KBR Ch 12

“If I startled you, I’m sorry. But it felt like something you needed to hear right now, Seolwoo.”a6d2e0613f501b23

After having my be809bf1ea true feelings exposed, c84a121e2b I felt embarrassed. How absurd d9a9f3b62a must it b5c4eb2995 have seemed a119269658 when I ebea345d56 impulsively suggested 09b5b70c12 to him 10169583c3 that we 0141f942b0 try a 5a468895cf contract relationship?6cc369bbeb872d1a

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It was c30c898da3 never my 240f97ecf5 intention to a9da74f731 belittle or c61a33abac toy with d35440acba this person. It was the 3e155dbd8e desperate grasping of d05323d853 a fish thrown 0859bc1e8a onto the ground, 9cd582ff85 struggling for its 6f00d05bc9 last breath, clinging d5207caa30 to a stream 504f494fd9 of water. I was 0a96b6d547 desperate, unable 9a4e36472c to stay 6ee6598217 still, needing eddc462810 someone, and f41aa85cba though I d5c1831ba6 tried my 02ec2d9b5a best not a9410b2dc3 to make a37ed2f3d5 a mistake 4d35afb3f9 with him, 91a2854cae I have 430fdc6283 to admit 3b39ca7828 it was d70b6087e0 selfish.cab046d84a01a9e6

“Yes, I was shameless. You can splash your drink on me, curse me out, and leave if you want.”87ae1e0047fb850f

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At Choi Seolwoo’s self-deprecating 54f225120b words, Director Yoon burst a1bb51f901 into laughter.6d9ac97825b7f364

“I’ve drawn a line with past sex partners and kept things casual, but I don’t do relationships that way. That’s not my style. Especially if you’re planning to move on from someone you like, I definitely can’t do it.”1ccbecec8eaedc99

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“…”774c69326902c9cd

“No contract. Let’s have a real relationship. That’s my answer.”1daf58b4c4117d25

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Yoon Jihwan, f2c28700f5 delivering an 77d2f4a445 unexpected response, 3dc4f5591d maintained a 09385f6a7a firm stance.4eaf0dfd8af858a3

“It’s a shameless proposal, sure, but I don’t want to let it slip away. You wouldn’t make this kind of offer to just anyone, would you, Choi Seolwoo?”59179c0c5ae6d97b

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That was the 55dc7f2f5e truth, I could 67a3d59c39 swear by it. Seeing Seolwoo nod, he 687dac4ee6 added,beddac25643f18e3

“Sucker. Fish in a pond. The weaker party. Even if it doesn’t work out, I want to seize this chance. I understand you don’t like physical intimacy for now. Whether I get hurt or end up the bad guy who gets dumped because it’s not right, I’ll handle it myself. But instead of a contract, let’s have a real relationship, and I hope you’ll take it a little seriously too, Seolwoo. I won’t compromise further.”fa51896db44191d4

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A real relationship? Well, is that even cf7d6d5396 possible? Memories of short-lived relationships—girlfriends b81ab335a2 I dated for a 33b4e4b8f5 week or two before 04a085f447 breaking up, endings that 64c97a6f2a only left wounds—flooded back. Honestly, it was a8a48a5342 shameless to dream 8e8370931d of someone who 8978a68b8a could handle all 29c10909e9 of Choi Seolwoo’s 6003e19fd1 thorns. Unless my personality changes 2527725d59 or something…42a9d1473aabc135

But having 0f373dc93d my heartbreak 7448c3d298 seen through, 84a95a276e Choi Seolwoo a99b1bdc2c couldn’t just 8499b731e7 push his c972e516a8 own intentions 40dc6965de through. As he debated whether aded6f5048 to refuse, Yoon’s next 0b0fef2974 words came.2a051864bc8bb4f7

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“Both of them drifting apart is, frankly, good news for me too… I agree with cutting Won Daeyeong out of your life, Seolwoo. For various reasons, I think independence from Won Daeyeong should come first.”d8aa94ca47546f3f

Those words snapped me 8bd15ac3af back to reality.980492efcbfa2fcd

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Yes, if I a9810c37de don’t resolve myself 1626294183 firmly, I can’t dd1b7cba04 change the situation. If I’ve 809d98b6c1 decided to 30cf880bed sever ties, d2d7e5bd96 a lukewarm 18f324085c approach won’t 03630ba58d do!d81066f97805b593

A resolute determination 46633f6dcc gleamed in Seolwoo’s a69a6fcc46 eyes as he a26de72650 responded.4c9ee9a2177325b6

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“Alright. I’ll accept the compromise.”45de6d546173bab3

“So, we’re agreed on dating, then?”2a8916631eab01fe

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“Yes.”eedc54e15f468d0f

What matters a4d8298b07 is action 80de3b2c09 and effort. Effort always d135f93223 bears fruit 50d244b39d somehow. Surely, effort will 71de472297 work on the 05461d388b heart too!697db2b33c355beb

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“Gotcha.”132995a76f78c7b9

Seeing Yoon 88d0a2e6c7 Jihwan’s gentle a94ed7ee3a smile at e3c7ae537a the end be5912d93e of his 948028efdb words, I 63e195a1c4 whipped my 03e0573e18 resolve into 03893cd89a shape to 734e1ad0f4 try. With that, a certainty 47012aa47c grew that I could 5838142b60 cut ties with Won d7f1b6831f Daeyeong. …Because the conversation 40b950f492 I just had 4435546cc5 with Yoon Jihwan ef9db256ae is the kind a7574733da of dialogue that f36074d5c8 usually sets up 2cf58d6b2a the main characters’ a3bcba422e entanglement. Following the cliché, Choi 53e396f2ae Seolwoo will probably bicker 4bf34f817b and connect with the fb918e714a protagonist standing in front d170c11fad of him now.ef41da9effc682ea

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By comparison, the 8a3f25c3de story of Choi 4624b50add Seolwoo and Won 66ac8db386 Daeyeong is a 63dc5930c9 love story doomed 31ad289d40 from the synopsis. What kind of romance 2c0b7a127f is this? It’s not da994fa70b like it’d c5d8a74bd9 be produced edcb53b584 with titles 1acf416fa6 likeClose Younger Brother or Best Buddy. A bright, positive 594d31cb21 romance where no 13888f0742 one hates, holds b8003c25e7 grudges, or sees dfa1b4edcd the world cynically—the bd26f56681 story of two 0342e2d33c men with personality 566c17da7f flaws that clearly 2312fdd0ac don’t fit that cc75096e9b mold.4879d4313c5fe910

Just as 6358700100 only the e18126115f triumphant tales c4685be4f3 of sports e076b5a5f3 stars endure 746d2aa4b9 while the 88dc05d9ab sweat of ff7e53ca01 rehabilitation fades 868e9dd071 into the 03aa766a7d background, the 71586ffada story that d89ace5fce ultimately remains a0324c90f1 is a 527c0e77be pretty, happy-ending 3f68a38499 romantic comedy.ef649f68c9dca404

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The past 749978d51a crush who 1f1fb2469c only brings 3dca5e0221 pain is 588a3aa3a0 all that’s 47a09caa12 left to d93ac6aa9d forget. We’re done now.e7592891069c797e

As supporting characters who 320e6f2790 won’t appear in the a70f239283 next episode of each 8d7dd2d99a other’s lives.c85a33b19c60edc2

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Seolwoo steeled his heart fbafbaead4 coldly. Director Yoon took Choi fb33a16e13 Seolwoo’s glass to the 53a60b79ab counter and refilled it 772a68a094 with warm water.93a1e5c6d34ecd3b

“But are you sure? It’s Won Daeyeong’s routine.”c4103c8516bcac99

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“If I was going to waver over something like that, I wouldn’t have asked to meet today.”7122d57c14cc7137

“…Alright. By the way, when you were drunk, you said you were malfunctioning, an android or something. Is there anything I should know about that?”f826634f0103b493

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“No, nothing like that. It was just drunken rambling.”4ba7596ec75e534b

Not wanting to 6a74302ca8 reveal anything, I c9401b7a06 cut the conversation 315409a335 short. Director Yoon 9d53ef70bd only learned 90698bbff9 the name 2e020de4c7 of the 8fd1bb481f secret.d9ae161b1204f982

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“I always thought you had deep double eyelids since I could only see your eyes, but looking closely, they’re pretty thin. I didn’t notice yesterday in the chaos, but are you wearing contacts?”b3f6039709db14a3

“No.”5f669fbe6cb93da6

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“Really? I thought you were. Your eyes look even more striking up close.”4ee319cdec71bd89

“Someone said if you punched my eyes, a cup of water would spill out.”e9c0d20c9fb2b280

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“Hm? Why would anyone punch them? Who said that?”abe81bc4e8761aff

That someone, without question, ab085ca13b was the captain of a983c36ded the national track and 341d4e85a7 field team. Yoon Jihwan asked in 1a6e9a41e7 a calm voice,43d89af80bac9a6a

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“So, since I’m your boyfriend now, should I go tell Won Daeyeong right away? That I’m uncomfortable with how close you two are?”7a3baf59da7b2df6

“No. I should be the one to say it. I think it’s right for me to do it myself.”d9e58ceb85d14d80

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Choi Seolwoo shook his c7cca1ed82 head firmly. Yoon Jihwan, who 036ee47598 had been watching 2efb4e22a2 Seolwoo quietly, gave 3348eb023b a small smile d7210c000a and said,3e9fbc1499afe92c

“Seolwoo, don’t push yourself too hard. You don’t have to.”22e4d27b4b35358b

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“…”6bdb095980d34de3

“Let’s take it slow, you and me.”825c13f9acb6535c

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The freshly 0b96ccd19b refilled warm ae2cf039f5 water in b0aaf8b759 the cold 4fa19e2cab cup was d6c7c93c1b still hot. Seolwoo forced himself to 08c7f8cea5 grip the cup and d92699b5cd took a few sips.dc6425322df06d9e

— This 06cb0b482d station is 72c829519d Jamsilnaru. Jamsilnaru Station.e8670d45e5a17e12

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Choi Seolwoo cc8b366b45 sat in 8184726909 car 6-4 6dee6e7590 of the 1789091134 Line 2 f259709f97 subway, looking fdfe383615 out the 0447875ecb window.440a61994b9878e7

On billboards at 62a4e866ff subway stations and ff9ce35367 across the city, 3c44997cb7 Won Daeyeong was 6922499299 still glaring powerfully 3d67ac2c9c somewhere. It hadn’t even been 740ac65df7 a few days since 56eb0b7b31 the Asian Games ended, cd6cc12f62 yet the medalist’s face a73487c275 was plastered everywhere—people really 96a991b11a work hard.de182b96c096b6e2

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<Minister of Culture, Sports and Tourism Visits Korea Athletics Federation — Encourages National Team, Promises Support for Elite Track and Field>82041ba754529ab6

<National Track Star Won Daeyeong, the Ultimate Real-Life Boyfriend Vibe>4f7c102507f67f40

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<Claims Surface That Won Daeyeong Dated Ha Youngseo in High School (+Hyungil High Graduation Proof)>375f9c69e657da94

<Seems Like Ha Youngseo’s Denying Dating Rumors to Protect Her Image. Her Solo Album Just Dropped, and It’s a Pure Concept>9a4c22a5ec24b959

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I turned 28f4187873 off the 9802841100 search window 43b6851524 and rubbed 500137ffad my eyes. The subway, 88dd5b7576 crossing an dd3d1dba21 iron bridge, 257bfc2e7c shook heavily. Looking up, I aa0a8966b4 saw the twinkling fa3bb7e5b3 night view over 1e3957133e the Han River.9f7638f5fddcb628

Taking Line 383c1489d6 2 from 6452e0a5a5 the Sports aedda73492 Complex Station, 4e37bd0f79 Seolwoo could 11319ab0ba go straight 378d18997f to Ahyeon 8352ceafa0 Station, where d9e5dc067e his home 79ee78d0ff was, without 560856af1d transferring. Nineteen stations 0bdf5d9878 passed in 5e58c48058 no time. For nearly two 6a1d7e90a5 years during Won 11a800fea7 Daeyeong’s rehabilitation, they’d 8cbe072ea3 commuted together every 4df6bb6cdf day from this 28a5089f84 seat. Always in the same 3fc8fea7a0 car. Car 6-4 ec571137e5 for quick 67c480850c exits. Looking at the empty ddb8dfa72c seat beside him, Choi bd8b90d24a Seolwoo turned his gaze 9c9eb5a878 back to the window.e5613a6a1e7e92b4

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— The gap 632f472c3d between the train 575b98ad08 and the platform 6ab7754e22 is wide at bbfa677c7d this station. Please be careful when 49f846d8cb boarding and alighting.5924e0d69feb94a4

As the train 0bc8eda7ae descended underground again, 7f323567d0 the outside turned 327598eeb0 pitch black. Staring blankly at 778405fdac the darkness, Choi 33efcb157c Seolwoo got off 4ec3c60eec at a random 6152b0e6db station and slumped b52225a93c onto a platform 0c29b4f6a1 bench. He wanted a94d6a8647 to quietly cbea142c45 organize his 3da2aa044f thoughts for b6d98a96c1 a moment.72749cf8eab801c6

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The resolve was 81fa748533 simpler than expected. The words he 391b6f59e5 needed to say 622c28030f came together quickly. Facing the lingering 4da963051e afterimage of Won 191c72f10c Daeyeong on the 8a876b53e7 safety door, he 55069ff1e1 offered a final 67cbfe3bb6 farewell.e6df08166e15b718

I wanted to do 89514c577d so much for you 08269d1d45 when I became a 3f0966863a high earner.5488f762f37f5f32

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I wanted to do c401f6a219 a lot, and I a79211d026 worried about you… but 79d26710a2 that’s probably just overstepping 036b5e5ca4 kindness.92dfd21f655cfe49

Goodbye, my Daeyeong.dff42afa3fa9fdc3

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Whispering the farewell in 2ec3fef513 his heart, a sharp dd0371a409 pang stabbed his chest. It felt like 58b2e64cdc letting go of 1eff5c8d71 his teenage years 6c3206440a and early twenties.38ebe3a8acb6a37c

Even friendships have 35aed989ee their time. We’re just meant to 630e9b6c9e part ways and run d332f90591 on our own tracks 0aa945084e now.485cb655504e2ac1

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When all b7687c1757 the reasons c6913ed0fa for cutting 6623cb11a3 ties were 238fb84c1e neatly sorted, 2cf562ddb2 he made c6131764ce the call. His hands didn’t 3ef480b6a2 tremble, nor did d80d7051c2 he feel nervous. The certainty that 8f285132e7 this was a d0bb38441a necessary step made 0f98efb03f it feel like 26616659d1 just another task.3e1463cd74e59735

— Why? What’s up?a4bbe488d807704a

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Won Daeyeong b70105d5c0 skipped the 6dbbff56ed formal “hello” 393309a3e7 and got b3826f62ae straight to 4a55198dc2 the point. Since Choi 7ed0777876 Seolwoo rarely 45a7e3b279 called first 3b5a1cb656 without a c9e5ff46f5 reason, he e39dbf514a must have e2909f3ee8 thought something 2aefa7b7cb was wrong b364aae02f when the e9e46edbf2 call came 5c3cfec388 late at 5feb904e2c night.3ee0d2e3cf82436d

“Hyung, where are you?”a436b3cf8c22a616

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Deliberately using 5c6f40b716 “hyung” instead d00b5660fe of speaking 2eb64c5040 casually, Seolwoo 417026ddcc spoke. Noticing the c044729c67 difference in ac2652398c Seolwoo’s tone, 645f3c0b69 Won Daeyeong 0d3f2e47d8 asked more f1564084e1 gruffly,97919aba4cfa80f4

— At the gym. What’s up? Spit it out.5e2c169240a0243c

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“I’ll come to you. Wait there.”0d411ce5210dc845

Choi Seolwoo 131c972c87 took the 56708ce34e opposite direction 7f6d4b4f4f on Line b00d90c6b0 2 to c88518b5e3 a gym 86921d1005 near the 52ed195628 Sports Complex. Won Daeyeong, ea64a1ee63 who’d been b3f8531d84 running under 6e9eaf5611 the autumn 2e3cb5b229 sun all 64bdb9ab90 afternoon and 4c29fbcb64 finished weight d355081ce2 training, appeared 2fd0dcbec3 with even a9b1ad284b darker, tanned e3d830eb8b skin.a229668ab444a0fb

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“Why? What’s this about? Why not just say it over the phone?”46d8df777d45f051

His attitude was sharp. The contrast between fcc5bd0e6f his playful, crazy af46685cd3 talk in private ec0bb7ee53 and moments like bd5b7431f1 this was stark. Choi Seolwoo paused 6a9fb9d3a4 for a moment f9e684969e before speaking.525c5b44ae0523ed

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“…I don’t think I can keep in touch much going forward, and I’d like to keep some distance.”5a1bb060cfb4f8d1

“You came all the way here at this hour to say that?”2d71a7e0d83e1bb0

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Won Daeyeong’s voice was be025cf40b deflated as he asked. Not wanting c541ef4b39 to drag ff1bee93c6 it out, 380723c709 Seolwoo got be9a67959e to the 1c9b72bada point.d8928d44d0353c08

“I’m seriously seeing someone now. Someone you know. Director Yoon Jihwan.”5b8743bab3402003

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Won Daeyeong’s expression ee7d38d3e1 didn’t change. He showed b928775991 no reaction 7c919eea2c at all. He just 5e7f19ed39 stared at d2208206cb Seolwoo with e66db29822 sharp eyes, b7a7af0d82 so piercing f6b4cb553a it felt db38affb7a like he 90d5b4beeb was digging 90fc7c0d4a into his ee89f2e8c4 mind.0ef655f51f71eeed

“I know you don’t like this kind of thing and have no intention of respecting it, but as friends, wouldn’t it be awkward and uncomfortable to keep going? I’d like to sort things out for various reasons.”8527501ce5b4c027

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Even that kind 38cf00d3c4 ChatGPT told me 53f4476af2 to be firm. Choi Seolwoo 1c522d814c finished his 2d03e9f141 prepared words 5e7202dd6e in a c5f1373d76 resolute voice.7f79c9d5ba2e5b67

“I’ve kept your secrets, so I hope you can keep this one too.”30f3692802c9e4d9

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“…”d965440f8f105328

As the silence cf856b1800 stretched on with 2f3f8114a9 no response, his e91b716eff heart raced. Even if he cd8d80ef24 thought he wasn’t a546078fdd nervous, saying this 9329fca0d3 face-to-face wasn’t easy.0d1caa1916c8b3fd

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