had been quite loud, and the restroom, which should have been busy given the number of people in the bar, was eerily quiet. As expected, people started to trickle in, finally feeling safe to use the facilities.
If this was all Kim Suhyeok had to say, Kwon Jiwook had nothing more to hear. Still fierce and harsh, Kwon Jiwook ignored the others and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on his face.
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“…”
He splased water on his face several times, trying to cool down. It felt more like an excuse. He just wanted to wake up from this stupor, to escape this miserable situation. His hands trembled as the water flowed. Suddenly, he felt a pang of hunger. He had no idea what to say to Park Juyeon when he saw him.
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‘Did you…send the photos to Kim Suhyeok too?’
‘…No. I didn’t send them.’
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He should have caught Park Juyeon’s moment of hesitation, pressed him, and demanded the truth. Then he wouldn’t feel so miserable now. The fact that Park Juyeon had deceived him was the biggest thorn in his side. Kwon Jiwook had unknowingly come to rely on Park Juyeon, both physically and emotionally.
‘You’re being held by Park Juyeon, right? That’s why you ignored my calls! I’ll help you.’
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“…Falling for a mere threat. Fuck.”
Even repeating it now, it only made him laugh bitterly. How dare Kim Suhyeok, of all people, think he could help him? He had no power, no influence. All he could do was sigh deeply.
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His wet hair driped water onto his face. Even as his chaotic mind calmed, the future looked bleak. He had no idea what punishment Park Juyeon would inflict, or what his relationship with Kim Suhyeok would be like.
No one gave Kwon Jiwook any orders. They just watched, as they always had. But now, that freedom and power had become a source of chaos. Even if he had found the past two months peaceful, someone might think he was crazy.
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He had to go back to the table. But his feet wouldn’t move. Maybe it was better to wait here until Park Juyeon came to find him. He didn’t want to see him, but what choice did he have?
But then, a familiar yet unfamiliar voice echoed in the space.
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“Kwon Jiwook?”
Kwon Jiwook tensed the moment he heard the voice. What were the odds of this happening? Slowly, he raised his head and looked at the reflection in the mirror. Sure enough, a face from his past was walking in, looking as arrogant as ever.
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“…”
He should have expected it when he saw that rough crowd. Always causing trouble, always picking fights, that bastard hadn’t changed a bit. He had been so caught up in seeing Lee Sangjin that he hadn’t even considered that this asshole might be with them. Seeing him again after all these years, on this day of all days, made his already shitty mood plumet even further.
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Lee Woojin. From middle school to high school, they had always been at each other’s throats, more enemies than friends, always ready to fight. And now, meeting here, felt even more awkward and uncomfortable.
Kwon Jiwook kept his eyes on the reflection, silently drying his hands. Then he turned to face Lee Woojin directly. That arrogant stare, that hostile gaze, was unmistakable.
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In the past, they would have cursed each other out and started fighting immediately. But now, Kwon Jiwook was exhausted, and strangely, Lee Woojin just stood there, staring at him without saying a word. This was not the Lee Woojin Kwon Jiwook remembered. Puzzled, Kwon Jiwook looked Lee Woojin up and down.
“What do you want?”
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“Wow. I thought it might be, but it really is Kwon Jiwook. Hey, long time no see. You been doing well? You look like shit.”
Lee Woojin approached Kwon Jiwook, satisfied with his reaction. That arrogant smile was irritating, and Kwon Jiwook clenched his fist.
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“Why are there so many idiots today…”
“Hey, I just came to take a piss. Wow, shit. Calm down.”
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“Ha.”
Lee Woojin, you’ve changed. Kwon Jiwook clicked his tongue, annoyed. Even after all these years, seeing him again wasn’t pleasant. His ostentatious gold necklace and expensive clothes only added to the dislike. Who the hell wears something like that? But Kwon Jiwook lost interest and looked away from the clothes.
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Lee Woojin, still smiling, spoke in a tone that implied something.
“Want to see? The quality is fucking amazing.”
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“…”
It felt like the alcohol was finally hitting him. Kwon Jiwook’s complexion didn’t look good. He didn’t even deem Lee Woojin worthy of a response and turned away. The one who left first won.
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As Kwon Jiwook tried to walk away, Lee Woojin’s strange and eerie voice stopped him.
“Huh…Your reaction is weird. Didn’t you used to like this?”
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Kwon Jiwook paused, raising an eyebrow. Lee Woojin chuckled, sounding amused.
“Remember? You used to love fucking my little brother. Right? Kwon Jiwook has changed.”
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“…What…”
…Fuck.
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How far had it spread? Who all knew? Kwon Jiwook’s mind went blank. His head felt like it was about to explode. The shock was too much, too fast. He wasn’t one for thinking.
…Yeah, thinking isn’t my style or specialty. Should I just pass out?
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As Kwon Jiwook’s eyes grew fierce, Lee Woojin opened his mouth, grinning.
“I was so scared back then. Thought you might come after my family too. Huh? I told my little brother to be careful so many times.”
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“…A guy who beats up others for fun is saying this?”
“Typical Kwon Jiwook. Forgetting everything and only remembering what pissed you off. That’s so typical of you.”
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Lee Woojin had always known Kwon Jiwook’s temper. Smiling in satisfaction, he watched Kwon Jiwook, who couldn’t hold back his anger and lunged at him, punching him in the face. Before Lee Woojin could even react, Kwon Jiwook kicked him in the stomach, knocking him down. Thud, thud. Even as Lee Woojin curled up, Kwon Jiwook straddled him, sitting on his chest and punching him again and again. Lee Woojin gritted his teeth, trying to hold back a groan. If someone was going to be in a shitty mood, it wasn’t going to be Kwon Jiwook.
“Is that fucking place the only thing you can think of? Huh? You and your fucking brother, who do you think you are, picking fights…”
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“Huff…ugh!”
“You can’t even fight properly, you fucking…!!”
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Lee Woojin approached Kwon Jiwook, his face now a bloody mess. Kwon Jiwook had beaten him mercilessly, remembering how Lee Woojin used to be full of arrogance and contempt. That was all he was, and seeing him again was just as unpleasant. Lee Woojin’s body, crumpled and weak, added to the satisfaction. The blood from his mouth and nose stained Kwon Jiwook’s hands.
Kwon Jiwook grabbed Lee Woojin’s collar, feeling his struggle to stand. Lee Woojin coughed up blood mixed with saliva, his eyes meeting Kwon Jiwook’s.
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Lee Woojin’s expression was a mocking smile. Kwon Jiwook’s fist paused at the sight of that disgusting, blood-stained grin. As Kwon Jiwook raised his fist again, Lee Woojin muttered something.
“…Be careful, you.”
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The sound of blood gurgling in his throat was disgusting. Kwon Jiwook’s grip on Lee Woojin’s collar tightened.
“Fucking…live quietly. Don’t act up…”
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“…Be careful, you.”
Kwon Jiwook’s eyes widened at Lee Woojin’s calm demeanor despite the beating. He shoved Lee Woojin away, who fell to the floor, coughing up more blood. Lee Woojin struggled to stand, brushing off his expensive, blood-stained clothes as if nothing had happened. The nonchalance infuriated Kwon Jiwook even more.
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“You always act like this? Having sex once and then looking down on people? Why can’t you just leave people alone?!”
“What are you talking about, Jiwook? You were the one who did that. You always treated people like that. Don’t you remember?”
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Lee Woojin sat on the floor, catching his breath, then stood up, grinning. He looked at Kwon Jiwook with a mix of pity and amusement.
“Since you don’t seem to remember, let me remind you…Ah, I saw your face and fought with you, so I’m telling you out of kindness. So listen carefully, idiot.”
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“…”
His calm expression and blood-stained face were chilling.
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“Don’t do anything stupid. Not now, not ever.”
“What the hell is this…”
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Kwon Jiwook’s eyes widened in disbelief, expecting some profound threat, but all Lee Woojin said was to do nothing. For a moment, disappointment flashed in Kwon Jiwook’s eyes, but Lee Woojin remained calm.
“I have my debts and things to repay, so I’m quietly staying by Park Juyeon’s side.”
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Park Juyeon. The name sounded out of place coming from Lee Woojin. Kwon Jiwook stared at him, unblinking.
“So you should live quietly too. Don’t think about running away.”
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“…How do you know Park Juyeon?”
“Wow. Juyeon still hasn’t told you anything? That guy is quite something.”
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Lee Woojin shrugged, tilting his head. He was curious about Park Juyeon too. Kwon Jiwook’s body, trembling with memories, was pitiful to watch. Lee Woojin splashed water on his face, looking at his reflection. Damn, my handsome face is all messed up. He thought, looking at Kwon Jiwook in the mirror.
After high school, while Kwon Jiwook lived a reckless life, Lee Woojin joined the military due to a foolish choice. It was a place he had admired, but he ended up at the bottom, collecting all the bad luck and doing whatever he was told. He got beaten a lot and did many dirty jobs.
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So even if Kwon Jiwook beat him up, it was understandable. But this poor guy still didn’t seem to realize it. Lee Woojin looked at his swollen face in the mirror and then at Kwon Jiwook.
“This isn’t the place for us to fight.”
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“Speak quickly. How do you know Park Juyeon?”
“Sorry, but I really came here to take a piss. Since Park Juyeon hasn’t told you directly, I don’t have the right to say anything.”
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“…”
“Huh? Even if you look at me like that, there’s nothing I can do….Ouch…It looks like I’m going to bruise badly. Won’t Juyeon get mad at you if you keep acting like this?”
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Kwon Jiwook didn’t like that smirking face. It was nauseating, reminding him of Lee Sangjin. The similarity in their laughter was unsettling, especially the meaning behind that smile. It was a look Kwon Jiwook had become all too familiar with—a mix of desire and contempt.
Kwon Jiwook felt a pang of pity seeing Lee Woojin’s calm demeanor despite the beating. He bit his lip, finding Lee Woojin’s gaze unsettling. This moment called for escape.
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As Kwon Jiwook tried to walk away, he was suddenly pulled back. A familiar hand gripped his hair, pulling him back. It was abrupt.
“Before that…there are other things to consider. Or…”
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“…You bastard…!”
Lee Woojin used his other hand to grab Kwon Jiwook’s t-shirt, slowly pushing his fist into his abdomen. The blunt fist pressed against his solar plexus, pushing in deeply and painfully.
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“I can also make your insides feel good. How about it?”
Thud. The sound of his heart sinking was heard. His body, defying his will, began to tremble slightly. Kwon Jiwook gritted his teeth and turned his stiff neck towards Lee Woojin. Suddenly, his eyes flared with anger.
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“This…bastard…!”
Kwon Jiwook, who had been trembling with pity, tried to punch Lee Woojin again, but a cold voice intervened.
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“The one who needs to be scared is not Hyung, but someone else. What is it?”
“…You came too late.”
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“Ah!”
Park Juyeon roughly pushed Lee Woojin away, who had been nonchalantly pushing Kwon Jiwook. Looking up and down at Park Juyeon, there seemed to be a hint of resentment in his gaze. Why did he interfere and push him away? He seemed to be asking.
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Strangely, there was nothing unusual about Park Juyeon being there. After staring at Kwon Jiwook for a while, Park Juyeon finally spoke.
“Don’t say unnecessary things. I’ll take care of it.”
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“Why are you talking nonsense? Since when were you here?”
“Since I hit Hyung.”
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“You only call Kwon Jiwook Hyung, you bastard.”
“…”
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Park Juyeon looked at Lee Woojin silently. Receiving Park Juyeon’s piercing gaze was difficult for anyone. Lee Woojin clicked his tongue.
“…Well, I should go now.”
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Lee Woojin, perhaps out of habit or something else, sighed and walked away, standing in front of the urinal to relieve himself.
The sound of urine splashing was unpleasant background noise. Being in the same space as Park Juyeon was uncomfortable. Park Juyeon suddenly grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s chin, startling him. He naturally turned his head away, his wet hair flicking droplets. He seemed to be checking for something suspicious.
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“…”
“…”
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There was no change in Kwon Jiwook’s expression. Only a hardened, unreadable look remained. Park Juyeon sighed.
Lee Woojin, who had seen everything, playfully patted Park Juyeon’s shoulder with his wet hand. Park Juyeon ignored him completely. To anyone watching, they seemed like complete strangers.
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“I’ll go first.”
Park Juyeon quickly left the restroom, acting as if nothing had happened. Kim Suhyeok was casually drinking, not noticing anything. Kwon Jiwook couldn’t even glance around. His legs felt heavy, and his steps were slow.
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Kwon Jiwook’s body, pulled by Park Juyeon, bumped into people and tables, but he showed no reaction. Suddenly, the bustling street felt empty. The air was thin. Park Juyeon, who had deceived him, grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s shoulders and made him look directly into his eyes.
“What did you hear?”
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“…I heard too many strange things to make sense of it.”
Kwon Jiwook kept avoiding Park Juyeon’s gaze. He couldn’t help it. It was a learned response. Even knowing that Park Juyeon had caused him the most pain, he found it hard to resist, especially when they were alone.
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“…Then just pretend you didn’t hear it.”
He should have never brought him out. He should have ignored his request to go out. This half-hearted sympathy led to this mess. If his hatred could be diluted by just a couple of months together, he shouldn’t have started it in the first place. Park Juyeon was deeply disappointed in himself because of this incident.
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Kwon Jiwook looked straight at Park Juyeon after hearing his resolute and absurd words. For a brief moment, hostility flashed in Kwon Jiwook’s eyes. Pretend he didn’t hear it?
“Is that something you can say so easily? What about Kim Suhyeok?”
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“He has to stay there. He’s the captain, after all.”
“But he left the bathroom like that…”
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Even though he had told him to leave, thinking about Kim Suhyeok being with those unpleasant people made him uneasy. Of course, contrary to his expectations, Kim Suhyeok might have gone straight outside to get some air instead of sitting at the table.
“…”
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Kwon Jiwook let out a thin sigh. Park Juyeon still had a firm grip on Kwon Jiwook’s shoulder.
“What are you unhappy about?”
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“…Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
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Park Juyeon scoffed. Setting aside his pale face, the change in his attitude before and after talking to Kim Suhyeok was the first thing that caught his eye. He looked like he would collapse at the slightest touch, as if he had received a great shock. Yet, he was still pretending.
“You look like you’re about to collapse, so what do you mean nothing? Listen carefully to what I’m saying.”
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“…”
“No matter what that Sunbae says, has anything changed now? No. What Hyung heard is not important.”
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Park Juyeon thought he knew why Kwon Jiwook was hurt. He always thought Kwon Jiwook would be beneath Kim Suhyeok, but it turned out Kim Suhyeok knew Kwon Jiwook’s secrets and might have done something with those photos, making him feel ashamed and unbearable. Park Juyeon silently waited for Kwon Jiwook’s answer, but it wasn’t what he expected.
“Then why did you lie?”
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“What?”
“If Kim Suhyeok wasn’t involved, you should have said from the beginning that you sent the photos. Why did you have to make me hear it from his mouth?”
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Kwon Jiwook felt that the most painful thing among his confusion was the fact that Park Juyeon had lied to him. Had he really been locked up all this time to apologize and seek Park Juyeon’s forgiveness? Was it really to repent for past mistakes he didn’t even know about?
Doubt began to grow within Kwon Jiwook, who had believed Park Juyeon’s words unquestioningly.
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“You should have just said it then. Admit that you sent the photos. Then…I don’t know what I would have done, but it would have been better than hearing it from him now. Why did you have to make me feel this miserable?”
“Hyung.”
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“If I did something wrong, you should have just taken me home and beaten me up or whatever. I accept everything. But…why did you have to make me feel this miserable?”
Ironically, the only person Kwon Jiwook could confide in was Park Juyeon, the cause of all his problems and his only conversation partner. The corners of Kwon Jiwook’s mouth twisted into a bitter smile. Today, he felt he had overstepped his bounds.
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“Was that what you wanted? Is that why you brought me out like this? I…I didn’t know. You must have enjoyed torturing me with hope. Was it fun?”
“That wasn’t my intention. I was just flustered and said that. I had no intention of deceiving you. I’m sorry for lying. But…”
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Park Juyeon swallowed hard.
“You were the one who treated Suhyeok Sunbae differently from others. You did it yourself. Why are you blaming me for making you feel miserable when you were the one who gave him meaning?”
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Under the streetlight, Kwon Jiwook’s eyelids trembled as he looked up at Park Juyeon.
“If it had been someone else, Hyung wouldn’t have reacted like this, right?…Right? Even if I had intended to deceive you, what does it matter now? Nothing changes here.”
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“…Park Juyeon.”
Was Kim Suhyeok such a special existence to him? Special enough that even a small lie couldn’t be forgiven? The hand gripping Kwon Jiwook’s shoulder tightened. Kwon Jiwook grimaced and struggled.
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“Ugh, what…do you mean it doesn’t matter? Are you seriously asking that?”
“…”
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“I feel so betrayed. I don’t know why, but it really hurts. Don’t you understand what that means?”
Danger signals blared in his mind. He knew he shouldn’t say any more.
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“I can’t trust you anymore. I found out you lied, and now I can’t believe anything you’ve said. I can’t trust you.”
“What?”
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“How can I believe whether I really did something wrong or not? Even that could be a lie…”
Park Juyeon’s expression gradually twisted. Kwon Jiwook didn’t get angry or hit him. However, it was clear that Kwon Jiwook was also very excited. Park Juyeon also did not hide his increasingly harsh expression.
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The intense gaze of Park Juyeon staring at him was piercing. He could see Park Juyeon suppressing his anger. However, if not now, he might never have the chance to speak.
“Earlier, that guy…Lee Sangjin, what was he doing there? Was that all your plan? I said I wouldn’t run away. I made a promise and came out. So why did you do that? Why was he in front of me? Did you want to pressure me?”
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Kwon Jiwook, with fierce eyes, spoke quickly and eventually clenched his teeth. He was furious. Damn it, why is he pushing me like this? Park Juyeon grew tired of Kwon Jiwook’s agitation.
“Speak quietly. Be nice.”
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“That’s…!”
“Speak slowly. You know I can understand you. Am I your Hyung? Am I a dog?”
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Park Juyeon had a more delicate face than Kim Suhyeok and a smaller build than Lee Woojin. Yet, his humiliating words made Kwon Jiwook’s body freeze. Park Juyeon removed his hand from Kwon Jiwook’s shoulder, which he had been holding until then. One hand moved towards Kwon Jiwook’s head.
“Lee Sangjin really has nothing to do with me, and I saw his face for the first time today.”
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“Ha.”
That was the most unbelievable thing Park Juyeon had said so far. Kwon Jiwook couldn’t help but let out a disbelieving laugh.
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“That makes no sense…!”
Slap!
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Park Juyeon’s hand, which had reached Kwon Jiwook’s face, struck his left cheek without hesitation. His breath stopped for a moment, and his vision spun. When he came to his senses, he found himself a few steps back from where he had been standing. Park Juyeon had hit him with that much force. The struck area immediately felt hot.
“…”
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He had been hit with fists before, but this was the first time he had been slapped so openly with a palm. How should he interpret this? Kwon Jiwook blinked rapidly. He touched his burning cheek, feeling it swell instantly. Suddenly, his chest felt torn apart. Shame and humiliation overwhelmed him.
“Park, Park Juyeon. You…”
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Park Juyeon approached Kwon Jiwook, who had barely regained his balance. Kwon Jiwook stared blankly at Park Juyeon, still in shock. Park Juyeon quickly grabbed Kwon Jiwook as he tried to run away and muttered fiercely.
“You’re talking too much today. Be quiet.”
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“Ah…!”
“And you’re trying to run away. Did Kim Suhyeok take drugs? Why are you like this?”
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Park Juyeon instinctively subdued the struggling Kwon Jiwook and dragged him to a nearby empty lot. It was a dark and eerie place where the streetlights were broken, and you couldn’t see an inch ahead. Park Juyeon threw Kwon Jiwook into a corner of the lot.
“…!…!!”
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Kwon Jiwook, who had fallen badly, hit his kneecap hard on a large rock. His vision flashed white. The pain was so intense that his jaw trembled. Kwon Jiwook gasped and tried to suppress his groans. The pain was so sharp that it refused to subside, and he curled up, pressing his forehead against his arm.
Still, Park Juyeon grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s hair and pulled him up without hesitation. As Kwon Jiwook’s body kept slumping, an annoyed Park Juyeon crouched down and grabbed his neck. Naturally, Kwon Jiwook’s chin lifted, and Park Juyeon slapped his face several times. There was no time for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Kwon Jiwook tensed up, closing his eyes tightly, anticipating more slaps. Eventually, the intensity increased, and each slap sounded like it would tear his skin. Soon, his entire face felt like it was on fire, as if it had been torn apart. The pain was so intense that tears streamed down his face. His eyes and cheeks swelled so much that they looked disfigured.
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“Why are you like this today? Did I let you off too easily? When did you become so bold to talk about lies?”
“Ugh…”
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“Anyway, you’re too noisy today…Kneel down.”
“Ah, it hurts, my knee, it hurts…Ah!”
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As soon as Kwon Jiwook tried to respond, another fierce slap came from the darkness. It really hurts. It really hurts…Kwon Jiwook had no choice but to pretend to kneel, putting all his weight on one leg. As his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, he could see Park Juyeon’s faint figure moving in front of him. Park Juyeon was unbuckling his pants.
Park Juyeon’s voice was eerily calm. The usual subtle desire and expectation in his low tone were nowhere to be found. Even his cock, which he forced into Kwon Jiwook’s mouth, wasn’t fully erect. As Kwon Jiwook struggled to take the flaccid flesh into his mouth, he let out a crying sound. His torn lips stung painfully.
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“Suck it well and make it hard. You need to keep this in your mouth to shut up.”
“Ugh, ugh, ugh…”
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Even in the darkness, Park Juyeon could clearly hear Kwon Jiwook’s sobbing. Usually, this sound would fuel his desire for conquest, but today it only annoyed him. It wasn’t just pain; the crying was filled with various sorrows.
Every time the half-erect penis moved deep into his mouth, Kwon Jiwook felt a wave of nausea. He forced his lips together to strongly stimulate the glans, trying to arouse it. But it was only for a moment. Actions that he would have eagerly performed to earn Park Juyeon’s praise now felt impossible due to his listlessness.
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Park Juyeon grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s head with both hands and started thrusting forcefully. His head was shaken violently, making his vision blur and his mind feel disoriented. Amidst the chaos, the not fully erect penis filled his mouth, making it hard to breathe. His nose was blocked from crying, making breathing even more difficult. Whenever Park Juyeon pushed it all the way in and didn’t let go, it felt like he was going to die.
“…!!…Ugh…”
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Kwon Jiwook’s eyelids fluttered. He struggled to escape, pressing against Park Juyeon’s knees and thighs, but it was useless. His body twisted, and his knee, pressing against the ground, hurt even more.
“Damn it…Even like this, you’re still noisy.”
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Kwon Jiwook cried pitifully. His breathing was labored, and his occasional gasps for air were heart-wrenching. Finally, Park Juyeon irritably pushed Kwon Jiwook’s head away. Kwon Jiwook’s indecisive actions had cooled whatever heat there was.
“…Pant, ugh…”
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“Ha…”
“Uh, huh…”
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“You can’t do anything right, and now you’re useless because of that one guy…”
Park Juyeon’s annoyed words made Kwon Jiwook clutch the ground, his head hanging low. Park Juyeon’s words seemed to imply that the only thing Kwon Jiwook was good for was taking his cock. The thought made tears well up uncontrollably. Hearing Park Juyeon’s cold voice made him feel endlessly sad.
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Park Juyeon wrapped his saliva-covered shaft and quickly moved his hand up and down to fully erect his penis. After that, he didn’t use Kwon Jiwook’s mouth again.
“…Ah, ah…Ugh…huh…!”
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The sound of wet flesh slapping against his palm grew faster. Despite Kwon Jiwook’s continuous crying, Park Juyeon tilted his head back, nearing climax. Fuck, what’s so sad? What did I do so wrong? Amidst his complex thoughts, the approaching orgasm wasn’t welcome, but he still needed to feel the release, so he grabbed Kwon Jiwook’s hair and lifted his head.
Park Juyeon’s cock entered Kwon Jiwook’s mouth without hesitation, pushing deep into his throat. His torn lips felt like they were tearing even more. The penis, pushed in so deep that his teeth ached, was fully felt.
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“Ugh, gag…!”
“Ha, ah…! Ugh, huh…!”
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It felt like he was going to throw up. Kwon Jiwook widened his eyes and grabbed Park Juyeon’s leg. Soon, Park Juyeon ejaculated thick semen directly into his throat, giving him no chance to spit it out. If Kwon Jiwook tried to move his head, Park Juyeon held it firmly.
It was an act no different from usual. But…Kwon Jiwook felt miserable. He began to question his situation. Could he trust Park Juyeon? Was the sick person real? Was the hospital visit a lie too?
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Kwon Jiwook’s narrowed eyes continued to shed tears. His wet cheeks stung. The semen in his throat left a bitter taste, making it impossible to speak. The outing, which he had hoped would be a change of mood, only left him with emotional scars.