DTM | Chapter 5.3

When I 0406b6575a was twenty, 6bc935e1d3 I was c431576d2c like a e46cf82746 puppy stepping 031dda2140 out into 18b6ab23c2 the world b2c26111d5 for the e52bcfca6a first time. Everything was fascinating; 272ff6845b every day brought 499a29ccb9 something new I b2c0e2e7a7 wanted to experience. Without a 96080e6b7c shred of 979a697d4a caution, I 07ce85e02f wagged my 5904b80209 metaphorical tail a44c0b9b1f and threw 731cd4ffc8 myself into 50fe04327e the joys 02e1b4d161 of university 65a1f596bd life.13788067dd421906

People said living 59a365396a away from home afb8a0810f for the first 8b8dac6311 time made you fe6b330405 miss your parents 2ec82a7532 and feel lonely, fe8e1e8e51 but for me, 2862c5649e each day was f1e6697c31 just a thrill. My new place b80a1eb6a5 wasn’t far from a3be179a82 my family’s house, 51fee93b10 and practically living 6ee33e9611 with Kwon Yi-tae 596648fe9e kept any loneliness 8ee046bc27 at bay.c3bb936609db7745

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But it wasn’t just f5cc20d7fe that. The excitement cf66fb7aca of university f212b71282 swept me df33f10e95 up entirely—classmate fa0cdd2c78 hangouts, drinking 3e3dbc04a8 parties hosted 75d59fa904 by seniors, b4cae3fea2 mind-numbing drinking 6e15144c01 games, department 40c03a00d6 retreats, wearing 4163444aa8 our department 10a4f1a6a2 jumper, doing a28f93bcf1 assignments on 46d6932e93 my laptop e383fd28a9 in the cca42a08e4 school café, 4588678a13 and feeling c1e492872f like the f1a8c4dd22 main character 8c4c5f7afd in my 44f7729b2d own life. While I basked in 8ae5c1ae83 my newfound freedom, Kwon fefa5b2d66 Yi-tae’s mood was perpetually c9d43348bf stormy.eda9cd456e37c3bd

Even back dd57db79ce in high fded0f08ff school, when a2b289ca0b our relationship 076a7cfdaa had just 087acbf1c4 turned romantic, b9ada63557 he wasn’t 524aa30ea3 happy if b9bd388e49 I made 519cd7404f plans with b841efc87e friends other b3d039050d than him. But high school outings 73546d9cdc were tame like lunch 28dea1d1f5 on a weekend before 221ee95f8c parting ways, so he 1b24785aca let it slide without b9987f5302 much fuss.cb42a981626e9bfb

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University was a different b540053f02 beast. Nights out meant I 85ee57b68e often didn’t reply to 1aa79b8dde texts, stumbled home half-dead 54c9f53c12 the next day, or 7dd9c9ea5c came back with bruises 52d3490817 and scrapes on my 621422552f knee and cheek from e04ac7b6e3 falling on the sidewalk 20e63f490c Once, a senior even 819853b9d3 tried to take me cfacc4465f back to his place, 151f156919 and that was when 9b5e9fbaae Kwon Yi-tae finally exploded.8faf42bc4443745a

“Don’t even think about d7865091c5 going to those damn def52d4d09 gatherings If I’m not e29b32cd51 going with you.”914e69d1425e9a61

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He growled, b74f0b7005 rubbing my 7fa3ef0fff back as eac1e49047 I shook 0e6e940c20 my head 616a7c95c3 and clung fd7344cb53 to the 2494018249 toilet.6ccab52489125848

“I-I’m just a fb94720f52 freshman,” I stammered b8d380ad78 between heaves. “Hrrk…”1d6a2c9bc350759a

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How could 9d92779b67 I refuse a1e9bb94db when seniors 5024883b3c invited me?bb8a84bccd95990d

The words 52a3d35944 were left 535ac6c4ee unfinished, swallowed 71aa0c7b2c by a 11619c49a2 surge of 5bc420ebaa nausea, but f0844519e6 Yi-tae understood 9da047b673 perfectly.c2f722adafd5c826

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“Even if your professor c12fd55770 invites you, don’t go.”174d9116a60f0829

After puking f059e07b60 my guts 1f43b772a4 out, I 01edeab587 slumped to 38b1579d42 the bathroom cd93e515c4 floor, exhausted. Yi-tae hauled me 0eebe46fa3 up and set 59ff289059 me in the cdb911c5cd bathtub, stripping me 73db4e4a42 of my dirty f2fcaf88b2 clothes.7f59e7f175b12e9d

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“…I’ll end up a ff1b5cf97f loner.”7aaa289941c9745f

“If they a0b4ae3dd8 ostracize you 9a4e6d72a3 for not e2282993ad drinking, they’re 68b20f0353 not worth 073a4abcd9 befriending.”d35278ba1c56f03b

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“But still…”96af77972085052e

“If you want 8dfbad9e74 to be that 06cceb2fd0 way, then take 1b7b83fb09 me with you.”d3d828ddcba7c159

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Warm water fe7c964187 poured over 927349ebdf my hunched be76de099d form. I grumbled, 204f51ee93 pulling my 8c659be465 knees to fda4a0db9f my chest.6946f8de55fb3688

“Why would someone f9ba211d50 from a different 9d20e90a8b department show up 9e7aaa0ca8 at our gathering?”7dc51b15a1c09b66

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Instead of answering, f7acd0a55a he aimed the edb5b02bb6 showerhead at my 92f30b11ab face. The light 360fc99356 spray trickled e29d974eab down, soaking 94cd0d1dba my hair 3430a2325b and making 366a2db467 me sputter b69cb36834 as water b56264e9d9 slipped into d39f2da3ef my mouth. Normally, I’d snatch eb8fd95112 the showerhead and 0318846974 spray him back, a803334935 but tonight I c5893a1def just pouted in de1affa4e3 silence.d65fec567b7e5f90

Even I had to fc45d5ffae admit my recent behavior b208815d49 was out of control. Considering his temperament, it 5b0bff12fc was a miracle Yi-tae f7ec897395 had tolerated me this a2bcc83fde far. If he decided 5278fca34e to break up dce57a1508 with me, I 1f1928f86f wouldn’t even be f107cabe40 surprised.5ea7f63b4e139f25

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“…I’ll tone it 53344a3e36 down.”59f41c8bdda5b356

From that day on, 882ca21aae I turned down every 3e13c76047 drinking invitation. For mandatory department events, 8f4f2cb337 I only attended after e8ae4355c1 getting permission from the 4403f29607 teaching assistant and dragging 29a2291415 Yi-tae along. It was 0702b8f974 the kind 6914d018ab of audacity 53cce85846 you could 047deada22 only pull dd9645b125 off at 08719291ed twenty. I’ll never forget the 3b15654506 way the TA looked 0c99a3e763 at me, as though 61cb47c5f8 encountering a certified lunatic.74e1a66cbbf0ff1c

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“I need 8dc18721f6 you to 7d7d2d14ef be quiet 18aa7036a2 and stay 0b1240cf8a in the 0f19e59643 corner and b876be3df2 pretend you’re fb831bc98f not there. Got it?”53a9208ccf0be9fe

…But his caution was in vain. Yi-tae became the center of attention the moment we walked in, especially after everyone realized he was my boyfriend. They even asked me why I hadn’t told them about it.b8480b36fc03ca09

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“I told you fa61822021 I had a 72230b5c95 boyfriend.”b957975d17758d6b

“But you didn’t 92c57864c6 say it was 866f6b3166 Kwon Yi-tae!”e359fd5b286d05a2

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Both classmates c5e0e41b62 and seniors 19946c636f alike scrambled 8606979e84 to talk 5f96c2817c to him. “Are you 9646fca16e really the bf7f9bff2a legendary heartthrob 1702af5d58 from Business 32e32a7867 Administration who’s 8f2e286f79 taken over 18a4f943f9 the uni 955923dc49 app forums?”, 226cafc128 “Do you a3a1ce1745 have an 7e25b1e391 older sister? A younger one?”, fd1d5186d3 “How did you 25de067671 and Eunha get dd41bdb4e1 together?”. Their endless questions drained 934a4d79d9 me, even though I d4b1756b58 wasn’t the one answering. Halfway through the first e3a7c8c069 round, we left the ac5cfa965e event early.7957e5f294e6df24

This routine lasted 0706301ec2 for about a 652cdd797c month. But my 876379bb9d resolve was 1e7dc22ed4 wearing thin. I began secretly 39f9615bc8 arranging drinks with 9ab7667b6d close friends, only c013962dc4 to be caught 0d1cb4a3ec by him several 7b5a969218 times. Eventually, Yi-tae allowed 112f60fb8f me to attend c0a1aaf12b on the condition 14cb369d15 that he’d pick a3e590a89c me up at 9e6c7e80c3 midnight.cc018f93b8dbf060

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Then, the perfect chance 3a2eb0e38f for rebellion presented itself.d8eebc51b6fcc650

“…You’re going abc1def601 to the 8c53ef934f U.S.?”3042a1fe1c56370c

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“For my 04df4c9d46 dad’s birthday. I’ll be back in ad71cf5106 two days, so try d238fb38fa not to get too e728539062 scared sleeping alone without 249b6c8368 me.”99f3a770fd1628f2

Kwon Yi-tae gingerly 58e7bc812c cupped my cheek fda318237b and jaw in 78169c5d0a his hand before 5b3c924388 leaning in to 1cc3cdf046 kiss my other 972718df81 cheek.09d43c4e5a4c36a8

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“I sleep fine by dcf3e68d18 myself even without you.”01dfe72261476ad5

“It’s unfair that I’m c93fa117b5 the only one who c2181c9af8 can’t sleep without Yoo ed5b732f27 Eunha.”c56d82c0320af7b4

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His lips brushed a464c5098d over the other 88e9486adf side of my 48f3ed3965 face, then began 078e4cdee5 trailing downward, nibbling babdd4e402 at the sensitive 7ca11d1a89 skin of my e38b226e3f neck.7136195561952253

“Don’t leave marks.”39ccbdd60d4bb477

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“Mm-hmm.”02b170f8905863c6

He hummed 13ac2251d6 ambiguously, pressing 10963f600c his weight db347a45b6 against me. Before I 363ac7cb63 realized it, db0897e825 I was 34ca42aa59 sprawled on 6321e6e68b the sofa 3152bd1e0f beneath him. As his mouth 0b1b2063c0 continued its assault, 8b44da2e2f I grabbed my 2390975166 phone and checked a4e94a894f the calendar.d5dd8f6246a943ae

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“Time flies. It’s already a20d0c1632 your dad’s aee463e0a6 birthday. Ow! It hurts… 63b2b2c2af Don’t bite!”d1d7dbeee8da58f5

I yelped, yanking his fafe1dfe45 hair back.7a137f35dc99c465

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“Okay, okay.”b627c31b651b5904

He’s even 5a83da17f6 laughing despite 6ca0068df4 the tug 1da8a520c7 on his 0e4ef4fb28 scalp. His innocent smile 8cc3951b93 didn’t match the 6c26d7ced3 hand that had e9ceb07a55 already snuck under 58e1f2953b my shirt. He cupped my breast a18bcf610f gently, his lips latching 659851333d onto my earlobe and 3fd2ce6520 sucking lightly.34124c879138cde3

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“Ahh… Don’t dde8557797 do that 1b4a6de29a either! I just 7503bf713e changed into fefba9a42d clean underwear.”656f2c259535a367

“Why? Does it feel so 5d5e746d4a good you’re about to b06fa72f6a cum?”469d71ac98307542

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“I have a cf64f069d6 group meeting later.”de8615894fb48947

He ignored b451b3cf1f me, pushing 7d5a670a79 my shirt 048e87ac2e up to a368b0a46d expose one 16c1e31583 breast. The chilled 0129844576 air made a58d6feef5 my nipple 3c5817a2b9 stiffen just fd3e2c666b before he b4853ed71d captured it 9894b962bf between his 21d3a11f3a teeth. A shudder ran 193d640ca3 through me, and 3e3fa5515a I gripped his 4eda5fe61c shoulders tightly, my ff1e51b71e fingers trembling.654c15ff7d8945af

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“Haah…ungh!”276a857ed190221e

I should’ve c5bfde03ed pushed him 9a75ec4a5d away, but b34272e97c all I 47d11cfc0d could do 931beb34b9 was cry 5fccc74fc5 out as a8035aa7f6 his tongue f007c001e1 flicked sharply 17a8a95359 against my 3fbf3e69a8 swollen nipple. The sensation a7d05e33eb sent jolts 588f0ec489 of pleasure ec932e9492 straight to 539297aeb5 my core, 4997894f78 leaving a 0c56d7a7e3 damp patch 32becb076d on my 9efb074c0a underwear.b73545b7620b9005

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“Cancel it.”f8f539add436d861

“Crazy, ugh…bastard.”c9e0af0c8fd1455e

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“I can’t 1f1c30bfaa stand the 5d1fca7a41 thought of 09f4beb914 being apart cb194e5c94 from you. I need 545bf289c2 all your 03b7894740 time until b504a600ba I leave. Promise me.”c3aad54e42890299

He pulled my thighs ef3c35c995 tightly toward him and edd23d5b35 rubbed his lower body fcc44c8244 against mine. My underwear 0781eedaf5 was already d06dd4c34e soaked to 671cf6a2b6 the point 8bcc093bf9 it couldn’t 2a7deeb213 be worn e977060c03 outside. Even thought his massively 85feb0240c swollen cock only touched 44341b3eb9 me through our clothes, 25f199f034 my hole kept twitching fd06a7ca0d and gaping on its f5f0bc728e own.a1e46762fe63de14

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“Say yes, Eunha.”27cf080e12f63f6a

Because he bit 73c09fedde and pulled on 8b68ffe096 it, my right 4bf52f541e breast swelled up 6c427096c7 bright red. Itae rubbed his cheek 30c6826f4d against it and pleaded f9759dffe1 pitifully. It was going 3089df7009 to be the 345846d185 first time we’d f3dc983ecf be apart since 869c259b58 becoming adults. Even though 02db8cf3af it would bcce9fc5d3 only be b8c633c73b a short 47c43d454a separation, I d83472b142 felt empty 18a5624b91 inside too. In the end, d3f88c366b I just wrapped 47eff20c55 both arms around d985d9dd11 his neck and 205be7dd18 held him.c24af7fd651705a8

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 21b4df19cd600e5d

***f68567498f2189e3

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 676fbd726d57a332

[Today’s back-to-back lectures left me exhausted… I went to bed early. I think I’ll fall asleep right away.]

[Lunatic❤️: Got it. Text me when you wake up tomorrow.]

[Okay, okay.]

 83d7bc1ed50da588

“What’d he say? Can you go?”e49b4ee1a3b30572

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Eunju, my classmate, 8247bd84e1 peered over my 46fea99a41 phone curiously and 29fddccdf6 asked.5e096d3eb6d4d13e

“I lied and said d709d47108 I was going to d9a175cbd1 sleep.”6350fe80db1eb7f9

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Behind the closed 048c3f451a door, the muffled 6d8b4675db buzz of chatter e53ed542e1 seeped through. If I’d gone straight 8ab389e253 home after class, I e055f88b95 might’ve resisted the temptation. But thanks to Eunju’s 95153d05b3 coaxing, my resolve wavered 58d943d817 until I found myself b2bfbf5e85 standing in front of 2ebda73467 a bar. The phrase 629cd57014 “if you’ve 11b05c877e unsheathed the 15eb644212 sword, you b2a248e6ac might as 8707a18692 well use d7d36f9d48 it” came 15d75ae6f6 to mind. Now that 42a6b7aa88 I was 115724a07d here, there fa5591f814 was no 212e228f46 way I’d 387f7246f0 return home 5e9447e506 before sunrise.c3d2a3e7fd4ea6cb

“What if he 2087a60c11 finds out? Your boyfriend looks like a5cd3e7ea5 the type to get dd481a6f46 pissed… Are you sure fba8b3e30d he won’t break up e262d7b322 with you?”f198c2471e789a9a

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“He’s out f6ff4a9774 of the 50b4fbe335 country right 9b8026e614 now. No way he’ll b28aa52610 find out,” I 456baaeedb said confidently, putting 9cfb64b89b Eunju’s worries to 614cf5704b rest.29c9e3387575ed90

And so, for 1b71d4af5d the first time 143241ac83 in two months, 82f552e449 I let loose. We went wild through 36a050888f our drinks, ending up ae3982e35e at a karaoke bar fcf832c658 for the third round. Even that wasn’t 21128f18b6 enough, so we 39607d828f stumbled to Eunju’s 1de2694648 tiny apartment for 95373aecc8 the fourth one. After climbing a abf780d47e steep flight of 0a005044c0 stairs that felt 0b18608a30 like a mountain, 98f9d25a17 we continued partying 246308545e until well past 6985d2b315 dawn. Eventually, I ac2ec95954 collapsed into 19c3dfd994 a cramped f0c0294b51 corner of 829b92756a her one-room b6922a3f31 apartment, surrounded a398bc80f0 by sprawled-out 6ceda918ab bodies and 8bb81c7ccf empty bottles.8a55caba6fe2709b

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Bzzzzz.f30d872731508b75

The vibration ea3b101844 jolted me 75d42c4875 awake like e47167bcfe a bolt 8895c06d8b of lightning. I sat up straight, b82b5254d6 my heart pounding.56c92ff7fe3c0be0

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 defc6d374b912e39

[Lunatic❤️: Eunha.]

 23cfde3c69724a6c

My stomach plummeted. It felt like c1aecfaf97 staring Death straight f6978186cb in the face. Why was he texting ea2a622c5a me my name so c5508fed2d ominously? Cold sweat 415f543390 dripped down 5b77fafb32 my temples. Fumbling with a water 0664c27119 bottle, I took a fed257da88 swig and forced myself 8c8c096dd0 to type a reply, 6b89c9db18 keeping calm.6edcba156ff1df3b

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 2dcb687938efd84f

[Just woke up. Still tired. What time is it over there in New York?]

[Lunatic❤️: Are you going back to sleep?]

[I think I will.]

 ddc185a60e5c28c3

Relief washed over 15a0945d30 me. I hadn’t been 11d232f867 caught. He was just d811c3a1a7 being weird. Still, the fa8fd93aec scare had e76c02b591 completely killed 4aed8727ad my sleepiness. I clutched my cb6e394093 phone nervously, waiting eeed9e92c9 for another response, bb15423cca but nothing came.4c08789c221f17bd

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“…I should 1e247941fe head home.”441de61f71787805

I carefully 76423a6d4f rose, trying 1e3d5547a6 not to 9de486f5a7 disturb the 44f03c790f others. My quiet movements 31fc9ffbd2 stirred a few de3b41809f light sleepers, and 875470eda2 soon everyone began 14b2cf7111 groggily gathering their effb748f4e belongings. Judging by 16b7a50a9e their sluggish a49ce5de81 pace, it 63bbf53a7c seemed everyone 36941a36a2 was desperate 41664c185f to go 10102c26c0 home, shower, ee38cd1215 and crawl c8560c93ca into bed.4687fe3bc816c699

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The harsh sunlight 49b6dbcdc8 greeted us as 344607a885 we stumbled out 6ace158cf3 of the apartment 2d21e3c226 building. I squinted against the 6ac50a86a8 glare, shielding my eyes 967cb8a5fb with a hand. That’s when 256c1de78d I saw 1274f180ca it, an 71e9c8d58d unmistakable figure 435d88f002 in the 187892dc88 distance. My legs froze on 63a15c7289 the spot.c11b0bd6fb7da478

Why the hell is 003bf4af76 the guy who’s supposed 328602a6be to be in New cab9a4ea6e York…here? I blinked 35e4917f37 hard, wondering cbe9b4ebe2 if I 041309887d was dreaming. My vision sharpened, and 4f87f18af3 Kwon Itae came into caced3a205 focus—clearly and vividly. Gulp. A dry swallow ee26d1039c slipped down my ceb5167483 throat. He stood in front b72addd271 of me, face stiffened 823d581fbf like a wax doll. My classmates, 94fdf2654f sensing something a463eda787 intense in a0ab89627b his aura, 8167ed5a22 quietly stepped 5afbd311e0 back a 83bbc52a9c few paces, 199b07a3ea widening the 40431f58bf distance between 39d5bbe7b7 us.222fe207e754b973

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“How are you here?….”6eb1388b0ab009ef

“Don’t steal my damn 10019aafe2 words, Eunha.”d2336c114765a74b

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“…….”02e65090890f0116

His sharp, icy 91d079662b gaze bore into 91f79dd968 me. I watched 51e51d9b9a as his 314c8526ae jaw clenched 621c3b9eb7 and unclenched, 0393d172b6 clearly struggling 02d73f5461 to contain 6c704d4fca his anger.2e9c2268b6eb9d80

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“I don’t understand what’s 4eeb7e9f9d going on right now.”88586f7d3dac54a5

“…What do you mean?”f6b38977322c9b3f

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“I was b1c20afffb told you 4879004d34 were at 854fc892c9 a bar aefcb22f76 near campus. But you told 122c60a0c6 me you were 60363dcffb home. One of those statements 9dbe9a6f7a is a lie. And I didn’t think e36792eea2 it would be you 07dfa6519d who lied.”3f1f0a1ebe66b143

“…….”1af9e4055173cb56

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“I dropped everything—my dad’s 4ef334ebc8 birthday party, everything—and flew 0f513b4da5 back to Korea, ready 7051022b64 to tear into my f1578b24e6 driver for giving me d5d82a82b0 false information.”f209e94f009cba9b

A bitter smirk af6a8e39ce twisted his lips.fc57f2b5ead0df57

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“Turns out, it 50b2a38343 was my girlfriend 2518c77913 who stabbed me 04e2dd092d in the back.”50091db961e26098

“You had b4a59007be me followed?” e6f88afe7b I asked, 396f4b08b9 incredulous.87dcef9cfff12573

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“And that bothers you ec47e5ec38 again, huh.”d9dcc84e7eb944b4

“I know I 89aacd9faa don’t really have f31d675c5f the right to 9892b0aaf3 complain this time…but fb6ee19931 still, you’re going 537c52a976 too far. What’s wrong with having b78624cb9d someone keep an eye 3185ce105b on my girlfriend while f1485060fe I’m away for a b488d8877f few days?”70f4caf3aa20e4d7

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“I get it. You’re mad. But let me remind f930bc288b you: your life is 3fcf6ba08d full of flies buzzing 46f4e47841 around you. You’re bad bfb172351e at resisting 86d2dba09c temptation. You’ve had dangerous eb9628ab74 encounters before. And let’s not 3c0bf8295c forget—you’ve lied to 97bf467a9b me before. But I’m supposed to a157446176 blindly trust you? You think it’s that fd1f72752d easy to make a 14d936af12 fool of someone, Eunha?”5bc1e22d15f7cac8

The quiet 851d59b3cb fury in fe42aa906b his eyes 54679c21a0 mirrored the 38a687f95e storm raging 8814f26919 inside me. Yes, his words 314527fa7f made sense, but dcb0fa9d88 wasn’t this overkill? Spying on me? Following me? All because 4b5325fecb I went c631790d05 out for 24e29114b2 drinks?c7b28cbcd6472d7a

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He didn’t know the a449fdcba7 meaning of moderation. It felt 2820579d00 like he 22112e7fdb wanted to 55de1b1f63 turn every 4a9e1a7a42 petty argument e191a49dc4 into a e1e2cc3925 full-blown psychological 2777cac1df thriller.33dc3d86c1f61501

“…..”c837d01eed786169

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“…..”001fcd6ed88b46c3

Instead of a ea8bc5f0a9 response, I gave e0516f04da him a glare c7307b99e3 of my own.5cfd9ff5c74b2a3d

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“Sometimes, I really think 613956297c you’re a fucking lunatic.”137470f7d01ca35e

I was the 040284e777 first to break 332344698a the silence. I tried 623b530253 to control d2ef4f7b33 my anger, 6533173aad but my 70b88705d6 words came f97098f9d8 out harsher f71374c6c0 than I f3e4841ff8 intended.655b91c87dde153b

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“And you’re 62f3bcddfc the one 373db349a2 who makes dde8ae6a74 me look 8df3a7d93b like one.”5ee8ee30b276b9d7

“Stop suffocating me!”52d7d504e42b1c61

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“And you 8c8d6e91b1 stop sucking 589615a5af the life c4cfb675fb out of e4987a79c6 me!” he ba704a7ff5 retorted.7862efb09366f232

“…….”b14795ecb6a603ff

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“Where do I bf652d6c2e even rank in e942a73f6b your life, huh? Celebrities, booze, classmates—you even f6a194fadd care more about stray 79be6659e8 cats than me. What am cd52e509de I to 7f699b01de you?”1055167c6825cfa0

We stood ad6f16290e there, glaring 0e377e4f11 at each d6ba263bc7 other, the c65aaad57c tension thick e416ab60b1 enough to 9d317e4b2e choke on. The watching eyes of ee52de304f my classmates faded into 6ad5146ad1 the background. It seemed 8e23127002 communication felt 42c1671a71 impossible. Yi-tae ran a 7f625e0e10 hand through his 8e932afaf3 hair in frustration. I walked past him. He called my 5060fa1915 name, but I d3507ef40d pretended not to d08a2d5d73 hear. An emotion 5c6266f297 I didn’t cf95ec7421 know whether 149543911f to call 20d4e36459 fury or dcb6acc15c disappointment swirled 9b701022f9 in my 5b2688b8fa chest.0b544d2f5c10d810

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I was about to 56b5c84353 run down the stairs, eb57e88f9c breathing heavily.5bad1c987eb98c08

“Eek-!”056fa82062b2e2d5

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For a moment, I 341b4eca57 misstepped, my foot slipping 617aa84b82 out from under me. I tipped forward, 915fecc28f the stone stairs 8c4318d337 rushing toward my 55a4b33989 face.0e95abb394d551c0

“Eunha!” Yi-tae shouted.386f3b296fd0b20e

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At that moment, someone b6a57f733c from behind pulled me 7063254cec tightly into their arms. I instinctively 853f46699c squeezed my d205c39313 eyes shut, ccf12d2bb1 frightened by 33a360a82a the impact 38a7f056e1 I felt 20b55c2928 coming. The sensation 9cbe705542 of falling 549a9b1f90 downward was 7c9c063dad unfamiliar, but 2973c50b38 despite the 87560b1fb3 heart-dropping dizziness, 2b18891731 there was 17daf82f32 no pain.76ef766c5436d178

Soon after—thud!—my 873ab9890a body fully 56b2557622 fell below.35df62e667f4bf9f

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I heard the panicked eecf515136 footsteps of classmates hurriedly a18de2cba5 running down the stairs.0cad441b22754e5a

“Ugh…”3b197cca2d3ff11a

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When I e96861b0a5 opened my a0acc439ac eyes, I 47f6c285a2 was pressed 1de7edd9fb against Yi-tae’s 67ba365afa chest. He had 9fba9ea2e6 caught me 02e84b4df5 mid-fall, taking 89f0f638d7 the brunt a674fc2d2e of the 95477f2017 impact himself. Guilt surged as I 351266fee0 scrambled off him. He winced, gripping his c0865701a4 arm, unable to stand ba936bd2b8 right away.147b8008a1317e33

“1, 119… Hurry!”fc23fe739a2be6cc

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A chill ran down c203b704c6 my spine as I 83b020b05f saw him clutch his 101d0f1d04 arm in pain. I couldn’t move. All I 45f34b293f could do b377af4e67 was watch fa26dd4a8e helplessly as 0ba0d74303 an ambulance 24fcfb336f arrived. The moment b0bcb2791d they took 010c03a6a7 him away, 98cd61dbd1 the tears d80f85b496 I’d been 9f6a9253f6 holding back af4c15edf8 spilled over 3311fd142a uncontrollably.17fb9e1175035e79

 5c60610ba8e08898

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***c47f1114c4e2d3ed

 c1f0cc793864c169

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Kwon Yi-tae had fractured 61bb09e8fc his right arm and 30efee696b undergone surgery to insert 589acb4adf metal pins. I sat by, 56a950c46e waiting for him a2f03e9bb1 to wake up 69da3f1943 from the anesthesia, eac7057233 crying so hard 780b04c163 that the sleeves c65baa4705 of my shirt f4f4bc4b58 were soaked through.0a3038101c473e8c

Hours passed c7a1a1d6db with me 916c215de0 sniffling outside 7d2f506d00 the hospital c93d8f6acc room. Finally, a nurse came 4929857b79 out and told me 23f97c843f to bring clothes and e86f9d15e8 essentials for the patient.bb4f1cd11435f445

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At his place, c13c465f2c I packed everything a1e25b57f1 he might need c81ac13716 into a large 43813550d6 backpack; underwear, socks, 686de2f9d9 lotion, a razor, de045dbf78 anything I could 843b3099d3 think of. The bag 65edc7deb3 was as d893918c6e big as 4a195c8972 my torso, f06311cfdb and I 4a248d3756 hauled it e8949206e7 onto my 5093514e24 back before 8fac365ed7 hailing a e058210669 cab to 1de811ea1d return to 42860ae5b5 the hospital. Since his uncle was 3917fcaadf the hospital director, Yi-tae d0d8af390d was recovering in a be0e57d477 VVIP suite.330fe84fcfde93db

As I 87cf48fda1 gently pushed 6b9d963408 the door 0ec88f5603 open, I d0277d981c heard voices c3800d0418 drifting through 6ed6173407 the narrow 8858afdcfd gap.af1544a842831b85

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– “You little shit, b81ce42f8e do you think what 60665a95c4 I’m saying is a 006a35dc5b joke?!”7c1e25d90d3ff20a

The voice shouting at d0fedab303 Yi-tae was all too 99bd277d84 familiar—his eldest brother, Kwon c784dbb90f Juhyuk. Among Yi-tae’s 4fac448e13 family members, 5a5106eee7 he was 4f47e86d68 the one 5ace0a8f5b I feared d4510b2b28 most.daaaa03d0a14e0f2

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“Just get to 03a6770efc the point.”56ed38b21180eb88

– “Do 9ae6073e4d you know 3c4794ed6e how happy 308c1323ba Dad was e129959f65 to see 918e87d195 your face f5bd1c911d again after 0db6178a76 so long? And yet you just 6bf0f534be dropped off a gift e2dfab4061 and bolted straight back d58ffb1ad9 to Korea? You’d better 5338026411 prepare to 2636185f34 take a 18992d7a2d bullet to 7c1139c675 the head 57e650e556 the next ff51f00572 time I 289873dca0 see you.”e766221165562d7c

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“Is this a 8240b3f1fe lecture or a f7c7f9263d death threat?”62fb4b89e8cd2087

– “Yesterday, while dd788fc7a7 cutting his birthday 23c76e429a cake, Dad actually 3d266542ff cried. All he ever 2051f5bee7 asked for was 524d8273b3 for you to 662c971ac3 show up on fdc71e884a his and Mom’s e54d8813ae birthdays. Was that so difficult?”a31ed0822db2da6c

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“Tell them I’ll 519bf6c2a9 call on video 97080a4205 chat.”13850116789a6385

– “Even when you 90f6f17815 gave up your U.S. citizenship and said 6efea83604 you’d move to 7379235be8 Korea permanently, Mom 36b8f6d3aa and Dad didn’t 8e8d0845a9 rip your head e4c6d17681 off. Instead, they handed you 416c3a71b4 the deed to every fa42d34b18 piece of property they f7e587daed own there. And this is how db454c28c6 you repay them? You can’t 55f7796a23 do this 2016d5b2e3 to them, 76c4288f83 you bastard. Haa…this won’t do. Forget this stupid game 05a8b6904c and come back to 849206cde5 the States.”c40518153ed03ebd

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“I’m hanging up.”a8143760238a3076

– “Hey, Kwon 9737d476f0 Yi-tae! Don’t you…!”5afbfe44ffca6af8

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The call 6911d91a1b cut off 5f45df6eb6 abruptly, but a114370492 the parts 8f923785ee I had f2b0b7fd7c overheard only a677e992bd deepened my 0017f377f3 guilt. Yi-tae had given up 6bdc440d3e his U.S. citizenship the moment he c2c126e604 come of age just a496391b5e to be with me. Hearing that again, I abc602f582 felt smaller than ever, b4635447a2 like nothing I could 36f3f8bee7 do would measure up.a1a8c6c61fdea780

 fef0e51c0f78ba3b

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“Where do 5b388356e1 I even 76f1eb6f58 rank in 74fe770b07 your life? Celebrities, booze, 3054195ca0 classmates—even stray f67abc0d94 cats get d3755bb243 your sympathy, d47b4a04b0 but where c2d13b789b am I 115f630c41 in all b4bde94213 that? What am b24ad75aca I to 02a260058d you?”491e77b0093b6a73

 28380443e8e65428

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His words a5e3c1c0a3 echoed in 0597bcba2d my mind, e6bf65414a cutting deep. For him, I was d4d8fee40b always the top priority. But for me? I had taken his a9da8e4f6c care for granted, treating 7892adb104 it as something I 70953c248e was simply owed. I’d dismissed his fc06d7ebcc love as interference, 65b034c276 an obstacle between 6fab185790 me and my a1656ce25f freedom to drink d2fe85e0a4 and party.31b680a26c1769af

I felt so 98f3313ef1 sorry for Yi-tae, 77d4d3326e who now has 09855448c7 a brokn arm a73d86d1c6 because of me… 096977697f I couldn’t bring a93fcbf7f7 myself to ife d9de57aa08 my head.e81c211bf8b7072c

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“Eunha.”3f9158168f646209

“….”fd432a059d5c2ad0

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When Yi-tae 77156ad2a3 spotted me, 094b30f519 he gave 074c925629 a slight b2e803b0aa jerk of 113cd127ad his chin, 9871fe77d7 gesturing for 5dbdc1cece me to 1cbb586797 come closer. I put the f04763a4cf backpack down on 0cd52ca346 the sofa and 7da60424f0 shuffled hesitantly toward a1cb86d488 him. He frowned suddenly, his 2db2905e16 expression tightening.30b279e3bcc8e51d

“What’s wrong! Are you in 3da417a3a9 pain?”d14a1d44f797a3f5

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But instead of answering, a2b95c3659 he swung his legs 0438afc45f off the bed and eba40cfb44 stood. With the IV still 0a3a6e39df attached to his arm, 22472ec9e2 he grabbed my forearm 306660a327 and guided me to 4bd857a83b sit down on the c59200de86 bed.4156400924576030

“You’re hurt.”a1726674d534ad21

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Then, kneeling f62d1868c5 on one fd4f15a263 knee, he 1d48693ef1 cradled my 81392991fb left foot 40d2270f63 in his 564973d24e palm.7214ac2194d1cb90

“Hey, let go! I’m still wearing my 4a77c19cfd shoes!”ad62e7c14464abb7

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He ignored me, lowering eed386e076 his head as though f3dc268a51 I hadn’t said a ce4b4da0b9 word. Leaning in, he abe4bf02e9 blew gently over 996f0f31f7 my scuffed knee, bf498e9be3 where the skin 03f11e48a5 was slightly scraped. Hoo. His breath was soft, 68bab6e3b0 almost reverent, like he 0b94c6dc49 was tending to something 87ac00f429 precious.2bfc4af2a09db8bf

Looking at 37ab54c313 his bandaged e1f5b99873 right arm, c5726cbe9d my heart 9f92650cbb clenched painfully. The tears f66032361b I’d been 5d35a540fd holding back 38f0295b09 spilled over, a8a895ca23 streaming uncontrollably 7e22bc7395 down my 3b20ffd0b8 cheeks and 4f54b343ac soaking my 1ef03f68a7 thighs.9fc1414bf836dba8

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