PEN Vol 3 Ch. 12

Sejin eventually spent a restless night.

It took him quite a while to calm the uncontrollable heat raging inside him. But it wasn’t simply physical excitement from witnessing something so intimate that left him awake.

As he lay on his side in bed, staring out the window, the more he recalled what he had seen, the less it felt like excitement consuming him—and the more it felt like anger.

Yes, Kwon Sejin was furious. 

He didn’t know why, but he was. He was just angry. 

He was just annoyed with Cheon Sejoo. 

He just didn’t like Cheon Sejoo.

He was disappointed, upset, and confused.

Tossing and turning in bed, unable to make sense of his own emotions, Sejin muttered curses to himself throughout the night. Eventually, he drifted off into a light, restless sleep, too tired to stay awake, and even then, he ended up having a strange dream.

In his dream, Sejin found himself in bed with Cheon Sejoo. Cheon Sejoo gently caressed his cheek, smiling with that same odd expression, and Sejin turned his head, kissing the top of Cheon Sejoo’s foot. It wasn’t some kind of yoga position or anything; but it was only possible because Cheon Sejoo was underneath him. His knees were drawn up and his legs were spread wide, just like Kang Doyoon had been the night before.

What on earth is this?

At the height of his confusion, Sejin jolted awake.

And he found his underwear uncomfortably damp.

He couldn’t make sense of the changes happening within himself. He couldn’t understand why he felt so angry over Cheon Sejoo sleeping with another man, why he had had such a bizarre dream that mirrored that same scene, or why he had woken up in this state. 

And so, morning came.

After washing and hanging up his underwear to dry, Sejin left his room, still overwhelmed with confusion.

If there was one thing he knew for certain, it was this.

Today, he absolutely didn’t want to face Cheon Sejoo.

Determined to leave for school before Sejoo returned from his morning workout, he hurried to the living room. But as he entered the kitchen, he saw someone sitting at the table. It was the man from last night. Kwon Sejin, who hadn’t expected to run into him like this, stopped in his tracks, his expression hardening as he stared at the man eating cereal with milk.

Sensing Sejin’s gaze, Doyoon looked back at him, his face still full of drowsiness.

“……”

“……”

A moment of awkward silence settled between them. It was Doyoon, who was more socially adept than Sejin, who broke the silence first. Flashing a bright smile, Doyoon greeted him.

“Hey, so you’re the kid Sejoo hyung mentioned, right?”

His voice sounded a little hoarse, likely from all the crying and sobbing he had done. 

Sejin frowned deeply at the scene that flashed in his mind and headed toward the kitchen without saying a word. He took out some side dishes for himself, scooped some rice into a bowl, and started preparing his meal. 

Doyoon, still sitting at the table with milk lingering on his upper lip like a mustache, looked at him and spoke. 

“You don’t have to make anything for me. Eating after drinking makes me feel sick…”

As if Sejin had any intention of making food for him. Doyoon’s shamelessness, paired with his casual tone, made Sejin’s stomach churn. He fumed over the milk thief’s nerve, but let out a small scoff and went on setting his own meal. He sat across from Doyoon and picked up his spoon, feigning indifference.

They ate in silence, but Sejin couldn’t help but frown as a breeze blew in through the open window in the living room, carrying with it a familiar scent. It was the fragrance of Cheon Sejoo’s shampoo and body wash, and it was coming from Doyoon. 

Once again, an inexplicable surge of irritation washed over Sejin.

The products, which he was also using, felt distinctly unpleasant when it wafted from Doyoon. 

I should change all my shower products.

He made up his mind as he continued his meal.

“Hmm…”

On the other side of the table, Doyoon rested his chin in his hand and stared at Sejin with an oddly serious expression. Doyoon already knew that Cheon Sejoo had someone living with him. He had even run into Cheon Sejoo previously when he had attempted to visit him, only to be told that Cheon Sejoo was taking care of a “kid,” so they had met outside instead. 

However, he hadn’t expected that “kid” to be someone this beautiful, enough to make anyone’s head turn. Doyoon’s gaze wandered over Sejin’s face and body, scrutinizing him with growing concern.

“Hey…”

Doyoon remembered how, when he had asked who Cheon Sejoo was living with, Sejoo had only given vague answers. Not a sibling, not someone who worked with him, not even a relative—just someone he happened to be living with.

With this in mind, Doyoon called out to Sejin softly. But Sejin, busy shoveling side dishes into his mouth, barely acknowledged him as if he couldn’t hear him. Undeterred, Doyoon continued in a low voice as he cautiously asked.

“You and Sejoo hyung… are you close?”

Surprised by the sudden question, Sejin stopped chewing his food and looked up. When Doyoon saw his face up close, he silently swallowed a gasped. The kid had an incredibly beautiful face, almost unbelievable—so much so that Doyoon, who considered himself somewhat attractive, knew he couldn’t compare to the young man before him. 

His heart sank at the realization.

Unfortunarely, Doyoon knew all too well Cheon Sejoo’s taste in partners.

Cheon Sejoo had a well-known preference for smaller and more delicate bottoms like Doyoon himself. Usually, he liked cat-like beauties, pale, slender, and around 175 cm tall. While the boy in front of him had a more distinctly masculine build than Doyoon, his face alone could make up for that so his frame wouldn’t matter.

It might be an overreaction, but knowing Cheon Sejoo’s line of work, Doyoon couldn’t help but worry about this situation. Here was a kid who should be able to rely on foster care or welfare services, yet the child in front of him was relying on Cheon Sejoo, a complete stranger. 

Why?

Doyoon hoped the reason wasn’t because Cheon Sejoo had coerced him. Trying not to assume the worst, Doyoon decided to probe gently.

“I know this might be a bit out of the blue, but, um, even between close relationships, things can get… uncomfortable sometimes… Right? You know what I mean? That could happen. I actually have this hobby of helping people work through their worries, so if you ever got something on your mind, something you can’t talk to anyone else about, you can always come to me. I’m really good at keeping secrets.”

Doyoon trusted Cheon Sejoo. 

Well, he trusted half of him. He believed Sejoo was a good person as he trusted the version of Cheon Sejoo who was kind, caring, and considerate—the side that showed up in their intimate moments. 

However, he didn’t presume to know about the parts of him he hadn’t seen, such as the Cheon Sejoo who dealt with his work in the organization. The side of Cheon Sejoo that Doyoon hadn’t encountered could be anyone. 

For all Doyoon knew, the Cheon Sejoo he didn’t know could very well be, in places beyond his sight, someone who tormented, oppressed, or even assaulted others—a complete piece of trash. And that thought left him concerned about the boy sitting before him.

“Just so you know, I’m not super close with Sejoo hyung or anything! So you don’t have to worry that your, uh, really important secrets, and awkward problems will get back to him.”

“…….”

Sejin raised his head at Doyoon’s words. After staring at him with an unreadable expression, he asked as if to confirm.

“If that’s not being close, then what exactly is the relationship between you two?”

Doyoon’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest at Sejin’s question.

Could Sejoo hyung actually be messing with this kid?

Or is he just asking to be sure, since I came in with Sejoo and he feels uneasy?

Doyoon widened his eyes in an attempt to make himself look more alert, meeting Sejin’s gaze head-on and replied.

“We’re just… people who meet up sometimes for drinks. Nothing else. No other feelings between us whatsoever. You could say… we just help each other out from time to time to keep our lives peaceful. You know… as f-friends?”

“For just being friends, you seemed awfully… affectionate.”

“What?”

Affectionate?  

Doyoon tilted his head and puffed out his cheeks in confusion. He hadn’t even considered that Sejin might have witnessed their intimate encounter in the early morning, and only assumed that Sejin must have seen them interacting casually when they arrived at the house yesterday. Smiling slightly, Doyoon responded.

“Sejoo hyung’s always like that. He was nice to me from the very first time we met. So don’t read too much into it. Just know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. My sister’s a cop, too. So, she can help if you need it.”

As Doyoon rambled on, Sejin, who had thought Doyoon was a bit out of the head for suggesting he share his troubles with him when they’d just met, finally understood the purpose of this odd conversation after he brought up his sister being a police officer. 

This guy, Doyoon, suspected Cheon Sejoo. Sejin’s expression twisted in irritation.

Seeing Sejin’s reaction, Doyoon quickly added more, as if in defense of his words. 

“I mean, it’s not like I think Sejoo hyung’s a bad person or anything! I’m just saying, in case you’re dealing with anything difficult or need help, you can tell me…”

Doyoon glanced at Sejin anxiously as he rambled on, seemingly believing that Sejin understood by now but Sejin didn’t seem to have much more to say. He simply cleared his dishes and got up from the table, looking slightly more at ease than when they’d first run into each other.

Maybe I’ve been too suspicious of hyung…. 

Doyoon scratched his head as he cleaned up his own cereal bowl. As he did, he noticed Sejin’s phone lying on the table, picked it up, and said,

“Here, I’ll put my number in. Call me if anything comes up.”

It wasn’t that Doyoon was entirely convinced that Cheon Sejoo had done something wrong. However, he couldn’t ignore even the small chance that that Cheon Sejoo, who wasn’t exactly a model citizen, might have done something terrible to the child. Even if his worries turned out to be for nothing, Doyoon didn’t mind too much. If Cheon Sejoo was innocent, he would probably just laugh it off.

“……”

Sejin looked on disapprovingly, watching Doyoon save his contact info in his phone, which wasn’t even locked. 

He then headed to his room to change into his school uniform. When he came back out after changing, he saw that Doyoon had fallen asleep on the sofa where Cheon Sejoo usually sprawled out. Sejin stood there, took one long look at the uninvited guest, then scoffed and left the house.