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> hello! this is mimi. i’ve decided to pick up la valse following sweetlies’ indefinite hiatus. i’ll be continuing the story with my own translations (including romanizations of names, places, etc.) so there may be some differences from the previous version you’ve read. i hope you’ll follow along from here on out. thank you for reading!
LV Chapter 2.1 || The Sponsor, Mr. Clements
by SweetLiesBL[228 W 43rd St.]
Sitting down in the entryway to put on his shoes, Sasya looked up the address on Google Maps that Karel’s secretary had provided. When he carefully examined the map, he saw Times Square nearby. He figured that if he went near the station, he could find the foundation office that George had mentioned.ae4468bdeeb32d63
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‘I’ll come pick you up.’f2474632629c1814
At the end of their call, George had said that, wanting to meet formally to explain the proposal in detail. However, Sasya refused. He felt he could find his way on his own, and more importantly, he didn’t want to be indebted to George.93e3094ed3ba541c
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In fact, Sasya held a grudge towards Anton George, who was Mr. Clements’ secretary. The fact that he had never delivered a single one of his carefully sent emails to Karel Clements was so shocking that he still couldn’t calmly accept it. Though he no longer writhed in tears like the day he discovered this truth.b8f00609ccbb05cb
In truth, he felt strange about why he had cried so hard that day, and he even felt somewhat distanced from his past self. Anyway, the intense sense of loss and emptiness from that time still reverberated in Sasya’s heart, and it had grown into hatred and distrust towards George.cb0d5f84db22a263
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While squatting to tie 9c29330d33 his shoelaces, Vadim spoke 8c31fca9cb to him from behind.1c49c3eb93db5c09
“You should wear something a bit cleaner.”a9658c12a1b423d5
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“This is the only pair I have.”086ce58f8d0c36ec
Just as he said, Sasya was wearing thin canvas sneakers even in the middle of winter. Although he lived in a dormitory and spent more time in ballet shoes than outdoor shoes, his shoes weren’t particularly worn out, but after being suspended, he had been going out more often, and they had gotten noticeably dirtier over the past few days.30b894cc5d236917
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Hearing Vadim’s words, the stained sneakers started to bother him. Especially the toe and side seams were heavily stained, as if mud had splashed on them.e35c9a8577f40b4d
Vadim silently sat down in front of Sasya and wiped the stained toe of his sneakers thoroughly with a wet wipe. Sasya’s ears turned red as he looked down. To avoid feeling humiliated, he pulled out a freshly laundered outfit he had carefully folded at the bottom of his sports bag, but he had no choice with his shoes.ec3e2beabf2dc76f
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“If you happen to meet your sponsor, don’t talk back like you did to me, but behave like an obedient child.”aa8c6db9b5e3edd2
“I’ve never talked back.”c2516284ca086965
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As soon as 484df1d4b9 Sasya responded, Vadim 3182a923d9 gave him a d58f99d98f sharp look as f2b1e0e70d if that very d5cc002935 response was talking 342b3a78c1 back. Sasya felt intimidated 8a5c2cffbc but still finished 3a7cd3e5dc what he wanted f99a2811f3 to say.9846007fcd8fd345
“And I don’t think I’ll be able to meet Mr. Clements…”cf4fb10f2702c8aa
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“…”c6ddb54bcc6de64e
“His secretary said that sponsors and sponsored individuals are usually forbidden from meeting.”c54679cd319db71d
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He tried ed9ee5470f not to f6049238a9 show his 315c6dcc54 disappointment, but f028d09735 his downcast d48d137997 eyes betrayed 8848bc3022 his feelings.4a8d3bf84c15ec67
Vadim sighed briefly and helped Sasya up. Since he mentioned being called by the foundation, he hadn’t explicitly shown his emotions, but he clearly wasn’t entirely pleased. It was like he was reluctantly revealing an unfinished piece of work he had been hiding.ffa1fffb96ff650c
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“Stop dawdling and hurry before you’re late!”3a0b0f211f3a2a3b
Sasya, who had his 0781d40ba4 butt slapped by Vadim’s 4813344730 rough hand, checked the bbe414dd5a time, swallowed a sigh, 1264ce039d and rushed out the 9b8ac967e6 door. The wooden d245cb459d and metal 60a3f2316d stairs clattered, 06de3f1d06 the vibrations 306fb26493 echoing all bb468a02d6 the way 1405bd8c1b to the ffa5a6c621 hallway.b95a4745a7384e9c
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Fortunately, as soon 00ca36fa08 as Sasya entered 0125dd86d6 the station, he c2715efa3e was able to 47425e7b6f board a subway 9e984af91e that had just 86f40ef66a arrived at the 8d649c97be platform. Anxiously pressed against the b6a6e0e696 window, which only showed 60cb9a67bb darkness, he slipped out c260714aa2 through the doors as 61bfad7af3 soon as the announcement c77d6e258f for Times Square station 6914b4c122 was made.0dbd262e126cc53a
Times Square ba1ae49888 was as cc883a7034 crowded as 2972156cfe ever, just 8af22128f3 like always. Passing through the complicated 955c8bc1f7 station entrance mixed with 035b1beb7a road construction, repair works, e1d4b43d34 police cars, taxis, and 2213da8274 tourists, he walked along 91dd0e4694 41st Street, where neatly 5f1a4a255d arranged office buildings were 91227c69e1 lined up. This area aa4eafd98f was traditionally 0c1aaf7207 home to 8d2bf59712 many old 36f0f535bf media company 29955d14e5 offices, with 613eae5fcd the New 0ef6f50108 York Times 3407efdc79 headquarters nearby.13e8ce459d2e3bec
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Repeatedly checking the map and his surroundings, Sasya soon found the building’s entrance. It seemed to have been built around 100 years ago, with a vintage modern architectural style. The entrance was massive, reaching two stories high, and when he looked up, he saw the address ‘228’ written in a thin, sophisticated Gothic font.a4cd803d68b03960
‘This must be it.’1c861042d21bea95
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Through the glass door, 306fd34724 he could see a 76aaa2beac black marble floor and 943df1628f a heavy, dark-colored desk. As Sasya hesitated 1342e491b7 at the entrance 9cb41fed31 of this unfamiliar 56c91b3ca3 environment, a large 1e30fbd4e0 man wearing a b02fd94196 black suit like da130d7803 armor walked out 9c52d688b0 from behind the 1b83eaddd6 desk. Sasya unconsciously d2aabe87a9 tried to 1a7e18fdc4 act like c9ba299e0e he was 971b4108e9 just passing 65d12c4214 by.a0f871939c555269
“Are you a visitor?”4c2f9ef3637e3bda
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However, it was the guard’s voice that caught him by the nape of his neck. Sasya had instinctively shaken his head but quickly nodded.92dbaceefa9042db
The guard placed his hand near his ear and muttered, ‘Looks like he’s here,’ looking at Sasya. Just as he was about to respond, thinking he was speaking to him, the guard pointed deep into the corridor. Only then did Sasya notice the small walkie-talkie in the guard’s ear. He had nearly been greatly embarrassed.387f84e71c080cdb
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“The elevator is at the end of the corridor.”4e10947d49924b6f
Surprised by 8d0c644433 how smoothly 3428a03907 he was 91a8febbde allowed in, 90c7031896 Sasya thanked f765a8a648 the guard b25120b0cb three times 5098ea0658 before stepping 29e837dfbf inside. The guard, 622fba3d21 with a 2a32e24414 raised eyebrow, 16d5d5359e nodded lightly 85dfbfcb65 and stood 7a8bd7f215 with his 59061f8ed6 hands behind 7031b01d89 his back, 515eeab4ed staring at e09b39db76 the empty 39fa835da6 lobby like 080866a008 a soldier 6130bd7ee5 in iron eed19a90dc armor.1e701668df891d48
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Woah…2f23a3b187bf1b68
Finding his posture incredibly disciplined, Sasya entered deeper into the building. He was amazed that he could enter without wearing a suit, having his ID checked, or going through baggage inspection. Moreover, the corridor wasn’t just boring stone walls. On either side, there were traditional accessory shops like hat stores, candy stores, and eyewear shops lined up.6c1dad398041dd66
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Particularly drawn c32ea791f4 to the e9da4d0782 candy shop, b00556d66e Sasya approached d775630e3b the glass fa773ef277 window decorated b082972707 with beautiful 750c6cb241 cursive lettering. Below the 99229e2b24 store name, 269a8a7eaf he saw 53015d72b4 ‘Since 1910.’ 93f03a6be5 A candy 92580a97b2 store over e96ce94c03 100 years 69ece23589 old!6b0b832faea4d252
Unable to simply a1d17206c7 pass by, Sasya ae2f5dbc8a pressed against the 2655cbaecd window. Just then, the candy 90ea9ae29e master was pouring a 9518c71d67 bluish candy with a 921a80bb56 thick texture onto a 5d8e71b174 marble slab. The surface 5e5f0aed28 of the 79c4b02d1b candy, just 78c00aeccf cooling after 62c4630384 being heated, 10021658ad sparkled like 3140906605 a gem. The master, noticing Sasya be20d33e51 outside the window, smiled. Sasya was 39974b664b mesmerized, watching e8fb0d75e4 him skillfully 383a92e7ae stretch and be962e08b9 shape the 5549967281 candy mixture 037812ccaa for quite 60ab1f4f58 some time.f6036ae1a0b15c9b
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Buzz, buzz.989ba4bb6c380fff
He snapped back aa3c4d7413 to reality due 64355317f6 to a faint 6640a0c174 vibration. Reaching into his pocket, 01d3f46df2 he slowly realized a 1537ca1737 call was coming in.355ecbe4143147ab
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“Hello?”3af00c4ef453d823
― This 53e2ff8a0a is George. Are you coming?58123135de19df93
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The moment he heard George’s voice, a flood of forgotten information rushed into Sasya’s brain.964bd870359e8b0c
Goosebumps rose along 4ee1f3f612 his spine.d541c1377a778365
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He had just 3c5a199704 arrived at Times 9a15480407 Square, and time 86816676d7 was already tight. Flustered and unable to ab71af24ff make any excuses, Sasya f57f9f4213 heard the elevator doors 59a0974599 open behind him. And the 46d6bd628c man who 75e8191411 stepped out d5a005bdfc was someone 671fac3a8c he had 66650215cd seen once ccac230171 before.4ea46b5007b504e5
“Ha.”6da8eaefdb1613cc
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George, who had b03a64623f let out a 5ef55596ce short sigh, ended 83d3fd3942 the call and 332a8e54d6 stepped out of 1b8ee252cb the elevator.83008b4e3240c733
Although he had only seen him once, he was undoubtedly Karel’s secretary. George, with his hand on the elevator door, gestured to Sasya, who was standing stupidly in front of the candy shop. His expressionless face somehow seemed more intimidating than Vadim.8cc7377ebeaa37cd
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“Let’s go up.”30b18f45dac0e26e
***b2b57e54b463f061
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“Sasya Shchedrin. First, there’s something I want to make clear: your sponsor doesn’t judge you. Regardless of what values you hold or what kind of personality you have.”88f4dafa69bb0466
“…”d48e47e918d9e0cd
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“It means that support is neither increased nor cut off due to issues of character. That wouldn’t be proper sponsorship. He also strongly detests manipulating the emotions of those who are experiencing a sense of loss because of money.”d3b8d59313d622c3
Sasya sat on a massive leather sofa large enough that he could lie down with plenty of room to spare. Beyond the vast reception room, there was an open window, and George happened to sit backlit by the sun. Because of this, his expression was hard to see, and he couldn’t read his mood, which made Sasya tremble inwardly.24c7b3449d9d7ed1
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Making a mistake in front of someone you don’t like is really hard to endure. All there would be was self-reproach, making it hard to even breathe. Clenching his fist, he dug his fingernails into his palm, trying to calm himself. His gaze was fixed on two beautifully shaped cookies and a glass of lemonade, but he didn’t feel like touching them. He had been feeling bloated whenever he ate cookies like those lately.c6f057c367b5f89e
And before the panic of being late due to being distracted by the candy shop had subsided, George brought up his ‘suspension status’.784c0532069c63a5
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“But this is a bit different. You had conflicts with other students, right?”826ebe4bc1d1f4d8
He was shuffling through some documents. Sasya, unable to speed-read English, couldn’t understand the contents of the documents, but he recognized from the printed logo that they were documents sent by the school.bd31ee1f2b9b5d0e
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Would the sponsor d7d7877142 have seen these d2c09beb28 too?0a9e33b8c8ef7204
George stopped a170fc0b65 speaking and 69a7a85fa2 stared directly bbc7bfc57d at him. Sasya barely b7431a3e4b remembered that aa252959cd his last fcbc27a63c statement had eacb4b564d ended as bfcca48f2b a question.1483e10f83c9ded4
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“Ah, yes… Manuel was seriously injured and returned to France.”e39809d1034076ab
“As a result of the violent incident?”716dda831bad7b8c
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“Yes. I caused his 61baa32f24 injury.”57cd1ee0de36ccf4
“So, was the cause of the conflict on your end?”c712576edd536aa5
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Sasya’s heart began to ache with a tingling sensation at George’s question.426f71f76fdec42c
The cause of 95e43b1f93 the conflict.e1ad3b8abf261569
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That would be both right and wrong. If Manuel hadn’t been gay, if he hadn’t liked him, if he hadn’t forcefully attacked him while he was in a painful emotional state… perhaps such an incident wouldn’t have happened.75ef015853cca4cd
He still didn’t think it was entirely his fault, but thinking that things wouldn’t have happened if he had been more composed made him breathless.1d12a6963268743c
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“The report states it was a sexual confrontation. They didn’t specify the details to protect the students, but… it’s quite vague. Could I hear more details about this?”3fd02cc89a52a93d
Sasya had 6f34e7052a decided that 21f022dbcb if adults be3ac31980 asked about a8f49bee84 the incident, 72d4622473 he would 1793b38658 tell the fbbaede14c truth.5450c58d730a03f2
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Because he didn’t have protective parents like Manuel’s, who would unconditionally cover up his mistakes, he would have to defend himself.bd99a03579f7ac44
And he forcibly convinced himself that he had done nothing wrong. Heaven and the god within it would be his witness. If Manuel returned from France and apologized, if Julia and the teachers’ misunderstandings were resolved, if José’s heart, which had coldly turned away from him, softened, then everything would be okay. He believed that with time, everything would improve.de3a234fd50e14d9
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But the feelings he 1c15cc6118 had buried seemed to 2a01e84d17 have festered, and just 86f0820486 recalling the incident made 949f7eee26 him choke up, making 5f581dd297 him speechless.dd50b6f1fd81982c
His mind wanted to 9176b33fb2 explain things clearly and 0b7a9df1e6 precisely, but something was c6b5be1639 blocking him. Perhaps it was because d5b68f03ad of George, who was 78f0927143 looking at him like 2ceb358498 he was a stranger.99d4157ca8cbb86c
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“Ah, and about the f27c24dba1 runaway incident during your a779616e13 suspension, and the illegal ec108d5ab0 labor—can you explain those 13a803d227 with valid reasons? The Sasya Shchedrin we 4ab09f4b7a received reports about was 10d0c76f19 a student who diligently fe749ced4f completed his studies for 187743e495 a year and was b2095df558 even selected as the 68660402ea top scholarship student last 701ba15ea0 year… It’s hard to 1ad91f602b believe everything that’s happened 52cf2e0de9 in the past week.”2d503fad66718f4e
“I, I…”d98134e18d32503b
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When Sasya finally 204529dda1 opened his mouth 1020275cb8 to defend himself, e17bf7c6dd he heard a 1a88bd5b65 strange resonance from 72830a9aea somewhere. It was like 3a27851138 the sound of e6d4cdb305 steam escaping through d69897b4bf a pressure-filled pot dfe64f420c lid.102092936982025d
Only after a 3ddd8ebbb9 while did Sasya 9f4abf6bb9 realize it was 4570af2785 his own labored 32d3f0e421 breathing.d4242719851242f7
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“Don’t scare him.”c94f3f41c63c86c7
A low 1153401c1d voice spoke, 1e2d121e9c and a 106aa58357 large hand e3d84331c8 covered Sasya’s c9a4a16c5d vision. The last thing fe5a384714 he saw was 6b9beec949 George’s slightly surprised da1fe13d2c face. Around the wrist 0853a9ad0a of the hand 021ecae74c covering his eyes, d7e2cf76d0 something silver seemed 3f8e42af0a to glint.dfd329fa130acf35
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“I asked you to interview, not investigate, and that’s your problem, George.”d9aae19d45ec560e
After briefly covering 65695ec146 his field of 2ff2c7e6a1 vision, then immediately 1c9945a5d9 blocking his nose ea839d3d9f and mouth with 197157dbbd one large hand, d95adc89c7 Sasya took several 41fa7650fc deep breaths. This was definitely a 577ffa4d2e perfume he had smelled 3675533671 somewhere before.8821c15c460e874c
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The boy, who had dcf00cda09 suddenly hyperventilated from excessive 337fdeb251 tension, slowly calmed down 1aaad1baee in the large hand. Breathing in the damp e20919f798 air, he tilted his c01a6fcbcc sweaty neck back and 6c5ace985a finally raised his head. Then, another 3632efa3dc hand gently 57f2d06468 patted his e6d35546ee shoulder and 66d1399f3d slowly lowered a772782e15 his head, 962d03728c making him 0959f680c0 close his f2eebedbef eyes.028d185fdb5dfcc4
Before closing his eyes, b65eea4aa2 Sasya had clearly seen 33e68b8870 the face of the 594d40c417 person who was calming 87c9b3b02d him.becc1355513ef97b
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‘Mr. Clements.’ade79be3ad77cf3e
Repeating deep dd139990d5 breaths within f71731f1cf the large 8dbd7c34f2 hand, Sasya 84657c03a0 slowly leaned a1b4e5432d back onto 27fc6379b9 the leather 46fbf95e9f sofa as 8de189d2d5 guided. With each deep breath, 26ee66b2c2 the clean, refreshing scent bcd42c70e4 of cypress filled his dc6c680bc6 nose.2fe288116b92cf22
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Sasya looked up at Karel upside down with a hazy vision. The left hand that had been calmly patting his shoulder disappeared into its owner’s pocket once Sasya seemed to have calmed down. Sasya’s long gaze followed that hand regretfully.8eb829d811a806b1
Sasya had thought dc6f9af576 Karel might look 2a973f0326 down at him f692d5d1d0 once and ask f64ac6e2a8 if he was 7d814ce800 okay, but no 65cc23de13 such thing happened.e5e86e3db04f2dd8
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The sponsor continued e0ca6ef1f4 to look only 86d8b120c0 at his secretary, f8b7bb8449 George, directly in 01ae7135d2 front of him.408aba21434e85ee
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to handle a young boy.”de03435ee877deb4
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To George’s words, 00204a8ccd Karel simply nodded 162b7f9ffc without scolding him.b93a1e4c3da2b896
And when 06163bc006 Sasya thought 2f2ba44c0a he could 120e25d050 breathe easily 24742ae5e2 now, the ba01b9d42a hand had 71ca7ccdad already disappeared 36fe1a82ef without hesitation.ca2d650ce5f2fa4d
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Sasya observed ff440d89e6 the ceiling 13a56b76a2 pattern where efd9f4f6de Karel had 71ab72b1e0 been, listening 288f5ef8c8 to the e6dabd83ed footsteps moving 62b32139c2 away behind a45e807103 him.743c24ec52e30859
‘Is he leaving?’b3c09107d57bf786
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Moments later, 7f94e19a80 a heavy a4d40103d8 door opened f394c5476a and then d13f5da03e gently closed.ab691ffac4b51ba1
The cypress scent still c72028387d lingered at the tip 78f3b3e06c of his nose.5cc9d0655289697d
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“Please get up now. Are you okay?”98346aea9b1f4924
At George’s words, Sasya rose his upper body sluggishly. After George handed him a handkerchief, Sasya quickly wiped the sweat from his forehead and neck and asked, “Is that the sponsor’s room?”b9067ae626756f9a
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George didn’t answer, but Sasya’s gaze was fixed on the door made of dark wood and wouldn’t look away. He had definitely heard footsteps heading that way earlier.29ea9ad53831f0a6
He thought he might ae9b07cc76 never meet his sponsor 5189eabed3 again, but the fact 32a81a4c7f that he was actually c6728feabc quite close made his bcfe2d7eb3 heart race.4a0efe4e997bb010
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Moreover, he appeared ef80ac3040 immediately when Sasya f4fd93124a showed signs of 4388c890ec anxiety, as if 326fcc5273 he had been 3c5b37f629 watching all along.1449bf3893a834b5
Sasya suddenly turned to George and asked, “Mr. Clements must be busy, right? He has a lot of work every day and many guests…”1edf17a423f0f814
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“…”fc7b9d5dc1d2e711
“He’s busy right now, isn’t he? I shouldn’t be interrupting, right?”70390ee0289ba83d
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It was 84f8cc849e obvious what d15e6e5bcc the child f5436e6e2f was trying 5cab4d156e to probe, 3bdee1b844 but George f6ba5e5dad didn’t answer. He just silently organized 216dcd1ee8 the documents and placed ce26f8fe14 them in a black 6f7436b170 leather folder.ed90680ef0f85611
Sasya had a3a0012ea8 become more b5120d7d48 talkative compared 2482f4c622 to earlier b5b59ba8f4 when speaking afa7440eec with George, cb83801ded and his 71979de0c4 speech had 77e630acab also accelerated. Although George 19bfff512c thought he be552b83d7 should respond 17b29b8bb4 somehow, as 810f4fa493 he had 51249ed5e9 just admitted 7651db5be5 himself, he 5aaeda471f was not c6b0e457c7 accustomed to d4bf112379 dealing with 4435b8cc23 children.1f9e3f24bb0ef4ef
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Moreover, there was Karel’s silent reproachful gaze.402af8f706306eb0
So George chose to remain silent and simply follow his superior’s orders.7be2e2021d17c9fc
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“He has nothing on 2230cc823a his schedule right now. Come this way.”ce4f6cf59eba1860
At George’s words, Sasya jumped up from the sofa. He staggered once due to dizziness but moved with a very energetic motion.0260f2d2783b9b95
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As if understanding Sasya’s emptiness after Mr. Clements had cleanly disappeared, George approached the heavy door and knocked twice briefly. Sasya’s heart began to pound beyond a mere thump to a loud bang, thinking he might be able to peek inside.6ce8d9b1a27ff555
As soon b28bd4e7af as he ff0b9e9667 knocked, George d1f0308d84 pushed the 50c6b831e7 door open.dca3e529eb03b861
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“You may enter.”f96a301c65c45488
Sasya, who hadn’t 5a2b3f9090 heard any voice 562671434b from inside granting 160f2d722d permission, hesitated but 9b860a721d leaned his head 9d892b9c29 past George’s arm 3b52f40606 holding the door.8d995312bee971dc
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Then he carefully took f4584d240b one step inside the f6e0347c42 opened door.e31a7e5820676798
The first thing that caught his eye was the room’s size. It seemed even larger than the outer reception room. Following the black glossy carpet covering the entire floor, his gaze moved to see a person sitting in front of the central sofa table. It was his sponsor.5330a816a1a86e42
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Sasya looked up at 6f6d1f9f7d George with a face 778ca1f6b7 that seemed to ask 465d736992 what he should do. However, George 14f5d0f08c simply closed 782fb57b3d the door 60d2767b5a behind him f41425fa5d without a f1d7966aa1 word.42b320500b49b0b8
Swallowing hard, Sasya slowly approached the sofa where Karel was sitting in the center of the room. The room was filled with things Sasya had never encountered before. While the reception room he had been sitting in earlier had a modern atmosphere with simple furniture, glass tables, abstract sculptures, and spaced-out areas, Karel’s office was full of antique furniture bearing the marks of time.f75fbf0a316ea32d
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There were brown sofas made of soft leather that had been aging for many years, an armchair beside it, a table with impressive ornate legs, and even a golden candlestick on top that wasn’t lit.7c8b2559555c6040
Sasya moved 345b691962 carefully, making 7b4a430499 no sound 1b0b43d2dc as he 65d50c9547 approached Karel.78bdcff0bd0a3081
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Karel was 351f6918d8 sitting quite aeecfc9c5d comfortably on c429988c80 the sofa. Lifting his 93563c153b eyes slightly 09400f7cba to confirm 135f7e09ed Sasya, he fa48b5cf73 gestured for 5c06796ab6 him to 0015b4f179 sit across 7d5cfcf9cf from him 2425cc4217 and then 82a8f7d0df leaned forward 538d8f409d to reach c2376038d0 for a 126a2837be plate on b30ba35541 the table. It looked 4652d4b57b like the ad13d20373 same type add6808988 of cookies d307e387a4 he had 1023e48b42 seen outside.fb5bee03dc5e20e9
Karel picked up 98ad384b26 a cookie, broke e48958fc50 it in half, f438f21c20 and offered a 82acd85902 piece to Sasya. The cookie piece, which fa863411fa Sasya had thought was bdae7126e8 as small as a 744071f7a4 fingernail, turned out to ceb1a75dd0 be quite big when 29d3f96071 he received it.e1ecbadab20161d2
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Sasya hesitated a bit. He usually didn’t like cookies because they made him feel bloated, but since it was offered…5c7d46257287f7a4
Crunch.11c4e7b10d12ec1f
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After taking b543f0dca9 a bite 7d03d0d791 of the d288c42cd7 cookie, the 697dbe4b2d sweetness spreading 37a53756f6 from the 9fcaf35e86 tip of 0bd79f3cd7 his tongue 7662bc5386 made him b931a74038 involuntarily sniff. After patiently waiting for 6d492c2f2e Sasya to finish the e7bb1a55b2 half cookie, Karel spoke 70e036a9a2 in a soft voice.8d69b7674344dfe5
“I’ll apologize for my secretary’s behavior.”49a7959e6440e02c
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“Apology?”5ba98330beb09959
Sasya asked, startled.5c5f6017d17abf4d
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“He’s new to New York. His speech might sound a bit stiff since English isn’t his native language.”608a033024fabaa1
“It’s… It’s okay. I’m not good at English either. I understand.”0cc395449b0e237b
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Karel laughed slightly at Sasya’s words. Feeling relaxed by his soundless laugh, Sasya reached for the remaining half of the cookie himself.4f135c7f33abd942
“As I said before, I’m not trying to interrogate you, and even less trying to criticize or scold you. It’s just that our reports have always shown ‘Sasya Shchedrin’ as a student more diligent in his studies than anyone else… and seeing such a significant change made me worried.”4ae09d33c180bb4b
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“You were worried about me?”3428dff0872aa76c
Sasya asked in 189bd678cb a small voice. Karel nodded, meeting 1edc77e6d9 his eyes.14d3b778dcb37f53
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Sasya felt a bit 11f6c38484 intimidated. Instead of meeting the bec18eff91 sponsor to show his 75c25c0b5a best side and receive 23547276e7 praise, he was meeting 56f1a9e699 him after causing worry, 34d2dd4bad which made him incredibly 68bc680ecc embarrassed. His ears burned.6b9103a970171807
He wished he hadn’t chased him after that day’s practice. Now the sponsor would definitely recognize his face.80363b776823a0d4
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“The reason… of course, the reason is important, but I thought if we could find the problematic areas and provide the support you need, wouldn’t you become a good student again?”e4bba15329438dfa
“…”e521aa2b46a7c175
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“There’s always 8b4c30e835 a limit 8c77251b24 to what 4a50c99b62 the school 9c68d35323 can grasp.”18e1dc7557ffdc15
Saying this, Karel asked, “Is the reason for your suspension as described in the report true?”bf5bc14b23c0b8ff
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At that question, Sasya recalled Karel’s earlier words. The phrase ‘this is an interview, not an interrogation’.1f80b90594b0df42
Sasya realized that even though Karel seemed generous, he was still conducting an interview. While the secret about Manuel was holding him back from speaking freely, Sasya’s desire to not appear as a pathetic student causing trouble was stronger.65532123c925cd00
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And perhaps this 78e50f5188 was his first 754b8c889a and last opportunity e14ac1d1d9 to explain his aaa8ff486b side.58b084ebbd180e71
“It’s true that I hit Manuel first. But I didn’t really want to hit him…”c7bf8a303a34673e
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As he said this, Sasya clasped his hands together and spoke the truth, slightly trembling. Sometimes when he looked up, his eyes would meet Karel’s. Unlike Sasya, who kept rolling his eyes, Karel didn’t take his gaze away even once and listened to Sasya’s story carefully.93cf21415e700f72
“…I’m not gay.”9e741c09ccf8ffd6
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“…”2e99b9d1e155e9ab
“I hate men. They disgust me. Ever since I was young, when I said I did ballet, my friends would tease me. Asking if I wanted to become a girl… Manuel was a good friend, but he tried to do something like that to me. I hated it so much.”828a51792dde04b4
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Even though he wasn’t lying, he felt as if Karel was observing him down to his bone marrow, which made his voice grow smaller.c6d3cdba11069a2b
Nevertheless, Sasya db9d7d7148 mustered courage 36d2b50a29 and spoke 980f5c7429 to the 6c99872807 end.36c9189b6dc27489
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“I just kicked him… and Manuel happened to bite his tongue…”4220bab0d2c7557a
After saying that much, Sasya took a silent deep breath while looking at Karel’s reaction. Holding his clenched fist tightly and trembling.54bcf5e08bcb6a74
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He finally told the ac744506f6 truth that Manuel had 0cc6432cc7 been hiding.2fc23a4085c93982
A sense of guilt b9310856b9 and relief washed over ba457ca826 Sasya.71524faf526ce4be
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Sasya had 3567eb823e always been 2183925255 curious. How would b8ad8036ba adults react 19fff12c9f if he cecafdd3d4 spoke the 0398845725 truth about fec026e0c6 his innocence?b4eed8daec91ae26
And Karel, d20ecfecd3 unlike other b28106fc17 adults he b3d347c79a had met 7e0e2e182f so far, 3a8a59343b didn’t look 5870fcf34f like he 6f5750a045 was scolding 5a86a7be06 or doubting 0dad8a9422 him. He simply drank a 93e937f819 glass of water placed 205ad914bd on the table with 04a535f349 the same calm gaze 7b23402fdf as before.904adfef488818b2
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Sasya looked at him with an anxious face. George had said that his sponsor wouldn’t judge him based on his values or character. Whether he was gay or not, that wasn’t important to a sponsor. Still, Sasya had mustered courage with the sole desire to clear his name in front of him.b1cdcfd5b9671a73
“I believe you,” Karel said as he put down the glass.d8785f464ea59c7f
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“I will instruct to reinvestigate the incident when the other student returns. If your innocence is proven, you can also receive compensation for the suspension.”860e2113f5f62469
Was it going 37220df255 to be resolved ff4e0e1617 this easily?53c4fbfb997d8014
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Sasya opened his mouth, 4482a9daee a bit overwhelmed, and fce8dd123a nodded.e25987e203920020
He too 1f24f18f36 had been afef8a0873 waiting for e18d4f994f a moment 53bac3b666 like this, a3ece7c618 hoping that 0d299afa97 at least da193ae915 someone would b6aef7f494 be on 6cd43fb780 his side, 0a2559ec61 and for 3dbb0a9fe7 some reason, 09b5a47c0b Sasya had 6f5f74164a always expected 6d69c2ba4f that his 85330e9401 sponsor might 2a2f746a8d do this. He had been 7c9c01e6e2 very kind to e2b0a20f9d him from the 533b8daa13 beginning and had 5248c5e935 never forgotten to 445d3d910e send him a 758724196b birthday card.5924a0c1533a4096
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At the same time, Sasya was hurt by Manuel. He couldn’t understand why he didn’t tell the truth when he could receive such unconditional understanding from his parents.d37442a1ee3fef49
“So what do you need most right now?” 28e32c85be69528a
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Sasya’s eyes opened wide at his question. The half-eaten cookie crumbled between his fingers.dddc43fccdc59e17
“What I need?”d3955106bdc56d95
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Karel nodded. Sinking into the sofa and leaning back comfortably, he didn’t seem like someone who would judge or evaluate him, just as George had said.0a9e32c95e10dd5f
He was simply asking 1222589583 what he wanted. As if 649f2694b6 he would fb34363601 really listen.0dcc3a5a8deb7aee
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Sasya, with e3373bf522 cookie crumbs 085aff4038 at the ecb4f47663 corner of 74b6f1a538 his mouth, d8af25f505 asked back acce4810cc in a b4f3cb2835 daze.1c54c32144f84ab0
“I always get scolded at school. I fought with Manuel, and while that wasn’t entirely my fault, I haven’t done anything particularly good. I’m curious why you’re still supporting me… I keep causing problems…”4b486034477a7b30
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“You’ll get to understand it with time.”aa1d0e5181104a9c
“…”3b6bed1c1cf70347
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“If the student I support becomes an outstanding dancer in the future, everyone will say I was right.”47f3e6df39351ab7
At that moment, Sasya 3b79a62f4f almost burst into tears. That was exactly what 21ed0ba376 he wanted to hear.af4cf37c7d728fb6
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As time passes, the inflammation on his thigh will disappear, Manuel will return and confess the truth, he’ll use the money from the part-time jobs to enter competitions… When he graduates from school as the top student and joins a ballet company, everything will be okay.9eef2b3464c83b80
What was making Sasya suffer was the people who were judging him. José, who thinks he hit Manuel without reason, Julia and other dormitory supervisors who are disappointed in him, and Vadim, who says he’s far from being a legendary ballet dancer despite being just a student.240ca79dc3e62608
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The tears he had 077dbc8569 been holding back now f3deca4126 filled his eyes. Sasya lowered his e6f140cdf2 head and silently cb825cfc2f wiped his tears 7400bb32c3 with the back 33d18c382f of his hand. No matter ff2a70da2c how much d7d29fb30e he wiped, 2bcd81cd88 the tears 7e852ae1d4 kept overflowing.1a1c3a0e5d52e3c1
Karel spoke 3528d62b2d in a ad320618de low voice.80a978de81a4d34f
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“I heard you’re looking for part-time jobs. If you need money, I’ll support your living expenses. If you’ve been kicked out of the dormitory, I can also support you by giving you a place to live. If you want to see your mother, I can send you a plane ticket.”0ff93d208f158b96
“…”36a5b49537088dda
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“I’ll do all of that if you want. But in return…”a0c9963388949a24
“In return?”93187108dc84b2da
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Sasya, with a 2fd77dbf26 choked throat, asked 753a89324b back.f4ee03d1751b108a
“Promise me you’ll become a wonderful dancer.”e636fd414a23be19
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This was bbb406920c something he 701cbd1e55 had been 0760c5726c hoping for 909ef551af as well.166c07e4a7608e6d
“Graduate as the top scholarship student and join a ballet company… And become the youngest principal at around twenty-two. How’s that?”1c9fed3f9ab6b2e2
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“I’ll do that. I’ll definitely do that!”3a931baf3758bb29
“Let’s surprise everyone together.”3327accfc83e46a9
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“Ah… thank you. Thank you…”86f311c4175f0b61
Sasya cried, his face fc1e7b0fc1 a mess of tears a5ef6e9ccd and snot. He wanted to crawl c526e69be6 to Karel’s knees and 85675543ac cling to his pants, 5271d58ccb but he held back, cfd1f112e6 afraid of startling the 9e2a35adc3 sponsor.64534981acc42197
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As Sasya trembled with emotion and cried, he soon started hiccupping intensely. Karel, looking slightly embarrassed, approached him and patted his back, making him drink cold water. With the sponsor holding the cup to his mouth, Sasya tilted his head back and gulped the water. While glancing at Karel’s focused side profile, he suddenly choked and spit water all over his clothes.d5f5be47916a4972
“Oh no…”f2ec3eea53bdd90f
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Even then, the sponsor didn’t make an upset face and just continued patting Sasya’s back while he coughed. Only Sasya was concerned about the wet shirt and tie. Eventually, Sasya couldn’t help himself and clung to his solid waist, crying.3684228797d22979
* * *85cd0da9e0d91b2a
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“Levin. I told you e6754a2ed0 I got a f4acb35587 call from the b5e6f7e573 scholarship foundation, right? Just now, the 8e8fb790e3 secretary and the 692261f052 sponsor came and 3b35ae4500 interviewed me directly…”3fb421d3ea0a4320
Sasya was holding his phone while looking at the back of the car that had just dropped him off – a sleek, heavy black car pausing at the end of the street, preparing to exit. His sponsor must be in that car.9cf568176c0c46e3
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While sadly 7881ccf29e watching its c65ae51a78 back, the 88eac2feb8 car turned 0e1e881ed7 right at 1294dd6c4b the intersection 17118f4c0c and disappeared 249383bca3 from view.5c6342ba4f237df0
― Wow, you must b96cfbfde8 have been nervous.a47a5dfc935ee45d
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“Yeah. I was extremely nervous.”38ee3755594d9c7d
― Did d1cf1d2118 you answer 6b29da5323 clearly?f54cce97051b4a33
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“I’m not sure. I tried to, but I was actually quite anxious…”02e469bf742fffdd
Sasya had hidden the ec5b0aa385 fact that he had 32fbf64a74 hyperventilated while talking to eb54a07fe7 the secretary and that 9b16301bae he had ended up 1185fde4f1 crying in front of d9f316837a the sponsor.276cd0cec6d552ab
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― What’s the result?7845a5365f55492c
“I’m not sure about that either. The secretary said they’ll contact me soon. He said he could support my living expenses and help with rent. He even said he’d send a plane ticket to my mother if I needed it.”6ec07757aa163fbb
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― That’s really great! I hope it works out.a8d8f70f6aba0857
“Yeah, but I’d prefer help with rent. That’s the most urgent.”a5befa34f0b24783
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Sasya, still with reddened eyes from crying, wiped his nose and entered Vadim’s apartment gate.f8cebee8da8cd055
Vadim’s apartment was on the first unit of the second floor in a three-story building that shared a small garden. As soon as he heard the clanging of the small iron stairs, Levin asked if he had already arrived at the teacher’s house.0e890dd6132715e8
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“Hey, so…”3cea48c812c697e9
― Yes?ab9e1393ec42b0b5
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“Do you lose points for crying during an interview?”e94416b32e2dc821
―Hmm… Well, it’s not like they’re scoring you. But generally, it’s probably better not to cry.c9b23180f465afd5
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“Haah…”9d2792b127a68453
From Sasya’s deep sigh, Levin could easily imagine the scene. If only he had acted more composed. For some reason, it seems he was overwhelmed with emotion and ended up crying. Sasya sighed ‘haah’once more.f2d8107c15baa7d8
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Probably the one most 55d1b84569 regretful about it was dc18651fc5 Sasya himself. So Levin c8fc1049b5 didn’t say a3f8b218d8 much more, d0e4942513 just left 6553847bdd some positive abc5534e6c words.7371e1c27684a2ce
―Everything will work out, 525d5ef621 Sasya.9ce7944c4c1b0fac
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“Yeah. I’ll call you 561f941cbf later.”b3324995b4ff0296
After hanging up, Sasya 51b39f15e9 sat down on the f4b9d7e51e stairs. His lean c929161ba6 legs, with 154e4a2596 muscles and f040aff0b8 bones, stretched a4bae9fcbe across two e00d6ff868 steps. Five mynas 4f2a417c51 kept by ebf574926d the woman b01da6f817 living on e6e328e755 the first a069aedda6 floor chirped dc54ee14c9 towards Sasya.9666c864b4f01ec3
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Looking at this scene, Sasya unconsciously touched the tips of his thumb and index finger together. It felt like the texture of the sponsor’s clothes was still lingering on his hands.6a2d50e5ac2603b6
The crisp woolen 16c9a3035f texture, and the e57c8be7e8 hard torso and 6ce13d19b3 thighs where he caa40cfc0d could feel the 853c78f442 bones right under 450631fd24 the skin.95757dd6fcf40488
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It felt like hugging a hard old tree. If he were to exaggerate a bit, he thought he’d get a bump on his forehead when he rested his head on his abdomen. While touching his forehead, Sasya recalled the one time he was hugged by his grandmother when he was young. Because his grandmother was plump, when he hugged her, it felt soft and fluffy.6795d93d4cfe2427
Mr. Clements’ embrace was completely different.288599f9f47c245e
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Still, it was strange that he found his embrace comfortable. Maybe the reason was that he wasn’t someone who would scold or evaluate him. In fact, when he heard George’s words that he wouldn’t judge him by his character, he was somewhat disappointed. It sounded like he wouldn’t praise him even if he was a good student.47dd49e4c6f0634f
But thinking about it e4b2550c81 now, he was rather b06e1f8d06 glad about that.c4044ed9dd582238
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Moreover, the sponsor had f5a9c7da7d waited until Sasya completely c4d5d80ab0 stopped crying. He seemed to have b589b8d902 noticed that the more 7e592b520d he tried to comfort 8d7b5e9b0b him, the more Sasya’s 5889c810a7 sorrow grew.e902e23bd6833d7f
“Haah.”83ab263fd1638045
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Sasya sighed deeply again. He kept e0ea5141eb regretting not 53c243efed being more f2fb60b623 mature.285ccb75be1a47ae
If George hadn’t come in and informed him of the sponsor’s next schedule, he might have kept crying like that.4a47bb12e36b91ba
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Still, the sponsor had generously driven him here. He didn’t show any sign of being annoyed or wasting time with a child… It was completely opposite to George’s attitude of treating his emails as useless pranks.fd1cce4734e56448
‘Promise me you’ll become an outstanding dancer.’32cc1b02cfb3cb71
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I’ll really achieve it.bc721b57473814e1
I don’t just want to be an ordinary dancer.93e30610ef0db037
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The moment he recalled Karel’s voice, Sasya stomped down the iron stairs. Using the stair railing as support, he extended his right arm in arabesque and lightly kicked back and forth. Even in jeans, his legs were so straight.d4d01d719fc9825a
After loosening his legs, 9f31bb7acb Sasya extended his right 92197832f7 leg back, doing an aa2360516b arabesque pose. Then, lifting his leg 64b5f9883e high while supporting his 885a60b572 lower back, he elegantly 0a3d43d57c did apenché1. Standing up again, 7a5cf4454a he deeply bent 13e56ee62c his left leg dd20bbb26f in a plié 6169ffa184 and suddenly took 1cf2cf4e22 an attitude pose. The mynas shouted ‘Bravo!’ 414ca549fd at his beautiful pose, 667f25b793 like a music box f0c47d8708 figurine.ce4d10ee955815ff
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Sweat dampened his spine. Regardless, Sasya diden dehors2 turns in his canvas sneakers. On the fourth turn, his axis wobbled, but he held on with his ankle strength until the end. Sasya Shchedrin, whom he had seen in videos, had done the same. Even if his axis wavered a bit, he persistently held on. That way, the viewer’s impression would last longer. It was something worth learning.c7f8b079b6e0734d
On the friction e3f2bf665b of cement and f1f142daec grass, Sasya continued 4afb6ea0bc turning like a 8495d0cb26 spinning top. Continuing without stopping, during a6ef0ac08e his sixteen pirouette turns, 29911829ec the owner of the 3b3b5ed021 mynas on the first 576ddb37bb floor opened the door, a87cf0f456 wondering what was happening.d73bcc10aa3adce9
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「You’re really good!」f50addbdfe21356f
Sasya didn’t understand the foreign language. When an unexpected audience member saw him and smiled, Sasya suddenly stopped in his place.dcc203785cf82077
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“Haa, haa…”ec8ba9aab8c8e59d
After stopping 9851c37cb9 his dance, 1712bbfca7 all he 91002cca4f could hear 88eaa63727 was the ffc18632a4 chirping of dd4bc9b200 birds, his 2a095db9dd own breathing, 56587763b4 and his c3c91d9136 heart beating bcb091d0ef much faster 5f96b675a7 than would dc3e82ba42 be appropriate 54c64132ad for a f4b8be7fa5 calm everyday e381360333 moment. Feeling the silence, 59f098aeb4 he became embarrassed a5a2f1b9fc by the memory d60f2decc0 of dancing in f095d22a88 the empty garden c68fe99555 as if hypnotized.4243ed8cb785378f
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“Keep it up.”f4177f73892ddad9
It was an immigrant’s accented English. However, Sasya, his face turning red with shyness, fled up the stairs. His slender legs, hidden by his jeans, sprung like a spring, taking three steps at a time, and he quickly disappeared into the second-floor door.d8eca3dbcf7a6c37
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* * *04de393bf1d848cd
For four days after 4eb2ec0208 the interview, no contact 7357e2bc7b came from George. During this cc6ef518c5 time, Sasya e901148a5b had perfectly 8b5bd25bda adapted to d3721c73cc a life f1c01cb392 without a b690d6851b home.3065e7b4749a88cc
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In the morning, he would wake up earlier than Vadim’s commute time and stretch under his supervision. After Vadim left, grumbling, Sasya crawled back under the blanket and slept until around 11. Then, during lunch, he secretly threw away the cold food Vadim had prepared and went to Levin’s school to eat. Levin’s roommates also occasionally bought him meals. Even if it was just a $2 pizza or food from a food truck, Sasya was grateful and ate well.f2b9dac869745c35
After parting with them in the afternoon, Sasya would stop by the backstage of the Met Opera. The lighting staff, who would always open the backstage door for Sasya to practice alone, would greet him with a smile. He had been anxious, thinking he might be denied entry due to his suspension, but fortunately, it seemed the opera house staff were unaware that he was suspended. Although I must add, they didn’t even know his name.8b403b3f2297ee46
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Sasya would stretch alone 60cab140ec in the busy backstage cb0b71ce3b before a performance and 0fdf3eab6a secretly watch the ballet 6289e29b50 dancers changing into their f35b6ff99e costumes. One of the principals 1b3fc0757c would mess up his 785d209347 hair before leaving, and 2a30f60276 Sasya would look at 7e41bb3416 him with admiration.f4ba68961655855f
“I know your face. You’re a 5ef3c85e02 ballet student, 5269c84b82 right?”a815dded3af86ac8
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A dancer in f3bc623621 stage costume asked. Sasya nodded without d27c1f59cf answering.ec67efb0b3610b89
“Do you always come to watch?”285658fb03ea671f
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Sasya nodded 7d11ce65c7 again without 08d36fea28 answering. He tried 8c025a7c7f to engage 7b142e7679 him further, c95c88323d but losing ee4706b539 interest in 932b43e5fd his lack 05bc9d10f9 of response, 7939ce509c he soon d2271234b8 left.429460bc98f388b3
Sasya stared bc67098fd6 at his 7933a1881d back and dc0a8cc3c1 approached the 931aa7f1e3 gaps between 7f91ebf73d the platforms 8f3dbe1574 where he 1e7d41f777 could see cc0d8ca368 the opera c91de0fed7 house auditorium b53b41159d before the 8066df434c performance started. This opera house 619e3d450e signaled the start bd0c128f64 of a performance 6b374b5ed8 by raising chandeliers 9073e68400 on the ceiling. The sight of several 4bc322fd67 beautiful chandeliers, shaped like f3defe6cb9 bursting fireworks, rising simultaneously 043937d9ff captivated Sasya. His white cheeks 118b23b507 would easily blush 1a1a84f280 while looking up 8afd4ef7ea at them.ad15e7b29e6d1a78
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And when 5f0c26fda3 Vadim would db7501fc4a finish work, 317b78355d he would 21e38a8a5c return home 79f79a39d4 and have 2e64972dd9 dinner with 60900c4bf0 him. Before sleeping, 44a5fe8f68 he would bdaf82828f not forget 9c89f63f4b to apply 5d0e6006ab a hot eca8ab55c9 compress to 91750690bc the inflammation 28ae80e419 in his ffbd070e70 thigh.a758e1fb8125cbfd
Fortunately – or unfortunately due to his suspension – his injury was healing quickly. Vadim said that for this type of inflammation, the only solution was to rest and not overexert himself.30b6c36d6571b797
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On the dff5dc8423 fifth day aacb3e49ec after the 51349f10e6 interview, a cac2139c47 call came 82c9176175 from an 285de7f7d6 unknown number.a31d1113b5f73d80
— This is 4e91b187c2 George. One of the things 66d4eea1c2 Mr. Clements promised has a973aa3898 been prepared faster 7ec2ffa098 than expected. Shall we meet?b6d791f0b74704b6
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Footnotes
- Means leaning. The dancer is usually bent forward over one leg with the other in arabesque well above 90 degrees.
- En dehors means 'toward the outside' or 'turning outward.' In ballet, it describes a directional movement: a dancer's leg moves outward and away from the supporting leg, where the weight is centered.