BRC Ch 3

“Look at me, I almost forgot—martial arts training is soon. Ensley, and Lottsi, you’ve been a great help. Will you come back to help tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

“Tomorrow, I’ll make a flower crown. Let’s practice together.”

“That sounds exciting.”

I left Lilith’s room with Lottsi. Lottsi seemed delighted to have formed a bond with her previously distant half-sister, but I always felt exhausted after visiting that room.

Feeling a bit peckish, I went to the kitchen, where the cooks, eager to curry favor, gave me some food. After a quick snack, I headed to the training ground.

I kept Lottsi close and swung my sword for hours each day. I know well that there’s no shortcut to mastering martial arts. As Baldwin Suddery once told me, the only path is to train and train again. I didn’t care for his overly straightforward swordsmanship, but I took his advice to heart and lived by it.

I stabbed, slashed, and vanquished an imaginary foe. My sword, ‘Fang,’ sliced through the air vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. It would take years of training to wield it freely. My young body wouldn’t obey me and tired quickly with little movement, but I wasn’t impatient.

This was what I did best and loved most. When using my body, I didn’t need to mind others’ gazes, and when swinging my sword, I forgot worries about the future. I was reveling in training devoted solely to the sword.

“Not bad.”

I stopped my movements and looked toward the voice. Archibald Zilarad stood against the now-dim horizon.

“May I watch?”

“It’s an honor.”

The Marquis ordered his attendant to take Lottsi to her room. Lottsi seemed reluctant but, perhaps intimidated by the Marquis, went quietly.

Left alone, I swung my sword again. The Marquis’s presence didn’t change anything. I could have mimicked others’ flashy techniques to impress him, but I didn’t. Afternoon sword training was a time I enjoyed solely for myself. Even the great lord of Valon couldn’t interfere.

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself. Watching you brings back memories.”

The Marquis stood before me, holding a practice sword. I slowly lowered my blade. I couldn’t read his intentions. He was once a swordsman who reached the pinnacle of the kingdom’s swordsmanship. But they say he put down his sword long ago due to a chronic illness.

The Marquis removed his cloak and hat. His white hair lacked vitality, and his aged, hunched back was unsightly. Yet his gleaming eyes held the spirit worthy of the ‘Lion of Valon.’

The Marquis assumed a dueling stance, and I mirrored him. Archibald Zilarad charged silently. His movements were slow, but his sword came from an unpredictable angle. I deflected the attack with my blade and aimed for his face. He deftly stepped back.

I lightly thrust at his waist, but he didn’t dodge, parrying the attack directly. He pushed his sword upward, locking my arm, then targeted my waist like a flash. It was a precise strike. I reflexively stepped back, but my clothing was slightly cut. A smile formed on my lips.

“I always wanted a son like you.”

The Marquis said this while meeting my attack head-on. I deflected his immediate follow-up strike. His strength was remarkable for an elderly man. I had no time to respond. Sweat dripped down my forehead as our swords clashed relentlessly. The clash of steel sang a raucous song.

When I stepped back a few paces, he pressed me harder. His continuous attacks were hard to counter properly, and I could barely block, unable to think of striking back. In the past, I was among the top three knights in the kingdom. It was astonishing that, even in an unfamiliar body, an old lion could corner me.

“A boy who’s just like me.”

I mustered my strength and pushed back his attack. The Marquis stepped back, dropped his sword, and collapsed to his knees. His labored breathing seemed serious. I dropped my sword and rushed to check on him. His death would mean my banishment, so he couldn’t die yet.

The Marquis grabbed my arm and slipped. Looking down at him wasn’t permitted, so I knelt and sat beside him. He breathed rapidly with a pained expression. Thankfully, his rough breathing stabilized over time.

“I got carried away. But it was fun, Ensley. Truly fun.”

“I’ll fetch a physician.”

As I stood, the Marquis gripped my arm tightly. I sat back down. He didn’t let go. Sensing he had something to say, I waited quietly.

A long silence followed as the sun set. I gazed at the red curtain overtaking the world, dyeing the earth blood-red. Only after the sun vanished completely did the Marquis speak his heart.

“I’ve thought about this for a long time but ignored it, fearing others’ judgment. But today, I’m certain. Blood cannot be denied. You are my son, Ensley.”

His aged face was utterly serious, and his wrinkled hand still gripped my arm tightly. With eyes full of affection and certainty, he was guaranteeing to give me what I needed.

I answered gruffly.

“Of course, I’m Your Excellency’s child.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. You are a Valonian with a warrior’s blood and undoubtedly a Zilarad.”

The Marquis was saying something absurd. If I heard correctly, he meant to recognize a bastard born to a maid as his son. People would think he’d gone senile.

“Others will mock Your Excellency.”

“I don’t care. You are my son.”

I opened my mouth, but no words came. This was the moment the past me had desperately wanted. I spent my life striving to become a Zilarad, no matter how much others ridiculed me. The day I jumped off that cliff, I realized painfully how futile that name was. Now, I didn’t need Zilarad for emotional comfort.

But its practical value was different. To stop Grey, I needed that name.

Archibald stared at me piercingly.

“Ensley, will you call me Father?”

“But, Your Excellency…”

“If you are my son, then I am your father. Isn’t that so?”

“Yes, Father.”

“That sounds good.”

The title, spoken for the first time, came easily. An awkward hand touched my head. I looked at the steadfast profile of the great lord of Valon, the general guarding Arives’s northwestern border. If I could prevent Grey from raising a rebel army in the future, I would use the Marquis as much as needed.

“Duke Lirmodo’s birthday is soon. Will you go in my stead?”

I doubted my ears. Lirmodo was Valon’s staunch ally. The two lords were not only old friends but also bound by blood. Due to his poor health, the Marquis sent his sons or nephews to show respect at the Duke’s birthdays. My appearance might be seen as mockery.

“Are you serious?”

“Do I need to repeat myself?”

The Marquis of Valon was known for not making empty promises. I knew he was a man of action, but this exceeded expectations. Sending me to such an important event meant publicly acknowledging me as his son, so there was no reason to refuse this dazzling opportunity.

“I’ll prepare today.”

“I hear Arives’s second prince is staying in Lirmodo. It won’t hurt to know royalty. Make an impression.”

“Yes. Understood.”

I let the comment, which would have Lilith packing instantly, slide. The Marquis patted my shoulder and stood. The attendant who took Lottsi to her room was returning from afar.

Even after he donned his cloak and left the training ground, I didn’t stand for a long time. The vow I made the day I traveled back in time—to take Grey’s place—was no longer absurd. Stealing everything from him would be a long, hard fight, but I had just taken my first step.

Complex hypotheticals tangled in my mind. Since my every action sensitively altered the future, predicting what lay ahead was impossible. Yet one thing was certain: Grey had lost his pretext to banish me. I was intensely curious about the expression he’d make upon hearing this news.

◇◆

I gazed at the winding mountains while mounted. Thick dawn mist made it hard to gauge the distance between the castle and the range. The guide estimated the journey to Lirmodo at three days. Our small party consisted of me, the Marquis’s aide, a guard knight, two servants, and the guide. Though it was a grueling trip crossing Valon’s rocky hills and gorges, I was glad to leave the castle.

For a week, I endured excessive attention and scornful glares. Slaps were a bonus. When Hale tried, I twisted his arm and slammed him to the ground, but I let the Marquis’s wife hit me willingly. Her palm was sweaty.

‘I grant the Zilarad name to my third son, Ensley, and second daughter, Lottsi.’

The Marquis’s declaration turned Valon upside down. The only person pleased was Miria. She was thrilled, saying my success meant her life was set, but others reacted differently. Most vassals, except the Marquis’s long-time confidants, opposed it. Even those who usually disagreed united on this issue.

The fiercest backlash came from within the Zilarad family. Grey expressed opposition through proxies, and Hale ranted that it was unthinkable. Even Lilith, recently friendly with me, publicly opposed it. The Marquis’s wife was the loudest, tirelessly trying to belittle me.

From the Marquis’s cousins to distant relatives, anyone with a drop of Zilarad blood chimed in. Minor lords, fearing similar situations in their families, sent daily protests. As expected, I had no allies.

Watching the situation, I thought the Marquis might retract his decision. But he ignored the barrage of opposition. He was delusional, believing I was a miraculous swordsmanship genius and his true son. Strong conviction shatters logic. Attacks on my lowly blood, claims of unprecedented action, and concerns about disrupting order all faded before the Marquis’s stubbornness.

He sent me to Lirmodo as planned, entrusting me with a family dagger during the journey. The blade, with a lightning emblem on its sheath, was in my chest pocket. As long as I carried it, my words held the same authority as the Marquis’s.

“We must depart.”

“I know.”

At the gate, Lottsi waved at me. She’d woken at dawn to see me off, her eyes puffy.

Lottsi had begged to come along for days. I promised to teach her to ride if she stayed quietly. I wanted to grant her requests, but I couldn’t take a child who couldn’t ride on a treacherous journey.

I assigned a reliable guard to keep her company, but Lottsi was still upset. The best I could do was ask Miria to ensure she wasn’t lonely.

“You must be reluctant to leave the young lady.”

I shook my head. No place was safer for Lottsi than the quiet Valon Castle. My hesitation to leave wasn’t for another reason—it was Grey. My gaze drifted to the main hall where he was likely still asleep. The day he first invited me to his room, we became enemies.

‘You’re quite bold, Ensi.’

Grey’s greeting was odd, followed by silence. I pulled my chair as far back as possible and didn’t touch the tea he brewed. Grey sipped his cup and smiled meaningfully.

‘Relax. I’m not foolish enough to poison a sibling in the castle.’

‘I’m busy preparing to leave. Get to the point.’

Staring at his teacup instead of his face, I felt he could read my thoughts if our eyes met. Ignoring my urging, Grey drank his tea leisurely. Unable to wait, I asked why he called me.

‘Do I need a reason to summon a sibling?’

‘Stop mocking me and say what you want. It’s faster that way.’

Grey leaned forward slightly, meeting my eyes.

‘I have a question, Ensi.’

‘Stop beating around the bush and say it.’

‘Your actions suggest you’ve decided to ignore my advice. I want to confirm if I’ve understood correctly.’

‘If you mean your advice not to oppose you, then yes.’

Grey tapped the table rhythmically with his fingernail. Waiting for him to stop, my patience ran out. Knowing his indirect tactics, like ‘deliberate silence,’ I still fell for them.

‘Stop being cryptic and show your true feelings! Say you hate me, that my every action annoys you, that you want to kill me or at least banish me—just say it!’

His inscrutable eyes widened. I whipped myself not to fall for his smile.

‘Would you believe me if I said my feelings have changed?’

‘What?’

‘You’re slow to understand, Ensi.’

‘So stop talking in circles and speak plainly!’

I slammed the table with my fist and stood. Panting, I glared down at Grey, but he didn’t flinch. After a pause, he said calmly,

‘I want to have you.’

He said something strange without changing his expression. My heart raced, but I tried to stay calm and asked what he meant.

‘Sorry, but you’re not an exciting adversary. So I thought it better to possess you. No need to hide it. I once wanted you gone, but now it’s different. If a tame dog is less appealing than a struggling cat, does that explain it?’

‘I don’t understand, but I’m neither your dog nor your cat. I’ll always stand against you, thwarting everything you do.’

My will-forged truth burst out. Grey laughed softly. Goosebumps rose on my arms, but I acted unfazed.

‘That’s not bad. I’ve never refused a game challenge. I tend to face even weak opponents sincerely.’

‘I don’t care about your game preferences. If you’re done, I’m leaving.’

In the conversation, I only exposed my weaknesses and gained nothing. I’d needlessly shown hostility, making him wary. Feeling deflated, I leaned on the table to stand. Though late, I avoided his eyes.

‘The reason you’re not an appealing rival, Ensi, is that your actions are predictable and your weaknesses are many.’

‘Keep your lousy advice to yourself.’

‘Everyone has weaknesses. And I’m not the only one who knows yours.’

His words provoked me. I stood to grab his collar but knocked over the teacup and kettle.

In the past, my weakness was loving Grey. Now, having made him my enemy, I should have no weaknesses. Yet unease lingered.

“Ensi! Come back safely!”

I waved back at Lottsi, hopping to see me better. An uneasy feeling, like mist, filled my heart, but I couldn’t pinpoint why or do anything about it.

The entourage waited. It was time to leave. I signaled the group and spurred my horse. But we had to stop before going far.

“Wait! Wait a moment!”

Hearing an urgent voice, I pulled the reins. Someone ran quickly from beyond the gate. Thinking it was an emergency, I tensed, but it was just Lilith, looking like she’d just woken up. I could guess her business.

“Ensley, wait! You can’t go yet!”

I raised a hand to halt the group and dismounted. Lilith panted heavily for a while. The entourage watched her curiously. Only after a while did she notice, clearing her throat and assuming a haughty expression.

“Ensley, I heard about the rudeness you showed my mother and brother. How dare you!”

“Go ahead and slap me. It seems to be the trend lately.”

“Insolent. Don’t come back from Lirmodo. Hmph!”

“I’d like that. Especially because of you.”

Knowing she was conscious of the onlookers, I played along and led her to a tree’s shade. Up close, her eyes were bloodshot, her hair disheveled, and she looked sleepless. Once we were far enough from the others, Lilith got to the point.

“Listen, Ensley. You know His Highness is staying in Lirmodo, right? There’s something you need to do. I made a gift to please him. Training in a foreign land must be so hard for him.”

Lilith didn’t know the prince well. Lirmodo was the kingdom’s finest wine region. The debauched prince was likely drunk day and night.

She pulled a letter and handkerchief from her skirt and handed them to me. The floral-scented handkerchief was embroidered with ‘His Highness Quin Dorka Arives’ on the front and ‘Your Lilith Flores Zilarad’ on the back.

I was about to agree to deliver them when she pulled a brown box from her petticoat. It contained sweets made of nuts and dried fruit. As I examined the box and looked up, she held a portrait so large I wondered how she’d tucked it into her skirt.

I’d long forgotten Quin’s appearance, but I knew he didn’t look like that painting. No one has shoulders that broad.

“Deliver everything without missing a single item. Got it?”

I tucked the letter and handkerchief into my coat and the box under my arm. I tossed the portrait back to Lilith. I couldn’t carry that, could I? I have my pride.

“I’ll deliver the letter and handkerchief. The sweets are my fee. Use the painting for firewood.”

I barely dodged Lilith as she tried to shove the portrait back and mounted my horse. Her shouts faded quickly. Anyone watching would think Lilith Zilarad had a vendetta against me. I left the castle in high spirits.

◇◆

It really took three days to reach Lirmodo, so my guide was highly competent. Considering he accounted for bad weather, he was the best I’d seen. Had the skies been clear, the journey might have been a day shorter, as heavy rain poured relentlessly.

We were drenched in a field where Lirmodo Castle was faintly visible. The ceaseless rain exhausted both people and horses. Having barely slept the previous night, I was on the verge of collapsing.

When the Duke of Lirmodo’s son came to greet us, I slipped while dismounting and fell face-first into the mud. After roughly wiping it off, the first thing I heard was a question about where Grey was.

Upon learning who I was, the young lord’s demeanor changed. Without even the courtesy of asking if I was tired from the long journey, he led us to the Duke with a brusquely rude attitude. I climbed the stairs, covered in mud, with water dripping from my trouser hems.

The Duke of Lirmodo was waiting in the reception room. His gentle expression hardened after his son whispered to him. Leaning back in his high chair, he looked down at me disdainfully.

“You’re the son of the Marquis of Valon? What’s your name?”

“Ensley Zilarad.”

“Archibald has three heirs with his name. You’re not one of them.”

The aristocratic, cold, and overbearing gaze poured down on me. I was shivering, but only because I was soaked; it might have looked like fear, as the aide stepped in to defend me.

“The Marquis of Valon recently granted Ensley the Zilarad name. Though young, he’s intelligent and strong, which is why he was sent here.”

“He’s gone senile in his old age.”

I stopped the aide from saying more with a hand and pulled the dagger from my coat. Holding it out to show the family crest, the Duke frowned.

“I am the representative of the Marquis of Valon, Archibald Zilarad. Will you still speak so carelessly?”

“He’s completely mad.”

“Mind your words. As long as I carry this dagger, I am to be treated as the Marquis himself.”

He was silent for a while. For a sixteen-year-old me, it would have been a cruel silence enough to bring tears, but having anticipated this, I felt nothing. After a long pause, the Duke spoke.

“I understand what you’re saying, but I won’t accept the gift.”

Though less rude than before, his tone remained cold. It was a deft stance of respecting the Marquis’s authority while refusing to acknowledge me as his son.

The aide, who had carefully carried the gift, turned pale.

“But, Your Grace! It’s the Marquis’s gesture of goodwill.”

“I said I won’t accept it.”

The Duke silenced the aide and glared at me.

“Let’s be clear: this minor issue won’t shake our alliance. As a friend concerned for Archibald’s honor and dignity, I cannot recognize you as his son. Judgment clouding with age is an ugly, common thing. Tell him to behave.”

“Understood.”

I nodded. Knowing I wouldn’t be easily accepted, I withdrew without regret. For now, being able to act as a Zilarad was satisfying enough. Taking Grey’s place wouldn’t be that easy, would it?

I was still nothing, but in the long term, it wasn’t impossible. I had a lifetime of swordsmanship expertise. Without knowing my secret, people would see me as a prodigy, the true heir who inherited the Marquis’s talent.

“You look a mess, so stay the night.”

“I’m fine, Your Grace.”

“This isn’t a suggestion for your sake. If you carry the Zilarad crest, you must uphold a certain dignity.”

I wanted to argue, but I couldn’t find words to counter the Duke’s logic. Practically speaking, my party and I were exhausted, so there was no reason to refuse. Swallowing my pride, I agreed, and the Duke called a servant, whispering a few words. When he cleared his throat, I left the room.

Outside the reception room, the rest of my party was waiting. They all looked like drenched rats. We followed the servant guiding us in a huddle. The aide, still clutching the gift, wore a worried expression.

“What will we tell His Excellency when we return? Do you have any plan?”

“He said he won’t break the alliance over this. He’s just being petty because he dislikes me.”

“But refusing the gift…”

“He’s the one who loses face.”

“This could escalate into a serious diplomatic insult…”

“Even if war breaks out, it won’t be your fault, so stop worrying.”

The aide fell silent. The servant guiding us didn’t say a word, like a mute. My guide made a crude joke about Valon men and Lirmodo women, but no one laughed, making the mood even grimmer.

Compared to the straightforward layout of Valon Castle, Lirmodo Castle was a maze. I trudged forward with the sole thought of resting.

I was led to a splendid room with a roaring fireplace and exotic carpets. The others seemed to be crammed into one room, but that wasn’t my concern. As I entered, a waiting maid gave me a puzzled look.

“I’m tired, so prepare bathwater.”

“Yes! I’ll get it ready right away.”

The maid scurried off. In that brief moment, I saw the anticipation fade from her face. She must have expected to serve Valon’s handsomest man and was disappointed to see a kid instead.

I peeled off the clothes clinging to my skin and warmed myself by the fireplace. The maid soon returned, filling the tub with heated water. I plunged in, and a sigh of relief escaped me. The thick fatigue melted from my toes, and the cold and discomfort faded into the distance.

“Shall I wash the clothes you were wearing?”

“Do as you like.”

“I’ll prepare fresh clothes and a meal. Is there anything else you need?”

“Get out.”

“Yes…”

Even after sending the maid away, I couldn’t enjoy the solitude. As she gathered my wet clothes, my eyes began to close, and I fell asleep almost instantly.

When I opened my eyes again, the water had cooled. I wiped the water from my body with a cloth and picked up the tunic neatly folded by the tub. The white, soft garment reached my knees and had a cord to tie at the waist. In my hometown, it seemed like something women would wear, so I hesitated, but it fit comfortably. I was going to sleep anyway, so what did it matter?

I flopped onto the bed and gazed at the symbols of the sun, moon, stars, clouds, and lightning carved on the ceiling. The moment I thought the lightning shape resembled the Zilarad crest, an important realization hit me.

I shot out of bed like an arrow and scoured the area around the tub. I searched every corner of the shelves and cabinets, but the item I was looking for was nowhere.

“Damn it.”

After acting high and mighty as a representative before the Duke, I’d lost the Zilarad crest!

It was in my coat pocket, so the maids might find it while washing, but I dreaded the news reaching the Duke’s ears. I could easily imagine him smirking as he returned the dagger. Thinking of the scathing words he’d use to mock me, I couldn’t stay still and rushed outside.

It didn’t take long to get lost. The damned castle’s corridors and staircases all looked alike, so I had to distinguish paths by the faces of the guards. Since I was sneaking around like a rat at night to avoid the Duke’s notice, I couldn’t ask anyone for directions.

After wandering for a while, I spotted another maid carrying laundry. I stealthily followed the woman, who was holding a heap of crumpled bedsheets. Right, left, left, right. I tried to memorize the route, but it wasn’t easy. Despite carrying a pile of laundry up to her chin, she walked quickly. She kept descending and slipped out through a back door used by servants.

Outside, we passed several buildings. The starlight was too dim to take in and remember the path. The maid entered a building, passed a few corridors, and went into a final room. After the door closed, I pressed against the wall, ears perked. Women’s voices came through, muffled.

“She even bribed the head servant?”

“Just to serve him for one night?”

“Just, you say? He’s one of the handsomest men in the kingdom. Still unmarried, too. If she caught his eye…”

“Forget it. Would someone like him notice the likes of us? But is he as stunning as the rumors say?”

“Of course. I only glimpsed him years ago, but I can still picture him vividly.”

Relief washed over me. It was obvious who the maids were talking about. They went on about Grey’s appearance for a while. Some exaggerations aside, the basic description matched: deep, unfathomable black eyes, black hair tied back, skin so pale it seemed untouched by sunlight, and slender limbs.

His image naturally formed in my mind. If he could charm even men, how much more women? Even expressionless, he was perfect, and when he smiled, my stomach tingled, my insides churning with nausea.

“Now I get why she was so eager. But instead of him, some random person showed up. Serves her right!”

“Shush. What if he hears?”

“Don’t worry. He threw the laundry and stormed off earlier. With that temper, he won’t be back until late.”

“Maybe we’ll have to wash it for him?”

“Perhaps… Let’s grab a snack first. I swiped a pie from the kitchen.”

The two maids giggled as they left the room. I hid behind a pile of baskets until they were gone, then slipped through the slightly open door. The maid I’d followed was busy soaking linens, and another was dozing in a chair.

I crept inside and scanned the room. Luck was on my side—I spotted my cloak discarded in a corner. I rummaged through the damp, tangled fabric and found my undergarments. I retrieved the dagger from the pocket and quietly left the maids’ area.

Leaning against the stone wall, I examined the dagger I’d fortunately recovered. Seeing water pooled in the engraved Zilarad crest, I rubbed the sheath on my clothes.

I’d completely forgotten about Lilith’s handiwork, now stuck to the back from the rain. Peeling off the soaked handkerchief, the letter tucked inside tore. Rationalizing that the ink had smeared beyond recognition anyway, I crumpled and discarded the letter. Unable to throw away the handkerchief, I tucked it with the dagger into my coat.

Confidently heading back to my room, I realized I was utterly lost. Hearing faint singing somewhere, I walked toward it aimlessly. The closer I got, the louder it became. Shouts and laughter suggested a feast.

As I approached, the smell of food wafted over. Remembering I’d eaten only a few pieces of jerky all day, hunger gnawed at me. As expected, people were raucously eating and drinking. For some special occasion, they all wore masks covering their eyes or faces.

I picked up a discarded mask and put it on. Slipping among the drunken crowd, I piled a plate with roasted lamb and dried fruit. No one suspected me, so I sat at a table and wolfed down two plates. Patting my stomach, I stood.

The only sober-looking person stood by a blue tent, so I approached to ask for directions.

“Hey, where are the rooms for the high-ups?”

He glanced at me and shoved me into the tent without a word. Bewildered, I looked around.

Inside the dim tent, candles burned faintly. A sultry incense stung my nose. Someone played an exotic tune, and a few people in strange masks wandered about. Standing dumbly, I was pushed and stepped on. Circling the tent, I asked anyone for directions.

“Hey, do you know where the guest lodgings are?”

A woman in an elephant mask giggled, grabbed my rear, and walked off. I got similar responses from three or four others. They were impossible to reason with.

Heading for the exit, I found a man and woman flirting, blocking the path. With no choice, I pushed between them. Curses came from behind, and the man grabbed my wrist, pulling me back.

“If you want attention, just say so.”

He spoke, half-embracing me. His breath reeked of alcohol. Judging by his suggestive touch, he’d misunderstood something.

I tried to push him away, but he pulled me closer, groping my rear. To clear the misunderstanding, I grabbed his hand and placed it on my chest. He froze, puzzled. Behind his goat mask, his face must have been bewildered.

“Who let a man in?”

He shouted loudly.

“All women here, Your Highness.”

I cursed inwardly. Only one person here would be called ‘Your Highness’: Quin, the wastrel of the Arives royal family. A deranged prince who’d stay in Lirmodo just because it produced the kingdom’s finest wine.

Still misunderstanding, the prince pulled me closer. His excited breathing grazed my ear.

“An unripe girl isn’t bad either.”

His hand slipped inside my clothes. Waiting for a chance to bolt, his lecherous hand touched the Marquis’s dagger tied at my waist.

Before I could think, I was slammed against the wall. The prince choked me with one hand and inspected the dagger with the other. For a drunk, his strength was brutal. I struggled with all my might, but he didn’t budge.

“It’s definitely the lightning crest. Why is Valon after me?”

I couldn’t breathe with my throat constricted. Kicking his shin hard, he glared at me with terrifying eyes. Even through the mask, I felt his rage.

“Answer. Why are you targeting me?”

“It’s a misunderstanding. Please listen, Your Highness.”

I spoke quickly, but he didn’t release me or change his expression. Then something fluttered from his hand. It was the handkerchief tucked with the dagger.

Without letting go of my throat, he ordered someone nearby to pick it up. He checked his name embroidered on the front, then looked at the back.

“You’re… Lilith Zilarad?”

His tone was incredulous. Things were going awry. Unsure how to respond, I kept silent. The prince alternated between the dagger and me, chuckling.

“Well, Valon women do learn swords and carry knives.”

He suddenly released me, and I slid to the floor. Clutching the ground, I coughed for a while. The prince grabbed my waist, pulling me up. His hand rubbing my throat felt ominous. I shouted for the dagger, reaching out, but he ignored me.

“It’s been a while, Lady Lilith. Ten years, perhaps? Did you come from Valon to see me?”

“It’s a misunderstanding. That’s an important dagger, so return it.”

“Sneaking in among harlots, you’re quite bold. You must be prepared for the consequences, right?”

“I said it’s a misunderstanding!”

His hand began groping my bare waist. It was only a matter of time before he realized I was male. He’d report me to the Duke as an assassin. One misunderstanding bred another, and the situation became hopelessly tangled.

My mind was consumed with avoiding the worst outcome. I drove my knee into the prince’s groin, and a scream of concentrated pain echoed through the tent.

“I said it’s a misunderstanding. Think of it as a bad dream from being drunk.”

Whispering quickly in his ear, I snatched the dagger. Before he could grab me, I leaped back. I ran without looking back, dodging drunken hands as his booming shouts to catch me rang out, and escaped the tent.

Outside, I blended into the crowd. After walking a bit, I feigned drunkenness and hid under a table. Soon, armed men stormed in, scanning the area.

“Where’d she go? That rat of a woman.”

“No one came this way.”

“Same here.”

“Maybe His Highness was too drunk and saw wrong?”

“With his balls crushed, how could he mistake it? He’s still on the floor.”

I waited until the searchers dispersed, then ran in the opposite direction of the tent. Unintentionally, I’d attacked the Arives prince and framed Lilith, but not getting caught was a blessing. Being mistaken for a woman was laughable, but being seen as an assassin could escalate into a diplomatic crisis.

After walking a while, I reached a familiar spot—the maids’ quarters I’d passed earlier. Wandering a bit, I spotted two maids eating behind some bushes and gave my name. Saying I’d gotten lost on a walk, they guided me to my room.

A knight and the aide were waiting outside. I’d never been so glad to see him.

“Where have you been? We were worried when you vanished.”

“Just went for a walk.”

“Shouldn’t we try persuading the Duke again? If we return with the gift, I won’t be able to face the Marquis…”

“He’s the one who refused it, so it’s his neck on the line.”

“Lord Ensley!”

“We’ll leave before dawn, so get some sleep.”

“Is there a need to rush? We should at least pay respects to His Grace…”

“No way.”

‘There’s someone I’d rather not run into.’

I swallowed the last part. Shooing away the persistent aide, I collapsed onto the bed. It was an exhausting night I wouldn’t want to relive.

◇◆

Pushing the guide to his limit, we returned to Valon in two days. We barely rested along the way. After the filthy ordeal in Lirmodo, I missed home even more.

Upon returning, I sought the Marquis of Valon, reported my conversation with the Duke of Lirmodo in detail, and returned the family dagger. I didn’t mention losing the dagger or the Arives prince.

“So… that’s what he said.”

“I caused trouble for you and Valon by going.”

“It’s not your fault. You did well.”

The Marquis tried to smile, but disappointment showed on his face. Having lived decades as a respected lord only to make enemies in his later years, he looked more exhausted than I, who’d traveled a week.

He told me to rest, so I bowed and left. Stepping out of his study, tension finally eased, and fatigue hit me. My body ached from riding too long. I thought I’d greet Lottsi and take a long nap.

Crossing the courtyard, someone waved at me from a distance. Lilith was waiting, with Miria behind her. Lilith ran to me, eyes sparkling.

“How did it go?”

“What did you expect? Not getting chased out was a miracle.”

“The prince, I mean. Did you deliver my letter?”

Unable to answer immediately, I watched Lilith’s eyebrows slowly rise. Before she could scold me, I said quickly,

“The weather was awful, and the ink smeared. Even the envelope’s name was illegible, so I threw it out.”

Lilith looked dejected.

“The sweets?”

“Ate them. Delicious.”

“You delivered the handkerchief, right?”

“That, I definitely delivered.”

I hadn’t lied a bit. When she asked about the prince’s reaction, I dodged, saying I was too tired to answer, and walked past her. About to smile at Miria, I froze. Miria wasn’t smiling and looked at me like a guilty sinner.

My heart sank. I instinctively knew something had happened to Lottsi. Too afraid to ask what I’d hear, I stayed silent. When I didn’t speak, Miria bit her lip and turned away.

We raced up the stairs two at a time and ran down the corridor. My mind went blank. The closer we got to Lottsi’s room, the greater my fear grew. When Miria opened the door, my trembling fingers had to be steadied with my other hand.

“My lady, Lord Ensley, whom you’ve been waiting for, is back. Wake up.”

Lottsi didn’t respond to Miria’s gentle words. I slowly approached the bed, confirming her chest was rising and falling. She was sleeping like the dead.

“The sun’s high in the sky. What are you doing?”

I carefully brushed her pale cheek with the back of my hand. Without taking my eyes off Lottsi, I spoke to the maid standing in the corner.

“Explain what happened.”

“Please don’t be angry and listen, Lord Ensley. We don’t know. This morning, we came to wake her as usual, but she wouldn’t come to.”

“What did the physician say?”

“Well… the atmosphere has been so bad lately…”

They hadn’t called a physician because they feared the Marquis’s wife. Thinking of the oblivious Marquis and Lilith, it was clear no one had been told. If they had, Lottsi wouldn’t have been neglected this long. I wanted to strike the maid but held back, knowing I wouldn’t get answers if she fainted.

“What are you doing? Go get a physician.”

As the maid belatedly rushed out, only Miria and I remained. I lifted the blanket and touched Lottsi’s arm. Its stiffness suggested it wasn’t an ordinary illness. Suddenly, I recalled Grey’s advice before I left for Lirmodo.

‘Everyone has weaknesses. And I’m not the only one who knows yours.’

◇◆

The so-called physician knew nothing. He couldn’t answer a single question about why Lottsi was like this, whether she’d wake, or when. He only vaguely suggested she might have been poisoned. After he left, I interrogated Lottsi’s maid.

“Tell me everything that happened yesterday without leaving out a single detail. If I catch a lie, I’ll skin you alive.”

“She woke at sunrise. After washing, she had breakfast…”

“What did she eat?”

“Soup, a boiled egg, and some fruit. Then I brushed her hair and dressed her. She whined about going out, so I handed her to Luman. She returned around evening. Lady Lilith kindly invited her to dinner.”

“Lilith? Go on.”

Miria interjected.

“I accompanied her to Lady Lilith’s room. I brought pheasant, soup, vegetables, and bread from the kitchen myself. They chatted over tea until dusk. On the way back, she said she missed you, so we climbed the east tower, and I pointed toward Lirmodo. Then we returned to her room.”

“And then?”

I looked back at Lottsi’s maid.

“She complained she couldn’t sleep, so I warmed some milk. She drank it with a snack and fell asleep.”

“What snack?”

A flicker of unease crossed the maid’s face. I glared as she stood and went to a shelf. She handed me an unremarkable box.

“These sweets. But now that I think about it, I don’t know where they came from…”

“Someone must have put them there.”

“They must have left it while I was out.”

“Then bring whoever was here when you were gone.”

She hurried out, and I opened the box. It contained half-eaten dark brown sweets studded with nuts. The shape looked familiar.

“Tell the guard at the annex entrance named Luman to come, and take these sweets to the physician. Tell him if he doesn’t find the cause by today, I won’t let it slide.”

“Yes.”

As Miria left and closed the door, I was alone with Lottsi. I leaned back in the chair and sighed.

Valonians are a people who challenge those they dislike to life-or-death duels, considering poisoning or assassination shameful. Moreover, the castle’s atmosphere was so strict that I hadn’t anticipated such an act at all. Who could have committed such a brazen deed within the castle?

I had a suspicion. Not many would be foolish enough to carry out something so obvious and easily discovered. As fear subsided, anger surged. But for now, saving Lottsi was the priority.

“Wake up, Lottsi.”

I held her stiff hand and rubbed it.

“You are my future. If you die again, I won’t be able to change anything. So you have to wake up, Lottsi.”

I repeated these words like a spell in my mind.

◇◆

The physician arrived holding a box of sweets in one hand and a kitten in the other. The black-spotted tabby, recently born, was the darling of the maids. As soon as he sat down, he declared it was poisoning. I had gathered some information in the meantime, so I had suspected as much.

The person who made the problematic sweets was undoubtedly Lilith Zilarad. I learned that while she was baking them, she received an unexpected visit from her younger brother. I also found someone who saw Hale’s attendant near Lottsi’s room the previous day. Since Hale’s room was in the main building, there was no reason for his attendant to be lurking here.

“I applied reagents to detect poison, but nothing showed up. My guess is it’s a concentrate from a plant found only in the east.”

The physician broke a sweet in half and dropped it on the floor. The kitten, which had been sitting quietly on his lap, jumped down, sniffed the sweet, and began nibbling. Glaring at the cat, I said,

“A guess isn’t enough. Don’t you have more solid evidence?”

“I think it’s highly likely. Locals there are immune and even roll it in paper to smoke, but outsiders who ingest it have their bodies stiffen.”

“Just tell me how to save her.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know. This substance isn’t commonly used for such purposes. It’s hard to obtain such a potent concentrate, and unless you’re a local, you can’t even get it…”

A heavy silence fell. The kitten meowed.

“I’ll go get it. I’ll buy the damn thing!”

“It’s the eastern border. Setting aside the danger, it would take at least two months to go and return.”

“Dangerous, my ass. Grey went there and came back.”

“The young lady won’t last that long.”

I mulled over what I’d just said. Remembering that Grey had recently returned from the eastern border, Floa, a chill ran through me like I’d been doused with cold water.

“No way, Grey, you again? After a miracle brought me back to the past, is Lottsi going to die because of you?”

I was certain Hale was the culprit, but Grey was behind it. I was convinced he had cunningly goaded Hale. That was his skill, after all. Burying my face in my hands, I took a deep breath. I had locked Lottsi’s door to protect her, but that wasn’t enough.

The seed of sin had sprouted. I once wondered if twenty-four-year-old Grey was innocent, but it was futile. A person’s nature doesn’t change. He manipulates people from behind, harms others without hesitation, and if left unchecked, he’ll commit even greater crimes.

A flapping sound drew my attention to the floor. The kitten was twitching. Its head was bent back, and foam formed at its mouth. Unable to bear the sight, I sank to the floor and rubbed its limbs.

As the soft flesh stiffened, the small creature’s movements grew more frantic. I held it tightly, but it was useless. The pitiful body hardened in my arms and eventually stopped thrashing.

My strength drained away. I was gripped by a helpless fear that no matter what I did, I couldn’t change the future.

◇◆

The poison had already spread. I was neither a physician nor a sorcerer, so there was nothing I could do now. But there was one thing a brute like me, who solves everything with force, could do. I didn’t want to call it something grand like revenge. I just needed a place to vent my boiling anger.

A servant stood outside the room I visited. He frowned upon seeing me.

“I’m going in. Tell him I’m here.”

“He said to let no one in.”

“Move.”

“Please come back later. Now isn’t a good time.”

“I said move. There won’t be a third warning.”

My voice trembled. I barely restrained the urge to smash everything. The servant, reading my expression, stepped aside. I kicked the door open.

Hale Zilarad was leisurely bathing. I stood still, glaring at him. I didn’t know where to begin. My fists were clenched so tightly that my palms stung. The emotions writhing inside roared to kill him, but reason stood firm, saying I couldn’t become a murderer again.

“What’s the matter, Ensley Maykin?”

Hale asked with a smug face, completely unaware of the gravity of the situation.

“Yeah, trash like you should disappear from the world for everyone’s sake.”

I strode toward him and kicked the tub. The brass tub tilted, spilling its contents onto the floor. Hale screamed as he slid onto the carpet.

“Are you insane? What’s this about?”

I stomped on the hand he reached to grab his clothes.

“Lottsi.”

“That wench? She shouldn’t have been born, that low, filthy… Argh!”

I put weight on my foot. He flailed his hands in the air to pull me down, and I stumbled back to avoid being grabbed. Looking around, I picked up a shovel used to clean the fireplace. Gritting my teeth, I said,

“Is Grey involved in this? Speak clearly, or you’re dead.”

“You, kill me? With what!”

Hale, still oblivious, laughed loudly. I slammed the shovel into his laughing face, silencing his cackle. I swung the shovel wordlessly. After two hits, his cheekbone bruised, and his lip split. Hale gritted his teeth and growled.

“You think Mother will let this slide?”

“I asked if Grey is involved.”

“You insolent fool! I’ll kill you!”

Hale, still thrashing, fell silent after the third hit. He blocked with his arms, so I struck two more times. He stopped resisting, only flinching. Blood pooled stickily on his forehead, trickling down his cheek.

“I told you to talk!”

I hit him three more times in succession. His face was so mangled it looked like a bloodstained lump of flesh. Thinking he might die if I continued, I lowered the shovel. Hale coughed violently, splattering dark red blood onto the overturned tub.

“Hale, I can kill you without blinking.”

“I’ve taken out hundreds of scum like you. It was hard at first, but thinking of them as trash made it easier.”

Swallowing the words, I waited briefly, but he showed no sign of speaking. As things didn’t go my way, irritation surpassed anger. My patience quickly ran dry.

“If you want to die so badly, I’ll oblige.”

Raising the shovel high, Hale grimaced and closed his eyes, covering his face with both hands to lessen the pain. His every action was so repulsive that I swung the shovel down with murderous intent. The shovel fell swiftly toward the convulsing man.

Then something inside me stopped me. The shovel halted in front of Hale’s face. I raised it again but couldn’t strike. Having killed countless people, I couldn’t take the life of the idiot who harmed my sister, lifting and lowering the weapon repeatedly.

“Damn it.”

After several more attempts, I realized I couldn’t kill him. It wasn’t about future worries or morality. My body simply wouldn’t obey.

I threw the shovel at Hale’s feet, and the coward, who had been whimpering, laughed like a madman. My bloodstained hand trembled so much I had to hold it with the other. Hale stopped laughing after a while.

“Grey? Grey just sat at the table I set. It was my plan from the start. How’s that, Ensley? I thought hard about how to make you suffer most… If you’re going to challenge me, you should’ve been prepared for this.”

He blinked his blood-crusted eyes with a deeply satisfied expression. There was no way he could live in Valon as before after poisoning a child, especially one the Marquis had recently acknowledged as his daughter. He hated me so much that he threw everything away for a moment of revenge, just for being mocked.

Hale’s stupidity made me scoff. The anger that filled me when I entered was gone, replaced by deep disgust. I also felt futility. I was furious at myself for botching things by failing to handle a petty villain.

I had no more business with Hale. Ignoring his curses from behind, I strode out of the room.

Opening the door, my vision filled with blue fabric. The servant must have tattled, as the Marquis’s wife glared at me with contempt. I walked past her. She peered into the room and screamed.

“Stop right there!”

Ignoring her, I kept walking, but rapid footsteps followed. Knowing a clash was inevitable, I stopped and turned. The Marquis’s wife rushed forward, flapping her blue gown. I waited until she reached out, then grabbed her wrist.

“How many times did you think I’d let you hit me?”

“Insolent brat, let go!”

“Your gutless son tried to kill Lottsi in this damned castle.”

“What’s that…”

“I was going to do the same to him but stopped. I won’t become a murderer for scum worse than vermin. Hale should worship me as his savior from now on.”

I released her arm with a push, and she fell to the floor. Servants fussed, helping her up.

“Don’t touch Lottsi.”

“You wretch!”

“Even an old hag gets what’s coming if she crosses me.”

The Marquis’s wife trembled, spewing venomous words. She insulted my birth mother, calling me “a child torn from the devil’s womb.” I left her behind and headed for the real villain I should have sought from the start.

◇◆

“Come in.”

Grey responded calmly, as if he’d been expecting me. He was casually polishing armor with a cloth. In all our years, I’d never seen him lose his composure. Unlike him, I’d spent half my life in agitation, and after seeing blood, I was even more volatile.

“Want to play chess?”

“Damn it, chess my ass.”

I strode toward Grey and swung my fist at his face. He didn’t dodge my reckless punch, standing still to take it. His lip split slightly, bleeding. I watched silently as he touched his lip, checking the blood.

Wanting to kill him while old habits of rushing to his side if he was even slightly hurt tried to resurface—what a contradiction.

“Your way of asking for favors is all wrong, Ensi.”

“You’re mistaken. I’m here to vent.”

“I overestimated you this time.”

I unclenched my tightly balled fist. Grey’s indirect manner was hard to decipher. What favor could I possibly ask of him?

Grey looked at me quietly and asked,

“You think I put Hale up to it, don’t you?”

Instead of answering, I glared. Grey met my gaze squarely.

“It hurts my pride…”

“You gave that idiot the weapon.”

“I warned you not to provoke Hale, Ensley. You ignored that.”

“Damn it, don’t change the subject! The poison you brought is spreading through Lottsi’s body. You killed her!”

Screaming, I realized I hadn’t improved a bit since I was sixteen. At sixteen, I blamed Grey for Lottsi’s death. I comforted myself by blaming him for lying about a singing hat in the forest. It was pointless since blaming didn’t bring the dead back. Even now, accusing Grey wouldn’t revive Lottsi.

“Hale ignored my advice too. Poison doubles its effect when used with an antidote, so why don’t they listen to me?”

Forgetting my anger, I stared at Grey. In his casual remark was a phrase I couldn’t overlook. I stepped closer without realizing, but he ignored me, focusing on the armor. The high-quality chainmail resembled the one the Marquis gave Hale for his coming-of-age ceremony.

“You know the herb from Floa doesn’t show up in reagents, right? I traded for a concentrate made by crushing and filtering it over years. It’s rare, but I thought it’d be more useful in the future. You might try to kill me, after all.”

“More importantly, you’re saying there’s an antidote?”

“I meant to sell it together, but Hale said he didn’t need it.”

“Hand it over! Now!”

My rough movement knocked the chessboard off the table. The pieces clattered loudly across the floor. I lunged at Grey, grabbing his collar, but he frowned and shook off my hand.

“Nothing’s free, Ensi. We’re not that close.”

“What do you want?”

“For starters, I’d like you to act like someone asking for a favor.”

“I’ll do anything, just give it to me.”

“Anything?”

I shut my mouth. It was an ambiguous word that could mean nothing or everything. Hesitating, as it could give wings to Grey, who was hard to beat even in a fair fight, I thought of Lottsi’s stiff body, and the scales tipped.

I couldn’t return to the past to regret and repeat the same mistake. She symbolized my change, my future. Looking straight at Grey’s faint smile, I nodded.

“Yes. If it saves Lottsi, I’ll do anything.”

Suddenly, Grey lowered his head and pulled my neck. I froze, still reeling from my words, my body stiffening. Our noses touched. His fathomless eyes stared into mine, gleaming with unconcealed intrigue. Grey whispered softly,

“Then swear it.”

“On a name that never changes, on blood that never dries until death, on a sword that never betrays honor…”

I instinctively recited a knight’s oath. Grey looked puzzled but amused.

“Swear you’ll do as I say, Grey.”

“You’ve become quite compliant. Not bad.”

Grey blinked slowly. We were close enough to count his eyelashes if I wanted.

I should condemn him for daring to harm my kin, but my heart began to race. The anger and hatred that should have filled me lost their place in that moment. Clenching my fist, my bloodless hand trembled. The few seconds of Grey silently watching me felt like hours of discomfort. I worried about where to put my hands and how to shape my mouth.

Grey’s lips covered mine without warning. His tongue invaded my stunned, open mouth. It was a kiss devoid of any softness.

While he ravaged my insides, I couldn’t react. I was frozen, and even after Grey returned to his place, I couldn’t speak.

I don’t know the Grey before me. In all our years together, he never did this. My heart pounded beneath my skin.

“I’ll collect the rest when you’re fully grown.”

I’d never heard such a crude joke from him either.

“What’s your game, Grey? You, who wouldn’t even hold my hand no matter what, what are you thinking?”

I roughly wiped my lips with my sleeve. Was this a ploy to lure me, like lying about a singing hat in the forest? To tempt me and then deliver despair? What was his intent?

“Here’s an advance.”

Grey tossed something, and I caught it instinctively. A small glass vial with clear liquid sloshed inside. Stopping my thoughts for a more urgent matter, I gripped the vial tightly and ran to the annex.

◇◆

Lottsi woke up. It was just a day after her paralysis. Waking with a dazed expression, she was startled to see the people surrounding her. It was probably the first time she’d received so much attention.

Blushing, Lottsi tried to get up but couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, her legs wouldn’t obey, and she cried on the spot. Her sniffles quickly turned to sobs. The atmosphere grew solemn, and no one spoke. The silence was dreadful.

The Marquis cleared his throat and left, followed by a rush of servants. The physician only pressed Lottsi’s legs. She looked at me with red eyes.

I had promised to teach her to ride when I returned from Lirmodo, but I might never keep that promise. I wanted to vanish from the world.

My despair wasn’t born of noble emotions like conscience or morality. I was a knight ignorant of chivalry, and my bond with Lottsi, though familial, was short and shallow.

In a distant spring, a thirteen-year-old girl died due to Grey’s hatred and my foolishness. In this spring, revisited, she was crippled by Grey’s cruelty and my negligence. My frustration stemmed from the harm to the being I’d fought to protect. Lottsi was the symbol of my reclaimed time. Her inability to rise again meant my future was shattered just as badly.

I was arrogant and reckless. I thought knowing the future meant I could control it. I overlooked the simple fact that changing conditions changes outcomes. Like two sides of a coin, light and shadow, where I flaunted my abilities, Hale’s jealousy and inferiority lingered like a shadow. I pushed Hale beyond his limits, stoking his vengefulness, and nearly lost Lottsi as a result.

Enraged, I sought Grey. With impatience and haste, I strode forward. With each step up the stairs, a future I could never change loomed before me. Would I beg for Grey’s unattainable love again? End up fighting his wars? Stain my hands with countless lives again?

The closer I got to Grey’s room, the more my anger faded, and fear raised its head. Grey giving Hale rare poison was in character. I knew his nature better than anyone. He valued a child’s life as little as a wolf values a lamb. But his changed attitude toward me was inexplicable.

“I want to have you.”

I stopped before the cold, black door. Yesterday, Grey kissed me. Despite my plans to oppose him and the resentment in my heart, my body opened to him.

In despair and guilt, I tasted ecstasy. That twisted joy drove me to a precipice. Unable to comprehend why an event that scrambled my reasoning and judgment happened, I was even more afraid.

I stood blankly before the door, as black as Grey’s eyes, for a long time. Suddenly, it opened. I quickly stepped back to avoid the edge. The heavy black wooden door swung past, and Grey Zilarad, wrapped in white cloth, appeared. He looked as innocent as a newborn.

“What’s the matter, Ensi?”

I stood, breathing heavily. The inner conflict confused me. I’d lost the resolve I had when I set out.

Grey looked down at me for a while, then walked past. Listening to his footsteps, I turned sharply. His black hair receded quickly. Before he vanished around the corridor, I said,

“Lottsi woke up.”

Grey stopped silently and turned toward me. Sunlight from a corridor window poured over him. I glared at his profile, bathed in pure white light.

“Her legs are paralyzed.”

“And?”

I knew he wouldn’t apologize readily, but facing his nonchalant demeanor, my fist clenched. I rushed forward, roughly grabbing his pristine clothes. Pulling, his upper body came closer. Face-to-face, I spat,

“She may never walk again. You ruined a child’s life.”

Grey, expressionless, pushed my hand away. Our touching skin parted quickly. He straightened his clothes and looked into my eyes.

“Why is it my fault?”

“Don’t play dumb. You gave Hale the weapon. The poison you provided crippled Lottsi’s legs!”

“You really think that? I warned you in advance.”

I was interrogating the guilty Grey, yet he was utterly confident, and I shrank. To hide my inner wavering, I resisted more fiercely.

“You knew exactly what that poison would be used for!”