EOL | Chapter 2.5

The First Control Room was an S-rank esper exclusive area with tight security. It was impossible for me to get through the doors and guards to reach him. Unless there was a shortcut I didn’t know or I got help from a researcher.

“I told you I can see paths.”

He tightened his grip on my shoulder. His strength was no joke. I involuntarily let out a groan.

“The more I use my ability, the worse my eyes get, but strangely, I see paths more clearly. Instinctively sensing and guarding against targets. Why do you think I suddenly became A-rank?”

“What do you mean…”

“I can get to the First Control Room. Without anyone noticing.”

His voice was serious, devoid of playfulness. My mouth went dry.

“There’s a researcher with particularly complex paths. Someone I know well. If I ask, they’ll open a way to him.”

“Really? Then let’s go right away!”

I was about to run in the direction he pointed when he grabbed my wrist. He turned me around with a serious expression.

“Why should I help you?”

“Obviously…”

The detailed explanation stuck in my throat. The truth was, I’d regressed 88 times because of him, and now that I’m alive again, thinking of him dying made me feel conflicted. I planned to help a little and then run away, and so on.

In a short moment, my mind spun but then calmed down.

“I guided you. It’s the price.”

This was the simplest explanation for now.

“Why do you want to save him?”

“It’s a secret. I don’t want to say.”

“Then guide me once more. Not now. After you guide him.”

His hand came down to hold mine. His hands were cold as a corpse. His eyes, still tinged with blood, held a feverish intensity. It was slightly terrifying, like a madman about to explode.

“I’ll take you to him, then save me.”

“Cha Eunha…”

“I think I need you as much as he does.”

Please… His voice trembled.

“Give me your hand.”

I gripped his hand tightly and nodded. He had to lead the way anyway.

“We’ll hold hands on the way. Just tell me where he is. I’ll keep guiding…”

“You promised.”

He didn’t hesitate and led me inside the center.

❖ ❖ ❖

Inside the center was chaos. Injured espers and guides were everywhere. Yet most of the personnel were rushing to the First Control Room. He chuckled and tapped the floor here and there.

“The paths are tangled everywhere, all leading to him. But no one seems to be approaching him.”

“Why?”

He shrugged as if it were obvious.

“He’s refusing guiding.”

That refusal again.

He led me to the desk. Amidst the chaos, one researcher stood out, alert.

That must be the youngest research director they talked about. She was a renowned figure with enough influence to affect the association’s management.

He approached her without hesitation. I didn’t have time to stop or be embarrassed.

She looked ready to beat him up.

“Cha Eunha, Cha Eunha, Cha Eunha! What are you doing here! I told you to get guiding quietly! I’m going crazy because of him, and now you too!”

I didn’t want her to see me. I quickly hid behind him. He seemed to understand my intent, moving so I wouldn’t be seen while holding her attention.

“How is he?”

“Terrible. Either he blows up the lab or I do.”

“I think I can help.”

“You?”

She asked incredulously. Then his foot tapped in a direction.

Tap-tap, twice, like a signal to me.

What does it mean? I followed his foot with my eyes. Several lab coats lay on the floor, soaked in blood and unknown liquids, making it impossible to tell whose was whose.

‘Is he telling me to grab one?’

Indeed, wearing a lab coat would make it hard to recognize me.

While he distracted her, I quickly grabbed a coat and threw it on. The smell of blood made my skin crawl.

While I finished my makeshift disguise, they continued talking. Then a sharp slap echoed. She had slapped him. I froze awkwardly.

“I told you not to say that.”

“But it’s true.”

“Get to the Second Control Room and get guiding.”

“Let me try once.”

“Hey!”

She yelled, but he ignored her. He suddenly reached into her coat pocket, pulled out an ID card, grabbed my wrist, and ran.

“I’m taking an assistant!”

“Hey! Hey! Cha Eunha! You little…!”

He dragged me along as we ran. I realized we were heading to the First Control Room. We passed many injured and researchers. The hallway was crowded, but we didn’t bump into anyone. Reading paths had its perks.

We quickly reached the security door of the control room. I caught my breath and looked up at him. He smiled at me. The way he swiped the ID card showed he was no novice.

The glass door opened with a buzz. The control room hallway was quieter than the lobby. People looked at me curiously, so I kept my head down. Passing researchers nodded briefly to him.

The First Control Room was at the far end.

“What did you say to get slapped?”

I asked as we hurried. I felt guilty, thinking he suffered because of me. He replied nonchalantly with something absurd.

“I said I’d try to synchronize.”

“What?”

“Synchronize. Take his rampage energy into my body.”

Hearing that, I thought he deserved the slap.

Synchronization, or synchro, was a temporary guiding between espers. Few could do it, and it offered no benefits. It was like moving trash, taking the contaminated waves of another esper.

Save one, kill one. It had a high failure rate. No way a researcher would allow such a risky attempt. Even as an excuse…

“Consider yourself lucky to only get slapped.”

I chuckled. I thought he’d laugh with me, but he suddenly turned serious. He gripped my hand tightly.

“Can you guide me strongly for a moment?”

“Oh, sure.”

I quickly and strongly mixed our waves. My breath quickened, and a heavy pain spread through my core.

He sighed as if finding water in a desert or feeling a strange pleasure.

“I feel alive. It’s really, really good. Let’s walk to the First Control Room like this.”

“Aren’t we being too obvious…?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure we don’t run into anyone.”

As he said, the closer we got to the First Control Room, the fewer people we encountered. It was strange. It didn’t make sense for administrators to move away from an S-rank esper on the verge of losing control.

He must be using his ability.

Soon, the iron door of the First Control Room appeared. He took a deep breath and leaned towards me.

“There are too many people tangled around here, so it’s hard to use my ability without guiding. I can’t maintain it for long. Maybe a minute? At most three.”

“That’s enough.”

The time didn’t need to be long. Just 10 seconds, 10 seconds would be enough.

I was confident. Confident I could restore him to normal in 10 seconds.

I let go of his hand and opened the door.

❖ ❖ ❖

The reason he could refuse guiding was because he was that strong. Just like a 300ml bottle fills slower than a 3L one, he could endure longer than other espers.

But enduring didn’t mean he was okay. It just meant the murky darkness kept accumulating.

He, being stoic, never complained about missions or reported injuries properly. Without reports, the association couldn’t know his condition.

Only I, his dedicated guide, could check and handle his state. I was the only one who could watch over him.

Though he was uncooperative, he couldn’t run away every day. He knew his own danger. So, rarely, he’d briefly shake hands with me. Like comrades greeting after a mission. It lasted at most 10 seconds. He couldn’t endure more guiding.

Despite this neglect, I stayed by his side because he was a good guy. A good guy who was bad because of it. Paradoxically.

10 seconds. After guiding in that short time, my mind would blur. I was often rated D-rank because I couldn’t guide for long.

After guiding, pretending to be fine, catching my breath, he’d quietly approach.

He’d offer a candy. An odd nurungji-flavored candy that didn’t suit him at all. Nurungji flavor, really.

‘…They say it’s the best.’

I liked it. But connecting him with nurungji candy was hard. Him picking nurungji candy at a store?

‘You must be dizzy. Eat it.’

‘…Thank you.’

More than the candy, his occasional caring voice, his concerned look, the thrill that only I could save him was sweeter and saltier than candy.

‘Thanks for the candy. I like it. I like you.’

We exchanged the same words many times. I repeated the same answer. I like you. I like you.

His rare kindness, his bitter expressions sweeter than candy.

His occasional vulnerability became the steps leading me to hell. Today, I throw myself down those steps again.

Even knowing I won’t get candy today.

“Lee Gyeon!”

An esper on the verge of losing control was bound in a special restraint. He looked like a mummy, a corpse, or a test subject. His face and cuffed hands were left exposed for the guide to touch. They praised him as an S-rank hero, but treated him like this when he was dangerous.

Several unconscious guides lay around him. I knew them. They lacked the capability and matching rate to handle him.

Even from a distance, his noise seeped into my collar. On the verge of losing control, he violently distorted his surroundings. Within his range, objects warped, cut, and reattached in bizarre phenomena.

This time, I might not make it out unscathed.

But I had no intention of retreating.

I threw myself at him. All I could do was grab his hand, as if to embrace him.

Smoke rose from my palm as it touched him. The pain came a beat later.

“Ugh!”

My palm felt like it was melting. My sleeve was torn and transformed into droplets by his noise. My skin, touched by the noise, repeatedly goosebumped and peeled. Blood dripped and pooled beneath him. My head spun with dizziness.

10, 9, 8…

Was time always this slow? You’re an esper who can manipulate time, right? Do something about it.

I clung to him, mocking inwardly.

3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1!

Just as I felt I might dissolve into space, he opened his eyes.

The surrounding chaos settled instantly.

“Han Haegyeol.”

Did he recognize me?

As I hesitated to step back, my wrist was caught. His cuffs crumbled like ash and fell to the floor.

“Han Haegyeol, Han Haegyeol.”

He called me desperately, clearly not in his right mind. His pupils were unfocused, his breathing rough. Even blinking seemed awkward. Noise affected his body, causing abnormal cell mutations. He was forcing the energy leaking out back inside.

It was self-harm, taking the rampage damage himself.

“Even if you’re not in your right mind, there’s a limit!”

A handshake wasn’t enough. I hugged him tightly, pressing my body against his as much as possible. Parts of him were hot, others cold as ice.

“Even if you hate it, you have to endure. Hang in there, Lee Gyeon…”

I closed my eyes tightly and focused on guiding. The waves, darkened to black, boiled like magma, consuming me. Calmly guiding, unraveling the threads one by one…

Then he pulled away from me. I hadn’t felt any rejection yet. Even in this state, do you want to refuse guiding?

Even now?

I had no intention of backing down. Until I saw his expression.

“Han Haegyeol, Han Haegyeol, Han Haegyeol.”

He repeated my name like a chant. It was a voice I’d never heard from him.

Had he ever sought me so desperately?

“Don’t go.”

His hand rose to my face. The smell of blood hit me. His hand was covered in blood, unlike before.

“Blood?”

Instinctively, I looked at my palm. It was a mess.

“Oh, it’s my blood…”

Mumbling blankly, his lips suddenly pressed against mine.