SRW | Chapter 08

And so, many things happened… Enduring the endless moments of death, the boy thought to himself. If he were to kill someone, the first would be his uncle.

“…Uncle, you must’ve realized at some point that I wasn’t the ‘real’ murderer.”

“Nonsense!”

“But you couldn’t admit it. If I were innocent… then everything you’ve done would lose its justification.”

As soon as the boy finished speaking, he swung the object he had pressed against the man’s neck downward with force. The man staggered from the shock. The boy kicked the knife out of his hand, sending it clattering to the floor. He then pushed the man down and climbed on top of him.

“Ugh!”

The boy waved the object in front of the man’s face. It wasn’t a blade, as the man had feared. It was but a simple metal ruler he had pulled from his pencil case. The man flailed as he realized he’d been tricked. He tried to grab the knife, but the boy kicked it away before he could reach it.

“So you waited, didn’t you? For me to actually do something…”

“Ugh…!”

“I thought about it. I wanted to kill you, but the idea of doing exactly what you wanted felt too disgusting.”

“Ugh…!”

“But now, becoming the ‘real’ murderer you wanted me to be… doesn’t feel so bad.”

Under the pale light, the boy’s face was calm. There was no guilt, no hesitation. After imagining this moment hundreds, thousands of times, it finally felt sacred.

“Ugh… this… this wretchedness… is your… true nature…!”

The man, his throat constricted, managed to choke out the words. His bloodshot eyes glared at the boy with hatred. From the beginning, the boy hadn’t had many choices. The man had made sure of that. Either you die, or I die. It had to be one of the two. So this is how it ends. As the man sneered at the boy, the boy’s grip tightened slightly. A flicker of emotion stirred within him. But…

“…But you’re wrong, Uncle.”

The boy suddenly burst into laughter. Color began to return to his pale cheeks. The man’s eyes widened in shock at the boy’s reaction, so similar to how ordinary people expressed embarrassment.

“You asked me earlier what I was going to do with him, right?”

“Ugh…!”

“Kidnap him? Rape him? …Kill him?”

“Ugh…!”

“No.”

“……”

“I’m going to love him.”

I’m going to love him. As the boy’s face flushed with excitement, the man’s eyes rolled back. The man passed out. Silence fell. The boy looked down at the unconscious man and remembered the day he first arrived in this neighborhood. In the dark alley leading up to the house, the man had done the same thing to him. Staring at the bruises that didn’t fade for a month, the boy had vowed to do the same once he grew big and strong. Today was the day that childhood dream came true.

The boy stood up and opened the window. The warm summer night air flowed in. Is this what they mean when they say it feels like a toothache finally going away? Born unable to easily define his emotions, he struggled to describe this feeling he was experiencing for the first time. The boy pulled out the crumpled photo from his pocket. In the photo, a male student stood awkwardly beside him, smiling. The boy smiled as he looked at it. The red moonlight, unusually vivid tonight, gently illuminated his cheeks.

*

I spent my last weekend at home and went to school. Since summer break was two days away, I knew something would happen today or tomorrow. I was anxious. I looked for Kim Jaeyoung as soon as I arrived in the classroom. The seat of the guy who usually came earlier than anyone else was empty. Did he oversleep? I tried to hide my unease and sat down, sending him a message. When are you coming? A long time passed, but there was no read receipt. First period started, and Kim Jaeyoung still hadn’t shown up. My body trembled with extreme anxiety, and it became hard to breathe. I took out my phone and called Kim Jaeyoung. After a few rings, the automated voice said, “The person you are calling is unavailable. Please try again later.”

“Huff, huff…”

The students sitting nearby glanced at me, sweating nervously. The guy next to me fidgeted, probably debating whether to tell the teacher. I shook my head at him and slumped onto my desk. First period ended, and Kim Jaeyoung still hadn’t arrived. I called again, but the same automated message played. Second period began. My vision blurred. At this point, it wouldn’t be strange if I passed out.

Then, the back door opened Someone entered the classroom. “Sorry I’m late.” A familiar voice echoed softly in the quiet room. I tried to sit up but collapsed to the floor. As I struggled to get up, gasping for air, Kim Jaeyoung walked over slowly.

“Eunsoo. Are you okay?”

“…Huff, huff, can’t you tell?”

“Teacher, I’ll take Eunsoo to the infirmary and come back.”

Even as Kim Jaeyoung carried me on his back, I muttered that I needed to grab my bag. The bag was stuffed with even more items over the weekend, so it was heavier than before. Kim Jaeyoung stopped several times on the short walk to the infirmary. It was a little funny how he never complained about the weight, even though it felt like he was carrying two people.

The infirmary was empty. The lights were off, but the sunlight streaming through the window made it bright enough. Kim Jaeyoung laid me down on the bed. “The teacher’s usually not here at this time. It’s my skipping hour.” I grinned as I said this, feeling better just having Kim Jaeyoung nearby. He nodded.

…Wait, what’s that wound on his face? His cheek looks swollen too. There’s dried blood at the corner of Kim Jaeyoung’s mouth. It was as if he’d been hit. I reached out with a serious expression. He flinched but didn’t pull away and offered his face.

“Who hit you? Damn it, what happened to your face?”

Who dared touch him? Was it that pig squid bastard? I treated him like glass, and now he’s like this? With the days of darkness possibly arriving today, I reacted even more sensitively. I checked him over. I was worried there might be more injuries, and Kim Jaeyoung shyly looked down. His long eyelashes fluttered like a fairy’s fan. What a face… it’s almost awe-inspiring. Even bruised, he’s ridiculously pretty.

“…Did you just take the hit? You should’ve killed them.”

Embarrassed by how I’d been staring at his face, I pushed his face away with my palm and grumbled. Kim Jaeyoung smiled softly, his eyes curving. Then he said something outrageous.

“Yeah, I killed him.”

The way he said it, looking so pleased, left me speechless. He’s joking, right? This guy has a knack for saying unsettling things. I awkwardly laughed and praised him for doing well.

Kim Jaeyoung glanced at the clock. 10:30 a.m. He seemed to be thinking about going back to class. I grabbed his uniform.

“Let’s skip.”

“Skip?”

“You’ve never done it before, right?”

“…Yeah.”

When he came over to my house last time, he said it was his first time visiting a friend’s house. When I asked what he did at home, he only said he studied… It really hit me how much of a model student he was. Doesn’t everyone skip class at least once in their life? I pulled Kim Jaeyoung down onto the chair next to the bed.

“I’ll show you the true joy of skipping. Let’s rest a bit and go back when third period starts. Deal?”

“Okay.”

With his agreement, I lay back down comfortably. As soon as the tension left my body, my eyes began to droop. Kim Jaeyoung sat in the chair and pulled a book from the shelf by the bed. Bathed in the warm sunlight streaming through the window, he looked so serene, as if he might ascend to heaven at any moment. Is this a church or an infirmary…? I laughed self-deprecatingly at the thought of him being an angel’s incarnation. An angel? He’s probably evil-aligned. But as I watched his light hair shimmer even more softly in the sunlight, none of that seemed to matter. He’s ridiculously handsome… With these pointless thoughts, my eyes slowly closed.

“…Huh?”

I heard Kim Jaeyoung hurriedly stand up from the chair. He rarely gets flustered. What’s going on…? My heavy eyelids refused to open. Then, I heard the sound of the book he was holding hitting the floor. In my half-asleep state, I barely managed to open my eyes and look up at Kim Jaeyoung. Huh? He had been bathed in sunlight earlier, but now he stood in darkness. Under the faint red moonlight, Kim Jaeyoung seemed eerily gloomy, as if he had fallen from grace.

“…Two moons?”

At Kim Jaeyoung’s muttering, my eyes shot open. I scrambled to sit up and looked outside. The scorching sun was gone, replaced by a reddish darkness. In the sky, a red moon three times larger than usual hung beside a small yellow moon, like a goldfish’s eye. The moment I recognized the scene from my dream, I felt as if I had locked eyes with ‘them’ lurking beyond the darkness.