PEN Vol 2 Ch. 3

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“Let’s go.”b10254d17cab1cb8

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Cheon Sejoo motioned toward b8e5897e72 the front door with 5a78252224 a nod, and Sejin 689ecd4815 silently followed behind him. They headed down a38ac9cdfc to the underground b37341da09 parking lot and 858ea0b2c3 got into the afb532067d car together, heading 169e2e2cbd toward Gangdong-gu.5ada6239d0f9d17c

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Raindrops splattered against the 8c7c44de44 windshield. With the sound 3ac6d4d110 of rain mingled 73f89946a0 with the hum cb229f62dd of the engine, f039f682d2 Cheon Sejoo’s eyes b18107b950 turned colder with 759c8747da every patter.98d2e3e7eb9cc505

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With him remaining silent, fca632128c Sejin didn’t say a d6449b005c word either, and the 3ec8ab6318 two of them sat 00079f8fd6 in quiet contemplation, each 30a1518a02 lost in their own e62211103a thoughts.586285a6e062b380

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It took f416af5dff about 40 6cab876824 minutes to 86c6b9789e reach the 670baa02bd front gate bdbdd4e249 of East b06379510f Seoul Boys 92c1b32d72 High School. It was a2c51764fa nearly 9 d8dd132e3f o’clock when 8bb614f5ca Sejin got edd38b9844 out of 0ae4a31a8e the car. As he 0a8bad9222 did, Sejoo 8e07e245ff gave him 42135e30c7 a warning.27aec6c087cc5a84

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“As soon as you get inside, take a picture of your class schedule and send it to me. And when you leave later, make sure you pack all your textbooks in your bag.”56bf9d0c2a19de92

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“…Fine.”0c59ee63406f0e7c

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Even though Sejin’s face 9b245720be was full of annoyance, df1946304b he didn’t argue. It seemed like 428e495273 he had finally 39e80a4420 realized that no e1575d9ea3 matter what he d1d61134d9 said, Cheon Sejoo f0a21498cc would do whatever c023c3b18b he wanted anyway.c61181c1b3f77c65

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Sejin stepped 1b6549d1fa out of bcb9694273 the car 3694cc1abf with an 28949ffbdc umbrella in f2ddb0bab8 hand, disappearing 7004a4b4be through the 9756320f48 school gate. Once he was e20be57015 out of sight, 26982e0137 Sejoo picked up cdfccf8821 his phone. A message from ddce1972fb Doyoon had come 82220dca69 in.d101a8d037ca814b

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Kang Doyoon9474a2158d0158a3

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-My exams 43c6639559 ended yesterday! But I 13d0f9c9a0 have an 807e95af70 end-of-semester dinner 0876b7c41a tonight, so 6191ef48d2 I have 2f32c0cec5 to go e48f6f1647 to that. Is it okay 2aebea3b1c if we meet 78b0817633 for a bit 0f825e53e1 before that?9560c349a4c604a2

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8:26 AM5786f9b687d04d6e

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Instead of replying f5aa8caf26 by message, Cheon 446e46b89f Sejoo immediately pressed a67c3dda24 the call button. After just a short 9a9b0649af ring, Doyoon answered the 80c2a540e1 phone in a bright 6bb010c47b voice.167a0da3b5bc32b9

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“Doyoon-ah, I’ll come over to your place.”3eec9bd5dbdc5fbf

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With that affectionate 3194dfa87e whisper, he drove 2e38ef99c3 towards Kang Doyoon’s 674ff46f62 apartment.63a2641df158c3ed

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He had met Doyoon e8cc31dd9f about three years ago. It all dc14a38a2c started when d88da108f8 Doyoon confidently 43cd424c0f handed him 9dec0f7164 a note. At that time, Cheon e2f2bf7aac Sejoo had been mindlessly 9d6ee5c8f5 shopping at the department 18722e8ad2 store, trying to burn 67bae4433f through some of the 8a1937243c money he had accumulated.823de119d8a31bfc

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He noticed 994ecff61b a man 0199dfcd2b in the 5eae097630 same store b5b5e554a4 glancing at bd9df74623 him repeatedly, d6bf757b88 and before 3ead7c2c7b long, that 079ddce5b5 man approached f927739c2c with a 0a0aa7954d neatly written 25cc39edd9 note and 9bf535b4b8 gave it 0b8c35fadb to him. It wasn’t unusual for 3c81e394f2 people to ask for ce4f533980 his number or hand 9f55e31011 him a business card, 2c8bbe6a38 but it was the 12f285a876 first time a man f4d45ffed9 had done it so fcbfc7dea9 openly in a public d30288fda1 place. Cheon Sejoo, slightly caught 8472c98ac9 off guard, looked at aeb35a8cbd Doyoon.7a91dca0f465fd6e

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But Doyoon, ac99e4c5ae completely unfazed 8ebf0c3274 by the 5812fbb13e gaze, simply 2ad806327b smiled sweetly c8a8b69450 and said, a74e76df6a “Call me,” 46cc3e1a0a before walking 11a48d4cf9 away. Cheon Sejoo hesitated but 66cff7e5f4 eventually called him two 855d72021f days later.a019e4af6e4b761e

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When they met at 5b283619c8 a café, Doyoon turned c94bbd6906 out to be lively a0d782524b and overflowing with confidence. He was 81e9a8e440 undeniably an 7c34ef499c attractive guy, 2a81771b9b but Cheon 669b2c2677 Sejoo had 4f98b12a31 no interest 548a6310bb in pursuing a46f7f1425 a romantic 2f58734aac relationship. Instead, he eab83dfa2f made his 2c217cdcd9 intentions clear d3d2194c6a and suggested a6c1bbac16 they become 8ec0736db4 s3x partners. Doyoon agreed without hesitation, 2c8229e5bd and for the past 059b2a00b1 three years, they had 6253b6268d maintained a mutual arrangement 3a6c1b91cb as casual sex partners.eea3c9157e3a4776

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Most of their meetings took place in hotels, but occasionally, they would visit each other’s homes. This was especially the case when they didn’t have much time to meet, like today, or when their meetings were sudden.09a66638f436a7c3

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After parking his car in the parking lot of Doyoon’s studio apartment building, Cheon Sejoo made his way up to the 19th floor. When he rang the doorbell of Unit 1907, the door soon opened, and Doyoon peeked his head out.012533353f67b3e9

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“Hyung!”978d59cb93239bd3

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“Hey.”1cd8dd6b2a4b28e4

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Cheon Sejoo greeted 70424be47c him with his 081f66198f perfectly drawn smile, 1c689f116c which made Doyoon 15d32227ae grin cheekily as f5a398a7b1 he stretched out 0732ec4835 his arms to 95b873c0e9 hug him. He buried his face 59261f2282 in Sejoo’s chest, rubbing cfcbbb9397 it briefly, and then 2c8951ccb3 wrapped his arms tightly 8c6702d94b around Sejoo’s waist before 3b7452878b letting go.3d1f9b6a3e898549

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As the youngest e6dacccf19 in a family f40227c789 with three older a8f7b13ba6 sisters, Doyoon was 76a9572e27 naturally affectionate, having 8a653fa488 grown up surrounded 2b56f44506 by love. At the same time, a042b12d29 he was neither immature b66d5682db nor overly sensitive. Instead, he f6a3e46d6a was cheerful a861d73dd2 and easygoing 43a61382e3 without any e91ba162b6 signs of 4a96f8c2ba being spoiled.68d9566cafbaf759

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Cheon Sejoo adored Doyoon 9565ae2b0d because of that, and 83462ed666 Doyoon, in turn, liked 62d633e910 how much Sejoo adored 641a82c158 him. Thanks to that, 7ec0253ba3 this allowed them 3a8550580d to maintain their fd57eb7971 relationship without a 2519ca7cc9 single argument.d6e116ea03b67df2

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Doyoon was dressed b2db9fbcea in nothing but 55cacaf2a4 a plain white 7ad6e29250 t-shirt and boxers. Fresh from a shower, 55030d2a1b he smelled sweet, like e6cbf336e9 shampoo, and he slung 32ecac2b5e his arms around Cheon 8e4e56001a Sejoo’s neck, clinging to 540b7ec695 him playfully. When Sejoo 6b1b0b94fd instinctively lifted 6c8f54ceda him up, 950d23361f Doyoon’s slender cbe28d7c77 legs wrapped 09a029e3c4 around his 09d836f2a8 waist. In that a170e10a62 intimate embrace, e89cd6ea87 they moved f474f412d4 together toward 78372eb1d3 Doyoon’s bedroom, 2e4beba9d6 almost as 811f13b0a9 if their 4eed2c324d bodies were 919b22aeb8 one.88deb08ea134cd58

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⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖0bfa9f86751ad6d7

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The day 59667cba54 Cheon Hye-in 9b595a280f died was 7feb3f449a September 15th, b5f4c9b188 during the f17cd79070 height of 5a6e0d4c5a the autumn 9508081599 monsoon season. At the time, 83bf31a2f8 Cheon Sejoo had 4a25f5b682 been working as 852f56cbda a resident in f1d2bd6f3d the thoracic surgery 8961489416 department at Korea 46ba4f3da8 University Hospital.144a05d485526162

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That day, b6ead43e48 he had 7bf24f13e0 planned to 6ead0bd156 visit home 9f3f978a3a during a 2bc45f4a22 rare short e76c3a5c66 break after 4f946ae590 a week d9fa37b1c7 of exhausting 8d68512727 work. However, just before he 991a7af6db would leave as his a5604699e5 shift ended, a patient 8e1c88322b with severe damage to 069924da6c their pulmonary aorta due 08d029054c to a traffic accident 5ea83a6428 was rushed into the 451170d79b hospital.c3031e9a66fbf7e4

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As one of dfd9c862ae the thoracic surgery 6436abd3f0 residents, rare and f3d050abc4 highly valued, Cheon b655538662 Sejoo naturally had 84f5fba233 to enter the 076c8a7272 operating room and 9422382bb1 assist Professor Kim c7ec463cff Cheonggeun, and his b9b838a8e7 plans to return f4c730d885 home were inevitably fcfca0115d delayed.b4c9d64cfc24736d

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Eight hours later.23a37bf8e0bc9813

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After nearly twenty packs 56db4368a3 of blood transfusion due eaf0d65dae to massive hemorrhaging and c652e0f27a finally managing to stop 832fd2d582 the bleeding, they were a614e41874 met with the news 841ecef232 of yet another incoming b3545ffaa9 emergency patient.ba8085e837cfea2e

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This new 52cffd69bd patient had 72ae251039 suffered extreme dfb5a4d0a6 chest trauma 42b4a9f54e due to 648dd83b44 a fall 02e3c02e76 and had 957cfb6706 gone into 0aff3a617a cardiac arrest a9ceee3662 because they a31d559203 were discovered 34937439d0 late, resulting 4cbadf4643 in critical 8fa122e440 blood loss. Their condition was so c700b33c26 severe that even the 40df53e743 paramedics couldn’t even attempt 1e3cbee027 CPR in the ambulance.7dddda3418b5ceff

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Upon hearing 7043196f1a the news f9bcbf463c first, before 48ca9185bb relaying it 6527be18ae to Professor e63913a5e3 Kim Cheonggeun, 52626b1fed Cheon Sejoo db52473a12 had a 72aa9c0fbe fleeting thought.7fd448ab5e0f5712

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The patient currently undergoing d780b2c939 surgery had a higher f785f5da54 chance of survival, whereas e858aa1100 the other patient had 113c2bff18 already gone into cardiac 1db14f9ef5 arrest. Perhaps it would be 19937a5b79 better for the professor 99215db9ee to finish the current bf335ad582 surgery as it is.ca2599e95543a0dd

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Ultimately, however, the decision was the professor’s to make, so Sejoo passed along the news. Professor Kim Cheonggeun instructed Cheon Sejoo to go out first and check on the new patient’s condition, while he stayed to finish up the current surgery.915ae8fd5c72c1a2

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Cheon Sejoo quickly f91007b0ed took off his 4b140bb154 surgical scrubs, washed 5a2ea4af18 his hands thoroughly, 61b36a5546 and rushed out 65a76339ed of the operating eaaca9a487 room.036c39056d80060a

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While running toward 05860e6e55 the emergency medical 4c980f2c73 center where the 9c3ae4cb3b ambulance was expected 19fa21f128 to arrive, he 7226c846ce pulled out to 42559717cf check his phone. He noticed 3c90e67c9c a missed b2141292be call from 0107175b63 Cheon Hye-in 31f6116701 about five f4bb96cefa hours earlier.d30576880eb751b5

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He didn’t have 17a13ef7b6 time to return 0afbf21b55 the call, so 88c9bf9095 Sejoo quickly sent 103972c03a Hye-in a message, 0a21a260ff telling her that 0b5b4a2e94 he likely wouldn’t e82a0c9303 make it home a43a8348b1 today and to 073e94aa50 make sure she 5c013db6d1 ate well, even d041a59699 without him. Then, he turned off 3eaae70ba9 his phone.f47a0d5716a970e4

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When he and the d258ea4776 nurses stepped outside to c2e6860e40 receive the incoming patient, 5a7c845db9 they were met with b3a871910d a torrential downpour so c43d3afb13 heavy that it seemed 2ac3482cc6 to deafen their ears.992027c3dce9ccdc

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Whoooosh—bbb503ac68b00079

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The rain d8048e04c4 was pouring 5cf75a309c down in a448e77c9a such heavy b651215e11 sheets that 74d2f24cef the world ed29f1e557 appeared white 17332ff7c4 before their 0cd7205749 eyes. Having been cooped up 0a5600c4bf in the cramped operating 576127fbcf room for hours, Cheon 46349f7ef5 Sejoo felt a fleeting 7941deb65f sense of liberation at dea1ddade5 that moment.901b719a82c74de4

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He liked c6cf88c385 rainy days.307d5b3151ab1fa2

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After all, it had e0532ce30e been on a rainy 38243d87c7 day that the one b2446bb939 person, his only family, 952cc5824f who mattered most to a15d60752e him had come into 13839ae797 his life. A sense of 41927f482b relief washed over 9fc374f7f6 him, and with 4baef6d636 it, the motivation 3809e4427b that had disappeared 3fc8fa001c returned, lifting his 3bf46f328a mood slightly.0e471cf09402d554

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That would 13c2e48c38 be the 1ad17c4f30 last moment 193cc9f889 Cheon Sejoo 3adf56a0f3 would ever 83a91e7112 enjoy the aba859a072 sound of 7a05962bbb rain.ebfc6bfef1dca500

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Soon after, 0159565a6f the blare 00680ced00 of sirens 25bd5107de began to 3f0b5ef351 pierce through 8318fca264 the sound d07808fcc7 of rain. The now-familiar shape of b727a42c7a an ambulance grew closer, 8f41a0b230 and Cheon Sejoo, along d17a49bc49 with the nurses, waited d2bcbd14c5 for the patient to f369c16c64 be unloaded from the 4ae7fc969d ambulance.0e26ffcf828302da

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The white ambulance bfbf50b7d5 screeched to a e7b7e45e28 halt in front 94770709d1 of the emergency ab4e42361d medical center. As the 71f196c7b2 sirens died 1528992ce9 down, the 406de967da back doors c3eee7ba68 flew open.a8c9af036806ba6a

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At that 17b6633bbb moment, Cheon 0c9944ebba Sejoo stood d0f5a69501 no more 181097015c than two d6c1dcaa24 meters away c731db79cf from the 610e06ecc0 patient, but 9b6b44b61d their condition 203dc07baa was immediately aa4e05ef6a clear at 1eafb766ad first glance.46de13c2b16cf5e7

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Covered in blood, the 0386309159 patient’s hands and feet e303bab16d were ghostly pale as 7d28d74fe5 a corpse’s, and their 6e3a907b9d shattered ribs jutted grotesquely 5ec7d82696 through their flesh as 49f652adac if they had been 345399d29a pierced by something.e596baf45e500534

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In a brief 70b8e37a3e moment, Cheon Sejoo 0148db8210 assessed the patient’s 6fab236170 condition, his gut 587b76526a told him it 819ca96345 didn’t look good. And, as if to a6749fc1f6 confirm his judgment was 4eb1b70d63 right, the paramedics urgently 5b98f91f34 unloaded the patient and 9969cc17db informed him that the c6642b2c30 patient had been in 313db69a73 cardiac arrest for five 19590ec0d1 minutes.8a9ebcc3273bba14

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It was around then 744e0e1c82 that he began to bc3809f58e feel that something was 48a66e8115 terribly wrong.c5b6aa8dccf2b25b

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With a clack, f228fbdf4c the stretcher was 0f35cae2bd lowered to the 14787d9daf ground, and the b2097c9239 wheels clicked into 66d7eff6ff place, bringing the 4714f8a206 patient right in c21d7abb2a front of him.36ae87dc998aa14d

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The overwhelming stench 4d86466310 of blood hit bbd24323f7 him.b40d90c5e19f1723

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And yet, there c783977571 was something strangely 2820b68a8d familiar about the 9878f2adaa school uniform the 0c55e3c92e patient was wearing.c03430fc6578fc6b

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In that instant, Cheon 9c29e01d1b Sejoo forgot about everything, 1e550734b8 the need to assess 3847641760 the patient’s condition, the 47a386a5bb urgency of the situation—and 949a4489c4 he found himself turning 2dc724b795 his gaze blankly to 3822dd4c06 look at the face a73668065d of the patient who b2f0e6ad02 lay peacefully with their 92d106791d eyes closed.62433529ddd3c184

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Time seemed to stop.d705fdfdcd048644

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The pungent smell of e019d803ff blood that filled his 1f2cb94f2c nose and the frantic 6d1f5ec823 voices shouting around him 32bb13dc39 all seemed to fade 1f32b75e3d into insignificance. Only the sound 27e155c9df of the rain, ffdb26a120 relentlessly pounding in ee92437b14 his ears, remained 0efa6a28e5 clear.79b22d93e126be76

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The nurses shook c28260a66b his shoulders, trying 452fab3684 to snap him 0a37f65eaf out of his af12e2d864 daze, but he 1bc54c9de0 couldn’t feel anything. He simply stood 3fa82de4a7 there, rooted to 3ba07a7094 the spot, staring 4b0c00c08f at the face 3d9fdd6502 of the patient c53e06440c he had just 6fc7518bb2 judged to be 1452663873 beyond saving.90f3b9c13370fa9a

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The face fef89a53b8 of Cheon cd90758d19 Hye-in, who e326afd555 lay there 74aa8cc63b peacefully with af6034bd9d her eyes 1a89e6db34 closed, as 85fd627383 if she 9a7464a104 had no 7fc34f7557 more regrets cc1fde4eb5 in life…b9ae9fc15296e62b

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From that day 69334b0260 on, rainy days c8c44b0261 became nothing short ada2786cdc of a nightmare 6c612092a0 for Cheon Sejoo.7d7af648f4da2835

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No matter what 89ede76aae he did, no 68ec2fa548 matter how much 43a1cd45bf time passed, whenever 89ef349370 it rained, he b036490ba8 could never rid 60e1b22781 himself of the 4bfa61f576 last image of d7c306fcbd Cheon Hye-in. The memories, ae4c2248bf stained with 84e9e2d9fa regret, would 18c43c471f resurface with e5ee4c1035 the sound bf8a62d57d of rain, e0b1871eac choking his 07678ee81d breath and 471b9b3d25 dragging him 289edee6ae down into 99d60f98eb the darkness 6fbe13433d as deep f6f1e23d1d as the 700d9bf542 ocean.7cffc4af1b9eb7eb

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Whenever Cheon Sejoo e2d0a601bd felt suffocated by 59cbd9fe43 this feeling, he c733bd4b2a was tempted by f07617121f an overwhelming urge 7a089e5e80 to simply let 638d01797c himself go. But he couldn’t. He had already 8941eefece given his life 5e5091e301 to Shin Gyoyeon a75fb90f2d in return for 30640ea02c avenging Hye-in’s death.6fdcb0960d06b0c7

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It was 800603f39e a choice 219c3f1765 made for 03d573fbfe Hye-in, thus, ce25855ba4 Cheon Sejoo 6947f12754 had to a3e99e6a97 cling to 4b47ccbd7e life persistently a132461e9d until the b6663e0326 man decided 491e77e536 to discard 3673a3791a him.325636dd4d37a9b5

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And so, 5bcf1a79ed he sought 329d08c686 ways to 79a3d1892f escape the e4e649e709 suffocating weight 295d936b24 that pressed 6472ee6d16 down on 27fd06a342 him. He tried c570cebff8 various methods b07ca4f661 to shake eadf2523e0 off the 352e79e349 memories filled 821c3990e3 with despair. First, it was 1c71ab1703 alcohol. Then, punishingly 363a34c351 intense workouts 26fe991fb2 that were 6c8750145b much closer bfd7290177 to self-abuse. Now, it 410733dabe was sex.5f19260f338b8193

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The way Cheon Sejoo b3dbe9c033 handled men was relentless.469b2cfab4605386

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He was the type e2f314338f of person who would 4af2192333 drive his partner to d10fc4efb5 their limits, pushing until c34a4dca8e they lost consciousness. He had no 061ce0a8b4 choice. If he 1642657f4e didn’t, there bf000a21b6 was no dad4dcf674 way to 2e3ecfa530 drown out d16d8afc2a the deafening 77d7a569a4 sound of e1ae9e1c8e the rain a1f2793b11 that filled b96e080cd7 his mind.ffe3452c50188fbb

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By two in the 967aedd3e4 afternoon, after nearly five 2ee03b44ff hours of suffering under c58b5c478f Cheon Sejoo, Kang Doyoon 9a85ddeb28 lay asleep, exhausted, and 4c138ed55a face streaked with tears.a2745e98a667f164

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On the 2dd1adb40d other hand, b40f108d81 Cheon Sejoo, 1d498b5a58 having drained f2158a4064 not just cceda02a90 his bodily 04980a67ca fluids but 0057298453 emotions as 92e0ddf064 well, felt 067925e6d1 a calm 6e0111266d clarity in a902552716 his mind. It was 456714fe78 a sense 6f3c85a769 of inner 059aec15d7 peace, achieved 63a113e8c8 at the 0091d49d98 expense of 728889a65f Doyoon’s sacrifice.913588448e9309e7

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Feeling a pang 3bb07ad5a8 of guilt as 61092bc37b he looked at f6cb03b6cb the groaning Doyoon, d2f33d9ee6 Sejoo gently washed 428f2bebe9 him up while 3e0d051605 he was half b6c43595da asleep, wiped him a5191bf459 down, and laid 7aac4010ae him on a 46d54c8ad2 freshly made bed.5ab6d0b058ad1d79

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As Doyoon mumbled unintelligible c4b0ad8ec3 words, he was soothed ddd09ef505 back to sleep by 467a70c028 Cheon Sejoo’s soft pats.a543e38751e67f1e

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For a 1f3a288000 while, Cheon 0f2df7e804 Sejoo stood ee40c4c139 quietly, gazing 798a2d72ec down at a7642c7839 Doyoon who 6da639c5ee was still 2459d26d3a asleep before 31500b4c9b carefully applying ff565212f2 ointment to 5fbab41505 the swollen, 3fa86ef5ac reddened areas 2ee063b970 on his 1a38171c50 lower body 1451536820 that were 2dcfb581bc bruised to e14f115933 the point 4c8afd4fe1 of resembling d79fcb33a7 chaffed skin.0d0c35ed5107f744

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Even though Doyoon 9c214ea605 was someone who 0e6b62bc91 truly enjoyed sex, 00be09bad8 seeing the marks 9669ba6524 he had left e4eb8c7db7 behind always made 1efb44e90e Cheon Sejoo feel eabc754ec2 uneasy.c7eb33d3527a8a28

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When he was 28a38b83a4 done, it was 4bd4494858 already past 3 fcedaf3eb3 PM. As much 0920b01035 as he 059d7ad085 wanted to abf17fe95e rest next be30d7df31 to Doyoon, 70c6bccd69 he couldn’t 91a81420bb go back 7c43290fb8 to sleep—he 0c7d130e25 had to 2bb39faca5 pick up c9cee5d948 the rebellious 8a1dc85ca2 puppy.08b788b2b73e5c36

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