PT | Chapter 4.4

In his previous life, Aubrey had learned quite a bit about the great sin, a being who had committed tremendous deeds, but since it was such an enormous entity, records about it weren’t openly available, so he still felt lacking. The real reason Aubrey had enrolled in the academy was in hopes that perhaps the academy’s library might contain hard-to-find materials from outside. But even that was ruined when Lennock followed him and enrolled.

Lennock, who could catch people’s attention just by standing still, periodically caused trouble, and just because they were nominally brothers, Aubrey had to clean up after him.

“It’s just a mess, whether it’s men or women.”

Yes, just like with Miss Madeleine’s situation, too many people, regardless of gender, got tangled up with Lennock. He didn’t want to care about the problems that caused, but whenever something happened to Lennock, everyone seemed to rush to Aubrey as if they had agreed to it. By the time he realized it, Aubrey was already handling all the aftermath related to Lennock.

“I should have stopped that guy from enrolling at the academy from the start…….”

Regretting that he should have avoided entanglement with him altogether, Aubrey sighed.

“Did I mess up this return too?”

Deciding when something didn’t feel right was one way to handle it.

Pretending to appease his father’s whims until he could make a clean break was another way. But the time and effort it would take felt too precious to waste. No. It had become unbearably detestable.

Aubrey looked at the window barred with iron.

He knew well how to start anew. If he died, everything would end, and he would return to being seven years old. Apart from the major events, the rest would subtly change based on Aubrey’s choices and actions. Maybe this time he’d pretend to be a good, obedient son, letting his father drop his guard, and then run away in the middle. He could spend about ten years doing everything he wanted and then just die.

But there was one thing bothering him.

“I don’t even know what I want to do.”

He had been struggling just because he didn’t want to die.

How could he avoid burning to death? Or could he somehow ensure his safety even if everyone else burned? He had pondered this, but it had always ended with him burning to death.

Aubrey scratched his chin and murmured.

“Well, at least I caused a lot of trouble before I burned to death last time.”

That had been the case in the early stages of his returns.

At that time, he had abused Lennock as much as Gray had. It was all in the past, and since a new life started with each return, he didn’t need to think too hard about it.

“Let’s not think about unnecessary things.”

Aubrey muttered to himself and quickly shook his head.

As he slightly turned his head to the side, a sharp pain shot through the middle of his back. The pain spread from his shoulder to his neck, causing him to groan and hunch over in a moment of agony, just as the door opened. Thinking it was Danvers returning, Aubrey turned to see Lennock standing behind the open door and grimaced.

“Why are you there?”

“…….”

The unexpected appearance naturally stiffened Aubrey’s expression, as if he was facing someone who shouldn’t have come here. Lennock’s face also tensed up.

Without a word, Lennock threw something forward. The small pouch that arced through the air fell at Aubrey’s feet.

“Ah, damn it. What’s this—.”

Perhaps because he knew Lennock would awaken as a great sin, even knowing it wasn’t the right time, the sudden toss startled him. Visibly flinching, Aubrey hastily tried to dodge, but the pain shooting up his back stopped his movement, and he reached back with his hand.

Afraid to touch it lest it hurt more, he clenched his eyes shut, swallowing a groan, then checked the ground again. It looked like a pouch containing medicine. Having been so startled by such a trivial thing probably looked ridiculous to Lennock.

Feeling his pride was trampled, Aubrey raised his voice.

“Are you done watching?! Just buzz off and stop loitering around here!”

His body was in bad shape, making him even more irritable than usual. Thus, his responses were sharper, but it couldn’t be helped.

Why did he come here at this time? Whether I’m in a good mood or not, I always dislike seeing you.

Though he couldn’t bring himself to say that, Aubrey awkwardly turned his body around. By the time he turned back towards the bed, Lennock had disappeared, and the door was closed.

“If you’re going to let everyone come and go as they please, why bother keeping me here?”

Wasn’t the point to keep him here quietly so he could reflect?

Aubrey lowered his gaze. The pouch Lennock had casually left behind was bothering him. He could ignore it, but if someone came in and saw it and asked what it was, what then?

Aubrey clicked his tongue and walked over to the pouch. Each step made his back throb, and no good sounds came out.

“As if it’s not hard enough already, making people suffer.”

Grumbling, Aubrey picked up the pouch and opened it.

Inside were green pills commonly used as painkillers and anti-inflammatories. Just because they were commonly used didn’t mean they were cheap.

With this amount, it probably cost as much as an ordinary person’s monthly salary.

“Still a student and where does he get the money…….”

Normally, the steward would take care of this. If he thought I’d be grateful just because he threw this at me, he’s sorely mistaken, Aubrey thought as he glanced at the closed door.

……Maybe I shouldn’t have cursed.

“No, why am I even worrying about this?”

Now wasn’t the time to worry about such things.

It seemed father was intent on breaking his spirit before he graduated. Maybe he should just play along and pretend to be obedient for now. But such a sharp man wouldn’t fail to notice such a ruse.

While pondering various strategies, Aubrey took out a pill and put it in his mouth. He picked up the teapot from the bedside table, put the spout to his lips, and drank some water. After swallowing the pill, Aubrey reconsidered his thoughts. Indeed, he shouldn’t have cursed.

***

Summoned by his father’s abrupt call, Aubrey had come to the marquis’ estate, but he was only permitted to leave for four days. He felt he needed to resolve things with his father somehow and return to the academy before that.

Despite appearing carefree, Aubrey had been managing his grades well. He didn’t want to ruin that for reasons like this. He didn’t want third-party interference in things he could manage and maintain himself.

Caught up in these thoughts, Aubrey’s mood became particularly sour, compounded by his physical discomfort.

Just when he felt like he might explode if anyone provoked him, the butler informed him.

“Young master, a friend of yours has come to visit.”

“…….”

The expression on the butler’s face, showing up on the second day after Aubrey had been whipped, was hardened.

Whether it was painful for him to look directly at Aubrey after he’d been punished by the marquis with whipping, or whether he was acting subdued because the marquis had scolded him for being too lenient with Aubrey, was unclear. But either way, Aubrey didn’t care.

Aubrey had to lie face down on the bed due to the pain in his back. The unusual posture he had to maintain made his whole body creak. His body was in bad shape, so naturally, his temper was short. He had become irritable enough to sand someone down if touched.

“Since when do I have friends?”

His retort implied he didn’t foster such relationships, to which the butler murmured with a sigh.

“They said they shared a room with you during your underclassman years at the academy. A person named Amon……”

“Amon? Why would he come?”

Hearing the name, Aubrey recognized him as someone he might actually call a friend. But puzzled about why he would visit, Aubrey abruptly tried to get up, only to cry out from the pain that shot up his neck.

“Young master, what’s wrong? Are you alright?”

Startled by Aubrey’s attempt to get up and then clutching his neck, the butler hurried over. Confused by the butler’s fumbling actions, Aubrey raised his other hand.

“No, it’s alright.”

He tried to adjust his posture as if to prove it, but his neck still pulled painfully. “It’s a crick,” he thought. Frustrated by the timing of this inconvenience, Aubrey grimaced at the butler.

“Can you tell me what Amon is here for?”

If it wasn’t anything important, he felt like he should just stay put and deal with his crick.

Seeming to catch what Aubrey was thinking, the butler shook his head.

“Even if you’re feeling a bit unwell, please go downstairs and meet the guest. It could also show the marquis a good side of you. Otherwise, you might have to stay in the attic for quite a while.”

“…….”

It was the marquis who had whipped his back raw, and now he was supposed to make a good impression on such a father. But Aubrey had been pondering this already. Although servants tended to his wounds morning and night, changing his bandages, the slow recovery suggested they weren’t using the best medicine, probably hoping he’d exhaust himself and give in.

Aubrey sighed deeply, feeling the butler’s gaze still fixed on his face.

“Fine. I get it. I’ll go and apologize first thing, depending on the mood.”

“You must. Otherwise, you might end up spending your whole life here, not just missing your graduation.”

“…….”

He didn’t question the ominous statement. The butler knew the marquis’ character as well as Aubrey did, and in a past life, the marquis had even committed Aubrey to a psychiatric ward. The attic was just a step before the psychiatric ward.

He couldn’t allow himself to be deprived of his freedom now.

“Alright, I got it,” Aubrey replied nonchalantly as he moved his body.