WBWB | Chapter 13

What difference was there between that and death?

‘I’ve lost everything.’

On days when I missed my loved ones terribly, I cried.

‘I’ve lost everything. What’s the point of living like this?’

I soaked my pillow with tears, wondering what reason I had to live here. I couldn’t figure it out, not yet.

After such nights, when the sun rose, I would wake up with swollen eyes and run a few more laps than the Duke had ordered. I didn’t know why, but the pain lessened after running.

So, gradually, I came to enjoy running. 

Because while running, I could forget everything.

* * * 

As autumn deepened, Baldr de Skadi began to see the woman in a new light.

‘How many days will she last?’

At first, he thought a week at most. A woman from a lazy noble family wouldn’t be able to wake up at dawn or participate in training. But Jeanne continued to appear even after a week. 

The soldiers, initially surprised and curious whenever she appeared, gradually came to see her, briefly running behind them before disappearing, as part of the scenery.

But Baldr couldn’t. She didn’t feel like a part of the scenery at all, and strangely, his gaze kept being drawn to her. 

Every time he passed her, he saw her flushed face, gasping for breath, but Jeanne never stopped until she completed her three laps. Even when she was dragging her feet and walking, she always finished the required number of laps and disappeared.

‘She’s frail, but she has more tenacity than I expected.’

Even on days when the weather was bad, Baldr didn’t send a servant to tell her not to come. He wanted to see what she would do.

Jeanne came out even on those days. And as the days went by, she became better at running. Dressed in her shabby maid’s clothes, she sometimes ran more laps than he had ordered. On those days, her oval face was slightly swollen, and her large, beautiful eyes were red, as if she had been crying.

Then, one day, he finally realized that Jeanne could now run at the same pace as his personal soldiers. She might not have known it, but Baldr had been observing her progress. He was secretly impressed but didn’t show it outwardly.

‘Unlike a noblewoman from Franc.’

Perhaps he had been prejudiced. Simply because she was a noble from the capital.

‘Was her name Jeanne de Toulouse?’

Finally, Baldr’s first impression of Jeanne changed. 

Without him realizing it.

* * * 

After lunch, having finished preparing for the next day’s lessons, I lay listlessly on the bed. I wasn’t sleepy, but I didn’t want to do anything.

‘…I want to go home.’

When sadness weighed down my heart like a heavy stone, there was nothing I could do. As I was letting time pass, a knock came on the door, a bit early for dinner. I opened the door to find the maid who took care of my room.

“What is it? It’s not dinner time yet.”

“His Grace has invited you to dinner.”

It felt like a bolt of lightning had struck me.

“Um… why? What for?”

“I haven’t been told the reason.”

Of course, they wouldn’t tell a maid why someone was invited to dinner. With little time left before dinner, I felt a sense of urgency. I lightly grabbed the maid’s wrist as she was about to turn away and gently pulled her toward me.

“Do you have some time?”

Although most of the clothes I received from Madame Pauline had been altered so that I could dress myself, with hooks and buttons on the sides or front, putting on a dress was still a laborious task. The dresses suitable for formal dinners, in particular, were even more complicated. I remembered the Duke’s cold, disapproving gaze at my attire.

I chose a crimson dress with a neckline that dipped low near my shoulders. The maid helped me dress and styled my hair, twisting it into an updo. I felt self-conscious with my ears and neck exposed, but I had no other jewelry. Should I have bought some, even if they were cheap? I felt sick with worry about what kind of criticism I might receive.

“You look truly beautiful, Miss.”

I smiled wryly at the maid’s compliment. Perhaps it looked that way to a girl who hadn’t seen many noblewomen. I pressed a coin into her hand.

“Thank you for your help. Please come back when it’s time for dinner.”

As I sat on the bed waiting for dinner, I suddenly remembered the pouch the escort had given me when I arrived here. It supposedly contained jewels from Young Master Mael, but I had completely forgotten about it, not even checking its contents.

‘Where did I put it?’

I found the pouch and opened it. Inside were jewels, presumably belonging to the Duchess of Ventadour.

‘This much? He must have given them to me to sell.’

I poured the contents onto the bed. There were jeweled earrings and a necklace. At least now I had something appropriate to wear to a formal dinner. I hurriedly put on the earrings and fastened the clasp of the necklace behind my neck. Then, I heard the maid’s voice.

“Dinner is ready.”

As I entered the formal dining hall, guided by the maid, I cautiously observed the Duke’s expression.

‘Is this alright?’

He glanced at me and then looked away, as if he had no interest in my attire.

‘Phew.’

That was the reaction I had hoped for.

‘Good, good.’

I had been worried about being criticized, but it seemed I had passed.

“Sit down.”

The food suited my taste better than the first time. Perhaps I have grown accustomed to the local cuisine here. Even so, I was dining with the Duke, the same person in front of whom I had vomited.

Determined not to repeat that embarrassing incident, I cut my food into small pieces and ate slowly.

“Doesn’t the food suit your taste, still?”

The Duke spoke. For a moment, I felt as if a piece of food was lodge in my throat. I bit my lip to suppress a cough.

“Not at all. I’m just being careful not to repeat my previous disgrace.”

“I see.”

The meal continued in silence. As a guest invited to a formal dinner, I should have come up with an engaging topic of conversation, but nothing came to mind. And honestly, I doubted the Duke would even want to talk to me. I could feel sweat beading on the back of my exposed neck.

‘Still, I was invited, so I should say something. Anything… I should think of the person in front of me as the Duchess of Ventadour, not a madman.’

With that thought, I was finally able to find a topic to talk about; Lady Ana’s learning progress. By then, the meal had reached the main course.

“Um, lately, Lady Ana has been…”

“You’ve become quite good at running.”

He spoke first before I was able to.

“Pardon?”

“You’ve become much better at running. But it would be good to warm up before running. Starting suddenly can shock your body and cause injuries.”

“…”

“Do you know how to warm up?”

“Y-Yes, I do.”

Actually, I didn’t.

“I see. So you warm up in the mansion before coming?”

“Yes…”

“You don’t know how to ride a horse?”

“Pardon?”

“Weren’t you on the verge of death when you arrived here? The escort said you couldn’t ride a horse properly. Isn’t horseback riding a basic skill for nobles in the middle class? Is there a reason you haven’t learned? Were you bitten by a horse before? Or did you fall off one?”

“Pardon?”

“Is ‘pardon?’ the only word you know how to say?”

“P-Pardon? No, that’s not it…”

A barrage of baffling questions rained down on me. I could barely understand the intention of the questions, let alone answer them.

“I, horseback riding… my family used to have horses, but our finances declined before I had a chance to learn properly. Since then, I’ve had opportunities to use carriages, but never to ride a horse myself… If you wish for Lady Ana to learn horseback riding, I am not the right person for the task. You should consider finding another teacher…”

“Ana already has an excellent riding instructor. So there’s no problem, then.”

He cut me off and spoke sharply.

“Problem?”

“Didn’t you just say there’s no problem with you learning to ride a horse?”

“Pardon?”

“I’ll give you one of my horses.”

“Pardon?”

“I’ll provide you with Ana’s riding instructor, so stop running and learn to ride. You’ve built up some stamina, so it should be much easier than before.”

“Me…? Ride a horse…?”

Why on earth would I need to learn that?

“I, I can’t accept such a gift!”