FIB Ch 10 part 1
by AnonAnemoneMoonWon glanced at Heon as he slept next to her. He hadn’t stepped foot in the inner residence out of consideration for MoonWon because he wanted her to relax. However, when he received news that she hadn’t been able to sleep the entire time, he ultimately decided to visit her.
When he laid down on her bed, she followed his lead and laid down next to him. However, she only fell asleep for less than two hours before her eyes opened once again.
‘Ah…’
MoonWon got up carefully so that she wouldn’t wake Heon, but her brows furrowed when she saw his back.
He had wounds from when he had blocked the falling debris from crushing her. Although he was getting them treated consistently, they said that the wounds would scar. She was afraid and filled with dread at the thought of touching them.
The scar on his arm and the scar running across his cheek… He had gotten all of them while he was with her.
“Haa.”
The suffocating frustration in her heart did not go away. As if all the tears had dried up, the swell of emotions did not burst out.
The hand that was reaching out towards Heon’s wounds could not touch them and pulled back.
“You’re awake?”
She tried to be careful, but Heon’s sleeping eyes opened. MoonWon apologetically lowered her eyes.
When Heon buried his face against her hip, MoonWon’s small hands gently stroked his hair.
“Huu.”
After taking a deep breath of her fragrance, Heon lifted his head.
She used to smile at him as she told him she wanted to stay with him. However, she no longer smiled. She merely looked off far into the distance.
She looked like she’d disappear at any second. Heon was filled with dread.
Although she was definitely in his arms, MoonWon’s eyes were not looking at the bamboo grove nor her husband.
She looked like she was going away very soon. Heon couldn’t help but grab onto her. MoonWon turned her dazed eyes to him.
“Come here.”
After taking her eyes off the window, MoonWon entered Heon’s embrace. He stroked her petite back as his jaw clenched. After glancing at her with a frustrated expression, he rested his chin on her head.
“It might be difficult now, but things will return one by one.”
“……”
“They will return.”
Although he was saying it to MoonWon, it sounded like he was trying to console himself instead.
There were things that could not return no matter how hard one tried.
Like a wound that left behind a scar, the pain she had once endured continued to plague her. MoonWon buried her face against Heon’s embrace and closed her eyes as if she wanted everything to go away.
* * *
“Mistress, I’ve brought your medicine.”
After MoonWon had returned, Yusun had taken the role of her attendant.
If she had only paid a little more attention, things would not have turned out this way. Not only had the entire household turned upside-down, but her mistress had also shattered in the process.
“I’ll take it a little later.”
“They said that you must drink it at the same time each day in order for it to be most effective. Even if it is nauseating, please drink a little.”
When Yusun did not go away, MoonWon took the bowl of medicine and lifted it up to her lips. However, before she took a sip, she caught a glimpse of a figure through the open door. Yusun followed MoonWon’s gaze and a fire blazed in her eyes.
“How dare you step foot in this place?!”
Once MoonWon had returned, Yeori was kicked out of the inner residence. They kicked out every single person who was associated with Consort Yu. Heon had only allowed Yeori to stay in the residence temporarily, saying that MoonWon would be the one to make a decision regarding Yeori’s disposal.
Because MoonWon’s health was still in critical condition, Yusun had deliberately kept Yeori far away from the inner residence.
“Get out this instant!”
“Yusun, enough.”
Yusun bowed when she heard MoonWon’s command. MoonWon gazed at Yeori with an indescribable emotion in her eyes as she stood uncomfortably in front of her.
When she saw that Yeori would not go away despite being unable to meet her eyes, she called out to her.
“Come in.”
“Mistress!”
Yusun tried to stop her, but MoonWon did not budge.
Because Yusun knew that when MoonWon decided to stand her ground, she could not be moved, all she could do was glare at Yeori. She warned Yeori with her eyes, telling her not to play any stupid tricks while she was here. Yeori bowed even lower when she received the message.
“Did you successfully hold your mother’s funeral?”
“Mistress.”
“Can you tell me now?”
“Mistress, if you are curious about anything, please ask me and I will tell you. What can that child tell you that…”
“I would like to hear it directly from Yeori.”
Yeori lowered her head even more at MoonWon’s words. If MoonWon ordered for her death right this instant, Yeori was prepared to accept it.
If it came from MoonWon, the woman Yeori had betrayed, then it was the least she could do.
“I could not easily obtain the medicine needed for my mother’s illness. All the doctors could not figure out the cause of her illness and told me to prepare myself for her death. But suddenly, the court ladies from the Consort arrived at my house.”
They handed her some pills and told her that her mother’s condition would improve if she took them. And shockingly, the pills’ effects were surprisingly quick. Her elderly mother claimed that, at this rate, she should be back on her feet in no time. Hearing this, Yeori felt relieved.
“They told me that if I could just curb the Mistress’s influence by a little bit, they’d give me the medicine that would completely cure my mother. At first, I rejected their offer and said they were speaking nonsense. However, I knew that my mother’s illness would not be cured without the medicine they were giving me, so I ultimately accepted.”
Yeori’s whole body trembled at the immense sense of guilt. However, she knew that this was the only way to save her mother’s life, so she ignored the reality she was entering.
However, what only started as an order to curb the Mistress’s influence began to intensify.
“Are you saying that you had ulterior motives from the moment you met me?”
“No, Mistress. That’s not true! You were so good to me… I only began to work for them after you left for the capital. Before then, I wasn’t under their employment. Not at all.”
“……”
“The medicine that the Consort gave me merely alleviated the symptoms. It wasn’t one that could heal my mother. The day you left the residence, the Consort gifted me some liquor as my reward. However, I wasn’t home because I had met you, and my elderly mother… I’m sorry, Mistress.”
Her mother’s condition had improved when she was given the small doses of medicine, but it was ultimately an illusion. They said that, in reality, she wasn’t getting any better. Additionally, they told her that this medicine was addictive. Once one took it, they could never stop taking it for the rest of their lives.
The liquor that was given to Yeori was mixed with poison and some of that medicine. Drawn by the fragrance of the medicine, Yeori’s elderly mother drank the entire bottle. By the time Yeori had come back home, her mother was already dead.
Additionally, after everything had gone down, Yusun told her that the Consort had found out that she had survived and that she’d guided MoonWon in the opposite direction to let her escape. Therefore, the Consort had tried to kill Yeori.
“And they can’t fix your leg?”
“They told me that they could if I received treatment from the doctor, but what right do I have?”
“If you’re sorry, then receive the treatment.”
“Mistress, how could I?”
“If you do not return healthy, then don’t even think about staying by my side.”
At the unexpected remark, both Yeori and Yusun stared at MoonWon with shocked eyes. However, as if she’d lost interest in Yeori altogether, MoonWon’s eyes went back to gaze out the window.
“I’m tired. You may leave.”
If MoonWon had asked if she was okay or spoken sweetly to her, Yeori would have felt even more guilty. MoonWon did not meet her eyes nor speak to her affectionately.
Knowing that this was MoonWon’s way of being considerate, Yeori could not lift her head any longer.
With her head lowered, Yeori turned around and was just about to leave when she heard a voice call out from behind her.
“Don’t try to die.”
“……”
“Don’t let those who are left alive carry a burden of guilt.”
MoonWon’s calm voice merely suffocated Yeori. She could not bring herself to answer her order, and the words clung to the edge of her heart.
They said that the bruise that YongUn had left on her skin as he protected her did not go away despite the many days that had passed. Ultimately, it was a matter of the heart. Even though they knew this, there was nothing they could do.
Yeori wiped away the tears that welled up in her eyes and quickly exited the residence.
“Mistress, please drink your medicine.”
Yusun could not let MoonWon’s heart further distance itself from this place. As if to dispel the awkward tension in the air, she held out the medicine bowl to MoonWon.
MoonWon took the bowl and lifted it to her lips.
* * *
At the doctor’s orders to go out and take a walk at least once a month, MoonWon went outside.
She walked with no destination in mind and found herself at the flowerbed she had planted with her own two hands. As the weather grew colder, all the leaves on the trees had already fallen to the ground.
Her hands drew closer to the branches but suddenly stopped in midair.
“Chief Commander! Her Highness the Consort is here! Are you not going to see her at least once?”
MoonWon gasped when she heard that the Consort was here. She told herself she was fine, but her feet were shaking as she walked towards the direction of the voice.
“Are you planning on letting her die like this? How do you think she will survive if she is kicked out of the Palace?”
“She is not such a weak person to die even when she is told to die.”
“Chief Commander! On that day, the Consort is the one who protected you from the Crown Prince’s attempt to have you killed!”
“And she is also the one who gave orders to kill my wife and my Father-in-law.”
The desperate cries were met with cold replies. The conversation continued on with no end in sight. Rumors began to spread that Ju YongUn’s crimes were false allegations set by the Consort as well.
Groups began to move claiming that the truth must be revealed. Accusing her of being the true culprit, the opposing side began to work towards expelling her from her position.
With the blades drawing nearer to her throat, she must have become frantic. However, Heon also did not plan on stopping with her confinement.
“I definitely warned her that the moment she steps foot in this place, I will slit her throat.”
As Heon said these words, his soldiers began to surround them. The crying messenger began to tremble with fear.
However, if he left with empty hands, the Consort would kill him. He decided to play his final card.
“If the Consort collapses, then the Crown Prince will become the emperor. There is no way you can survive under his reign, Ch-Chief Commander!”
Heon suddenly burst into laughter at the man’s claim.
Whether it was the Consort or JaeHoon, they were of no importance to him.
“Leave the bamboo grove within the hour.”
“Chief Commander!”
“Don’t give me an opportunity to kill one of my mother’s men with my own hands.”
The man stepped back once he realized that Heon was completely serious. As if threatening him, the soldiers all took one step towards the man. The man’s faltering steps soon quickened into a sprint.
Watching the escaping man with tired eyes, Heon was just about to turn around when he suddenly froze.
When their eyes met, MoonWon quickly turned away. For some reason, the sight of her exiting through the door felt ominous.
“MoonWon!”
With hasty steps, Heon ran in front of her and grabbed her trembling hand.
“There is no reason for you to avoid them!”
The one who needed to pay for their crimes was still alive and well. The broken MoonWon was completely innocent.
Just like the bruise that would not go away, the deep wound in her heart continued to fester and claw at her.
“I’ll take my leave.”
MoonWon gave him a faint smile.
It was the first smile she had given him after everything that had happened. However, he did not feel relieved. It was the smile of a person who no longer had any attachment to this world. The affectionate woman he knew was no longer here.
When his grasp loosened, MoonWon passed by him as if nothing had happened.
Almost as if she didn’t plan on staying at this place for much longer.
* * *
Time continued to march on. Standing outside of the room, Hong-yeom let out a shaky breath.
“Mistress, I’m coming inside.”
All traces of her injuries had faded away. Only the bruise on her back and shoulder remained.
She continued to smile and reply back to him, but no one could say they were relieved by her change in behavior.
“Yusun-nim was busy, so I was tasked with bringing you your refreshments.”
Hong-yeom swallowed back the bile as he gazed at her flickering smile. The MoonWon who would diligently walk around the residence was no more.
“I heard that the doctor changed the medicine for your bruise.”
“It’ll heal on its own. I feel that all this ruckus is quite pointless.”
MoonWon accepted the cup of tea from Hong-yeom and turned her eyes back outside. Hong-yeom approached her. He did his best to put a bright smile on his face and sat down in front of her.
“The bruise on Mistress’s back was left by your father, right?”
From that fateful day on, no one was to speak of YongUn or his family to the Mistress. They were all afraid of making things more difficult for her in her weakened condition. Therefore, after days of walking on eggshells around her, Hong-yeom was the first to bring it up.
“A bruise left behind by the deceased won’t heal quickly, Mistress.”
For the first time in a while, MoonWon’s peaceful eyes trembled. Now that the conversation had begun, Hong-yeom didn’t know how it would end. But he hadn’t sent her out of the residence only for her to return this way.
“I had bruises on both of my shoulders. My mother pushed me away so that I wouldn’t get hurt.”
After returning to the bamboo grove, MoonWon would always look out into the distance. However, her eyes were now gazing into Hong-yeom’s.
If time wouldn’t heal it, then it needed to be forced out. And the only one who could take it out was someone who had gone through something similar. Like him.
“If my mother hadn’t intervened, I would have died. But rather than feeling grateful, I was angry. My mother died, and I survived at the price of my mother’s life. I didn’t know what she wanted me to do with my life when it came at such a steep cost.”
The questions that had filled her head were now coming out of Hong-yeom’s mouth.
He tried to remain calm, but his mouth was running dry and his hands were shaking.
He wasn’t much of a talker, so he wasn’t sure how to say it. He only hoped that his truth would reach her. He hoped that MoonWon would want to live again.
“I wondered why she saved me only to have me live such a difficult life. If only I had known, wouldn’t I have pushed my mother away and died instead? Of course, the survivor would have only hated the dead, but I think the dead would still have wanted to save them.”
“……”
“Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m still not angry about it all.”
Although MoonWon didn’t say anything, her eyes were still gazing at Hong-yeom. Hong-yeom looked back at her and gave her a simple smile.
“Now I’m grateful that I’m alive. Because I met you when I didn’t know the answer, Mistress.”
MoonWon’s dry eyes began to grow damp. For the first time, a crack formed in the wall she had built around her heart.
MoonWon’s hand tightly grasped Hong-yeom’s. He hoped his warmth would reach her. He hoped the relief she had given him would soothe her in return.
“I know it seems difficult, but please live. I’m sure your father would have wanted you to live. I know it may feel so painful that it’s hard to breathe, but as the days pass, you’ll find meaning in life again.”
“……”
“I’m glad you’re still alive.”
He finished what he had come to say. He merely relayed his words to her. The rest was up to MoonWon.
“Please rest, Mistress.”
After bidding her farewell, Hong-yeom went outside.
As soon as he exited the room, he saw someone and bowed.
“Thank you for doing me this favor, Master.”
When Hong-yeom told Heon that he might be able to break through her wall, Heon decided to give it a try. Even if it wasn’t successful, it was worth a try.
As someone who never received his parents’ love, Heon could not understand MoonWon’s suffering. However, if it was a child who had gone through a similar experience, and if that child was one that MoonWon had treasured, it was worth giving it a try.
“You may go.”
With Heon’s permission, Hong-yeom straightened up and was just about to leave. Suddenly, a wail drifted out of the closed door of MoonWon’s bedroom. The suffocating silence was replaced by the sounds of her bitter sobs.
Perturbed by her weeping, Hong-yeom lowered his head.
Even though he knew that the cries were necessary, he didn’t know what to do.
“Send everyone away.”
Junghwan nodded when he heard Heon’s order.
Heon turned back to the room where MoonWon’s hidden wails were bursting out.
Although he could only see his back, Hong-yeom saw that Heon’s shoulders were heavy from the burden he carried.
* * *
‘We must be cautious at this time, Your Highness.’
JaeHoon’s eyes narrowed as he stood in front of the bamboo grove.
When evidence that Ju YongUn’s crimes were actually fabricated by the Consort had begun to circulate, JaeHoon moved first. He wasn’t trying to eliminate the Chief Commander. He was trying to hinder the Consort’s objective. He deluded himself into thinking that this was all a misunderstanding.
“One must walk through a raging storm in order to see results, Lee Moon.”
Something that Consort Yu didn’t have but something JaeHoon did have. The Emperor’s blood. The status as the firstborn son that was given the promise of becoming the heir.
“You may lose everything in an attempt to obtain one maiden.”
“This is no longer a problem regarding MoonWon alone.”
He could no longer stand by and let Consort Yu and Heon make a fool of him. When he ruled SeoMoon, he would need a Chief Commander who would lower his head to him.
“We must clash at least once.”
Just as he took a step inside the grove, soldiers and servants stepped forward and stood in a line on both sides as if they’d been waiting for him.
At the end of the line stood Heon who was wearing simple clothing. He stared at JaeHoon with calm eyes.
“You’ve arrived, Your Highness?”
He was acting politely, but JaeHoon could feel no emotion from him.
“I apologize for my unexpected arrival.”
“Please come in.”
JaeHoon followed Heon and looked around at his surroundings. He had hoped, but as expected, MoonWon was nowhere to be seen. When Heon gestured to a spot, JaeHoon sat down and lifted his head.
“I do not want to beat around the bush. The Emperor has been called senile, and Consort Yu’s reputation has been thrown in the mud beyond repair.”
He didn’t plan on sending Heon away to the nation of Ju. Nor did he plan on letting Heon take everything away from him.
If JaeHoon couldn’t have it, no one could.
“I will help you take down Consort Yu. You and I have not had animosity between us from the start, isn’t that so? We may return to the way we were before, so make your decision.”
The demand was so ridiculous that Heon couldn’t find the words to form his answer.
JaeHoon was definitely not in a position to be making demands of Heon. Once Heon began preparing to leave the bamboo grove, the Emperor sent an envoy almost daily in order to try and persuade him to change his mind.
However, JaeHoon had come to strike a deal with Heon. Heon wasn’t sure if he was being reckless or foolish, but the Crown Prince was currently trying to walk a different path than the one the Emperor had planned.
“You have many things you want to protect. If you give me one thing, you will be able to protect every single one of them. I cannot trust you as my Imperial Father has done. You must show me your loyalty.”
“Don’t you think coveting the wife of your subordinate will only be a weakness to your authority?”
“Aren’t you the one who dragged the woman meant to be the Crown Princess to this place and broke her?!”
“Must you be dethroned in order to come to your senses?”
“Lee Heon!”
JaeHoon slammed his fist on the table and got to his feet, but Heon remained calm.
Neither the Consort nor the Crown Prince mattered anymore.
He had struck a disagreeable deal with the Emperor in order to protect the bamboo grove his father had left behind. If he had to go against the entire nation of SeoMoon in order to protect MoonWon, he’d do it any day.
“You… How dare you!”
When Heon stood up, JaeHoon’s mouth opened once more.
Although his final step was to abandon SeoMoon and choose to serve another nation, Heon had not done it just yet.
Once the Consort came out of the Palace, his next target was JaeHoon.
“Don’t you think you should return to the Palace before the sky turns dark? This place is too shabby, so I do not think we have a proper room for you to stay in.”
“Do you think you can live if you act like this?”
“It is true that the Consort’s wrongdoings are coming to light, but haven’t you heard the remarks going around regarding Your Highness’s temperament as well?”
JaeHoon’s eyes widened.
“Now that the flame has been sparked, it’s only a matter of time before it turns into a ferocious fire. Whether you stay as an idle onlooker and burn to death or whether you move and get burned, it is ultimately your choice.”
“How dare you!”
“Why don’t you escort His Highness out?”
The Crown Prince’s bodyguards who were standing by the door approached them. Although they glared at Heon with murderous eyes, he remained calm.
As he was escorted out with his guards, JaeHoon staggered.
“Junghwan, close all the gates.”
After giving his command, Heon turned his eyes to the closed door.
For the first time, a flash of apprehension passed through his face. By the time he reached the door, the strange sense of someone’s presence had already disappeared.
Heon gazed at the closed door as his exhausted face stiffened.
* * *
MoonWon was gazing at the tree that now consisted only of thin branches. She looked up and glanced at Heon.
MoonWon had wept bitterly for a long time as she clung onto Heon. The tears that had been locked away in her heart had now burst out. The only thing Heon could do for her was to accept all the cries that flowed out of her lips.
“You’ll catch a cold if you stay like this.”
MoonWon’s eyes turned from the tree to Heon as he placed a cape around her shoulders. Although the sturdy walls around her heart had collapsed, the deep wounds still remained.
Heon embraced her from behind and buried his face against her shoulder.
“You heard it, right?”
MoonWon did not answer him. When she did not deny it, Heon let out a sigh.
Even though she needed to rest and recover, bad things kept coming up one after another.
“Nothing of importance was said. Don’t take it to heart.”
“This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t married you.”
Heon’s mouth remained frozen shut at the sudden onslaught of shock and terror. He quickly recovered from his alarm and spoke up.
“This marriage happened because I grabbed your hand. So don’t ever think like that.”
This was his responsibility for accepting a shocking proposal. This was his fault for pushing her away even though she kept trying her best.
“You don’t have to worry about it. I will take care of it.”
“This won’t be the end of it. This may actually be the beginning.”
Her smiling face was nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t saying that everything would be alright. That everything would get better. Sometimes he thought he’d caught her heart. But then he’d feel as if she were going to fade away, plunging him back into a pit of anxiety.
Traces of her affection or her desires were no longer visible. Heon grabbed her as if she were going to disappear at any moment.
When Heon wound his arm around her hips, MoonWon grabbed it.
“I’m going to live. I decided to try and live, more or less.”
She didn’t like feeling the nervous tension in his arm.
Although this was a marriage that was only left with scars, her heart continued to race whenever she saw Heon. Whenever she saw him ignore his own wounds in order to protect hers, she hated him. But she also felt sorry.
He was turning the Consort and the Crown Prince into his enemies. Although she didn’t want to acknowledge it, this was all happening because of her.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
When she made the decision to live, all the details regarding their current situation appeared before her eyes. In her dangerous world, Heon was enduring it alone.
Although he said that he was doing this for himself, from what MoonWon could see, he was currently tearing down all the hard work he had cultivated over the years.
Leaning back against him, MoonWon straightened up and turned around. Heon quickly brought her into his embrace.
“Just forget everything that happened today.”