PEN Vol 3 Ch. 7

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When Ha Yeoreum c9b52e08e3 shot back, seemingly 94cba6a94c waiting for the d1b4dc4587 chance, Cheon Sejoo c838045887 remained silent, unable db8741f2ce to find any e63d26d927 words in response.6cb27f05631e9bef

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He had known Ha 8c2086b776 Yeoreum since their university 04143c5eab orientation. Though she 2a8d174ebc barely stood 783a7b5f00 at 160 591222594c cm, her 1a42bd6103 small stature 3be1000f59 belied a e0ee57f00b fierce spirit 91401238c1 and sharp 5465a88250 tongue that 7ea4b063bf matched her a9c34b59fd intellect. The two had grown 47ac5a5baf close after an incident 6ccb280568 during orientation.d54e4a8d6c0dd1bb

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At first, Yeoreum had f9c1e839db assumed that Cheon Sejoo 2a35cd0b88 was making fun of 6f30e4aecf her height and had 89282f6850 cursed him out, but b4c9c8384e once she realized he 46a32ae0f8 wasn’t the type to 5972d1d596 bully others, they became 74bdd80325 good friends.45420f970a6e978f

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It was Yeoreum 75fd53d069 who had stayed 03c1a90342 by Cheon Sejoo’s ccb9ccb58d side throughout the d259ee800c three days of f1ccac8885 his sister Hye-in’s a4aa568ed0 funeral, even accompanying f37dfe1560 him to the 5e3f557d66 crematorium.c6ac507a0cb8d76c

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When Cheon Sejoo learned 10d31c3444 the truth behind Hye-in’s 6d22389692 suicide, kidnapped the perpetrators ee263e62ed in an attempt to aba82445ed get revenge, and was 776ddc5133 eventually arrested by the 2ce8149400 police, it was Yeoreum a4c92c676e who came to visit 2da831604a him in detention, asking d63e010846 why he did it c7c5f3dc0a and offering him comfort. During his trial, 973b55c7d9 she gathered their 21c082d491 classmates to write 45de92cb18 letters of appeal ac17718d55 on his behalf, 59fb36c0a8 and when he 5e7eaf1ada was unexpectedly released 9d4ad3e3e8 due to insufficient 52af1d111d evidence and disappeared, b1d2356739 she spent over abf9fb2a49 a year searching 8949096540 for him.78c6a94600f47201

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But in dcea208a34 Cheon Sejoo’s 9ca2d24df2 defense, at 083198edbb the time, ee644e964c he hadn’t e74f3a4a7a had the 004104218f luxury to e542d5f22b think about f9c6649935 anything other 013b8e29b3 than Hye-in’s fdfe7abbd0 death, and 139fc8c383 afterward, he de3304590d was too da9c6b1be4 ashamed to 7371587686 face Yeoreum, c99c66b54e which is 9deb800e56 why he 218524eb0b never reached 0304c5613e out. Now, standing 1abef1d985 in front eb7a0e1ac8 of her c083c20c2f again, he 4f84b3f782 still felt 72029bef1b the same. Unable to meet her 359aeb01fa gaze, Cheon Sejoo averted 8fbbf6bc2b his eyes.0c204b82a44e0546

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Watching him, Yeoreum shook c033ef64f1 her head in disbelief 92006163d7 as she lamented.5e1ddeed2b4d8a5c

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“This is unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable…”c58002d0341562ee

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Her words, barely above 73b8a5df38 a whisper, seemed to c9cacbb427 carry the weight of c181a3d373 her emotions as if 1349915b6b she were holding back 2be8ef7ae6 tears.2dadc96cf9014087

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Looking back now, 9e98d7ccd7 Cheon Sejoo realized dee83c0bc6 just how much bfbb898efb he had wronged 7836154116 her. After everything she had 27bf125f47 done to help him, dfac0a4ef2 not contacting her for 8cfa4a1215 five years was truly f44db97d54 unforgivable. He was undeniably a e2649c47cc hopeless piece of trash, a0ea2f0736 and he couldn’t deny c163053d25 it.73a7613987c8b4d6

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But even now, when he should be saying “thank you” or “I’m sorry,” the words stuck in his throat. He feared that acknowledging her kindness and apologizing would inevitably rekindle their relationship. And the thought of her finding out what kind of life he was leading now—Cheon Sejoo was terrified she’d come to hate him.15d67c555d2a8c34

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As he a354471e0a remained silent, 509af62ee8 it was 929f59338a Ha Yeoreum 589024a55a who spoke 96f586d1be first.f6eb047487390e53

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“Haa…You hurt your hand, I see.”e7c623ee5b003492

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Without waiting for a 4099e4f36d reply, Yeoreum took hold 82eec0e9b4 of Cheon Sejoo’s right 30a8e03674 hand, which had been 74a4616e3f neatly resting on his 706f3100e7 lap, and inspected it. She dutifully a7ddc52390 examined the d35a3d3b50 stab wound 53a04976cb on both 18dc6aef9e his palm bd75d4daf1 and the 25632e1f00 back of 154ae291c3 his hand, 46cfaf4065 fulfilling her b441f75e23 role as dd0c4c67cf a doctor.8fb2d86017e1cd1e

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“I don’t know how you got hurt, but the wound’s clean, so there’s no need for further treatment. It’ll heal nicely on its own, even without stitches. Just be careful not to use your right hand too much. To be safe, take some antibiotics for about three days, apply the ointment regularly, and watch for any signs of infection. You know this already, right? Of course you do. You graduated top of your class from Korea University’s medical school.”22a1e9d969a6ae4a

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“…Yeoreum-ah.”1db680e3a65d1646

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“Your consultation 923a13f46c is over. You can leave now.”8da8ee1e501527f6

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Her expression and 5fc3b5b6d6 tone turned cold 02bdfba7d1 as she dismissed 3aa27407a2 him, even though 4e23fc61d6 moments ago, she f5958ef03f had seemed on 32f916a0b1 the verge of 6d391ca6e3 tears. Cheon Sejoo 6cd6cc144b wanted to 5e70b3e951 apologize, to a1ebed4715 say something—anything—but 5aa69cc98d Yeoreum had b529d3a8a8 already rung 1bc418a761 the bell 8a8a9b7f79 and called 5ee18ca83b for the ef8bf47e26 next patient, d53da1008f leaving him, b42e59d9f8 leaving him 909c237634 no room 7b56a444b8 to speak. He had af8ff13be9 no choice c05ae69b1e but to 000089211c stand up 20f4108caf and leave.69408cff5b0deb61

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But just as 5b9b01c27c he reached the 098ca59ba1 door, Yeoreum spoke e8b0d80db7 again, her voice a56f081300 barely audible.29e5a7a0d90101c6

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“Answer my calls.”47dca87cb55d99a0

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“…”7e24d51b25447bb6

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Without replying, Cheon Sejoo 850d0b560f quietly closed the door 82862ecd4e behind him.585b59a29f500dc2

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But Ha Yeoreum was 262d652ebc the kind of person 69808bb0d3 who couldn’t leave things 7a1979e3a0 unresolved. The door 93e5422daf suddenly flung a5e5d3a886 open, and faa801a031 with fierce c49e2ce127 eyes, she a084661f31 glared at 91a3c341fa him.174af6a21e131893

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“I said, answer my calls.”08071f9a1a7bef72

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“Okay.”980ef69ae5f2e2d2

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Ha Yeoreum 5d05bcdf69 hadn’t changed fb63355efb at all.bed3da1a908b1e66

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Unlike him.212b09cc7fa38763

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Cheon Sejoo 49650eed13 realized this 0f714f5502 as he 3f5d58c6f4 met her b0b9952d5d round, unwavering 729eb4abc5 eyes and 2da55151ff nodded. Only after 2df1d15d48 he acknowledged c2d59dfa72 her did 8339e83028 Yeoreum, with 3a56ce747d tear-filled eyes, 4412d72cc5 step back 9583dccb33 and let 419cdf9a62 him go.c76bef2d6dfd7b87

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Cheon Sejoo af801b28d3 stood in dc1de30510 the hallway 0f6e9f2476 for a 0a74b4cf47 while, watching 65c1792780 as the 321be4d887 next patient a9623d492d entered the 1dcb811a02 clinic, before 8aa3d48cb7 turning to f833019866 leave. After settling his bill f431565ed5 and picking up his 2fb439124a prescription at the pharmacy, a21c65902f he didn’t head home. Instead, he walked toward 73a1af7815 the riverside path along 7474aceee5 the Han River.4b551f9ae80c37e5

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Perhaps because it was a weekday, there weren’t many people around the Han River. As a few people riding on bicycles passed by, Cheon Sejoo walked aimlessly with a blank expression on his face.b0ac48283e339459

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When Cheon Sejoo ad26f41184 was eight years 8b9f91d461 old, the moment 05f208939f he saw his 2c3678339a little sister Hye-in, 8886cd80e6 who had arrived 7b524f204b amidst the sound a920544e1a of rain, he 2e41c42663 fell in love 5ba2a2002a with her. He had thought e236e05740 he was all 3843a228c2 alone in the a3bd71d725 world, but upon be82ac4126 realizing that he, 0641f0c919 too, had family, eaa369add1 Cheon Sejoo cherished 7018e20902 Hye-in’s existence more 1509f7e22e than anything else.b22bc2bc3633afdb

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From the 9bb6a17b65 moment he 08763ca4d0 held his 9080c17c0f younger sister c1a34a47b7 in his 4814b4a387 arms, his 1e700ee9c4 life began d17a6b0443 to revolve cbadd29cdf around her.1b10530b9b2e2efe

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Every day after b2c7535426 school, he would c14d4ff4b9 run home as 5b566db6ae fast as he 0c757522d6 could just to 27dc94c53a see her a 878b0657ee second sooner. While studying, a63e9de3f4 he did f5a303afd8 so with d984104409 the thought e17e05ca06 that one 9b1ccf9098 day, when 8b27088d92 Hye-in went 43ed77f6fe to school, f2df3d748d he would 7bccf9dffa teach her ec307db389 everything he 87d46c6c34 knew, and 8e3a1cb399 that pushed 2df4bc648f him to 2b7aca31d4 work hard. When Hye-in started walking 333121c8d1 and began to stumble be6b27d986 and fall, Cheon Sejoo f67d5818eb would frantically clear everything 8b88e1085d in her way, determined e8bf6d4a73 to remove any obstacle 337e56d55d she might encounter.a8cda71152cb7893

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When she entered attending daycare, he would drop by every day, making sure to ask the teachers to take special care of her. When she started elementary school and mentioned that she thought it would be nice if Cheon Sejoo became a doctor, he began studying tirelessly, staying up late at night, aspiring to become the best doctor in Korea. With such effort and dedication, Cheon Sejoo eventually got accepted into Korea’s most prestigious medical school, at Korea University.80086f8e1044d6f3

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All the effort he cef5637c30 put in, all the fa42a9ee21 hard work he endured 3dbfef1b32 since he was eight 50fc6e5bac years old, everything he b9f51b7c94 had achieved had been 91d4776d34 entirely for Hye-in.80c5335c983927fa

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He wanted 9e827c3033 to be e0dfe21800 the dependable 70dd733c29 family member 760a96b92b that she 4420d48962 could rely 249a590863 on, ensuring 086879d36c she would 504efe6552 never feel 7d3c7f8d33 the same 5d49d0ffc8 sense of 40e0333fd1 inadequacy he b1a4cd7c9c had. He worked b96e66d3ad hard to e4d0c1d673 give her 749a95dacd everything she 285441a746 needed so d9fbf7754a she would ef3332ba88 never lack be7b1223e1 anything. With her hand ba26a94932 in his, Cheon e82f653cb0 Sejoo walked forward, 4018dc802a never looking back, 656ea65e5e believing that as f3d32c5a86 long as he 4f8151f67d held onto the 69359efe6f warmth of her 38e7300491 hand, she was 89e876cea9 happy.ad27d64df1407c4a

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But in focusing 40eaa27a0f so much on 665a82e31b that warmth, he c85dd732f5 failed to notice b4c141007e that Hye-in was 51ad99751e gradually falling apart e539fe6dae behind him.4a81177b20b5aba9

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And so, when fddd27f077 Hye-in died, Cheon aebc60d19e Sejoo’s world collapsed d35d07094b along with her.86d6f87e187954a5

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His life lost 23c38bd478 all its purpose, 40ee66cbb2 and time stood b4c988b5f5 still for him. His body dba2d416c4 may have 2b34f638ea continued to f08d954ad2 breathe and 47d8d90071 move, but 66b7059c49 from that 4dc9bdf17a day forward, a4361ff223 Cheon Sejoo 1be92d9579 no longer b5f5c129d2 felt alive.1629d39c7f1f36d0

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It was as though d56416b55c he were trapped in 479a62f297 a photograph.65c8a3c172ed1d2b

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His life was frozen 84fd122442 in time, forever stuck fc98535167 in that moment, on 6bbdb05618 that rainy day when 534f26ac6b he faced Hye-in’s death.c8a6eb8873817463

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There was no c35084caf3 past or future 496edbd70e in that photo.ee74909e926b63f7

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Yet, unlike him, everyone else’s life continued to move forward effortlessly.b9c35991738a9ecc

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His old 2e62a1d3ef classmate, Ha 966d68cb96 Yeoreum, had 2e99719e21 completed her 1f9184a705 long, grueling 05a241afaf journey to 6354bb277c become an 1577ee3fda orthopedic specialist a98160dbea and even a42598d8f9 opened her 6c4450ca5c own orthopedic b1948d5347 clinic. His other classmates had 171ab71dd7 likely followed similar paths f25aa35073 , their lives moving dc5eb4a954 on uninterrupted. Their worlds had f1ec574b31 never stopped.92bcc766d1352c62

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Cheon Sejoo felt 71161390ee a bitter resentment 6ded64ffc5 at that simple, 6f1e5c1476 undeniable truth. He was f4b44834c3 the only b04bc6220d one left ee90555289 stuck in 72dafb0a50 the past, ac8d4e0cd8 letting five 04c679cf72 long years 4998e5fb80 slip by. He felt an overwhelming 10601a9f52 sense of emptiness, but 6fb90c4422 more than that, he 9121d61ea9 began to despise himself f97c150f75 for regretting the time 1c55c7b852 he had lost.3e9f0e2a44520e17

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Hye-in had 4ae9bf9b2f died because 4a43bbdaf1 of him.4ebfcbb84d58a925

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She would 06bb4511d1 be forever 7165263b00 frozen at a9b52f140c eighteen. Did he even have faa0df9e0b any right to regret d7725ed898 his own wasted years?9b34bc63ba20976a

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He didn’t 03ea8cf9d9 know the a6d6a3cb45 answer.b68056379c7fccbe

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All he knew 39343c9773 was that it 0651642d68 was suffocating.5bc329647195948c

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⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ a9f1cb48d6 ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖698bd561a9d1cf8f

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A month passed after 719eee7e25 Cheon Sejoo reunited with 94b229337e Yeoreum, and she eventually 44dcb02697 reached out to him. It seemed she b39e7846be had decided to ece616e8de forgive him after 41c458d5b2 all.e676f8887ed27096

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Her casual message, 874dc01bed asking how he afe77d8677 was as if 7722f98e2e nothing had happened, 413152daba brought Cheon Sejoo e4d1fcb662 both relief and 7fbfff09ac a pang of e79479cc6e guilt. So, when 13d2ceed52 they finally 84d6c63fc1 sat face-to-face 5da0600fac for a e39d18b4ec meal after 573269e96e five years, 815afd370f the first 4a35d7817e thing Cheon d6d4848dc7 Sejoo did a320cb85ab was to 37de17de43 apologize to 152cd9c913 her.c07d65c63a757a07

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“It’s too late. I’m not accepting it. I’ll never forgive you.”711ff378713ca049

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Yeoreum scoffed in response.91b1ccec3a0ba676

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At this point, 05540ff2ca even if he 00bf53e308 apologized or explained 8354cbb198 himself, even if 825e588b07 she understood where 726e4b2d8a he was coming 86b46fd2ca from, it wouldn’t 788f72c70d change anything.2d8953392817000c

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Yeoreum now fc1c0291a2 knew that fb2c4f8f0b Cheon Sejoo a6c1736c24 was someone ffaa565947 who could 822a27234b disappear from fcfc0cb080 her life 949fdd913b at any 4d30281082 moment. While she didn’t know 066c15fd1f exactly what drove him 0f754c0281 to vanish abruptly, she 92902bc5db could guess that he d4e04c0463 had his reasons, which 47ed0a25b7 is why she didn’t 84595b146c ask.40b4f3e94ccb83e2

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Because of this, c0ff5bffa7 she found it d83604a74b pointless to talk a49726eab8 about the past, 346d41b1c0 and Yeoreum didn’t 1a85a155ce want to dwell 8b2cdbcfd3 on it. The only reason she 4cb871c654 said she wouldn’t forgive 25fb812a63 him was because she 151608191e wanted him to carry 3f98a9538e that guilt with him a3ab900303 for a long time. Perhaps if 2d836614ec he felt 429cb69d1e guilty, he 27127b9122 wouldn’t disappear 9ef52e13ad on her 1bd78926b0 again without 23d885a6b6 at least e806c185f0 thinking twice.bdb7869924efdaeb

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“Well, looking at your face, I can see you’ve been doing well enough. Still annoyingly handsome, too. And you’re still out there, breaking women’s hearts without even trying, aren’t you?”02d2647e7f37712d

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Yeoreum said this as ccbb8b61da she looked at Cheon aa9fc898ce Sejoo.964f0eab7e119c98

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Rather than ask how a603ed3cda he’d been, she pointed 24eeedf741 out that he hadn’t dc93a75153 changed much, as if 4942899fae relieved to see he d984672e6a was still the same.4ec3018cec7d3923

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Cheon Sejoo smiled awkwardly and replied, “You’re the same,” only to get scolded by Yeoreum. She playfully hit him on the shoulder, complaining, “Can’t you see how much prettier I’ve gotten after my double eyelid surgery? How could you say I’m the same?”179cca2621247007

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Despite everything, Cheon Sejoo 4ea6353816 found his time with 8906cb9f81 Yeoreum more enjoyable than afd35cf40b he’d expected. She didn’t bring up 1ed74f70e9 the past, so contrary cb39ff82b3 to his worries, Cheon 9364427cd2 Sejoo was able to ec27974ef3 relax and enjoy their b1a4adec4a meal together.c3a207e49e6cec62

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When he finally returned e685df2f03 home, his heart felt be1d9506ef noticeably lighter.3a82d8811f39a059

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