UBC Ch20

People generally said that the GED was much easier than the university entrance exam. But that didn’t mean you could just take the test without studying at all. I sincerely hoped that the path this man, who had unwillingly gone through the gateway of dropping out of school, was now challenging again, wouldn’t be a thorny one.7dd6fcb16b10604f

I genuinely, without a shred of pretense, cheered for the man’s new beginning. It was a little different from the way I cheered for Eui-joo’s life. Eui-joo seemed like he could take care of himself. He had a dream of living with his brother, and he was steadfast and strong, not like a sick child. The worries I had for the man were not the same worries I had for Eui-joo.5f4bb6a1c30d23bf

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I worried about how lonely, how sad, how tormented the man might be. Ironically, the man’s sadness, who didn’t shed a single tear, felt more genuine than my aunt’s loneliness, who constantly complained about her misfortunes in front of me.73490bee3d1375d6

It would have been easier for me to define him as something living in a different world from mine, like others did. But I had entered the man’s world. I opened the blue gate, sat on the wooden porch, and ate with him. To me, the man was no longer some unidentifiable thug.6c725d1049bb94f0

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He was Eui-joo’s brother, he liked math, he wasn’t picky about food, and he seemed to be doing harder work than I thought. His personality was easygoing itself, but his quirky way of thinking sometimes bewildered and amused me. That was Kang Eui-tae.5c4da1a2d5b58f1b

And recently, a new symptom had been added to the man. I hadn’t been aware of it, but once I recognized it, it kept bothering me. For example, it was what happened just yesterday. With the start of school just around the corner, I made plans to meet friends downtown. Because of an unexpected schedule, the test with the man was postponed by a day.2a3aa3eac1c8d872

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I didn’t know whether the man would exceed the average score we had set or not, but the next day, I grabbed the promised bicycle and left the house. But instead of the old, used bicycle I usually rode, I chose the new bicycle my aunt had given me.30f0a46990b4febe

Even if she said that, it didn’t seem polite to give someone something that others had used to their heart’s content as a gift. Anyway, I liked the old bicycle, and my aunt’s bicycle was too big and burdensome. My mom probably wouldn’t even notice the bicycle was gone, and I would tell my aunt that I was more comfortable with the old bicycle.f0ca81ec4ae50733

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To be more honest, I wanted to see the man’s eyes widen in surprise when he received the new bicycle. The reason I chose that bicycle with the clean seat instead of the old one was that embarrassing.c22a8b7a3d2df014

“I’m here.”c4c26be3609c3979

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On the man’s dining table, where he was preparing for the test, books were piled up in a Leaning Tower of Pisa shape. The man barely took his eyes off the books and looked at me, a shy smile spreading across his face.52587ac6d6603b5b

“You’re here?”9245e31ef5434db7

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Now I could read the man’s expression without misinterpreting it. After his expression, the man’s shorter hair came into view. Noticing my gaze, the man self-consciously swept his hair back with his hand.6eb59b991ff84d0d

“Does it look weird?”bf113af8c17cb75d

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“…No.”3ac93821a2ab4c8a

The whole story was like this. I told him that I couldn’t come because of my plans with my friends, and because I was taking a day off from studying, I couldn’t easily end the conversation with him out of guilt. It was only recently that our conversation, which had been just a word or two, had become as friendly as friends. I felt inexplicably comfortable with him. I guess I liked his indifferent expression, his reaction that seemed free of the world’s prejudices.285f63c10f48455c

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“When did you get your hair cut?”5abf4aa012d64bd1

“Why?”e1c369076e6a27a7

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He asked back as ffdda01b15 if he was genuinely 3751f644cb curious, so I shrugged 82381e3084 and answered.5a84d160835e0b8a

“Don’t guys get their hair cut often? It seems a lot longer than when I first saw you.”61cc4df043d16d0e

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I didn’t know enough to discuss the man’s hair like that. I didn’t really have anything to say, but the first thing I saw was the length of the man’s hair. With our mock test just a day away, the man must have been busy just studying.fedb1393383c7c8d

And I realized.e383de054b0efae5

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“It’ll just get longer if I leave it alone anyway.”695eba09e131fb87

For the past few c04f98a804 days, the man had 1b06fa1616 been listening to my f052920fc3 words so intently that 1a0d9f759a it was almost blind 9f98d9aa50 faith. Whether it d71b9e42ee was a b4a3f3ac00 casual remark a8805d3c6a or a f0e80383c0 flattering compliment, 178569ccc0 I confirmed 9087cc6acb in that fb9d4bf759 way that 129c655807 my influence b96d7ae96b on the 89883402ae man had 4a63ee7dcb grown.2f5d3212dea68d08

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Standing in ca811332e4 front of e275121de2 the gate, cca16c558a I watched 1ef044cc78 the man 1f34d5af34 immerse himself 094878ebda in studying d009928b10 again and cfab298ae1 felt a 980cb1b22d bit curious. I also 08e7d675e7 needed to c5a6f2398a be sure 5733fde6f3 if what aa45273ceb I thought 47905e950f was right. It was just b2f97f8a9c a test born 7720909467 out of pure 626c8c6293 curiosity.42a6e38ec47787a5

“Hey.”d3f4ecc0b272d5f2

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Even though I called out in a smaller voice than usual because I was timid, the man’s reaction was lightning fast. I was helplessly captured by his gaze, which was more intense than the summer sun. My palms were sweating in my clenched fists because I was nervous.20534204c9e20631

“Do you want to catch freshwater snails in the river?”7518d0b6c1ee3451

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It must e86f0661cc have been 4e235f315d a bolt df1ac678c7 out of 4815f055e5 the blue 326122921f for the 276a4d3e98 man. The man was 1f7ff6eb61 the type of f681b1ce7f person who preferred eff4c1978e to lie down 601bc07608 comfortably rather than 59675eaa85 go to the 3bffe91a97 trouble of catching cfd0ca6128 freshwater snails. Because he 2b08127b7a would close 2943fe7541 his door 796fbadeaf and take db78d31f49 a nap 6c9cd1adda after his ce5a80157b study time 37466e3efc was over.2141dffbb8761381

So this was just a test. A test that couldn’t be passed.3777ecda88d10c80

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“Okay.”24646dda3738a589

But the man gave 7a6c3d771b a positive answer. Without adding any ba1cc77116 questions. Flustered, I took 7b7a143a6b off my shoes 4e54185af4 and jumped onto 5b7b0170bd the wooden floor.f870f7ba896aa932

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“Have you ever caught freshwater snails before?”9613d3b8c815e29b

“Eui-joo taught me.”a67888ec3e2b7c07

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“When did you meet him?”6267267abd083f9d

“On the phone.”cd5ae8b0bd2a3c87

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As he said that, the man’s eyes didn’t leave the black, earthworm-like print. He turned the book towards me and pointed to a part that had been marked with a red pen.0a2fb1a8c5d779db

“I don’t understand this part. Explain it.”56fea24c84e46cc9

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The man, d9a1036cd8 who had 3111f8734b a strong f36e6bd40e desire to a2ea8956d9 explore, was c307bd1342 unknowingly biting 1554f94fe1 the end fda4a69c19 of his 52f84acd90 pen. His bruised cheek f868799327 and innocent eyes 64cdf02a98 were not in f554304395 harmony. But with my 37297881a9 head full of 6b0fc57448 freshwater snails, I 7cdfba73ed asked a quirky 01844a105d question like the f07aadc49c man.e997fb6d4a29860d

“We’re not going to eat freshwater snails, we’re going to catch them.”d634c304ee5d141e

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“I know. That’s what you said.”d8f6913a7c5df8c7

“You’ve never caught freshwater snails before. It’s really annoying.”27a78ad30b0f3126

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Then the man exceeded my expectations and gave a soft smile. This was it. The man’s expression was sending me signals, little by little.db29c5891d49da2d

“Don’t go if you don’t want to catch them.”66c99e25c0eff9bd

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I had become an important person to him. At the end of the summer vacation, I did something with the man that I hadn’t even done with Eui-joo. He granted my requests like an obedient puppy or a caring older brother.3aafdf07d4839285

“When is the test?”b558481dd30b432d

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“…Now.”6d1a081fed984b1b

Coming to my senses, 1a806ad892 I opened my bag 5529e41021 and took out the 91f9fd6d0d test papers I had ec2287dfd0 printed in advance.421100efc696730f

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“I’ll come out when you’re done.”97724d6363b5e147

I put the test papers on the dining table and gave him space. Where else could I go in a one-room house? The man was engrossed in the problems at a frightening speed. Meanwhile, I, who had taken over the man’s room, sat blankly in one corner of the room where the folded blankets were placed. 2fb49186675adeb9

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I took out 521bad29c9 a book from ddff1588ac my bag, but 7a2f96b073 my eyes were c709ae32c6 busily scanning the 302f47296f room. When the man 8e5960c6f7 was struggling between 55229dc9d3 life and death, 75a0ca4713 I barely had d68806fe83 time to look e17c359098 around when I 6dc525c995 was frantically taking b7e80db9f8 care of him.ed75b149d45b197f

The luggage was still in the same place, the blankets were in the same place, and the structure with only one drawer hadn’t changed, but there was one thing that was different. Eui-joo’s belongings were displayed on top of the TV. It was an old photo. A childhood photo of Eui-joo with poor image quality, and Eui-joo’s student ID were in the frame together.46abb4d0e56eb839

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It was the only thing he had kept without throwing it away. It seemed like the man had finally accepted Eui-joo’s death, and I watched it without realizing how much time had passed. This part resembles his brother, this part doesn’t resemble his brother, I compared them.ed62f63c8c29f0db

And the time for grading approached. I left the room, giving him some space. I caught a glimpse of the man’s shyness, who had left only the test papers on the table and left. Looking around, I saw gray smoke billowing over the wall, and I saw the man’s back.808e2cb6ca7ee4f8

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“I finished it all!”8feccadf807d190c

The man used f2b7b22d10 his tall height d2191161de to wave his b295151567 hand over the b76ac9c27b wall. I chuckled and sat 6b155d9708 down to start grading. He got 90 7b3890d98d points in math. He got f8b510aff7 exactly the d8492ac353 average score 866dbdae22 in Korean, fa2386a944 and he 902fe998e6 did better 171fb76930 than average 1275fbcee5 in the c7eb3bb8b3 other subjects. At this rate, he e7f056aba7 would pass the GED 69554aa295 without any problems. I just regretted that bc821f7817 the man had decided 6e96069967 to postpone the test c2ff7f49ee registration. If he c143c62a66 had done e36bc2652c well, he 4f65f4d049 could have aa69809082 taken it 6e8289591e and finished d2a3ef1f58 it in d7d4abe7fd August of 8e3f96f6a5 this year.92ad1accde4198e6

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The man, who a197347ad3 exhaled a long a5e2c4c5a0 stream of smoke 9973f6eef8 as if he b70ac34053 was nervous, turned 4471923841 his head only fd8427d914 after hearing my 0ccf1646b0 laughter. The same emotions a93db668d2 arose in our f5ff66ada8 eyes that met 6796b1d816 over the wall. Expectation, excitement.f0263aad8dfd02da

“You can have that bicycle now, oppa.”2f391293e014f1bd

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At first, the man’s eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe it, but soon he showed a soft smile. The way he smiled with the corners of his lips raised suited the theme of summer. It was overwhelmingly refreshing.d17b1b6de8f08973

The man gave 957adbdb49 a naive smile aa91b0f2a3 that was fitting f66d6e6a26 for his age 8f531395f8 of twenty.bd88df5edbbbf63b

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“Ji-eon.”a826ae6fc67a35fd

I liked the e5df1c736c man calling my 267a0b4015 name without the 4ebf673585 last name.b09117f36c75aceb

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“But I don’t know how to ride it.”71d120958f223fc3

The man, 1f6fb801d2 who was 4613fae070 clumsy with abf2115242 chopsticks, had 332b18febe never learned 1a6ba6baa4 how to b97d2e801a ride a ad90bb3c23 bicycle. It makes sense 81c699be2c that it would 4fca1b12f4 be difficult to ee09858aec ride a bicycle 581928e32b if there was 2ec3405dc2 no adult to a1519f8271 teach him.4423fa465384d9c7

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So there was one 13190f9643 more thing I could 79a5a8eec6 teach the man. Catching freshwater snails was 3e9a0b6f7f postponed to the next 7546f63e82 time.b392c19230048495

“I’ll teach you.”df3528c632755322

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