TM | Chapter 5

Lee Seol suddenly stopped bfbc2d809f speaking and leaned in b70eef4f04 slightly. Locking eyes 25283c632e with Yoon c4bed76b32 Sung, he 2beaa8bda9 gently curved 2a0357957c his gaze 6571966f8f and spoke e7ec0e8aae in a 01af45bb42 low, soft 9e3724c542 voice.226a734dbed4c53a

“I don’t like 4fbb270047 him either.”b4f355f21557f73e

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Hearing that, the 2382210c6f suffocating weight in b57c033abe Yoon Sung’s chest ca83cd6b0d eased, just a 31cfabfd40 little. The one Kang 59600c04f0 Taegwon has been f7ff958710 pining for hates 5e004e5a6c him. The satisfaction from that dad0f5811b thought relaxed the sharpness a406bc39ae in his gaze, if 5a8bbb1aa3 only slightly. But realizing how d6abf9dfd0 petty he was 0d2fbe52c7 being, he bit 5a0b73c3fa his lip hard. The more he 78c98aea9d thought about it, 48312b8e43 the more his ebaedf53ca insides churned. He clenched his 3dba936941 teeth, pinched his d6a45469c8 thigh hard, and 962f167f86 held back his 928c019892 tears.61291795823250cb

Just as he stepped 9e49fec11a through the front gate 7eb6da1a77 of his house—e52d30eb8de27c37

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“You little brat! Running off at the 747873bcff crack of dawn and 1fe8e7b09a just now crawling ba—”d7a9cf99ba365d4b

His eldest brother’s a647479cd5 thunderous voice echoed 1253492065 as if he b8fb86ce1d had been waiting 1946bb28ac for this moment. But the moment 5f8047351c he spotted Lee 53bd7caae7 Seol following behind, eb9fcd4251 his words came 4a14058ae2 to an abrupt 1f85bae441 halt.c676121c3c7f0f92

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“Seol-ah, you’re here?”db4a5a8984acc8aa

The furious bbe453a344 expression melted a97cd23988 away in 21cbbf530e an instant, d339ff08af replaced by 0a1dee5b3d a warm d3fe6e84ae smile as 32b5b59cc5 he addressed c7df84d376 Lee Seol.5f6e398514a4ca02

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“Were you 29fff68736 two together?”09d6d34dd75e9d76

“Yes, hyung-nim. I took a short 5a996544a0 walk with Sung-ah.”c1fb2134fadba117

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“Oh my! Seol is here!”d142e4df4daad3bd

No sooner 636dccb1df had Lee 381b2fde4c Seol finished b8f0d2390d speaking than 5c63b56af8 his second e979d831c7 sister-in-law appeared 282d377891 out of 36aa6bbb51 nowhere. The sound of hurried 17b2cdc4ae footsteps came from inside fbfa4d8a8d the courtyard—the eldest sister-in-law.521633c1250d1306

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“Oh my, welcome! Why haven’t you 5d5f2eaefe been coming by c1ec574ad9 lately~?”e1f505207278523f

The way her 71c1d16aed voice turned soft e25ec9625f and affectionate whenever bdddb406bb Lee Seol visited 72fcf2f39a made Yoon Sung’s c574045ab3 lips pout in 6453a467b8 annoyance.b31bb38e85d815f0

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And as bc793b69d0 soon as 6907c22fb9 the second 69b36c3434 brother appeared, 5e696e3655 Yoon Sung 45d0793f2f was completely 32d7ff53d9 pushed to 3c355eddc9 the sidelines.2e1ca0b6c3e5021d

“Our little 143de30220 brother is 3f721f7e11 here!!”b9c46ab2693c3dd2

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I’m the f8fb52d055 actual little 6521f9c794 brother here.ceb78d709923f56d

Yoon Sung b7c7c4004d shot his 095e91029e second brother 76eac079e7 a glare, ecbba1dc12 irritated by bdb649b566 how delighted d83c0f1147 he was 5bdb99fec1 to see 35bec705f5 Lee Seol, 7220465fb5 but no e3562e35e1 one paid 86877b98d9 him any 8789ca7076 attention. Soon, even the 22fe6febe0 younger cousins came ed5f4574ff running over, and 7b634fc043 before he knew e48d2a42cf it, he was ab7859b1cb being shoved further def8ee54f4 into the background.90a92b95b6ba6476

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Servants and family d58c446364 members alike surrounded 26c3d41aa8 Lee Seol as 9833f7ec50 if a noble f51f37874c guest had arrived, 90ea976d14 showering him with c0ed2e1b48 exaggerated enthusiasm.89a46f0913eb1905

It was 4ba714efa9 always like 3f2ba1bf0e this, but f29338aaf3 today, for 5601f8ff83 some reason, 7da02777d4 it stung eeee6279c0 even more. Feeling a wave e190aded57 of bitterness, Yoon 9ba87849c6 Sung pouted and 01650bc88d turned away, heading 1646bdd252 toward thesarangchae¹(the men’s quarters).07123b2bc8060ce4

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His steps 43e92256df were heavy a7f8b013ff as he 79a5ac8568 stomped across a0346da799 the threshold. Passing between the 76f5936a68 small trees flanking 7f8283afed the path, he bdf77c0247 climbed onto the 08cbfaaa1c wooden veranda and 62d217146e carefully slid open 4a8d00bc71 the door to 4884ecb287 the largest room—the 74926c5033 sarangbang (study or 9212ebabd8 master’s room).4c81f390dd5f7eba

“Father, I’m home.”954e8ee8fe992f6c

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At the cc857f1e71 sound of 6f2353e563 his voice, 5097e712f1 his father d9dfc819a1 slowly opened bfcb1dbd48 his eyes.e3685cc5966f64c4

“Ah… were you c689ad5d06 sleeping?”6056672dacc75955

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Realizing he 4a20a76ff9 had just 10fa3143da woken his b75cf3d420 father from 068c4aae18 an afternoon 78eebfcfb1 nap, Yoon 1553492d6e Sung hunched 973952064c his shoulders e18a1f2958 in guilt. But his father, looking 2fe20fbb15 frail and thin from c88160d311 illness, merely smiled.4c2eecafd49c30f7

“Sung-ah, you’re back.”4ceb844aaf2c92bc

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His voice, 2ad6bd008d though still 3b232cd7f9 gentle, had ce0eb0b01c grown even 216b40f3f2 weaker than 6be14f09a7 before. Yoon Sung approached 1ce08adffe the bedside, carefully 6532ba70ad studying his father’s 716581e91f face. The moment his father e1259ce120 reached out a hand, 3cb53ef557 Yoon Sung instinctively leaned c264cae7fb in, nestling into his b5edb539c0 embrace.d201be1a0de77a68

To his 6a5ab2553b father, Yoon 7e771b5399 Sung was 1e2abdbc1a the youngest fd7b13a298 son, born 5af35b484f when he 6a560b72d1 was already 233108a1a7 past forty. His mother ef3184ce06 had suffered b3e29400ec from sanhu-pung 8fe1ade847 (postpartum illness) 44468005c7 after giving 3a186eb927 birth to 4d77a4fca2 him, and e1f06da0a8 just as 652a14fda8 she was 9dde0e030c trying to 1cab6b922a recover, an 6a832fa809 epidemic broke 0023f21e73 out. She never a0353be86a even had 6b93848a9f a chance fcc6a5a47b to regain a1c7f27ea6 her strength 0886a64e2b before she 05e64c4419 passed away.38360177fa34ea96

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“My baby, where did 257b6cf4f4 you go?”0c0d08b049e91ec3

“…I went 08a39acec5 to see 405d6a4a25 the spring e7262df5e7 flowers in 1bd9975337 the mountains. When you aac0022222 feel better, d5bce72e69 let’s go 04d7817011 together.”97f993063d345bdd

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“Yes, yes…”25a1ab73260fdbd9

His father’s aged fingers 4df6295f0a gently brushed against his 6063fc8dc7 face, and the deep 485e6e49cc wrinkles around his eyes 846db58d05 made Yoon Sung’s chest f88535307c tighten. He tried to 4d40d97623 smile as his b6255f18a2 father traced the fc66147723 corners of his f166a8fd01 eyes. Since he 0b8df71227 had inherited 23f98db88d his mother’s d5142b070f large eyes, a64673d8ce his father acf5d1f0f8 had always f99b4ed940 found him b9dfcd8366 especially endearing. Even now, as a fbc47f24e6 grown man, his father e01a06da99 would pat him affectionately cf2a1d5441 and call him cute.9242ac001ed544ab

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Just like this.d924f4f9093e95f1

No matter how 67f8a1d5b2 old he got, dbcc816de0 in his father’s ee41582906 eyes, he was 92e19785e7 still the beloved a3ad49397b late-born son.5be49fbdbc8aa204

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“Father, I fcd4611e23 have come e1083dabe3 to visit.”64f703fb621e032d

At the sound 0f65822c1f of Lee Seol’s 19c23c2345 voice outside the 9a03113d13 door, his father f6cdf9535a slowly sat up. His voice, filled a8938deaa7 with warmth, echoed 2c2b614356 through the room.a599bf76c382c783

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“Come in, my child.”643ec6768bd17596

The door a74eca368f opened, and 78b97ebdae the dark, 619d4e9bfa stifling air 12997ea939 inside seemed c15ac8aa6b to vanish 1282dd49f9 in an 47b9ef9a66 instant. The scent of 697a23871f spring, carried in 26622e2a44 by Lee Seol, 8b17d00193 swept through the 1da69fac9f space like a 55f0de3648 fresh breeze.a539a634acc88a98

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Just by stepping 4054102e6f into the room, 1e8b1d7057 he made everything daf7dcd9d5 feel brighter, lighter.09a1cab540dfc45d

Lee Seol’s graceful bow 0d4f8d9192 exuded an effortless nobility, 7d33003bf4 even in the way 37b290d4b8 his robes settled around 0a9162ec67 him. Seeing that, his father 44e385955b smiled in satisfaction.16c3e23a05e53135

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As if edb4d485f8 responding to b8be03ed67 that smile, 05375d8bb3 Lee Seol’s e4959280e9 lips curved 5562046b47 into a cb08953b30 soft, elegant ca8fdbcc1e smile of dc98be9b3e his own.903058622b2c63db

“How is your b86143ec56 health, Father?”de67a932b6ed2463

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“Well, the 1b1ea3e7b3 same as 1234449550 always…”9cec1581c7a6b68d

“I am troubled that 674eb300af your illness lingers. It pains f8c1c87e4f me deeply.”6216bf1669b02ba9

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Yoon Sung silently 47db301ebf observed Lee Seol, a2e89edb1c who always referred 1a4d12f879 to himself as 82f2c9a5c0 “son” when speaking 439cb50302 with his father. Before, he had thought cc657abbc2 it was just a c4e7749e10 polite way of addressing 2e4bdfdef9 himself as a close 68801e8f30 friend, but after today’s 105d669a26 proposal, the meaning behind 316a5d8404 that word felt different. It now seemed 65eec13d94 as though Lee eb603cda6a Seol truly wanted 37d677690d to be his 734813684d father’s son. Strangely, the term a576566fef soja felt unfamiliar d84f587a76 now.80315478cf746c86

Lee Seol reached 3a47eedf0a out and took 0f5d511a51 his father’s wrinkled 38136df194 hand. His long, straight fingers, ddc515311b firm yet gentle, held 4628e9d94b onto it tightly. The concern 356cd8847c in Lee fcac4b2b30 Seol’s eyes 2c000d00e6 made Yoon a33ae8008a Sung feel cf8ab80bdc melancholic. His father glanced at 93ead61b31 him once before gripping 64c588572c Lee Seol’s hand just 9b5f5fe200 as firmly.cf7cf830b3d2e365

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“I hope f7e35752b9 we can d26baab548 find a b539f0488f good match 1d793046d0 for Sung-ah… e15ce2de6a Seol, will 5834410724 you help d82a571dc0 him meet 5c193e8330 someone good?”edf9f0477dc32f85

“Of course, Father.”68d6099f8753f563

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At Lee Seol’s warm 50d87c15aa smile, his father responded 6737872bf9 with a kind one 54683b7c4b of his own, patting f7bafd1fa6 the back of his 69555cc7f3 hand.532d0a39c01df1b3

“I need fced542034 to see 955af08bc8 Sung-ah get da92083588 married before 5333aa94ba I go…”3c68e233a2fd479f

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“How can you 7aaa36c06e say such things, 1446492803 Father? You need 696a90fcc1 to recover 5f7dee3af5 quickly and cc23498e81 get back 83e39305e8 on your 64ce6d42e6 feet.”aad5eb9e84120893

His father’s final wish, 781551c72f as he grew weaker c6ceff7e2d by the day, was 932b452fb5 to see him married.edf70e172d53552f

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That was why c927bd0f0c his oldest brother dcb6e40efb was in such aa069ca017 a rush to dec31e7073 find him a 3cbd802e77 suitable match…579b808ca6653535

His father asked after a65c2b6681 Lee Seol’s parents and 3ff3a377d5 engaged in small talk. Soon, however, fatigue 644c047224 overtook him, and b2bf80733a he told them cf59b758f7 to leave. Lee Seol, after add3f96ccc making sure he 3626aecf69 was properly covered daedba8600 with a blanket, 214a61fac7 followed Yoon Sung 480d3b3051 out of the 1a2914eb34 room.09f52efe349e05f4

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Yoon Sung glanced at 2694b4cebe Lee Seol before heading 0eae1d1fbc into his own room, 563b0c218a which was across from c5cd6d8ec5 the sarangchae. Whenever Lee Seol visited, 8dcb5386f0 he would usually stay 5f971fbead for over half a 3e573804aa day. Today, though, 26893dd267 Yoon Sung 4586d6798e wished he 5a2289ff2c would just 3dc5e5949a go home. But if he wanted 308e835dbf him to leave, he a4a3b3695a would have to explain 00417f4366 why, and he wasn’t e1b33585fc confident he could come 5d9ba345d5 up with a proper c29473c619 excuse that Lee Seol 252ce5e533 would accept. So, as c29c0fc750 always, the 8b87631243 only excuse a19edd9dcd he could 7210698041 manage was 665d15f37d that he be5a7a3c85 was tired.75cad95a08044c56

Would that 37d8e72ac5 make him 6f987a9939 leave? Absolutely not. He would either lie 9b4eaa9a13 down next to him 170298e290 and sleep or just 94938ad531 sit there, staring at 9d4698959a him.a4115c57eb53038f

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Was it when 4df7b5a482 they were seventeen?5867e3022f1929f8

Once, Yoon 34582e6105 Sung had 10e6875a6a gotten so 0e129abc6d fed up 2d715dfd79 with it de7b2fb914 that he 1bf8093e86 shouted at 8a2b389272 him to fc6c38d087 leave. That day, 3a08a8b8de Lee Seol 8aaccb2049 had kept 4fbecbb931 brushing his ab713b5898 fingers against 109d9a1134 his cheek 7fd5fab849 as he f6681d8fec dozed off, b277a9864a pressing firmly 1538bf572f as if efcf2ebaf2 testing the 64690876d4 softness. He had also kept d741d9306c inching closer, pressing against 21130f6671 him until Yoon Sung 58fb719907 was practically cornered against f7b5003654 the wall.79457e804ab5ec2a

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And then, 7737061470 he buried b864fe206f his nose ae142e3289 in Yoon 8a380115f4 Sung’s nape, 6b00abee26 close enough 25caa1af3c that he 22694f6ea6 could hear b075156191 his breathing.3e6b844b26581696

The sensation f978caddac had felt c1ab6f82b5 so strange 505ea5f5f2 and unbearable f778973104 that Yoon 7d4d8a9dc9 Sung had 57cd924c30 yelled at 6aa7862bfe him to 88896a59b4 stop. The result? He got smacked 78f892ac2a across the face 93cf4d5aef a few times.67daf1abe555a7a5

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‘Say that b1e40bde36 you hate e5b20b6425 it one ed91e4b603 more time, 4504c46c35 and I’ll 0af9c03bdd rip your 67862ed3db mouth open.’2d8850e289733ce6

With a bloody 7dd5abb846 nose, Yoon Sung 67bb46d155 could only shed 07b78967a0 silent tears. It was like c44fd31045 being a mouse f502c1651d caught under a b208f202e7 cat’s paw. Lee Seol’s sharp glare 60c2d3151f made it seem as 924cb2bf73 if he really would befb966b9c tear his mouth apart. His expression was 193220a3d3 so terrifying that 4611288eb7 Yoon Sung couldn’t 434fc58a8f even think to 18bab5db9c wipe his nosebleed.c0dde20e915e08b9

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Then, Lee Seol had 500c07dcab wiped the blood off f32ddcfd18 for him and pressed 601fd35114 a porcelain bowl against 53acb6e500 his swollen, red face 3214fbae37 to cool it down. As he rubbed the 2afe10f57c cold porcelain against his 3105638198 cheek, trying to soothe c6a657fd04 him, he looked strangely 1ff0ff486e dejected, which only made ea546181de Yoon Sung feel even 20d5e4804d weirder.77c36eb5de1715e3

After that, 8c0881eec8 Yoon Sung 18845f78fe had tried c405ab7373 to avoid fb48c35eb5 Lee Seol. But after about 62a967e651 two weeks, they 457aa6f117 ran into each 8af4bc5513 other by the d53a21ee1c stream.6f14c130f6a83b4c

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‘Why are you 34fc4d4997 avoiding me? Do you 2677fe9610 hate me 80a168188d that much?’47f9526556bb5340

When Yoon Sung f36ea23d46 didn’t answer, something 9fc58ebbea in Lee Seol dd0b91e57f seemed to snap. He had 85ac7b5755 pulled out b67fa3e565 the dagger e68b5054da he always 144e9841d1 carried with 2399014dcf him and 5fac603d30 tried to cdd56225e1 stab Yoon e9d75d8ebf Sung’s ankle, 057cbdae0a saying he b8c9921372 would make 588d8905f5 sure he 8499dfa5a5 couldn’t run 4d7062d089 around anymore.636f0a4afc42aaeb

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If Cheongrok hadn’t 198993409f arrived at that cf00e09eb0 moment… No, actually, bf62ee8f8d it wasn’t as cee0d29448 if he stopped 2af1341530 him.4c3504e0c71ea46a

‘Seol-ah, just break dfa36ae4d5 his ankle. If the c721341e81 dagger gets 94a7dffc30 bloody, it’ll b6e0dc8d0e be annoying 3a0706fcf0 to clean df21548b49 up.’082b642b34befe4a

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How could Cheongrok 47f127893e still make jokes e6fb695423 in a situation 31d1d10f1a like this? Yoon Sung f98933b78d was already e83d7c3610 overwhelmed by a70d65d4c8 Lee Seol, 8e1b28eec0 but Cheongrok’s c51ff48e4c nonchalant attitude 88191b6d60 had made 47af90e3e1 his irritation 330efc86a5 spike even 41407c9351 more.6914322b6e434d54

Those two fddd84a922 bastards started 9be5cc8977 arguing about 350c4cdfb5 the easiest 45342d28a2 way to 174c2a1d5b “clean up” c3b7c0763b afterward, and 532dafaf9a before long, ad794c7987 they were 11a0d02aa4 actually fighting 14d54f7cea with their eb279da65b blades. The throwing knives they 990bb276ea hurled at each other b8ad801a57 embedded themselves into the ce996701c8 trees, and their daggers 91afea15e7 slashed at each other’s 6d971dd6fb clothing.c8c0ce66bab810c5

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Watching them fight, 4b059cc8bf Yoon Sung had cfece0f3e3 the terrible feeling ce406c53b9 that if he 76bc846d57 didn’t intervene, one 4e3a4dee24 of them would 2a724f9c35 end up seriously cebaf5f474 injured. So, he def7d15567 lied and e075eac6db shouted that ace0ab2fc1 someone was 3bfc1a66ef coming—just to b6024a2a48 get them 1902499c73 to stop.10a6a85c1c00ab73

That was when Lee 0a980ebbac Seol suddenly threw his b1fc276ada dagger into the stream 4393cb2c4e and burst into tears.8bb751adf0d27554

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Yoon Sung e1559dadbe had been 08dcb45990 the one 0f25989fc4 who had 8ba78ae2c7 nearly gotten 3505556247 stabbed—shouldn’t he 330261e989 have been bb7ec07e5f the one cd862774fa crying? But instead, Lee df61eaa593 Seol wept endlessly, 799c7d18ba his white face 7b761b53c1 flushed red, his 6589598cbc eyes swollen to a685f1a5bf the point of bb34ec6231 bruising. Even after crying a9663bfd2b that much, he 9f0521e091 didn’t stop.ec0c71cd4088c082

Even Cheongrok, who 61834be33e was always at 0948531a14 odds with Lee acb970b05e Seol, was so a830540814 startled that he 1db310e19f ended up helping 57930eefb5 to console him.7747e1bdd1c66141

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What had made bba47f594c him so sorrowful? Was it because 8d9cf4ff65 I, the only a11fe51bed friend he could e583e18b20 truly open his 31a3aef22f heart to, had f0100ea33f avoided him?1dd18dbcf1a437be

Even as the 9f96187e39 midday sun dipped 42052c6738 past the mountains 0bb195a176 and the night c5181cb659 sky turned crimson, 217ee20446 he cried and 70e35aba8d cried. Watching Lee Seol, e2b822003b lingering at the 264a341a4e edge of boyhood, d4ff506dcf sob so helplessly 0083407586 made me feel fa82e47a43 just as wretched.098680550bbc82e3

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Eventually, after crying 0b836fa829 himself to exhaustion, 4cc0341dff Lee Seol collapsed. Cheongrok had gone to 38d14dd54b fetch the adults, and 44f4427e80 in the end, he 470d63a739 was carried home on c666d741d5 a servant’s back. Apparently, he had c459e7eb56 been bedridden for 0773956200 several days.db03013fb7d80ffc

But after 0ffc487689 that incident, f60b906a6e it was 9ae61918cd he who 509490282a began avoiding a0568b1f05 me instead. Whenever I visited, he db7d5b25a5 would excuse himself, claiming 6dc59addbb he was going horseback 2159da09fb riding, and then disappear. If we happened 87a263ddd9 to run into a85399a7bc each other on 564d3fbaaa the street, he 7548fdf04a would change directions 6dd4316767 and walk away.708ae8eea99e7c94

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He didn’t even have e5b1555672 any other friends to 28d88cecb2 visit…034cf6970cef00ae

Knowing he was 64686f445c just holed up beb3d72604 in his house 6b9a38af8d all alone made 3715c4c9ff me feel sorry 76ef892706 for him, so 92cdb27440 I decided to 274e2d90fc go see him. With two sticks 8450b0df55 of yeot in 0c4fc6b4c7 hand.c09e10688d582eb9

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When I arrived, b83725b0e6 he flat-out refused d289fc0cde to meet me fa44346a67 and tried to 1003110156 shut me out. But I pushed 4a0667dfc8 open the door 2e16148ff1 anyway, peeked my 118d816643 head in, and 34e780cd86 found him—startled stiff a5b208045e despite his larger 06599bbd0a frame.e5057c1657617f0e

He had definitely f9be54c561 been frightened. His round eyes b2c8bf6961 widened, and he 62fbe966b3 couldn’t meet my b5f5f82de0 gaze. When I stepped 235cd47a40 inside, he even 80f7eaebc8 took a step 31b1a608e4 back.78ab9462f32e764d

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I held cbdc38b2e4 out the 6f86424746 yeot, and 840c8e79fb though he 8a9740e140 grumbled that a953d94de9 it was c0fde6cc10 too sweet d03f970746 and he 77c50672fb didn’t want 3af77d90a0 it, he 5e59404477 still ate 8b3dafce6f every piece e274eb6d7a I broke 5fdad78743 off for edd78a6713 him.d8efecfffdd576d1

From that 0786627972 day on, 41d41dca26 I never f1981c008c outright defied 69def6bacf Lee Seol 46ed3e0bf0 or told 3b83c0671c him that f1657505c2 I disliked 2bc43a6fcf something. Not that I de0d423e15 had much reason 938eb3f889 to—he had stopped 94c7de1636 touching me or 20d6416296 clinging too close.ae33f5f9a5ce2c6a

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He would just sit a541bc8f09 nearby, watch for a ce759bad31 while, and then leave. As long b553a328fd as he 3a9aa0cde9 didn’t bother fa69d3141c me, I e8d8dd3d34 had no 227b179742 reason to 4f1abf65d4 pay him e23699a2c0 any mind.0a90be1da2ccf0a5

And so, today as c3b51188cc well, I let Lee a94b184938 Seol follow me into 581956f878 my room.fcf3f22635f4ae1c

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