MM Extra Ch 1

Although swimming was a summer sport, there were some who thought otherwise. However, if Dayoung had to describe Kyuwol in terms of seasons, rather than summer, she thought he was more like winter. More specifically, early winter when the peak of autumn had just passed. Like a day when she left the house and drew in the cold air.

The winter always barged in without warning, revealing its presence with utmost certainty. She thought this was very much like Lee Kyuwol. She should have worn a muffler. She should have worn a thicker coat. But no matter how many regrets she had, that’s all they were. Regrets. The consequence of facing the winter without being prepared was catching a cold.

Dayoung felt that the athlete who had been insulted by Lee Kyuwol had also been unprepared. But even if he had been prepared, it must not have been enough.

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“He went on his knees and begged me to let him win a medal. He cried and told me he’d do anything to make it happen.”

As the knife split through the steak, a scarlet broth began to ooze out. He chewed on the large large piece of meat and smiled. His smiling face gleamed underneath the chandeliers like a black flower in bloom.

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“He was being so sincere, so it was only polite to respond in earnest. Thanks to me, didn’t he get a good result?”

Dayoung had read the article in the car and trembled with anxiety, but the subject of the article was currently talking about it so nonchalantly as if it didn’t have anything to do with him. He picked up the sloshing glass of wine and held it up.

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“I’ve been waiting to open this bottle of wine with you for one month.”

She didn’t know what to say, so she merely stared at him. Her scenario screenwriter had been sending her a string of messages for a while now, and the vibrations of the phone kept piercing her ears.

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“Shouldn’t we make a toast?”

“Kyuwol.”

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“Everyone here is only pretending to eat. They’re actually glancing at us. If we fight in a situation like this, it’ll only fuel the rumor mill.”

If he was truly a person who was concerned about gossip, he wouldn’t have chosen to eat dinner inside a hotel situated at the heart of the city on the night an exposé about him was published.

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“Yeah, it’s me. What is it?”

Dayoung ignored his mask-like face and finally answered her vibrating phone.

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— Omo, Director-nim. I saw the article and got worried, so I called you. Is everything okay?

Writer Choi said she had to modify a scenario and was currently holed up inside her house. She wouldn’t even pick up the phone when Dayoung called. Judging from how quickly she called now, Dayoung guessed that she had been doing something else other than going over the manuscript. However, Dayoung wasn’t in the right mind to be reprimanding Writer Choi right now.

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“There’s nothing to worry about. It’s all an overreaction.”

— It is, right? Ah… I peeked into the swimming community, and I think that athlete is known to be quite weak in mind and body. But even if that is the case, how can he say that Athlete Lee Kyuwol, ah, I mean, Coach Lee Kyuwol is a gaslighting psycho…

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A lot of people still called Lee Kyuwol with the title of an athlete. Since he was an athlete longer than the time he wasn’t, it was only expected.

Just as she thought… Recommending him to become a coach and mentor was the wrong move.

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Even though she hadn’t touched her steak, she felt like it was stuck inside her throat. Dayoung emptied her glass of wine in an instant. Kyuwol skillfully picked up the bottle of wine and filled her empty glass. His movements looked very relaxed, and when he propped his chin in his hand, his eyes softly gazed at her. His behavior was confident as if he thought everyone in this room believed in his innocence.

“Writer Choi. I’m with him right now. Let’s talk about this later.”

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— Ah, really? Then please make sure to tell him. That there are many people who don’t believe what that article said.

Instead of replying, Dayoung smiled bitterly. Suddenly, the phone in her hand disappeared.

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“Hello, this is Lee Kyuwol. How have you been?”

Dayoung’s eyes widened when she saw that he had snatched her phone. Kyuwol laughed and leaned back as he continued the conversation.

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“Ah… No. Not at all. What Park Sungwon said is true.”

Dayoung wrapped her hand around her feverish brow and bit the inside of her cheek. She could clearly imagine Writer Choi’s flustered face on the other end of the call. Because of the eyes on them, she couldn’t shout out or bust out of her seat and snatch her phone back. He probably chose to be in a place like this because of that exact reason.

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“So that’s why he earned the medal just like he wanted. Interview? Haha. I’ll think about it.”

“Lee Kyuwol.”

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Lee Kyuwol paid no heed to Dayoung’s warning and merely winked at her.

“If it’ll inspire someone, of course I should do it. More So if it’s for the sake of my loving Dayoung.”

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Although it didn’t fit this situation at all, after saying things that made her face flush, Lee Kyuwol finally ended the call.

“Eat. It’ll get cold.”

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Kyuwol took her untouched plate of steak and brought it over to his side before cutting it into smaller pieces. Then he held one of the pieces up to her mouth. Glad that she had ordered a hamburger steak, Dayoung did her best to chew. If she didn’t, she was 100% sure she would get indigestion.

“You’re already known as a psychotic coach. Do you want the title of ‘lover boy’ added as well?”

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“What is that?”

He chuckled as if he heard something funny and licked the fork. He was wearing a black turtleneck that Dayoung had gifted him before the shift in the weather. Although she had bought it in a ready-to-wear shop, it fit him so perfectly that it was almost annoying. It fit over his wide shoulders like a glove, and it accentuated his sculpted silhouette. Seeing this, Dayoung suddenly imagined him holding a whip in his hand. She thought it would suit him incredibly well.

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“…You didn’t hit him, right?”

She hesitated before barely managing to ask the question. He answered back immediately.

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“Of course not.”

“Ah, thank goo—…”

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“At least, not in public.”

Dayoung felt her eyelid twitch, and she slowly closed her eyes before opening them again. After winning his medal, in the immediately following interview, Park Sungwon claimed that his coach, who used to be a national swimmer himself, had committed brutalities against him. He said that he was treated like he wasn’t even an animal. Although he never blatantly said his name, there was only one coach in the country who used to be a national swimmer. There was only Lee Kyuwol.

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“Happy now?”

“…Of course not.”

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She chewed on her lips and turned on her cellphone. She finally entered the swimming community chat that she had been too afraid to check. The trending topic was ‘Lee Kyuwol gaslighting’. Once she saw it with her own two eyes, she felt like something was blocking her airways.

“Let’s get up.”

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“Sit down.”

Like a picturesque scene, Lee Kyuwol was sipping on his wine. When she stood up, he looked up at her and ordered her to sit back down. Dayoung did her best not to raise her voice and whispered to him.

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“I feel like I’m going to get indigestion if I continue to eat here with you.”

“Don’t let an insignificant bastard spoil your mood.”

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He answered in a low voice. For the first time in a while, his gray eyes held a chill. He gently grabbed Dayoung’s trembling hand and flashed her a warm smile that did not seem to match his gaze.

“Did you forget that today is our anniversary? I deliberately made reservations at the hotel restaurant where our families met for the first time.”

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Dayoung’s heart sank. She then realized that this was the same place where she had been dragged by her mother to meet her new husband and his son. The hotel had changed names and its interior had been completely remodeled, but she was still surprised that she hadn’t recognized it. It seemed to further prove how much time had passed since then.

“I heard we’re the same age. Let’s get along.”

“Haha. You really forgot about it, didn’t you? You forgot what today was.”

“…I didn’t forget.”

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At the bare minimum, Dayoung knew why they were eating out on this day. She just didn’t realize the significance of the location.

“Really? Then tell me with your own lips. I want to hear it.”

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She was afraid of the cold smile that stretched across his plaster-like face. Whenever he frightened her like this, Dayoung didn’t know what kind of expression to make. When he saw that she wasn’t able to answer him, Kyuwol stood up.

When their faces were finally eye-level, he looked into her eyes and lowered his head. She could tell that everyone’s eyes were focused on them now. Kyuwol brushed his hand across her stiff cheek and swept her hair back around her ear. Then he whispered.

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“The day after we came back home from our parents’ funeral.”

“I’m going to break you.”

“You and I weren’t able to win against our dirty lust, and we ripped and stomped on our mourning clothes as we tangled together like beasts. It was our first day.”

As if flames were coming out of his fingertips, she felt like her skin was being burned into crisp.

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* * *

Beep, beep.

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The door to the room opened. Before the door even closed, Kyuwol pressed his lips onto hers. Dayoung gasped as she was pushed back against the wall in an instant. Her feet stumbled in her dizzyingly tall high heels, and she lost her balance. If she had known she would end up like this, she would not have worn these shoes.

“You’re wearing the high heels I bought you.”

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Instead of telling him that she felt like her ankles were going to shatter, Dayoung avoided his gaze.

“It looks good on you.”

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As he whispered, she suddenly got a whiff of his cologne mixed in with his unique scent. Bergamot, ginger, musk. Whenever she smelled these notes mixed with the faint smell of chlorine from the swimming pool, her body automatically began to tremble.

“Why are you being like this?”

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“What do you mean?”

Kyuwol slipped his hand underneath her skirt and began to pull down her underwear. He nibbled on the shell of her ear. Dayoung grasped her clothes in denial and whispered.

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“Why are you in such a hurry?”

“When I look at your expression, I can’t help it.”

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Dayoung looked at her reflection in the mirror that was hanging on the wall near the entrance of the large room. Her face did not seem bright by any means. Her expression was actually closer to terror.

Of course, after their long time together as a couple, Dayoung was no longer shaken like before whenever he lifted the pages of their cruel and dark history. Instead, a morsel of anxiety that she had forgotten would suddenly pop out from time to time. Dayoung had always been easily frightened, even from a young age.

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“I haven’t seen those eyes in a long time.”

His unique voice he never raised in any situation gently flowed into her ear like the winter wind. She clenched her hand around Kyuwol’s arm and lifted her head to meet his eyes.

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“What kind of eyes am I making?”

“Eyes that can’t seem to understand me.”

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 His gray eyes gleamed with a blue tint as he gazed at her. His fingers were so beautiful that it was almost hard to believe that he was an athlete. Those fingers now gently drew a line up her face.

“Eyes that are scared.”

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His fingers opened up like the petals of a blooming flower and slowly grasped the side of her face.

“Eyes that want to run away…?”

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His lips stretched into a crooked smile. Dayoung saw this and slammed her fists down against his chest. Kyuwol read anxiety in her eyes, but he had definitely misunderstood the root of the emotion. His cellphone inside the coat that he had thrown onto the floor began to vibrate. That made her nervous, too.

“Answer your phone.”

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“If I answer the phone right now, I feel like I’ll kill the person who called.”

“Lee Kyuwol!”

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After she yelled at him, she pulled out his ringing phone from inside his coat pocket. The neverending vibrations were from a string of text messages. A new message window popped up on the screen of the phone.

「I’m going to kill you, you psycho demon son of a bitch.」

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The sender was Park Sungwon. The moment she saw his name, her eyes froze. A murderous aura seemed to emanate from the short message. Kyuwol took his phone from her trembling hands and snorted. Then he pressed the ‘Call’ button.

“Kyuwol!”

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She grabbed onto him in shock, but Kyuwol didn’t seem to care as he turned on the phone’s speaker.

“Do you wanna bet? If this bastard answers my call, I’ll do anything you ask me to do.”

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“Don’t be like this.”

“Why not? I think it’ll be fun.”

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His eyes gleamed with excitement.

“If you ask me to apologize, I’ll go on my knees and apologize to all the citizens of Korea. If you want me to explain what happened, I’ll even lie with tears in my eyes.”

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His phone continued to ring as no one answered it on the other end.

“In return, if this bastard doesn’t answer the phone, you won’t sleep tonight, Dayoung.”

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Despite his bloodthirsty message, Park Sungwon did not answer the call. When the call went to voicemail, Kyuwol clicked his tongue with annoyance and tried calling again. His gentle voice grew more and more agitated.

“I’m sure he felt wronged once he got his medal. I’m sure he felt like he got the medal all by himself. And the memories of everything I did to him overcame him like a tsunami, and he probably wanted to kill me. Even though the one he truly wants to kill is himself, he’s too much of a coward to go through with it, so he’s redirecting those emotions to someone else. He’s just another typical defeatist.”

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“…I understand. That’s enough.”

She turned her head away with mixed feelings. When Kyuwol’s third call went over to voicemail, he ended the call.

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“I don’t know why I have to do such ridiculous things all because of a punk who’s too scared to talk to me.”

Dayoung didn’t have the energy to continue quarreling with him. After taking off her heels, she walked across the room and plopped down on the bed. Kyuwol had reserved this hotel room for their date, and the scenery from the window was magnificent. She could see him slowly approaching her through the reflection on the window. He embraced her from behind before placing his chin on her shoulder. Then he whispered in her ear.

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“He said he wanted to win a medal so much that he could die, so I made it happen. It was also my job.”

The faint trace of madness had completely disappeared, and his voice had returned to its gentle tone.

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“And you didn’t expect it to backfire afterwards?”

“I knew that it wasn’t such a big deal.”

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She let out a long sigh. Dayoung already knew that Kyuwol wasn’t able to understand nor sympathize with those who tasted defeat.

“What if Park Sungwon says something strange that ends up hurting you?”

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He suddenly froze before grabbing her shoulders and turning her around. Their eyes met. Dayoung felt her throat close up as she gulped.

“That man might really hurt you.”

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“Haha. Is that what made you so nervous?”

“Can you stop laughing? I’m serious.”

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Kyuwol’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. He crossed his arms and slightly tilted his head to the side.

“I thought you were getting tired of me, so I almost got mad.”

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They were already way past this stage. She was the one who had already seen his true self and still chose to stay with him.

“Can I ask you one thing?”

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“Of course.”

She looked at his lighthearted smile and asked something she was truly curious about.

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“How did you train him? What caused him to go crazy with hatred?”

“Most get swallowed up by the negativity, but there are some kids who do well. They’re the kind of athletes who gain strength and power through negativity instead of positivity and encouragement. They’re stupid, but they are also quite pitiful.”

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For some reason, she felt as if something pierced her heart. She did her best to keep her expression calm and continued to listen to his story.

“There are some kids whose skills come out once they’ve been pushed to their limit, and Park Sungwon was one of those kids. He wasn’t aware of this, so I revealed it to him. Seeing a fully grown bastard weeping because he wants to win a medal is quite fun to watch.”

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Dayoung saw with her own two eyes how he lacked any regret in his actions. A question that flashed through her head automatically flowed out of her mouth.

“Did you poke his pride?”

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“Mm… Shall I be honest?”

His gray eyes flashed with some unknown emotion as they narrowed. The moment Dayoung saw how giddy he seemed, her heart thumped nervously. She was about to tell him she didn’t need to hear it, but Kyuwol beat her to the punch.

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“I poked everything I could poke. His pride. His shame. His fear. His anxiety. All of it.”

They were the only ones inside this room, and Kyuwol lowered his voice as if he were telling her a secret. He chuckled.

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“He probably wanted to die several times.”

Dayoung’s hands grew damp with sweat. When he received an offer to become a coach for the national swimming team, he had been indifferent about it. The one who pushed him to actively take a mentoring role was Dayoung. She thought this would be the best fit for him.

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Kyuwol was still young, and he was still full of energy. He had an intense tendency to try and control every aspect of Dayoung’s life. From the outside, it didn’t look like he was trying to restrict her in any way, but behind the scenes, with and without her knowledge, she had a feeling that he was executing his plans. Therefore, in order to channel that energy somewhere else, she created an environment where they could occasionally be apart.

Of course, she never expected him to find a comet of an athlete to train in the swimming world, a community he had called a wasteland in the past. Actually, Dayoung was happy for him. But she never expected the side effects of such a decision to be like this.

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He broke the arm of a friend who said he didn’t want to play sports anymore. He stomped on the pride of a female teammate who confessed her one-sided love to him. How could she have forgotten about his nature?

“What if he tries to get revenge on you?”

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“He doesn’t have the stomach to do something like that. Well, even if he did…”

“Even if he did?”

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“I don’t plan on just letting him do it.”

His final words as he burst into laughter were very persuasive. She felt that no matter what Park Sungwon tried to do, it wouldn’t harm Kyuwol. Actually, she realized that the exact opposite might happen. She recalled the murderous gleam in his eyes as he tried to call Park Sungwon. It made her insides churn.

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“What if they take disciplinary action on you?”

“The swimming federation isn’t retarded, Dayoung. I was a genius when I was an active athlete, but I’m also a genius when it comes to training.”

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When she heard his affirmations, laughter began to burst out of Dayoung’s lips. Because of the long time they’d been together, some of Kyuwol’s relaxed nature probably rubbed off on Dayoung as well.

“Aren’t you embarrassed to say things like that with your own mouth?”

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“Not really.”

As soon as the direction of the conversation began to change, Kyuwol grabbed her hand and pulled it over his lower abdomen.

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“The fact that I’m a genius is true, and it’s also true that someone took a hammer and shattered a part of my mind.”

His cock was obviously swollen, and she could feel its hefty girth underneath her palm. A familiar sense of anticipation surged through her body, and it was all thanks to the long time they’d spent together.

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Lee Kyuwol wanted her right now. So much that he wanted to rip her to shreds.

“Even though you knew all this, you still chose me.”

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When she heard his gloomy yet seductive voice, the area between her legs grew warm, and something hotter surged out of her entrance. Kyuwol licked his lips and laid her down onto her back. After pinning her legs between his, he crossed his arms and pulled off his black shirt. His perfectly sculpted muscles twitched, ready to press down on her.

After unbuckling his pants, he pulled them down. The outline of his swollen erection was clearly visible behind the fabric of his drawers. Kyuwol propped both of his hands up against the wall and brought his lower abdomen up to her face. His penis pushed up against the fabric as if it were on the cusp of ripping through.

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“What are you doing?”

“The other thing I’m good at?”

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“Hnng…!”

Dayoung was inevitably pushed down. When she felt the weight pressing down on her face, she couldn’t breathe, so her mouth opened automatically. Her ragged breaths puffed out of her parted lips. Kyuwol looked down at her and chuckled.

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“It feels hot.”

The heat from her panting breaths traveled through the thin fabric of his drawers and reached his cock. The weight pressing down on her lips, nose, and cheek grew even heavier. Dayoung’s breaths quickened, and more of Kyuwol’s scent filled her lungs.

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“Are you trying to kill me…? Ugh…!”

She managed to gasp out when Kyuwol pulled his hips back. He pulled his drawers down and revealed his erection. Then he promptly pushed it into her mouth.

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“But you like it.”

It was more accurate to say that he basically invaded her mouth. Her face turned red as she opened her mouth as wide as it could go to receive his cock. Lee Kyuwol was very knowledgeable when it came to straddling the line between pain and pleasure.

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“Hmm…! Hnn…! Hnng….!”

Because he had the ability to control and manage his breathing, he was an Olympic champion that could not be beaten. It was as if he could find a way to breathe underground. And now, he freely used Dayoung’s breaths as he pleased and brought about a terrifyingly cruel ecstasy. Twice. Three times. In the end, tears burst out of her eyes as saliva surged in her mouth. Kyuwol finally pulled himself out.

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“If you’re crying already, that’s cheating.”

As if giving her the carrot after cracking the whip, Kyuwol gently kissed her. She was annoyed at herself for reacting to his kiss, so she moved to bite his tongue. However, Kyuwol grabbed her chin and lowered it. His other hand pulled her skirt up and ripped through her black stockings.

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“When you cry, I want to have sex with you so badly that I can barely hold back. Always.”

Kyuwol pushed the thin scrap of cloth to the side. Without completely taking off his pants, he pushed himself inside her. His perfectly ironed suit was wrinkled into a mess, and the same went for her skirt and silk blouse.

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“Ah… Hnng…! Nnng…!”

As long as they were doing it together, Dayoung didn’t need to hide anything from him. Even if he was rough with her, as long as it wasn’t turning her off, it merely served to keep the fire ablaze. She acknowledged this fact. Even if she tried to hide it, he already knew.

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“Does it feel crazy good?”

Either way, he liked her like this, so it didn’t matter. Dayoung dug her fingernails and teeth into his perfect body. He wasn’t going easy on her either. At some point, they had taken off the remainder of their clothes, and the discarded garments were tossed to the floor.

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“Ugh…! Nng…! Ah…!”

Kyuwol placed her nude body on top of his and raised his knees before pounding into her from below. As his thrusts grew stronger, she fell back down even harder. Dayoung lowered her head and watched as Kyuwol’s veiny cock repeatedly penetrated her. Every time he hammered into her, a fiery blaze seemed to surge into her lower stomach, and a sharp pain mixed with pleasure continued to spread throughout her body.

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“Where are you looking? You need to look at me.”

With a devilish look on his face, Kyuwol kissed her lips. As she squeezed around him until his face grew red, Kyuwol let out a husky moan. At the precipice of her climax, Dayoung’s entrance trembled.

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“Tell me you love me, Dayoung.”

She was never good at telling him she loved him. And whenever Kyuwol annoyed her by asking her to say it over and over again, she didn’t want to say it to appease him.

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“Once after I won a medal. And that one time when you came home drunk. You’ve confessed to me a total of two times. Even though we’ve had sex thousands of times.”

Summing up their relationship by the number of times they had sex was surprising and shocking. How much time had they spent tangled together like this? What percentage of their time together did it take up?

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“The second time you told me, you basically saved someone’s life. I was planning on killing Director Cho, the man who carried you home on his back. Haha. When he was on his way out, I planned on dragging him to the swimming pool and beating him up, but you clung onto me and confessed. Then we ended up having sex in the garden, and I missed my opportunity.”

Dayoung’s body fell back down onto the bed. Kyuwol was definitely more turned on than usual today. He squeezed her breasts and whispered to her from behind. Dayoung grasped the sheets to escape, but he dug his teeth into the nape of her neck.

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“Ah… Ah…!”

As she tried to put some distance between them, she suddenly felt a muscular body slam into her buttocks as he plunged inside. Kyuwol grabbed both of her wrists and slid them up. As if both of her hands were nailed down, she was face down on the bed. Whenever Kyuwol thrust into her, she felt as if she were being whipped. A throbbing feeling, as if a leather whip was only cracking down on her sweet spot. However, it was as if he were deliberately avoiding the deepest part of her, and he continued to hit the areas around it.

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“Hnng…! Ugh…!”

Daon buried her face into the clean sheets and held back her moan. Even though she couldn’t push him away, she didn’t want to show him her begging face. However, Kyuwol was not a tender lover who could tolerate this.

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“Beg me to do it.”

“Haa…!”

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The sound of their smacking bodies rang in the air. Every time he plunged in, her body remembered the pleasure of climax and twitched and trembled, wanting more. Lee Kyuwol’s cock was probably drenched in her essence.

“Beg me.”

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Her mouth ran dry, so she wet her lips with her tongue. Then she glared at him with her dazed eyes and whispered.

“Director Cho didn’t see us doing it, did he?”

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Kyuwol’s brow furrowed into a scowl. A curse hissed out between his teeth. He let go of her hands and clenched her soft hair. Then he began to move the way she wanted him to. It was possible that Dayoung instinctively knew how to provoke him. Every time he poked and pushed against her most sensitive spot, moans burst out of Dayoung’s lips.

It was impossible to hold back her cries. Pleasure spread up to the crown of her head where he had grabbed her hair. Her swollen inner walls repeatedly contracted around him. His other hand pressed down on her lower stomach, making his movements even more clearer. She felt as if her whole body was going to explode.

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“Ah! Hnng! Aaah!!”

Her hips trembled as she writhed in ecstasy. Kyuwol continued to thrust deeply into her body and stuck their bodies together. As she felt his entire body hardened like stone, she realized that he had reached his limit. In an instant, she felt him pump his thick semen inside her. She felt that if she was cut open, she’d be filled with Lee Kyuwol’s scent.

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“Sometimes you… make it impossible for me to hold back.”

Kyuwol whispered in a low voice like an animal. He pulled out his cock drenched in their fluids. His finger squeezed into her messy entrance. The lingering traces of their climax squelched, and Kyuwol’s finger began to press deeper. His thumb rubbed her sticky, swollen clitoris.

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“Stop it, Kyuwol.”

She squirmed. Kyuwol grabbed her and straightened her out on the bed.

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“You brought this on yourself.”

“I love you… Please.”

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She said it to defend herself, but it was no use. He planned to go all the way with her today.

“Really? Then you need to bear with me all the more.”

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Kyuwol sneered at Dayoung’s empty confession and began to penetrate her with his hands. He knew his woman’s body better than his own.

“This is your punishment for thinking about another man while you’re making love to your lover.”

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No way. Dayoung finally realized the faint truth that she had overlooked. The reason why he was so twisted today was possibly due to a misunderstanding.

“Are you… jealous?”

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“Haha. What’s that?”

Kyuwol hysterically laughed as if it didn’t make any sense. Dayoung shook her head. She was sure she was right.

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“I don’t even really know who, hnng, Park Sungwon is.”

“Then why do you sympathize with him?”

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She couldn’t deny that. However, she couldn’t easily say it out loud. She felt that her answer would only further stimulate him.

“I’m asking why you’re worried about that bastard’s pride. Hm?”

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“C-Crazy… Ugh!”

“Didn’t you know I was a crazy bastard? You loved me without knowing that?”

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His hands moved faster. Her swollen walls clenched, and he began to tease a spot deep inside. She suddenly felt the urge to urinate. She slammed her fist down on his steely arm, but he didn’t even flinch. When she realized that he wanted to turn her into an animal, she began to beg.

“Enough, Kyuwol. Hnng…! Please, aaah, I can’t… Hnnnng!”

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“The only problem in your head should have been me.”

Kyuwol’s hands were a mess as they were covered in his semen and her essence. His hands moved faster and faster, rubbing against her tender flesh. He moved faster than he did when he was using his cock. She felt as if her blood was boiling, and all her nerves seemed to concentrate in one place.

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“Ah… Aaah… Aaahng… Hnnng…!”

She let out a strained cry as he continued to stimulate her clitoris and the spot deep inside her at the same time. Her hips arched, and she dug her fingernails into Kyuwol’s arms as she screamed.

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“If you have time to worry about others, just worry about yourself, Dayoung.”

She felt as if something snapped inside her, and another climax was ripped out of her.

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A fluid jetted out of her entrance. Kyuwol pulled his hand out and buried his face between her legs. She knew that the flowing stream perfectly drenched his face, but Dayoung couldn’t stop. She merely trapped his face between her thighs and gasped for breath until her climax faded away. Whenever her body twitched from time to time, she felt like she was a fish flopping inside of a fishbowl. 

“Haa… Haa…”

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Kyuwol crouched down between her legs like a dog and did not move until she caught her breath. As her legs grew limp, she could hear Kyuwol kissing her tender flesh. Chuu, chuu. The sounds continued for several minutes. Then he straightened up.

His face was damp as if he’d just washed it, and his expression looked calm. For a moment, she thought he looked quite refreshed. He swept his wet hair up and revealed his forehead. When she saw him laughing, something boiled inside her chest.

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“I really hate you, Lee Kyuwol. You’re the worst.”

Despite hearing her words, he looked very satisfied. She listened as he called the housekeeping team in charge of this room and asked them to change the bedsheets. She covered her head with the blanket. The short call ended, and Kyuwol buried his body against hers.

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“It felt good for me.”

As if the events of just a few moments ago did not happen, his voice had returned to its warm tone. She felt his weight press down on her entire body, and she murmured back in a helpless voice.

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“I really feel like I became an animal.”

“Don’t animals only have sex to reproduce?”

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“….There are some who don’t.”

“They must be an unusual species.”

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He slightly lifted the blanket, and their eyes met.

“Just like you and me.”

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He laughed silently. He wrapped her up in the blanket and lifted her into his arms. While the housekeeping team in charge of this luxurious room were busy cleaning up the embarrassing traces of what they’d just done, Dayoung and Kyuwol showered together. Next to the running shower, Dayoung bit her lips so that her moans would not leave the room as he embraced her once again.

* * *

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After a long time had passed, they were finally done having sex. Kyuwol seemed to be in a good mood. It was probably because Dayoung was the one who initiated sex for the final round. She laid back on the bed and looked at his satisfied smile before cautiously asking a question.

“Did you hit Park Sungwon very hard?”

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Kyuwol propped his head in his hand and stared at her in silence. Then he finally opened his mouth.

“You know you can be crazy annoying sometimes, right?”

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He was telling her that she was being stubborn by asking more questions. However, Dayoung didn’t relent.

“I know that. So just answer me. Does it have to do with the fact that he got injured last year?”

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She needed to know everything about the situation in order to find a solution. Thankfully, instead of growing suspicious of her, Kyuwol let out a short sigh and told her the truth.

“He got caught with a lot of forbidden drugs, so I hit him a bit harder than usual. He ended up falling down pretty hard.”

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“…Drugs?”

“Rather than having his career as an athlete end like that, an injury is much more preferable.”

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She thought about how big of a danger it was for an athlete to be caught doping, and she felt a little better. She gently pressed her lips on the fingernail marks she’d left on his skin when they were having sex.

“Then that athlete should be thanking you instead.”

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“You’re right. I even helped him break up with his cheating girlfriend so that he could focus more of his attention on training.”

“Hm…?”

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“On a day when we were supposed to train, I told him to go over to his girlfriend’s place without telling her. But that kid’s girlfriend was having sex with another man. Haha. I wonder how shitty he felt.”

Dayoung suddenly felt her body grow limp, and she mustered all her strength to lift her head. She recalled something that happened a long time ago. A time when she was still attending university. Back then, she planned on using an innocent man who approached her to run away, and Kyuwol had caught her. The memory made her feel uncomfortable. She gulped, but Kyuwol didn’t seem to care, and he looked very happy.

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“It’s not easy to date an athlete. We have games that take us far away, and we have to train when we’re not competing. There’s a lot of time apart, don’t you think? I told him that there’s no need to blame the girl, and that he’s the retard for being made a fool. His skills weren’t even that good, so this was merely the fate of an athlete like him.”

Dayoung didn’t have to hear more to finally understand how Kyuwol got his athletes to focus on their training.

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“I know you probably don’t understand this, but for other people, they’ll remember things like that, and it will keep hurting them.”

Not everyone was as tough and mentally broken as him. She added this unnecessary comment in hopes that he would be able to muster an ounce of sympathy or pity. Kyuwol quietly listened to her as he stared into her eyes. Then he shattered that hope.

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“He’s the one who said he’d do anything.”

“……”

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“It’s fun. I’m also curious on how far he’ll take it.”

Instead of telling him that a stone thrown for fun could sink a ship, Dayoung blinked.

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“Instead of choosing to have my own fun, I gave him what he earnestly wanted. But now he’s coming back and twisting his words. Isn’t that funny? That’s against the rules.”

His face held no expression, but this only proved to Dayoung that he was not lying at all. She was the only one in this world who could read his face.

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“He’s rejecting his own decision. How pathetic.”

His final point pierced into her ears. The only imperfection on his sculpted shoulders, the burn scar, was a lot more prominent today. The history she had erased. The other main character that lived inside the diaries she’d burned was still breathing and alive right before her eyes.

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“My Dayoung didn’t do that.”

He gazed at her as his lips stretched into a long smile. Dayoung’s heart thumped loudly.

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“He’s still young. You said he just turned twenty-two.”

“When you and I first started, we were younger than him.”

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When Kyuwol answered her with meaningful eyes, she gulped.

“Don’t think that you’re the same as some ridiculous thing and sympathize with it. You’re not as foolish as to be ignorant of the heavy weight of your decisions.”

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Dayoung stared piercingly at the scar on his shoulder. Kyuwol noticed her gaze and burst into lighthearted laughter. She remained silent as he pulled her into his arms, and his cold voice gently melted.

“But it was still kinda fun. Seeing your surprised face for the first time in a while.”

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“…If I get surprised a second time, I may die.”

When she barely managed to act indifferent as she gave him her reply, Kyuwol playfully nibbled on her ear and whispered.

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“You can’t die without my permission. Do you still not know that?”

Sympathy for others: zero. Even though I knew just how cruel and scary he could be, she had grabbed his hand. But sometimes, she couldn’t help but get surprised whenever she saw a glimpse of his true colors.

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“I’m always honest with you, Dayoung.”

“…I know.”

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“Have I ever thanked you for grabbing my hand?”

She thought about his question for a moment. She wondered if she ever had a choice to grab his hand or not.

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Instead of letting the innocent question leave her lips, she silently pulled Kyuwol into her arms. His wide back swelled before returning to its original position. He buried his nose into her hair and took a deep breath. She wondered what kind of face he was making right now. She felt that he was probably laughing silently.

“I always have this feeling… I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of you.”

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Because you’re so evil and dark.

Dayoung omitted the last part and only whispered it in her heart. If she had to explain how there were people who were inevitably attracted to the darkness, she felt that it would take all night.

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As if he’d read her thoughts, his shoulders shook with laughter. With this, it was enough.

* * *

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The family that entered the elevator immediately recognized Kyuwol. For the middle school swimmer competing in the junior competitions, Lee Kyuwol was no different from a god. Dayoung couldn’t help but feel relieved when she saw the young girl’s blatant joy at seeing him.

“My daughter really respects you, Athlete Lee Kyuwol.”

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“I’m going to set a world record, too.”

Kyuwol grinned at the young girl whose braces flashed as she beamed at him.

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“Okay. Make sure to keep your promise.”

Despite the recent scandal, Lee Kyuwol was still a national hero, and he was still able to fake his kindness towards those who liked him. Thank goodness.

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As he paused in the lobby to give the girl his autograph, Dayoung stepped out first and waited for their car. The wind was still chilly as it brushed against the nape of her neck, but the winter sun was particularly warm today. She lowered her eyelids at its brightness. The crisp sunlight caressed her face, and she couldn’t help but smile at the sensation.

“Dayoung.”

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Kyuwol asked why she was outside in the cold. She turned around when she heard his voice. She saw an unfamiliar man walk across the lobby and approach them from behind Kyuwol, but she didn’t pay it much attention. Meanwhile, their car that had been left in the valet’s care had finally arrived. Kyuwol moved to open the back door. There was a bouquet of flowers he had prepared for her inside.

“You drove me crazy yesterday, and I wasn’t able to give this to you…”

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Kyuwol took out the bouquet. Dayoung watched as the smile on his face slowly died. She automatically turned around and looked behind her. Something gleamed in the sunlight as it hung from the neck of a tall man whose head was half hidden underneath a baseball cap. The moment she realized that it was a medal, she saw that the man was holding a knife in his hand.

“…You crazy bastard!!!”

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Everything happened in an instant.

The young man with the gold medal hanging around his neck began to charge at Kyuwol. Dayoung’s body moved before she could think.

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Suddenly, a sharp, hot sensation pierced her abdomen through her open coat. A suffocating pain surged through her the moment she saw her hands red with blood.

She saw the hotel employees who had been standing at the hotel entrance rush towards them. She saw Lee Kyuwol throw the bouquet to the side and hold her as she fell. His icy, gray eyes were bursting with shock, and that was the last thing she saw before her eyes closed.

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People said that in the final moments of one’s life, the memories of their life would flash before their eyes like a kaleidoscope. However, in that moment, only one memory ran through her head. The day when she opened her eyes and saw the river. The sunlight glimmering on the surface of the water. The migrating birds leisurely flying in the sky. The two of them were looking at this intensely peaceful scene.

“Next time, you can reach out your hand to me first.”

Their hands tangled underneath the blanket on her lap. As she died, she chuckled at the final realization that popped into her head.

“You can do it.”

The person who took her hand first and didn’t let go was Lee Kyuwol.

* * *

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“Because of the severe internal bleeding, she is currently undergoing emergency surgery. For now, please sign this consent form…”

The emergency room doctor held out a document to Kyuwol as he sat in the corridor outside the operating room.

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“Lee Kyuwol-ssi?”

“What are you asking me to consent to?”

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Kyuwol, who had been sitting like a statue until now, finally moved and raised his head. When their eyes met, the doctor gulped. He had encountered many patients’ loved ones during his career and was more or less used to their reactions, but this was a first. Kyuwol repeated his question with a low voice. His empty eyes caused a shiver to run down the doctor’s spine. The doctor looked at him and stuttered his answer.

“I-It may be a difficult operation.”

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“So? You’re telling me she might die?”

“It depends on how well the patient fights to survive…”

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Kyuwol grabbed the doctor’s throat with his hand that was still covered with blood. The doctor could no longer continue talking.

“Who’s dying?”

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“Omo, sir, you cannot behave like this!!”

The nurse who held a chart in her arms shouted out from the side. The nurse’s eyes watched as Lee Kyuwol’s face gradually twisted into a scowl. It was very different from how he had looked on TV and the internet. It looked so hellish that it caused her to shiver with fear.

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“If you don’t have the confidence to save her, I’ll head in myself, so open the door.”

The doctor’s face turned purple. Lee Kyuwol flung him down on the floor. His blue-gray eyes gleamed as he shouted out.

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“I’d rather she die by my own hands than by the hands of someone else!!”

His normally cold personality was nowhere to be seen as he screamed out his shocking declaration. The nurse realized that the Lee Kyuwol in front of her was not normal, and she took a step back.

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“Move.”

Kyuwol staggered to the doors with the sign that read ‘No Unauthorized Personnel Allowed’. These doors lead to the operating room.

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“Please call security!!”

Bang!

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Kyuwol’s fist struck the thick, iron doors and trembled. His other hand grabbed his hair and pulled. The veins on his neck bulged.

Bang!

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“Jung Dayoung!!!”

What did it feel like to regret something? Until now, Kyuwol had never known what that term truly felt like. Just like how humans were affected by their relationships, he was the product of his past.

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The reason why he made a reservation at the hotel where he first met Dayoung was for his own romantic amusement. Even though the Italian restaurant where they’d first met had changed its name and outer shell, the moment when they first recognized each other happened at this exact location, and it would never disappear.

“I don’t think it’s a good time to be eating a meal at a hotel right now.”

When he realized that Dayoung did not remember this monumental location, the veins of his hands bulged as he clenched his hands around the steering wheel. The moment when they first saw each other. The moment when he realized that they were the same kind of animal, shrouded in darkness, and reached out his hand to her. How could she have forgotten?

If he had turned the car around then, would all this have been avoidable?

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“Park Sungwon might sue you.”

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Throughout the meal, Dayoung’s head had been filled with needless worries, and she’d been nervous and scared. She kept bringing another person’s name to her lips and annoyed him. Of course, the fact that she was worried about him did turn him on. Because he found her reaction to be entertaining, he continued to drive her into a corner.

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When it came to love, she was blind. If Jung Misook had returned even an ounce of sincerity in the face of Dayoung’s unconditional love, Dayoung would have remained by her side, walking on eggshells, for the rest of her life. Dayoung was the kind of person who could hide her existence and sacrifice herself for the sake of Jung Misook’s trivial career. She was so pitiful that he was driven to anger at how lovable she was.

Dayoung’s first love was her mother, but her mother did not know her daughter. And she paid for that crime with her life.

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“Dante believed that violating someone’s heart was more wicked than the sins brought about by power and violence. Then that means I’m the only person who deserves to be thrown into the lowest pits of hell. Well… I guess that’s obvious. Because… I think the dirtiest and most evil thoughts in the world.”

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Whenever Dayoung got drunk, she talked a lot more than usual. Then she’d look at him with half-lidded eyes and chuckle. She confessed that she was more cruel and fierce as she sat in front of a lion. Even though she was born as an unlucky deer whose horns were growing into her own heart.

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“Let’s get along from now on, Dayoung.”

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On that day when they met for the first time, after recognizing Dayoung’s natural gift, if he hadn’t reached his hand out to her, would this have been avoidable? If he had just let Dayoung go when she tried to escape him, would they have been able to avoid all this?

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No. No way. I couldn’t have stopped myself.

“You wanted me, too… You did…!”

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No matter how much he shouted and kicked at the operating room doors, Dayoung did not come out.

Kyuwol recalled the night when he’d put his life on the line and played a game to obtain Dayoung. As he sank inside the dark, cold water, he looked up and watched. He remembered how the water rippled. It was so funny to see her try to save him when she had been trying to run away a moment ago… He didn’t care about the water that entered his lungs and just laughed.

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Although she seemed like a coward, Dayoung was someone who was more used to pain and suffering than anyone. She was someone who could put her life on the line to save someone she loved. This was corroborated by the fact that she was the only person in his life who could give him such exhilarating pleasure.

And now, Dayoung had once again thrust herself in danger for his sake. He could no longer laugh. His hands had turned completely red from her sweet, sticky blood. He slipped his tongue out and licked his hand. He felt as if a knife had pierced his head.

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Someone came and held down his arms and legs. His bloody hand clenched into a fist, and he swung his arm at the person holding him down.

“Fuck…!!!”

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The pair of arms that held him down turned into two and then three. He felt as if a centipede were crawling on top of him and binding its legs around him. It felt disgusting, and he grew nauseous and wailed.

“Isn’t that Lee Kyuwol? Omo, he must have gone crazy.”

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“I heard his girlfriend got severely injured. They say she might even die.”

“…What a pity.”

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His throat closed up, and he couldn’t breathe. The whispering voices flowed into his ears and turned into thousands of voices in his head. You failed, Lee Kyuwol. How pitiful. Looks good on you. Hahaha. The voices pierced his head like knives, but he wasn’t able to kill them. He grabbed the gun on the security guard’s belt and held it up to his temple.

“Hey, stop!”

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When he realized that he couldn’t kill himself, his whole body was filled with the urge to murder. He flung the plastic toy gun away and grabbed his hair.

“I’ll kill her…!”

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Something sharp pierced his arm. He would rather that the person had pierced the needle into his neck instead. This was because he was overwhelmed with the desire to barge into the operating room and kill Dayoung with his own hands. He would never forgive her for leaving him as she pleased.

“Give him another one!”

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However, before then, he wanted to feel her breath just one more time. While she was still alive, he wanted to look into her blushing face and hear her confess to him with a voice so soft that he could barely hear it.

“I love you, Lee Kyuwol.”

“Lies… Lies!!!”

It was such a shitty lie. If this was her definition of love, then he’d reject it. Although he did want to remove anything that kept him from being the only one she loved and desired, he never wanted this kind of sacrifice.

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Dayoung was the only woman who understood his darkness. Did she truly not know what kind of effect her death would have on him? For the first time in his life, he felt regret. And he realized just how painful it felt as it burned through his entire body. Did she truly not know that he would feel like this?

“Why did you do it? Why?

“…Just because.”

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When he realized that she did not have the mind to think that far, his body went limp. Dayoung had merely acted on instinct.

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“You’re too afraid.”

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“You’re the one who’s too relaxed.”

Because she was always worried, she seemed like someone who’d avoid any accidents as much as possible. But she had fearlessly thrown herself in front of him for his sake. Like an idiot.

He felt the drug spread throughout his body, and his screams would no longer leave his throat. Scorching blood dripped down his cheek. It was possible that his brain had burst due to anger.

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Having to sacrifice his woman because of some rookie that did not deserve his time of day was something that could never happen. But what he could accept even more than this was to open his eyes to a world that did not have her in it.

Being unable to hear her worried voice call out, ‘Kyuwol’. 

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Dayoung had promised that no matter how wicked he was, she would never leave him. So this was a betrayal. By cutting the string of fate that bound them together, she was basically committing murder.

 If you’re going to leave first, then just kill me, Dayoung.

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Please end me with your own hands. I’ll receive the Holy Grail filled with poison like a devout believer and die with a smile on my face.

* * *

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Because she was in surgery, Dayoung didn’t see Kyuwol implode until a long time later. She had prepared her heart to a certain extent and clicked the link to the video. After she watched it, she completely understood the public’s shock at having seen Kyuwol’s true self. His rage pierced through the small screen of her phone, and goosebumps rose on her skin. Therefore, those who were used to seeing Lee Kyuwol’s mask were probably even more surprised.

While she was in surgery, Kyuwol continued to convulse outside the operating room and only lost consciousness once he was injected with a lot of sedatives. When he woke up two hours later, he screamed and shattered the IV drip. Completely bloody, he continued to cry and shout until he fainted due to dehydration. Dayoung could easily understand why he had cried until his throat went hoarse. He had definitely cried because he could not endure the overwhelming rage burning through his heart.

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He felt insulted by the fact that he had suffered under the hands of some useless rookie, and more than anything else, he could not forgive that she was the victim of the culprit. Because of severe blood loss, they had to use thirty bags of blood for the transfusion. They were not the same blood type, so he could not offer his own blood either. The surgery took longer than expected, and there was nothing he could do but wait. Because of all these factors, the uncontrollable rage blinded his eyes, and he couldn’t see anything else.

Dayoung assumed that there was not a single point in his life where he could not do as he pleased with the exception of when he was a dependent young child. Ever since he put his life on the line and played a game by throwing himself off the cliff due to his father’s abuse, he never had anything he was afraid to lose.

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Even when he was in the Olympics, he was calm as if he were merely going out for a pleasant walk around the neighborhood. Even when he set a world record, he acted so nonchalant about it. But now, such a man had lost his mind and was acting out like this.

The stabbing happened in front of a luxury hotel in broad daylight, so there was no way it wouldn’t become a big story in the media. While she was unconscious, whether it was inside the ambulance, outside the operating room, in front of reporters, or anywhere else, Kyuwol continued to show everyone his insanity. Ironically, the public was sympathetic towards him, and when they found out that Athlete Park Sungwon was discovered to be high on drugs, everyone was on Kyuwol’s side.

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If someone asked her if this had been Lee Kyuwol’s plan all along, she would tell them it was not. Because Lee Kyuwol’s true plan was suicide.

* * *

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After undergoing the operation, Dayoung finally woke up. When she woke up in the private room, the first thing her blurry eyes saw was her boyfriend. Even if she were in hell, she felt like the first thing she’d see would be his face. She slowly blinked her eyes. Why was I here again? Her memories returned to her like watching a movie backwards. She finally spoke up with a raspy voice.

“…You didn’t do anything, right?”

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Kyuwol didn’t say anything. His empty, gray eyes merely stared at her. It was a dark night. It was so quiet, and all they could hear was the sound of the humidifier and the cars passing by outside the hospital. Dayoung’s head was still a bit foggy. She called out his name.

“Kyuwol.”

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For a moment, Dayoung wondered if she was dead. When she tried to sit up, she felt a dull throb in her abdomen. It completely dispelled the remaining fog in her mind.

“Don’t move.”

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Kyuwol finally opened his mouth. The fact that he was in front of her right now meant that he hadn’t done anything problematic.

“Thank goodness.”

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Dayoung sighed in relief. As soon as she had opened her eyes, she had been worried that he had done something to Park Sungwon. Kyuwol kept his eyes fixed on her and continued to speak.

“As I waited for you to come out of the operating room, I kept thinking about something.”

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She saw something prickly enter his dull gaze. Dayoung frowned.

“…What are you talking about?”

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“I waited a long time.”

His hoarse voice murmured. Kyuwol began to take off his clothes in front of her. Dayoung’s dazed eyes gazed at him, and she blinked. By the time her eyes focused on him, she discovered his wrists wrapped with bandages. She saw that he was completely naked as he bent down and pulled out a jackknife from his discarded pants pocket.

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“This is better than cutting my wrists.”

Dayoung’s eyes widened. When he saw this, Kyuwol laughed. Her entire body tensed with dread, and a shiver ran down her spine.

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“What are you…!”

“Goodbye.”

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Dayoung mustered up some superhuman strength to grab his arm and hang on. The sharp knife stopped just before it thrust into his abdomen.

“Lee Kyuwol!!!”

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Dayoung drew in a ragged breath. His eyes looked a lot paler than usual, and his face was drenched in cold sweat.

“Lee Kyuwol. Please.”

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“Didn’t you expect this to happen? All I’ve been doing was waiting for this moment. You should be covered in my blood, too. It’s only fair.”

Lee Kyuwol spoke in a low voice like a lunatic. No. He had definitely lost his mind. Dayoung held his blue-gray eyes that gleamed with a strange light. Then she whispered.

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“Please, Kyuwol. I’m a patient.”

Both of her hands trembled, and her blood was drawn back into the IV.

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“I’m hurt.”

“Haa…”

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The veins in his neck bulged as he ground his teeth. She watched as the scabs on his lips burst open as he chewed his lips. She saw his bloodshot eyes.

Kyuwol drew in a deep breath and slowly closed his eyes. Dayoung felt like she was witnessing a volcano explode. She continued to watch as his cold tears dripped onto the back of her hand. The knife fell onto the ground.

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“Good job. Thank you.”

Dayoung had muttered these words several times before. His sculpted, pale body was drenched in sweat. Kyuwol swept his wet face with a trembling hand and grabbed his hair. She felt like she could hear the pulse on his neck and arm beat in the silence. She could clearly read the pain Kyuwol had felt when he saw her bloody body.

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Kyuwol, it hurts, right? In this situation where you can’t die nor kill me. You feel like you’re going crazy, right?

Her eyes softened. Her wicked lover had been waiting for her to wake up. She stretched out her hand. Kywuol stood in the nude, and her fingertips touched his abdomen.

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“Don’t be funny.”

Kyuwol realized what she was trying to do, and he murmured a warning to her. His eyes were filled with rage, but as soon as she touched his limp body, he lifted his head.

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“Shall I stop?”

Dayoung whispered in a raspy voice. His penis slowly began to swell, and it was now completely hard as it stood up. Kyuwol let out a curse mixed with a moan. He bent down towards her. His expression looked like he was on the verge of strangling her, but Dayoung wasn’t scared. This was because Kyuwol’s fierce erection was gradually becoming wet.

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“I’m rewarding you for enduring it all so well. But should I stop?”

“Fuck…”

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Dayoung’s limp hand couldn’t properly tighten around him, and it merely shook up and down. It was merely holding onto the proof of his arousal.

“I kept hearing your voice. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t die. Because I was scared of you.”

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And without even so much as touching a hair on her head, Kyuwol’s body trembled as he ejaculated.

“Don’t do it ever again.”

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After letting it all out with a pained expression on his face, Kyuwol whispered in a sunken voice. The sentence didn’t have any context to it, but she understood what he meant. His softened gray eyes were clouded with an unexplainable question. As he said so himself, he would never be able to understand what was broken inside his mind.

“Okay.”

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Dayoung slowly nodded her head. Then she brought her hand that was wet with his semen up to her nose. She looked at him and laughed.

“I smell like you.”

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“You’ve smelled like me for a long time.”

Kyuwol answered in a low voice. It looked like he was finally coming back to his senses. Dayoung looked at him and recalled the time they were in his car in the early winter. He had muttered that he wanted to smell her hand at the age of nineteen. And now, he was completely satisfied.

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“You know you can’t kill Park Sungwon, right?”

“…Ah.”

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Kyuwol spoke up with a curt voice while wearing an indescribable expression on his face. Dayoung realized he had completely forgotten about his existence. During the three days she’d been unconscious, his face had grown surprisingly gaunt.

“I’ll think about it starting now.”

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“Kyuwol.”

He didn’t give her a reply. He merely frowned as he gazed at her with darkened eyes. Dayoung stretched out her hand to him.

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“You need to get some sleep.”

He lifted the sheets on her bed and slept like the dead by her side. The nurse entered the room with a blood pressure gauge, and when she saw the two of them, she quietly turned around and went back outside.

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After that day, there weren’t any more dangerous scandals concerning Kyuwol and other athletes. At least, she didn’t hear of any. With that, she was satisfied.

As Park Sungwon cried and begged for forgiveness, Dayoung submitted a letter asking for leniency regarding his sentencing. Rather than receiving the average sentence of those charged with murder, he was given two years in prison. And when it came to her decision, Kyuwol did not meddle or interfere at all.

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The only thing that changed was what happened whenever they finished having sex. He would press his lips onto the puckered scar on her abdomen. He didn’t say anything, but she knew. Sometimes, he’d have nightmares that caused his entire body to become drenched with cold sweat. This was because he was barely managing to keep his uncontrollable rage dormant.

Whenever she thought about how Lee Kyuwol had given up on himself in the hospital room that fateful night, she couldn’t help but grow feverish as her breaths quickened.

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She might have always dreamed to plant a seed of guilt in his heart. Just like how he had done the same to her all those years ago. She would stroke the scar on his shoulder and smile.

Lee Kyuwol. So this must have been how you felt.

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Dayoung was determined to never erase the scar from her body. Because it might give her another chance to taste Lee Kyuwol’s chilly tears.

* * *

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Unfortunately, the romantic situation that Dayoung dreamed of did not come easily. Because Kyuwol never spoke about the events of that day ever again. The first time she saw a crack in his resolve was after three seasons had passed one afternoon.

“Did you have fun?”

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After propping his head down on her arm as she lay basking in the warm autumn sun, he stroked her scar before suddenly looking up.

“What are you talking about?”

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“I asked if you had fun. When you were inside the operating room.”

Her head was a bit fuzzy due to the long flight and adjusting to the time difference. Due to her anxiety, Dayoung couldn’t fall asleep on a plane. As expected, Kyuwol did not get a wink of sleep as he sat by her side either. Even after driving three hours from the plane to the remote village, he still looked completely fine. Seeing this, she couldn’t help but feel that the heavens were unfair.

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“I wonder how much fun you were having. Watching me grow all flustered at the thought of losing you.”

He now laughed when thinking about the event that disrupted his self-centered world. It looked like the incident brought a huge shock to his world that knew no fear. Seeing how he was finally bringing it up made her feel even more certain of this.

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“I’m tired.”

She gave him a faint smile as she tried to close her eyes, but she couldn’t. Kyuwol was gently pressing down on her scar. The faint memories of that day caused her eyes to open, and she quietly stared at her incredibly cruel boyfriend.

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“What is it that you want to say? Don’t beat around the bush and just say it.”

Kyuwol whispered in a low voice.

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“I’ll say it clearly for you to hear. I will never forgive you if you die in front of my eyes as you please. I won’t be able to handle it, and I might really kill you.”

“Mm… Is that why you dragged me to a rural village in Italy? To kill me?”

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The thin clouds floating in the blue sky looked like a peaceful painting. Lee Kyuwol was sitting with an unbuttoned white shirt, and it looked like he was a part of the painting as well.

“No. I like how you look too much right now to do that.”

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He swept her long hair that was covering her chest over her shoulder. Her hair scattered over the green grass. He raised her reddened knees and opened her legs. After seeing the traces of himself dripping from her exposed entrance, he chuckled.

“You look like a lewd angel who has had her fill, Dayoung.”

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When she saw how dark his insides were compared to his bright exterior, Dayoung couldn’t help but think that the heavens were unfair. She wasn’t sure if she was drawn to him for his beauty or if she was charmed by his ugliness. As she mulled over this, her thoughts gradually faded away with the incoming drowsiness.

“You told me that I’d get inspired if I came here. Psycho.”

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She stretched her legs and yawned. As soon as they arrived at the old castle they’d rented for their vacation, they had sex for a long time underneath the sunlight. It was probably why she was even more tired now.

“You still haven’t answered me.”

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“What was your question again?”

“Never put me in such a difficult situation ever again. Just the thought of it drives me crazy.”

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It seemed that she had traumatized him in some way. She wasn’t sure if an incident that could stamp itself in the mind of a sociopath was poison or not, but she was glad to see some change in him, even if it was incredibly tiny.

“If I can stop your death, then I’m going to do anything I can. Just like I did in the past.”

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“How is jumping into the water the same thing as getting stabbed?”

His voice slightly sharpened. Dayoung ignored it and continued to speak.

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“Getting stabbed was a lot easier than jumping into the water. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have any time to think.”

Kyuwol closed his mouth. She forced her half-lidded eyes open and looked at him.

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“Thinking about my mom who put everything on the line for a man, I guess I am my mother’s daughter.”

“You have a better face.”

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Even though she was drunk on sleep, she still laughed when she heard his calm voice.

“Lee Kyuwol.”

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In a place where no one could recognize them, inside this world where no one was around but them, she was drunk on sleep and on the mood. So she confessed to him.

“I love you.”

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“I know.”

“Even before you knew me.”

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Unable to look at him, Dayoung quickly closed her eyes. Ever since she first saw him in the news article, her young self had fallen in love. Although she had long acknowledged this fact, this was the first time she was saying it out loud. As expected, she felt embarrassed. However, on the other hand, she felt a lot better after saying it.

“That’s not surprising. Many people felt that way.”

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“How arrogant.”

“But if they saw what was twitching underneath my shell, they would have run away.”

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“I didn’t run away.”

“But you were trying to. Did you forget?”

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“…But I still chose you in the end.”

As she lay naked in the sun, she felt him wrap her up with the picnic blanket. As if he were carefully wrapping a precious gift, he held her in his arms and walked back to the castle.

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Whenever he moved, she liked the feel of his footsteps vibrating against her body. After walking up the long staircase, he finally laid her down on the soft bed. Kyuwol pulled her into his arms and murmured into her ear.

“You don’t have to love me. Just stay by my side.”

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“……”

“Don’t leave on your own. If you do, I’ll kill you using the cruelest method in the world.”

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“Kyuwol.”

“Yeah?”

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“So someone like you can grow old too, huh?”

She chuckled.

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“Why? Is the sex not as good anymore?”

“Of course that’s not what I mean.”

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Kyuwol laughed. He knew what she meant. They say that as one grows older, they grow more afraid.

I like seeing your fear, but it must feel awkward for you. Just like this, we’ll continue living together, changing in small ways that no one else can see.

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“Go to sleep now.”

As if his words were a spell, her body grew limp and she fell into a deep sleep. Ever since she began living with him at the age of nineteen, she could not sleep deeply unless she was in his arms. Whenever her eyes opened to their tangled bodies rutting like animals, she was actually filled with a sense of relief.

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In order to give her a spark of inspiration, he had brought her halfway across the world. But he probably didn’t realize that he was the one who inspired her the most. The people who enjoyed her movie that she didn’t think anyone would like had their own darkness and hidden yearnings.

When she saw that a small group of people viewed her main characters in a lovable light, she realized that there were other people like her in the world.

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Whether they were a little weird or a little crazy. Even people who were lacking could love. Lee Kyuwol was the first person who proved to her that it could happen.

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