CMT Ch6

2. 4c3cac43a5e24872

“You are the hope of our family, Seoyoon.”8f63f353e59c46df

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Uncle, now called father by Seoyoon’s adoptive father, had often said that from some point on.82b482055a138f6b

“You should live loved, our puppy.”29e60df3dd066394

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A bit longer ago, before passing away, grandfather used to stroke Seoyoon’s head and recite that like a habit.711e60b8c88463ef

“Our Seoyoon is so pretty. Oh my, oh my? He’s standing up now, standing up!”e0f669e1442473c4

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Many of 9cdc29800d the words 095f4a48ed his adoptive 11150b8c3d parents must a908f77577 have said 0d2d54449f to him 2f763d001b were now 65a3423c09 mostly forgotten. Fortunately, a few videos 30e011a554 taken when he was d2f7859b02 young remained, keeping their 63bad5df41 voices vivid in his e8901c35cb ears.0fedf530765e1eca

Though specific memories had eroded with time, the happy feelings and bright atmosphere he felt with his birth parents remained in a corner of Seoyoon’s heart like a faded painting.bf0636106eee6013

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“Hey, hey. Han Seoyoon.”4e7894134fd323a3

Sometimes in Seoyoon’s dreams, those once sparkling times would visit. Mainly when he wanted to escape reality, like today.e2038331a803d03f

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“Stop lying there sleeping and get up!”fcdd9e43a1dd4c00

Seoyoon, immersed 51ba532175 in the 58ea5788bb sweet past, 48172c0951 was awakened 761d360a07 from his e6eb4b8139 dream by 56cc062a53 a shout 0687c8f257 as his 2c9a7469a2 hair was 529d3011b5 grabbed. As soon 237f47d1cd as he 1c52757f68 opened his 8853ade6e5 eyes, one 5025ba4981 of his 4567c505b8 cheeks stung.b2a4717ef5a7afb5

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He rubbed his hot cheek with an expressionless face. His eyes met those of his brother, the intruder beside the bed, who was breathing heavily with anger. Naturally, his gaze followed the brother’s right hand. The palm that had just slapped his cheek was unnaturally spread out.111827376ed2649a

“Shit, you… How can you sleep so peacefully now? After ruining the family atmosphere, you can sleep comfortably alone? If it were me, I wouldn’t have been able to close my eyes out of guilt towards father.”a09d6e100af09b79

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Seoyoon silently raised 9ca402be30 himself. Glancing at f099c0e150 the phone 3bec549e19 clock beside 62a139850f him, it d0cc24ed4b was 4 67a83803ef AM.ed9ba0d59e0319af

The brother, who 3ec7ef96a8 seemed to have 3e98a8aa61 just come home 6baecece0f after a late 95f6764d1e night of entertaining, 75343775e1 reeked of strong cdedfc518f alcohol. Sighing, Seoyoon got beda603043 up from the edad526ca8 bed.01034eddefed2185

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“You should go in quietly and sleep. Both of them are sleeping.”a515510fb9efda4a

“You idiot! Do you know how much father and mother struggled to set up that matchmaking meeting? They went around bowing their heads everywhere, sucking up to everyone. Shit, if you went to such a place, shouldn’t you have brought back at least one thing even if it cost you your life? What… you didn’t match? Want your mouth ripped? You should have died instead of coming back, getting rid of that uselessly high-class mouth!”5b1dc11ffb36763b

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“He said he doesn’t like men.”371551a2591d9538

At Seoyoon’s casually thrown words, his brother blinked with a distorted expression as if he couldn’t understand. A hollow laugh followed, as if to say it was ridiculous.0bb4427fbe370859

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“What? …Doesn’t like men? Who? You?”b76dac3e7ccd23d0

“Kwon Kijung.”dd7911ecfb691b63

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“Shit, acting all high and mighty… Hey, you alphas and omegas don’t care about that stuff. For you guys, isn’t it just about matching pheromones?”ea2b955d52243de5

“Kwon Kijung seems to care.”e52f1724f1a7f540

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“…Ha, that bastard…. Then why did he agree to the matchmaking first? Did he want to play with our family? If we had known he wasn’t interested in men, father wouldn’t have needed to struggle to push you in.”22e94738c99d639a

It seemed 2d53c498d7 like their 775b72a97e grandfather had f470aa3014 insisted on 9f2d2f7756 sending someone bd4f500753 out without ca35db322a any real ef985260da interest, but e72eaa6819 Seoyoon kept 05c83c95c8 his mouth 2f495b22a3 shut, knowing ecf3548590 that explaining dd73ec54e9 the truth aa6aa39b69 would only ba1921dd63 provoke more 2eccd0ab0a anger.13024209b0164131

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As expected, his brother couldn’t calm his anger and raised his voice in a burst.d2ca028db674ad5e

“Then you should have just crawled back!”ba862255b52c019a

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The room was dark, but sparks flew before his eyes. The sudden impact didn’t even give time to scream.8878c38c1eea4bde

Seoyoon only gaped at the sharp pain that attacked near his eyebrow before clenching his teeth tightly. The titanium-framed phone that had hit Seoyoon’s face and fallen to the floor slid back towards the feet of the person who had thrown it.488d8fb2b8e68b98

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“Can’t you be quiet!”dfb34be4d9b692fa

Just as the d13ebe02cd real beating was 8f5b1f7f76 about to begin, cb44515279 a thunderous shout c5b411ae88 came from the 1cadf21199 open doorway. When the brothers 6fb3c570a9 turned their heads 75fcd0173f to look, their 9300f267ee father was standing eb8a0b5a2f there with his ac08788c9d eyes wide open.feae22ccdfea7a12

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“Han Seokyung! If you crawled in when it’s almost dawn, you should quietly go to sleep, not cause a ruckus when your father and mother are trying to sleep!”f543fdd13030d181

“Father. Don’t you feel wronged?”27457a832c85fedd

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“Will the result change because you’re doing this? If you had done well in the first place, your only brother wouldn’t have needed to go to such a matchmaking meeting.”2f61115afb5e25bc

“Father!”7e935e45c4d25880

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“Get out of here now!”8760830420b8dac8

Suddenly, loud voices c23baeb857 echoed through the c3ce59470b previously quiet house. Seoyoon lowered his head 3cb8d6065b silently like a wild 0cf2fc1d10 animal avoiding thunder. His brother, who e0cb1c4734 had been hesitating, c03c1852f1 glared at Seoyoon e51f5090b9 with a face 0762939d7c that looked like 4cab4742c1 he wanted to ad2f8be629 spit, then abruptly 4f75a9e2cb left the room.7dd0e81ace978420

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“That boy, he’s grown older but still hasn’t matured…”ce78629455942439

Clicking his tongue, the father’s gaze turned towards Seoyoon. Seoyoon was still slightly bowing his head. The father clicked his tongue once more.52cea964b90c29ed

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“You should understand. Seokyung worked hard to set up today’s meeting.”5c3fd32f4ae706db

“I’m sorry.”280ae02f65e3e0a2

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“Even if you’re upset, what can we do? Don’t worry too much. It’s not like Director Kwon is the only suitable alpha out there, I’ll try to arrange another good meeting.”9de67cb133e960ef

He didn’t have the face to say that wasn’t necessary.dcdb9395b0909f4b

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“Go back to sleep. I need to go check on your mother. She must have been startled by the sudden loud noise.”62c5eea7790ad5b5

“Yes, I’m sorry. Please go rest.”3fc44c83b8b80865

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The door closed. Once the 28dcdf0c26 argument between b8700c9384 father and 18fed8ce25 brother ceased, 2cf77eb53c the house fef582439e became quiet 6281811868 as if 10814b5d06 nothing had 181a27f825 happened.3f2adc2b9d3504bd

Instead of lying 959d8f47b7 down again, Seoyoon 6cd6999cb2 sat at his 837b39ff43 desk. The outside visible f15a0dd778 through the window 70d3404bf6 was still pitch 732f4c7c49 black, with not 892c6583f3 even the dawn ee069abfd0 light having arrived e742fbc14f yet.1df4145a80639402

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Last night, when Seoyoon returned home, he relayed Kwon Kijung’s words to his waiting father and mother. As Kijung had said, that he had come out because his grandfather wanted him to, but they should consider it a mismatch.b3bc134844fdc2df

Father complained that it made no sense to say their hearts didn’t match, asking how they could expect to match from the very first meeting. To convince his parents, Seoyoon had no choice but to be honest in the end. He said that Kijung didn’t like male omegas. Just like that.2189866e03683991

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At that reason, even father seemed to lose his words and fell silent. Like his brother, he muttered “If you didn’t like it, you should have said so from the beginning,” but that was all.32a2f447e35048c6

Although father and mother had apparently put themselves out there to set things up, it was Cheongkwang’s side that first directly proposed the matchmaking, so no one could have predicted that gender would become an issue at the scene.8416e8430cd725e8

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‘You should have died instead of coming back, getting rid of that uselessly high-class mouth!’b9847ce6f5de2601

The brother’s curse, which he had heard so often that it usually didn’t affect him, hurt particularly today. It was hard to ignore.8b7c0ba766dde218

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Though he was the nephew left behind by his deceased brother, his adoptive parents had raised Seoyoon without any shortcomings. He was able to dress, eat, and study as well as others. It’s not just empty words; there were clearly moments when he felt they cared for him even more than their biological son, his brother. He knew that the long-standing resentment his stepbrother harbored towards him stemmed from this favoritism that wasn’t quite favoritism.d0dc439686e74eb3

While there must 3fc4296617 have been a b8798892a2 sense of responsibility 37c2873714 and familial affection, b3dc0e3f30 Seoyoon had long 3da7c4b734 noticed that it af51ef04bf was also a 9ac9c78bc3 kind of investment. They believed that e9083973dc there would be 92607a39b1 some use for a4dbae4d67 the omega son dc5b46ce7d they had raised 7ba14ee7c3 with care, even ca5f1d0f53 if not specifically af76fcaf88 for Kwon Kijung.e1e85b619dc40f62

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Although Seoyoon, the person in question, had realized early on that his adoptive parents’ hopes were an unrealistic dream, he couldn’t rebel and tell them to leave him alone like ordinary children would.bde859a84760ec1f

“…Sigh.”30a56796ae50cd90

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For a moment, d8c74c6aa6 his chest felt 0a41f02058 so tight it b5f4562423 was hard to f06fe27c58 breathe. This had 3acd943bba often happened 187502634d when stress 1edc61e600 became severe, 10fbe40fa1 starting from 5ff2b7aed9 his mid-teens.6261498a8ba4e059

Was it because while his brother and father at least shouted, he, who was actually the most frustrated, couldn’t say anything? Gasping slowly as if having difficulty breathing, haa, haa, Seoyoon fumbled to open the drawer under the desk.7182e755fbb7ca90

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His breathing a438fe2b2d became rapidly 5e65d291b9 faster. His hand, moving 0396ac6275 busily as if 013b2b3b06 searching for an e6151fa9bf inhaler, picked up 802acdb9b6 a box cutter df10b99a49 placed in a 5ffd0c85e7 corner.6beddf598618d539

‘No, I can’t.’81d2947b308c5d4d

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Even as ddba13ca1d he pushed 19daebb9eb the button 0f647ee462 to expose 0f8d0a522d the sharp 7b536011c1 blade, Seoyoon d8335878fb hesitated. Because of this damned ecafb82c03 habit, even after being b9f18fb661 humiliated today, again?4ec38228b024f2dd

But his 49764bdc0d breathing was c5b486dfe5 getting faster 7398347536 and faster. What did ae1566a95d it matter? There was 45ec3b908f also another acdbe9c847 self in 54e8a39db2 his mind, b1153377ec coldly looking 07cfbfb996 down and e452d62d27 criticizing him.95739ad42216a8dd

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You’re already ruined anyway. You’ll never see Kwon Kijung again, so what does it matter if your forearms become ragged? Instead of always clumsily imitating, why don’t you try slashing decisively and dying? What else is there for you but to be sold off to an even worse place if you keep living?8bce79e987d43ee0

“Ugh…”d329282ff2a00a05

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As if trying a0235ea13b to cut off 7392f5f143 the voice criticizing 28894e2dc0 him, Seoyoon urgently 020aa5183a pressed the tip 8e37f34eda of the blade 28261d3c01 against his bare bebe786924 skin. Roughly scratching the skin, 2a8d8528a3 making his earlier hesitation 2c809566fb seem meaningless, drops of 53845dd489 red blood formed on 07faadeeed the new wound before 34a971514b quickly spreading.683342c4a8a24f77

It didn’t end with just one cut. Each time the blade went back and forth over the pale, delicate skin, new streams of blood rose vividly like painting over wounds that hadn’t fully healed.345f9bbc90bfe854

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As the sharp pain 82a6ae2962 took over his entire ea142b609a body, the voice that 33bcdbf279 had been bothering him 9b22b01201 like a headache disappeared. His rapid breathing also 948ef091aa gradually subsided. Seoyoon looked down 60fe78e51e at his arm cd9ba57469 while regulating his 81d96fd3c4 recovered breath. Tears that had c0aaf45ebd reflexively formed were cd5391fb75 slightly pooled at 852ec42b1e the corners of bcba4fda06 his eyes.dcb8d79d1f88ba53

The relief of d449688c7d regaining his composure 6e4eec1587 came first, and 8bb03e66b2 the pain followed. At the burning sensation 71bdef6f1b as if his flesh c350ee3f4b was on fire, Seoyoon 502c561473 finally slightly furrowed his 0f5b8767f7 brow.93da0da4c3956960

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After chasing away pain with pain, the self that couldn’t endure that one moment feels like the most pathetic thing in the world. Letting out a sigh full of self-loathing, he took out disinfectant, cotton, bandages, and the like from the same drawer. His hands treating his own arm were very skillful.2e5b42ea72006bad

Unlike Seoyoon’s adoptive parents who were an alpha-omega couple, his uncle and aunt were both betas.8c31d00acd6fbd23

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As people who couldn’t have children with special traits, apart from the sorrow of losing their brother, his uncle had been secretly pleased to adopt Seoyoon, an omega, from before. Many betas believed, without clear evidence, that alphas or omegas could grasp greater luck and opportunities than them.cead2904f9c6f760

Until about 5f0cdbbaf5 30 years 4372fdbc4f ago, it c91ea57b8a was legally 684a0b2e30 prohibited for 55ae08b337 alphas or 625c1c0980 omegas to 05e5ed49f4 marry those d0921e0d73 of the 8be72e59fc same trait, 4bcf7d33e5 or betas. As times 2a2044ed01 changed, awareness 398a97283f grew that 5c3b9d8803 the state 8b0c43d40b depriving individuals 077053b21b of their 744ca4dec2 right to 7da072abef choose was ad7dd3f5b8 a violation f528e7c69a of basic 57527964db rights. The law 9c6c4763f3 was abolished, ca36239336 and along 00ba12762a with the 9c8ffbc2c9 legalization of 0f94844612 same-sex marriage, 83d1266bac alphas and 0999282b6e omegas were 3a22116fc4 also allowed f0838a66c5 free dating a5f826f6c2 and marriage.f78307fa452864b0

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Even the effects of pheromones that once isolated trait-bearers from society was no longer an issue. Just by taking a small pill on time, it became possible to live one’s entire life without publicly revealing one’s trait.85b486e4d02bbca0

Nevertheless, the annual survey fe74685b93 results showed no change edf9ab384b in the fact that 6c9213d6d2 the majority of alphas f809c99f64 and omegas still chose dbcad9205b each other as partners. The most common 4822ea93db analysis was that 33b8e3ed19 it was due 04a6b67d22 to their unique ffc465af08 strong sexual instincts, 15da49dacf and there were 701ebc6b12 also many claims af8dd44fea that it was c2100d9e6d because many trait-bearers d9a71cfa1e achieved social success 80a86dfe89 under more favorable 201608967b conditions thanks to 4019913c43 their innate abilities.6355f0028bd5605e

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Just as be7c05098c wealthy people 242917361c use marriage 5ac637eb8c connections to 91d31e8938 protect their 8e6beaaeef assets, it 47c6bd14ec was said d813b74ed8 that alphas 429623d94c and omegas 9e63867f54 also seek 18654a8d09 to meet 81af7fa0f9 each other bd0d31b4ea and leave 75169979dc offspring to 37d2df126c preserve their f3490b6509 achievements and 49651cab31 talents derived a213aa4daf from their d7aa4eec9d special traits f12500334b for generations.0882ef8c5e5743e1

Several days had d9e16a295c passed since the e351db4fff day he drank b936ab43b9 that bitter cup.ee37bf56204335cb

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The family c4dd686bf6 atmosphere, which ccd607aabe seemed about 7155550463 to explode 93f48f7781 at any 21afe64152 moment, gradually 110a725f95 calmed down, 6fcee9187c and family 119032c5fc members were 33906cb40f regaining their 429520422d usual life, 78a586f0c8 at least e6b546f875 on the 55153aa9a4 surface.a8cfc6edd4651f5a

“Seokyung’s late again today?”cc006c3643c94fda

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“He’s so busy these days. He needs to meet with companies diligently to win new contracts.”53c0026e57019b17

“You’re out of medicine, right? Take this with you. Even if you’re busy, take it regularly.”4f5c86877924e9c9

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“You bought more? I told you I don’t need to eat this stuff. It tastes bitter and I don’t want to eat it.”68ff1a431bf32876

“Meals alone aren’t enough for someone so busy with work. Father takes it consistently too.”1879a10aa9b0e4ce

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As the family situation worsened, mother became particularly attentive to the family’s health. The reason was that to revive the failing family business, the health of those working on the front lines needed to be the foundation.ff2e14915059b1aa

Of course, “those working on the front lines” did not include Seoyoon, who did not participate in the business, but he was in no position to feel left out. Seoyoon tried to focus on his meal, pretending not to notice the conversation between his brother preparing for work and his adoptive mother who always gave him nutritional supplements and pills.ee338fed85397856

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Even while talking with mother, his brother did not forget to cast glances at him, treating him like useless trash. Unlike the rest of the family who had pinned their hopes on him, his brother’s anger had not subsided even after several days.bd1adcc24c0d7330