ETDO Chapter 46

“Just report to bd41d72b0e me first on ab6fc77468 the day you f67c3e7272 sell the information 683862a999 to her.”536e3cf724da7720

The man groveled and ca0e88a798 mumbled.75cfe8e7e3f8027b

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“Yes, that won’t be 114c749d7f a problem at all. However, the lady said b432bad0c4 she would pay the 530de2cb52 rest of the fee dcd32c8ff5 then…”92581b12fbcb9bb0

Charlotte scoffed at the 3306f7408b man’s attempt to extort 64867c824c more money.5affeacc150015e2

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“Haven’t you already 225828b6e4 received enough with 3a9c255831 the down payment?”f769c9ac8cdded2e

“Oh, yes, of course! But if you aa0d603dd9 give me even abbdad1a29 a little more, 2d831059ef I’ll be even 72fe3f897e more motivated to bd99c18af5 do a better 2d59edf6d0 job. And I can finish 36dfc0b3ce it faster, too.”c2a42687c854896f

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“Ha!”5f99eb8c3fb6d7ec

She was speechless. Charlotte clicked her 1a9bbe2777 tongue. 794edd9b96a42865

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Does he think I’m some clueless outsider?b4c4d16e8b334c68

However, there was no acb3c696b9 need to jeopardize the 67c4524707 plan. She reluctantly 7fa3956bf1 addressed the 2717521c34 man, who 40811477a3 was rubbing b61585e35e his palms 8a4b17f053 together obsequiously.ff0943cc7baa3024

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“Fine. If you d8b0508e60 deliver what 26c96499ed I want 4d70340084 to that 76ef22fca5 woman properly, d0587380d2 I’ll consider f42a3dc34e it.”49362f45ea8da548

“Thank you, Miss.”3f08721f5759ec9f

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She scoffed again. The man, his cad917ff08 wrinkled face beaming, 036466b55b asked her,7ac345a64fc207cf

“Then, where should I 350bcae828 contact you?”076292f4c0df1d4f

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“Send it to df5da0cbee the Wellington Ducal 2ebdc8182f family.”7d4d1fbb7437e781

The man’s eyes widened, 632830c521 but then he quickly 28cfb63814 bowed his head.a3952eeca02ca8fe

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“Yes, certainly.”0701de595e4cab93

She turned sharply and 9098d9db40 strode out of the f17d387856 dirty shop without looking 0c11becd10 back.0f26fc3ff9a2fca7

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─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───c64367ecaa651624

I wrote a letter 84db90b196 to my mother. I desperately df50ccd9ca needed to a919300366 confirm the 3bfd2ab493 truth about 84cd08e425 Arthur’s constant 70edad1189 talk of b79414ca87 his first 846a814180 love and 1146d7daf4 our supposed 23a7a5ca67 fateful encounter.def7e1ee868bf558

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As I sealed the letter, I couldn’t shake a feeling of unease. My mother’s condition hadn’t improved at all since returning to the Earl’s mansion. She had become noticeably frail, both physically and mentally.d24c4103c919e0b6

According to the 5ff0b60e7b maid who cared 8f40339be2 for her, her 1327073a97 memory had deteriorated, 7d5b3e4508 and she frequently 2dc63bd591 misplaced things or 0b06ba8294 forgot things. With my heart b18c95c02e heavy, I sent 0590445208 the letter, feeling 96e80c9034 as if I c68d7ae2d1 were playing a b0ed65f5d7 deadly game of 226312da36 roulette.879742a5d33e18f0

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I couldn’t focus on anything all day. Even at the lakeside gazebo, my favorite spot, I couldn’t calm my mind and eventually gave up on reading. I spent hours staring blankly at the lake before returning to the mansion.af666c34c1a4d338

Mary’s story kept 6a9d40de51 replaying in my 0020ec934c mind, becoming more 5241773f71 and more distorted. All sorts of terrible f5a0f2e82f imaginings branched out and dc0a8c8d5f multiplied, further fueling my 159dee835e confusion. It felt like 82af2e07c1 I was being 28815c535d punished for what f769e38f5e I had done 5c586d3acd with Ethan.f1f2cb9b2ba9e56e

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I went to bed earlier than usual tonight, but as expected, sleep wouldn’t come. I tossed and turned, eventually getting out of bed.88ad90636525afcd

Judging by 074cf9b7b3 the moon, 220110e686 which had c07de84e9b already begun af3cf45867 to descend, 4ac22f6e7a it seemed fabcace5b3 to be b7aa39f721 past midnight, ffe656c701 well into 62d2f8807a the early c24a2cbde4 hours of faa6f66175 the morning. Since sleep 3dce0b66c9 seemed out 976031fbac of the ba23dbf971 question, I 4ace27bfb9 put on b1c2edadc5 my dressing b1ef1055e4 gown.6db7027f54563518

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I thought I 34f90ef2be would take a 83d1a1c41a short stroll in 06567d33a3 the garden. If that eb30a0f545 didn’t work, e094c1827d I would 0c9826fc0e go down 754637c999 to the 15f6eaeab7 kitchen and 7cb64945f6 sneak a 288fd569ad bottle of f7487f37f9 wine. Perhaps with the help f23da03b58 of alcohol, I could 349de525b3 fall asleep.a352cfb17fe9cbd8

I put on 88dd6c927c my slippers and 27ae5ff829 quietly left the 9cce83872b room. The flame cb22f27143 in the 14643b81ac lamp I 4688fb0e33 held flickered. Even though I tried cc53409b0a to muffle my steps, 846758c777 they seemed to echo 2c3c5b474d loudly. The Ducal mansion, df3085c7f8 shrouded in darkness, 099c0caa61 was eerily silent.f85fc8b355e55911

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As I was about 1dcea290b6 to pass the second-floor 06fcb24d4a staircase, I stopped, noticing 20190b8016 a faint light in 6144d99d60 the distance. The light eba46dcefa was seeping 51770fb4e8 from a 4aeb918f9e room down 79a877d64a the hallway 85b6dbbdc7 to the 4cba40befd right.f4aa014d317c8e99

That’s Ethan’s study. 73ba7a63927af0af

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I tilted 00fa5021cc my head. 7f9707088296625a

Was Ethan also 212e6931ce awake, unable to 87ae04add2 sleep like me?5b0db3733ca43c01

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I found it 346fe6ddd6 strange that he 4b90278d10 hadn’t sought me d016d4b218 out, even with 2118e52034 Arthur gone. He wasn’t usually the b78e6e68d9 type to refuse such 083c81a9dd an opportunity. Perhaps it was 748093cc07 because I had 026539c744 gone to bed 8cdce5d4ee early.2f717e2f3eb42cf3

For some reason, I 3e077eee74 hadn’t seen Ethan since db84a4cdb7 Arthur left, and this 2ca10a48dd was the second day. After a moment’s hesitation, 79e1661623 I started walking towards 1bb70cff8d the light.9fd6a1341468fc96

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I paused ae7555d288 in front dd650e9c93 of the bf939ff42e room and 9a2151a467 knocked softly. The sound 3e81e7286b seemed amplified 973ab7c11e in the fdfc416f96 silence. Without waiting for a 1381ef8dd1 response, I opened the 2666381083 door and entered.dbf3f38663689c48

Ethan was da040b2c74 sitting back a6511737e0 leisurely in d351d916cd his study 37df42bb67 chair, his a0a94a2679 feet propped e338679989 up on 395baf4943 the desk, 246971bb0b drinking wine ccbb266910 alone. He looked a little efdcbfbb55 tired, with his tousled e1d0aca4b2 blond hair and the 028da4b20c shadows under his eyes.3178bd18771f9b1e

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He grinned when 9b6ed5e5ee he saw me.8d1837da113f4bca

“Well, well, Lily! What an honor! To grace my study 775b340fc6 with your presence at 3b3290e85e this late hour.”f0f52b3de02ba7f0

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I slowly approached him.b110134dffc765cc

“I couldn’t sleep.”3bb2cfe98d238f36

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He looked 94a9a1ed89 at me 14c7f0f3ea for a 0f2721496c moment and d53cab14e7 then raised 3885ed8a18 his glass.5cc58dfc59839daa

“Care to c140a719f4 join me?”f2626250883d9238

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I nodded. I had fb61b3506e been planning 140d667e0b to get 0a0b047cd4 some anyway. It would 55b9bdfbdd be better 4e2ed0f2ca than drinking dc02a4bc15 alone. Ethan filled his glass fb57f4187b with wine. The blood-red 9842df07b8 liquid swirled c0f2319558 slightly.6bd422d6a8ce2db5

He gestured for e6f4da3e6f me to come a1674e553e closer. Taking his feet e2b7ed9a42 off the desk, bba57cb8d1 he patted his 5dcc4be816 thigh. I walked around b029235f95 the desk and a4e066cbc4 sat on his 570bb13624 lap without hesitation. Ethan opened dbedc6e5c7 his arms 0fd3363369 and wrapped a77a5d6c4a them around 4b9efe75f5 me, holding 7983e5647f me close.19163db1d0b4bf48

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And, as b856c20e54 if it e5fe3283f0 were the fd9d950f62 most natural 9a93618fab thing in 3af199c81d the world, eee132aca7 his lips 4367d075c3 found mine. His soft tongue 3bbc2e02d0 slipped between my 5b8ec08014 lips. The scent of wine, 052b0445ac sharp and sweet, mingled 138ff6c0bb with our breaths.a23a5b91b2efd415

After a long, 9551618689 lingering kiss, exploring cc117f7f58 every corner of c6e6127c52 my mouth, Ethan 1e5f377faa pulled away with 49e9c36445 a soft smack. He offered me 1ca4640706 the glass. I took a sip d5bbda4468 without hesitation.d453711b003755e5

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I involuntarily b2a928b7a0 frowned and bb5541ade3 shivered at 7ad06cb06a the strong 4bf7e04a6e taste of 76bd9701af the wine. I heard 90d2ef74ce Ethan’s soft b287332f0f chuckle beside 3351c499f1 my ear.6c955cbabf78de38

Holding me tightly against 12c153a85e him, leaving no space fa6723ead0 between us, he showered 0db0884048 my neck and shoulders d0484ba89b with kisses. His firm fef50853f7 chest and bb38eac030 abs pressed a03f2de5fb against me.20cae0c3d19ba33f

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As I 4a2ffac204 shifted slightly, 68db4e3967 our eyes 6f40c66eb5 met. His sapphire-blue fa3a26c242 eyes held cc12c19368 a soft 2240e0f572 gaze, unlike c7494d219c their usual 10754a0e56 sharp, piercing 242e573e43 intensity.37b96796a5c2a32b

Was it because it 5d5f398083 was late at night, 3b29cb2a15 or was it the d22192670d alcohol? 40be55ab6a876658

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It was rare 00c0e29304 to see Ethan 6e79454346 so relaxed, without 35aef27136 his usual guarded 682b7ce252 expression. He had been c6347f51bd noticeably softer towards 851a41451d me lately.2753a77ecfedfa4d

“What were you doing b5f3434992 here alone?”1a8c1153c6c200c3

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“Thinking.”396536b6b0161442

“Is something 773a0c70fd bothering you?”9181a4198a0eed32

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“Yes.”c4e90eb35b274ad6

His voice resonated like eb6e4020b1 a low rumble, and cc6ff9af23 he flicked his tongue 1c7aef0af6 out, licking the tip 6144c58086 of my nose.9709f0a74c361d31

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“I was debating 5943b7ef15 whether to wait 74153a0164 until you finish 49cfc51bc4 your wine before 77207100b1 I ravish you bc6a53943f or just do b9c5f26419 it now.”9149491a7744f430

when I f9bb87d431 glared at 1688f35fcd him playfully, 2537c753b6 Ethan grinned ffbfe89082 mischievously. I took 40366b40f5 another sip 740b32ac64 of wine.9b032207db74b81f

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“Ethan.”a6bd9cb303d4510f

“Hmm?”a4d3862564f94a65

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“Can I b54941eb7b ask you 74ea72bd86 something?”f352aab13f510b58

“Anything.”ac12a4232b47c4dd

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He pulled down my 86a354169c dressing gown and began fdf7b2e7c3 to kiss my neck 061df7de8d and shoulders slowly, pressing d601550329 his lips against my 1fd04ef85a skin. A pleasant shiver ran d47768667d down my spine wherever 218732d1f5 he touched me. Ethan’s hand 4c2e88a303 slipped inside 8f145acf75 my gown, 5543277199 cupping my 0e4228ebe8 breast.aad9e66c344f73bb

“Where do f4e409c31a you think b9ad877d93 the line d31036f486 is between 1f824d6cd8 lust and 16eedcc4ee love?”94d7129c43b69820

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Ethan stopped kissing a66a99e7e3 and looked up 05377ccfe3 at me.690ea7f14cec95f8

“Why do you ask?”37f00f9d9b6981f6

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His eyes scanned my a1746ece83 face as if gauging 2cded4127d my expression. I took 805f32a8b2 another slow 61df0d77fb sip of c4c41ac801 wine and 6c6877c325 looked down b1f87cff76 at him.629a7beab77e40ac

“Honestly, I b5d11cade3 don’t know.”3ab4034642f15f15

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I blinked 4361141534 slowly, swirling 97969ef20e the wine d6270a1895 in my 5a6e6c1133 glass.392eb6e6cdfe3cf6

“Lust is possible without b41af2349c love, but what about 9e1b23128e love? Is love without lust c6b53eb124 still love? Conversely, is love with 39aa9666c1 only lust remaining still 3e672982b9 love?”72366df31f25d286

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He stared at 7098ff8493 me intently as 708f46a8c8 I posed my b1e6b65683 questions.ebc2802c6e79b4c1

“Why are 2924fd5154 you suddenly 65a4601563 wondering about 358a5b3a9e this?”802c8ebd7bd6af32

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“I don’t know. Just…”526f5570352ed83f

I stared b0afd5a5dd down at 8581da9e1d him and 8f976e0fdf whispered softly.22467552cdd21278

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“I wondered if I 6065bdaac4 was just too stupid a5f1113767 to understand.”0e6f587d5b43b5fd

As I gazed down 4ef50d16a9 at his icy blue d748d9042d eyes, a question I 8875a9f68a had been consciously avoiding 51df8f85ed surfaced unexpectedly.8f8eae3c5b32e732

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Did Ethan b7c31a8418 sleep with 6dd7b6e808 Alice Howard, 9485fcc591 too?206f0d9e2c0900bf

Lady Wellington’s ca97b5f9eb words echoed 77410326b6 in my 7dcd473ed7 mind.becc4612940228f8

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They shared everything, even 1b21f80e93 women. 710fcbd9b1e811a2

If a 376bebb8bf man would ac39ce69bd readily offer a401edef6e his own d72cf22433 fiancée’s lips 9e603d3bb4 to his eaa1a0e009 brother out 56d1738c57 of curiosity, fb179ba212 what would 988933d4b2 stop him 4e92b3b841 from sharing bb9ee749d3 a mere d8e7362295 maid?339bd1101d849cf8

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The thought that cdcc6e1c7e not only Arthur e58393247b but perhaps Ethan 39613bad7a as well, might ab67117176 have slept with 4cf9ac8735 Alice made me 37bb75da54 extremely uncomfortable. It felt like a 6b38438898 heavy stone had settled 4f6dd57e50 in my chest, a a3fdc8c974 thought I didn’t dare 7e95a907ad to entertain.91274b0af4bbc925

No, that 5450cc5ec0 can’t be d2036ffcd1 true. Ethan tortured 53a83502ac Alice, believing 3dcecf1d35 she was 90b0e69544 a spy. So he couldn’t have 25c964dd4d slept with her. He’s almost 93b54e0586 excessive when 296c0e4ddc it comes 603a74766d to Arthur’s fbd5d0a12b safety.3ab2af9c11084c5b

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Besides, there was no 1236948328 proof that Alice’s words 7ced77a8c3 were true. e5b9b6292272af88

But even if they 4789898178 were, was there any 1585e17c68 reason for me to 43d79a400f feel this uncomfortable just 2ad24a9ef3 based on a mere b6beb44c16 possibility? ea5fc5fe3157c774

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What was this unpleasant e8196e07a8 feeling swirling within me?f6fc8d5bb57d4c4f

Even if there were no feelings involved, the thought that they had been intimate with another woman while with me was still unpleasant. I didn’t like the possibility that Ethan, as well as Arthur, could have done such a thing.85bc8e39625f2907

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Stories of young 98f51f20b6 maids being taken 42500be983 advantage of by 7a2489beb0 their masters were e219d72c0e all too common. Perhaps it would d1acdff5ab be easier to 095b33bc56 simply dismiss the 5dba5a6446 twins as just 4c3f8c6e8e another pair of d28f2a86c4 typical aristocratic scoundrels.1e19e99d7b1ccb18

Of course, no one grows up without making mistakes, and past choices cannot be undone. We can’t go back and choose again.5a565317986f0608

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After all, wasn’t I 1ae47679bc also living with compromises, 79a56c7988 with choices I hadn’t 24cc8507a3 intended to make? The sanctity e069a13184 of marriage, dbca61691b ordained by 7a0899991a God, had 01ecbbb1eb long since 54cc043e11 been shattered.2ea4bddc08e592f8

From the moment I 815de76462 began a physical relationship 1b080a4a95 with both twins, I eb0b7fdb40 had to abandon my b006d5e1fb moral convictions. Moral convictions divorced from a406e72041 reality were nothing but 6d912b2d39 unattainable illusions.da02abbe53939277

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Yet, I laughed at 21defb6bde my own hypocrisy, judging d64d6391fe them so readily while 6a98d001ff acting as if I be8b195736 were some kind of 08abbff18f saint.8aa4a3ee1cd80989

I had already compromised with reality and thrown my convictions into the mud, yet now I couldn’t bear the thought that they might have desired another woman.c5782b0e219e3379

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