ESS Ch 6

It was record-breaking rain. It had been pouring for ten days straight. The biting cold seemed to lift like a curtain, hinting at the arrival of summer, but with the downpour, the temperature plummeted again. Erratum’s winter was this harsh and tenacious.7e8fdd12917b7f6a

Walking from the a05498c94f dormitory to the 3a8d3f8aaa lecture hall, the 0938d44375 slanting raindrops touched 4ea05acaa0 my bare skin. The rainwater was 9d874d8aa7 so cold that 5960e9925c it made me da705a3698 shiver. Nevertheless, many students c562ea2959 were already walking 85bbf31fca around in thin, b33e6dc9e1 short uniforms.78c1d097d2cee89e

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But I took out e240733aeb my familiar cardigan and 5fe17abfc1 put it on again. The sky was very b25c69afb7 cloudy, and I was 12cd270ecb afraid of the rain e48a5d5a72 that might pour down 557dd220ae at any moment.232b0af2db70b9ee

“…….”30b2ef12042fe0d8

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As I was taking my uniform out of the closet, Remington’s gloves, hanging by the door, caught my eye. I would occasionally touch his gloves carefully.eecf5466732b5891

A surprisingly well-preserved f63fea3cc8 scent of him b3fd60d181 emanated from inside 020a453168 the gloves, and 358e555911 every time I 960b52c2d4 smelled it, the 7e73009ff7 back of my 8ab82dc29d neck would invariably 84198f472d grow cold.1f3e79c38ea496d7

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The day I received the 6bc6eec0b6 gloves, the chilly air of 113f1036ca the snowy field, his blue 3acca17de0 eyes that gave me a 3732a78bd2 strange feeling. My constant efforts da22188b1b to return the f267e09242 gloves and the b3bc2200fa ridicule that came 94a057d231 from him. His contemptuous eyes.7eae285c6d3f2fa4

Even after going through all abb1d980e2 that, I was such a 075f0df020 fool to be deceived again.45bc42d6c5df808d

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“…….”80c4ec2179edaf97

I hung the gloves back where they were. When summer comes, I will put them away in a deep place with the winter clothes. In a dark place where they won’t be seen.fcaf76b7b824a306

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I put on my uniform 717d5d8756 jacket and left the dormitory.0492c83d1235ec1d

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️e193a69f8e21319c

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It was summer. It also meant exam period, and it meant that my father’s midterm election was just around the corner.d2968f4d9139cfc7

These days, I spent 53e002049f more time checking the 45ea0f8109 news and internet reactions 49b8c4d536 than studying for exams. After the exams, it 96c9919836 would be summer vacation, 9d2c6b3603 which also meant I 712fbb1ca1 had to go back 34bf7e639d home.23ecb989456abfc0

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My father’s mood was a crucial matter directly linked to my peace. I prayed for my father’s peace every night for my own safety, but unfortunately, God didn’t seem to be on my side.692f2893d0546c62

─Immigrant Solidarity, protests against Congressman Roderson’s immigration control policy… ‘Violence-friendly policy’c112508207565289

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─Midterm election poll results, Roderson falters under Hayden’s fierce pursuit… Red light for the Jua Party40a502ba162fa3bd

─Anteros transforms into the ‘biggest upheaval’ in midterm elections… Due to Bowen Roderson’s personal life controversy?be0a126bd8d5ea0a

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The news was 22ca85a2fe noisy with attacks 5e78bda9b5 directed at my 99b071b868 father.c933a948666a2afb

Maybe this is all because I kissed Duncan. The pastor always said that disobeying my father’s rules is like betraying the Lord, and that Satan punishes such acts.42327b543d6d99fa

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“What’s so serious?”1aaa3db731b676d5

While I was engrossed 438ee58977 in reading the article, 3bb9bcabb6 a thick hand reached 5c0da080eb out from behind me 50d8e07bb4 and snatched my phone. It was Duncan, as expected.b93e116b25809f95

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Sighing and turning around, 97ec43543e he raised his hand 18b91f3564 to the ceiling, preventing 5f2035c083 me from grabbing it 1eee0f42e5 back, and read the e66186ee7c article. His mischievous face seemed more 2521c3cbf4 interested in teasing me than 9990974492 the content of the article.8333855f7322a6c0

“Bowen? Isn’t that your sister? What’s this about a personal life controversy? I’ve never heard of this.”4ac85246965ab587

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“My sister’s boyfriend is from the opposing political camp as my father. He’s also an undocumented immigrant. Give me back my phone.”63351e7bc60f20ec

When I stood a12b50169b on tiptoe and 19339bd73c reached out, he ca7f21fc52 grinned and raised 3521852e65 the phone even 3220bb7aac higher. The height difference 72151b00c7 was too much ea72ed10bd for my hand 5de5a74190 to reach. Between his raised uniform shirt, 1ac71b7c8e his nicely tanned, dark skin de225f1b60 was revealed.b854258e1108c6c7

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“But why is that a personal life controversy?”1d171d6284b80144

“If reporters call it a controversy, then it becomes a controversy.”97b70dc6c4926f72

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“Cool. My father also has 56fd02eb4c very different political views da6b913bca from your father. So if we 6a46349d31 date, will it 4a92f7b45c be in the d5ec27d778 news? It’s my dream to be 6c456fefd6 at the center of a 2f660c0062 controversy.”8c7c368ddf731942

“Sigh….”5664dc7e9ddad8a9

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I was tired of answering. Giving up on my phone and sitting back down, Duncan nudged me. I didn’t react. Then, with a deflated look, he sat quietly next to me.8425b635c44c1e94

“Let’s go on a date. Then I’ll call Fortenge c8cc39a28a and tell them to 563893190b take down the article.”27be8e959b15338f

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He returned my 5bea3d2052 phone and moved 30a538b975 closer. The smell of 1ae855debe his sweat wafted ec27f1aa3e over me, fragrantly. I looked at him with 8bbf048364 a bored expression.aecc6c6a388370e9

“Do you have that kind of power?”67e78a19b64b5175

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“The CEO of Forten is my mom’s new husband, so we’re closer than strangers. If I say you’re my girlfriend, wouldn’t he do at least that much for me?”ca36c38f408b0d2f

“I appreciate the offer. It’s just a shame that Forten isn’t the only news outlet that published this article.”16fa35d7472ba41d

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“Damn it.”2da23871e4940e19

Duncan scratched the e49541b782 back of his 3fb7a7ec9f head and cursed 0ca6a46147 under his breath. His desk was f3bf068d71 bare, as if a2c76c8358 he had no fad8b90cf6 intention of taking f656ec2796 out his textbook.aadd79a24255d491

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He’d been going on about the same thing ever since the ‘Night at the Dormitory’ incident. Let’s date, let’s be in a relationship, let’s become close, I want your face to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and so on.867aa597119ec4b9

Every time he did, I got a headache trying to gauge when I could finally be cold to him. Because of Eleanor, who’d been acting like my protector since the incident at the dormitory, I didn’t want her to find out that I’d been ‘pretending to like’ Duncan. I wanted to appear as if my feelings were gradually cooling. It just didn’t work well when I was in front of Duncan.89fe61f73f4da8e9

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“What are you doing during the break? Let’s go to the beach. I’ll send a plane for you.”00edff70e2e046ca

“…I have one of those too.”3de054d1d2683cb8

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“When you see the night sea of Nol Beach, you’ll want to kiss me again.”3f03168fb31b6141

“Stop!”491d241043f7a031

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I barely managed to hold 6621b1f578 back the words telling him aeb0fa613f to get lost, and pushed 0be30f2d31 away his face, which was 25f671bda7 close to my ear. It felt like 8c501a6380 I had a fdf14745c3 huge beast tied 5805a85ff3 up beside me. His gaze was sticky and 6dbc1df51e unpleasant, as if he were 5b5e4cc4e0 licking me with his tongue. I tried to ignore Duncan 6526af949a and focus on the class.a11d13fdb4b42d0f

Since the night at the dormitory, Duncan had been attending history class regularly. That was the only subject we had in common. But Duncan’s diligence only extended to attendance. He kept poking me throughout class or just stared at my face with his chin resting on his hand, bothering me. When I glared at him and turned around, telling him to stop, he laughed, amused.768b516fee183cbd

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I hoped Mr. Harper would reprimand Duncan, but as if he didn’t want to get involved with such an uncontrollable student, he only occasionally threw out quiz questions to change the atmosphere and didn’t impose any other sanctions.34446584b85da1ed

“Do you not like Nol Beach? It might be hot 506b99b574 because it’s summer, but a4766064f7 it’ll be fun. We can party every a07d069ec7 day and go surfing. I’ll make sure 36a84eb9bf you have fun 93e3d38959 all day long.”81f98c7aae2dda85

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Even after class, Duncan persistently followed me. Instead of answering, I quickened my pace towards Cafe Terry, but Duncan’s stride was much longer than mine, and he wasn’t the type to be discouraged by being ignored.7dfbee2f6acef220

Duncan snatched my backpack like he was pulling on a pet’s leash and growled.a167d8ed4a036396

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“Our cute Dani, what are you doing keeping your earphones on when someone is talking to you? You have to answer, ec746e8c0d whether you like it f27e74fa82 or not. Do you know how much 724e2df47b I’m holding back right now?”425ff00ec0c367b3

“…I’ve been telling you I can’t go.”6dcbea28f5256ddd

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“There’s no reason you can’t go, so when you say you can’t, I don’t understand. Give me a plausible reason.”3bce8623259cd441

“My father won’t allow it.”a0747d670db62be5

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“Why would he object? I’m Graham. Should I talk to b01919729c your father?”de11bdfffcc22931

He suddenly put 56fc08e107 on a British b2d048b33e accent and smirked. My face instinctively crumpled. The inflated egos of 93d6e7b745 boys who have never fc8d27dce9 lacked anything.68beb5977eb4cbd5

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Annoyed, I slapped his d405ed0107 hand away. But Duncan gripped d458b52691 my backpack tighter, acdb3afa11 preventing me from 983f69f012 escaping.c583338c2199dee0

“Dani, we like each other, so why do we have to make things difficult?”06ee368c2137fc10

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“My bag….”0d77cd4a0086da28

“It’s not making things difficult, it’s that there’s no path at all, Duncan. That road is closed.”7bf357880a2e678e

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Just as Duncan was 80b070b140 about to corner me 62d6ca441b menacingly, Eleanor stepped in 0db0452dac between us.b42541e8fd05f972

“Are you okay, Dani?”e7d6716c4ae21c40

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Eleanor easily pushed Duncan away and took the spot next to me. My head ached even more. Eleanor’s high ponytail, as she looked at me protectively, hit Duncan’s face like a horse’s tail.03c47268a1007d32

Ouch! Duncan, who had been hit, ff15b93926 clutched his face and glared c6d6d012a6 at Eleanor. It was a ee310d9f79 threatening look, quite bdac787d21 different from when b3d9956e1e he looked at 5d5a60ad1c me.fc59a95fe0feba06

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“El! Can’t you see Dani and I are talking?”a8dde2610d0820e4

“Yes. I can’t see.”c83ecc9fb1b6486e

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Eleanor naturally linked arms with 9e2aa6502a me and glared at Duncan.8f469d915bb1a5ad

“Dani is my friend, Graham. And have I told you before? If you mess with my friend one more time, I’ll cut off your dick and decorate it on the cover of Fortenge.”36395117335dad12

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“I’d be grateful if you did that. I’m confident, you know. What should we do? Should I mess with Dani right here, right now? Huh?”a51b8655c421be7b

Duncan laughed loudly and 16d5a0efa4 unbuckled his belt instead. He looked like 291c7d6689 he was about aefe5b4a14 to take his 6306ec324a pants off right 8618b90803 there and then.58cd6fcbc836fad6

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“I don’t know how far I can mess with her. Can you bring me the Erratum rulebook? I’m curious about which positions are allowed in the hallway.”92d17fca7a7c1d6d

“You pervert! Just zip up your pants!”95f1a2b926349cd4

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Eleanor’s hands fluttered busily over my face, unsure whether to cover my eyes or my ears.bb8afc59ada0e996

“Dani, don’t listen to that! Let’s go. Remy’s waiting for us.”a15b8d70a3015811

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I was dragged by Eleanor towards the window like a child. I could hear Duncan shouting behind me, “She’s the one who kissed me first!” But Eleanor didn’t even look back, just pushing me blindly inwards.ebbeae2020bba369

“Remy! I brought Dani.”e68d4d130b9d4bc6

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Eleanor said triumphantly. Remington, who had 7ac1da2958 spotted us, put eedc630f59 down the book 3f968c3d06 he was reading e20deca7e9 and gave a fc172ea3e9 slight nod instead 3572a48f31 of a greeting.da5fff8300865d4a

He looked fresh d812b98214 in his summer 6ca6f6bb6e uniform. His naturally lengthened bbe1bdbe3f hair suited him 013fbba0ae well, and his 5327673f16 body, clad in 4ed0e5ffa1 a thin, light 85a9b0d91e white short-sleeved shirt, b385d7741e looked especially toned 1a5771f7a1 and sharp.04cd826c1a619c27

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<Wide Sargasso Sea>efda2d573c235e6a

I glanced at the title of the book Remington was reading and sat across from him. I had read it before, but I didn’t let on. I didn’t want to talk to him first, and I didn’t want to establish common ground with him.93297cf0095baee7

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Since the ‘Night at the Dormitory’ incident, we hadn’t had a proper conversation. We sat facing each other with indifferent expressions and ate, and if Eleanor wasn’t around, we didn’t even exchange words.63456d8cda6ac5df

But sometimes, even when Eleanor ffa4d65fc4 skipped lunch, Remington consistently came c3e2f269a5 to find me. He would silently place e1aa799792 his tray across from be801726cf me, and we would 6040f40c5a finish our meal, each 6c1f0a1561 reading a book or 16ed68b9d4 listening to music.efc333dec6252aac

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I kept a calm 308a594e4a face, but inside, I 713461d42c was quietly seething. Unresolved questions bubbled like foam, 4da49ffa69 and my heart seemed to 9b54f2ab70 rattle like the lid of 9636950bb1 a kettle that had boiled d17b3df259 over.3ba53511de2259cc

Would Remington also 5b4a324ba9 be hiding such 2cc6790cb5 turmoil behind a db8427367d seemingly tranquil mask?6db73d6ece18d912

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I hope so.622b65f19be4b6a4

It wouldn’t be fair e26842cfd3 if I were the 3da6cc84fa only one suffering.02240f90b6e6b22e

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“Remy, look at Duncan. Doesn’t he look completely crazy?”ab032fcac8917c50

Eleanor nudged Remington’s shoulder, sitting next to him, and shuddered.1d99aaa3802979d3

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“He’s definitely doing that on purpose to get Dani’s attention. He gets even more obsessive 3da4af12bb when he can’t have what b072064b62 he wants, you know? It’s disgusting, really….”cfb6cd4076d14e8a

Remington also slowly lifted 2b167938df his head and looked 1c9275d3f6 where Eleanor was pointing.efb24353bb62b54a

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“Anyone coming to Nol Beach! Anyone coming to Nol Beach!”8194043e0433e0fb

Duncan, with his df58d24b1a shirt unbuttoned halfway 1ce1080302 down his chest, 106a4596ff boasted a physique 8e16bd6b6b that suited the 48d59ba987 summer sun well ebffd39cdf and was rummaging 241828aa85 through the tables 83764c2e22 here and there.853c56604ea0864e

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Cafe Terry instantly turned into 800e32cc8f Nol Beach. Every time he ee8c6686a2 spoke to someone, 79c1f92aad the girls, though c2ad7f5950 flustered, couldn’t easily ffeb808ee1 take their eyes 16d2ce74c6 off him.133cb1b1aa4d1d68

Remington watched Duncan with an d0d0dcd424 impassive gaze. However, his brow 115124757e was subtly but 4fbb55b9fb definitely furrowed, and 82a576a25d displeasure was evident 6ef315b320 in his eyes.d9df9def4c5b6f30

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While everyone observed Duncan, 29c475281f I observed Remington. It was truly incomprehensible. The more he expressed his 4c8496221e contempt for me, the less 04b43e67b8 I could take my eyes 9339f0f471 off him.2fd27371cad432cd

I could still vividly remember Remington from that day. The bitter expression on his face as he looked at me, his lips confessing that my safety was none of his concern, yet his hand that wouldn’t let me go….ebda2f9b759f0685

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“You’re right. I hate myself like this too.”f1f2b13b968e61ba

The moment I recalled f1e8c0cfde that voice, Remington’s eyes 9c397cc937 met mine. Our gazes collided instantly. I, who had been 662859b94b watching him with my 84c737a1db chin resting on my 483f5d7f04 hand, quickly turned my 93a1721702 head away.d3469f8fdc1b9007

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My heart raced like 6295e884b9 someone caught doing something 7955ed6f30 wrong. My ears felt hot. Was he still looking 7ac2f2afb3 at me? What was he thinking when cf6a8d474f he discovered me watching him? I was afraid 19c806951a of such things, e145c7096b yet curious.55feef4f053e21ed

But Remington, in a nonchalant 419379dcf4 voice, replied only to Eleanor.cb2308dc4226ae07

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“Leave him alone. That’s Duncan’s charm.”2d3d4f96a33ed727

I was conscious of c4c941542e Remington, but he was 900734d1cc never conscious of me. The fact that he showed 1873d4d951 no interest in me reassured c360a06af5 me, yet strangely dampened my cb0f830016 mood.ba40b5e4c8dcc049

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“Defending him as a friend. As the female student representative, I can’t tolerate him running wild like that. This is why you shouldn’t assign people to the Royal Dormitory just based on their family background. You have to consider their character too. I’m really worried about how the school will be run after I graduate!”341a4cb7db85f9af

Eleanor’s fists trembled as she retorted, her voice laced with a rather serious sense of righteousness.842811f5a8f08682

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“Speaking of people who don’t belong in the Royal Dormitory, Dani, you should be careful of your roommate.”38c1ab2b52c42406

“Are you talking about Kat?”829958448f474f5e

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My head tilted slightly at 25abac87fb the unexpected name. Eleanor responded, not e3c82db6f5 hiding her blatant 735e02a531 contempt.241621da2a35b8bc

“Yes. Her. That girl might take pictures of you and sell them to Duncan. Or maybe she’ll collect your underwear that you put out to wash, or used sanitary pads from the trash can, and sell them. Duncan would definitely make that kind of request.”e6670814f4c9d327

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“Thanks for the concern. But Kat isn’t the type to do that. We’re quite close.”40b79cd0f150082d

I said firmly, but Eleanor didn’t seem to trust my judgment. She snatched a blueberry from my tray with her pointed nails and pressed me.79300e68c6d60e90

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“You don’t know that she’s the girl who sold all of her parents’ wedding rings and heirlooms, do you? The Beers family a489f35a31 wants to kill 5cab991638 her, even if 59232e8778 it means hiring 176d1508ad an assassin. I guarantee you, she only f6d9e953c0 cares about money. Her parents are such d8760a7e9a good people, I don’t cb4547e1e0 know how such a 790fd4dfdd weirdo was born to baf4ec2c14 them.”0ef985b79dc143d2

“I don’t know about her relationship with her parents, but Kat likes me.”c9a8419290d9217c

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“Oh, Dani. That girl is a Rat! She’ll do anything for money.”1266b1a34f8422b3

Eleanor dropped the 8d3addfea3 blueberry as if 09186f34a3 throwing it, frustrated. She added that she calls d32418e92a kids who run errands for af80c01bad money ‘Rats’.2f6c79318de068a0

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“Rats are kids who will do anything for money. Taking pictures, getting drugs, taking exams for others, anything is possible. If they get caught, it’s the employer’s responsibility to deal with the aftermath.”dac844334a0fc90c

“Hmm, I see.”8a9c2799bf0ec015

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“I know those kinds of kids well, Dani. Rats are a breed that doesn’t understand things like friendship or loyalty. They only know money! Say something too, Remy.”d6856c7cba0d1fc0

Remington, who had been eating 134d040f5b quietly without joining the conversation, a29ad4bdbb reacted a beat late.904f736842417fa8

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“Sorry. What were you talking about?”8660e6e4de95a51a

“We were talking about Rats. Dani doesn’t seem to understand 5acf167f37 how dangerous Rats are.”6f57e98a945a422b

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“Ah, Rats.”2db367106b51f3bf

Remington wiped his c6623c5529 mouth with a 7c4603539f napkin and muttered 368aa3ec0f indifferently. He sounded completely uninterested.98d8bb947f1e8943

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“But El, you give a Rat $100 every week to get the limited-edition afternoon tea set that comes out on the last Saturday of the month, don’t you? If it weren’t for the Rat, you would have had to wait in line.”8c3ab97d104898ea

“That’s different!”a46efabb9085c365

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When she didn’t get the desired reaction, Eleanor went on and on about the dangers of Rats. Her conclusion was that for the sake of the Royal Dormitory’s prestige, dormitory assignments should be made considering students’ personal lives.0d558b12be66ce88

“You’re not going to hang out with that girl during vacation, are you?”f2e65e388cc79435

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“Well….”bd139549f6d68893

I was getting tired of Eleanor’s controlling behavior. As I turned my head slightly to avoid her persistent gaze, I made eye contact with Duncan in the distance. He beckoned to me as if he had been waiting, and mouthed the words,57cb5a6cdc9afdcc

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‘Let’s go to Nol Beach together.’708c978dffe2cdbd

Ignoring Duncan, who 22114fab61 wiggled his eyebrows b0e4bb5f7f suggestively, I looked 03ca1ccac3 back at Eleanor. I immediately snitched.f75cb408337bd3cb

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“Duncan invited me to Nol Beach.”4b8d222742d8cb87

“Oh, dear….”c494f51c53dee6cc

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Eleanor grimaced in horror. It was then that de0f14c800 Remington, who hadn’t shown 8f98b43c58 any interest in our 4dc7b70ee5 conversation, lifted his head. I noticed his gaze but efa4e15578 pretended not to see, deliberately 55844a2364 keeping my eyes fixed on c8190ff249 Eleanor and continuing the conversation. But my face 0148932621 grew hotter and 61fdc7e9a8 hotter.47b926f986c57c0e

“He’s having a party at the Nol Beach villa. I haven’t answered yet.”00bef7eb9f61d2a3

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“But Dani, why is your face getting redder as you say that? Are you that happy to 62d4b41fa0 be invited by Duncan? Do you still like him 0a6f4224bb that much?”5bd2ae6f780201f9

“It’s not that….”94dfdd95075083ac

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“Damn it. And I’m the host of that party! It’s my graduation party!”fa8489d1c4b1ace4

Eleanor gripped her fork and looked back at Duncan. She looked like she wanted to run over and rip out Duncan’s short hair.1f655d964388dc22

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“Duncan beat me to it. I was originally going to 0e6797c0e0 give you the invitation first! But….”6af4ba4fba9e38a6

“But?”05008271e0986985

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“Remy stopped me. He said you wouldn’t even like the invitation, and that you’re the type who can’t easily refuse an invitation, so I shouldn’t invite you at all.”a2bbd86815374b8d

Eleanor whispered, lowering her voice. But it was e86fa0d4e4 pointless since Remington 7c747f0407 was sitting right 743ae0fefd next to her.428984fdbec6ce4f

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Don’t even invite me? Flustered, I immediately looked at Remington, but he avoided my eyes, drinking water.6ef1c0a2a5abccd1

“That’s right, Dani. It’s better this way. I’ll get rid of Duncan somehow, so let’s go to Nol Beach together! I’ll introduce you to some true elites with excellent family backgrounds and things to learn. You seem to need to change the people around you.”b63756d4634a13ef

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“Thanks for the invitation, but….”6ad5db032b573e96

I trailed off, thinking. Knowing that Remington tried to a08f18d8b5 stop me from going made e5a5f0ddbc me want to go to 369cd43655 the party even more, but 84e6c81497 I wondered if my father e4d631c574 would allow it.5edaa4dff94a244e

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“I’m not sure if my father will allow it. It’s a very sensitive b7db64e7cb time for him right 03fe83d244 now.”90726e0b40b39ef7

“True. The election is coming e4785ed967 up soon. Still, if you change fd165d1f87 your mind, let me 6d002bc607 know. We’re planning to stay a3d48fff87 for a month. Right, Remy?”e1a586279c7ddc6e

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Remington nodded blandly. I rested my chin on e5f4b16541 my hand and stared at a14adf596e him intently. His face was filled a90516a41b with boredom, not at be2f7e4e6e all like someone who 87218f04d9 had a trip to 11f434afd1 a beautiful resort planned. Is that his happy expression?18863417f4351dc6

Just then, Remington suddenly looked b7bb85581e at me, only his eyes 1e3bfd2d9f moving.85218d73ce0aee82

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‘Don’t come.’ecb5026a77141f8e

His lips formed those words.611989d36b4e5f49

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“What?”29e2b78845c10a22

I asked back in surprise, but Remington had already turned his head away. Only Eleanor expressed her curiosity, asking, “Huh? What?” and I shook my head as if it was nothing. Remington calmly went back to cutting his steak as if he hadn’t said anything at all.77ce0c5a3451206c

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️ef89d0cc52f03400

After Eleanor left ba81ce59fd first because of a1e28e0f84 a special chapel acc0d989e8 for the graduating 1aec5fecf8 class, only Remington 3a5bcd2547 and I remained 780a2898a1 at the table.26eeb933a19a5265

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Remington had already b8d2769252 finished his meal, 92e8a299dd but he waited 35f5af6da6 for me. He always did that. He’d wait for 8b0208b813 me until the 821157423a very end, even 108fdb6bda with a look 5b321d5a1a on his face 606bc10d4e like he was e67a7a22d3 bored to death. He might be 4da1041138 doing it on c56abf4102 purpose, knowing that 3379f6bf36 it makes me c7d901210d even more uncomfortable.0e14c11ea8e990c0

I wanted to eat faster, c1dcde5bef but no matter how hard 67fb111888 I chewed, the mashed potatoes 48adfb3010 filling my mouth wouldn’t go a5351241e5 down easily.92818742eedc334e

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“Eat slowly. We have plenty of time.”750f9041a900875b

Remington said casually, pushing a b55f25c81a sparkling water towards me. He had already opened 6e57ed00c5 his novel and was 235b977ca1 reading again.7cd5566615fd65af

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Now even his nonchalance was c4269825fd irritating. I was also 71bcab70a4 embarrassed that he 059a4c881e had caught me 32a9bf7f6e trying to eat 7ddc3ee623 quickly. I swallowed what was in c97a153ef3 my mouth without touching the 6f2929f954 water he offered.c62f7e5043f39627

“Don’t mind me. You can go first.”c93e4d16d0c9130a

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“If I leave here, the whole school will see your puffed-out cheeks. That wouldn’t be good. As your buddy, I have to protect Roderson’s dignity.”446563cd5faddca9

Remington smiled faintly and turned c2daee91c7 his attention back to his 8653d74f37 book.4964fa86b9ce8bef

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…He never lets a single thing go.374396edd6408a6e

I always feel like a child in front of him. Like I’m fighting a losing battle. I swallowed my frustration and asked him,563fd5b4ceb92856

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“Do you hate seeing my face that much until vacation?”c2d9f05ee355ac1b

“I never said I hated it.”0eda108840274f62

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His eyes, which b09f7c0830 had lifted from 71c08ebd30 his book, now dba17568ef held a hint 93abf8ddfc of annoyance.874ad8872006fb71

“Then why are you trying to stop me from going?”e4658bc8c61f330b

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“Why are you always so curious about the reasons?”8d8dbabf71e2920c

“I’m not your subordinate. I’m not a toy either. Don’t order me around without telling me the reason. I don’t believe you anymore.”0e3d3dbc6b3b4ff3

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“I didn’t order you, I advised you. I’m worried you’ll, like last time, not be able to tell the difference between alcohol and juice, gulp down whatever, and kiss some innocent boy.”7d51a9b378eda6ed

His tone was teasing 0087913ce3 and mocking. Annoyed by his smirking face, d46f173091 I clenched my fists.eec186e7f951c0d3

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Right. What can I expect from a boy who declared that he doesn’t care whether I’m in danger or not? I stood up abruptly, carrying my tray. The roughly pulled chair made an unpleasant screeching sound.5a2a9979872b9a7f

“Want me to tell you the ending of that novel?”b3f2579e43839fdf

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I took a 1811878ce4 small revenge on 358399cc88 him.0a9a6b2eeea5e21e

“The male protagonist betrays and abuses the female protagonist. He even changes her name without permission and locks her up in the house. In the end, the female protagonist dies. It’s suicide.”7ac3d7b270934891

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Remington’s expression turned sour, like someone who had been doused with cold water. It served him right.87153e0b4f4424f8

— Why do you think we draw blood every two months? It’s to check if you’re taking your medication regularly, and if you’re healthy. It’s all for you, Miss.437b47fefadef63f

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“Yes, I know.”215cf9ed798b582a

I answered casually, holding the 119edabf81 phone to my ear with 91d260c83e my shoulder, and Anna on 2b49b657b6 the other end of the 70e463b31e line burst out in anger.bf7e6958ffa7a90c

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— You’re not listening to me, are you?e63bff6cb438f098

“No! I’m listening.”422931130a4f73d9

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I was sitting dd903784ee on Cassie’s bed, e8836771be helping her package f99d1fee86 her pills. I put down the tweezers aa9fa1f578 and properly held the phone.f45ecb722cb90023

“I’m taking my medication properly. But this time, I only 67199c14b5 missed it once because I 0f5ea4c70a had a presentation. And I had the 84a117bd2c blood test right the 3a0f4ddcc6 day after I missed 13b06630f1 it.”3e8387cf26c4606f

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— What does the presentation have to do with your medication?b84d1820df405bda

“After I take the medication, it feels like, how should I put it… like I just woke up. I can’t concentrate.”112c518dad11701f

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— Oh, Miss. Dr. Conil said that’s all….dc4bd93a9623e437

“Yes, I know. It’s all in my head.”8701ddaf73d77f04

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I cut Anna off 45011c19ff and answered. Cassie, who was listening to 637934950b the conversation next to me, 63abd188a1 chuckled softly as she picked 1a78d8a2f4 up a pill with tweezers. Anna sighed on the 260cfb6c8a other end.531655f3254b438a

— Miss, I’m really worried about you. If your levels are messed up by the next test, the Congressman will….531a5981a3ee373a

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“Don’t worry. I won’t disappoint you.”2649c80e08ca1d0c

I barely managed cdad8d16a1 to soothe the c03001c0f2 tearful Anna and c3471398c4 ended the call. As soon as I 6a9a358a7c put down the phone, 5454be3723 I immediately popped a fafa5f064f pill into my mouth, 12a74ebffc afraid I might forget. A creepy feeling sent shivers b915157930 down my spine.e1ad0836c476e35f

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After taking the medication, I 3823db9454 feel faint, like a ghost. I only skipped 08a0c6200e it a few cf4b0625ab times because I 3210aa640a hated that feeling, 19010f20cf but advanced medical bf784168ee technology can quantify f0694b6ce1 how obedient or 1a31d9b823 rebellious I am c423db011f with just a cf4e4bd127 few drops of 8c399739e1 blood. My father and grandmother placed 98b164f3e1 great importance on what they 22243fd45f saw in numbers, so maintaining 7ed7dd62d3 those numbers was important to b8cbcd5c4c me.a6d34b9ba1899a83

“Are your parents as stubborn as mine?”bfe9cefdb9072bdc

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Cassie asked, carefully 329815e985 dropping the pills 073f9407b6 into the medicine 73414a4990 bag with a d893ef0f41 thoughtful look. I climbed back onto Cassie’s ab2ad37c19 bed, picked up the tweezers, 28bb3a5afd and shook my head.b7e732d1a3d84fdf

“My father does this because he’s worried about me. I can’t make a 74890a0b30 mistake in front of 5edbb9c17d people if I skip ef084f4181 my medication. It’s all for me.”97b7ade32e36086a

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“How is that for you? It’s for him. It breaks my heart 61dee34883 every time I see 9c213b941d you dazed from the ffe4b157e2 medication. Your father should see dad91e9914 you like that.”2104e215e4d24543

I smiled faintly 35c447e598 at Cassie’s words.5708ed750abbbadf

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To hate such a kind 6da07f64a7 girl just because she acts fa6251cb0a in a way that tarnishes 7a0675b720 the dignity of the Royal 22f382e0a2 Dormitory… Eleanor is so simple. Simple and bad.7a911b228b8695e2

Cassie was a ea3fcc0a1e girl who would 01543dc82a jump at any 1d8ae7f6a5 information that could 2934e20e39 be turned into 9f3aa7ae0b money, but she 54443f72d8 never pried when 53ba9a3f18 I talked about 6fbcdf53aa my family. And no matter 1bb0ec8410 what I said, 176a81e6b1 she always took 1e7704e4c6 my side. I liked that about Cassie.221a1c3939ce0580

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“But Kat, who takes all these pills?”c249209cd31d17cc

“Our grade is starting to prepare for entrance exams. It’s peak season.”5f5b4240ac09d37d

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“Do these pills help you do well on tests?”58f1f3d54d70a0e4

“They make you smart. They increase your concentration. Kids buy them, d9ef0b6ad8 but parents outside 9c36b0ab75 buy them even ab7ee00388 more. They give them to a2eb9ff97e their kids ‘for their 5a361e7bad sake,’ just like your 09e66cea19 father.”ed7bbf1d26e68470

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“Are there many customers at school too? Everyone looks so normal 0e2a552b39 on the outside.”906a68bf70c72738

“There are a lot. But who the 2b02f543bd customers are is 50ab4fd861 a secret. Believe it or ff2dd3fdfc not, I’m someone ff4316a1dc who keeps my f0949bde1b clients’ secrets.”31f9f1913f168dd1

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Cassie replied with an unusually proud look. Her eyes sparkled behind her glasses. I wanted to ask if Remington was one of her customers, but I stopped myself. Knowing wouldn’t change anything.3055e530e1d326f2

“Dani, if you want to be independent, you need to save your own money. Then you can be free.”d0a909cef5673420

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Cassie, who had a703583ccf been silently packaging 85b36b5070 the pills, suddenly a1ea526155 said that.ffa1fc81c513a547

“You have to remember that your parents’ money is your parents’ money. When you obediently listen to your parents and spend their money freely, it feels like it’s all my money, but in reality, it’s not my money at all. That kind of money actually restricts me. If you truly want to be free, you have to save your own money.”8bbe41251f401598

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“Do you want to be free, Kat?”4985b07da5051fdb

“Of course. Everyone wants that.”96fda1a8eff4bd35

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“But I think I’m free enough now, don’t you?”069313c7a2da8dbb

At my words, Cassie lifted 5c978dc279 her head and laughed heartily. The pills slipped from baef10ffb4 her tweezers, but Cassie 0bca69cd46 didn’t care, just kept 966a6b1ad1 laughing for a long abec8dc4a4 time.0433505abef2da4b

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“Dani, after we graduate, let’s travel together. I’ll show you what real freedom is. Once you taste it, you’ll realize how unfree you’ve been living until now.”a9775fdf13d8c7b6

Cassie talked for a long 18e6dae462 time about the pyramids of 43ab1e32cc Egypt, the ancient castles of d4f1cb77cb China, and the shining sky 49cfdef92e of Iceland.e2951dda9e7259a8

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“We’ll also go to Korea, where your parents were born. It’ll be really fun, Dani.”325bdb3881147d43

“Yeah. That sounds fun.”2fabe94c1bbe9fd5

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I smiled happily. True freedom. For some reason, it felt 2d52f64903 like a distant word to dec9aaa7f0 me.d33345e1a06a66c4

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️d2aee2637e8e7401

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Summer vacation had arrived. The forest seen from the 8fd17fe235 bridge as I left Erratum ba2a39616f was green. What had been black d9fa413006 when I first headed cf668fefb8 to Erratum had now e6141cf865 turned green.9d46c67ca322fc14

From that moment, my 8585033d2f chest felt tight. Whether leaving or returning, I ba3c30280b was still black.6f9436868ac356a2

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I hated summer. Summer is like a vampire, 03555dad8b sucking away my life force 589bdd1a05 to feed itself.c8cd16e606a93aed

The red and yellow 8152b49054 energy of the sun, 87ddeda760 the especially deep blue 9385a14b7a sea, the forest shimmering 595e08e520 in deep green… I 4acd437293 hated all of them, d06ebdf0ef becoming more and more 6a619b6096 abundant, in contrast to 815224dd2f me, withering away. As if because of them, c05d51501b I was suffering from this 52398bd344 deep hunger.1ed9573ecc1e87e8

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I stared blankly 02083b2227 at the deep a6ed714b70 blue scenery beyond 5cc609c7d2 the large window a897535a3e and pushed a d59db0644c piece of white 50feda73f2 fish into my 6a10c23710 mouth.06321ec94006ff56

Thanks to the b94e5ce3b2 longer days, it 9900f9921a was still bright 3f5bbb2c31 outside, but my f4f3324d8c heart was cold 579f736013 and dark. It had been like that f079324dd3 ever since I came back e6fa644a93 home after the start of 97613b84a2 summer vacation. The atmosphere at d4b1a20eff home was a 7b528ab691 rollercoaster depending on c0c5d5c88a the election polls, c916994a37 and I was 29d3e318ca on the verge 1cb14b6a74 of dying from 620195cc2e motion sickness.6b5cd81edad27fc6

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“You said you were having a lot of fun at school?”522f212ecdbb193c

“Well, it’s so-so.”e3a1ce3bf94eced2

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I answered my brother 5ff9f09604 Maxwell halfheartedly. There was a time d4f52f7ee9 when the existence of 98ebb2fed4 my first brother felt 8a61ebd7d5 awkward, but after realizing eaa09e3e28 that diligently responding to 58c958f269 his provocative words only 931c4eefe6 made me look foolish, 1a43a44050 he became the easiest 05c7c48d06 person for me to 9e629a3662 deal with. At the same 73b8c81d4e time, he was 6f77d2565e also the most 756b9b4262 annoying person. As if my answer 8395fadd71 was so funny, my 2531b72c32 brother let out a 9953a2bd67 chuckle. The artificial light from 44ef5be753 the chandelier hanging high b5ff7e9cf3 from the ceiling cast 319fda44d3 even darker shadows on 98747b6632 his angular face.fbff5bc6580c0459

Both Daniel and Sister Bo took after our father, but Maxwell’s face was different. It wasn’t that he resembled his deceased mother either, but if I had to pick someone close, he resembled our grandmother. Especially his snake-like, sharp eyes.ffdc98bb5a22cacd

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“Well, of course. With boys swarming around 55f055d9c0 you, it must be e68ab5d287 fun.”751c265139e5730f

“Who said that?”ce8dc141794c987d

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“Word’s gotten around, Dani.”ff739008d91d53ee

My brother raised his 29e7fb7cdb eyebrows and smirked obnoxiously. I wonder where he 9b2a03d954 heard such strange things. I narrowed my 27f9c25456 eyes and glared 611511f248 at him. He pointed to 350f601ce6 the second floor f2563adc3a with the knife 296acec29a he was using 8b7c7e0adb to cut his 8260665a58 scallops.92f21fd2ecf82c5e

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“You better watch yourself too. If you spread 23b120daec your legs for 4a7202b9d0 some strange guy, ed769fc0f1 you’ll be the 4a9f11e4b4 one getting beaten 143ee48831 up like that 73347ac400 next time.”999ebed1e8d3b65f

“Max!”869078fbd0ab419d

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Grandmother, sitting at the 992f72d1be end of the table, b95aacbd76 clicked her tongue. Her upright posture, despite 8e66838111 being nearly 80 years 3a23a045e4 old, carried her suit a863be5957 perfectly.658863848e0836bc

“Watch your language. There are many ears listening.”bb236e8f67bd087a

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“Despite that, Father doesn’t seem to care much, does he?”a847c04a82de8b12

Maxwell said, gesturing f721b42b72 his chin towards 3dc61c176d the second-floor study. From beyond the tightly closed 93908c9877 door, the sounds of crashing, 4c82dd37d0 banging, and collapsing leaked out.62e7fb1514f244d0

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Along with Sister Bo’s screams.ad2328633b5eb9e8

“Katie? Could you turn up the 5820fd0375 music a bit?”ddc8106a047d4c47

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Grandmother ordered the housekeeper. Katie increased the volume of the CD player. Chopin’s Piano Sonata No. 2 flowed from the expensive speakers. The piano music effortlessly covered Sister Bo’s screams and filled the dining room.002289deab05717d

“Nice choice of music. Sounds like someone’s about to 030b0f6f14 die.”988eccee79f2b6c7

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Maxwell chuckled, pushing a thinly 7b7800a1aa sliced piece of scallop into cee7c87a20 his mouth.e13d23b6fb2a616c

I felt increasingly nauseous. I put down my knife 2e59f4dc7a and picked up my phone. Eleanor’s social media was full edb2c9bc2a of vacation photos. Kids laughing happily a595546061 under the leisurely febaea0fb9 Nol Beach sun. Unlike me, on 0842b67410 the verge of 90bc0365db suffocating, they looked dd02f9c062 free and lively. I envied them.7f20c6b14fd2ddcc

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‘Don’t come.’fcc444fcdcfb9972

Why did Remington tell me acd3703cd4 not to come? Did he hate seeing me 4d7efa50ac that much? Was I that much d2818170c7 of a nuisance to 217891c74c him?31d04cbb45d9431b

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I wanted to go to bf7fd0dddd Nol Beach, even if it 51df534936 was just to spite him, c94104fb54 but I hadn’t said a 7ed4e505c6 word to my father about 76561a708b the trip yet. If I brought it 86b786cb64 up, I might be 2eae03ac51 the next one headed eaafa033c5 to the study, just ca5df6b5c2 like Maxwell said.5d2b364e2f414eca

It’s just as well…. As I was slowly 9ccff22d7c scrolling, a loud noise c85b0a444d came from overhead.437019ca8c08d7ec

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Bang!8ef1c37e8ff0fdd1

Startled, I hurriedly 1a9dd60661 put my phone 8f989657e1 down on the 5769d3d3e7 table.fd7dba414df561a5

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“Katie! Clear my plate e967d6c991 and prepare the 0d703701b5 wine!”4899d3ceec24608f

Father ordered the housekeeper 6fc5ee6643 as he came down 2ba4ee95a4 from the second floor. Sister Bo was with him.80e4dd337a7fa45b

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Sister Bo’s brown hair, neatly tied when she first went up to the study, was now disheveled, and her exposed skin was covered in dark red bruises.08ee3350e6498e95

I held my breath and cfabfb659a lowered my head.42059d9e30dccd1d

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Katie filled Father’s glass with 322d5adc85 red wine, then lowered the e25cebb38b volume of the speakers back 73d46ed754 to its original level and 3b1e9a7529 retreated. The piece, now aba943c44d in the third 1084d3450a movement, was filled 2ce01bafdd with solemnity.8b19298063b0b468

“Max, did you check Forten and Greed?”672211d5c86406c8

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Father asked Maxwell. He answered immediately.65e184c39c6aca4d

“Yes, I confirmed. All three, including d29e47ea59 PensLane, have published f24f9de460 corrections. The main articles have also 80954100f7 been changed. Other news outlets will 34b47f91ee start posting articles soon.”8f429ebc8cec06f0

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“Such a trivial matter is so troublesome.”5d22be33f1165b3c

Father lightly rinsed 8a333e1730 his mouth with 618943b005 wine. Sister Bo sat 7359d45da9 next to me. Unable to look f85a01fffb at her, I a07c48744d quietly pushed the b12600ee1b salt and pepper af79f21841 towards her. But she just sat still, 80aa35e488 leaving her cooling soup untouched.bc47507e7ae615c4

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“Oh! And PensLane requested 19fab96464 a photo of 17c70ec9a6 you and Sister 6df43830d7 looking close. So I sent Greg ecd910d6f0 some horseback riding photos e546367a29 from the year before affc12f7cf last. And photos from 7233d0afa7 the Thanksgiving party.”e284f47625af7358

“Expressions. Did you check the ef84543f93 expressions too?”34b4cacb7baa153f

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“Of course! Fortunately, Sister is smiling in all the photos. Now the claim that she’s dating an immigrant out of defiance against you will die down a bit. And Sister’s political science essay is also scheduled to be released. Greg said it doesn’t clash with our current platform regarding immigration policy or abortion rights.”250b1d668a0d1b67

“Tell him to keep monitoring the reactions. It won’t die down easily.”e93545fc3c0b2cc2

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Father shook his ba007c3589 head as if 4a8ff26672 it was a 16b28d19c5 headache. Then, suddenly, the arrow d22396c338 flew towards me.3547b066052df4d6

“Duncan Graham.”ba01c62c14e8862d

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“Yes?”b6ed490aeb371f9a

Startled by the unexpected name, 83b64eded4 I lifted my head. Father was sipping his wine 39925bb468 and looking at me.6e4264ea1b07d14e

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“What’s your relationship with him?”5f3491778c0cd0e2

The question was too sudden. I wasn’t prepared at all. My mind went blank. I became even more anxious e541470378 because I couldn’t read his 2e993e5c1f intentions. I scratched the back of e5d54dadc6 my hand under the table ede4810a9d and answered.fdbfba04108665d6

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“We’re… friends who take history class together. He’s also a friend of 37154b2690 Remington… my buddy, Remington.”bcf4b97deac4174e

“I didn’t know you were bold enough to give a cheek kiss to a boy.”81b070852ed0b95d

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“Ah….”c8c2af6ee43a3370

Father chuckled, rubbing his chin. The thick gold 8246ed70fd ring on his 62e824bf81 ring finger gleamed 1f1b97eddc imposingly. Maxwell, sitting across da4d28a6b9 from me, whistled 290a4907f4 softly, watching me dddfc9ebe2 with an amused a4b23a58dc look.8664635c2ef7523b

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I suddenly felt unbearable. So scared and tense ce256878df that I wanted to 708796f0ef disappear from this place, bbb9669402 even if it meant 23eecb21bf hurting myself.2174f3e8c25c1138

Father continued speaking with an c5f8138403 indifferent expression.63640213924b7337

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“Some fearless fellow sent a short video to the campaign office the other day, so I watched it. It was just bb209e764d a cheek kiss 409264f51e as a greeting, f82ac9f7ed but I was 6c1938b791 surprised. You’re not usually 62b0e47b38 like that, are 7005ddfe2d you?”3b51a5fc75e85ca9

“Oh, th-that….”b39078d9904acbb6

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“Remember that someone is always watching you, wherever you are. I find it hard effd74469d to tolerate carelessness.”3bd96e21982ccee1

Father tapped his 7abae453b8 wine glass twice 1248f9cf1a with his ring. Katie, upon hearing 40ddab622e the signal, cautiously c9908ec8a1 approached and filled b5688442e0 his empty glass c954fec8b3 with wine.22fb6775c693f359

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I was almost in a 25a12f1282 state of panic. I couldn’t gauge a7bdf8506e how angry my e600d5270c father was. Maxwell watched me, holding back aaa65c18b9 his laughter, and Grandmother watched b555ba0ca8 me sharply from behind her 5b3145056d magnifying glass. I was so scared 7effba8fd5 that I felt nauseous. Hiding my trembling hand b97d32695d under the table, I 7cafebf42c said,2fddb07bd8f82c01

“I-It was a… mission. We played a game in 1e81def1b7 the girls’ dormitory… and I a33fe8eec6 lost. It wasn’t anything serious. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again….”813626e85dd054c8

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“That audacious Graham boy called me this morning.”54d1007e9415c646

“…Yes?”da19bd19929f8002

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I asked back with a 5af16a4d8a dumbfounded look.4156e3f0294aaabc

Father continued calmly.98487c314eaf0d4b

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“He asked me to send you to Nol Beach for the summer.”7625786974410f07

“Ha!”ff92d853f43761f2

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A short laugh escaped me aa485801c0 involuntarily.b9178e3feb9c9f66

That crazy bastard…. I wanted to 90b8ec6f88 grab Duncan by be15485b32 the collar and 7facbaee38 curse him out 061c061c18 right then and 65435369ba there. How could he 41c93652b7 do such a 8ef7533d67 thing? Did he even know what a3ecd6c69f he had done? I hurriedly made excuses.25d3313c1a2ec10b

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“You can ignore him. He’s talking nonsense. I never said I 8bfb3ed314 wanted to go! In fact, I said I fd74e15953 didn’t want to. He’s a really strange boy. He’s self-centered and reckless….”3ef32eea47e295fa

“Go.”15ac118ab625a653

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“…Yes?”29d8772850ced8ee

Once again, I had to d993c92317 look at my father with 97dcb2c169 a stupid expression. My mind was 87acc7e88c blank, as if 9f100e6c06 I had heard b395ea63c9 something I shouldn’t 1f509e8271 have.2de2dbc10765cd1d

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“What did you just say…?”629ddf3f1fe1c808

“I said go.”86f7fea68bf921a2

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Father answered, still leisurely 02c267923a drinking his wine. It was unbelievable.e095130f011b1f3a

“Wouldn’t a month-long vacation at Nol Beach clear your head a bit? Besides, it would be 6b3fc2c8fa a shame to pass 849bed0f89 up the opportunity since d0ac240f5d the Graham boy likes 0d8ca0c47e you. Having Lester as the 9c538d95fb host isn’t bad either.”f155b1875973f0d4

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“Bu-But….”df3f635211969aff

“Go upstairs with Anna and pack your bags. I’ve had Greg c28c4aba3d take care of b5ee9010bf the rest, so ae269ad938 leave tomorrow. No delays.”803bcaaaf7e2abd2

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“…….”992bcfa9f1f2d738

I stared at my father blankly. Even Maxwell was looking at him with a puzzled expression. Although he couldn’t readily ask the reason behind the decision, he clearly had the same question as me. Because this was truly strange.314ae786fdb23037

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If it were e8c0b49372 the usual Father, e2507c751f he would never c6a8a5c1dc have let me f9ba059996 off the hook. A cheek kiss c6e3e959b8 with a boy? In front of everyone! And even though there 3b337ca3e6 was careless evidence left 6bf75ceaa2 behind in the form b430429d50 of a video, I 8370971a7e was safe.38f6e427e8e43fa1

I didn’t hear 2243c1c1c9 any shouting, I 53c8b96707 wasn’t beaten. I wasn’t dragged 5f6b9be840 away, and I 3500c87ed2 wasn’t locked up. Instead, I would be 75c5189062 going to Nol Beach 6579a4b866 tomorrow. Standing under the 9c02ae39e3 sun as if 9e02ccf9a5 nothing had happened. As if all my sins 76028b8134 had been forgiven.069c249fac0e597e

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Was I being tested?c6d8eb0b60a4898b

“…Are you sure it’s okay for me to go?”46565bc7657c0b65

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I asked carefully once more as I got up from my seat. Father smiled kindly. It was a bright smile I hadn’t seen in a while.3070cc7e66103494

“Everyone makes mistakes at your age. Go and send bb7bdc9acf messages to Anna 1ce39c2b1c regularly. Make sure you 3174cc4f6f take your medication.”8693e41bbb0e8b06

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“…Thank you!”e146014bae832b73

I ran to Father and c73fef7334 hugged him tightly. He let out staccato bursts 8090093424 of laughter and gently stroked 78ace59a66 my back. I finally felt relieved. As if all my 8384e4c431 sins had truly been 63a2fbf61e washed away.9f3bbf36c0d79225

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As I went up to 6b9e0b79a5 my room with Anna, I b8f9758967 looked back down several times, a918b0271d still in disbelief.bc5767bdc6ce6432

The family at the dining 310d314b88 table, seen from above, were 571e34dd94 white and pale like ghosts. Turning my head back, the 235170e799 portraits hanging on the staircase 9cd2d690df wall were black and red, 0f9919cdf3 as if they would devour 62bfce2a9b me.515c3fe884f70cec

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And when I 376f948a20 looked back down a36cedb1ec again, I made b8716f965f eye contact with 02948f4399 Sister Bo. She was looking 87b7807886 at me worriedly 63a0b6ece4 and mouthed these b07cba1175 words:988fe428d6404e83

‘Don’t go.’969b434fb4f5dfb2

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Before leaving for Nol Beach, I went to see Sister Bo, but she didn’t seem to remember what she’d said. Why couldn’t she remember? Was it because she had been punished so terribly?de63ee9110c9344b

Maxwell had once been found 18ea7c02f4 banging his head against the 9be8d25098 wall until blood streamed down 3ce445d8e8 his forehead. That’s what Father’s 4340f27731 existence meant to 293114975a us. He was someone who made 64a706438b his children feel like they 4d01fff9f4 had to throw up everything 7ab0ae1a81 inside them.e18526c619e2eed3

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