CG | Chapter 1.10

In a voice that sounded inexplicably weary, Sean turned around. Lane, still shaken, had taken off his glasses and was running his hand through his hair. The sight of him rubbing his face with his large hand, head slightly bowed, showed his fatigue. This was a first. He must have been really scared.

Feeling guilty, Sean decided to be honest. It was a personal matter he hadn’t wanted to share with Lane, but it seemed his extreme behavior just now was a stress response.

“Honestly, I’ve been feeling off since yesterday.”

Finally, Lane looked at him again. Thanks to his half-swept hair, his deep blue eyes were vividly clear. The weight on Sean’s heart lifted for a moment. Really…

“My parents are getting divorced. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it would worry you.”

Just looking at him makes me feel better.

Sean forgot his earlier worries and smiled foolishly. Strangely, looking at Lane made him feel like everything was okay.

“Their relationship hasn’t been good for a while. Your parents might have hinted at it… Anyway, it seems like we’ll be moving out of the neighborhood after the break. They’re selling the house, and my parents are separating.”

Having said it out loud, he felt much lighter. Many things aren’t as big of a deal once spoken. It was all expected, and since Sean was staying in the dorm anyway, it wasn’t a situation that affected him much.

“…Come here.”

Lane, who had been listening calmly, spoke to him. Gesturing with his eyes, Sean slowly approached, and Lane awkwardly opened his arms.

“I’ll hug you. Forget what I said about not touching earlier.”

“What is this?”

“You did this for me when I wasn’t feeling well.”

Then, as if embarrassed, Lane furrowed his brows and urged him. With his face fully visible, it was easy to read his emotions. Feeling slightly embarrassed by the unexpected kindness, Sean hesitated but didn’t want to refuse, so he cautiously approached him.

Meeting his gaze, which was similar but slightly higher, Sean felt like he might cry. He could read the concern in Lane’s expressionless eyes.

Lane soon wrapped his arms around Sean and hugged him tightly. Silently embraced, Sean stood awkwardly, then gradually relaxed and leaned into him. Perhaps because of the cool and chilly forest temperature, Lane’s embrace felt very warm.

In the silence of a few seconds, the sound of a heartbeat thumped in his ears. The heart, moving quietly in a steady rhythm, soon began to speed up, eventually racing as if in a competition. Following the accelerated circulation, a feeling of warmth spread through his body, and a tingling sensation radiated from the center of his sternum, where his ribs met.

Even as he thought he should pull away, he couldn’t move. His fingers trembled slightly, and he couldn’t figure out what to do. His throat was dry, and he was short of breath, but the tension constricted him, preventing him from taking a deep breath.

Experiencing this strange sensation for the first time in his life, Sean froze. The problem was that Lane wasn’t letting go of the arms holding him tightly, so it felt like they could stand like this for hours. Did he dislike it? No, that wasn’t it. But as it got darker, if they continued like this, something…

Something…

Something strange might happen.

Feeling an unknown instinct urging him, Sean finally regained his composure. Exhaling a breath, he didn’t push Lane away but simply spoke.

“Want to go for a run?”

With his head slightly tilted, resting against Lane’s face, his whispered words slipped into Lane’s ear. As he caught sight of Lane’s white, fuzzy ear, Lane quickly released him and stepped back, running a hand over his face as if to cover it.

“Suddenly want to run?”

His low, deep voice questioned with a hint of disbelief. Sean, also feeling awkward, replied.

“Running relieves stress.”

“…You’ll trip running in the forest.”

“You know I like running while dodging obstacles.”

Lane, who had been covering his face with his hand, finally lowered it. Returning to his usual expressionless self, he nodded after a moment.

“Then let’s go to my house. Instead of looking at animal dung, we can watch a movie you like.”

“You’re holding a grudge, our Lane.”

“You do too.”

“Will you make popcorn?”

“Anything.”

Lane spoke softly.

“I’ll make whatever you want.”

The words, warmer than the sunshine on the beach, comforted Sean’s heart. Somehow, he felt like his eyes might turn red, but he hid it with a laugh and let out a hearty “haha.” Lane followed suit with a light chuckle. The two locked eyes, and without anyone saying a word, they both kicked off the ground and started running towards the edge of the forest.

Lane was surprisingly fast. With legs as long as a deer’s, he deftly avoided thick tree roots and slippery moss, swiftly moving ahead. The sun, which had been hanging in the middle of the sky, began to tilt, casting elongated shadows across the forest.

Sean, following Lane with joyful laughter, soon overtook him. The sound of their bright, childlike laughter mixed together, and when Sean almost slipped on the moss, Lane caught him, bringing their run to an end. The result was a tie. It wasn’t really a race to determine a winner anyway.

In the blink of an eye, the two emerged from the forest, panting and letting out soft laughter. Sean, wiping the clear sweat from his forehead, let out a long, refreshing sigh. As he bent over to catch his breath, something was suddenly thrust in front of him.

Startled, he looked at it and saw a handful of wildflowers. There was a foxglove with small purple trumpets hanging upside down, a small columbine, wallflower, and lupine.

“When did you pick these?”

He hadn’t noticed Lane holding them while they were running. His round green eyes looked up at Lane.

“While chasing after you when you stormed off earlier.”

Never one to let things slide, Sean changed the subject as the morning’s teasing about being sulky came back to him.

“You even got lupines? You stole food from the Karner Blues. That’s not like you.”

“They’ll understand today. I only picked two.”

Lane quietly waved his hand as if to say “take it.” The wildflowers on his white hand adorably swayed. Sean, looking at them as if they were too precious to hold, carefully took the bouquet Lane offered. It was hard to believe that someone who usually disliked humans disrupting nature and rarely collected anything other than specimens had made a bouquet.

“…Thank you.”

For some reason, his voice was hoarse. As he barely managed to speak, Lane’s blue eyes studied him intently.

“Are you okay with flowers?”

“Yeah, of course. Why ask that?”

“Someone said guys don’t like flowers.”

“It’s just because they haven’t received any. They might not be practical, but…”

Sean, cradling the flowers in his hands, smiled more joyfully than when he received an expensive watch and car as a gift for getting into a prestigious university from his parents.

“I like them.”

Not wanting to exaggerate, Sean grinned and waved the bouquet. When he gestured to move on, Lane nodded. After running so hard, the emotions that had been swirling in his head had disappeared.

The tickling sensation from the small wildflower stems in his hand made Sean look at them several times, holding them very carefully. Then he said to Lane, “Should we plant some lupine seeds next week? I feel bad for the butterflies.”

Though it was a bit late in the season, he wanted to do it. Instead of pointing out the late planting season, Lane nodded.

“Think about what you want to watch.”

“Do you still have Netflix?”

“Yeah. My mom wanted to cancel it because she thought it was a waste since she doesn’t watch it much, but I convinced her to keep it because you like it.”

“Even rich people think Netflix is a waste? It’s only 20 dollars a month.”

“They say you have to spend only on what’s necessary to save money.”

Considering Lane’s parents do a lot of volunteer work and donate generously, it made sense. However, Sean liked how they saved on small things, even though they didn’t hesitate to spend astronomical amounts when needed. His parents, on the other hand, spent money on luxury and parties but never on volunteering or donations. They did donate, but it was often for show.

“I’ll pick something awesome.”

“You’ll probably end up watching something like an animation again.”

Sean’s favorite movie is Toy Story. He usually doesn’t watch anything other than Pixar, DreamWorks, or Disney movies, and he plays games like Pokémon or other cute ones.

But that’s just his preference; he’s seen most trending movies or famous ones, so it’s unfair to be misunderstood like that. Today, he’ll definitely pick something good.

“I’ll find something that’s in between our tastes.”

“I’ll pretend to trust you.”

“Just trust me.”

As the lighthearted conversation continued, their laughter grew. Sean felt relieved as the precious weekend, which had seemed to twist, finally returned to its place. Even though he thought he couldn’t help the changing environment around him, deep down, he wished this weekend would remain the same.

Everything in the world changes, but he hoped their relationship would stay the same.

Swallowing an impossible desire quietly, Sean held the bouquet Lane gave him tightly.

.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖

By the time they arrived at Lane’s house, the sun was beginning to set. It was 4 PM, and the twilight brought a serene, quiet atmosphere as the day wound down. The air and the temperature of the breeze, distinctly different from the morning, brought a sense of calm.

“Since we’re watching a movie, let’s have pizza for dinner.”

As they entered through the front door, Sean took off his shoes and mentioned the dinner menu. He was very hungry, having woken up late and not eaten anything yet. He hadn’t finished his dinner the previous night either, so the hunger was unbearable once he became aware of it.

“I didn’t go grocery shopping yesterday, so there’s nothing.”

“Not even frozen pizza?”

“The last one you ate was the end of it.”

Lane’s family rarely ate ready-made meals, so there was usually nothing in the freezer. When there was something, it was bought for Sean, and they generally preferred to cook. Even when they didn’t have time, they would call someone to help.

“Couldn’t go grocery shopping yesterday?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Lane was someone who always stuck to his schedule, so this was unusual. Sean looked at him with curious eyes, and after a moment of silence, Lane spoke.

“I was on the phone with Dion, and it got late, so I skipped it.”

Sean paused at the unexpected reply. It felt like things were back to normal, but the mention of Dion brought back a sense of unease. He slowly nodded, taking out his phone. A vague sense of rejection passed and then disappeared.

“Let’s order delivery. What do you want to eat?”

“Do we have options? We’re going to eat deep-dish pizza, right?”

“That’s true, but I’ll let you choose the brand.”

Lane quickly decided.

“Rona Pizza.”

“I knew it.”

Lane, who didn’t particularly like meat, didn’t have many options. Rona Pizza was the only place in the neighborhood with vegan and vegetarian menus, and it was delicious.

Sean’s favorite was the Big Sausage Jones, loaded with large sausages, pepperoni, bacon, and beef crumble. As a regular, they would make it half-and-half if he wrote the name in the memo section.

“Soda, Seven Up?”

“No, Fresca.”

“Got it.”