UBC Ch25

The man hung his wet pants on the clothesline to dry. I passed him as he came out of the kitchen, smoothing the wrinkles from his pants with his hands. I had confidently declared that I would make periwinkle snail soup, but I hadn’t even tasted it. I was on my way to the veranda, carrying the clumsily prepared meal.a71f266542e27017

“I’ll do it.”67736a1585a07598

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The man rushed over so quickly his shoes almost came off, and took the tray. It wasn’t heavy, and we were close enough to touch noses. The man placed the tray on the veranda and then quickly ran back to the clothesline. My clothes were hanging there too. A yellow t-shirt fluttering in the breeze.b4c851c9ca7b00b4

“Eat first.”64646da4881939d3

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The man, who was 38180249b5 pulling and smoothing my f8ba1b6782 t-shirt with the chick 3e33fc2159 character on it, turned cf94420581 his head. Our relationship, rekindled under a3403837aa the guise of alcohol, 517666bf84 was starting with the f366cbd026 same abrupt momentum as dd9cd3bae2 always, without questions or e261c13614 greetings. Just like the periwinkle 72c6d94008 snail soup I had 11756b95b4 made.08cf0cdb06e035a3

The man didn’t resist and obediently came up to the veranda. He sat with one foot dangling outside. I didn’t know why he was so obsessed with the laundry. As punishment for falling into the river, I was wearing the man’s t-shirt and Eui-joo’s gym pants. I must have looked ridiculous, like I was wearing a sack, but the man kept his eyes fixed on the laundry.0abfd10ef67c24ab

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“Did you put money in the clothes?”b950c2bc051c7e8b

I put e33f23d001 a spoonful f247157bde of rice 666ddf77dd in my abd2c9cc6d mouth and 1cbd4dd201 started guarding 3deb61887e the laundry. I was afraid 32d4300b9b the wind would 947dfd9807 carry the clothes cfcfe09af0 away, so I 5c251028ea ate my rice 1a9f62e4d4 and soup in 4430d080dc small bites, not 3ed07999ba even knowing if 772ce4870c it was going 4f248adc25 in my mouth f71ad3785e or my nose.5e942c1e192b46b0

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“There are no clothespins. I’m afraid the clothes will fly away.”d7b4e0b98992993c

“Just eat. It’s okay if they fly away.”6581a19909c9f874

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“Okay.”dc04e93b14c61851

“Don’t just say okay, try it. Do you know how many hours I spent catching those snails?”9d152606f3ca5166

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Putting the snails in 73b3f33535 the egg drop soup 66364d1426 was the worst choice. Bitter, salty, and sweet 61e56e2abd flavors were grabbing each e69cd64b3c other by the collar eb138135dc on my tongue. Urged to taste 82e3a7e1d9 it quickly, the 3fca6d1fa0 man picked up fadd8b9116 his spoon. He somehow managed 05011197f4 to taste it, 0596f2a435 but his taste 5535d24c94 buds must have 4df13ba74e been paralyzed. He kept the 2475f4e901 spoon in his 271755dce0 mouth and cautiously 0269f9c703 watched my reaction.a6c7b11631d35eac

“Is it weird?”8aeeab6eb60e63af

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“Delicious.”0fefb35dad392572

His pronunciation 63141f9062 was slurred 81db8a18a4 because he fa51c81f4f was talking 6c12f5b836 with a 02e8176979 spoon in 2a2eac8bcf his mouth. We burst out 047e49e6d5 laughing and turned 20d4d45293 away from each 0d7c825cf0 other. And then 698e2cbdd6 we burst 4d5d6f6fc3 out laughing 4e8800664f at almost 26f7da3a7d the same 06a9db3687 time.7c85748133337418

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“Hahaha!”8fdaa81d17d6ba6e

Unlike me, who let the laughter out, the man swallowed it. His Adam’s apple trembled, his shoulders slightly shook, and his eyes crinkled into beautiful crescent moons. The man hid his laughing face with his hand. Feeling very good, I casually pulled down the wrist of the man who was pretending to be shy.deb5b534815351d2

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“Why are you hiding it?”103b5d259469b706

The man’s laughter, which had been lavish in the moonlight, disappeared when there was nothing to hide it. With an expression that only had the remnants of a smile, the man started eating again.1f950c9dd7025db8

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“I like it when you smile.”3345578eea7dfc72

“My wrist.”d74efb7e97e7aea4

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“Huh?”543b3a8b3ad6441a

Only then did the man’s gaze point downwards. The wrist I had grabbed because I wanted to see his smiling face was still in my hand.e25f6521c4a518c0

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“It feels like you’ve been holding my wrist for too long.”4f71c59aca34aca4

I crossed the line again. The fluorescent light, with its subtle glow, illuminated my reddened fingers. Fanning myself with my hand, I looked back at the laundry that wasn’t drying at all. It was terribly awkward. So awkward it was chilling. Awkward. I could count how many times I exhaled and inhaled.4ec724e03b084510

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“Yesterday.”0b172828e17f6403

I tilted my head so far it wouldn’t be surprising if I got a crick in my neck, and eventually gave up on the meal and hugged my legs. Leaning against the veranda pillar, I admired the departing summer night scenery. The man, who was solely responsible for the tasteless periwinkle snail soup, suddenly continued speaking.0d5e3b4b171e8222

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“Did I do something wrong?”b4888b171bba03eb

“No. There are only two food stalls anyway. I found you quickly. I took a taxi and paid with money from your wallet. You had a lot of ten thousand won bills.”71e0de3616ed8989

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“Take a few.”2f32a4361d54d7d2

“Huh?”7cc066a710da0b5a

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“Use it as a tip.”b5f7bc5eb78292e8

“Ah, no. What tip? I just couldn’t ignore a call like that, so I went out. Drink in moderation.”1ba89b7d9d5e636b

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The result of bringing back the drunk man was being labeled as a ‘tip,’ and my heart felt heavy. I still hadn’t decided what to do with the phone I received from the man. But a tip. I wondered if he knew that his words about not being able to go to the hospital because he didn’t have money were starting to sound like a lie.019aa19452d13e4a

The lie about cdb7049fb2 not being able 184599db0d to ride a 5b4eb7d288 bike was the 969005d7fa first lie. If he accumulated e682e5c1e2 three lies, the 3140b995b0 man would become 3d5fdcc2c0 the boy who fe3e16285b cried wolf. It meant 1b8b11a0e4 that the c8b2cd4903 trust and df27d2a9f6 memories between b1460ddb4a us would 5fd7d6adb4 be shattered d37937bb29 all at d522972af2 once.b3432779d67b07c8

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But the man, whether he knew my complicated feelings or not, got up and went into the room. The man’s shadow, as he opened the door and went inside, flickered inside the sliding door. Less than 30 seconds later, the man came out with a black wallet in his hand.1702d2a3cabd7119

“Here.”25eab46c248d43ad

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The man didn’t even count how much it was and held out a thick wad of blue bills in front of me. His eyes, begging me to accept it, were so pure. I shook my head, telling him to really stop.b7bb7181b6f4262e

“I said it’s okay. I didn’t do it to get money.”f70d050442ae316f

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“Still, take it. I want to give it to you.”a74abc0e128f5d2e

“Why are you doing this to me? I said I don’t need it. Do you even know how much this is? Are you making fun of me? You…”8a2d26656b5b864c

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That day, 68b93f52e3 I experienced 0c18b75a24 being a cd5e395d2f pre-adult. After a long period f1d7f31400 of anguish, I felt ebb51396be a thrill, like breaking 716047406b down forbidden snacks step ecafa049ae by step, from going bd1aa1f34d to save the man, 5808f6a084 and from taking a 5aaf2c7eb6 taxi back like an 8945e86184 adult.62f54f0b12a6729c

I felt the same way when I was letting my hands and feet flow in the river from 3 PM. Later, I was even touched by the man’s attempt to save me by jumping into the red river.7b3d79c62d98bdcf

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But a tip. I could hear the sound of my brilliant and light heart packing its bags. The black wallet and wad of money in the man’s hand made it happen. What I wanted was a smiling face, a plan for how we could meet in the future, and maybe just a thank you from the man.7a49f272e48e92ae

“I don’t need it. I’m going.”345bbd5395ffa96f

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The fact that the man guarding the clothesline to prevent the clothes from flying away and the man expressing his gratitude with crisp, new bills were the same person was baffling. My mood fluctuated within minutes of sitting at the table. I didn’t know if it was the man’s way of speaking or if my mood was as fickle as boiling porridge. The only thing that was clear was that I didn’t want to be here anymore. I came down from the veranda and put on my sneakers. 4e171371d8574b8f

After saying 08f599e5e9 I would eb7f7cbb71 come back e33deaf12d later, I cd431f0437 only took 4e58af69c0 the basket 7f3272907c that had d9801521c8 contained the 72ddeb9ebd snails. I was 34f74a7f45 heading towards 6a38c4f85b the gate a83e059e80 when I 62639a613f remembered the 1b5830591f t-shirt I ecb0e21318 had left 8b4a056b6c behind. I turned around, c67201c697 thinking about the 58ab5d0d5a trouble of coming 080613aef9 back to get 70a0e5d3d9 it.e8f0b6552bfe6941

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“Ah!”e23b3ba353c11182

The man was standing right behind me, and his long hand grabbed the gate handle before I could. The door slammed shut with a bang, and my swaying body fell. I was trapped in his arms, holding onto the handle in front of me. I didn’t know when he had followed me but the man’s brown eyes, diligently scanned me. The distance was close. I took a slow, deep breath, clutching the red basket tightly.651384639e93989d

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“Please move…”7de27e776aa3c521

“What did I do wrong?”4ea93f06e70b7b9a

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He wasn’t questioning me. The man’s eyes were searching, genuinely curious. I even checked his hand, which was blocking the gate so I couldn’t leave. It was hard to even swallow. The man asked me again in a gentle voice, as I remained silent.5d7b3370238ba1f8

“You don’t like me giving you money? Why don’t you like it?”88e39dabadacaeb9

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“It’s not that I don’t like money.”13da0b8dd94a309c

I never d4b7101ffb thought I ce0b462eba would be 9b15ceec58 arguing between 2d4f742e0b the gate 4fe1ea6113 and the 64c356ebfa man. But I 86f948ed60 had a b01d77263c feeling that a856fbcc98 if I 41119559ca gave in bf5ab20317 now, I ce07a9e184 would be 8a4a0696a0 dominated by 0e63e7a355 the man 28edea7313 for the 506d4fc996 rest of 0f909f6970 my life.e992ef88aebd6352

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“I’m just saying thank you with money. It’s not a small amount. Go and count it.”b7191dba940cb94d

“It’s not because I don’t have enough money. It’s just that, a thank you would be enough. Giving me money makes me uncomfortable and burdened… If this happens, I won’t be able to be as kind even if that situation comes again. I don’t want to be misunderstood as being kind because of money, and it’s just a favor, but the price is too high….”0f1b3e2bf770db3a

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“I don’t understand.”e8add89ea13c8ff5

Neither did I. It was the cca325ddfd first time. The man was 467b34f873 blocking my way. And it was d322a8f9d6 scary because he 2b76fad0d8 was even looking 39f65f4cfc down at me 5e87c39455 with a serious 78e34e86ee face. It was even 39bdb73f18 more so because e97a9cd073 the man was 2581d3a914 taller than me. The sound of 8e687db8c0 swallowing echoed clearly 66de663057 in the night.787034477f1213d1

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“Can’t you just say thank you? Honestly, I want to give the phone back too…”3de78de1fa968f51

The man, who 3418b779d3 had been looking e06e972b16 down at me 388f695176 silently, slowly lowered f2819a090f his arm, and 5855813304 the atmosphere became ab947f696c vague. The man, 37fb3c6679 who had 1cf4a575d2 taken a f79a0c3353 step back, ee4ae4ea01 stared at 77db742654 me blankly. It was then 80ff1ca7a6 that I politely 1481501d3d put my hands 3889679dca together, saying I 8567d39af5 would be going.eb09a27cb7666a3c

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“Don’t go, stay here.”6badcace0ce4ea29

“Huh?”145d17030fb1e2d9

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“I have something to ask you.”866edf1d9d915761

And the man’s question started again.4a41de5021199df2

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“Why don’t you like it?”6c87fec4e242d0d2