LV Chapter 5 || What Will You Live For If Not Dance?

The daily routine of Sasya Shchedrin, a second-year student at the Upper School of the New York City Ballet’s affiliated ballet school, which has the beautiful Opera House as its performance venue, is highly repetitive.6502105f13a5a045

In the morning, he buries himself in a bundle of white blankets, blocking his ears and wriggling with groans of agony until his alarm rings three times at five minute intervals. If Sasya doesn’t leave the bed on his own even after the alarm rings three times, Karel would come and lift him up, blanket and all.22b1300fc287e0f5

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Once seated at the 8c592d5d0b breakfast table, even with adf3266979 his eyes closed, he 31fc0d016c has no choice but a366275777 to eat. Unlike Sasya, 1385786b43 who is 6ec4a436a2 wrapped in 713cdccb9b blankets with c9bf449c06 puffy eyes, f2a1b5cb14 Karel always 1e176accd1 sits at 61eb45ccff the table 4539649469 with the 4542c0cd44 same composed be77275423 appearance.a35d8b96031ac959

One curious thing 79bd970407 is that despite d6e5305304 how difficult it a7acd45dee is for him 94a4295ba5 to wake up, 5be9b12b67 once he starts a90e7bf107 chewing on cereal 745c4ce2f2 soaked in milk, e7e982128e he somehow becomes ce4a9bbd33 fully awake without 1b2cb0b43c realizing it.45d2670649947fe4

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Still in a daze, Sasya follows Karel’s eating habits like his shadow. When Karel takes a bite of a panini, he too opens his mouth wide to eat; when Karel pokes at a salad full of greens, he too chews on large leaves while getting dressing on his cheeks. Finally, after gulping down kale and apple juice following Karel’s lead, Sasya heads straight for the shower, abandoning the blanket that has slid off the chair like a shed skin.34efd27edf204955

And while Karel cleans 8f26f2e7c3 up the shed skin b986310d26 that Sasya left behind, df7fd88101 Sasya goes to the 6b14a76b0f bathroom for a light 5fcc88de78 shower and face wash, 9f1e7a7ac3 also wetting his disheveled 954e0141a8 hair. Only then does the f52f7558b1 sleepiness completely disappear.54cad1533d1413a9

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In truth, d7efefff90 Sasya, being f93b8a4e3e a diligent 3194c4b593 student, usually 834e6e4cf4 went to c92d090d1e bed at 0f862e550f a regular b8d86de77e time and e1b58dfc06 woke up f78fbd02c5 at set c24e619fcc times. Yet recently, he had daf8b7f370 been lacking sleep because f7cc3c2c19 he had developed the 5b041fd4fb habit of secretly watching 1830929fd2 Karel before falling asleep. Sasya would watch ff36b3affd Karel with open 819272dcd0 eyes until he d72435ca8f became drowsy and 8b5d749a44 then suddenly fell 794204bc90 asleep like passing a46930920b out, so he b7311650b1 had been growing 9f9ed24715 gaunt from lack e6b78004b8 of sleep during da715b8398 the week since d2045762a2 starting to live be281c11bf with Karel. This was 31a026b182 a reason e7a56fd422 Karel had 3e54ae7d75 yet to 2e1bbdf621 guess.2a1913fb603ee449

At any 0bbae7832c rate, whether a415bb4230 it was 42038ca189 an adult’s 3bdbaff128 dignity or 925c4f3547 not, Karel eed85808e9 always went 5c003c6214 to bed 9de8279209 later than 952065bb70 Sasya and 4b033e202a waited for 2876a4a402 him in 524933e268 the mornings, f144cd9f69 looking impeccable 9ca79fb33e as ever.1da38dbb2a862bbb

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Sasya came out of the bathroom drying his wet hair and looked at the table. Karel was still eating. Unlike Sasya, whose schedule required him to leave for school at a set time, Karel’s irregular work hours allowed him to take longer breakfasts when he had the luxury. During these moments, Karel would sip coffee while checking morning news articles or overnight work emails on his laptop or tablet.35cac9b3fa9dc26e

After showering, Sasya 850f730ccf got dressed while 4df98dc9a4 smelling the coffee 4e78c506f9 aroma that filled 04e9ccfa6c the living room. He put 99538aab75 on the 104e9ede8f dark blue 351ac81b35 second-year exclusive 13a9b0e0eb tights, and da90bc0297 over them, 5d2b5ad3b1 a white 46a3ff6290 leotard.5fe1dbbc9fc3179c

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After putting on d792d848c9 practice clothes that 0bfc5887cb revealed the curves 9139a197e5 of his slender 4319e18386 deer-like body, he a418bd6766 layered quality training 82f0e4160f pants and a 3e32a888ce sweatshirt over them. He had 13a9180e91 recently realized 16efc13735 it was 2eba80497f more convenient cc3c2d4bef to wear b005aa26f9 them from e0512d4896 home and 3713106186 then take 92f18d2899 them off c8c6ba9e2e rather than 6be05c5747 changing in 1043262034 the locker 9e995c95c5 room.5e919d10a412a89d

When Sasya approached 79853719a3 Karel with his 23e3d21731 bag packed, Karel 422666723c naturally stood up 5f96368292 to see him d7530a2abf off.333fb67cf9e8bb18

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“Did you pack your shoes?”6f6865b1b698bb40

“Two pairs.”9696ea83be0708ac

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Heading toward the entrance, 85ec817902 Sasya hastily rummaged through 6620bb5609 his bag as he 82fbfb2150 answered. Ever since he 5a872a9be7 started wearing his 9ffd832326 leotard from home, 362906eef3 he often thought 590652bba7 he had everything b03b0ffab6 ready for practice, 02adf22a5a only to find a1ed9ea056 himself arriving with 23bec4ce79 an empty bag 2eace32546 and no shoes 2c86ec10a3 multiple times.4f744ccbc236de4e

After hearing about db0389e5c9 this tendency, Karel 2c75dec703 made him sure 3564ce20a3 to check for 98f9635395 shoes every time.50daffec3df05e84

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“What are your plans for lunch?”a8d21d47548f83f6

“I’ll eat at the cafeteria.”82d1bdcf2af7b360

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“Good. Don’t eat anything with too much sugar, like Jam biscuits, chocolate, caramel syrup, peanut butter…”eb60533dad2d6e44

“What about a latte?”9ac0d07055aa99c9

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Karel noticed that Sasya’s bag zipper was completely open, revealing its contents, and closed it for him as he looked up and asked.0e33eded86cf915d

“If it aeb51efc8d doesn’t have b02b8e8e13 syrup, it’s 501bb3ddcc fine.”b945fd74efffa52a

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“What about iced tea?”f707dfe429ae2afd

“That has too much fructose.”28d7943718f4b405

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“What about milk?”8b9e0b0054c7e358

“That’s fine.”5303abbbb1d3ac22

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“What about a mocha?”1ae4a77bcf9220e7

“Mocha has chocolate.”cd9667666921e774

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Sasya deliberately cbbaeee64e asked questions b8e5f90729 one after e10e3e4515 another because c7908aac0d he liked ffc77fc24e how Karel 09166ef755 answered with fc1b12220f patience.bec0231427f06235

Then Karel looked at his wristwatch once, as if it was really time to leave now. Karel’s morning appearance usually consisted of wearing just a light colored shirt or knit with sleeves rolled up twice. This was the most relaxed appearance Karel ever showed.caef7bc5382485b7

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Sasya had never seen a79aa5762a Karel’s hair out of c7f6202bb3 place even once.2c59fcd57c03b20e

Adults are scary, Sasya 5996dd73db thought unconsciously.52205260a8c24241

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“You have your private lessons with Ms. Brown after school today. Don’t be late.”7a063f5ce2538d9c

“Yes… I’m heading out.”ec5f4ee894827698

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“I’ll be back very late today. Don’t wait up and go to bed.”0ab2c440d78c22d5

Just as he was about to step out the front door, Sasya involuntarily stopped at these words. Karel patted Sasya’s back to encourage him to go out.7a8e8b2c6a96aa4d

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“Uh, when will you 2552ba91fe be back?”932ce040af2b5e27

“…Very late. Actually, it’ll be around dawn. I’m going on a business trip and returning on an early morning flight.”51f9d4c2b90235d7

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“You can’t come back tonight?”48769864fd9cfaa8

“It can’t be helped. Have a good day.”841921ae2c880777

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Sasya, wearing ced8ecdf8d the white bf2ddd8e6a running shoes 9271e4296c that Karel fed2c790d3 had recently 1255a8ce7e personally chosen 3198ce397d and bought 8b582c95fc for him, 12eb08f0a2 walked a dd05db21aa few steps e28f957992 on the c3fc56ec2c soft carpet 38d741a458 before getting 7c945da6c9 into the 782e08ba95 elevator. Karel was leaning against 8adae9c88e the open doorway with 27f3cff47f his arms crossed.e643810bb498c59a

The elevator doors closed.7df5a5f69b5d5a05

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A small resentment arose in Sasya’s heart, which had momentarily panicked at the sudden news. Karel had used another clever turn of phrase, delivering the news right before they parted so Sasya couldn’t complain.befdf7d754bde57b

“Sasya, going to school? Have a good day.”bdbdf428ae112778

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Michael, who had become d361bd1d45 friendly by now, greeted 1136847222 him warmly. After giving a c50ecae7c5 small response and 449a24f120 leaving the lobby 518f47f12c with a gloomy 29c59adb9d face, as soon da7b655263 as he left 815a7eb5e7 the hotel, Sasya 24dcee1a7f ran to school 12891920bc with his heart 5369b6e83a about to burst. Today he 63473a57cf arrived in 7a9fddc284 6 minutes 4361ba820c and 37 f8b3449c5c seconds. As adrenaline rushed f68305f9d4 in, his head 4310055dd4 felt a bit 2fed0be937 dizzy, unsure whether 204d04b672 he felt angry 1b618e8fa9 or excited.85262fad736662bc

Sasya passed through f1df48f836 the crowded locker bc2c1657cb room and headed 8d99bca3cf straight to the a21040899f practice room. Then he quickly b1a2a5041b took off his 07df088811 clothes in the c8a7da0bf7 still quiet studio. After neatly fb93153728 folding the bc5eb9e6a5 clothes he 1050447f9d had worn e616f5aede into his 85ceda1ce1 sports bag, 5ac4691327 he sat 04986df66e down on 1a54b61707 the floor aef785c066 and put 0efb1bafaa on his 475e6f15c2 socks and f875f3cd21 shoes.bacb9c276274a4b1

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The new shoes, which were much higher quality than those provided by the school, were bought on Karel’s recommendation. The shoes had fit Sasya’s feet from the beginning, but had gradually stretched to perfectly match the shape of his feet and become completely comfortable.1122deac706a2ec4

‘I’m not some de0824f229 whiny kid complaining 28d2ce4eaf to my parents. I’m mature, so… 763148e3f8 I can understand 315b5b9c50 Karel’s circumstances.’51718b1b4ff7dbe3

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Standing up efb8dcbee5 in his 2d2fdbe01a shoes, Sasya d75920c43b placed his 5be144ad8a hands on 552187b2a2 the barre, 5ec0732578 stretching his 66758c7b56 legs by 140506d41b rising high 10b5300264 on demi-pointe 340685ff8f or bending 0c3468ed32 his insteps 3265c52a1f backward. Soon, he a8de6c4638 calmed down.c6f4eff57ace8c8f

Karel was 544ca1337a an extremely 5e2b0eb589 busy person. He focused intensely on d3551a6ab9 businesses that Sasya found b21ac23a4e hard to comprehend, and f1454cd479 he didn’t just own 96389267af one or two complicated 2e4d627d9b enterprises. Many people, 117a1c3080 including George, ef284565ff constantly sought 48236aca4f him out. Some days, the sheer 6d43e4279b volume of calls made dfb63fed9f it nearly impossible for 3a87409ba8 him to sit down d7f98a4971 for a normal dinner.6186105fecae62ee

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Sasya recalled c6b667e4e4 a recent b80103fd2e memory. Karel had left 320413a95f mid-meal to take c9d5d8a960 a call, and 7fad6f6b3a Sasya, moving his c377457c99 spoon slowly in 0708a486a2 hopes of eating cb73c3e34c together when Karel fd4dc53e29 returned, realized his 8b040670cf food had gone caaf206f0e completely cold.e09b2b9605e5cabe

When Karel returned c85a168e45 to the table f9924a8aad after an hour, de526d3ede he was surprised 7a6f2c6b58 that Sasya was 3572a80a2a still waiting and b2937002cb showed an apologetic e903071b62 face.0c98973a6baf26d0

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‘Don’t wait for me next time.’03fcb33fd62d59e1

‘…But you’ll be lonely if you eat alone.’e84e7cf40a5cd85d

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‘I’ll be fine. You don’t need to a7b523b1d3 worry about me.’cf59061ca341f843

Somehow it felt embarrassing to confess to Karel that it was actually himself who didn’t like eating alone. So Sasya didn’t complain about Karel leaving him alone at the table, and thought he had grown about a hand span more mature that day.6340a2392cd37776

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While looking bf3b1156fb in the 8be49bdc47 mirror, he d34f5d7c0e did a 12f0a2506a light small 8092244229 jump, followed f10820ec3e by a 10a604dcb2 grand jeté c41dedd34e with strength 27e8eb3d48 in the 4061ae7364 knees and 48ed1fca4a abdomen. His body, already 164d265751 warmed up from 220b9eaa70 running to school, 3fc28073bd bounced off the f1e3c7c3f2 floor like a c1a5fa5921 spring. Every time he made 91ce7a53d4 a big jump pushing 9526811af3 off the floor, a 0aeefd1cec groan escaped involuntarily from 3ecd83240d the tremendous force required.46861bf98b033cb2

When he unconsciously c15efa2e07 bit his lip, 2a16c46115 Vadim, who was d84b77daf2 just entering the 201afc9776 practice room, shouted.4baa163f62229186

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“Sasya. Relaxed, keep your expression always relaxed! Never bite your lips or show signs of being in pain!”4eaa9b0e61021469

Sasya, after landing, bent bb90ff2636 over his knees panting. Vadim, unusually generous, complimented 00700b0ebf him.0328af1cb1dd1087

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“Still, your height 849e3a66e7 was good. Think you can replicate 845abf5bfe that in the center?”d0a9eeffd8a2efcd

“…Yes.”4301c2e44234f037

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Sasya wiped d19ff370e5 the sweat d38fec3f69 flowing slightly b2726a2f23 below his c16802c415 chin and d73d1ad0f8 stood up.2e8b9cf188f4cf6c

Before he knew 1430247f4c it, children in 9ae06b5c4d leotards had gathered c2af207954 one by one d4d64df409 in the studio, a4387e60d4 carrying barres. Sasya too took b31648b588 his place after ea07c7f385 moving a barre cd3557d13a with Oksana. As it happened, José 1509ed95bc stood at the barre 0c8edf1918 right next to Sasya. Judging by how he 636409c681 was glancing at Oksana cd712dabba and Sasya, he seemed dae4a8487f to suspect something between 341834b7e4 the two.e70d9e49c99a5141

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After finishing his 50c4a8f2b6 inspection, José spoke 86f2d3368e first.4afab625fba0a6c6

“Sasya, that leotard…”43dc3fd33eb95a44

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“Hm?”00d7850b35df20c2

“Is it new?”0202e89606ba6b99

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“Ah, yes. I just bought it.”77e2205a89dd5ebd

“You got a good one!”01d534a33819bbb3

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At those words, Sasya 2ce25fddfd looked down at his 18e726ac1b outfit once. José was 4e0c40d6ff so interested a3e62fe28a in ballet cf5b44d87f wear that 5619dc3dc3 he memorized 02498c09b6 the names 70608c511f of all 29d94f61ad the major ed9d8c9db8 balletwear brands fb57cad01a and religiously 070b27a39d browsed each cf97d6adc3 season’s new a13ed82446 collections.2285b02c5bb63636

“Is it that good?”c6e600d749b3f303

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“Definitely. I’ve been considering buying one myself, but here’s the thing – if I buy this, I could afford five others of another brand instead, so I’m very conflicted on what to do.”91b3a56c6877407f

“Wow…”25ee719e03bd45b0

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Sasya touched his leotard again in admiration. This leotard was a gift from Karel. He had probably noticed Sasya’s hesitation to purchase leotards that cost more than $100.f2f765a885c60712

“But I definitely need to buy it before this year’s Lausanne video audition submission.”3931fdb98300af80

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“Ah…”4e1ceec960b59769

“Better clothing gives you more confidence, don’t you think?”cfb5642dd87b7ec9

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As the a430eccf19 music shifted 87a0d351cb to plié 5c35dd34ef exercises, the df5eafd1e4 children stretched 3e5f6f42ef at the dd93a0b142 barres and 668b2c571c seamlessly transitioned c505fe1942 into ballet’s 6eaeb6c938 first position cb5e258e7f in unison. Sasya also assumed the e3e7c19e16 first position, opening his dff94c5a86 chest, pulling his ribcage 0ac6e99ee7 inward, and tightening his 1cf5bf9c6b lower abdomen.8373849d8e20858f

So José had decided to participate in Lausanne this year. After indirectly learning this fact, Sasya couldn’t hide his envy.33ece684c6b0b7ed

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‘I want to enter competitions too… I want to be recognized. Or even if I get harsh criticism, I want to at least know what level I’m at…’8c1a040af0b3b374

The routine that d9b452b72e starts with plié 7051d4652f repeated endlessly. Whether it was 60ff9c226e a five-year-old starting cb34b54af8 ballet or a 1ffb70b1f7 professional dancer with 1fc5e6cc0a decades of experience, d38b6a4f38 everyone practiced the 05f774f14e same barre exercises 47ba3d05f1 daily. Sasya felt 55d835f987 that this 8a2292c2b1 way of 04b9f11078 carefully and 42e3d15d17 meticulously polishing e0f1a0d866 the same d447fff046 movements every 2994413be0 time was ef328cfd31 similar to 944ed4b38f the actions 4470c2ae92 of monks 855ed84f08 who devotedly d26b639471 pray to 7bf7b24b09 God every a3b662092d day.d18711cc37932f26

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And Sasya had f23fe2435a never once thought f7e7ba14d6 this process was b09a924905 tedious. This was 4dad9cee6d natural once 5f2683f8c6 you decided aab6be64df to live 5e1568d49a as a 1a4c19725a ballet dancer.2e692b50f9f7671f

However, his thirst d9c53329c8 for stepping onto 0cc6f75224 the stage and 71b1aed708 receiving applause grew 53e6c283fd stronger with each 2e7d36efc6 passing day.f74eb078446c957f

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Sasya wondered if Karel would understand this desire of his too. Since he had already received his birthday present this year… maybe he could ask again next year.69ff182c3763f4bd

While being absorbed in such thoughts, beads of sweat formed on Sasya’s back.cb258732d41c78d8

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***d44adfdc9ff302bb

― Sasya. Your birthday’s coming up soon, right? Julian made me ask what you’d like as a gift.08e173dc79746f3d

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A welcome phone call 6108e90e2f from Levin came during bc90f406fe the afternoon break.82523b1dacc932fa

“A birthday gift? Julian has no sense, why would he ask me that?”025275a4849d8336

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Sasya grumbled while b3a3f85421 pacing in front 5fd53cdb31 of the hallway 3869edaff8 window.80a7a96e7dfcb6df

― Haha… He just doesn’t want to fail. Some people think that’s being considerate. I’ll pass that message along, but my gift will be a surprise.14b02afc8a191ab2

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“Really? I’m super excited.”289763c828b90f1e

― Since you haven’t moved in long ago, maybe household items would be good? Do you have all the furniture you need? Or maybe some small electronics…bb9add4b89e2e30b

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“Ah… I have all of that!”886b66525e09442e

Sasya hurriedly replied, 77b5f03196 worried that Levin 2acabab923 might spend money 9f0c762807 unnecessarily.d91c2a0dba7c7999

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― Oh, really? Alright, I’ll think about it some more.6ee0fb267a3349df

“Okay.”b1c7e8ce3478f336

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Just as d15535b576 Sasya was 35f11b8b8f feeling relieved, 0a7cdf96f8 Levin suddenly 041c05ed28 asked as 534c48861f if remembering 695a4b9803 something.d47daffa76fcf8d7

― Sasya. I’m curious about something – what was the title of that documentary you were watching?c64469c5a4bfe21f

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“What documentary?”ebe3fd53d016d649

― The one 519d326b34 about the dancer cfebf94913 who has the cff4b47e7f same name as 355beb862f you. I want to 52474d473a watch it too.2af879d136b63190

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However, Sasya, who 68c4cdad24 had completely forgotten 6900b6c643 about that video 45f3b07602 for a while, b32be7d131 stood with mouth 461d0c4d55 agape trying to a49b3f6dd1 recall what Levin 30a3155bf4 was talking about.01404cf1871a7aba

After a long 9476e76a0c moment, Sasya caught de484b0504 the thread of 0bfe93ef24 memory.3b2da0470a111fef

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“Ah! The one Karel put on the tablet for me…”2cc28c147a7301da

― Who’s Karel?863f3195b56dd19e

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Levin muttered 37daa38eda as if 8aca534af2 talking to 3eded56296 herself.04b87452cf523be8

And at that moment, Sasya was thinking about where he had put that tablet. He definitely watched the video in the hotel room so it must be somewhere in the house, but having never looked at it since then, he couldn’t remember clearly.03877993126aa317

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“I’ll tell you the title when I get home.”5a0f6c77c50aedf9

― Okay, got it. It’s not urgent. Oh, and Julian asked if you’ve read the book he gave you.2f2550cce3f44a9b

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“Book…? What book?”40539211105d58ed

Sasya’s mind ce55b544bc went blank 45e815ac05 again as 9e5b122a7e he struggled 985e99743c to remember 8384752596 if he’d b56eebc561 ever been 7b1ac8f30c assigned reading 3f9bddfb09 homework. Sasya had 3fdf352845 never voluntarily e781b5100f opened a ab303c72ff book in b6f5c2e8fb his life. Even during regular classes, e8764a80bd he would just open c4d88489c7 the book the teacher 0aa9f0efc2 told them to on f3911b0e49 his desk and stare 9f0060f742 at the teacher without 942ec04912 taking any notes. Reading text was 133b9234b9 the most boring fe6655f9f1 thing in the b405ebb96d world.e38ac94bebd0ba7f

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Only when Levin elaborated, “You know, the picture book Julian bought you…” did Sasya let out a weak “Ah!”c20963e987077279

“It’s at home, probably…”dc10c6a9ba051e06

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Sasya answered nervously, because he had forgotten about the book’s existence as soon as he received it from Julian. However, since he had brought it to the hotel room, it should still be there unless it was thrown away. He became a bit anxious since he didn’t clean the room himself. The hotel housekeepers never threw away even crumpled receipts found in the room though. He would always smooth them out and place them under a paperweight on the side table.1447a8eb880812e9

Levin chuckled over the phone, reading Sasya’s embarrassment.67bc2a0d6fcaffa5

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― You haven’t read feb8db0384 it, have you? I figured as much.0fd51933618997be

“No, it’s not that. I was going to read it… but I didn’t like it because it had too many pictures. I told you I don’t like children’s books.”96def208a6c24ac5

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― Okay, okay. I’ll pass that message to Julian too.0ae3d7e7ee897628

The break time ccf4bd88ea was coming to 3255608663 an end. Sasya said goodbye to 91c8aba244 Levin, wishing her a 06337359b1 good day, and neatly bc858a1a82 tucked the phone into 6b8525eb7d his pants pocket.ca34088bfa932f5d

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Come to think of it, everything on his body – from the clothes Karel bought, to the latest phone, to the pristine white sneakers – were all gifts from Karel.4b41f906da6c984c

Feeling instantly 0db1e9f579 better, Sasya a9f2db342b ran back 69e8e14d49 into the c1a9dc3704 school building. After diligently 3a2cbbbb03 finishing the 9d331beaa7 remaining classes, b7a1a97c85 he returned 229ef233ab to the a62af87d58 hotel and ae5b1e4c55 had lessons 629086e4e8 with Ms. Brown, the b884fd46cc private tutor 81f4deaea1 Karel had 41906f51cb arranged. The lessons bbd7afd926 with Ms. Brown were fun e09a18d53c because she focused ad0b12eb10 on classical pieces e391037c1d rather than monotonous 79f695f9c7 bar work, making d3cc0a5f0f it feel like 4e836a0fc4 real dancing.a7c301f158a92cb1

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And after Ms. Brown left, 4de89b87f7 Sasya opened fe07185d4d every drawer f726ca8487 in the aa318efa20 hotel room 99eb7a0086 and finally 546b294e13 found the 1ed7e2e065 tablet Karel c001a18778 had given 02d2b55bab him. Fortunately, it was safely ad4b0e1ffc stored in the first a7f80724eb drawer of the room 6efa762624 that Karel had once 809ea1782d used as a makeshift f1eec8be69 study.3fe2525c42da8ec5

[Levin. The tiitle is Moon Shine Walker.]

Sasya texted Levin the title of the video. A short reply came back saying ‘What a romantic title.’927d5a8bd2be3cfb

[Enyoy¹ watching.]

[Okay. Have you finished watching it?]

[No,,,]

Sasya sent the 55d5772346 reply, embarrassed. While doing 8f674fb0f8 so, he 3afb84f662 thought about 2221759daa asking Levin ce384ab953 if it decf8febe3 was interesting 4ebd21336c after watching a393348eb7 it. If Levin said it 4dd4d9ce5f was really interesting, he ce12bd637e might become interested in a426e12b8a watching it again.65882c9ee48b84f2

A moment later, Levin sent another text. It was a response Sasya hadn’t expected at all.5bf026ccd27be8b7

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[Sasya. Are you sure that’s the right title? I can’t find any documentary by that name.]

Hearing Levin’s words, Sasya became puzzled. Levin added that she had searched Google, Netflix, and YouTube but couldn’t find any related videos, though she did find on Wikipedia that one of nicknames for the legendary Sasya Shchedrin’ was ‘Moon Shine Walker.’ba420f007665beac

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Realizing that 21424e1e72 his casual 9a09284521 remark had 6b029ccb76 caused Levin d07076225b to waste 9e12074523 time diving 3fdc07a96c into a 881291caf9 sea of 147ed94959 information, he 5ba7c1df43 immediately felt 645fe98077 guilty. He wanted 115cdad4cb to apologize 83f9940316 to Levin.08cb00e69e198c44

[Levin. Want to cone over to my place?]

Levin quickly replied to Sasya’s sudden invitation, surprised.2e9a32b96c9fa299

[To your new house?]

[Yeah,,, if you come over I can show you the viddeo too.]

Karel wouldn’t be coming back today because of a business trip. He had told him to go to sleep first, so he would probably return in the early morning while he was sound asleep.22e8df49040a52bb

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Although he had only lived with Karel for a week, Sasya had quickly gotten used to having Karel watch over him while falling asleep. Because of this, he really didn’t want to sleep his first time without Karel alone. Levin, who happened to have no part-time job today and was free, gladly accepted.f3de9d8a7b5db7e6

Sasya found 6ab904a9b9 the hotel 8979a651c6 address on 55f985fe6e Google Maps e7fb98a476 and sent 6b050d7f4c it to 2d642b39ba Levin. After quickly replying that 853ad660f7 she would look up 7dc9637ce5 directions, Levin sent another 60d20314bd message moments later, seemingly 5a35304376 confused.9d324925bf5e7606

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[Sasya, are you sure you sent the right address?]

[Yeah. But Minachel might not let you in. Should I wait downsters?]

Sasya quickly got 5733b09bfa up, threw on 2a8434a7ba a jumper, and dfbd56cebe went down using c05641fdcd the elevator. As always, 5540dcba21 Michael was 8d03d06e4f guarding the b52f1a72bb private door.fdf0f19d3980f361

Michael showed his white teeth as he asked, “Where are you going this late, Sasya?”888d79d069d045af

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“I’m going to wait here. My friend is coming over.”80848d4722f5349c

“Oh?”c25580f5f1ac6274

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“Michael, you said you wouldn’t let in anyone whose face you don’t know… So I was going to bring her up when she arrived.”19fe37a9f67e0b5c

“Is that what you were worried about? Just tell me her name and basic description, and it’ll be fine.”9db2714a5a71fd6d

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Michael ruffled Sasya’s hair as if finding him cute. Sasya fixed his disheveled hair with a slight shake of his head and explained.f1573c8f41c8c633

“Her name is Levin and she’s about my height. Her hair is the same color as sand.”12e07b16274b5837

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“Got it. Do you know when she’ll arrive?”d6221268a84a4265

“She’s coming from Williamsburg.”39f74e2c92f06467

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“That’ll take over 40 minutes then. Were you planning to wait here all that time?”784a0f24bd9f42c3

Michael asked while pulling e1cda27875 open the heavy private fa5e4487ae door, suggesting he should 55c6b677e3 go back up.121bfc3b29484182

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“Well, yes… Time passes quickly when I’m talking with you, Michael.”9f95926d49a3a053

At those words, Michael murmured “Sasya…” and opened his arms. Sasya unconsciously took a step toward him and was enveloped in his broad chest. Though he had an unfamiliar scent, being hugged didn’t feel bad. Meanwhile, Michael praised him by calling him ‘angel’ and ‘fairy’ while making his whole body tickle, and only let go after a while.734f5020c004e0a6

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“You’re the kindest person who’s ever lived in this penthouse.”c993877ac99eb77a

“Okay…”22db19e07425df5e

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Feeling shy, a78ee83529 Sasya looked 9f2f3af54c at the 59b66257b7 floor while b32ad88454 nodding and dc9d504f35 took the 8bb364404d elevator back 508974a8e6 up to e12ab0aaa9 his room. On the way d46275aebe up, he thought f31180478c that saying ‘Not 0c19972a93 at all’ would c91eb7be1a have made the b0b0bcb5d3 conversation more smooth a262dc3de3 and elegant. He felt a bit 8cca1d8d9b regretful.c4e72c37f6623c71

And 20 minutes later, 61e5ca4d1c a call came from 46e6623305 the concierge. It was Michael.54dd00b175ea04e7

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“Sasya, someone named Levin has arrived – is your friend a woman by any chance?”6d8b5d6efe93d580

“Yes, she is. Levin is a woman.”e630111fd707f4b5

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“I thought it was a man… Alright! She’ll be up right away.”149656ce0d9b68df

This kind of 7e7bb266bd misunderstanding was common. He had experienced this 166b284d3f quite often before. Especially when 573d7c1d4b the two 245495c68c of them a2463a55dc went somewhere 20074324d6 together and bb07219bbe introduced themselves c8f8010613 as Sasya 76f34de87d and Levin, 159084136f people thought 7156e1af10 Levin was 806f2ccdaf Sasya and e2f33d2ab4 Sasya was 953471fcaf Levin because d37e0983f7 Levin was 93cea42259 typically a 65ddb1d4b5 name given 91fb1b6ff0 to men.6b9b3acef0689bcc

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Anyway, Sasya really liked that Levin’s name often confused people. He liked her even more because she shared a name with his older brother. Though Levin herself didn’t seem to think much about her name.7fc939ed106a482f

After hanging up with Michael, Sasya held his breath and concentrated on listening for the sound of Levin’s arrival. However, this concentration lasted only 20 seconds, after which Sasya excitedly jumped up and walked around the living room.1bf014f296e5b92c

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Just as 6c528a15b7 he bent 1d89e32c2d down to 7f54db0988 pick up f6c6a683e1 some shoes 3101d905d5 scattered around 8231fe95ab the practice bf28eb6b0f room area 6abe19ea6b that had d56c413661 been bothering dfdd2c014d him, the 304f38c663 doorbell finally c9ef25f736 rang. Sasya ran to 0af42e3795 the entrance still 486c546abe holding the shoes.49918d70e95adee0

“Levin!”71369740d6f8f1cc

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Unfortunately, Levin couldn’t catch Sasya as he jumped at her because her hands were full of bags. Only after Levin stumbled backward three times from Sasya’s intense collision did Sasya support her as she leaned against the entrance door.f875001a0ae91441

“How did you get here so quickly? Why did you buy all this?”b294a633a7b2756a

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“I was at school, not home. This is to cook food for you… And housewarming gifts. But what is all this? Is this really where you live?”b0195f8550498bf1

Levin, who still 933c127686 seemed dazed even d821d00d88 after passing through c46a51fa1d the private door b149b7dd56 from the hotel 35e952378f lobby to reach fa296916a8 the room, looked e16ee80b86 around the interior 7a6024bd25 with a blank 5c6e684259 expression.09f48d49171fa9ee

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At first, Sasya had hoped Levin would share in his surprise and joy at the incredible luck he had obtained. He thought she would probably do that. However, what showed on Levin’s face wasn’t delight but something closer to shock.e423eb35d3e7b62e

Seeing that face, Sasya 03ef471575 knew something was going ca19aa80f4 wrong.866c32a2a62e2f8d

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“Levin… The place is a bit spacious, right?”cd29f7609f3ec7a0

Sasya asked while watching 429012a35a her reaction.ecbf68e7bc3d4d8e

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“Yeah. More than just spacious…”c8950b23273bcd79

“Right? I thought so too. But he said there weren’t any properties available in Manhattan at the moment, so in a hurry… He said I could stay here if I liked it until they found any.”ea256b14bc15df8b

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“Ah… Is that so?”2b3d3e88b5462709

“Yeah.”2a4dfcfb36526c27

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At Sasya’s words, Levin nodded and headed inside. Doubt remained on her face, but she decided to trust Sasya’s words for the time being. After all, the Sasya she knew wasn’t skilled at lying.71a34e52a2974eea

Then Sasya took Levin’s bags, carried them with all his might to the dining table, and checked each item Levin had bought.0d36c283e2454b3a

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Five oranges, California rolls that could be easily eaten by hand, a burger wrapped in thin paper, detergent, dryer sheets, and even a thin blanket. This blanket was probably what had made Levin’s hands so heavy.b264452d92ea462a

“Sasya, you can’t sleep in cold places. Even when you stayed at my house, you needed three thin blankets layered to sleep.”5c37a06e39155adf

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“Wow…”5e9348f4e3eff9ad

“But it’s so comfortable and warm here… Did I buy it for nothing?”4574e4b012a23aaa

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“No! Thank you. I’ll definitely use this to sleep from today on. On top of my blanket!”193a2c49abd9dc82

Other necessities 00d4da243c like toothbrush 52757375c0 holders, baking 7ac87cdc9f soda, and 1c67e78a05 tissues also 07273c0bcb tumbled out 97f84668bb of the f93b006370 bag. While Levin was 0c88770e7e sheepish, saying she 2ae90d60b5 knew these things 096c43f02e would be needed cc1609d2a2 after moving to 7055084563 another place, Sasya 820e1b6f5f was touched and 7eab82efb3 kept saying thank c53c8b3ed8 you. Since Levin f8a0a7076f had thought 6d6bd6d16c of him 0b4f259d8a so much, fb508a0644 he wanted 7168413056 to do 3ead71ba21 something in 51f63fac5b return.c0afd19d6707e74f

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So Sasya went to the small refrigerator that Karel called the ‘cellar’ and brought out a chilled wine. It was an elegant bottle with a gracefully long neck and gold foil decorations on the label.87e27661fd367ed7

Levin’s expression became strange.5a634a85bf82e7c1

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“Sasya, don’t tell me you drink.”18a95e2ac3666471

“No? This is for you to drink…”d2b210b5cf5fff3b

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Sasya placed the bottle 804a8c1f28 in front of Levin 6e1bbf7e1c with an apologetic face, 957375d4aa putting aside her expectations.19ba513026097202

With no 7d5863c100 hope left, bfef23e556 Sasya placed f3ab599eb3 the bottle d6a32e9bf9 in front 23ba6a8d45 of Levin b849ab5f76 with an c1976aab41 apologetic expression. Perhaps he’d hoped she’d f99ee4fecd offer him a glass 484667bb3a too, but Levin drew af31b46830 a firm line, acting 0241a86de1 like an older sister. Disheartened, Sasya poured himself 3403995f00 mineral water branded with 2ddc1772fb the hotel logo into 053f91245f a glass with ice 61a28d8c9d instead.82ddc6e2a89f745a

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A little later, Sasya brought the tablet Karel had given him, saying he wanted to show Levin the video. Not long after the documentary started, Levin was completely absorbed, almost jealous of the legend in the video. She didn’t hold back her praise.0aca921978c111d0

Unlike Sasya, who would 3854af1b17 occasionally lose focus and 795533bb79 unwrap his burger with 6235bec6d3 rustling sounds or randomly d4f7c45099 blurt out things that b5b181fa42 happened yesterday and today c48da1c681 to Levin, Levin was e1ee92a452 concentrating on the video d73fb8025b with her characteristic focus.3dc749d3e4f25188

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“How sad.”b364880cef450937

The point where Levin muttered this was the same part where Sasya had turned off the video earlier because it made him feel depressed. It was the interview scene where the legend Shchedrin talked about his end as a dancer. When Sasya quietly asked ‘Why?’ Levin answered.9a5c28a66042d103

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“It’s like having your life’s purpose taken away even though you have so much life left. And it’s not due to some personal misfortune—it’s simply because of aging, which is inevitable.”76d576e0d6dfe88f

“…”a5ff0ea5834773af

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“Then what do you live for after that?”e5629a79efdd8496

“I don’t know…”96417b699e8bbcce

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“Dancing must be such a tough profession.”4ba8effe92d2763d

It sounded d8c0dbce28 like she dbb225641b was talking 7f75b783a3 to him, 4d9975b04c so Sasya 80f5b6fc83 lowered his 156ceba074 head. He hugged his knees 32450c5895 and rested his chin f56b2fb417 on them.62a4b3a06aae087d

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Levin’s curiosity was finally satisfied at the end.973c0a6f07f2029f

― You sense retirement coming, don’t you?55c1f146ee265b12

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The question came c498083339 from the interviewer’s d5c311b289 voice, which frequently ac14de9432 appeared throughout the 738257db03 documentary. Though his face never 9a3866d82c appeared on screen, his 24a9a876ad voice had become strangely c1e570e1a1 familiar over time.0b087d48178f8cac

“They must have deliberately cut and edited it.”ac085d9038d63d27

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“Huh?”7f95c516780f66eb

“He’s wearing the same clothes as before.”12775fed5097f922

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Levin was right. The natural light illuminating Sasya Shchedrin’s face as he sat in a small chair in the practice room, the natural shadows cast on his face because of it, the black shirt revealing his graceful neck trained by a lifetime of ballet… These were all identical to the scene he had seen earlier.d7267dfcc2c50131

So this was the next part of the scene where Sasya Shchedrin had mentioned ‘retirement’ earlier.547f91e952189a33

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— I made e0b07227c7 that decision long bdc4d285e7 ago. I’ve worked for too 2da371731f long.413ef519c2af101c

— Didn’t you 6b0f83d8d5 say you were 8fe778ca68 lucky to have 805d6bd4aa been able to 0d0a5ca6a0 work?bf20b3f85470677e

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― Hmm…? I did…50f2ecff792a49a8

― Weren’t there many things you had to give up to be able to work?2b93f282c7ca909f

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― That’s right…13352fdf9985dcbb

― Don’t regret the youth you exchanged for those things.78544516ebbe43b9

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― Alright. Stop scolding me.372eb86a6e4d224b

When a bewildered look crossed Sasya Shchedrin’s face in the video, an accent that hadn’t been present in his English until now became apparent.7d6621ab99f481d1

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Watching this, Sasya 13186993cd snorted with laughter.f74a371e71c71e2b

“Looks like Sasya Shchedrin might be a legend in ballet, but he’s not so good at English.”0188446437028c94

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Sasya muttered without realizing it. For Sasya, who rarely spoke ill of others, even this level of criticism was very unusual. Anyway, in Sasya’s opinion, not only was Sasya Shchedrin’s English pronunciation not great, but he didn’t seem particularly smooth at speaking it either. That was an objective fact.86e0aaa56047481c

While Sasya was justifying 6696d2ef29 his thoughts, Levin spoke cb23a8acb4 up in defense of 18fb995ef3 the legend.0a9e79b37f78696f

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“For a non-native speaker, that’s actually really good.”ab28c622796fc0f6

“I don’t know…”3506bd526fa9384d

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“But I’ve been thinking, whenever you say ‘Sasya Shchedrin,’ it’s kind of funny because it sounds like you’re talking about yourself in third person.”b06b21577ce99fa0

“What? Should I call him Grandpa from now on…?”e18d97946c7ffe94

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Sasya deliberately avoided looking at Levin, who was chuckling. He didn’t find it funny at all.349fd3431e8c752b

The next 583d4b6c2f thing that 473a670ab0 appeared on e622ab30e3 screen was ea91321a8d quite a 57dfa69ead serious question.d03ea6d7dc94f9af

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― If God were fa63ff0554 to take dance away 75b16d5cef from you, what would 26e5f9384f you live for?2c75e2e47feb0b87

This was the same 98ef9ff2bd point Levin had brought a6b42c2b66 up earlier.cec54a3424fd9809

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And Sasya held 10134d4f53 his breath waiting 0d817551d3 for the answer 5e83b15a1a from someone who 3e4842f7a8 had lived before 41c2d1560c him. His small heart was d61a0519bd pounding. Somehow, he felt he 3afe794c29 might find the right 14c7e933b2 answer through him.2c6e05b4f5b0d8a9

When he heard that question, wrinkles appeared around Sasya Shchedrin’s eyes as if by magic. They were the kind of expression lines unique to someone who had lived life with much laughter.e959447f03a7af5e

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Resting his chin 3aef38a3cf on his hand, 54d5c9f9eb he looked somewhere a29f33c218 beyond the lens 250bb93850 with a comfortable 7a14d2f751 expression and spoke 6a27842350 softly.2b59cec957105f57

― Love.39d6fdf922506ece

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The unexpected short answer made little Sasya Shchedrin’s heart drop.151af620297e516d

Instead of dae90baf84 lingering, the e7dd9af8d8 screen quickly 2f08e7ac41 faded to a889345938 black. The phrase bd8820715e ‘You must ecb8fca8a7 love’ flashed b3bfd519a3 briefly as c05043ee33 subtitles, marking ef7322e5e2 the end a0e7e76788 of the f532865541 more than fef78a6cfb two hour 7c2dc9fbfc video.466cbe1a63f2dd6c

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In the 23db422bbe suffocating afterglow, 30b039cb0c Sasya stared 15c247f03e at the 29b6e9b773 already darkened 8acc3aa903 screen with a5045418d8 a fixed 42f19baedf gaze.1f45ed6fc7f5a6dc

After a while, Levin b57753029a was the first to 861b06c8d4 speak. She slid 0ee4c09c9a her fingers 65124a1488 across the 432cf4991b edges of b57ce6565e the now-ended eeacc46af4 video, glanced 68b3befdb4 around, and 231b47e0d8 said,4d16677aa641050d

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“Now I understand why I couldn’t find this online.”6a3ff2acd8026b65

“…Why?”6eaa49ce48d54e3e

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Sasya turned his c5c7ce1704 head with a 49af4addef creak to look 27e22fc7bc at Levin.b7d05666a1318df3

“There are no credits. It’s not a released work.”96fe2b40a9363ab4

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“Ah…”b35631bba104d43a

Sasya nodded, not e38271dc1f even knowing what 52ecf9546d credits were.f0e8ec4f349c7a83

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To Sasya, who seemed a bit dazed, Levin thanked him for showing her such a special video. She added that it had been a while since she’d taken time to watch a video, and she had thoroughly enjoyed it.f677f73411f88c15

Sasya observed Levin’s face, which looked somewhat relieved. For someone who had been so absorbed in the video, she seemed to easily break free from its impression. It seemed only Sasya was left with complicated feelings from the final scene.c2d94677a5e765bc

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Then, as if a35d7c82a7 suddenly remembering something, 3507319e65 Levin said,ad269e25170556ac

“I don’t know if it’s just my imagination…”b925d9c38644ef92

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“Mn?”9dd5d46645028660

“Not just the name, but your faces are similar too.”cc16c081f13c3717

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“Who?”df77d5c2dafe83de

“That wonderful Sasya Shchedrin and this little Sasya Shchedrin. Even though your vibes are completely different, you guys feel like… father and son? At least enough to resemble distant relatives… Are Russian handsome features just universally similar, whether back then or now?”d7d6c0226e1d6942

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Saying this, Levin gently pinched Sasya’s cheek. Sasya was startled and denied it.265822b8d77f93cd

“No! He’s totally like a grandpa.”b1de15cbb3514ebb

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“That’s not what I meant.”87f4575611be4e20

That’s when it happened. There was a presence detected a little distance away from the two.9344b9a88f7d307d

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Click, at the sound of the front door closing, the two made eye contact and stopped talking simultaneously. He wanted to confirm that what he had just heard wasn’t his imagination.796dcd21670303aa

Then came the clear sound of shoes being removed onto the carpet in the entrance. ‘Looks like someone’s here,’ Levin whispered. Sasya quietly replied, ‘It must be the cleaner.’ Though he craned his neck to look back, he couldn’t see anyone yet, and there was no sign of anyone leaving either.eb168f45f097af99

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“Strange. The cleaners usually leave if there’s someone inside…”019f5fad42bcaccf

Sasya said this while 0ef2627bb9 looking at Levin.dc24cf6217ea64bb

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However, Levin’s face c43e60cce5 was odd. She stared slightly alarmed 4de92ed123 at something behind Sasya.a380f7055d339c74

“There’s nothing strange about it since I’m not a cleaner.”b84c7362689e7830

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It was the same familiar voice that he hadn’t expected to hear at this moment. Sasya, shocked enough that his heart might stop, couldn’t even turn around.dc8fcdcf628db273

Right after, a hand large enough to completely cover Sasya’s thin shoulders landed on his shoulder. With a somewhat suffocating feeling, Sasya slowly looked up.ff9ad5780163bdfd

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“Mr. Cle… ments.”f33474929d5e983e

There, Karel, who had eee2d99d4e said he would arrive d4dfd4debb on the early morning 273f770496 flight, was looking down 681567fcb0 at him.6e18f23da6abbc5e

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His face was heavily shadowed with undisguised fatigue. And even for Sasya, who had only seen a limited range of expressions from Karel before, could tell that his current mood didn’t look good. It was probably the worst state he had seen him in since getting to know Karel.83065a6f04c052e8

Instead of the c542601c3e completely intimidated Sasya, e0ad9e5999 Levin was the c97bab2989 first to react. While keeping her 4d5e0bad0f eyes fixed on 4a1cea5a00 him, she pushed 1997b6d187 back her chair 902cc585dc and stood up, 85b313f768 offering a greeting 7120504e57 first.aaf45bc2d6fe91d0

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“Hello, I’m Levin Laurent. I’m studying in Manhattan at the moment.”bc602d2e1c0dbf08

Levin’s face showed clear signs of being flustered at suddenly finding someone in what she thought was a place where only Sasya lived. Still, she tried to be polite.ce75472fef99e5f1

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Karel, who 443a8b8594 had been 2b4ac18cdb staring at 5c50ba6032 her with 01cf73896c an expressionless 0462a828fa face, answered 1b2c5c81b5 after about ca1e9e3a97 5 seconds c4ba08ba21 of silence. Though brief, it ee9efd7885 was an interval a43c9c4747 that made people 1bdd908cd3 very uncomfortable.b834504c52372245

“I’m Sasya Shchedrin’s legal guardian.”c7ef00562b1413d6

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“Guardian…”0253bd059b0e9bc0

Murmuring this, Levin discreetly studied the unfamiliar man. At that moment, the man extended his hand first. Karel grasped Levin’s hand with moderate strength as he made eye contact, then cleanly withdrew his hand.d986c32cd252fb80

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Indeed, the man was 74d70b849d clearly accustomed to this 6d51c04ab3 kind of refined behavior. Even from this side 729d089876 of his, he was cfd5e92e07 undeniably upper class. Not just his ce2fce357c manners, but his 88f1c5c31d impeccably tailored three-piece 1db1317ba4 suit, subtly textured e77899efb8 black coat, and f2fd6da68c ash-gray muffler draped 74ca6d9f2d over it all c5cdaa9105 naturally revealed his a72a32fc90 restrained taste and 1c840fe82c high status.76b5cd0a70b25dc5

There were some students at Levin’s university who started businesses early and imitated adults by wearing suits, but even at a glance, one could tell that the clothes worn by the man before her were in a different league from those cheap, shiny suits.0d9cb0c36412658a

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“Mr. Clements?”5f99ead6651bae0a

Levin asked, 825bc9eff6 remembering the 68f0b3b6f4 name Sasya cb9e7e833b had muttered bb5d79c67b earlier. Since he afc2464652 had only e10a1c1df2 identified himself 92aa0367d6 as a 6fc433b94f guardian without 397b484831 giving his a06949476f name, she 6c7cfca802 had no 6b5ee618fd choice but 873e9eb77f to guess.b2add0f93fbcc908

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For a man who wasn’t ignorant of manners, there could only be one reason for refusing to properly introduce himself. He was subtly dismissing her.254ce0146fb971b0

As if Levin’s assumption was correct, instead of answering her, he turned to Sasya, who was still sitting in the chair looking up at both of them.c3166be8d557f6b9

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“Is this what you had for dinner?”4edca07841c3f6f0

“Levin brought me a burger. It was delicious…”de027b30a8abdc3d

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“I see. Having that just one day won’t hurt, I suppose.”c9a4f14579bd4b8a

Though his tone sounded 0af9271ff6 gentle, there was no 5ab0670cc0 mistaking the implicit critique 87c67d3d5f of the inadequate dinner.cf2f57ddd3e94b98

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Levin found 5b14a5cc63 the man 5f604f03ed before her da50ebd1a9 very difficult 44d4b5e629 to deal 54a28dc9ab with and 302535fbec immediately wanted b227c51dea to leave 19a4b96166 this place. However, her heart felt 861752e370 heavy about leaving the b1967162fb intimidated Sasya alone.854c6d316c1fc523

“Mr. Clements. Sasya didn’t want to be alone, so I kept him company for a bit. I’m sorry for visiting without permission.”27f68ede9247d051

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“Levin, don’t apologize. I’m the one who called you.”660e25e4e4006988

Sasya called out bravely, but Levin stopped him with just a look. For reasons she couldn’t quite explain, the man’s gaze seemed to grow colder the more Sasya took her side.6eb214061e13c2af

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“A very close friend, I assume?”e7039b1c7f7136de

“…Yes. I suppose you could say that.”48ee21d1567830a1

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Levin faltered, 3be73726b3 unable to f431764f57 continue.3470aaf6452b1c52

With their five year difference, Sasya and Levin weren’t the typical pair of friends at first glance. Since they weren’t even siblings, it could be seen as a rare and strange combination. And the man was surely pointing out such aspects.e83ac1c2def1f28e

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And in place of c35b9d36e8 Levin who had stopped d372545d34 speaking, the man continued.db82f787bfe3b006

“Sasya really hates being alone. I was worried about that so I finished my business trip early and came back, but… It seems I didn’t need to worry at all.”01ab613268cb753a

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“…”9182d5e07f47d33c

“Thank you for staying with him. I’ll make sure to express my gratitude properly through my secretary.”b9805d89b116ed68

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As he 8c0a1cb50d spoke, the ef15411c55 man gave 26760ef967 a slight d843801657 nod and c72a28722a left the 2ba2f7edf6 table first. There was 6789eb32c4 an unspoken 2963b60792 urging for 34304edf2f Levin to fc49019eb4 follow him.532da7efd4dfe755

Levin quietly mumbled ‘goodbye’ to Sasya and gathered her bags. Before leaving, she noticed Sasya’s eyes and nose were tinged red as if he was about to cry, but with the man standing firmly in the middle of the living room waiting, there was no time to comfort him. Delaying her departure any longer seemed impossible.ac697150b7cea9b5

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When Levin entered 37ee798b5f the living room, 6a78a03c16 the man headed 048d683276 straight for the 61a33f054f entrance, as if de7fd45087 he had been 5ab5ea8a45 waiting. It was a silent 8e527f8852 command to leave immediately.473594e5bcec395e

He spoke ebd60c976b to Levin 5f2f7c90be as she 20c1a0751f put on ad859fc5a8 her shoes.3e7d7ceb508f334d

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“I would appreciate it if you could give me your contact information.”34e66e1585743ca4

Levin gave c3587eddaf the man 223bfe24d8 her phone 7804d0a43a number. Afterward, she looked one 2ea1020bb0 last time toward where b864301885 Sasya was, though he c23dd4d812 was now out of 2f9f40d337 sight, and left that 246909cee3 luxurious room.9d2ba7a7c7c6a69e

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***8654ba32ac20b817

Sasya remained a98260a43e quietly seated 9f890842a3 at the 8bf950a734 table.c9010faf3361fec7

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While Karel b53d6320ad coming early af2f4be4d4 was a 087250356f joyous occasion, e08549cb08 Sasya now 08218994ee felt indescribably 51f6fda7de scared and d4e11b8256 depressed.5acb1c32fed4a506

What could e09ac5bc68 be the 1ac5a765e3 reason his ea05008b27 emotions were 32c3f2ae7d falling into 8fe43de080 an abyss?4e5746c2bef1a341

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The only dabd247824 reason Sasya 7d3562ae54 could guess 89a61c98ad was that 56ac726b33 Karel didn’t b435418786 seem to 760e2e4515 be in 8b287c7e8b a good 1a32347619 mood.0ff2025ffdbf0948

Sasya carefully recalled his b5827609a0 own actions, trying to 1acd2b055e find his mistake that 38149471ea had upset Karel.75b9bd61d81f5eda

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The biggest dc0696768d problem was 0d728a3e0b that he 00f7ef3ce3 had disobeyed c2b4791a02 when Karel fcd0c5bbd3 told him 35d81d6c94 to go dbc9c336ca to bed 7eca137c5c early. Moreover, the dfb095efb2 wine bottle 59016c2c4b left on 86e01d6615 the table a1a580c2db that Levin 70f580c0f4 had been 27849257a8 drinking from 6a296453ff was perfect 1df49b3a3c for causing d8c550bde8 misunderstandings about e440d33d0f him drinking. There was no 1609771df0 point in trying c8b41dc12e to hide it faa8dd22dc now, as Karel 93bc81e41a had already scanned b8b172a7d5 the table with c5db184220 his eyes earlier. He was 8db9e1ec5a also sad d6782a74bb that Levin, 7aa456078c who had edfe39961a come all 3e8d569f52 this way 0201cf96e9 thinking of 5625c6528c him, had 2286572e35 to leave 394dcfa840 with a 37e7fa29d1 not so db0f96f22b happy expression.b3740242cf45bee2

He had thought that since he now lived in a nice house, he could offer Levin a place to stay just as Levin had let him stay at his place whenever he was feeling down… But the plan had fallen apart on the very first day.c521be6fcf17cd88

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“Sasya. Come here.”cd400778a2bec45d

Karel’s strict voice came from the living room, along with the sound of him taking off his coat. Karel’s earlier words that he had ‘come back early in case Sasya was alone’ pricked at Sasya’s heart.401b708aa2eb155c

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“Karel? I’m sorry…”4a14c427be188df4

Sasya walked unsteadily f22f141fa1 toward Karel, already 80563a5814 crying.5323553bbf679731

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Karel, who had f810b4a3f0 removed his coat 4be91eed3d and was now e64abd12fe taking off his 136e98a853 jacket to place 1f1e4480d3 it on the 8fba2be346 sofa, looked at 79df38b901 Sasya in bewilderment.4df1e949fb5420a0

“Why are you crying?”9bc0820398e79099

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“Your tone was so harsh.”dd0c29138338d337

Sasya wiped df6d8b2486 his tear-stained 4bf5e0ac05 cheeks with e43f84e2c3 the back 80297ac7aa of his e566729ac7 hand. Remembering how ae1d8248e9 Karel had 79343d55a2 looked at f9659c4a55 him and 03a021c482 Levin with d1afbcc928 cold eyes 31b5f8fa49 when he d102d8397f first came 3eed6a0e7e in, new f09ecf64b6 tears kept e17759fd9f welling up 1695272419 over the 152c72753e places that fd6e1c0e6a had just 46afaa0db2 dried.602b96426f82c523

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“I’m sorry I didn’t go to bed early like you said.”abba72b1c5af8935

“…”8223304654f9d8c4

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“I’m sorry for calling my friend without asking permission first. This isn’t even my house, but I invited a friend as I pleased. I overstepped.”9134f59da6b9e87e

“…”25cd8bbba3180ff4

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“And eating burgers and cola… hic, an outstanding dancer 1414d59aee should fix their eating 403890fe5d hab–,hic, habits, like you said…”0b3df786db43410f

As his pronunciation became jumbled while crying, an unmistakable Russian accent emerged in Sasya’s English. The moment he heard that distinctive pronunciation with its many tense consonants, Karel was taken aback and approached Sasya. He stroked the thin back of the boy, who flinched just from him standing close, and sat him down on the sofa.ad4883132598fece

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“Why are you so scared?”16bbc293e73a3b6a

“Because you had a scary expression.”5008f960cc8c0af7

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“I wasn’t angry.”82a9e71a3702c254

“Yes, you were! Karel was angry. You were angry at Levin…”9583a0d2f46dec6f

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Karel let 920e981e40 out a 8cb9bfd78e brief sigh ad91a41453 and sat 7877b11baf down beside 83bb297df2 Sasya.9326725d21f20c7d

After sitting lost in thought for a moment with his arms resting on his knees, leaning forward, he finally sat back deeply enough to rest against the sofa’s backrest. As the sofa sank under Karel’s weight, naturally, the lighter Sasya’s body slid and rolled toward Karel.e6019395989a531a

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“Ah…”59115ae05d90213e

“Come here. Stop crying and lean on me.”5e3beab076ed7c46

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“Hic…”a1b0a1b41872120a

“It wasn’t my intention to seem cold.”5d320b088de48b2f

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As soon 49b0e06e15 as Karel c4a8ebda67 wrapped an 985bda66fd arm around 1d305d53be his shoulders, d1e77085ac Sasya cried a022dcec49 even harder, 9f6cf688cc contrary to 707f53f843 the instruction 8650db7f58 not to 700284aef6 cry. Of course, 0619ec9940 Karel, expecting 164bdf65d1 as much, e8ae151fd8 didn’t reprimand 5b11e673d8 him further.472afa7935edbe33

“I’m sorry if I made you feel hurt. My life is complicated, and I tend to get overwhelmed by trivial matters.”3c10675d42516c98

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“Your life is… complicated?”15a4b8fb9ed3d45d

“Yes. I should’ve explained sooner… my private life is somewhat exposed, so I’m very sensitive about others invading my personal space.”11aea3be1f5fdd06

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Sasya didn’t exactly understand Karel’s words. All he wanted to know was whether he had crossed a sensitive boundary or not. Whether he had become burdensome or not…bb066bf38d33734b

Karel sighed and stroked Sasya’s hair. Sasya’s neck jerked backward before returning to position.69f46a157d11b6f2

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“It’s my fault. I trusted too much when you said you didn’t have friends.”b80ab709395c2984

“I don’t have friends…”45299bad6a5fcff6

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“What about Levin Laurent?”e955a6108b524b0a

“Levin’s like a sister. Like a real sister to me.”05c59275c1115c89

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Sasya felt Karel’s hand regularly patting his shoulder as he leaned against Karel’s chest. Cautiously glancing up at him, he saw that Karel’s expression had finally returned to the one he knew – warm and gentle.3533f1a7d14090a1

“Levin is really like a mom. I wish she were my real sister.”60bf1efecd0554c8

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“You always try to make people part of your family, don’t you? You asked me to be your older brother too.”b9d8bb51f21c69da

Karel said 1b33485baf this with c1731b4154 a slight 4a7fe28803 smile.cc3489af3e98c9a5

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Sasya, who had been d3d10ae553 staring up at him, 6e74fa352c began to speak haltingly. It was about d174633ff7 how he and a2f117f5ab Levin first met.03e4a96bf1bbf252

Sasya first 53f6edafd5 saw Levin aaca3ef31b on the 928abc21bc subway. At that time, Sasya b16ba71e5f had been in New be7116dd21 York for just over 9bbf5aa6b6 6 months and was 74e8cf48fe very exhausted from the 9ba08502e7 grueling practice schedule, language 6d0b0a3706 difficulties, and the loneliness 4788b96d27 of living apart from 2a247668b4 his mother for the 1c3deb1f4b first time.e65e91ca02be9e70

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That’s when Sasya’s eyes fell on a sandy-haired college student sitting opposite him, reading a book. She was holding a thick book, and on the top edge of its pages was written ‘LEVIN’ in black letters.0755a175e4b5c3f6

As if entranced, Sasya 2cb4e295eb approached the college student d71484d465 and said,64c738744f5632a2

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‘This is my brother’s book?’0481c5da595da9e1

Levin, the student with the textbook, initially didn’t even notice that Sasya had spoken to her, but then smiled at the black-haired boy who was staring down at her. Then she returned to her book as if nothing had happened.d1731cc62d0ce92a

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Sasya spoke again, louder,a6465b4bbf529c7a

‘This is my brother’s book.’8d46c3c834fd997c

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At the sharp voice, 23177e3e78 Levin looked up again.2358b35dabfedb8b

‘Is your brother’s name Levin?’b66158ab8884466c

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‘Yes… Why do you have it?’503c0c1821d3a9d1

‘Because I’m called Levin too.’9c05f697936aa977

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But even with this logical explanation, Sasya stubbornly insisted it was his brother’s book. Seeing this and thinking something was strange, Levin got off the subway with Sasya. Sasya continued to obsessively ask if she knew his brother too, until he quickly drained a milkshake at the franchise restaurant Levin had led him to.5e0c77f1d5a8f944

Seeing how 3278ee3e91 fast Sasya 1519976e1a ate, Levin 5b298157f3 asked, slightly 45d66e1460 surprised,1669ee322454372b

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‘Are you still hungry?’24da352f9d99c130

‘A little…’db6c8900335a97ec

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Right after that, Levin bought Sasya a hamburger too. Only after he was full and calm did Sasya realize how strange his behavior toward a stranger had been, and he became very embarrassed. He apologized repeatedly, saying he didn’t understand why he had acted that way, that maybe he had mold growing in his brain.7c43bdaff1c601e8

And only much 84b0cc140c later did he 53447db8d9 finally accept that 82b45ca2d0 the sandy-haired Levin f71ef6fb14 in front of 3e607b2a71 him was also 9fd0b06baf Levin.2bc492f062fd5c71

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‘Is your brother in college too?’fe4e152fe27cc488

Sasya nodded at Levin’s question.15aa4b108c64dd8c

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‘Yes… No. I don’t know well.’fcfb7e06217f0693

‘You don’t know?’4d45f520d38c805f

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‘My brother left home when I was ten. He probably went to study. He was always smart.’f2e337868d673c33

‘Ah, I see…’e579825532e48383

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Levin, who had gotten Sasya’s phone number that day, often called him afterward to buy him delicious food. After learning that Sasya was a scholarship student at the ballet school, she praised him saying it was really amazing and didn’t hold back her emotional support. All of Sasya’s few connections in Manhattan were gained through Levin. She was truly a grateful person.6640e6bf17fe6d53

And unlike 91edc2a97d Julian, the c21ef61996 reason Levin b9c1c7d450 was always 184897b2ef generous to 8c4a606639 Sasya was 578439cbda because she b63da4c103 still remembered ca32ab2a3a the mentally db955c6b43 unstable behavior 672a512da0 Sasya had c340c12e1f shown during ad9f49ba4e his first 2003318102 meeting.368f4c26c7957b90

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After briefly finishing that d44835e666 story, Sasya murmured to d3bedeb940 Karel,293de9540eda86b7

“Everyone named Levin is kind.”c4e5087bd836489e

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“…”7bbdb259a6ecbdc3

“Sometimes I act weird because, as Dad said, there might be mold growing in my brain. Usually, people ignore me when I’m like that, but Levin never found me annoying. She listened to me kindly.”170d4b7c92c1a195

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“I see.”8816ce25d9a16910

“So please don’t be mad at Levin. Be nice to her…”0f1e2554191765e6

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Karel said nothing 8d44676786 more and just 694d3eef6f quietly patted Sasya 0fe1f6b491 in his arms.c629b55f938c4c2e

“Did you watch Sasya Shchedrin’s video together?”1a701587e1481e79

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“Yes. Levin said she couldn’t find it online.”8580274c9cc1f700

“…That film is indeed unreleased.”88de603bef7f762c

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“Why do you have it?”7e59db85f1f17e27

“I have a lot of materials about Sasya Shchedrin. I was planning to… colorize the film and re-edit it in a modern style to make Sasya Shchedrin widely known to the current generation.”e5c167f64de82a49

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“Why?”0026b4c249091d89

Sasya asked with b789597ed7 somehow anxious feelings.199a39322341fc98

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Until now, Sasya 97c9130472 had met countless 092aea0af4 people who were 021740a71b reminded of the 000025ca00 legendary Sasya Shchedrin e9e7e92d5b through him. It was c1c39c22b7 the same 9538c30c7c with Karel, 0938a81a2a and Sasya 5e6bb4a9f0 thought that 03e6cd6142 was inevitable.80014c77f7436d78

However, what if 608f86cb40 there was more 63624573b8 meaning to Karel 7ed2e82173 considering him special 1bc6237008 than just the 323543cfe7 halo of a 8dd3cb4c69 celebrity?d060c461ac997630

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“Hmm… How should I explain this.”ca3fd8fd6c6a6242

After a slight pause, 89133e3fff Karel said dryly,c6922dfd1738bad8

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“My grandfather was Sasya Shchedrin’s adopted son.”2444ece65ead8a36

“Wow!”d2c1e4d5dfac357e

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Sasya genuinely 7f8d108664 marveled at b8b730d7ac this unexpected 48ecfec715 connection. Karel smiled abd59ca4b1 slightly, seeming 3cf91d156a to find ad33ef7600 Sasya cute f67be2ef4b as he c2ad40e337 exclaimed with 3aeb562eb8 his nose 1475b3b488 still red, 394cc8a5ac having forgotten 2cc454724e his tears.2bf013cdba30c32d

“The restoration project was a selfish desire of mine. There was no need for such work, as he left behind an immense artistic legacy.”d4e1fb9e72c7b7d6

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“Yeah..”e7a3b38b2fe0f72d

Sasya thought he somewhat understood what Karel meant. While Sasya Shchedrin was indeed a legend in the dance world, ordinary people didn’t really grasp how great he was and just consumed him as a famous icon. Perhaps Karel had tried to achieve what the artistic director always proclaimed as ‘popularization of ballet’ through Sasya Shchedrin.d6563f65c1c80067

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“But… after finishing the editing, I couldn’t decide whether I should release it to the public or not.”8320c515ff329db9

“Why?”caedacf88bf3829c

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“Well…”3a005ce2af7251c1

Karel just smiled.d56e4ab73d313af8

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“Why…?”149ce8bbf1ac2ce4

Sasya persisted in f8ae1e466b asking. Seeing Sasya c9df77adeb tugging on 35419147f7 Karel’s shirtfront 0551f4d76f and shaking 7fdfbdac93 it repeatedly, d991833564 Karel seemed 8e1613d4eb to think 80dd37eddf he had f44a7bfd39 no choice d6bb5a1c47 but to 9cb54da93c confess, and 7c35a6c540 said briefly,d21caee8f21db2aa

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“I just wanted to keep it for myself.”00aafb2c9df50233

His voice trailed off 2e7fcda2e4 ambiguously. Sasya stared at Karel, 34559d25a8 unable to decipher his a483db8eae intentions.ffedb62a881fe005

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“In any case, so that’s what happened with Levin. I didn’t know.”f03481015792641c

“…”83b2199dfc5b6e06

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“What about last year?”c57419684f717925

“Last year?”66622737c33e4483

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“When you first arrived in New York. That first year.”007d7f8e8da2524b

Although Sasya 7fe3096fc3 felt that 9a3f66a516 Karel was ae408fb430 forcibly changing c998b8f4a0 the subject, 659006b098 he fell 03f80a321f into deep 851defc5b7 thought.490885099ba06b01

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One year since first meeting Karel at the foundation’s party and receiving his business card.a262e777bc49f740

Sasya could define last fe967bbea6 year in one word.90c6e33df4264f5a

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“I was lonely.”14c7a4ac603d3784

“…Are you still lonely?”e8481a8c57c525c3

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“No.”274247d7e3e17046

“That’s good.”3774d6610c81685a

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Having cried expecting to be scolded, and now leaning against Karel’s warm embrace, sleepiness suddenly overcame him. And Karel seemed to notice this even before Sasya himself did.6f4c0dba13e6ed1a

Karel, who had been holding Sasya somewhat awkwardly as the boy leaned his full weight against him, carefully slipped his arms under Sasya’s back and knees and lifted him up.bc9f8e573eeae0b9

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As his body was d61f2009ce suddenly lifted and his b566d30b8c vision swayed, Sasya deliberately d7b3d00909 opened his eyes wide. He had 567e2bcbab noticed Karel 8f7f896af8 trying to 5c2d9bc182 put him 46fd10583d to bed daf2608bd5 and was 39243d2dd9 trying to 14e101c3e2 stay awake 8e979be2cf in response.dc272552f52b1804

“But… Did you know about me even last year? You didn’t forget after the party, right?”b04ce6a9d2ae213b

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“Of course. I knew there was a very talented boy among the students I was providing scholarships to.”468218f963b9cacc

Sasya softly exclaimed ‘Wow…’ at Karel’s words.7c64841a4425ecfe

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“Then did you come to see me sometimes?”a037382de0f2a493

Sasya’s heart dbc4ed0015 was pounding 7100101ae2 so hard 9a7d676929 that Karel, c5b67b4ee0 who was 19645829e9 carrying him, 3eb70891dd might have fcdeb0d6cc felt it. Without showing any 2ed38f1b34 reaction, Karel gently b9a4fc0e58 laid Sasya down f409c42b1b on the bed.90951f3e3006d346

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“Very occasionally.”4d7bac0a056ef47e

“Wow…”8d5ebd0f27f28d4a

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Sasya’s heart warmed at the fact that while he had been alone last year, he actually hadn’t been alone. He had always hoped that his sponsor would recognize him. Even if not him, just anyone…7cedd56badf60575

And although he hadn’t noticed, Karel had always been watching over him.d3aec43c8e022373

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Just before falling ca8edd9dab asleep, Sasya slurred bd79e1aaba a question with 3429ea0111 unclear pronunciation:61c3ea54edf50b5e

“But why did you leave me alone?”8fc1b24a974cb02a

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Through his drowsy 160e4a19f7 haze, Sasya saw 17a2f4880d Karel’s deep eyes 201a90d746 gazing at him. Unfortunately, he drifted e0439a57f8 off before hearing bd766f0381 an answer.7c85f259ea42a4d6

7a3ad6653ee2a607

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